Putting God on HOLD | Parsha Perspectives | Vayeira 5786

Good morning Bokers. Welcome back to Pasha Perspectives for today. We begin as we always do with an attitude of gratitude. A big thank you to our series sponsors. Our dear friends Becky Navikatz and family in memory of Becky's father. Our learning should be David Gman. This morning she is sponsored by Amanda Lions. Thank you for the weekly learning Mary and for all those affected by the terrible attack in Manchester. We continue to daven. They have a complete and speedy Rafu Schlma and sponsored this morning as well for a happy 50th birthday to our husband and father Martin Cander who's a listener of our shim. 50 is the new 30. 50 is young. 50 is young. So happy 50th birthday should be a year filled with and with we have the privilege of learning this morning paras page 78 in the art scroll stone. And we continue to learn about to learn about his story, the story of the birth of our people and our people's impact on the entire world around us. Hashem, Hashem appeared to Aram in the plains of Mam is sitting at the entrance of his tent and it is the heat of the day. This is a story line that of course we're all familiar with. We know the para and we know these stories following the end of last week's para. Aram at an advanced age underwent a serious surgical procedure. He performed a circumcision of brisma on himself. He's on the recovery. Aram is sitting outside of his tent. And more painful worse than the physical recovery is that feeling of loneliness and the feeling of lacking purpose. He wants to be helping. He wants to be doing. He wants to be hosting. And Hashem had thought he was protecting Aram by making it so hot outside nobody would be passing by. Aram for once would not have to host. But it turns out it was more painful for Aram to be alone than even to host others. Aram is in the middle of a conversation ostensibly. We'll come back in a moment with the Almighty when he interrupts because he raises his eyes and he sees there are three men who are standing over him and so he runs to greet them. Runs runs while in recovery in pain. But again, he doesn't feel the pain. He feels more pain not helping than he does running to assist. He runs in order to greet them. And Rashi Rashi quotes the great rabbis who conclude from here It is greater greater to receive guests than even to have a conversation with Hashem because after all Aram is in the middle of a dialogue with the Almighty. Hashem has come to visit him and he says to Hashem, I used to give the example when saying this verb of call waiting. I don't even think there's call waiting anymore. But he says to Hashem, could you hold on? I'm getting another call. Would you mind holding on? There's someone else trying to get me. Hashem, I'll tell you what. We'll finish this later. I'll find you later. I've got to take care of these three men. It's very counterintuitive. This should smack of blasphemy, of disrespect, of dishonoring Hashem to put Hashem on hold to tell the Almighty, he'll come back to him later to greet mere mortals, to greet mere men. So I wrote in the article that was a hespar a huge loss for Israel a huge loss for me personally of a friend and a mentor he was very fond of saying the following insight that he might have heard someone else told me he might have heard from yakovinberg from his rebi and the insight was you see that hashem doesn't reprimand hashem doesn't express disappointment it's not wrong to put hashem on hold to help others Why? Because given the choice, Hashem says, "I'd rather you be like me, imitate me, then continue to talk to me." If given a choice to be like God or to talk to God, Hashem says, "By all means, put me on hold and take care of your brothers and sisters." To me, if you're talking to one of your children and they say, "I'm getting a call from a sibling. They need me." You don't say, "How disrespectful, call them back later. Continue to talk to me." You say nothing gives me mater greater joy or happiness in the world than the loyalty between my children. Absolutely. Call me later. Your sibling, another one of my children needs your help and you want to go run and help them. You want to demonstrate loyalty to them. By all means, put me on hold. That was our life. Not only talking to Hashem and listening to Hashem talk to him, but imitating and emulating, being like Hashem and caring for each and every Jew with a tremendous aas Hashem. What a great loss. But the commentators point out, let's go to the opening three words of our PK vira Hashem. Who's a love? God appeared to him. Our para begins with a pronoun. God appeared to him. Who's him? Simple understanding is the him. So why not name him? If this were an English essay, you handed it into your teacher and you began the opening sentence of the opening paragraph of this new chapter and God appeared to him. Your teacher would hand it back and say God appeared to whom? To who? List say the name. Why a pronoun? A love. So we'll come back and answer that in a moment. First Sax's introduction to our para. Hashem appears to Aram. Three strangers pass by. Aram engages in a momentous dialogue about justice. Lo with his wife and two of his daughters is rescued from the destruction of stone. Eventually the promised child is born to Sara. The para ends with the great test of the in one paragraph a few sentences sax has summarized this entire incredible para in we saw a accept personal and moral responsibility now we see him accept collective responsibility he dabbs for the inhabitants of stone even though he knows they're sinful on the grounds that they may be innocent righteous people among them they're not his kin not part of his specific covenant with hashem but they're human beings and a feels the imperative of praying even arguing with God on their behalf. A davin for the people of Sto could have written them off. They're evil though wicked. The world would be better off without them. But he uses the power of prayer even to davin for them. I wrote an article last week. I've gotten a lot of feedback more negative than usual where I spoke about what the polls show today where I should all dive in very hard might be anywhere from 20 to 30 even 40 38% of Jews of New York voting for that person. And what should our attitude be? I should have clarified more carefully in the article. I wasn't talking about leaders and leadership. And I wasn't talking about a segment of our Torah community who should know better, who it turns out was a rogue spokesperson and didn't speak on behalf by far of the Satma community who've endorsed Cuomo. But my article was they're fellow Jews and you have to love them. Don't write them off as the 80% who stayed in Egypt. Love them and take our position and fight as anything and advocate and lobby and encourage to make sure the wrong person doesn't get elected. that even those who vote for him, you have to love his fellow Jews. Don't write them off. And I think it's a lesson we learn here from Aram. A stands even for the people, and I'm not likening, but even for the people of Saddam, they're not hopeless and helpless. Aram tries to redeem them and advocate for them and believes he can still turn them around. In contrast to the builders backs, in contrast to the builders of Bavl, he also demonstrates ontological responsibility, the duty of human beings to respond to the otherness and the command of Hashem. This is the basis of the greatest of his trials. His willingness to sacrifice even his son if Hashem so commands. Aram knows that we are but dust and ashes and in the face of the infinite. His task is to obey the will of heaven on earth encapsulated in the words to keep the way of Hashem by doing what is right and what is just. So by sax sees in our para from bracius where cayenne kava sherk responsibility they pass the buck caim sherks responsibility he blames others and he wants to try to remain blameless and the stories go on the generation of the flood and the generation of the tower and they're always the victim and they always play the victim card and they never stand up and take responsibility and what attracts Hashem to Aram what makes a founding father of our people what differentiates ates him is his willingness and his courage to take responsibility. Last week personal responsibility and this week collective moral responsibility and then ontological responsibility which is a fancy way of saying to the command of God a moral and ethical responsibility to not make the rules the way we see fit but to surrender and submit to Hashem and his world and the way that he created things. So let's go back to the question I alluded to. A love, a love is a pronoun, a love, Hashem appeared to him. Who is the himymn that Hashem appeared to? So there's a beautiful book that was put out by my friend Rabb Aaron Goldshider called Torah United and he goes through the para every para he quotes an insight from Rafkuk Salvich and then from diverse kidic masters and what I love is he doesn't just write the essay in English with their idea he then attaches their text so you could see and learn it yourself again I get no royalties this is u pressav tora United Rabbi Goldchshire he has a wonderful hagada as well really a a beautiful contribution. So here in hisidic master section in our para he begins a love if the reference is to a why is his name concealed. So a dove of a was aidic in Europe he refused to publish his his novel on the Torah bas until after his aliyah to where did the basan live? Anyone know? He ventured an answer rooted in while noting that he was preceded by other monumental commentaries in tackling this question. But let's start first with the cleer. Who's the cleer of Schlomma Frank lunett who's the in Prague? When did he live? Early 17th century. It's important to know when we quote people the commentary takes on much more meaning. You know their name. You know where and when they lived. You know the context in which they were commenting. So the clea are accounted for the unusual usage of a love as an emphasis on humility's dearness to Hashem. Aram's name signifies his god-given status as a hamon goim. But at his core, he's nothing but humble. So there's the a is known by his one name. A is as we saw last week, God makes a promise. I'll make your name great. And indeed he did. It's a household name across the globe. The Abraham Accords, the Abraham Accords, Aram. Abraham is a household name. Hashem fulfilled it. But with the popularity and prominence with Aram status as an influencer, you might think it went to his head. You might think Aram thought he was all that. So the Torah specifically says the begins this para that Hashem the Almighty himself came down from the heavens to visit not the Abraham the influencer not the Abraham the famous but a love the humble the modest he who doesn't even need his name he who is not defined by the popularity of his name less people assume that Hashem appears to the movers and shakers of the world. The leaders wielding power and authority. The Arams in name. The Torah writes that Hashem appeared to him to Aram's innermost essence of humility. Hashem is near to those who are humble. It's a beautiful. Don't think whom does Hashem have an audience with? He comes down and appears and he visits the most prominent, the most popular, the most powerful, the most influential, those with the greatest fortune or fame. Ara, Hashem appears a love to the humble and to the modest. It's a commentary both on Aram that it didn't go to his head and of course to Hashem and how he visits and loves each and every one of us. That's the insight. That's the answer of the holy who lived whereas it's fat as well. He was a student of and uh Tam of the great cabalist of Yoseph Ko the author of the shar he suggests a's name is missing because the significance lies not in his new name but in his new person the beginning of par is the continuation of the previous one what happened at the end of last week's para at 99 years of age under goes a transformation signified by what his brisma he has a circumcision and he's transformed beforeand he's an oral he's uncircumcised and through the circumcision he becomes a new man. If every mitzvah elevates a person, imbus them with holiness, then all the more so for brisma that truly transforms his entire being is aligned now with Hashem's will which allows him to receive this pro this prophecy. And therefore, instead of using the name, his old name would just ambiguously describe a love. This is the all new brand new aism a but now he quotes the holy bas writes the following. Why is name concealed as has been asked by many of our holy commentaries? And we can suggest post the brisma is an whose individuality takes up no space. A is now a chariot of Hashem. He is a mission. He's a messenger. He's an agent. his ambassador. His entire life is devoted to being a mirror, namely a reflection of Hashem here on earth. For many of us, we mix in both our identity as agents, ambassadors. We feel we're here on a mission, but we also have some of our own self-interests. We have our own identity. We have our own lives and lifestyle and therefore our own cravings. But an Arab Ainu who is purely and only a mirror of Hashem, a reflection of Hashem. Therefore says the Basian, listen to this incredible insight. Says the Basian a love Hashem. Hashem appeared to himself to the himself in au since Aram was successfully the embodiment and the mirror and the prism of Hashem here on earth. When Hashem appears to him, who's the him? Unlike unlike the and the who say the come up with an explanation of why his name is not used, the says who's the him? none other than before the bris before was complete he still maintained and felt a sense of individuality but after the bris a practices what's called bit he totally surrenders his ego there is no ego like we spoke on shabashuba ego versus elkus he surrenders the ego all there is is this chariot, this conduit of elocus. And therefore, when God comes down and visits him, who is God visiting? Vlo says the bas is none other than Hashem himself. Hashem himself. I got a beautiful relatively new safer adra. Adira was written by my second cousin Ary Gans who lives in Lakewood. He previously wrote another safer um Torah which we've quoted. And because we quoted he was kind enough to actually mention me in the introduction to his newser that he sent. So he has the following on this opening vashm listen he quotes from the the mudash authored by the why is it when a bride and groom stand under a canopy to get married why do they stand under a that's open on four sides? Why stand under a so the mud writes every bride and groom when they walk down that aisle and when they will be wed the bond they will form two halves becoming a whole specifically under that structure it is so that they know that they are continuing the tradition they are in the home of a's tent was open on four sides why because a was always on the lookout. Where are guests? Where are people in need? How can I help? How can I be of service? What can I do to make the world a better place? Yes, young couple. Yes, young couple. You are becoming one. And yes, you're about to enter a period of you're going to isolate and insulate. You're going to combine to be one. And the prerequisite to that some today are struggling with accomplishing it before the two halves become a whole before the wed to become one they're supposed to yo you're no longer primarily or essentially just a child you're not a child being cared for by others you've now become an adult you're now building a home you now have gained a sense of independence you're not dependent But you're independent. Of course, you can still get the help and support and love of your parents, but you should see yourself in a position of growing too. Independence. It's time to not abandon is the wrong word. Yazov, but it's time to identify with independence. No longer cling to and rely on your mother and father. So on the one hand, you're a new entity to have becoming a whole forging your own future. and and it's sha rishona often not hosting or being hosted really spending intense time together and yet the message to this new couple is in this milestone moment what are you standing under you're in the tent of au the home that you're making you better be open on four sides you better call the shul and say are there guests who need a place to sleep or need a meal how can we of service how can we be of help volunteer what can we do how can We join membership. But what can we do? What can we do? [clears throat] There's several things that we're failing to transmit to the next generation. And we need a series man up. Like how do you check the oil in your car? How do you change a flat tire? How do you make sure that you have life insurance and disability insurance? How do you properly grill? How's the proper way to barbecue? These are basic manly activities. How these are basic things that a person needs to know. How could you get married and not know them? And one of them that we're failing to do is say when you're married you move to a community even if you're not married and you benefit and enjoy and eat at the kdish and ask shas and attend the sh and enjoy the air conditioning don't forget to join membership at whatever price you can pay. But that's it for my little editorial comment back to the par. So he writes the zor says the and so on in this wedding under this emanu the tent open on four sides and this is an illusion to that and then he has another quotes from the that we learn from here. Why did he appear to writes this teacher? Why is God here? He's visiting the sick. God came. There's a great virtue and merit in visiting people who are sick. Of course, there's all kinds of is there in your hey, we visit the sick for the benefit of the sick, not for ourselves to feel good. So, you call in advance. You confirm it's a good time. You don't overstay your welcome. You make sure you're honoring their dignity. You can't leave without offering a prayer. Records if you visit the sick and you didn't say hashem please give a speedy painless recovery. Please give comfort. Then you haven't fulfilled the mitzvah to visit the sick. Can you visit the sick even on the telephone with Mosha as a chuva? Can you visit the sick through facetime or WhatsApp video call? Fascinating questions. Not for now. But the tour says why was Hashem here? He came to visit Aram to visit the sick. How do he know that? Maybe this is a moment of prophecy. How did the tour know? How did Kazal know that he is visiting the sick? So the preacher, one of the commentaries on the tour writes because if you look inside, Hashem appears to sitting outside the tent. A raises his eyes and it never says that Hashem spoke. doesn't tell us that Hashem communicated. So clearly he wasn't there to transmit a message. He was there simply to sometimes the happens. How? Just through our presence. You don't always have to talk. You don't always have to speak. You could sometimes just sit just to not feel alone. We know that when people in pain, their pain is compounded by a feeling of loneliness. Whether it's a sick person in a hospital or alone, whether it's a person who's mourning and grieving, whether it's people in life who are struggling whatever way, just feeling alone compounds the other pain. And often we can't take away or mitigate their pain. But we can take away a feeling of loneliness. And who are we emulating when we do that? None other than the almighty himself. Comes what did he say? What did he say? I want to know what to say when I visit the sick. What did hem say? We don't know. His company alone is what offered comfort to jumps up. By the way, these men that are standing over him, these men are standing over him. They're he jumps up in order to go and to run and to help and to take care of him. of who all made. He took cream and milk and a calf which he had prepared. He placed these before him. Aram stands over them beneath the tree and and they ate. Rabbi Saxs points out very interesting and I don't see Rabbi Saxs do this that often but here he quotes of Bells. The great rabbi saxs according to the belom bells notes that back in puk bays the visitors are spoken asim alav first we're introduced that these three men are standing over a and now a is described as he's omade alam. So are the alav or is he om they standing over him or is he standing over them? At first glance the visitors were higher than a they were angels. He was a mere human being. But when he gave them food and drink and shelter when he said he stood even higher than the angels. A beautiful insight but the bells are but bells. It began the angel higher than us. But when we do, when we show loving kindness, when we show care and concern for others, then we're even higher than the angels. So it begins that they stand over us. But by the time that we show love and kindness, then we in fact stand over them. It reminds me of another insight. We've shared it in the past. I won't get into it and I won't elaborate at length, but that language that these angels, these men were they were standing over a and this is a repeat. I know we've said it before, but what does it mean? could have just said that Aram saw them. What does it mean that they're nitim? They're standing over him. So the Ramban says that they were standing over means that they're standing. Aram's sitting. It's just communicating the posture, the position they were in. If you want to have a picture and an image of what we're talking about, they're standing a sitting. Now you could paint the picture. Rashi says they weren't standing over a but in front of him. All is an expression of respect to the malim who are in a sense superior. They weren't standing over him. All love means that they are greater than a theak and the sworno that the angels stood still. They were looking and waiting for instructions. They're standing there new. What should we do? We're here. We've arrived. What's next? They're waiting for instructions. But what I really want to tell you is the Ephraim of Satma. We said the following. You know what means means that Ara feels the weight of these men standing over him. means that rather than what's called the diffusion of responsibility or what other sociologists call the bystander effect. The bystander effect is when I say who here can chair the committee who here can we're looking for volunteers who here could host and everybody you know looks down and shies away pretends they're not here. The bystander effect is someone else will step in someone else will take care of it. Someone else will call 9101. Someone else will pick up this garbage. Someone else will. That's the bystander effect of the diffusion of responsibility who lives a life and he feels a love. This is standing over me. This is weighing on me. This is my responsibility. He's sitting he's sitting at the entrance of the tent and he feels the weight of the world standing over him. What's my next assignment? What's my next mission? Where are my next needed? What do I do? What do I do next? the bystander effect. You could either keep moving or you could take care of it. I was in New York on Sunday for a wedding. So when I go, I try if there's time, you won't believe how close it's 15 minutes from JFK. I try to go to the O to Davin at the Reba. There's so much to Daven for. So at the O there's a a case where you could light a candle. When I went to light a candle, a bunch of the candles had caught fire together. And there was a fire in that case. You know how many people lit their candle or went onto the oil to Davin and walked right by that fire? Who stopped to go find one of the workers there? who stopped themselves to try to put out that fire. The bystander effect said, "Not my problem. I'm here to go davin. I'm here for the cookies and the coffee." Excellent by the way at the all. I'm here for other reasons. You keep walking by that fire. Not my problem. But a mino feels nitima love. There's a fire. Got to do something about it. It's the garbage on the floor. It's my responsibility to pick it up. Someone's looking for a place to sleep or a meal. That's on me. That's on me. That's the sense of a that an avenue took and that's what we also inherit from him. The a us should be not a bystander effect not a diffusion of responsibility but if we see something don't just say something do something it's on us to take responsibility to do something. So we know three angels these three men were really three angels each angel came for another assignment revealed to Sarah she's going to have a child. Aram learns about the impending destruction for Sadd and that's on page 82 tells us that Hashem says because of the outcry of Stoman and Gomorrah has become great because their sin has become grave I'll descend and see if they act in accordance with its outcry which has come to me then destruction and if not I will know I'm Coming down to check it out. I'm coming down to look. What's this language? I'm coming down to look. I'm coming down to see. So says Rashi. I'm coming down to look again. This is I got to start bringing my glasses that a person should not This is a message to judges. Go examine it closely for yourself. Don't rely on hearsay. Don't rely on secondhand. Don't rely on innuendo or rumor. Judges have to examine closely. And by judges, I don't only mean in a courtroom and sitting on the bench. I mean we when we're using our judgment, which we use each and every day. When we're using our judgment about a situation, don't come to a conclusion. Don't have a judgment without looking at the evidence yourself. Because Hashem doesn't just sit from the heavens where, by the way, he sees perfectly and knows everything. He doesn't just sit in the heavens and come to his conclusions. I'm coming down to give a kick, to give a look. I'm going to check it out myself. I won't come to a conclusion or judgment without seeing myself. And then Rashi says as alluded to because when it came to the tower there says as well I'm coming down I'm coming down to see and indeed back in par tells us Hashem came down to see the city and the place. Why does it say why does it say Hashem says I'm coming down. So back with the he came down now let me come down and let me see and according to gives that same explanation we just read in both places don't find someone or something guilty don't come to a conclusion until you examine the evidence for yourself until you s and see and look closely but explains differently the great says listen to this What a lesson for life says Rashwab. Hashem as we know lives lives above all creation. While the world is finite and imperfect, Hashem is infinite and omnipotent. For Hashem, there's no errors. There's no indiscretions. There's no mistakes. There's no failings. We human beings, we make mistakes. We have shortcomings. We don't always see the whole picture. From Hashem's divine perspective of justice, we should be accountable for absolutely everything we do wrong. from Hashem's perfect system of justice. Any slip up, any mistake, any failure, we should be absolutely accountable. So, how is it? How is it that we are still here? How is it? Why is it he hasn't wiped us out? Says Owab, for compassion to occur, listen carefully. For compassion to occur, Hashem has to descend down to his world. A compassionate and accurate assessment both for Hashem and for us requires the recognition, the acceptance and the tolerance of imperfection. If you sit high on your horse, you sit on your perch, you sit in your ivory tower and you look down at judgment of others, you'll be unforgiving. You'll be very strict and exacting. But when you come down to the level of where people are at, when you understand the temptation and the struggle that they're going through, now you'll have more compassion. For all of us, it's tempting to say, "You never catch me doing that. No one in my family would ever. I simply don't understand. How could they?" Well, maybe there's a lot you don't know. But if you come down to examine and to learn and to understand their life, their background, their makeup, their struggle, then maybe then maybe you'll have a little bit more compassion. That's what we invoke from Hashem. We say, "Hashem, from up there, I shouldn't even be here. I don't deserve a second chance, but come down. You created me and you built this world and you created my impulse and my temptation and you gave me my my challenges and my struggles. So come down and look from my perspective, see through my eyes, understand my struggle and have some compassion. Says Schwab, it's not a coincidence that when we invoke the midas of [clears throat] when we invoke the 13 attributes of compassion as we did throughout and on every fast day, what do we recite over and over again? Hashem, come down here. Come down. Don't judge from high up there. Don't judge from the place of perfection. Come down here from the place of imperfection. Because if we want you to be forgiving and compassionate, come down here from the place where people are where people are imperfect and have some compassion on us. Zagabi of the Skolan Rebba of Eleazar Zusha Portugal who once related among the many people whom the Reb rescued from Europe was a woman who had informed the Romanian government of his religious activities and that led to his arrest and imprisonment. Why go to such effort and expense to save a person of her ilk? He was asked. How could you help somebody who herself was involved in your imprisonment? So the Reb said with tears in his eyes, "You have no idea how much she suffered beforehand and how the authorities made it so tempting for her to inform. I don't hold it against her at all." He went down to her level. He saw through her eyes. He lived her experience to better understand her perspective, her perspective. And that's what we ask Hashem to do. And that's what we're obligated to do is to go down to go down to see from the perspective of others and that will bring us to a greater sense of compassion. Rashi Rashi says, "Let me go down and see this cry that came to me. What happened in stom there were laws in Som? It was illegal to be kind. Being compassionate was a crime. Hospitality came with the death penalty. We see it soon with the story of Lot. So Rashi tells us as that there was a woman who lived in stone who once offered a meal to one poor person and she was killed a mis mashuna. She was killed they drowned her in a vat of honey and the bees came at her a horrific horrific death. A horrific death and her cries they reached up to the heavens they reached up to Hashem. Those cries must have pierced the heavens. Those cries must have been unbelievably powerful. But the cries of one woman caused the downfall and destruction of the entire stone. you see that when you cry out to God authentically, when it's real, when it's sincere, when it's raw, when you cry out to Hashem from the depth of your being, that cry even of one person can have such an enormous impact points out that the opposite's then also true because that the positive is five times greater than the negative. So therefore, if such a cry, a negative despair, such a cry of pain could have such an impact, then imagine a cry of advra, a cry of kindness, a cry of caring. Imagine the impact, the transformational impact that that can have. All the more, all the more so. So enters this negotiation with the Almighty, this negotiation with Hashem. And he says, "If there are, maybe there are 50 righteous men in the city. Will you will you save the city on behalf of the 50 righteous?" I got it, Hashem. I got it. These are pretty hopeless places. I got it. Just like on the whole world, you did a reboot and a reset on the city. In a microcosm, you want to do a reboot and a reset. I get it. But is that really just and right? Is that really fair? If there are 50 righteous people, you have to spare the whole city. This is a precedent. By the way, I wrote my article yesterday about this incredible email I got before, an anonymous email, which was a letter to God. And the response I gave to it, the person argues they're going to walk away from God, but I told them they're walking much closer to him than many people I know. this notion of being angry, disappointed, frustrated, protesting to Hashem. Sometimes some people beat themselves up over it. They're going through a hard, difficult or painful time and they wonder where are you and how could you? And they said, "No, no, but I'm supposed to just believe in Hashem. Everything's for the best. Love him. Be grateful for whatever hardship I'm going through." And certainly there is no virtue. There's no goal or ambition in being angry at Hashem. We're not encouraging it. But there's also no shame or guilt in feeling it because a here is a precedent. A protest the almighty. A protests to Hashem. A protest to Hashem. And he sets the precedent for us. And he's not the only one. Yo does. And Yahoo does. And many do. Shem, where are you? And how could you? But they use those questions to come closer, not to draw further away. And you can see the article we expand a lot more on it here. But by Sax points out something fantastic that I never noticed in these words points out when Aram's making the argument about the righteous. He doesn't just say shalom in the bish somewhere in the five cities the five towns of stone amora in the b medish somewhere there's got to be 50 righteous people somewhere in the corner of their home hiding there's got to be 50 righteous timuggers in the basement they've got the alain group god you have to forgive how does he formulate it soak quotes from hers once asked whom a might have had in mind when he asked God to spare stone if to contain 10 righteous people. What would it have been like to be righteous in such a corrupt civilization? He answered, "Such a person would not be one who keeps to his own four walls. He would be one who's to be found in the midst of the city in lively connection with everything and everybody." It's not a doesn't advocate there must be 50 righteous people hiding in the corner, sitting in stig zugging tollum. How will you know if there are 50 righteous people? What is the sign of righteousness? Where are they? They are among and amidst the people. To be found in the city in connection with everything and everybody even in stom to be righteous is not to be segregated. It's to be a participant in society challenging it where it needs to be challenged but not abandoning it. The definition of sadikim is how are you sadikim? A Torah that's lassos not learning only for our learning but a learning to live to take the timeless Torah and to bring it to the world to transform the world to make a difference in the world to make an impact on the world. That's the point and that's the purpose of our sacred and our holy Torah. What a beautiful insight. I never noticed that before that the definition of sadikim is that they're living where and how part of the world part of the world going back says pelim to God of his brand new safer para fantastic again no royalties I I I love these farum and I gained so much from them and getting to share them with you and in what they mean to me. So when I encourage you, it's not because I have any stake in them, partnership royalties from them. It's because I want you to have access to what I love so much. So brand new safer fantastic points out this is the first time in the Torah that the language of prayer is used. to God. The first time prayer is mentioned is not a person who's praying for himself. The first time prayer is mentioned is Aram is praying for others. He's praying and advocating and fighting for Saddam. And you see the purpose of prayer is primarily not for ourselves but to care and to advocate for others. You know in Elo one year before Rashashana amed a student at the Mir asked the great asked the great Rashiva who what what he should think about what he should daven for are coming rash is coming he asked what should I daven for the rashiva answered two words what should you davin for somebody else somebody else davin for somebody else he didn't say it but maybe got it from this fact the first time is used is in our par and it's not someone praying for himself it'sing for others and how does formulate says responded I desire to speak to Hashem although I'm But dust and ash. What is the word halti? Art scroller translates it as I desired. What is the word halti? So rashi saysi says what I want. Says what I desired. So rashi elsewhere says it means but here doesn't say anything. And the I began to speak. What does it mean? So quotes the news that we've been quoting who wrote it the writes. So he quotes in the we said in ash this morning twice say it again the will of those who fear you you will do the truth is truly God-fearing people have no personal need or want whatever you give me is what I deserve and need and what's my mission what's my next assignment but I have no wants a truly god-fearing person has no personal wants, has no zone because why? Hashem nevertheless instills within even the righteous, even the god-fearing a want and a desire. Why? Where does prayer come from? A feeling I need, I lack, I want. So therefore I come to ask who craves craves the relationship he craves the communication and that's the it's going to take I wish I knew this for sitter snippets back in ash listen to this doesn't mean he fulfills the will of those who fear him means he makes of he gives those who fear him a desire so they'll come in and he can answer. The truly god-fearing who are happy with what they have in life would never be motivated to dav to ask because they don't need they don't lack. So, Hashem creates a sense of need and lack so that we so that he can answer what he makes is and then so that and that's what's going on over here as well. The halti ratisi is Hashem created this whole scenario. So a would feel there's something I need to fight for. He'd feel I lack. So he'd come and he'd advocate and he'd fight for the Jewish people. I'm sure has a lot more. It's worth learning the entire thing. But a beautiful insight that the first time prayer is mentioned, it's not about a person praying for himself. It's praying davka for praying davka for others. And then it ends this negotiation which is successful. God Hashem departed when he finished speaking to Ara and Ara returned to his place. Okay. What is this teaching? They parted ways. Yeah. They finished the conversation. God went back to God. Ara went back to his place. What's the alternative? Why do I need to be told that? Where else are they going? What does this puss mean? What is this puss adding? So Rashi Rashi also was bothered to ask these questions and Rash and letters are getting smaller and smaller. What is going on over here? Rashi says since the uh negotiation's over, case closed, court adjourned, the judge is going home. And so I'm fine. But has a very very important comment on this that I want to share with you. This fine morning went back to his place. Hashem went back to his place and he says, "Let me explain based on an episode that once happened with What happened? One time one time a rabbi came to this lonely started fetching and complaining. I can't take it. The congregants I can't take it. The balabatim they're miserable. They're impossible. They're difficult. My schedule I have no time to learn. I'm so busy constantly. I'm constantly helping, constantly meetings. I'm constantly involved in raising money. I can't learn. I don't have time for myself. Answered him. A rabbi who leaves the gumar open when he goes to help, it's as if the gumar is closed. And a person who closes the gumar to go help, it's as if the gamarra is open. What did that mysterious comment mean? The rabbi who leaves the gumar open when he goes to help, it's like the gamarra is closed. And the rabbi who closes the gumar when he goes to help is as if the gumar is open lived this way himself thought that the most important there's a very different misas it's a very different question once heard ravasha weiss spoke to us a group of rabbis about this different gdola is answered the question differently what's the primary job of a rav some said it's to be a teacher of Torah others to be a post pas and answer questions The primary job of avoid the privilege of loving kindness helping others. That's how learned. It's how learned. You know, there's a story of walking and there was a young boy crying, crouching next to a tree. Said, "What's going on? Why are you crying?" And the young boy said, "I was playing hide-and-seek." This is not the hide-and-seek story. Sorry. It's a different story. They were riding on each other's back and they were playing horse and all the kids went off to eat and he didn't get his turn. So got down on all fours and let the kid ride on his back so the kid could have his turn because he felt left out. That was aside from the love and the and the care and concern he showed to each and every Jew. I am the gumar. So what did mean? He meant if you leave the garra open when you go to help signaling where do I really want to be? still learning and you're interrupting me but I want to go back. Then it's as if you closed your gumarra. But if you close the gamarra to signal this is where I'm meant to be. This is what I want to be doing then you left the gamarra open to be taking your learning to go do what you're meant to be doing. Isn't that such a beautiful image? If you leave the garra open what you're saying is can we end this conversation? Can we finish this up? I just want to get back to the gamarra. But if you close the gumarra, what you're saying is I'm with you. This is where I meant to be. This is where I want to be. And that's when you've left truly left the gum open. When you've left the gumar open, that's went right back to his place after he advocated for the people of stone. After he intervened and interceded, after he tried to help, what did he do? He went right back to his learning. The Rambam Torah famous Rambam the third paragraph of the Rambam writes how do we spoke about this in the Shabas we gave se several shirum on this question every mitzvah has a measure what's the definition of a how long does the chauffeur have to be how much wine do you need in your glass for kdish how do you fulfill the mitzvah of Torah you came to the par this morning done finished for the day the week a month how do you measure the mitzvah of when are you done with the mitzvah to learn Torah. So the rabb writes you have before you performance of a mitzvah and learning to say if other people could do that mitzvah keep learning if no one else can do it and return to your learning. What did the mean? Maybe it sounds like when you're done interrupting to do the mitzvah, go right back to learning. Says, "No, can I get means that the mitzvah you did was an extension was a continuation was the fulfillment was the execution of the learning that you were doing. Go back to the learning that you were doing. So leave your garra open close your gamarra but leave it open through the mitzvah that you're going to do. That too is part of of what's happening of what's happening here. goes gets up to load is saved. Saddam is a disaster wakes up. Hashem is destroying stone. God remembers and he leaves. That is not the sorry negotiated with it's time to destroy rescue lo and the Torah says a woke up early that morning and he went al to the place that he had previously stood to do what to what' he go there to do to Davin Rash says he went back to the same place you see from here the idea of a cava he went to Davin The rabbis learned established the prayer of shak here. This is from the listen to this. Listen to this very carefully. We learn we learn the entire institution of Davening every morning from this prayer. This is the prayer that didn't work. This is the prayer that wasn't answered. This is the prayer that got a big fat no. Ara asked for stone to be spared. Ara asked for a rama. Ara asked for a shak. Ara asked for the birth of children. Ara asked for peace and security. Avan asked for a prayer and he got a big fat no. Hashem rejected the stone was destroyed. And that's the place from which we learn the entire institution of shakas. That's where we learn every morning from a big no. What a powerful question. What a question. That's exactly where we learn it from. You know why? Because we need to know that even when it feels like our prayer wasn't answered heard it. He deposited it. He banked it. And we have no idea the cosmic impact it has. Don't look back and feel that we got a no. There's a yes. Maybe it's a deferred yes. Maybe it's a yes that we never know. Maybe it's a yes that won't come for a long time. There is absolutely no such thing as a wasted prayer. Every heartfelt prayer that's offered is deposited. And that's exactly what a established that even when it feels like you've got to know, don't stop praying. Don't stop dvening. Don't stop asking on that issue. It felt like a no. But you have no idea where all those felos will turn into a yes. Will turn into a yes. We all know the story when Esther Waxman Nakshan Waxman was a IDF soldier who was kidnapped and held the entire Israel country lit candles. Even those who hadn't his parents went on TV in Israel and said light candles and offer a prayer on his behalf. And in an attempted rescue operation, he was killed. and his parents heroically, Esther Waxman, made an effort to specifically go back on TV and tell the Israeli public and Jews everywhere, don't think that you got a no. It was Hashem answered a yes to something else. Don't think Hashem didn't answer our prayer. Sometimes the answer is a no, which is a yes to something else. And that's what it means. Listen to this. That's what it says. Woke up early. Odenu later says he's still standing. What does it mean? It means even when it feels like we got to know to stay still standing and keep asking. We don't know. We don't know Hashem's divine matrix. We don't know Hashem's divine spreadsheet. We don't know how he has his account of prayers that were deposited through the millennia and the ages and when he's taking out a yes. You know, the blessings in our life today are Hashem answering the prayers of our grandparents and great-grandparents of a long time ago. And our grandchildren and great-grandchildren and great great grandchildren of tomorrow are depending and relying on the deposits of our prayers today. We have no idea how a system works. And even when we dive in so hard for something that seems like it didn't happen or we know that it feels like it was a no, those prayers weren't wasted. And we have that. We've received that from au. That's what it means. He's established the a in us is the capacity to continue to dav even or especially when it feels like we got a no to davin nonetheless and to keep going. Aram has a mava. He has a set place that he offers this prayer by in this m and we learn from here how important it is to have a mum kava not to kick someone out of your seat. Makum kava draw a circle around your makum kava your set place in shul draw a circle it's not six feet in every direction if you find a chair there you're still in your and you are good to go learn from your whoever has a set place to din the god of will will help them and they'll say about you when you die what a humble person what a righteous person a student of au why they ask him because all that because you have a mum kava where is this kava writes the mav is not in shul makum kav is in your house the entire shul is a mum kava and the gar lords and praises a person who has a mum kava it's not talking about in the shul is talking about in your home don't din while you're putting away the dishes and cleaning the dining room table and getting the laundry in the hamper and you're mumbling the davining don't din sometimes in this corner And sometimes in that room and sometimes in the backyard person should have in their home a set place. Get aender. Get a misra sign on the wall. Have a bookcase of this should be a set place. A set place in the home. A feeling of sobonders. What's this value and virtue? You're a student of just because you have a a doesn't just mean physically standing in the same place. It means that a person feels my is my place in the world is an ongoing conversation with Hashem. that the entire day is one long conversation with God. So yes, makum kaba can mean a set place to davin whether it's in shul or at home. But what it also means kava is my place is in davening. My life is one long conversation. We've shared so many times in this year living with amuna walking into the boardroom the operating room walking into every room is a conversation with hashem. That's what said my one request is he didn't mean that I can sit in the house of hashem all the time. What he meant was wherever I go, I transformed it into a base. Hashem work, the supermarket, the gym, the subway, my home, I'm constantly in conversation with Hashem. My place is constant conversation. One last one. Sorry, one last one. Let's go back. One last idea. He hesitated. Sorry, let's go back. Lo and his wife and his family are being destroyed. There was an ambivalence. He hesitated. He hesitated. Who's he as breaking the angel's hurried lot? Get up. Take your wife to daughters and get out. But he hesitated. Torah does not have a word for ambivalence, right? Rabbi Saxs. It does, however, have a tune for it. This is a rare note known as, what's the trap over the word visa? >> Shashellas. It's an unusual note going up and down, up and down as if unable to move forward to the next note. The 16th century commentator Ravse Iban Kaspi best define what it's meant to convey. A psychological state of uncertainty and indecision. The nature of Lo's indecision, the graphic notation of the shashalis looks like a streak of lightning, a zigzag movement, a mark that goes repeatedly backward and forward, conveys a frozen frozen motion. Lo is a prime example of what Leon Festiger called cognitive dissonance. According to Festo, the need to avoid dissonance and the unbearable tension it creates is fundamental to human beings. It is this tension that lo cannot resolve and which is signaled by the shashellis over he hesitated. Festiger's theory also explains the behavior of lo's wife who looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. He called the syndrome postdecision dissonance. He predicted the more important the issue, the longer the person delays a decision. The harder it is to reverse, the more he or she will agonize over whether they've made the right choice. They have second thoughts. They need reassurance. They try to look back. But if you look back, if you live your life looking back, if you live your life with regret and remorse, if you live your life second-guessing, you get stuck like salt preserves loads wife. We get stuck looking back. So that is the zigzag is indecision back and forth and back and forth. We d we shouldn't have dissonance. We should have clarity and confidence the decisions that we make and be able to move forward. Should be a day of besos Yeshua's venos.