Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 153): Love With Passion - Mesillas Yesharim

Good morning Boca welcome back to 10 minutes of meaning please help yourself to coffee and donuts want to thank our generous sponsor Jeffrey Gelb who sponsored the 10 minutes of meaning series of four of the year in memory of Michelle and I have been a drama coin also our learning is for a speedy complete of Esther Ben Riser and the 19th paragraph of Sharam we have been steadily making our way systematically through the Ram wonderful magnum opus describing to us the formula the prescription for how to live our better selves how to live our best selves it began with a sense of the heroes mindfulness caution how to be present in every decision or speech or thought then resources to go from caution and mindfulness going from being steady and slow to resources alacrity enthusiasm energy and zeal we then moved on from resources to Nikias how do we identify purge and rid ourselves of those temptations those behaviors and those habits that absolutely do not belong in our repertoire whatsoever after that was precious precious was how to live without not that we are in aesthetic people aesthetic religion we do not deny or deprive ourselves the joy the pleasure of this world but when we live without only then are we entitled to live with when it doesn't define us when we don't rely on it when we're not addicted to it when we prove to ourselves to others and to a sham that we're able to live without then we are entitled to live with then came Tahara how to live a life of purity how to be pure in our thought how to be pure in our conduct how to be pure in our intentions how to be pure in our relationships and that brings us up to Hasidic which is what we're doing now Hasidic to be a Hasidic is defined not by what you wear externally not by whether you drink or sing songs of but it's also Hasidic nothing wrong with that but to be a Hasidic ideal before Hasidic was introduced to the world by the to be a Hasidic is to go above and beyond to be a Hasidic is not to be satisfied with good but to strive for great not to get away with it's enough but to want to be the very best that we can so now let's talk about the middle of he talked about to be a Hasidic to go above and beyond to strive to be great not satisfied with good is true interpersonally in our relationship with people it's true in our relationship with a sham and it's true in the relationship that we have with ourselves and the divided into segments into different areas in which we have this ambition spoke about we talked about eros the most basic level is to be aware that we are accountable to recognize that there are consequences for the decisions that we make and for the behavior that we exhibit and that there is reward and punishment the higher level to live with a sense of awe to be capable of getting goosebumps to see greatness and to recoil and say wow I'm in the presence of greatness above that is the level of and that's what we're up to is divided to three parts I see nobody's taking a donut or having coffee study a fast day I'm not aware of no please help yourself they're generous sponsors and people go to pick it up so enjoy I was divided into three parts Simcha Dveikus and Kena they are Simcha joy we're in the month of Adar this is the month of Simcha we get two Adars Adar alif dar and the comes to live with us and within us when we see and reveal them all around us Marvin the Simcha when we think we're going out at alone we think we're in charge and we're in control you can't help but be brought down to be nervous anxious depressed but Adar alif dar when the lives dear but I don't know when we see him all around us Marvin the Simcha there's a relief that everything is for a meaning and for a purpose that is in charge he's in control Dveikus to cling and to cleave to God and Kena and Kena is zealousness not jealousy in this context but Kena like a Kena to be zealous to have a lack we have zeal to have passion to care to be principled so we'll unpack each of these areas she had them so this is a very basic thing that's missing in the relationship many people have with a sham too many people too many people were raised and taught and live a very fearful and dry relationship with a sham he gives us a list of do's and don'ts he holds us accountable we're rewarded if we do we're punished if we don't now go and live he's the king we're the servant and we report to him and all that's true it's absolutely true it's critically important to remember that it's true but there's also a much more basic relationship with a sham and that is love he loves us and we love him he's our father in heaven and he's our intimate other the mission in Kaylin says there are many metaphors for our relationship with a sham he's the master and we're the servant he's the father we're the children there are countless metaphors in fact the and the mystics understand that each of these relationships in this world only came to be a sham designed the world in which we have those relationships as metaphors for our relationship with him so one way that I relate to him is a employer employee master and slave one way I relate to him is father and child he created us that we are children and please God we have children so we can understand what it means to be a child we understand what it means to love as a parent because created a world of attraction of men and women of husbands and wives of longing and love also a metaphor so which is the holiest which is the highest which is the relationship with him we strive for which is the greatest to see ourselves as his children to see ourselves as his servants to see ourselves the many other metaphors so teaches that but each of the metaphors is holy each one we extract and we apply a different component of what it means to connect to a sham what it means to connect to a sham give an example until you're a parent who has to say no to your child your child throws a tantrum and says why do bad things happen to good people why are you holding me back from what I want why can't I go to the party why can't I hang out with the friends why can't I buy that why can't I have unfettered access to the internet in my room late at night with the door closed why can't you don't love me you hate me you don't want me to be happy why do you deny and deprive me and a parent realizes and recognizes you have no idea how much I love you if I didn't love you I would just let you do whatever you want because I don't have the energy and patience to fight with you it's because I love you that I put these boundaries it's because I love you that I say no so only a parent who's had to endure that exercise that process and knows that it comes from love not hate and though it feels to the child from their limited immature unsophisticated perspective feels like a punishment when really it's a reward feels like it hurts when really it's helping so then we can understand now we have a father in heaven and sometimes you say a sham why don't you love me why are you denying me pleasure why are you causing me pain and he looks down he says my kinder my child you don't understand you will maybe one day that everything I do is from love not for pain everything I do is for your good not to harm you so each of these relationships bring with it a different each of these relationships bring with it a different component of how we understand a sham so which is the highest and the holiest says all of Kodesh but is is the holy of holies the holiest relationship we strive for the most authentic the most meaningful the highest the one that we seek to achieve is the relationship of a of a husband and a wife a man and a woman who are longing and lusting who crave to be together to connect to be intimate emotionally physically and in every which way and that's the we're supposed to feel for a sham I can't wait to talk to you I can't wait to talk to you can't wait to fill you in I can't wait to feel or hear you talking to me I can't wait to spend time alone I can't wait to unburden myself I can't wait to share and let you in in ways I don't anyone else there's a relationship there's a romance there's an electricity there's something more than just a list of do's and don'ts the road to run and to pursue and to be drawn to holiness like someone pursues something that you want so badly until all you do is talk about God you speak and praise and all you do is want to involve yourself in his words and learning and growing and gaining there's a delight there's an enjoyment can we show all of this like a somebody falling in love you know it's nauseating when you're around somebody who fell in love it's absolutely and totally nauseating they have this like glow and their heads in the clouds and all they do is talk about the other person and all the annoying things about the other person they see as adorable idiosyncrasies and they just want to talk to you about them and they just love them and they just can't bear that they're separated from them I have a couple kids in that state I love it it should just continue and anyone who has children they want to get married or trying to get married should know or feel that but you know as the courtship continues and you're ready to get engaged and you get engaged you can't bear to be apart and it's so hard and when will I see them and now we put it's a new modern invention and I tell you how many hours you can speak how many hours you can see each other, how do we regulate that relationship in that period of engagement? So, there's this I missed him and I want to be with him and aren't they amazing and aren't they adorable? Isn't it so cute? And I can't wait and you're like, I'm going to start Give me a vomit bag. So, that's what we're supposed to feel for Hashem. What that cute couple feel in their courtship and falling in love until we're nauseous from the way that they talk about one another and the googly eyes they make to one another and the longing they have to one another and the countdown to the wedding they have, that's what we're supposed to feel for Hashem. I can't wait for my next private time to unburden, to confide, to share. I can't wait to feel, to sing, to be lifted. Can't wait for that next tish to farbrengen the shul shul dish, the next oneg. Can't wait to feel I'm with you. That longing, that love, that desire, that energy. Or like you have one child and you waited for that child and that child is here and you just can't get enough of that child. Child is always and forever by your side holding your hand, always wherever you go, on your mind, can't stop thinking. That's the feeling we're supposed to have. That's the ava, the love. There's a love. We're supposed to love Hashem. Hashem loves us. Other religions stole that from us. It's our bumper sticker even if they took it. Hashem loves us and we're meant to love him and while yes, our religion is one of action because action is how we express that emotion, but it shouldn't be action that is bereft of emotion. There has to be that longing and that sense. To be a chossid is not just to put check, check, check, to fill in shacharis good, daf, now finally I can go on and do the things I enjoy. It's not supposed to be a checklist. It's supposed to be a passionate love affair. We'll pick up with this next week. 8:45 living with tonight 9:00 we'll go behind the bema with Eli Mansour. Stay happy, stay holy, stay healthy.