Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 87): Cowards Take Revenge - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning Boker Tov and welcome back to our weekly ten minutes of meaning in which we all try to apply the formula the beautiful principles of Mithila to charm that I'm proud of Moshe five minutes Otto who draws from the ancient times wisdom of repin husband year who gave us a formula for how to perfect ourselves a formula for how to live the best version of ourselves a formula to realize our potential to make the biggest difference in the world and to ask ourselves Mahalo Samba Alamo what is our mission and what is our charge and why are we here and who are we meant to be and what are we meant to accomplish I want to thank our dear friends I see the marching Lennie and Fannie Greenstein for sponsoring this year's series in memory of Connie's father was Darren Tambor and I hope our learning is lelou initialize our own event yet stock thank you for your sponsorship your generosity thank you for your friendship and it's great to have you back in Boca Raton where I'm Perry Q Dallas the media oven the key is the quality of cleanliness in which the room has already established that we need to conquer the heroes mindfulness consciousness we need to be fully present and engaged in all we thinking all we say you know we do don't just grip it and rip it don't live life blindly don't say whatever comes to mind and do whatever your inclination and go wherever you want because such a life one sabotages their own success one actually corrupts their own relationships if you want to make the most of your life and be the most in life then you need to be the best present you can be in your life be fully present and engaged in each and every moment be thoughtful about everything you do and then you won't live with regret you'll live with pride of who you are what you've said and what you've done then King series this alacrity zeal in thighs e Azzam go pursue your goals make resolutions don't just want to want want things and how do you know the difference between you want to want and what you want by what you're doing the things you're doing here what you want to be doing the things you say you want to be doing or really what you want to want to be doing you know the big pile of books on your nightstand that you claim you don't have time to read it you don't want to read them you want to want to read them because if you wanted to read them you turn off the Netflix and you to open a book and therefore one has to be honest with ourselves the difference between the want and the want the want and it's beautiful there are many things that we want to want to do and hopefully we can transform the want to what into want we can transform it from a wish or a dream into a resolution with a goal and a plan and make it happen and that brings that I'm hollow up to the media of Nikias the third quality in this 12-step program in this formula let me delve Nikias is cleanliness he's been going through one by one and identifying where the areas that to be a complete person the building blocks the character traits what does it mean to be whole what does it mean to be complete to be careful with our speech to be careful with our our thoughts in our mind to be thoughtful with our honesty and integrity to be thoughtful and our eating in our health and our wellness and well-being he's been going through these one by one and went up to the media of Sinha and nickimja of hatred and vengeance and he's described that a person is very naturally sensitive to humiliation we feel extreme anguish someone's embarrassed us someone's injured us someone hurt us they sent an email they gossiped about us they damaged - it actually damaged a business opportunity and a comma ylim Masuka me - for such a person who has been injured by another party vengeance revenge is sweet as honey key him a new house all live vada it is the only thing which gives us respite somebody's hurt you and now you have the opportunity for payback time I don't get angry I get even supposedly but that's not the Jewish Way the Jewish Way is neither to get angry nor to get even I came to share bokura la so my Shiva my Creator force of the abirami does of below yes let me show you both sooner below you come in an abyss Dominus you cannot game below you Turlough and it's a cacophony awesome in the mochila La Hoya has Zack the a meets who do you know a person who takes revenge they're not strong despite the way it's picked it in the media somebody who takes revenge that's not the hero that's not the strong person that's not the keyboard you know who's strong you know whose courageous you know who's brave the person who doesn't bear a grudge the person who doesn't try to get even the person who doesn't keep score of everybody who's ever harmed them or injured them in life now again if someone rammed into your car and there's damage and you deserve compensation then you go to Baisden then you go to whatever means you the insurance you're allowed to collect what's due to you the prohibition of revenge doesn't mean that you have to be a sack they have to simply take whatever someone does to you if someone owes you if someone deserves to and say you then you're entitled to hold them accountable but what the Torah means and what that allows expanding is emotionally then emotionally to be invested you have to realize person damaged you that was meant was meant to be from Hashem Hashem also dictated the terms of which were able to collect the compensation of those damages but to get angry to lose one's cool to forfeit one's humanity to seek to take revenge that's not power and that's not strength that's weakness that's weakness Kazakh say I'll meet sue the person who can take it on the chin someone insulted you someone live slandered you someone even hurt you with their words and you say you know what I'm gonna turn the other way I'm not paying it forward maybe I have to legally hold them accountable in cases where I must but emotionally I'm not gonna absorb their negativity emotionally I'm not going to give them precious real estate in my head emotionally I'm not going to marinate and stew and perseverate on how I can get even and how I can pay them back because you know who suffers the most when you do that not them the one who suffers the most is you you sacrifice and forfeit your serenity your tranquility your happiness your joy for life the real strength has Zack there meet sue the real strength and the real courage is to be able to persevere who contract for my Akasha in my name I meet us at Lalo and you know for whom it's easy to do that only angels angels can be insulted angels can be harmed and turned the other way you know but we have the capacity to stretch and to reach and to aspire to be angelic in our lives Lowell shocked me but they from a chef are you so dumb I'm nonzero-sum Alec leave on the gross Green Beret TV industry can perish well sister Sofia Bella raha OC Camilla C Torres Bonet I'm Martha it's a chemise decree lipstick and clearly spell this out don't hit your brother in your heart don't take revenge don't Harbor a grudge against somebody the longer you hold on to a grudge the heavier it becomes the heavier it becomes the more you bear at the hole more you hold on to it the heavier becomes you know people like that people who have a spreadsheet of everyone who ever hurt them 27 years ago you said this and therefore I continue to carry it the whole longer you hold on to it the longer you carry it the heavier it becomes the more we suffer put it down let it go move on and if that's not a person that you can trust start a person who's to you then learn from it and move on but don't give them real estate in your head don't emotionally be invested or charged don't seek to be able to take revenge in fact cause I'll tell us minute now I love him that in an open Sheldon had possum venomous even the greatest merit comes to the person who can bear and absorb that insult and not respond and not respond you know there's a there was an episode that happened our show several years ago about a certain public figure who decided to distort and really really distort and manipulate facts into lies and then created a whole campaign and he has followers who continue to do so today someone brought to my attention recently a video continues to slander libel and lion and says what are you doing I said absolutely nothing this is a great bar Hashem the opportunity to fulfill what huzzah tell us brings great merit to take it on the chin and not respond to not get even to not escalate to not go public to not create war and contentiousness and battle there's simply no problem you want to say it I know the truth three boenish Allah knows the truth and normal people know the truth and otherwise don't respond not every email and not every text and not every social media post needs or deserves a response we have this inclination the trolls who try to go after us and the people who try to hurt us or try to get our attention not everything deserves a response minute now I love in vain and o'them be insulted and don't insult back showman crap asana in a mushy v''m just absorb it accept it and then dance the kazakh and be so grateful because what a merit for you and your family that you have your hizaki there are meats that's courageous that's bravery that's strength to be given the opportunity to be put in the position to express that bravery and strength it's in fact as close it's in fact a blessing and a privilege so nakama taking revenge is for the weak the really strong can say you know what i learned a lesson but that friend acquaintance neighbor colleague even family member I'll maintain my distance I'll be guarded and careful I'm not necessarily going to trust but the one thing I won't ever do is get even because to get even as to lower myself mister forfeit my humanity is to concede the best of me then deny mokemo vanity ride do dynamic Emily money me hit him let me show Russell a TiVo or share a look fire everybody knows the difference between nickimja and tira McKean musta bear garage means to not show the same act of kindness to the person you went to your neighbor and you said can I borrow your lawn mower and your neighbor said no then your neighbor comes over and says can I borrow your hammer so will you don't let me borrow the lawn mower so no you can't borrow my hammer that's pure revenge if you can lend the hammer and it's not going to harm your hammer in any way and you can do that favor then do the favor and the Tyrael AHA scare but I see who may take it let me show here a low a Z Z Carmen I Russia a solo natira is that you lend the hammer but you say hey yank oh I'm so much better than you because I wanted the lawnmower and you said now you could take my Amur but remember you didn't let me have a lawnmower I'm at least letting you have the hammer so one is when you deprive or deny or you don't allow the other person you actually take revenge and the other is that you don't take revenge in action but you take revenge with your words by throwing the face of the other person that you're doing something they don't let you it's beneath you it's past list we're lowering ourselves so you're saying well how can I not how can I not do you know what they did to me and you know how it made me feel and you know the heard it caused well it's not gonna go away or get better because you took a come or matira all you're gonna do is feel even worse because you're not realizing the best of who you could be you're actually allowing that Yates are harder to creep in we all have to live life to say for our kind of rights at the core of the prohibition of the comma and matira says the safer I kind of at the core is Emunah if you have faith if you realize that nothing can happen to you without it being the will of my Shem so in the person rammed their car into your car that was what was meant to be it was right wait for your car to be damaged I that doesn't mean you can't go collect the insurance you can go hold them accountable collect from them but don't take revenge because to take revenge ever is Tanaka shame and the equation is to eliminate Hashem as if he had nothing to do with this whatever happens to us sometimes we understand sometimes we'll learn and other times we will forever remain ignorant of the reason but everything is from our sham and it's for a reason so hold people accountable when you can and when you should but emotionally let go and let God let him in and realize it is what's meant to be don't forfeit that part of yourself be the best version of yourself who can absorb an insult even an injury and nevertheless the showmanship awesome anima Shivam don't answer don't respond don't pay it back don't pay it back all right we're gonna leave it here or next time as we continue to play through the park of Nikias whether I'm house going one by one to help us be the best version of ourselves imagine if we can employ all of this advice and to be thoughtful and mindful and everything we say and think and do be careful in our eating in our wellness and our habits be careful in our language that we use never to use profanity be careful in our thoughts and and never to subscribe to promiscuity to be careful with our interpersonal relationships all the things that is giving us one by one by one to be thoughtful never hating another never taking revenge against another to be thoughtful in all that we do alright 8:45 in about 15 minutes we continue with living with emunah my favorite half hour forty minutes of the week same zoom channel also same YouTube and Facebook channels if you're on YouTube feed please subscribe to our Channel and tonight 9:00 p.m. behind the Bema a very special guest I'm very excited dr. Jerome groopman New York Times bestselling author famous Harvard doctor who has taught us how doctors think how patients think who will help us navigate these very complicated times see everybody soon thank you so much