Praying to be able to PRAY | Living with Emunah # 378

Good morning, Boca welcome back to Living with Emunah. I have social seats here, sorry. If anybody would like to learn and follow inside. A freilichen Shushan Purim. Wonderful to see everybody. Surprised how many women are hungover that are not here this morning, but uh It's a beautiful thing. A freilichen Shushan Purim everyone. Hopefully everyone had a beautiful Purim. Our Emunah series is generally sponsored generously sponsored by Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of her late Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain very grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. This uh also co-sponsored the series in memory of the fallen soldiers and alumni of Bnei David Machon and Eli. This week we're highlighting Ehud and Ruthie Fogel who lived in Mitspe Ramon. He and his wife Ruthie were raising six children, a devoted teacher and rabbi known for his warmth, dedication to Torah. Friday night, March 11th, 2011 terrorists murdered Udi, Ruthie, and three of their children. Two sleeping sons survived and a daughter was away that evening. We dedicate our learning to them. Today's shiur sponsored by Michael Margulies in memory of Israel Margulies on his sixth yahrzeit. We miss uh Israel Margulies, our dear friend, and by Sarah Margulies in memory of her husband Yisrael Chaim ben Harav Yosef Meir, our good friend Israel Margulies neshama should have an aliyah, and anonymously thank you for the Living with Emunah series by Alyssa Brody for the zechut for all the singles they find their zivug hagun karov um nirtzeh Hashem. You know, Purim is a big day to daven. Purim is a big day that our tefilos get answered. Purim, just like in the original story, Mashiach lo sefek v'ein lo sefek lo, the Baal Shem Tov said that just like the king said to Esther, "What's your request and I'll give it to you." So, the King of Kings, the Melech Malchei Hamlachim, asks, "What's our request?" And he gives it to us. It was true on Purim and true on Shushan Purim. So, do not neglect, don't forfeit the chance to daven from the depths of your being today. First of all, for our brothers and sisters in all of Israel, but also for all those, including here as this donor as this sponsor is saying, singles should find their zivug hagun. By Gavriel and Chana Leib, in memory of merit of their grandfather Shmuel ben Nechemia, Randy Golper Botek with enormous gratitude living with emunah, Martha Smoly in honor of her father's yahrzeit, Rabbi Yaakov Rabbi Jacob Handler, and anonymously on the yahrzeit of Yitzchak Dov Ber ben Nachum. Thank you to all of our incredible, generous sponsors. So, first of all, a word about Shushan Purim, then we'll get into our letters, then we'll get back into our text. But before I do all of that, I just want to thank you, Chava, for picking up Living with Emunah last week while I was away. Well-deserved applause. Not to mention the outstanding job she did at the Purim seudah last night and cleaning it all up single-handedly. Um I got a lot of emails from people saying how incredible last week's Living with Emunah shiur was. Some of which said Okay, a second round of applause. Some of which said, "Feel free to stay in Israel. We've uh you know." So, well, actually, because of that feedback, we're going to introduce a new feature, which I decided, why do I have to give the shiur and do the question and answer at the end? So, maybe not every week, but often, we're still negotiating, I'll give the shiur and then you and Chava will do the question and answer. So, stay tuned for this uh They say the couple that teaches Living with Emunah together stays together, so it's good for shalom bayis. Nitzacham. Nitzacham. So, thank you. Shushan Purim. I'm tempted to talk a lot about Shushan Purim. I'm not going to because it's an Emunah shiur, not the Shushan Purim shiur, and because many will listen to the shiur not on Shushan Purim, but where does Shushan Purim begin? What is its origin? Its connection to Israel. The ayaros mukafos choma, the cities that were walled from the time of Yeshua ben Nun, it dafka, specifically this holiday is connected to Israel, Yeshua's conquest of the land of Israel and that timing, that dating because we are to always feel connected to Israel. And right now, we feel incredibly connected and we're thinking of our brothers and sisters particularly those in Yerushalayim celebrating Shushan Purim, our children there who are running in and out of shelters interrupting their Purim seudah by going in and out of bomb shelters and running away from ballistic missiles and uh Hashem should watch over and guard all of them. And just as the original defeat of Persia on these days of Purim the current defeat of Persia, the miracles are just we spoke at our seudah last night. This I still remember. But we spoke that these miracles, you know, you read the Chumash it's already erev Pesach. So I'll tell you something for Pesach. We read Motzei Purim is erev Pesach. I could say it. Believe me, I feel it. I feel it. So we read the Chumash and you read the story about how Hashem hardened Pharaoh's heart. Every year you read it and every year you come to the Pesach seder and you celebrate it. You say like, "Come on, what does that mean?" What does it mean? Pharaoh was so stupid? After the first plague, okay, maybe he thought it was a fluke. After the second plague, maybe he assumed it was a freak of nature. After the third plague, he thought it was a coincidence and random. Like by the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th, pursuing them with the splitting of the sea what does it mean that Hashem hardens Pharaoh's heart? And chevra we're watching, we're living, we're seeing, we're feeling this mamash in our time. 88 clerics get together in person yesterday to anoint the new Ayatollah. What a group of 88 morons. I'm saying they haven't learned by now? They don't know that Israel knows exactly where you're going, where you're going, what you're doing, what you had for breakfast. They know everything. They they know what websites you visited. They know everything. They know everything. So of course Israel dropped a bomb on that building and 88 clerics no more. That was it. Gone. They were trying to get together to vote in the next Ayatollah and and they're gone and they're gone. Hashem keeps hardening the hearts of these morons who keep getting together and taking their immune. Khamenei himself who got together for breakfast in the morning with his cabinet. What do you think cuz it was the day not night? All the misdirections. Okay, but still still how do you understand that the answer is you can't cuz Hashem is hardening their hearts cuz it's all part of his story. We're living historic biblical Torah times. We're seeing mamesh miracles. So every moment wrote they anticipated that Iran had its over the last couple of years because of its stockpile. They if there would be a war, they anticipated Halila that there could be as many as 30,000 casualties in Israel. We're seeing miracles miracles miracles. It should just continue should only continue. We take nothing for granted and we assume nothing but it should just continue. These are miracles in our time. Shushan Purim is the day that we are supposed to feel very connected. But I'll just leave you with this thought and we'll get back into Emunah. Why do we have an institution of Shushan Purim? It's funny if you're in Yerushalayim, you observe Ta'anit Esther and then that was it. You broke your fast. You didn't hear Megillah. You just watched everyone else celebrate Purim all day. You did nothing and now today Shushan Purim you're celebrating. And today we're done ice mensch ice Purim. So today is the day after Purim. Today is the recovery day from Purim. Today is uh It's a little harder the older you get. Just tell you that. Made it to Kol Bo this morning Baruch Hashem but it's not easy. But uh so for us Purim is already in the rearview mirror but now it's Purim's happening in Yerushalayim live. Getting pictures Baruch Hashem. Incredible. Why do we have two days? Where do you see that? Yes, it's true today we have Yom Tov Sheini Shel Galiyot. You have Israel's one day of Yom Tov and the punishment for living in the diaspora is two days of Yom Tov. But that just comes because we had a safek we had a doubt when Yom Tov falls the calendar and we continue Min Hagav Avotenu we continue to commemorate today. But it was never instituted to begin with us two separate days. Pesach is the first day. We just keep a second day. And so it's the same. We just keep a second day. And Shavuot is the same day. We just keep a second It's the same day. And yet here, it was instituted as two separate days. Where do you see such a thing, and why would that be? So last week on our mission flying to Israel, 25 of us went to go meet with rabbis, roshei yeshiva, rabbonim, media personalities, the US ambassador to Israel. We had an incredible incredible week. So Rav Nachlas, those who know Rav Nachlas, the great Rav Nachlas, great talmid chacham, incredible baal chesed, the great Rav Nachlas. So Rav Nachlas asked this question, and he suggested the following answer. He gave this beautiful answer. He said maybe because Purim is all about simcha. So it's one thing to feel simcha for ourselves, and it's one thing to feel simcha for you when we're all in the simcha together. You go to a Purim seudah, and everybody's so happy, and they're hugging, there's more hugging and kissing and affection and love and dancing and hand-holding. But me'im Hashem, a Purim simcha, baruch Hashem, a Purim seudah. It's all I'm ba'simcha, you're ba'simcha, I'm ba'simcha for you, you're ba'simcha for me cuz we're all simcha today cuz it's our day. It's our day. It's a happy environment. It's a happy atmosphere. There's joy in the air. There's simcha for everyone. But the real test of simcha is, can I be happy for you on your day? And can you be happy for me on my day? When your day is not my day, and my day is not your day, can we still share in the simcha? Maybe that's why Purim, the holiday of simcha, there were two different days designated, suggested Rav Nachlas. Can you look at the pictures of the people in Yerushalayim today and feel, ah, it's still Purim, I'm still Purim, I'm still ba'simcha? And could they for us yesterday feel, I'm ba'simcha? The highest level of simcha is to fargin. There is no translation of that word in any other language. To fargin is to be happy for somebody else. To take joy for somebody else. To share in the simcha of somebody else. To be nosei b'ol chaveiro doesn't just mean to feel empathy when someone is going through a difficult time to feel their pain which is how we should be feeling for those who are in and out of shelters. To be no say ball Vera is not only to feel the pain of another it is to share in the Simcha of another. The author of come said which is harder to share in the pain of another or to share in the Simcha of another. It's harder to share in the Simcha of another you know why? Because when someone's going through a crisis an emergency you say well thank God that's not me so I'll cook them a meal or I'll drive their carpool or I'll do whatever I need to do and I feel their pain I'm just grateful it's not me. When someone else is having a Simcha you say why isn't that me? Why not me? My child should be getting married. I should be having grandchildren. I should win the lottery. I should have why not me? So it's harder it's harder to forgive to be able to be happy for somebody else that's Shushan Purim. Different days because the highest level the the most authentic level of Simcha is not just to be happy for me and to be happy for you on my day but it's to be able to be happy for people even when it's not even when it's not your day. So a free love Shushan Purim should be a beautiful beautiful Shushan Purim. Dear Rabbi Goldberg thank you for all your share my everything you do. I spent this past Shabbos with my father in the hospital. The hospitality room in the hospital was taken I wound up sleeping trying on the chair in the cath lab waiting area. It was a little cold and uncomfortable I said Hashem I'm fulfilling keep it out of being here. I am where I meant to be and this is on your husband. Whatever it is it is. A short time later I was startled by someone walking by. She asked if I was all right and if I was sleeping there all night. I said yes. She asked if I'd like a blanket and I said I would it would be great. She came back with two warm blankets. I think you call that an embrace and a hug from Hashem. Thank you and his father should have a complete and speedy refo shlema. As I'm writing to you dear Rabbi Goldberg I'm very emotional due to the situation that just occurred. As per my previous email about my baby in the NICU an update we got transferred to the PICU and are 7 months in. My husband and I take turns going back and forth to the hospital. The other night we got there at a time we don't normally go around 6:30 p.m. due to having our other two toddlers at home since it's prime time for dinner, bath, and bedtime. My in-laws were over and told us to go to the hospital and they'll take care of the kids. Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, we got there and when we did, he was asleep and we decided to reposition him since he was slouching on the pillow. The lights were off, it was the middle of the shift change. My mom instincts came in and I knew something was wrong. All of a sudden his eyes were dilated and he was blue. We called for help, no alarms were working for some reason. My husband rushed in the hallway to call for help, it took 20 seconds. They came and bagged him and he was okay, Baruch Hashem. I can't imagine to even think if we weren't there. It takes 4 minutes for brain damage to occur. This is all Hashem. We were in the right place at the right time. It was my husband's grandfather's Yahrzeit knowing he was looking out for us as well. So, they weren't meant to be there. They never go during that time, but the parents came watch the kids and said, "Go." And they were exactly where they needed to be. And again, there's different reactions. That could happen. You could say, "Hashem, where are you? It's not bad enough, 7 months in the NICU and a PICU and now you have to go through that." Or you could say, "Hashem, you gave me a hug and a wink. Thank for putting us where we needed to be in that moment." Thank you for all that you do. The choice is ours. Which way we view it, which way we see it, the choice is entirely entirely up to us. Rebbetzin Goldberg, hi. Thank you for the share. 2 weeks ago after my husband finished his sixth round of miluim, we decided we needed to break. Sixth round, sixth round of miluim. Heroes. These people are not from this world. Sixth round, a husband and the wife. Sixth round of miluim. We decided we needed a break to refresh and recharge, so we went on a snowboarding trip. On last day of the trip, on our last run of the mountain, we got to the bottom, congratulated each other on our incredible time away, and decided we should end there on a high before anyone got injured as we felt exhausted. As we started walking to return our snowboards, I put my hand in my pocket to find the zipper open and my phone was gone. We tried find my phone but the location was off. I decided the best thing to do was go back up the mountain and snowboard back down the last route came to see if we could find it. Only problem was the ski lifts were starting to close. Instead of taking the lift that would take me to the top, I had to take a different lift, hike through the snow to get to the right starting point. As I was struggling to walk through the snow was up to my thighs, I started to cry. Why was I up here? I just hadn't wanted to go back to our hotel. Why did Hashem make me lose my phone? But those thoughts were so fleeting because the next thing I began to say was, "My phone is exactly where it's meant to be." I finally got to the start of the run and began to snowboard down looking for my phone. I got to the bottom of the run and didn't find my phone. But I kept saying this is all for a reason even if I lost my phone forever. Hashem has a plan and my phone is where it's meant to be. What's the big deal? We survived a war. I'll buy a new phone. I felt that with my emunah this is such a small thing in the grand scheme of things. I also told my husband that if the story had a worthwhile ending, I'll send an email to the emunah shear. I'm a little bit embarrassed about the ending, but I'll share it anyway because it's pretty funny. We walked back to our hotel to get ready to pack and leave and there next to my bed was my phone which I had apparently left in the hotel room without realizing. Having been able to remain calm, remember everything is from Hashem was an amazing feeling and I really owe a lot of credit to the shear. So, thank you. I share it because we should send them on another snowboarding trip. Sixth round of miluim. Unbelievable. Unbelievable people. I share it because it had a great ending. She forgot the phone. But I want to share it because something she didn't say. That means that the entire time that she went was going up the ski lift and was snowboarding down and going back up and snowboarding down, never once did she try to reach for her phone to just check what's going on. She was fully present with her husband. That's the unwritten part of the email that in some ways is the most remarkable part of the email. That capacity to disconnect to connect. And it's a reminder to all of us in those moments davening, at the Emunah shear, in life, to be able to disconnect from our phones, disconnect from what we're doing, to be fully present, to be where we are, and to uh spend the time in the way that we're meant to. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I'm going to share a small thing that happened to me this week. One of the simple moments feels like it captures actually what our group is all about. My wife asked me to stop at the kosher supermarket on the way home. As you can imagine, the parking lot was packed. Spots were at a premium. I thought I had found one, but sometime someone was coming from the other direction and clearly thought the same thing. For a split second, I considered making it into a thing. You know, that showdown. It never ends well. But instead, I let him take it and I told myself I trust Hashem will take care of me with the next one. After circling a few more times, I pulled up next to an open spot just as someone was parking. And you know what the license plate said? No. Look at this license plate. License plate says Emunah. After circling a few times, I pulled up next to an open spot just as someone was parking. The license plate read Emunah. It felt like a little wink from Hashem. I was wondering if this might qualify as a new type of capital 23 sighting. Thank you for the encouragement. Keep your eyes open to the messages Hashem sends. I happened to be listening to Living with Emunah while all this was happening, which made it even better. I shared it on our family chat, too, to spread the theme at home. Emunah was another one. Emunah license plate. I got to meet whoever has the Emunah license plate. So, if you live in New Jersey, the Garden State, and you got the Emunah license plate, let us know. That's a great license plate. Emunah. You know, it's an amazing thing. There are people who, you know, everyone's got the new It used to be Fitbit. What's the new one called? They wear the ring that measures everything, the bracelet that measures everything? What's it called? Oura. Oura. No, the Oura is the ring. What's the new bracelet? Somebody said to me, "You got to get it. If you have the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, you can get it for free. The first year free. They'll send it to you." I said, "Why should I get it?" "Ooh, it tracks everything. Tracks your sleep." I said, "Okay. Like what?" "It will tell you how many hours you got REM sleep, deep sleep, no sleep." I said, "I I And what do you do with that data?" "Now I know." I said, "Every morning I wake up, I know I didn't sleep well. I don't I don't need I need to wear something around my wrist to tell me what I know that's not If the data is going to change something, if you're going to alter your life, you're going to go to sleep earlier, you're not going to look at your phone before you go to sleep. If you're not going to change anything anyway, what's the data going to help?" So, one of the things all these things do, it tracks how many steps you took. Supposed to take 10,000 steps. 10,000 steps. So, the same person who's walking to the 10,000 steps a day will get in a huge fight over the park is over that parking spot right next to the store. So, park a little bit further away. That's a way to get steps. Don't fight. Don't circle. Don't waste your time going around and around. There's a holy Jew, a good friend of mine. I won't say his name. I don't know if he has permission. So, we used to have a lunch and learn at uh a local hospital. It was a cancer center. And some of the doctors there, we had a lunch and learn. And he came. He wasn't one of the doctors. I walked out with him one time. And like, you know, typical person at the time, I was also circling, finding the best spot, waiting for the best spot, the closest spot, trying to minimize the steps I have to take. I walk out with him and he's parked the farthest spot. With a whole bunch of empty rows from where he's parked. So, I thought he did it cuz he wanted to maximize how many steps. He said, "I come here for lunch and learn. But there are people who come here for treatment. They need the closest spots. I park as far as I can to make sure that they'll never ever have to park further than me. They deserve all the closer spots." What a mentality. What an attitude. What an attitude. The next week I parked a little further away. Not quite as far as that. A little further A little A little further away. A little further away. So, embrace part of Hashem's message if you don't find that spot close. Don't get into beef. Don't get like the You know, here we go. It's like You hear like the cowboy the uh the music playing from like the showdown of the two cars right there. What's it called? Wild West music is playing. Those two cars. The drivers lock eyes. Who's going to get that spot? Just keep Park far away. Count Get your steps in. Be grateful Hashem is helping you exercise. Uh let's keep going a couple more. Past week I had the immense privilege to be at Boca Raton Synagogue for a Shabbaton. And I got to meet the wonderful Rebbetzin. Unfortunately, I didn't get the opportunity to say hi to you. You didn't miss anything. However, I almost didn't make it to Florida. It's not the most outrageous story, but I want to share. I'd never Shabbat flight. Probably not my best idea, but it was supposed to leave at 7:30 a.m. When I woke up early for the flight, it was delayed until 10:00. Baruch Hashem, there were no future delays until I got to the airport. We boarded about 20-30 minutes late, but once we were on the flight, we were delayed again. As I sat on the plane not knowing if I'd make it to Boca for Shabbos with no backup plan, I listened to Living with Emunah Shir. I kept saying I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. And if Hashem wants me to make it to Boca for Shabbos, I will. Baruch Hashem, we landed in Florida. Once we landed, there was another delay on the tarmac and then at the gate. Florida was packed and I was out of sorts. I didn't realize my Uber arrived among all the cars. However, my dad called to give me my bracha before Shabbos just before the Uber was going to leave. And I was able to catch my Uber before they left. Baruch Hashem, I made it to Boca Raton just as the program was starting for the Shabbaton. Hashem wanted me to be in Boca for Shabbos. By keeping Living with Emunah Shir in mind, knowing I have no control, Hashem will put me where I'm supposed to be, I was able to stay calm. I didn't get overwhelmed or freak out despite traveling alone with the Erev Shabbos delays. Thank you for helping in my Emunah growth, enabling me to stay calm. Such an honor to be able to be in your beautiful and welcoming community for Shabbos. Everyone was so kind. It's a real experience. And uh we're glad that they We're glad they made it. I'll tell you that we I told you we were last week in Israel. And there was a big question whether we should go, 25 of us. Because first of all, nobody should ever use the language getting stuck in Israel. I'll just say on behalf of everybody. I'm not minimizing those who had plans to come back who couldn't, but we shouldn't use the language stuck. A Jew is never stuck in Israel. And there's 10 million of our brothers and sisters, 8 9 million of our brothers and sisters, they have nowhere else to go. And they're going nowhere else. That's their home. And even if somebody right now lives elsewhere, if that's where they are, a Jew is never stuck in Israel. Frustrating, disappointing, they're trying to be back, not easy for their family. I'm not minimizing it, but language matters and we should be careful with the language that we use and the sensitivity that we show others. So, we were concerned. I needed to be back for Purim. Baruch Hashem, a lot of responsibilities to the shul, two barmitzvahs this past shabbos. Should we go? Should we go? Should we go? And then we decided if Elal's flying, we're going. We went. And the whole time we were there, there were many who were concerned. Should I switch my flight? Should I leave early? Should I go back? Will we get stuck? Are we going to be here if a war breaks out? What's going to be? What's going to happen? And we got back. We left. Our flight was supposed to leave Thursday night. It was delayed. It left 6:00 a.m. Friday morning. We landed at 1:00 in Miami, the last flight out of Israel. We were back. We were back. Why am I telling you all this? Because I was working out my living with emunah muscle all week. And every time this conversation happened, I said to myself and to everyone, "If there's a decision to make, then think about it. But if there's no decision to make and there's nothing you're going to change, then all you're doing is worrying and worrying is not going to change when this war begins." Bibi didn't hear, "Oh, there's a group of Mevakshei Hashem here and they're worried. Let's all wait a little bit longer." My kids actually thought that when I landed at 1:00 p.m., I texted someone and told them, "It's okay, you can go in now." That's why the war started Friday night. But that did not happen. So, but but we're in these moments in these situations. That's exactly why we're learning all this and that's why I love and try to read to you these emails of which I have a big pile here cuz it was 2 weeks. But, the reason I share these emails are these are examples. These are examples of when we're in these moments and in the past we'd panic. We don't have to. Stay calm and carry on. Take a deep breath and realize I'm not in charge, I'm not in control, there's no more initiative for me to take, there's nothing for me to do, and so it will all be the way it's meant to. It will be the way it's supposed to be. In fact, one member of our group did switch his flight and he had tremendous unease about it. He needed to get back and he wasn't sure why and if it was right and should he have. And on that flight 2 hours after leaving Israel, they asked on the plane, is there a doctor? He's a doctor. He said, I am. And he examined this woman and said, we need to land the plane right now. And they landed the plane right then. It was a Jewish woman. They landed in Portugal and the woman was taken from the plane into emergency surgery. Which by the way, he posted in our group, does anyone know anyone in Portugal? He got in touch with the Chabad there and he helped the woman and he said, now I know why Hashem had me on this plane. Hashem had me change my flight, put me on this plane to be there to help that person. And that woman, she should continue to have a refuah shleimah. But, the point is that in all these moments, you could live with a menuchas hanefesh. You could live with a calm because you know he's in charge, he's in control. So, let go. You're not the pilot, you're not the driver, you're the passenger. And the passenger has the luxury of closing their eyes and falling asleep and waking up at the destination. And you don't know about all the near misses and the turns and the traffic and the detours and the reroutes. You fell asleep. You have the luxury of falling asleep in the passenger seat and you wake up when you get there. And in our lives, there are things that we're the driver. You got to take initiative, you got to make a choice. And those are the moments that it's difficult. We daven on it. We ask Hashem for help and seek out the shamayim for it. But, if there's no more initiative to take, there's no more decision to be made, then stop thinking about it. Then stop being anxious about it. Stop being worried about it because it's all in Hashem's hands. Okay, one last email cuz we need a Psalm 23 sighting. Even though we got a big pile here. And they're all so good. It's hard to leave any out. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, first and foremost, I want to thank you wholeheartedly for everything you do. I've been listening to the Shiurim. I had the privilege of meeting with you briefly when I brought a group from Aish UK to visit. We came and we spent the day with you. I mean, I remember we certainly remember you. I remember. Wonderful group. Before I get to the story, which is very much a Psalm 23 story, I want to say blah blah blah. Now the story. I was initially a Torah for a few months. This was Rosh Hashanah 2024 and I was getting ready for the Yamim Noraim. A Rav there said to me, "You should buy a Sefer Tehillim. Tehillim is the gateway to the heart." Now, I should say growing up in the UK, I'm not exactly the most emotionally expressive person. At least I wasn't back then. But I thought, "Why not? Let's try it." I went to Manny's in the Old City the next day, bought myself some Seforim. As I was checking out, I noticed a display of pocket-sized Tehillim in different languages. I went back and forth over which one to take. In the end, I chose a French one, since French is my mother tongue. My parents are French, which becomes relevant later. And I thought it would speak more directly to my heart. I went back to the Rav and asked which Psalm I should be reading. He said, "You're 22 years old, so you should read Psalm 23, the Psalm of the year of life you are currently in." I thanked him, and I went back to Psalm 23. As I flicked through the book, I noticed something strange. One page said Psalm 22, and the very next page said Psalm 81. I thought, "That can't be right." I flicked through the rest of the 600 page pocket Tehillim and realized it was the only misprinted page in the entire book. The header was wrong. I went back to Manny's, a little frustrated, told the man behind the counter, "I bought this Tehillim to read the Psalm of the year of my life, and the very page appears to be missing." He looked at it carefully and said, "No, it's there. Look at the Hebrew. It says Psalm 23. It's all there in Hebrew and French. Only the header is wrong." That hit me. The one page I was looking for, the header was wrong, but the page was right. That night at my evening at my night seder, I raised this with my Chavrusa. Several weeks prior, he and I had spoken about the question of my name. My English name is such and such, but my Hebrew name is Yaakov, and I wasn't sure which to go by. Some people that issue were becoming more observant with non-Jewish names would switch to their Hebrew name. Made sense, but in my case, both names are biblical. Neither is less Jewish than the other. I didn't know what to make of it. My chavruta felt something was clearly going on. He said we'll look into it. He suggested I read Psalm 81 as a potential sign. I read it. And I didn't connect to it nearly as much. A few hours later at midnight, he texted me, "I cracked it." The gematria of Yaakov is 182. The gematria of this other name is 101. The difference between them is 81. The very Psalm whose number appeared on the misprinted page where Psalm 23 should have been. Psalm 23, on the other hand, I connected to deeply. I'd become drawn to observance largely through music and Shabbos. I remember sitting at shaleshudis on many occasions, truly swept away with the tissue and sing Psalm 23. To this day, it's my favorite. When I'm stuck in traffic, I keep a pocket tillum in my glove glove box and sing it to myself loudly. It wakes up my neshama in a way that very little else does. As you can see in the video and screenshot attached, his conclusion was this. The phrase the English name praises has gematria of 101 plus 81, which equals 182, the gematria of Yaakov. It is precisely through tefillah and praise when I open my heart to Hashem I channel my inner Yaakov. That is when the two names become one. My chavruta shared another insight. There's another alternative system of gematria where instead of the standard value, 1 to 10, then 20, 30, 40, you count linearly from 1 to 26. In that system, Yaakov and the English name share the exact same gematria of 47. A deep level, they're the same. The more you look into things, the more you recognize the absolute unity of Hashem. Long story short, kapitel 23 changed my life, and it continues to change my life to this day. I now love tehillum, Shabbos, Eretz Yisrael. Following a year in corporate finance after my time in Yeshiva, after many davening sessions pouring out my heart, I decided to return to Israel for good, making aliyah, and to do my time in the IDF, in the tzava. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you. What an incredibly inspiring, what a beautiful email. Okay, back into our text of David Abuhatzeira. Trying to make our way through this pair. Okay. What are we up to? I think we're on page kuf lamed gimmel, bottom of the left-hand column. That's where we're going to start anyway. The Zera Shimshon of the Sassover is divrei Torah from Shimshon of his parshas Hukosai. Parshas Hukosai begins with the following words, "Im behukosai telechu." Yachad zakenu hamitzvos kishom vesmitzvosai tishmoru hamor. Hashem says, "Im behukosai telechu." If you walk with my hukim, what are hukim? If you say hukim are laws, hukim can't be the mitzvos cuz the mitzvos it says explicitly too, "As mitzvosai tishmoru." Mani mekuyam im behukosai telechu shetiu ameilim baTorah. Our Rabbis deduce, our Rabbis learn from here, since we mentioned mitzvos, im behukosai telechu has to be something else. What does it mean? Shetiu ameilim baTorah. You can't be superficial in your learning of Torah. You can't be casual. It's not a spectator sport. It's not passive. Shetiu ameilim, ameilus. You got to dig deep, dive deep, you got to work hard, you got to toil. There's mitzvosai tishmoru avameilim baTorah umen asah leshmara ukeim kemo she'amar, "Velimatem ushmartem la'asosam." What's the purpose of diving deep? What's the purpose of working hard? To enhance and to empower and to enrich our observance of mitzvos. The more we learn, the more we understand, the more excited we are, the more enthusiasm we'll have, the more our mitzvos are going to have meaning, the more they're going to transform us. Uveir hakadosh baruch hu asav, turn the page, shekavanas hatzivu shetiu ameilim baTorah hi. Sha'af kashitiu ameilim umasa umatan veska olam zeh, yugam heima baTorah. Daino kedas kalah baTorah biyosher vetzedek. So beautiful. Said the Meshech of Sasover, what does limud, what does drasha means is, as we're going about our daily life, as we're going about what seems to be mundane, shopping in the supermarket, going to work, going to work in business, whatever we're doing, we think, I have my religious life, that's in shul. My religious life, that's on the holidays. And now, I'm just going about my rest of life. I'm going to work, I'm going to the supermarket, I'm going to the gym, I'm going with the rest of life. Writes says the Mashliach of Sasover, no, she tzu amelim ba'Torah. Whatever your amal in should be how? Through Torah. So you're at work, you're taking the Torah with you. You're in the gym, you're taking the Torah with you. You're in the supermarket, we're taking the Torah. Hashem is with us wherever we are. He's by our side. He's next to us. He's urging us on. He's got his arm around us. He's also watching us, and he's observing us, and he's supervising us, and we're accountable to him. But she tzu amelim, wherever and whatever we're doing that's amelim should be ba'Torah. It's an ameilus that should happen with the Torah. You can't go to shul where you shuckle, and then you go into work and business where you're ruthless. You can't at work be a different person than you are at home. We're meant to lead consistent lives. Our entire life should be through, interpreted through, seen through, experienced through the prism of Torah. Hashem is with us everywhere. Whether you're on the plane, whether you're Everything is Hashem is by my side. It's all with Hashem. Do the ameilus so that you know and will observe everything through the principles and the rules of Torah. But it also means that anything that we're amal in, we should do it with Torah. Torah should guide, Torah should inform, Torah should inspire everything everything that we do. There's a big avodah. There's a big work. Namely, If you want to lead that life, if you want to lead a life like the people who write these emails, many of you have written those emails, you can write those emails, but if we want to be on that level, you have to dive in for it. It's not going to happen on its own. Dive in for divine assistance in seeing Hashem in our lives. Again, it's counterintuitive. It sounds illogical. I'm going to dive in to Hashem to see Hashem? It's counterintuitive. Doesn't seem to make sense. It's paradoxical. But any success in any area of life that we want to have, we need his help. We need his help. So, it's hard. This is very easy to learn. It's very easy to come to Monsey and listen to the emails and listen to the Torah and say absolutely and I want and I should and I will. And then you find yourself in that place. You know, one of the emails I got, it's a difficult email. There are some people who want to be back. They're missing a family simcha because Ben Gurion Airport is not yet open. And it's hard. It's easy to embrace your place when you have nowhere else to be. It's easy to embrace your place when the stakes aren't so high. It's a lot harder to embrace your place when you desperately want to be anywhere else. And not only are you not where you want to be, where are you instead? In a bomb shelter, maybe with strangers, maybe uncomfortable, maybe not dressed the way Only Israel, I don't know if everyone saw this. There's a website, only Israel. Somebody in Israel quickly over the last couple of days put together a website calculating the best times to take a shower that have the least likelihood that it'll be interrupted by a siren. It's a website based on algorithms and the sirens and when they're coming and it's telling you what's that What's that called? Can I shower.com or .org? Can I shower? It's mamish. Unbelievable. It's probably the same person who hacked all the traffic lights in Tehran for the last 5 years. That same genius now can I shower.com or .org, right? So, if you have to run out of the shower if you have to take a quick shower because you don't know when that siren's going off. All of us should feel, we talked about no say bar to feel that empathy, to think about our brothers and sisters there. When you take your next shower, enjoying the hot shower with no clock, no watch, no care for time all the time in the world, just think about millions of people who can't take that shower. Who are bathing their child as quick as possible because what if the siren goes off and their child's in the bath? And how will they get the diaper and some clothing on before they run to where that shelter is? Just think about that. Just think about that. It's not easy. It's not easy at all. What a resilient people our people are. Mi k'amcha Yisrael. That nevertheless yesterday, today on Shushan Purim, they're doing it with a smile and with joy and with resolve and with resilience and with romanous, a sense of triumph and victory and an absolute clarity and confidence that we're going to defeat our enemies. Persia's going to fall again this Purim. And and miracles, with an eye on the miracles that they're seeing. It's not easy. But it's not easy. Not easy to stop ourselves and catch ourselves and take that deep breath and remember, you know what? I can't change this outcome, so I'm just going to lean into it and know that it's from Hashem. Then it's from Hashem. And I'll tell you on my flight home from Israel I Baruch Hashem, I flew so much after October 7th that I from all flying all that, I got status, which was running out and this was my last flight with that status and I didn't get the upgrade. You know, you get up, okay. I'm not asking you to pull out your little violins for for I'm not asking you to feel bad for me. I didn't care. That was fine. Hashem said, "Okay, you know, you put me where I meant to be." But then it turns out I was sitting next to somebody who had a service dog. Only it wasn't a dog. I'm pretty sure it was a little horse. It might have been the largest dog I ever saw in my life. This was a This was This was a dog. So, the dog This was a dog This wasn't a dog. I'm pretty sure it was a pony. It was huge. It was huge. So, I you know, I sat there I had a little conversation with Hashem. We played footsie all night, the dog and I. Its tag Its tail kept uh you know, So, but I got through the night because I said I said two things. First of all, the sheer. Okay, this is the seat that Hashem assigned me. And next to me is the seat that Hashem assigned the man with his dog. And I'm meant to spend the night baruch Hashem. I'm just glad it wasn't Rabbi Moskowitz cuz he and dogs don't get along so well. That would have been That would have been an international incident. Um I'll tell you what I really told myself the whole night. This young man next to me with this service dog, and he was so nice and his dog was very sweet. And dog actually was very well-behaved considering it was an entire night. Didn't bark and didn't move around that much. But I said to myself, I don't know if it's true or not, but this is a method in life. I said to myself, I bet you this young man got out of Gaza. And I don't know what he saw, what he lived through, what he went through. And this dog, he needs this dog. It's a service dog. And you could see it in this guy's face. He needed this dog. His comfort, his his He needed that dog. So, I said, "I'm going to have an issue? This is what he needs?" Anytime I wanted to be annoyed, every wag of that tail that I wanted to be upset. Anyway, in my mind I wrote a whole email to El Al, but now I can't send it after the Iran war. So, whatever. Why am I telling you this whole story? First of all, that method. Make up Tell yourself a narrative of a story that will make it easier to get through. Number one. Number two, the people who are trying to come back to where they live, they would go on any plane with three dogs sitting on their lap right now. Many of the people on our trip stayed, and I'm in a WhatsApp group with them, and they're still calculating Cyprus, Jordan, Egypt. We go, not go, how, when, will it open? If they could have the choice to sit with that little pony on their lap, around their neck, they would go on a flight with that dog wrapped around their neck right now. That dog would be their neck pillow. They'd go right now. So, when you're in that difficult moment, when you're when you're when you're in that difficult moment, tell yourself a story. Cuz if the story of the circumstance were different, you'd be grateful for that challenge. So, if you tell yourself a story, you make up a narrative, you'll be grateful. You'll be grateful for it. You'll be grateful. That's number one. Number two, because embrace your place. That's where Hashem wants you to be. If there's an initiative to take, if you're allergic to dogs, you have a dog issue, you go to the flight attendant, you ask to switch seats, you figure it out. But if you're not going to do that, then just embrace your place, let go, and be amused by it, and move on, because that's where we're meant to be. But to live life that way is not easy. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard to un-nick you and un-pick you. It's hard sleeping outside the cath lab with your father over Shabbos. It's hard in those moments to say this is where I'm meant to be. This is where I'm meant to be. That's why you need to daven right so daven chazara. Siyata d'Shmaya l'hatzliacha. V'kach shafach nafsho. You know, we heard a great story of Shmuel Eliyahu told us. I think it was Reb Shmuel Eliyahu. He told Bibi in the Kiriya, Bibi told at the uh launch of the last Iran war. You know how you say a political party in Hebrew? Anyone know how to say it? The CIA is a political party and and surely I told them the most important, the most powerful party is CIA to this Maya. That's the most important one. That's the most important one. To be so happy to see out of this Maya. Divine providence, divine supervision, divine assistance, divine support, divine love. It's always there. It's always from Hashem. But to see it, to know it, to feel it, you got to dive in for it. Add it to your tequila. It's what we say at the opening of every diving. Hashem Hashem open my lips and help me. I'm distracted. I got a lot on my mind. I'm struggling focusing. I don't feel like diving. I'm exhausted. I'm hungover. Whatever you're saying. Hashem open my lips and let me say your praise. I don't know if you know that sometimes we have attributes, distractions, temptations. They're challenging us to do the wrong thing and to transform them, to pivot and to use them in the right way is hard. When you feel that temptation, that drive, that desire, take it, bottle it and redirect it. The same way I'm describing. You tell yourself a narrative. You tell yourself a story. This guy was in Gaza. He's a hero. He needs this dog. The smallest thing in the world I could do to show him support is a willingness to sit next to this to this My Little Pony on this uh flight. That's the smallest You tell yourself a story, you can endure almost anything. So, similarly, you get filled with a taavah, a desire, a drive. You want to look at, say, go, do the wrong thing. Take that drive, that yearning, that kisufin, that craving, and channel that craving into something else. Chazal understood this. The possuk says, "Oif kesef yisaber kesef." The person who loves money will never be satiated, will never have enough money. What does that mean? It means that whatever it is you crave, whatever you have that drive, we can channel and redirect the drive for good. We have a drive. Channel, redirect the drive for something positive, for something good. Sometimes a person has a drive, an insatiable appetite for something unhealthy, self-destructive, something negative. But drive itself is healthy. So, take that drive inside you and say, "Where can I apply it? What can I have a drive for instead? What can I have an insatiable appetite for instead of this thing, instead of this thing?" This is our mission. This is our purpose. To realize that we have to daven, say, "Hashem, I need your help." Three times a day, every time I come to you, "Hashem, I want to see, I want to feel, I want to know your presence everywhere in everything that I do. I want to feel it." It doesn't come on its own. It's hard. We've been learning for many years now. I sent you a picture that recently popped up on my phone, the picture one of the original Living with Emunah shiurim. It was a handful of you sitting around my dining room table. And it's been a long time. We've been learning together. And every week it takes work. And last week I didn't give this shiur. I can only speak for myself. There was a little dip. You skip a workout, it's harder to get back on. Twice as hard. You got to work out that emunah muscle every day, every week. And if you skip a workout, the next one's even harder. It's harder to get back on. So, to live with this emunah, but we need it. Keep calm and carry on. To be able to go through life with its ups and downs, and whatever it's going to throw, the curve ball it throws our way then it's not a favor of Hashem. Sometimes we think Amun is a gift is a favor of Hashem. He's our master, he's our king, he's our God and so I have to believe in him. I'm his loyal servant so I have to have Amun in order to believe in him. Living with Amun is not a favor to him. Living with Amun is a way of life that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. To find the serenity and the tranquility and the peace of mind that no matter when is an airport going to open up, when am I going to get a flight, when am I going to get out, what's going to be myself, my children. We never know. You can either go through that and lose your mind or you can go through that with peace of mind. What's the difference? The Amun. It's that recognition. He's in charge, he's in control. I surrender and I submit to him. I let go and I let God and I'm embracing wherever I am cuz this is where I'm meant to be and you never know. You never know. I saw another website. It was a QR code to find out who's single in your miklat. Did you see this one too? I can't wait to hear the stories of shidduchim that come from being in a public bomb shelter and then figuring out who else is single in that public bomb shelter. It's great. Embrace your place. Once you're in the shelter, embrace your place and find out who else is single there. Find out. Hopefully it's somebody who didn't just run out of the shower. They use the website. Embrace your place. So imagine that's the the Yiddishe cup. That's the Jewish mind and the Jewish attitude. I'm in a shelter, let's find out who else is single here. I'm in a shelter, let's have a kumsitz, let's have a bracha, let's share a dvar Torah. I'm in a shelter, this is where we're meant to be. Who am I meant to meet? What conversation am I meant to have and what's my mission in this shelter? Maybe my mission is just to not lose it. That's a big mission. To just stay calm, that's my mission. You don't have to find the cure for cancer in the bomb shelter. You don't have to make world peace in the bomb shelter. You don't have to make shidduchim in the bomb shelter. Maybe that person's mission is just to not lose their mind. That's already a very lofty high mission. But wherever we are and whatever we're doing, whether you land on the plane and am I going to make it and will I be at the Shabbaton, or whether you're in the bomb shelter, whatever's going on, say, "This is my place. What's my mission?" Embrace your place. What's my mission? What am I meant to do? Why am I here? Next, what do I do with this? Not panic, not frustration, not resentment, not anger, not worry. Now lean in. I'm here already. Good, now what? I'm here. Now what? Who am I meant to meet? What conversation am I meant to have? What difference am I meant to make? It's hard. It's hard in that moment. You're losing it. So that's what we daven. Siyata Dishmaya, we ask Hashem, "I need your help, Hashem. I need your help to be able to have the peace of mind, the calmness, serenity, to see you, to feel you, to love you, to know it all comes from you, to feel your hand." There are miracles all around us. Miracles all around us. Big miracles. Not 30,000 chalilah casualties. And big big big big miracles that are going on. Big miracles that those morons keep coming together in public places so we could drop bombs on their heads. Morons, idiot clerics. Hashem is hardening their hearts and he's making miracles. Rav Immanuel said, he gave us license to celebrate Purim yesterday because he said that the miracles of this Purim are even bigger than the miracles of the original Purim. How could you not be romemus, hold your head high as a proud Jew, as a grateful Jew, as a thankful Jew, and celebrate? The miracles are big. But you know, there's also small miracles. Small miracles. I said in the parsha shiur on Monday, we met with Rav Gamliel, the great mekubal. His arm is in a sling. He said he fell out of bed and he broke his arm. So he said, he said he's grateful. You know why? Because now he know he never knew. He's 76 years old. He said for 76 years old for 76 years I didn't know when I say Modani in the morning that I need to thank Hashem I didn't fall out of bed that night. Now I know that Modani in the morning is thank you Hashem I didn't fall out of bed last night. So I'm grateful this happened so I could learn another thing that I'm thankful for that I didn't even realize I need to be thankful for. If you didn't fall out of bed last night, it's a miracle. Especially if you're at a perm suit. If you didn't fall out of bed last night, did you know that from this morning? Did you know that you have to say Modani you didn't fall out of bed? He said another point. I quoted it. He said how long do you think it take to fall out of to fall out of bed? Took a second. It took a moment to fall out of bed. He said how long do you think it will take for my shoulder to heal? He said it's going to take 6 weeks in the sling and then a couple months of rehab. He said to fall it takes a second. But to climb back up it takes time and it takes hard work. It takes spiritual rehab too. This lesson. So here he is 76 years old this great Makubus Sadik it's Bal Khesed it's Tamakhocham it's Makhabus Farha. He's not Hashem. Why here I am serving class so you had to make me fall out of bed. No. He's saying what a beautiful lesson I learned. Modani now I know to be grateful for every night I didn't fall out of bed and look at the lesson I learned from it that I can share with others. It's a whole another level. We're both living on Earth. He's on another planet. He's on another planet. He's unbelievable. That with all the meetings that we had. I think we met with 35 and 4 days. It was unbelievable. It was absolutely extraordinary. So that's a miracle. That's my point. What's going on with this war with Iran are revealed miracles. Miracles miracles miracles. But the fact that you didn't fall out of bed last night that's also a miracle. It's also a miracle. Modani thank you Hashem I didn't fall out of bed. Thank you Hashem. So for those miracles we thank you and we look for you and we see you. We should be with the help of the Shamaya. We should with the help by next week You want to share to be in Jerusalem the victory over all of our enemies as always. We'll send a few minutes questions and answers for those live and in person. Fay.