Sit Down and Grow Up: Introduction to Eicha and Eicha 5783

it's difficult to transition it's difficult to go from a regular weake day the hustle and the bustle with working and being productive to transform our mindset to gather to sit on the floor and to feel the pain to feel the loss and to feel the anguish of a people in a history of a past and for too many a present that is filled with so many tears so to help us to help set that mood to help us get us into that place before we share a few words let's sing together let's grow together let's mourn together let's grieve together let's be moved to feel together [Music] this is [Music] this is [Music] of [Music] this [Music] join with our brothers and sisters around the world in the hope of that if we grieve together if we mourn together if we cry together be to dance together and to sing together and to celebrate together [Music] J you [Music] GL [Music] the [Music] my friends tonight yet again for another year we find ourselves sitting on the ground pausing in our lives to reflect to think about the pain and the sorrow the loss and the there it's destruction devation so many that were gathered M so many losses and so much destruction and so much Devastation throughout our history the national calamities of course the destruction of the TU mikdash with all the significance of what that means but it's also the Inquisition and the Crusades and the pums and the expulsions and the systematic attempt to exterminate us it's also the terror and it's also the tragedy so tonight we sit here we sit here to cry to cry for theban butb is not about a building destruction is not just large massive numbers and Collective National Calamity hban is every Every Soul I don't have to tell all of you that for our community tishu came early seven months agoat when we our community CL saw the world and most of all the Moscow its family lost pilas the special amazing n old estey sweet pure kind and innocent smart fun who amuna whose faith and resilience and positivity were so far well beyond her years and there's not a day that goes by that we don't think about EST that we our community our family doesn't feel the pain of the MOs who three weeks and nine days in Tish this period of time doesn't end for them tomorrow night but that that devastating devastating loss that empty seat at their table that empty place in their car that empty room and bed in their home that empty place in all of our hearts that of her loss every day is Tisha for them and by extension for uson devastating destruction and loss every Nish every individual we're only halfway through 2023 and how many pure innocent Souls were murdered in Israel due to acts of Terror June 20th ofer fireman Alisha an mov gone down at a gas station May 30th tamari shot while driving on a Road near his home Ines May 11th inan killed from a rocket from Gaza inov April 7th such a tragic day p a family and two cars coming back from a to you celebrating the joy which are simply living as Jews in our homeland when Lucy D and her daughters Maya and Reno were gun down and killed the these family's life was changed forever alesandro perini that same day killed a terrorist rammed his car into a prominade in Tel Aviv March 9th or eshkar shot by a Palestinian gunman in Tel Aviv February 27th Elon gandas killed by a terrorist on a highway near the Dead Sea February 26 Sal Yaniv and yagel Yaniv Two Brothers From Hara murdered when a gunman opened fire in close range at their car while they were stuck in a traffic jam unable to protect themselves February 10th schom leaderman and two brothers p Brothers six and eight years old yob Isel and Ash murdered by a Palestinian terrorist who rammed his car into them at a y bus stop January 27th ellia Natalie mizi RAF as corova Ilia sansi well at the end of daving on Friday night something we take for granted in this holy space they finish cabala shabas they welcome the shabas queen but that welcome was interrupted by a terrorist to open fire the N Yakov neighborhood killing those seven and you talk about aan aan that wasn't in a moment aan that went on for 22 years when kenberg the niece of one of our members Alice green she was 31 years old on August 9th 2001 which she went with her three-year-old daughter into sparrows to get a slice of pizza a suicide bomber blew himself up killing 15 civilians including seven children and injuring a hundred others but the world had forgotten was that KH KH that day in 2001 was so injured she was in a coma in a coma that lasted for 22 years her three-year-old never knew her mother her parents had to come and take care of her for 22 years no closure no ability to cry for this horum that didn't end no ability to move forward until a couple of months ago when she finally succumbed to those injuries and 22 years later another name was added to the list of sparrow victims daughter's 25 years old today that didn't let up for 22 straight years it's happening in Israel our brothers and sisters maybe in reality or maybe just the hyperbole of the media but a fighting in a conflict in the threats of an impending Civil War that too many enemies are so happy to jump on and to celebrate and to encourage brothers and brothers and sisters and sisters who disagree about something important who the world is interpreting as the brink of a divided Israel that's aan it's aan how many broken and crushed dreams how many you've gone another year without finding their Basher navigating the world with loneliness and with longing and an eagerness to find camaraderie and companionship how many dream of a baby of a child of building a family didn't come true this year or was crushed theban theban of INF fertility theban of miscarriage so many experience in silence without anyone knowing or offering support theban of still birth of carrying a baby all those months for one's body to be ready and prepared to bring that baby into this world instead to hold a lifeless baby in one's arms aan it's unbearable pain there are so many people hurting so so badly there are so many coros not of our own making and that we fought bitterly to avoid and to end and there are the coronos that are self-imposed and that are brought on by bad decisions and by impulsive actions and by Unfaithful decisions and choices relationships that are permanently broken destroyed choices actions that are irreparable with grave consequences that change the trajectory forever of the person who committed them decisions that yield lives that areb that areb and so tonight we sit here on the ground we mourn and we grieve and we cry for Ese and for the de and for the family of kenberg and for way too many others for lives that were rendered coros through no making of their own and through people who have to live with Theon that is of their own creation but my friends those are all reasons those arebos as are results that are about others that is sadness that is brought on by considering theban and the pain of other people's lives but what about us where do we fit in if you're among the fortunate and blessed to have not have experienced a personalan this year other than by extension and empathy for others if nothing that's kurban happened to you and you didn't make aan of your life then how do we tap into and lean into this day how do we feel the pain of this moment why are we sitting here on this ground and I want to suggest to you to me to us that momentarily when we hear with it the words that our grief and our anguish our pain and our sorrow is not only for others but that we taking time a day 25 hours tonight and tomorrow morning to think about to contemplate theban moments and choices of Our Lives you see we live in a world that is increasingly cuddling us that wants us to never feel bad and never beat ourselves up and so everyone tells you it's okay you the you did the best that you could don't worry about it don't be hard on yourself don't beat yourself up it's all right you did your best don't ever feel bad don't feel down and maybe that attitude is true some of the time or even most of the time but not tonight and not tomorrow morning tonight and tomorrow morning feel bad tonight and tomorrow morning we beat ourselves up and we look at the moments and the decisions and the things that we've done that have been hurtful the time that we squandered they can't make up the opportunities that are lost the pieces of ourselves that we killed this year that we murdered by wasting there's not a person in this room who can't look back on the last year since last Tish and say that there wasn't something that hurt their feelings that there wasn't someone who hurt their feelings there's no one in this room who can't say there was someone who spoke to them reacted to them wrote to them made a decision about them interacted with them that hurt their feelings that hurt made them feel bad tonight and tomorrow are not about our feelings they're about realizing that if our feelings have been hurt then unintentionally without malice we've likely hurt the feelings of others as well we're sitting here and we're mourning and grieving all those names that I mentioned all those losses that people we love suffered but we're also mourning and grieving what for us is the greatest personal loss there is and that is the loss of ourselves the Lost moments the Lost Chances The Lost choices the Lost opportunities what moments did we squander what people did we ignore what insensitivity did we show what message or invitation did we fail to return what word did we go back on what gossip did we spread what mlus did we enter or at least we got some Joy from following from afar who are we unfaithful to in our own way by coming late or forgetting or neglecting what trust did we violate by sharing confidences that weren't our own to share who did we cause to feel alone or isolated or ignored we remember and we focus today not on our own hurt but on the hurt that we caused to others tonight as we're honest with ourselves as we think about and take stock of what could have been what relationships could have been enhanced how much time could we have used so much more valuably how many people could we have helped with could we have made what Purity could we have preserved tonight we don't excuse it we don't defend it we don't justify it and we're not interested in making ourselves feel better about it I'm not here tonight to call you and to tell you it's okay you did the best you could don't beat yourself up tonight we beat ourselves up till we'll knock to the ground and and we sit here looking up and looking out and taking stock and taking responsibility and recognizing Theos that we caused what members of our family did we speak to harshly or did we not show enough patience to who did we not include who could we have impacted so positively what did we look at what did we watch where did we go what did we say what Indulgence or Temptation did we give into we hurt other people's feelings we made people feel bad we cost we have to own it we have to genuinely feel bad about it we have to mourn it and grieve it and regret it and then tomorrow after Kos will get up off that floor and it'll be time to repair it to fix it to do better to make it better to be better but it's not that time yet us taught that was destroyed because the small and the great were made equal and the simple understanding is there was no respect for authority there was no respect for greatness there was no respect for there was no respect for people with credentials or life experience or leadership everyone was equal there was cynicism there was no appreciation no hierarchy no deference no respect no and that brings about a but I want to suggest to you this evening as we turn to read that maybe maybe this means something else as well many explain the difference between the word cotton and G cuton is a child you know a child certainly the beginning of their life a child is exclusively focused on themselves their happiness their need their want their timetable baby cries it's hungry and diaper needs to be changed doesn't matter it's the middle of the night doesn't matter if it's inconvenient for the parent and then the infant and the Adolescent and the teenager do more of the same to different degrees but the child the koton koton exclusively sees themselves their ego their self-centeredness their life is centered around their happiness and their want and their pleasure and their need a goodle what does it mean to be a GLE a GLE is to graduate that mindset that perspective of being a cuton a GLE is not about the ego and self-centeredness a GLE makes room and space for others a GLE can care and be sensitive AAL understands the impact of their behavior and their speech and their choice a goodal takes responsibility beyond the self a good doesn't just live the self but lives the thou connects with the other you know Katan says what do I want to wear where do I want to go what do I want to watch what do I want to eat but a G says what does Hashem want from me what is Hashem asking of me what will give Hashem this is a day that we feel not only theban of the damage that we've done to the relationships of the people around us but this is a day that we reflect on theban of what we've done with the relationship with Hashem to feel his pain to identify with his sense of neglect imagine imagine how Hashem feels violated by infidelity and unfaithfulness to him that relationship we had with Hashem got so bad he moved out he leveled our house and he hasn't rebuilt it he hasn't invited us to move back in because we haven't done the work to repair it to make him feel he matters to put him first to be considerate of what he wants just last week just last week a Galla poll showed that Americans belief in God fell to the lowest point in more than two decades fewest Americans believe in God since the pole has been taken you understand what that means that's Tish that's that's fewer and fewer people believe that our father exists more and more people deny that our father is even real they don't take him into account they don't care about his values or priorities they're not invested in a relationship with him they deny he exists all together the world is increasingly becoming Godless fewer believe in God and more are demonstrating their lack of belief in God through their choices and definitions and principles and policies and the question is do we even see that as aan as we're watching the morals of the values of the world around us disintegrate and dissolve do we even see that as a does it bother us are we pained by it on behalf of our very father are we doing anything to fix it are we declaring he exists are we demonstrating he exists are we screaming from the rooftops he exists stop saying these lies about him start being obedient to him do we even see theban of a world that does doesn't believe Hashem exists is real don't be confused between a cuton and a GLE don't buy into a society or culture that says that your happiness is more important than Holiness that it's all that matters it matters most be focused on yourself and your pleasure and your happiness no be a GLE sit on the floor tonight and grow up Tisha screams at us it demands of us it's time to grow up it's time to care about and see others and it's time to care about and see Hashem last year I spoke about mental health before a and I got many emails but I'll close by reading one to you I'm in the middle of watching your Tish of speech and I have tears in my eyes thank you for crying about this topic of depression anxiety for giving a voice to those who feel invisible including myself for years I got sick because of abuse and neglect I always say where is the camp Pasco the high Lifeline for those with invisible illnesses where are the trips and where is the money to pay for the expensive treatments of those with the invisible suffering I know exactly what the writer meant when he prayed he would not wake up in the morning thank you for speaking about it for me every day has a little Tish in it like a migraine it goes away for some time but it comes back and the pain never goes away permanently as we turn to we're not yet ready to get up off the floor tonight we're not cuddling ourselves and convincing ourselves that we do the best that we can that we shouldn't feel bad and not to beat ourselves up tonight we beat ourselves up until we knock ourselves onto the ground and we sit here and we look and we think about the not only theban of that's absent EST Mas Shalom not only a world that's absent so many victims of Terror including one who was lost really 22 years ago but didn't leave this world until just a few months ago we see the coronos that we created of our own making of our poor choices we feel bad for the hurt that we caused for others and for and if we do with then simultaneously a willingness to beat ourselves up and knock ourselves down if it causes up to grow up and later to get up it'll bring the we continue with a [Music] SAR for [Laughter] believe for [Music] Z [Music] I [Music] oh God for [Music] me [Music] when he am [Music] sh for for is [Music] is SC t Al for Al Z Ro [Music] Ro for [Laughter] um for [Music] for forom for [Music] yes [Music] for foron El for [Music] for [Music] for for foron you B [Music] sh Al [Music] l B Al El [Music] a [Music] [Applause] G [Music] spe [Music] for for [Music] for [Music] spe [Music] before we continue with the reading of Kos a reminder of the schedule tomorrow there are three minum tomorrow morning 6:15 7:45 and 9 the 9:00 menu will be accompanied by explanation introduction to Kos it'll be recited all the way until early at 2 p.m. there's a children's tis B program tomorrow 3:30 to 5:30 drop off and pick up at the sh and there are several films being showed at the sh tomorrow 2:30 the foundation video 2:30 The Great Exchange 4:00 the rising stronger six o'clock project Inspire video 7:15 is the second followed by words of by 8:15 Mar the Fest ends at 8:49 a reminder tonight as we take leave throughout Tish all the way until tomorrow night we don't offer greetings one to the other there is no sh Shalom but we are restricted we uh experience what it means to be isolated alone to not greet one another the other details of the laws of TI ofcl in the email that she sent out and the weekly continue with Kos page [Music] for sorry fore page for [Music] for page for for K page [Music] for for for [Music] spee for oh for fore [Music] shom [Music] s song