Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 111): Abstinence - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning in boca tova and welcome back to our weekly 10 minutes of meaning 10 minutes to a better you if we follow the formula of the formula from shakhim lutzatto towards self-perfection towards growth self-awareness towards being able to become the best version of ourselves today's day of learning is sponsored by ronan dr sidcon in honor of the birth of the granddaughter zava kaplan daughter of alisson captain sister divora big mazel tov our 10 minutes of mini series it's sponsored by dear friends kanyelani grunstein in memory of her beloved father mr aaron taranbor aaron ben yitzchak who's nisha mashadhav and aliyah this morning we have the privilege of beginning the thirteenth chapter parikh yudhimal of messiah's been following the formula tried true and tested a formula to how to be the best version of ourselves a formula that began with zehirus how to live a life of mindfulness and cautiousness how to be present and aware in all of our thoughts and all of our actions in all of our speech the one then we moved to a life of zurichus alacrity zeal how to pursue goals you know where this week is the gregorian new year the secular new year and we know the secular new year is really characterized by new year's resolutions all around us countless people will make resolutions they'll make promises to themselves and others about how they'll be different about their behavior they're going to conquer their alter ego they're going to conquer their eating habits and their exercise you know the biggest beneficiary of new year's resolutions is the gyms whose membership spikes in january people pay for the year they come a couple times and they never come back and why is that we've shared so many times the holy piazzner says because people have wishes they're not making resolutions it's a wish to say i'm going to start going to the gym three times a week it's a wish to say i'm going to wake up and be thin i'm going to wake up and be calm i'm going to wake up and be happy i'm going to wake up and be successful those are wishes they're not resolutions you have to set a goal and make a resolution you have to have a strategy and it includes both the aseto what am i going to actively do but also the sumaira what have been dependent what are going to be the impediments what's going to try to block me what's going to prevent me from achieving that stated goal from getting to the destination that i want to arrive at so the heroes is the mindfulness as reasons is the alacrity and nikias was moving from the battleground to the conquered territory to master different aspects and components of our medos of our behavior regulating ourselves and now we move over to parachute gimmel but they are me desapricious let's begin to define the virtue of precious precious is abstinence now lest you think we are a religion of asceticism a religion that promotes or endorses abstinence as if there is a value from withdrawing there's a value from withholding from ourselves pleasures that's not what precious is let's carefully define it that precious abstinence is the first step towards hasidus now it doesn't mean it's the first step towards growing a long beard in paius and putting a furry hat on your head when the who's writing several centuries ago and before hasidahs began that precious that living a life of mastery of abstinence is how we achieve this he's not talking about the movement he's talking about piety how can you become a truly pious person how can you become a truly virtuous person everything we talked about until now mastering these other qualities of mindfulness and alacrity and purity those are all part of what it means to be at sadiq at sadiq is a righteous person at sadiq does that which is sedek which is sadok which is sadiq which is correct which is right which is just a hasid is above and beyond a husset is doing more than what is just demanded of them strives ah spiritual ambition a person who wants piety is looking to live a transcendent life not just in the here and now not just part of this world not just getting away with the minimum of what we need to do that person is trying to live in an alternative universe even within this universe so abstinence is to piety what vigilance is to alacrity namely zebesur mera zeba asetov two qualities we have one is to avoid the negative so again i want to get my health and wellness in order i have to cut out the potato chips and the corn chips i have to cut out the midnight binging i have to cut out the overeating that's the surme ra the asetov i gotta schedule some exercise i gotta go for a walk every now and then i've gotta replace the unhealthy diet with a truly nutritional one is the asetov and that's true in every area of our lives that we're working on there's super mario what are the triggers that make me lose my cool and get angry what are the things that make me envious and jealous of others what is it that will make me gossip or sleep in or be lazy and procrastinate that's the surme ra gotta remove the triggers avoid the negative but i say tov i have to adopt positive patterns of behavior as well zehirus avoid the negative zurizas go pursue asetov with with tremendous alacrity so similarly precious and qasidas precious is how do i avoid surmera how do i avoid those things owning me instead of my owning them do you know how i can prove however nice my car my house my clothing my jewelry my ornaments my my food whatever however nice my things you know how i can avoid their owning me instead of my owning them when i can prove i can live without them if i can live without them then i'm entitled to live with them but if i haven't proven that i can live without them if they define me if i need them if i can't find happiness without them then i can't have them mera i have to not be owned by them i have to not be subservient to them i have to not be oppressed by them but i have to be free free from them and then i say tof now how do i pursue piety what does a life look like what is the life where i go to sleep at night and say today i wasn't just at sadiq or didn't just try to be it's attic i didn't only get away with what's right i went and i stretched and i was striving for something even more i was going for something higher or bigger vine precious the principle of preachers of abstinence is what our rabbi said the gemaran of kadesh that a person needs to sanctify themselves with that which is permissible in other words i'm not allowed to eat non-kosher food i don't sanctify myself by not eating not kosher that's the law that's the expectation that's what i'm obligated that's what's incumbent on me but kadesh how do i become truly holy even the things that are permissible to me so kosher food but eaten in the wrong ratio or proportion or the wrong quantity or at the wrong times or over indulging kadesh atmacha you know what i'm allowed to have that and i wouldn't do anything terrible for me but i don't want to indulge i want to practice precious i want to perfect within myself the ability to regulate and to grow the rivet the great uh spiritual intellectual uh adversary of the rambam the rivet had a famous tightness he had a fast we called the tinus arrived what the rival would do is every time he ate he would leave over the last morsels of food on his plate and you'll say well isn't that baltastras what a waste children of holocaust survivor survivors what do you mean you're going to throw out the last bite you're going to throw out the last morsel so the arrival would say that's not a waste at all because what are you achieving by doing that what you're learning and what you're achieving is self-regulation self-control precious there's no rule there's no law there's nothing governing that you can't take the last bite you can't finish and lick the plate if the food is kosher it's not a fast day you made a bracha you share with others lick the plate who says you can't have it all kadesh practice precious live with a certain abstinence a certain transcendence a certain capacity to be able to prove we could live without and that's how we grow visual attack and this is the meaning of the word itself precious rosalomar it means sanctify abstinence the word abstinence is to abstain abstain and distance from something to deny hanus even though it's permissible i'm not doing it. and there are many reasons one would do that why would you adapt even beyond what's expected it's hard enough to do the rules themselves it's hard enough to meet the expectations it's hard enough to follow what's what's being placed upon us we're adopting even more we're going even further and farther we're taking on extra and the answer is the bare minimum is what defines the baseline the foundation of the relationship taking on the more is how we grow it's how we improve it's how we come closer to perfection and we do it in order to avoid the issue we do it in order to avoid god forbid flirting with the lion of that which is actually prohibited but we also do it because we realize the best version of ourselves anything that could have a hint anything that could have a seed of negative in it negative because it's technically absolutely forbidden or negative because it could compromise and corrupt my person my personality my my uh my lifestyle i have to be able to learn to live without this bona veteran madrigals we're going to get into we'll pick up next week that there are three levels the actual prohibitions the restrictions and then voluntary we'll talk about the three levels we'll give some examples and we'll define what are we trying to do you know we're living in a society which indulges it indulges our impulse our instinct our desires we live in a disposable society we need to exchange and upgrade our car our phone some people their spouse god forbid but people it's a disposable society and we have this impulse when we give into it precious is to conquer the impulse to transcend to say you know what i don't need it i could live without it it doesn't define me it means precious doesn't have to be lived all the time but when one lives it then one able to go back to having the things in life one was abstaining from we'll pick up with it next week 8 45 come with us on living with emunah on our youtube channel please subscribe and eight and nine o'clock tonight we're going behind the beam with jay feinberg founder and ceo of gift of life registry one of my personal heroes a really extraordinary person nine o'clock tonight until then stay happy stay healthy and stay holy