Ten Minutes of Meaning (Part 104): Envy is Unbecoming - Mesillas Yesharim

good morning everyone and welcome back to our weekly 10 minutes of meeting where we tap into the Brilliance the vision the wisdom of the great Ram hisus gives us a pathway towards trying to perfect ourselves to live our best lives yet want to thank our sponsors of the series KH Len grinstein in memory of her beloved father Mr Aron Tambour Aron Ben yit and a special thank you toe Lupin Mike Lupin for sponsoring this morning's particular in 's father my good friend Mas should have a quick speedy and painless we are in the middle of the 11th chapter the chapter of nikus and we are learning all about how to cleanse how to purge ourselves from those qualities those behaviors those choices which sabotage our success sabotage our happiness sabotage our well-being uh we struggle with thinking and doing and looking and saying and listening to the right thing but if we can cultivate if we can habituate ourselves to make the right choice choices to acquire the best habits then we can become the best version of ourselves and the ram has been going through one by one each of these different qualities and trying to AC trying to get us to uh trying to get us to move from what we call the column of the battlefield to the area of conquered territory and we've been spending our time most recently on the area of Envy jealousy the prohibition of expressing a sense of Envy or jealousy and then has developed that there are different levels and different layers of En or jealousy there are the people where the Envy consumes them it destroys them it absolutely compromises and corrupts them and then there is an Envy Which is less pernicious less dangerous a stronger reaction will occur if one's fellow Craftsman meets with success every Craftsman dislikes his peer the tells us that there's a healthy dose of competitiveness that naturally is part of our human psyche and when we see a competitor ours succeeding we think they succeed at our expense we think that there's not enough for all of us and so we're filled with a sense of Envy or a sense of jealousy a sense of unhealthy competitiveness we want market share and we don't realize that there can be a win-win that God Almighty the reona Shalom can provide for both of us can provide for all of us and there need not be any sense of Envy jealousy competitiveness and certainly not any ruthlessness if you see your compe who is in fact succeeding even more than you now why is that so egregious to be so highly competitive in business that it turns you ruthless that you're jealous and envious that it clouds your judgment that it brings out the worst in you is not only a violation between man and man it's not only a violation between person and person but in fact it's a violation in your very relationship with the almighty it reflects a corrupt sense of faith and that's what continues with we have to know our rabbis tell us in the in 38b rabbis tell us that a person cannot touch even a her's breath of what is dedicated allocated for someone else if you are meant to make a million dollars there's nothing I can do to take away from that if you're meant to make $220,000 there's nothing I can do to take or add to that K the almighty has determined what each of us need deserve what we have coming our job is to take our initiative our job is to work hard our job is to do all we can to succeed in the path in the lane that is established for us don't go out of your lane don't look at the lane others are in don't see how fast or slow they're driving stay in your lane we have a lane in life here's my job here's my effort here's my initiative and hopefully God has allocated for me enough that will make me happy hopefully it meets my expectations in life but if you go out of your lane and you start comparing and it's not only true in the world of the physical it's not only true in the world of gmas it's true in the world of Ras don't leave your lane don't start to look at other people don't compare yourself you can only be brought down you'll only compete in a way which will make you insecure or unhappy or push you to levels that you're not yet ready for in which you'll implode and collapse everyone is meant to stay in their landish writes in his wonderful work he says you know if you really have faith in God if you really believe that all he provides is what we need then Not only would you not compete with a competitor Not only would you never be ruthless Not only would you never be envious or jealous you would help that competitor if a competitor moves in across the street and opens the same store as you the same service as you you'd go over and you'd welcome them and you'd say here's my Rolodex can I help you can I make any introductions do you need anything for me to teach you about the industry here if a person really felt I have faith in God he provides for me you're not worried about how well or poorly anyone else is doing Hashem has enough to provide for all and you never know where it's going to come from and to be magnanimous to be generous to help others is the greatest expression not only of kindness towards other people but it's the greatest expression of faith in Hashem that we believe he provides according to what we need a couple years ago I I wrote an article on a story I'd seen in Brooklyn where a Jewish owner of a fish store I think the store burned down and a competitor a block away invited that fish operator to open a fish store within his fish store they had competing fish stores in the same fish store in fact he got an award from the Brooklyn counsel for his generosity and I said that is a beautiful fulfillment expression of the kisha's Insight that if you really have faith in God and if you're really a kind and good person then you're not ruthlessly competitive then you're not envious or jealous then you're not trying to take away from someone else or you feel that if they succeed it takes away from you in fact the opposite you're willing to go to step up to help you're willing to to step in because they can't take away nobody can touch so much as a penny a hairs breath of what's allocated for us if a person would really internalize that everything that we have and everything we are meant to have comes from above comes from God and is a reflection of what's best for us and what we're worthy of then there would never be room to notice what someone else has let alone feel jealous or envious were to compete with them that's our God blessed AB with everything and that sense of B that AB had he gave to Y and Y gave it to yov when Yakov and asov reunite these two brothers and as yob says no bro what's going on how are you doing what's happening and he says yes I've got a lot I'm doing well I'm on the for 400 but I'm number 400 yes I have a lot and Yakov turns to him ASA says to him Yakov hey bro how you doing and he says yes how am I doing I have everything I have health I have children I have a roof over my head I have what I need whatever I have by definition is what I meant to have and therefore always yes now we should be ambitious and strive and aspire to have more to succeed more but whatever we have yes I have everything and that's what we say in our benching after we eat bread and we recite the we say Co we ask Hashem to give us that sense that attitude of coal yes go work hard strive be ambitious do better set goals 100% of course I believe in that in my life and in yours but when all said and done when the results come in Cole I have everything whatever I have is what I meant to have stay in our lane don't look to the next Lane what you have is what you're meant to have I'm not jealous I'm not envious I'm not competing and I certainly will never be ruthless this is what the prophet tells us about the future in order to enable the Jewish people to attain all the good that we were promised in order to achieve all the good you want happiness you want peace you want Serenity you want to feel blessed you want the true richness of life then you must Purge from your heart H get this repulsive get this despicable quality out of your heart what's the quality we're trying to purge the quality of jealousy and envy of looking a scance at what others have of having an ion ra of O being jealous and always always wishing poorly on the other always wishing and thinking we deserve it you heard someone else is making a wonderful I'm happy for them someone else got a new house amazing someone else won the lottery fantastic someone else has wonderful marriage Shalom bias has great NAS from their children isn't that amazing I want it too I'm going to work hard to get it but not at the expense of someone else or the fact that they have it is not coming at my expense stay in your lane what do you have to do with the other in the prophecy that is foretelling the future the nah says Isaiah says that in the future epim and Yehuda be jealous of one another they won't have Envy they won't cause one another to suffer that Brothers will be able to work in harmony they'll be able to be happy for one another genuinely genuinely tap into the Sim of the other they'll be able to Forin one another to really be happy for another person that's what we strive for that's something we can achieve much of the M description this quality of Nikas of purging these unhealthy character traits they're really hard and I don't want to suggest that this isn't hard but it's achievable it's really achievable it takes mindfulness it takes being present in how we react when we hear someone else has good news it takes being present and when we see someone else's success stop yourself don't compare yourself their success has nothing to do with you not everything has to do with us be happy for them for their success forg again the other person for their Joy tap into their joy and it doesn't have to be about you it can motivate you beautiful be motivated it's wonderful be motivated in a beautiful way competitiveness can be good can i s from it brings greater wisdom if the competitiveness is not at the expense of the other but it's pushing me to be better that's a fantastic competitiveness but a competitiveness which undermines Harmony and Tranquility it will be an obstacle to our own happiness and success our own relationships and it'll be an obstacle to getting to the place in the future that Isaiah the isah prophesizes he describes if we want to break through if we want to have a sense of redemption we need to learn to live in harmony and at the core of learning to live in harmony is having an eye in TOA a good eye an eye that sees the good in others and an eye that's happy for the good and the success in others we'll pick up with us please guide next time wishing everyone a wonderful day 8:45 come back for living with amuna and nine o'clock tonight as always we go behind the beima stay happy stay healthy and stay holy