Tanya (Part 20)

Morning. Good morning, Booker. Welcome back to 10 minutes of meaning. With tremendous gratitude to our dear friends Michael and Marilyn Fedek for sponsoring 10 minutes of meeting. Please help yourself to coffee slushy pastry corner and enjoy our 10 minutes or so approximately 10 minutes of Tanya. And today we are beginning peral, the fourth per of Tanya Bar. Hashem Allen is back incomplete without him. His is here. So it's good to have you back. We've been describing the different parts not really parts of souls. We've really been describing the different part the different parts of ourselves which are the multiple souls that we have the neph instinct the animal impulse the animal drive the animal temptation that which we have in common with animals which again the balata was mad that our goal is not to she or destroy or purge or eliminate our goal is to train and our goal is to elevate. Is an animal good or bad? The answer is it depends. If you let it run wild if it's destructive an animal's bad. If you train it and it serves a purpose, it can help you plow your field. It can protect your family. An animal is good. The animal in us is neither good or bad. It needs to be trained and elevated in order to serve us. And then of course the essence of who we are. And back in the balos based on the 10 spheros. There are 10 spheros. A little above me. It's another way of saying a lot above me. Not for now. There are the 10 spheros, but they manifest themselves as the 10 Binos. What is a Bakina? It means that a person has within them their unique personality, paradigm, perspective, what we call colloquially the root and the essence of our soul. What speaks to your shama? It means not how you perform for the world, not what you wear and let the world see, not the external manifestation of who you are, but the sha the essence and essential of who you are. Those are the binos, the 10 binos. They're made up within the spheros. We saw at the beginning of of perk gimmel, I think it was. We saw that there are made up of the three emos and the fulos which make up the 10os that are in a person. All that's a background to perk daled and with that we begin perk dal and what perkal the bal is trying to help us understand is where do our thoughts fit in I know that when I speak to you that's external to me. What I choose to articulate, what I choose to put into words, what I choose to communicate is how I'm choosing to let you know me. That's external manifestation of me. Those are speech action as well. How I act, how I behave, what is my brand? We gave a shabasha dasha once about you are what you do. Who cares what you want to do? You are what you do. You are don't tell me what you want to do. Don't tell me what you believe. What you do is who you are. So what we do is what we're choosing to express to manifest is external. Where do thoughts fit in the thoughts that we have the conversation we have with ourselves? Another shabasha dasha we gave was about our relationship with ourselves and we began that science and research shows that people say I think it was between three and four million words to themselves a day. The conversation with ourselves from when we wake up in the morning. Should I hit snooze? Should I not hit snooze? Stay in bed. Wake up. Which minion should I go to? Wear this. wear that, come on time, be late, react this way, not react this way. The inner conversation with ourselves, we speak more to ourselves than everyone else we speak to combined. There's an ongoing conversation with ourselves. So those thoughts, that ongoing conversation, eat this, react that way, go there, do this, watch that, wake up, snooze, sleep in, be on time, run late. The thoughts, the thoughts you're having right now as I'm speaking where you're processing what I'm saying. Is he a What is he talking about? Is he right? I never thought of that. I wish he would end already. He hasn't even started. He claims that we're learning Tanya. He hasn't read one word. Whatever the thoughts that you're having right now, where would you characterize those? Are they part of your inner world or outer world? Are they the sha the thoughts or are they like speech and action? How you manifest to the world? Where do you put thoughts? It's a powerful question. It's an interesting question. If we don't have self-awareness, if we don't ask and think about that question, if we don't try to regulate and be mindful of our thoughts, then who are we really? So, I know we haven't started yet, but we really have said everything that this is the question that the Balatan is getting to in Dal I would humbly submit and suggest to you and the of the is that he says that those inner thoughts in fact are where do they belong? How are they characterized? They're part of the lavush. They're part of the lavush. They're not the inner world. They're the outer world. Every divine soul possesses three garments. In other words, the of who you are. You're pure, unadulterated, innocent, the essence of who you are, a manifestation, an expression unique and distinct of Hashem in this world. It has three garments that it wears. What are these three garments? Every thought, spoken word or deed devoted to are in fact are in fact external. They're external. We have two souls. The animal soul is self-oriented. We're going to get into that. Shabas little previous spoiler alert. The Shabbash is about the ego. Ego. I haven't decided yet if the title is ego is the enemy or is ego the enemy. And the reason I haven't decided is because the Tanya is confusing me. Ego seems to be categorically bad. Ego interferes in our relationships with others, with Hashem, with ourselves. Ego gets in the way and sabotages so much personally, professionally. And yet maybe it's is ego the enemy because can you train ego? Is the ego part of the animal soul or is the ego a healthy ego in a sense of self part of the godly soul? So can the ego be trained to serve you? Is ego bad or can ego be good? Stay tuned. Move to bokeh in time for shabasha. Anyway, so is one of the thoughts that we have is one of the garments that we wear. When a person practically observes all the action related mitzvah, speech is easy and obvious. Right now we're speaking out Torah. Right now we're learning Torah. So speech tora that's obvious manifestation of and in thought in thought you immerse yourself through whatever you can grasp at whatever level of parades four levels of understanding the same Torah text whichever you can grasp whichever speaks to you wherever you lose yourself in thought that thought also is a of the it isn't the Torah and your whole divine soul including 613 subcomponents is dressed through the garments of action, speech and thought in the 613 mitz of Torah. Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. We got to unpack the clothing. If these are the clothing, we got to unpack the clothing. So there's a lot to unpack here. So first of all when the balat talks about each of us have connection to the tarag to 613 and through each of us can manifest experience identify with connect the what does he mean I'm not a cohen I'm not brand I'm not alen burger I don't want to miss any I'm not a y I don't want to miss any other co I'm not a cohen I can't serve in the b mikdash I can't den I'm not a cohen there is no bas mikdash even the coing can I'm not this category that category I hope to never fulfill in my lifetime I hope to never ever fulfill the mitzvah of of gay of getting divorced I hope to never fulfill mitzvah of there are many mitzvah that we don't do so what does it mean when we talk about so that the commentaries on explain and point out not only on it's a bigger broader idea that that's when we connect when we collaborate and complement one another collectively we can fulfill you live in Israel Mitsali it's outside of Israel one person can't fulfill ally. That's by design. That's not only by circumstance. It's not only a concession. Oh, there's no B mikdash. Oh, there's no this. Oh, there's no that. No. Even when you had everything, no one person could do it all because you can't fit every category. >> When we combine, when we unite, when we complement, when we see ourselves as different limbs and organs of one body, the left arm doesn't say I can't do it. The right arm's doing it. The left arm says we are doing it. Because the right arm and left arm are part of the same body. So when you see yourself as part of and connected with the totality and the collection and the community of Israel then we our whole body of its different limbs and organs we are capable of connecting and fulfilling. Others say what does the rebba mean and what do we mean when we talk about all of us connecting to what we mean is when we learn when we learn about each mitzvah even if we can't perform it even if we're not in the category we don't have the criteria to perform it or fulfill it when we speak about it when we learn it when we connect with it right there's a mitzvah of a meal the meal has to have two the mel can't have too much this only one per how many people in all of history fulfilled the mitzvah of the melik but if you realize that I also have I'm also a king. I'm a king of my domain. I'm a king of my home. I'm a king of my life. Nobody crowned me as king. Not not not the guy again we'll talk about that shabashuva. Not not the gya of a king but the the anivas of a king. I have the responsibility. I have the mission of a king. Then then okay what I learn and extract and extrapolate about the laws of the king they apply to me too. So however you want to explain the balan the is saying the 613. But I want to go back to the notion of the garment of the garment because here I think does another phenomenal job of explaining again we discussed in the beginning of perakeim the 10os of the soul the three mothers and the seven multiples corresponding to the 10 spheros. We'll leave that aside. I'll pretend because we don't have time now and you'll indulge me to believe that the reason is because we don't have time now but also because I'm not really holding in the spheros. But in any case, the garments are the means through which the soul expresses itself. Right? Like the clothes that a person wears in order to relate to other people. The metaphor of garments stresses the dual nature of every manifestation. To manifest is both to reveal and to conceal. Think about it. Well, you woke up this morning and in that inner conversation we talked about you chose what to wear. You chose what to wear. When you chose what to wear, what garment to put on, you were both revealing and concealing at the same time. How the garment facilitates a person's revelation of himself to others. Without your garments, you wouldn't be showing yourself. You'd be showing too much of yourself, but you wouldn't be showing your personality. What you're wearing right now, you know, which style, which fashion, which community, are you casual? Are you formal? Are you fancy? Are you not fancy? Are you wearing colored? Are you wearing black and white? Who do you want to connect with? So much what we choose to what we wear is the uniform. Yet at the same time it conceals the wearer for one sees not the person but the garments. So the garment is both covering you and concealing you and it's also revealing you. Deep. No. Another aspect of the analogy is this is the synonym between the person and his clothes. The fact that the clothes mirror the person. The clothes are external to the person but they duplicate the character of the wearer. So unlike the tikkun, the lvushim constitute the outer expressions of the soul and are distinct from it. The soul is the choice whether to dress itself in them or not. Just as a person can clothe himself in a garment or remove it without affecting any change in himself. Whether you put on that clothing or don't put on that clothing, it doesn't change the essence of who you are. Who you are without clothing is not changed by what you wear. By what you wear. Even if you're putting on Spanx, it's just changing how others see you. But it's not actually changing what's under the Spanx. Talking to a group of men, you don't know what it is. But >> doesn't it say clothes? >> Yes. The big day. There's a whole Torah about the clothing. And the clothing make the man, the uniform we identify with, and how we treat and take care of our clothing. Yes. And and what we wear, that's the revealing part of what we wear. clothing make the man in the sense that you are revealing through the uniform you're choosing to wear. I once had a neighbor before I lived in the home I'm living in now. I lived in a different house in a different uh subsection of our beautiful Mononttoya circle community and I had a neighbor Boo was very different at the time. Onto circle was very different at the time. I had a neighbor lived across the street Jewish and not observant but a beautiful holy soul. She had lots of tattoos and piercings and dressed in very funky ways. And she surrounded herself with friends like that. And um you know we interacted and we invited and wanted to have over and to you know create a connection our shamas to to connect and I and she and her family and and she would reference that her appearance was because she's an individual. She's an individual. She's not going to conform to society. You know I'm talking about those huge earrings that change the shape of your earlo. She's not going to conform to society. She's an individual. Then she made a birthday party for her child and all her friends came over and I saw all her friends were non-conforming individuals exactly like her and I realized she's also conforming just to a different society. >> So we're all con even the nonconformists who are trying to be individuals are part of and wearing the uniform of the individual non-conforming society. But we're all con. So that's the uniform the clothing make the person we used to be able to say man. They make the man the person in the sense that we are revealing our uniform. We're revealing our uniform, but they're also concealing because sometimes it can throw you off. You look like in Israel, they used to call that a cremebo. What was a cremebo? Anyone ever read a krembo in Israel? Krembo is black on the outside and white on the inside. So someone who dresses like yeshivish on the outside but when you get to know them and it turns out they're hashkafas on the inside. So they they label such a person a kremble. On the outside you look one way but ah we start to talk you see who you are a little bit different a little surprising a little nonpredictable a little non-predictable on the inside. So the role of clothing here is talking the speech is the clothing means what I'm saying is what I'm letting you know about me. It's revealing. I'm saying something. It's what I want you to know of me but it's concealing. You're not getting to the essence of me. My actions are revealing through my actions. That's my brand. You get to know who I am. What I do is who I am. But I'm also concealing because what am I holding back? What am I not doing? The big I guess we'll pick up with it next time because he expands it here in paral is where does thought fit in? Where does fit in? Because you don't get access to the thoughts are inner conversation with myself. And I would have thought that is a of the sh the thought the conversation I'm having with myself is my soul and the alterb is saying way ahead of his time in understanding mental health and IFS and inner talk and all the things that we're doing now the already the alterb already here in getting to is that thoughts also are part of the outer world the thoughts that come to us the thoughts that are generated in us but they're not necessarily us they're all kinds of unhealthy thoughts. People have anxiety and worry, insecurity, self-doubt, unworthiness. There are kinds of thoughts that people have that are drives and temptations to do grossly inappropriate things. Those thoughts are also external to us and we can regulate them and we can control them and we're in charge of them and we can decide which ones we let in. Thought also is part of the lavush. It's a garment. You put on the garment, you can take off the garment and you choose which garment to wear, what to reveal and what to conceal. And thought belongs in the category of the garment, not of the essence of the shama very powerful and very empowering because it's incredibly empowering to our interaction with those thoughts. Until now I would have thought I would have thought until now I would have said I can't control and people do say I can't I can't control the thoughts I have I can't control can't it's my nature it's my essence it's who I am I can't control my thoughts who said who said we can't control who said we can't learn to condition who can't said we can't channel and we can't train our thoughts and our thinking we can when we realize that they're a garment that they're external if they're internal and my essence my I can seed, I surrender. I can't control them. But when I realize they're a garment I wear, I put on, I take off, I I I reveal, I conceal. Now, if it's a garment, I'm in control. It's not only powerful, it's incredibly empowering. And what that means and where we go with it, we'll talk about it a little bit. This moes Shabas again, if you're in Bokeh, it's not being streamed and it's not being recorded. But Dr. Dr. Mosha Wiggrad and I a therapist and a rabbi are having an honest conversation for men before on masculinity, vulnerability and temptation. So much of a problem of men today in today's world is that the world is forcing us, encouraging us, requiring us to perform. Many men are wearing a lot of garments. They're living a performative life. what I'm supposed to say, how I'm supposed to appear, what I'm supposed to do, and they're not willing to be vulnerable and true. So, and what happens when you bottle and you're not vulnerable and you're not honest and you're not in your essence, when you're living a performative life is eventually it bubbles up and expresses itself in unhealthy ways, acting out in unhealthy ways, substances that are unhealthy, reacting in unhealthy ways. And if we can learn that masculinity is actually vulnerability, it will help us overcome temptation. We're going to have a conversation motas 10:15 p.m. with pizza here at Boker before. So we'll get into that where what role the thoughts play in that. Where do thoughts fit in with that? It's a brilliant insight of the alternos.