Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 99): Arrogance Blinds and Distorts - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning welcome back to 10 minutes of meaning missiles yasharam and lozato continues to chart for us the path to course the formula for how to live our best selves how to live our best lives how to realize our greatest potential how to become who we're meant to be i think we're having some technical issues getting started here online bear with me one moment okay i think we are live i want to thank our generous sponsors for the year dear friends honey and lenny grunstin in the memory of hani's father mr aaron tambor should have an aliyah we have been making our way through the messiest asharam and we've been trying to conquer these character traits these attributes one by one to grow in these ways first the heroes to live a life of mindfulness conscientiousness caution to think about what we say and what we do how will it be received what impact will it have what will the consequence be not just to act from the god the animal the animal acts on instinct and impulse the human being what makes us a unique selling elokim is our capacity to be in control to be disciplined to be dignified to be thoughtful in all that we do and then we move to resources alacrity zeal to move with enthusiasm and with energy and then nikias one by one we've been going through different attributes and qualities that we want to purge not even be tempted by not even be drawn to not even have an appetite for and we spent the last couple of weeks been talking about the media the character trait of guyva of arrogance and he's described different types of arrogant people the overtly in-your-face loudmouth narcissistic egomaniac arrogant person there's the quiet there's the you know i'm so smart and i'm so good and i'm so much better than anyone i don't even need to say anything there's a person who's arrogant about how humble they are there are no shortage of ways that a person could display that sense of arrogance but what they all have in common is the person who feels that whatever gifts or talents they have they're permanent they're not on loan from hashem the arrogant person takes responsibility or is inflated with pride and what they've accomplished to who they are not realizing that it's really only because of the graciousness of hashem above him so these arrogant people who carry themselves and display themselves as if they're humble uh it doesn't work to reduce the obstacles that are in front of them because without their knowledge their arrogance is exposed like the flame that flares up among the coals in other words the person who retreats to the corner or sits quietly or pretends as if they're so humble no no no don't honor me at the dinner no no no no don't give me master yonah no no no i don't need mention no no no they act as if they're so humble but that person who really their humility is driven by arrogance they want to be the best humble person there is they want to be that everyone is praising them and talking about their humility so the person whose humility is driven by arrogance like the ember in the cold that ultimately will flare that arrogance that ego that quest for honor will flare the media it's comparable to a house filled with straw and the house has holes in it and the straw falls into the holes so what happens is eventually the straw begins to poke out fall out of the holes and everybody realizes that the house is made of straw cannon the person who seems or tries or carries themselves as if they're humble but again the humility is driven by by an arrogance a superiority that person can't help it eventually they're going to lash out eventually they're going to criticize eventually they're going to conduct themselves in a way where it's clear just how arrogant they are it is a modesty that's flawed it is a humility that is delusory it's delusional there's a person who has a false or fake sense of humility it's not genuine it's an act it's a demonstration it's a display but it doesn't come from someplace real the matsu and then we have another category of arrogant people shati shar gavasam kvura balibam whose arrogance is buried in their hearts loyote in other words they're working on themselves so such an arrogant person who doesn't demand attention and doesn't demand honor and doesn't demand power they're able to suppress their sense of superiority but really in their heart they can't help but look around and feel smarter better looking more athletic more artistic more accomplished they know they're smart and there are people like that they know they have an amazing memory they got a perfect score on their mcat or their lsat you have people who have able to read the algorithms predict the market they make millions of billions of dollars they are undeniably smart they are in the top whatever percentage of people have an iq and memory they have that arcane loya level they don't pay attention to what other people say so such a person who in fact it's not the loudest in the room doesn't demand the most attention isn't the most superior but yet thinks of themselves always as the smartest in the room such a person never learns or listens to anyone because if it's clear to them then their clarity is more authoritative than anyone else's point of view and it's not clear to them then what are the odds that anyone else has anything to offer to offer clarity they never listen to they never consider they never weigh the opinion of another because hey i'm smarter i have a better memory more accomplished i got a better score i make more money so who has anything to add or offer to me this is a terrible fatal flaw rabbinion writes in isharichuva that the prerequisite to shiva were just a few days before rosh hashanah in the last days of elul rabbini yonah says the prerequisite to chuva is the ability to listen the ability to listen if your spouse if you're rebbe if your colleague if your friend give you feedback and say look i know you're well intentioned i know you're a good person but i need you to know how you're being perceived in this area or i need you to consider that maybe you need to be more punctual or consider people's times maybe it's time to take your health and wellness a little bit more seriously maybe have a harusa maybe it's time to grow in learning but if you're a person who's got a force field around you you have a shield around you not because you're arrogant in the way that you are um you are um what's the word i'm looking for you're condescending towards others but you're arrogant in the way that you simply think i'm smarter than others why do i need to listen why do i need to consider why i need to entertain the opinion of others what do they have to offer me everybody knows i'm smarter such a person never listens they shut down they've got this wall this force field and when you're unable to listen then you're aiming unable to learn it's amazing because we all know that they consider who's the smartest person in the room not the one with the highest iq not the one with the best memory not the one who killed it on the lsat or the mcat not the one who knows shaas paper who is the smartest person in the room the one who learns from everybody else that's the smartest person who's the smartest person in the room when you're able to listen seek advice gain wisdom when other people's constructive criticism can penetrate and you say i can gain from it i want to glean from it but a person who shut down who's closed down a person who's got a wall a person who says that almost they don't even realize it's coming from arrogance because they say look i'm smarter what do i have to learn what do i have to listen such a person can never grow rabino yonah says they're doomed such a person is doomed because they can never grow they can never repair they can never improve because they can never listen to this all these are outros of a form of pride that totally distorts the wisdom of our sages that takes away the hearts of the wise even the students whose training is still incomplete and whose eyes have barely opened consider themselves equal to the greatest of sages the haughty of heart are an abomination to hashem this is a very important paragraph it's a very important insight of the saying we're seeing in our generation what does he say you have novices you have beginners you have barely literate people on any subject and they think that they have as much a right to an opinion that their opinion is as much authoritative is as legitimate as real experts as real experts now the information age in which we live the access to the internet age in which we live is filled with tremendous blessing access to to wisdom and to teachings and to knowledge it's it's incredible but the problem is that anybody with an internet connection and a keyboard can also pose as if they're an expert and so you have whether it's on halakhi topics hashgraphic topics totally secular topics anyone with a keyboard and an internet connection can write a blog post can post an article can post on social media and to the unsophisticated consumer of information who is simply consuming what's available on the internet there's no distinction between somebody who has a peer review between somebody who has credentials and credibility between somebody who has years of experience and wisdom and to the person who's pontificating who's shooting from the hip who's speaking from the boy this is a plague in our generation of talmidim you have barely literate people weighing in on on issues of great import and they're influencing people around them who don't know how to consume information in a sophisticated way and it comes from arrogance and that arrogance the arrogance that says well ravashah wise pascal that's rashford in this and so-and-so passing this but i who are barely sure which way to hold the gemara upside from down let alone can't recall one dolphin shots this is my opinion and i'm going to write a whole post about it i'm going to write an article about it i'm going to weigh in with my conclusion and i'm barely literate on any subject let alone this one but i'm going to present my opinion as if it is equal to those who are the experts and that's true as i said it's true in the area of torah it's true in secular knowledge and secular wisdom ask your doctor it's true for your doctor your doctor went to medical school and did a fellowship and has 30 years of experience following and then you googled webmd and you say you sure i should take matt madison i think i should take this one and your doctor looks at you and says are you kidding me you know how much money i spent on medical school you know how much time i've spent going to class do you know my my fellowship do you know how many years i've been don't you think i've built an intuition through my years of working that doesn't mean that we can't gain wisdom and have critical thinking and ask important questions but it means that when we present ourselves as equal because i googled webmd and there's my doctor with 30 years experience and we're equal with our opinion it's arrogance it stems from arrogance it's not intended arrogance but it stems from arrogance to think that our opinions are equal and such an attitude is nothing less than an abomination to hashem so whether we're producing information or consuming information we have to have a humility and a modesty to know what we know and more significantly to know what we don't know to differentiate between experts and amateurs and novices to have critical thinking and ask important questions and and pose suggestions but to understand the difference between those who are true experts who have credentials credibility experience and those who are beginners mukulum takshi naka wrote midas anakiyas and we all need to be careful to cleanse this media you have to know and understand that arrogance blinds us it blinds us that's the problem with it if you saw that you're arrogant if we could step outside ourselves and realize how we look to the people around us we would never act so arrogantly but it blinds us it blinds us if we would see and recognize the truth we turn away we distance ourselves from these corrupt ways we'll talk more about this when we get to the attribute quality of humility is and because true humility is so difficult and true humility is not to think of yourself less but it's not to think less of yourself but to think of yourself less not to think less of yourself know who you are your talents your skills that they're from hashem humility is not to think less of yourself it's to think of yourself less less often and less significant and less important and less deserving but it's so hard true anivas truanava true humility and modesty is so difficult that if pink has been put it towards the end of his 12-step program that's what says we'll come back to it later so with that we we end the attribute of gaiva so gaiva takes on many different forms it can be overt it can be much more subtle and nuanced but the common denominator of it all is that it pushes and drives the people around us away it puts a force field and a wall around us that we become incapable of listening and therefore incapable of growing and improving and repairing we end up self-destructing and sabotaging and it blinds us we have no idea how we even look so in order to be able to grow and improve and grow out of arrogance we have to be able to step outside ourselves to see ourselves and to try to grow with a greater sense of humility hashem will pick up with it next time we continue 15 minutes with living in the munna tonight we're going behind the bhima with rabbi israel rabbi yissy kaminetsky the manahal of drs old friend mentor of mine from my teenage days of growing up looking forward that's at nine o'clock tonight when we start again 15 minutes living with amuna stay happy stay healthy and stay holy