Part 73: Pay Back the One Who Did You the Greatest Favor

B your to help yourself to some coffee want to thank our sponsors this morning Dana Golani who's sponsoring in memory of her beloved husband bar Ben elazer here thank you very much we remember we remember Brad with a lot of love and fondness and affection he's really a great guy and uh we miss him I can only imagine how much you miss him his alah amen and also sponsored by estd Lupin Forma for M Le who should have a complete and Speedy and painless only the best of health and the best of everything okay we are back inam not because we're learning mam not because we're not not learning but but we're not learning as trying to learn we're learning um parts of it that deal with amuna because obviously that's why we're here we are a unabashed support group for working on our amuna which sometimes sometimes gets hard sometimes feels easy um so this we're going backwards last week we learned I think the 22nd chapter of mam we're not going to skip around this is I think the last time but this is the eighth paric and I think it's also very meaningful I found it very meaningful and that's why I want to share it with you and related to our paraa which is in many ways the paraa of amuna para Bahar which you may be wondering how that is okay so the eth chapter of Miss M who lived in pwa Italy and he's discussing kinas hasus right the M which is working off of the of a Great ttic Sage taught us the original 12-step program the original 12-step program was not about recovery from a particular substance or lifestyle it was a 12-step program for how to achieve Perfection what are the qualities what are the character traits what are the things that we need to gain and learn in order to arrive at a place ofus a place of perfection and in the G gives us that formula and the takes the formula and devotes a chapter several chapters to each of the qualities and he does it brilliantly because he talks about defining each quality talks about what we need to do to pursue each quality and then he talks about what's going to prevent us from arriving at that quality in fact a few minutes ago at the class the 10 minutes of meaning um we're still doing the opening chapter the introduction the ram says specifically there that in life not only is it important to know what your goal is but you have to anticipate and predict what will be the pitfalls the obstacles what's going to prevent you from achieving that goal and you have to navigate and eliminate them from you because you could set a goal and you can know the destination and then three steps into the journey you fall in a hole or wind blows you off course and then how does it help that you have the goal the destination if you can't successfully Traverse the journey so it's not only about setting the goal and this can be true in weight loss or exercise it can be true in daving or learning it could be true in amuna it can be true in relationships could be true in marriage or parenting that not only is it about setting the goal but it's about charting the course looking and anticipating and removing the Manos the impediments that are going to knock us off so one of the ideas in this Formula One of the 12 steps is what he call zus zus is alacrity it's Zeal it's enthusiasm zus is waking up with energy ready to go that you're not lazy and procrastinating and apathetic and you're not subject to time which the Torah tells us just like bread just like flour and water can become bread or matah so to our attitudes if we procrastinate if we're lazy if we push off then then we can turn our into we turn our lives into why do now what I could do later that attitude should be why do later what I could do now when a Mitzvah presents itself to you you had this thought I should really check in on this person I'll get to it you'll never get to it that minute text that minute make a phone call that minute do whatever it is you set your mind to don't push off to later what you could do right now that's the quality of zus Z is not about how fast you're going it's not about gaining speed but it's about the attitude you bring to what you do it's about not being lazy procrastinating but waking up with a sense of enthusiasm and get going okay so again we're not studying we're not going according to the order but but this chapter jumps out in terms of so what are the means for acquiring how do you transform your life so that when the alarm goes off you jump out of bed well first of all if you have to have had enough sleep if you don't get enough sleep it's going to be very hard to jump out of bed but how do you not just jumping out of bed this Reus you jump to do you know you meet those people they high energy you're like you know it's either contagious and energized or you're just exhausted being around them but one one of the other there's this high energy there's a high energy um I I was with Charlie Harari on two occasions recently last week Charlie Charlie's a fantastic guy I hope we're going to bring him back next year but but just Charlie's arm movements when he's talking to you is like more than running a marathon you know the high energy that it exudes that that zus says it's the same formula for which we acquires the hero her is what he earlier identified as one of the characteristics zus is a life of caution now caution doesn't mean you're so conservative you're so cautious you never take risks you never are fun you're never spontaneous he doesn't mean caution in that sense um we'll leave it for another time when we stud what what caution means the simar STS there're two sides of the same coin and the one is being cautious in other words you don't want to wake up up with such enthusiasm Zeal energy that you're alacrity you're running to greet the day that in the meantime you're running over people or in the meantime you're running right off the off a cliff you can't be functioning at such a high energy that you're imprudent that you're doing stupid things foolish things that you're sabotaging you no success so zus is caution plotting it out understanding impediments understanding risks risk assessment and then Z says once you've done that go for it put everything you have into it they two sides of the same coin and when a person discovers the truth of the greatness of Mitzvah and our duty to perform them the Mitzvah are not a burden they're not there to restrict our pleasure in life they are the formula for finding meaning in life for finding satisfaction in life if you make a br before you eat and after you eat and you eat only kosher food your entire experience of eating it's going to be transformed to a Holy Experience you're going to feel so good about it better about it so then you'll be inspired towards the serving hem and you will not recoil from it so what is it that will invigorate this Awakening how do we arouse within ourselves that that desire that yearning that go get attitude that high energy it's very simple says it is the mindfulness to constantly and keenly be aware of the goodness in our lives of the good things that are happening in our lives and the great wonders Hashem does for us from the mo from the day that were born until our last day here on Earth you have two eyes that are working your ears are working your feet are working you were able to drive a car to get here you're able to sip the coffee you're able to eliminate what you drank you're able to you're way ahead of the game so we find all kinds of narish kite and we manufacture problems I don't get along with this one and create family problems with that one you know the definition of a dysfunctional family it's any family with more than one person in it so so we manufacture we manufacture family problems we manufacture problems in the community or with our institutions or with our leaders we manufacture and and aggravate give ourselves AGA over and now some some problems we manufacture those could all be eliminated just go with the flow just just just let it go right those can easily let go and then there's real problems we haven't manufactured money problems financial problems but you know what they're just money and I don't mean to minimize them for the people going through them if you don't know where your next meal is coming from or how you're paying the rent it's more than just money but it's money it's money is fungible money is replaceable money you can access you never know where money could come come from and it's money but health and wellness and and our faculties they're just if we woke up with them who said you were entitled to it who said you were entitled to wake up with it you were it you're so worthy of it you did something for it who said who said You Know by before 8:00 this morning I be I became aware of just two horrifically sad things just people suffering illness disease just just terrible a person who can't swallow is having a feed two put in today another person who's diagnosed with a horrific illness you just you're able to swallow you're able to enjoy your food you tasted it went down this person has no hope of ever swallowing it that's it permanent done eating that way is done for now on it'll be a a Jeep Peg so just you could swallow food W that's it you're ahead of the game you're ahead of the game imagine if we woke up with that attitude I woke up it's working my sop I can swallow that's it what a day wow what a day it's hard it's hard cuz we we anything that we become used to and anything that we feel entitled towards it's hard to show appreciation for it's supposed to be that way I'm supposed to be able to swallow I'm supposed to be able to walk I'm supposed to be able to see until you can't until you can't when I ruptured my achilles and I was on that faka scooter for several months and six months of rehab and and what it took to shower and what it took to to get from here across the room and I couldn't get across the room while carrying a cup of coffee or water and and and just I I sometimes think about that because you know that path is the one that I fell off my scooter once a day for several months so sometimes when I'm walking now that just strike me like yeah you know how lucky I am both my feet are working wow wow so unfortunately it takes being without in order to appreciate having that capacity you had strep throat it was like swallowing razor blades you couldn't taste anything you thought I'll never be able to eat again and this is miserable and and when we got better you're wow wow so we lose it because we feel entitled to it and we take it for granted but if we have the mindfulness if we keep a gratitude Journal there's a million apps you could download right now that are a gratitude Journal they force you three things a day to show gratitud and you can't just do the same you know glad I'm grateful I'm alive and I have roof over my head and I have what those are important but you really identify I'm grateful today this worked out I'm grateful I got to go there I'm grateful this happened because the more that you contemplate and see these things because the more you're aware and you live mindfully of the blessings in our life oh my car started I remember when I wasn't sure if my car was going to start oh I was able to buy that thing I remember when I wasn't able to it'll draw you to the provider the source of all that goodness every now and then I see someone who did a big favor for me or I feel indebted to and right away I feel like I wonder if I said thank you enough maybe I'm going send another note maybe I'm going to write them a text maybe I'm going to buy them a gift maybe I'm going to send them a card because just being in the presence of the person who did that great favor for you is a reminder you know what I I owe them and I want to make sure they know how much I appreciate them and I want to anticipate what can I do for them right that happens we all have people in our lives who've done favors for us so that's what the ra is saying the more we can daily hourly but certainly frequently the more we can see Hashem and go oh yeah yeah I forgot hasm did a favor for me I woke up today I forgot hasm did a favor for me I can see I can walk I can feel I can hear I'm success I have whatever is in my life I have to send them a card called daving and say thank you I have to show appreciation I have to dedicate my life to his service because you know what he wants in return the aod that he wants is for us to repair his world that's what he wants that's what he wants there's no one in any situation there is no person on Earth it doesn't matter what your situation is there is no person on Earth who doesn't have something to be grateful for something something does that mean that their overall lot in life is fair not necessarily there are people who are dealt a grossly unfair deck of cards a grossly unfair hand unfair seemingly unjust and when we D in for them we protest to the Reon Shalom we say from our finite limited human perspective this is unfair this is unjust we beg you we appeal to you to change it but even that person who's been dealt that terribly grossly unfair hand everyone says that I'm whether you're rich or poor whether you're healthy or ill who doesn't see something in their situation we have encountered terminally ill people who on their death said you know I'm so lucky that Hashem made this thing work out that I got 10 more days and my family flew in and it's unimaginable I'm so lucky crazy and I always say there's the person who stubbed their toe and they're like there's no God I stubbed my toe it's stung for 20 seconds and there's no God I'm not I'm exaggerating a tiny bit I can tell you as a rabbi I have dealt with and I regularly deal with people who are going through the UN imaginable healthwise treatment wise diagnosis wise who live with this amuna which is is just unimaginable who are living in another plane and then you deal with people who like I have a migraine there's no gun there's no God I have a migraine it's not right there's no God my head hurt for five minutes today and and I why would a god do that so the situation is not what determines the attitude and the evidence is the people who've been in every single situation who've been able to be the Arbiters of their attitude so all depends on what we're looking at is there eye on the suffering is our eye on the goodness is there eye on what we should be grateful for is our eye on what we should be complaining about if you're rich and if you're healthy you certainly you're the least likely to say thank you because you know you forget God and you feel most entitled but the person who has their health and the person who has wealth or Comfort should be the first one lining up to sayon thank you so much and the poor person the poor person with no matter what their situation is today somehow there's food in their mouth and the shelter over their head it's a miracle somehow scaming scrimping working toiling borrowing somehow it gets done and that's a miracle and that too is a that too obligates saying thank you you know again I'm not minimizing I deal with people with financial problems every day and my heart goes out and I can't imagine the pain and we should all be with empathetic towards them I'm not minimizing it but I can tell you that the poorest person in our community today is living a lifestyle commensurate with the richest person decades ago the poorest people in our world still have smartphones and often still have cable TV and still have a car which is not 200,000 miles on it and still right I'm not minimizing I'm not minimizing it's hard and everything is relative and it's difficult and there's anxiety and there's fear and there's known and I'm not minimizing it but there's something to be grateful to Hashem for still that in the end of the day bills are are somehow paid they it's not like the Great Depression stories of people sitting on the side of a street malnourished desperate dehydrated dying of hunger in our Jewish world today we will never allow someone to die of hunger it can't and it won't happen we find a way to help someone pay their rent we find a way we have aabas with 35 families on it we find away we it just won't it won't happen we won't allow it to happen so that person has what to be grateful for too that if they live not only in Antiquity if they lived in recent times they might be starving in the side of a road and die of hunger that cannot and will not happen in a Jewish Community today the sick person he strengthens himself during his sickness and suffering doesn't allow him to send to the Grave grave that Hashem calls him on that the person is alive and there's hope of treatment and there's hope of it turning around and there's hope of a cure being discovered as long as there's breath in their nostrils There's Hope and even if there's not hope and even if it's the end but if there's a minute of Consciousness and there's a minute of connection then there can be a minute of Joy I remember Jerry Han of blessed memor so generous to our 100 day campus so he made the conscious decision this goes back a very long time ago he must have passed away already 15 16 years ago longer 17 years ago so he was on dialysis and he made the decision to stop the dialysis which is a Hally permissible decision to arrive at with certain variables and he knew if you if you need dialysis and you choose to stop it you basically know the timetable of how long you have on Earth it was one of the most extraordinary things I ever saw in my life because with that timetable he was surrounded by his family by Lynn by children by grandchildren and every moment was precious and it faded and it faded but it wasn't a vigil of death of mourning it was a vigil of celebrating life and of connection and of family and of taking advantage of every moment that would be left now again that's it's it's not always possible people are in certain different conditions but that was a choice it was a choice that he made this is how I want to leave this world and I want to leave it with this attitude and with this perspective and with this feeling and I want to embed those memories and that was a choice that was a choice says there is no one here on God's Earth there's no one on earth who no matter what their situation and again I'm not minimizing Mother's day is this Sunday it's a torturous day for some for many if you're struggling and desperate to have a child if you're desperate to get married so you even have the hope of having a family within marriage Mother's Day is the worst day on your calendar you don't want to go on the internet social media you don't want to see what everyone's writing about each other and the breakfast of delivering to one another it's a miserable day so someone's struggling with infertility somebody struggling with illness somebody struggling with unemployment someone struggling with a lack of Shalom bias somebody struggl there's no shortage I can spend the next four hours listening the kind of struggles not minim they're real they're real but we compound our struggles when we refuse to see the good in our life despite them we can find the strength to engage our struggles and to overcome them or to endure through them if we could at the same time find something to be makto for the words Mak is to see the good it's interesting it's called you have to see the good you have to look for it you have to imate if gratitude was so easily you would have to look for it it would just overwhelm you but the reason it takes effort to identify it to see it and to say thank you for everyone you say you can say everyone has a mother everyone has a mother some don't have mothers who are still here but have either a child or right so there's something to tap into with it right if you're alive if you exist you have a mother who gave birth to you and whether she is still here or she's no longer here there's something to be grateful for even on that day which otherwise could be for some a source of pain here is talking about in the course in the sense of spending the time to look to identify to recognize the good in our life so that we feel gratitude but also so that we are charged to go on our mission meaning if you met a doctor who did something great for you right the surgeon who healed my achilles who sewed up my achilles so I've see him on very rare occasions but I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and I think did I ever say thank you enough that I do something more enough if he needs something for me I'll do whatever it is because look what he did for me so if we recognize that Hashem is the ultimate surgeon and lawyer and banker and he's provided everything that we have then we feel like well what does he want me to do sometimes people are generally very appreciative often they're not but sometimes when they say Rabbi you did X Y and Z you know what's your honorarium for that wedding for that funeral for that this for that that and I always say not because I'm a hero but takes care of me I have a a life that I can afford to send make a donation to the best thing you could do for me will give me the greatest joy is help me with our help me with our scholarship help me with our whatever so says you feel indebted to me here here's how you can thank me help me repair my world go change the world go care about somebody who's neglected who's alone who's shut in go support the downtrod and the fall go fight for justice and righteousness go do mitzvos you want to change my world go teach the world through mitzah how do you make the the greatest kesem we think the big there are a lot of different kesem that we make beautiful kesem that we can make all the time you know one kesem you turn the you return the change that you were given too much change in public so you gave it back you made sure to say as a Tor Jew I want to give this back to you because you made a mistake in giving it to me you shouldn't just say here's the change you should say I'm a Jew I'm an observant Jew and my moral code tells me so let it be the kesem Let It Be the so we think it has to be some extraordinary but you know the the David CH quoted mosha M finds his dra says how do you fulfill K to you how do you fulfill the Mandate of Kem so the rabbis told us when we do mitz with mindfulness with awareness when we're tapping into their depth and we're showing the world this is how we relate to time this is how we relate to food this is how we relate to modesty this is how we relate to relationships this is how we relate to and we have something to say about absolutely everything not just food Torah guides Us in every way gave it talked last night about intimacy the Torah has a perspective and a formula there's nothing that's that's off base so there's nothing that's out of bounds you know our Torah unlike other religions that says Holiness is by avoiding those activities for us the rambam his Mish Tor Yad is 14 is made up of 14 books and the book that's called kadha his book called Holiness is the laws of eating and the laws of sex the laws of intimacy I would have made the book of Holiness the laws of yipper and the laws of shabas what's his book K his book kadha isos The Laws of eating the laws of intimacy that's Holiness yeah in Judaism that's Holiness so Torah has something to say about every aspect of our lives and when we bring the Torah perspective to every aspect of Our Lives as I get dressed I say is this what hashm wants me to wear as I eat I say is this what hasm wants me to eat how he wants me to eat where he wants me to eat when he wants me to eat is this the the amount he wants me to eat right if when I speak does hasm want me to say this does hasm want me to be listening to this does hashm want me to be watching this does HM want me to be involved in this business venture some want me to be at that gym does hasem want me to if if if hashem's voice is informing and inspiring every decision every choice every Behavior everything we do then the Mitzvah the platform for how we're transforming the world so you're grateful to hasem he did a he did a good for you he did a favor for you so don't don't send them flowers don't send them chocolates send him mitzvos that's what he wants send him mitzvos change his world that's how you say thank you if you see all the good all the success everything you have there are people who are kind and generous and gracious and we have it from them but ultimately they are the means we really have it we really have it from from Hashem who's not going to want to repay the favor who's not going to want to be an evid hasem to serve Hashem as a way of saying thank you for all that good that we have for all that good that we have I combined the three things he says that I talked about with I combined them into one here to the people who are smart you realize that we have an obligation to serve hm in this way if you're on a more lowly level and that doesn't do it for you then if you come from it out of a sense of fear that if you want reward if you want things to be good if you want hasm to continue to invest in you you got to give him a pay off you got to pay him back not a pay off you've got to give him a return on the investment and for the majority how does it Rel to our para our par Bahar the first of our two paros has in it the Mitzvah of the Mitzvah of the seventh year it is a sabatical year for the land shab it's a sabatical for you can't plant your field you don't tend to your Vineyard you got to leave it all fallow for an entire year the farmer looks at his field for entire year the farmer looks at his portfolio hands off can't touch can't plow plant Harvest sell nothing nothing for an entire year so the a tells us the following amazing blessed Hashem blesses his angels who are they're described as the Mighty Warriors who listen to Hashem who are the Mighty Warriors who listen to Hashem that Hashem blesses and calls them his angels so the measure says these are the farmers who observe unless do you think that shita is something from Antiquity it's from the time of the B mikash from the time of the gar farmers in Israel today observe there's a big movement towards not relying on that the farmer sells his farm to an Arab so he can continue to work it there's a big movement towards towards observing shita farmers who are selling their their Farm in fact it's a organization that's raising money to help the farmers because as we'll talk about in one one moment the farmer who observes shita is literally forfeiting salary not for a day not for a week not for a month for an entire year says the med you know a person could do a Mitzvah you could last for a day say Kipper you made it a whole day shabas for some people it's very hard to take off from work to not check their phone to not be in touch with their clients for a whole day of shabas they could do it for a day for a week or they take a month off month off disconnect but an entire year yeah to Forfeit and forego salary rabbis get a sabatical many sabatical half a sabatical full sabatical but it's a paid sabatical it's not a sabatical a sabatical is say Hashem I'm foregoing salary for a year I what's going to pay my bills I don't know I trust you he looks at his field it's Baron it's empty it's Wasteland he looks at his Vineyard it's bar it's empty it's waste says the med is there a is there a mighty warrior who has more self-control and discipline than this farmer who for a year imagine you own a store and for a year you locked the store with a sign that says we'll be closed this year you're a doctor with the practice and for a year you saw your patients you got to go somewhere else for a year I'm not practi ing this year not only do you have the fear of what you're giving up for that year but will they come back I can't imagine will you come back but so has an entire essay about this because what is really all about so on the one hand it's about the land the land needs to rejuvenate and re-energize the land one hand it's about the land but equally or even more who are's who are his angels the it's not about the land land it's about us shita is an exercise in amuna for a year that farmer looks at his land and he has this urge I want to plow I want to tend to I want to I want to plant I want to take care of you I don't want you to sit fow I don't want you to be half Cur to everybody else I want you to produce for me for my family I'm worried but nevertheless the farmer overcomes and says you know what there are things more important than money and for a year so for six years what happens you're you're tending to your your Vineyard you're planting in your field and when you harvest what are you thinking you're thinking you know why I got a great harvest this year because I was so smart when I plowed how I planted the the pesticides I use and how I structured it and and wow I got a big Harvest I brought in the money this year it's all me it's me I invested wisely my marketing and advertising for my store I Str my doctor practice I hired an assistant I opened the new office I rented space for it's all meem says no problem six years you could believe that six years I'll let you believe that seventh year I want you to take off and I want you to recalibrate and I want you to remember that even though six years it's all me I want you to work on amuna I want you to restore that sense of amuna that you can bring into your next six years that you could bring into your next six years to plant in our heart in fact the Torah promises so ask what taka does the farmer eat so Torah says that if the farmer observes then in the sixth year you grow enough for the sixth year the seventh year and the eighth year now what's amazing is I would have thought that if Hashem couldn't make good on that promise how many times did the Jewish people have observed shita yeah once the first time they tried this and they didn't work that's it but we have evidence of sh being observed over and over again which means taka they felt the promise was fulfilled Hashem gave enough in the sixth year to last the 6 sth and the eth year as well so we don't it's a beautiful essay he has for another time but we don't we don't observe a sabatical or at least we don't observe an unpaid sabatical but the notion of of recalibrating and saying you know what I'm not going to work 17 hours a day because I want to be rich I'm going to work a reasonable amount because I want to have time for Total Learning for my family for for my health and Hashem can provide elsewhere using our our live is a way of expressing or tapping into our tapping into our amuna is an exercise of amuna I'll leave you with in last week's para in say it's talking about shabas it's a very funny word six days should six days do your work it says what does mean six days your work shall be done it's a very funny formulation so the the M the the isz and others say that means six days you think you're doing work Hashem is doing the work the seventh day of shabas to remind you that six days it wasn't it was you were the means you were the mechanism you were the instrument through which it happened and through which you drew in the income but it was T you're the junior partner you think you're the senior partner Hashem this was my idea my Brilliance My Success my pride oh yeah thank you also no no no Hashem this was all you thank you for allowing me to be the instrument that it happened he's the senior partner we're the junior partner but it's the most unusual partnership ever because though he's the senior partner and he does 99.9% of what enables its success he lets us keep 90% of the income and he only asks us for 10% he's the senior partner and he only asked us 10% he says you wouldn't be making you'd be making zero without me but I'll tell you what you keep 90% 10% give to my don't even give it to me give it to my other children my I have a lot of children do me a favor just give it to my other children don't even give it to me just 10% just 10% we say 10% it's so much I can't believe I have to give my sir I work so hard for this money when you come from the perspective of he says you know what keep 90% you would have zero without me I'm the brains behind this whole operation meaning I gave you the brains or I am the brains or I orchestrated things for it to be successful but I'll tell you what even though it couldn't happen without me you keep 90% just give back six days go work to conquer but we're not doing it it's being done through US Hashem is allowing us he's enabling us so the ra is saying find time every day to think about what we have to be grateful for you're rich you're poor you're healthy you're sick every person on Earth if they were challenged to identify into be grateful because when we do not only will we have the attitude of gratitude which will create a positive energy in our life but will then want to serve him because we'll want to say thank you to him and that will turn everything around have a great day