The Most Misunderstood Idea About Teshuva | Ten Minutes of Meaning | Tanya #34

Good morning bookers and welcome back to 10 minutes of meaning. Please help yourself to coffee, slushies, pastries in LA corner with tremendous gratitude to Maryland and Michael Fedak for sponsoring our 10-minute series and learning of Tanya. Today she is also sponsored by the mayor my good buddy in in honor of BRS through 10 minutes of meaning turn the other 1,430 minutes of the day into something much more and we will take that charge seriously. We are in the middle of the seventh per of the has been talking to us about the difference between our godly soul and the neph the animal soul the animal impulse says that the animal inside us is not anything that we're trying to slaughter or get rid of or purge but rather the animal is something we're trying to train and here in parag he's been distinguishing between the four kipos three kipos the three husks or shells that block the light the or so the light of Hashem that are total eclipse of the light of Hashem. They are completely and categorically bad and negative. They represent that which is also and forbidden in this world. And the fourth which is kipas noa. Kipos noa means that which is a partial eclipse. There is some light that can penetrate, some light that can be accessed, some light that can be exposed the light of the orient of Hashem. However, there is a partial eclipse. So there is something that can be redeemed within the kipas noa. So until now the balatan here in paragan has been distinguishing between that which he calls rus permissible acts eating sleeping they're not inherently a mitzvah nor are they inherently forbidden and they therefore represent the light that we can bring out and we can elevate and transform or we can indulge the ego in us. So all that we do there is no third category. Maybe in there's a third category called but in hashkafa there's no third category. All that we do is either ego or elocus. We're either indulging our ego or we're pursuing we're chasing we're elevating through elocus. And he took us through several examples of that. The way that we for example eat marbled meat. You remember last time we spoke about the delicious the proper way to have a steak black and blue marbled meat and fragrant wine or we if you use them for on shabas if you enjoy them a great meat port a great kdish a great in moderation appropriately but all contributing to then it's wonderful then it's wonderful then the kiposa energy in it is refined it is ascended he says you could turn that piece of flesh on your table you go out to dinner and you share it Torah, you enjoy good company. You feel the presence of Hashem. You ask your friend how his nish is, how her nish is. You've turned that piece of meat into a carbon, into an ola, into an ool. Another example he said was using humor. We talked about comedy. Humor. Humor is not frivolous, but rather if it opens up our heart, if it softens our soul, if it makes us more able to experience with joy this world and this life, then it's being elevated and transformed. On the other hand, he spoke about of so if you're gluttonous and you gorge on meat and you guzzle wine if you're indulging the animal you're eating like an animal acting like an animal you're giving in to the kipas no so then you're eclipsing the orin so of the light and you are blocking hashem which brings us up to the following that unlike an act that's powered by the three categorically negative and destructive kipos where the evil in it is irredeemable there's nothing good that could be redeemed a kosher act something in this sort of neutral eating, drinking, sleeping, comedy which is his example can be either ego or elo. So when it is ego what do you do? So here the says in that third neutral area of life where something is neither a mitzvah nor it's where it's all about the attitude we bring the intention that we bring to it. Is it ego or is it elocus? Let's say we gave in and it was ego. It was ego. It was all about our ego. So we experienced that pleasure out of ego and we sought that honor out of ego and we wanted to post that to get attention out of ego. If we indulge the ego in that kipas noa in that intermediate category then we can do chuva. The repentance is not for the act because the act wasn't inherently bad. The act of eating, the act of sleeping, the act of humor is not inherently good or bad. It's all what we bring to it. So unlike if you ate non-coosher, god forbid, unlike a person who looked at the wrong image, unlike a person who shared gossip or slander, where the act is inherently bad, mal shabas, the act is inherently bad, you're indulging the kipa, the sitra, the other side. So here kipasgo where the act is inherently good or bad. It's just a question of the intention. Do you bring ego or elocus? Now you're not trying to repent or repair the act, but rather the attitude. And that's easier. Since the meat or wine are inherently permissible, they're inherently kosher. So now they're able to return and ascend with you when you realign yourself. We can go back and we can retroactively attach the correct intention or mindfulness. Shuva is the capacity to go back in time. We're able to edit the film of our life. So we could say that act of eating, that act of pleasure that I did purely out of ego, not out of elus, I want to go back and now retroactively I'm going to assign elocus intention to that act. This is mind-blowing. This insight of the is going to change the way we use these words. Words you've been using your entire life. When we talk about something that's permissible or forbidden, what are the words or terminology we use? Oser means forbidden and the opposite of assur is mut means permissible. We've been having kavana for that for two and a half years. We still have kavana because there's one hostage body that's still there. Trump says he knows where it is should be returned the so the family can have closure. But we've been having even extra kavana for the word materim the beginning of our amida three times a day. It's a little bonus sitter snippet going back now. What does mat assur mean? Release those who are Hashem. You have the power to release, to liberate, to free those who are assur means bound. They're imprisoned. They're bound. They're tied up. Means tied up and bound. Mut means released and unbound. So now, why do we use those terms to describe that which is forbidden or that which is permissible? pure and impure. I get other terms. I understand why and if something is it is tied to the sitra if something is forbidden it is bound with the other side the dark side it's bound to ego it's bound to that which is categorically and conclusively negative destructive wrong and bad if it's if it's user that which is user to shabas is assur to gossip or slander is asser to lie and distort truth is asser to look at the images we shouldn't be seeing I'm not judging those who struggle with them we all struggle but I'm just saying they're in the category of asser because they are inherently bound to the other side to the dark side they're categorically part of the kipa there's a husk the light of hashem is blocked from them maybe maybe deep even in the kipa you can find it that's why there's the capacity to do chuba even from them we'll get to in a moment But at least on the surface it's there's a total eclipse. There's only darkness. It's it's bound to the dark side as opposed to hat means mut means it's unbound. It's unchained. It's not tied to the other side. Re rather all it depends on is the intention, the mindfulness, the attitude we bring to it. So even after such realignment a trace of the negative force remains in the body and here the bal is going to bring as an example the idea of a kosher act that is absorbed temporarily by negative of forces is the example of a man who emits seed with carnal desire even in a permissible act. So let's say a person is in an act of intimacy with their wife who's tora. So they're married. It's the appropriate time, the appropriate context, the appropriate modesty, but the attitude and the intention of that act is purely carnal. It's purely anim animalistic. It's purely ego. It's purely pleasure. There is no elus aspect. I how could you have an elocus aspect? the physical act of intimacy that seems so base because if that act is creating a bond and a connection of of intimacy with the other if two halves are becoming a if there's an act of elocus because it's elevated to being a spiritual not just a carnal base physical so even here even though the act is mut because she's but if the person has the wrong intent the wrong attitude then they've also lowered it so again the balatan is telling us that we have that which is So that which is forbidden is kipa. It's husk. It's peel. It's blocking. It's a total eclipse of the light of Hashem. And therefore it's tied to the sitra to the dark side to the other side. And then you have that which is a mitzvah. That which a mitzvah is inherently valuable and good. And even there intent matters. Of course we encourage kavana for it. But the act itself is categorically good and positive. The mitzvah is a is is is from the mitsav. It creates a connection to and then you have this middle category which is it it's mut it's not tied to either side it's untied it's unbound to either side so all there is is what we bring to it it's our intent eating sleeping humor and even the act of intimacy is it carnal and anim animalistic or is it part of a relationship a connection and even with godliness and now he's going to give the converse the opposite side of everything we've just laid out. So this is not true when it comes to forbidden foods or forbidden acts of intimacy. If a person's eating that which is bound to the dark side's eating something non-cooser, it's bound to the kipo. It's from the three completely impure kipos. Their energy remains permanently tied and bound. And you cannot ascend from there. You can't retroactively assign a elocus attitude to an act that was inherently bound to the to the dark side. It doesn't matter. It was an act that was bound to the dark side. Doesn't matter if act retroactively. So what does that mean? It's irredeemable. It's hopeless. When we've indulged the ego in the three kipos that are that are connected to user, they're bound to the dark side. We're hopeless and helpless. We can't be redeemed to repair. There is no repentance possible. So here the interjects of course even acts connected bound tied to the three kipos until their day comes when death will be swallowed up forever even in the unredeemed world even before Msiah comes it's still possible to extract the energy there's a positive there is even still light Even beyond the three kipos not just kipos noa how through chuva what kind of chuva so here the says regular lowle low inensity chuva that helps you for kipos noa that allows you to go back in time and assign an elocus attitude to something which was mut unbound a neutral act but if you indulged in kipa and actually sitra a in the other side in the dark side and that which was bound to bad so now the chuva to be able to repair it and redeem it. In an unredeemed world, you can't get away with shallow, lowlevel, low intensity chuva, you need high intensity, high energy, deeply authentic. And here the bal adds a word that he likes. Mameish. Mameish. Mamesh. What does he mean? Because others understand this. Others understand this to be meaning figuratively that if a person does such an intense chuva, you can even transform the negative act into a merit. You could even take this donus that which you did based that which you did intentionally. You can even transform it to beus. Others say it means it's a nice idea. It's a rabbitic hyperbole. It means you were so intense. You were so authentic. You were so sincere. Well, treat it like comes along to Balt and he says, "No mish, you take it from this column, your demerit, your liability, you're in trouble, you're punished column." And not just you erase it from that column, you move it over a column. You put it in this column. You put it in the you've been a good boy column. You put it in you've been right and righteous column. You put it into this column. How do you do that? How do you move columns? How do you take something that was aer tied and bound to the citra? It was from the world of three kipos. It was an act itself that was categorically bad. And how do you move it from the column of zonos to mamish mameish? How says the chuva maya? It all depends on the driver and motivation of the chuva. If you're doing chuva out of fear, I don't want lightning to strike. I don't want my parnas or portfolio to plummet. I don't want my health to disappear. I don't want something to go bad. Hashem, I'm sorry. I'm not really sorry. I'm just sorry because I don't want the consequence or accountability. So, that's a low-level chuva. But if the chuva is, hashem, you could even punish me if you still feel I need to. But I want to repair and come close to you no matter what. I miss you. I love you. I failed you. I've disappointed you. I can't take that. I want you to love me. I love you. And therefore, I'm driven and motivated out of a repentance from the depths of your heart with great love. This distinguishes between and there's two types of a love. There's an ol which is the love to the creator for being created and there's an is a great love of the fervor of a craving soul. thirsting for God like a parch desert soil until now your soul is in a wilderness in the shadow of death distant as anything could be from the god's inner light a person in a relationship a spouse a dear friend someone they love and they failed them they hurt them and they come to them they say I hope you forgive me I want you to forgive me but my goal here is Not just to get out of the cold shoulder you're giving me. My goal here is because I love you and it's breaking my heart. I hurt you and I want to repair this relationship. I want to be close. I want to be connected. I'm craving. My soul is thirsting. I want to be closer to you than ever from this experience. It's the feeling of utter spiritual emptiness. It's the feeling of reaching rock bottom. It's the the impatience. I don't want to be this far, this distant. I don't want to feel this this disconnect from you. So when a person feels that distance in their soul now craves and thirsts Hashem more than even so because when you create the problem now you've also revealed the path forward. See when you're here all is well and good. Say I want to come close but I don't know this way or this way or this way or this way or this way. I don't know how to get close. Which path do I take? What do I do? But when you created damage and took a step back now you created the necessary path and the step forward. So theos the damage the path backwards revealed a path that now if you take it forward and now writes the unbelievably that thirst that craving that yearning that desire to repair to bring back from you indulge the kipa you gave into the person gave into the ego over elus in an area of is it was bound and tied to the dark side no light of god in it a total eclipse. How can you bounce back even from that when you say I take responsibility, accountability, I love, I miss, I crave, I want to come close, how you move it from this column to that column can move it over. Let's just end up and you become greater than it sadic. The saddic who never took a step back has no idea how to take a step forward. But the person who's took a step back indulged ego over and that which was down to the such a by doing that and moving backwards by making a path backwards they've revealed they've carved exactly they have a map exactly what the path is forward and therefore where they stand when they take that path forward they not only moved it over a column they stand where can't ever stand and that is the way to not only live That is the way to achieve an but if you say I'm sorry I regret the past I make a commitment for the future all the steps of chuva and it's wonderful and we give you credit and it's great however however however it's driven not by the highest motivation of chuva so now you're forgiven but that's not called you got it erased from the bad column But you don't get it to be moved over and written in the good column. And you didn't you didn't lift the total eclipse. There's still a total eclipse. So a person who doesn't do the the the chuva of they only do the chuva of orcha. So they've erased the mistake. They're no longer held accountable. They got rid of the punishment. However, they didn't redeem or reveal any of the light in that dark kipa. And now they have to wait until death is swallowed up forever till Msiah comes. Only then can they achieve a full a full repentance. Which brings us up to section three. Next week we'll cover section three, the very end of perk Zion. He deals with one particular a and this a I'll just give you a little preview which will likely bring you back next week and that preview is the following. Many were taught this did a lot of damage to many young men that if they wasted seed, it's uh it's like they've murdered millions of people. There's they're going to boil in a vat of their own whatever they're punished in ways that they can't ever endure. It's unforgivable. They're terribly bad people. And it's created enormous damage, enormous damage in the psyche of people. We don't have to get into those details. The goes in the opposite direction. He says while you might think that that is and it is a very severe sin one that cannot be taken lightly and a person has to be vigilant to grow and to regulate themselves and to be careful with the m of days of shaveim particularly it's a time to strive for kadusha but there is this this sort of counterintuitively is easier to repair from than other aos even though the aa is intense it's easier to repair from malamita we'll get to item next week. Stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy. And stay warm. [snorts]