The secret to TRUE change

The moment that changed a man's entire life was the sound of a beer bottle hitting the table. 20 years ago, a woman I knew came to me with a heavy heart. She was married to a man who had become an alcoholic, and she was clear on what had to happen, but she lacked the courage to confront him. She asked me, "Rabbi, would you meet with him?" I'll never forget that evening the fear I felt pulling up to his house. I sat down and he opened two beers, one for himself and one for me. We spoke like friends about life, about work, family. I knew I wasn't just there to catch up. At a certain point, I gently steered the conversation where it needed to go. I told him, "Your wife, some close friends, and I were all very concerned. We see the role alcohol plays in your life, and it isn't healthy. It's gotten out of control." Now, when you bring something like this up, you brace yourself for the response. You expect anger or denial or defensiveness. Instead, he looked at me, really looked at me. And then, without any fanfare, took that beer bottle and he put it down. And that beer was the last drink he ever took. From the outside, it looked like he made one decision and he held on to it for two decades, 20 years. But that's not how it really works. There's a beautiful teaching about Jacob in the Torah. The text says he worked seven years and quote, "They felt like a few days." End quote. But we know when you're looking forward to something, it takes forever. So why does it say it that way? Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Torsy explained it means Jacob lived those years one day at a time. Seven years is daunting. Today is not. That is the secret of all real change. Recovery is not accomplished in 20ear chunks. It can only ever be lived one day at a time. Not I'll never do this again for the rest of my life, but today I won't. And tomorrow with God's help, we say it again. Forever is not in our hands. Today