Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 200): Dress For the Job You Want - Mesillas Yesharim

welcome back to 10 minutes of meeting please help yourself to some coffee and donuts and as always enormous gratitude to our sponsor of our 10 minutes of meeting series 10 minutes are sponsored by Aaron senior memory of Rose Pizzeria labe today is the 200th episode of our message 200 10 minutes they all add up that we're almost done with the safer we started the 23rd chapter whether amhal has been teaching us how to acquire humility we spoke in principle about the value of humility of why humility is important and why it matters and why it is very defining and who we are and how we live and how he's been advising us on how to acquire it and we last left of the rampal told us the two ways are margiel and Assad we need to create habits and patterns we are creatures of our habits so much of our life we are creatures of routine there's bad news and good news if we have bad habits then so much of our day is pre-programmed to have bad habits but if we form good habits then so much of our day is on autopilot to live well and to live properly so the first thing is regulus's habits and the second is boning to nachos been mindlessly going through life but to be contemplative to be thoughtful to be analytical to be present to be conscious some conscientious in all that we do and that's where he picks up King the nature of a person's heart is to swell and to be filled with conceit people naturally are driven by their ego they think of themselves they think of their honor they think of their name they think of their comfort they think of their well-being there is a natural urge some of it's good it's survival if a person didn't naturally prioritize themselves how could we survive so there's a natural instinct to prioritize ourselves and from a survival perspective that's wonderful however from a midos perspective that's challenging so how do we overcome that nature that natural ego that Natural Instinct Ellen Kane has a brilliant insight into the human psyche I would say well ahead of his time from ecology standpoint from a Torah standpoint it's what we've known all along is not the only one who says it says that many others the formulations what comes first you have to be motivated internally and then because you're motivated and inspired now you change or behaviorally do you begin to change and now fake it till you make it start by faking it and then you'll make it so arms or our tradition the Torah teaches don't wait if you wait to be inspired to change you may never change just act behave do and if externally we're dressing and acting and behaving the way we want to be then the heart will follow after the actions the heart follows the schlach writes the same thing you saw a filthy muscle local car or Kenyan shibarno Chicago a person should always be astute when fearing the Eternal Dynasty vacation always use subterfuge personalities to treat strategic in the struggle against our nature and its Tendencies until we win out don't wait if you wait to be inspired to to exercise you're going to be still sitting on your couch a big schlub if you wait to be inspired to join remember sugarman's dafyami to take on the morning Colwell to go to smirkhaver to do learning on your own you'll find another week another month another year has passed you haven't opened the safer if you wait to be inspired to be more patient and soft-spoken at home you're still going to have the conflict and the tension instead don't wait for the inspiration to act start acting and you'll find the inspiration follows fake it till you make it dress for the job you want not the job you have whatever cliche that you want to invoke but that is the total attitude and perspective there are so many people who wake up later in life and they have such regret about the time that was wasted and squandered about their brand and reputation about the choices that they made all because they waited to be inspired to make a change instead of making the change and realizing it's the inspiration that follows I want to share with you Rabbi Torres scared by Dr Abraham jaitorsky and his commentary Mathis he says something so powerful he says understanding of human psychology is profound in this single paragraph he demonstrates he knew more than many learned psychologists who for so long have advocated changing Behavior by understanding its source says such efforts are futile because contrary to traditional psychological teaching we have no way of reaching into ourselves and extirping the source one can only Begin by changing Behavior which will then bring about the desired internal change we've dealt with this issue earlier in the book and pointed out some of the more Eastern schools of psychology because they observed the ineffect of traditional Psychotherapy have taken a more behavioristic approach working from the outside in rather than the inside out in fact it's in regards development of the trait of humility that begins that the ramban rather begins his letter to a son with the instruction control his rage reaction which will then lead to humility the ramban in the letter he writes to his son where he says person should accustom himself and when once you accustom yourself you habituate yourself you're not you're not internally driven and motivated to never get angry but if you become determined and driven if you make a promise and a pledge if you track it today we have spreadsheets and Google Docs and we have the ability to see whether what we're saying is what we want to want or we really want are we doing and fulfilling what we say and it's what we Peter Drucker the great management Guru says what gets measured gets managed so if you keep a spreadsheet if you track there was a pastor who tried to get his entire congregation to stop complaining he distributed bracelets you switch the wrist you could make it to 40 days without complaining 40 days you form a new habit can you make the 40 days without complaining you have to switch the risk and the bracelet a little trick to see what day you were up to how far you can get what gets measured gets managed keep a app on your phone a note on your phone a spreadsheet can you make it 40 days without raising your voice losing your cool growing impatient without screaming and angry in Anger without reacting in Rage don't wait to be motivated and inspired I'm a different person I'm changed I'm calm I never yell instead challenge yourself can you go the 40 days and then wake up and be a new person because you change the behavior and that transformed the actions internally that's the ramban's approach the ramban says to a son hit piles reflective transform yourself to be a person who never raises his voice you know what will happen if you go 40 days without raising your voice on the 41st day you'll realize hey you know what I don't get angry much anymore I find that I don't get angry if you wait to not get angry so you don't raise your voice you'll never not raise your voice but if you make a promise you'll stop raising your voice you'll find you don't get angry that's the pathway that's the schlot the ramban the Messiah that is the message is fake it till you make a dress for the job that you want not the one that you have his vote anyway you know I'm Shonen so that was the first thing is behaviorally externally make a routine that reflects who you want to be and live that routine and see the impact on the transformation the second is his bonus contemplativeness so many of us are just caught up on the rat race of life we're running on that hamster wheel we wake up in the morning and once we press go we don't stop and reflect and think have self-awareness sit in judgment contemplativeness thoughtfulness highest bone anyway the first thing is to think about what the injunction of the cabin may I in Boston know where you come from you come from a future drop where are you going off are you going to be buried your future worm food and for whom will you have to one day one day well you have to give them the great mission of us tells us if you stop and interrupt if you pause and disrupt your day and you simply contemplate and think about I think I'm all that I just closed another deal I just killed it on something else I just gave a great speech of Russia I just got somebody who reached out to me and wants me to appear or speak I just got so many followers I just got whatever the case may be in whatever life you live and you begin to swell with pride wow I just earned I just spent I have then remember where you come from and remember where you're going and remember the dinner we're going to have to give not about the part that people see what people don't see in our hearts and our minds and in our browser history what people will see about the struggles we have and how limited we are and how faulty not not our success but where do we still struggle Hashem the almighty is with us at all times and everywhere and he knows and that will humble us the problem is that we only want to concentrate in Focus we only want to reflect and take stock in the success we think about the good things we think about the things that we are proud of but if we stop and remember where we come from where we're going and how much we will have to have the consequences of what came in between it's not to beat ourselves up or feel guilty or knock ourselves down or hold ourselves back it's simply a reality check every now and then we need a humble check a reality check and that will help prevent us from swelling with too much pride but it only works if we pause to think about it we have to be contemplative we have to stop and we have to think and we have to reflect because if our mind races and we're just on go and there's noise in the background from when we wake up till we fall asleep and we never stop and we never pause and we never think and we never stop we never take stock in ourselves to me that's a lot of what dominating is about dominating obviously we're supposed to be concentrating on the world words but Dominique is also a quiet time there's no telephone there's no technology there's no to do there's no tasks where it's an exercise in humility as we stand before Hashem we say whatever I'm going to produce the rest of the day whatever I'm going to achieve and accomplish right now I realize it all depends on you I can't do squat I can't do anything without you you know what that's humbling it's humbling to realize you are the senior partner you are the success to anything that I will get done so we begin the day we interrupt the day we conclude the day chakras through that exercise of humility so that as our ego swells in between when we do things throughout the day we are reset we reboot we are reminded of who we really are where we come from where we're going and to whom we are accountable and that should keep us humble we continue in 15 minutes we're living with the Moon tonight we're gonna mind the bema police the elephant the founder of adapter to talk about resilience she recently lost the Sun or and she remains very committed to making a huge difference in this world that's tonight at nine o'clock till next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy