Part 72: It’s About Learning How to Walk

good morning everyone it's wonderful to resume our amuna class I want to thank Sarah katuna for sponsoring this morning in memory of mik menel Ben M menel Ben Moshe sh should have and Aliah through our study and commitment to grow in our amuna I also um I ordered online if anyone would like them I have a ton of them Heritage Foundation a few weeks ago we spoke about avoiding gossip and uh two strategies remember shut it down that's what I should actually make stickers that say shut it down or something that sits on the sh table but anyway Heritage Foundation produced these stickers uh one says think before you post and the other says how would I feel if this post was about me they're meant to put on your phone or your laptop and before you engage social media to uh yeah so we have so I don't know want to pass some of them out if anyone likes would like there more then welcome to okay we are continuing in uh the the 21st chapter of and again we're not studying the per shut down you check it we're not studying per but this peric this chapter within it is dealing with which is our subject and that's why we've been going through it so just to remind you because we didn't meet last week um the r laid out the distractions and the um the obstacles to living a life of and talked about the fact fact that you cannot be living a meaningful mindful life if you don't designate time for hisus if you're not designated time for thoughtful contemplation if you're not tapping into the words of D with tum he talked about um and biographies of righteous people stories stories are what move move us stories are what motivate us not reading self-help genre or literature but you read a biography of an amazing person and it gives you the hope and the aspiration that we too can be amazing but what we're up to and hopefully we'll finish this par today is that the ram spells out that the uh biggest challenge to living a most purposeful mindful life the biggest challenge to Leading a happy life and I think our generation is experiencing this really acutely is anxiety is worry is fear people are gripped by fear and anxiety what is what will be what's going to happen how will it happen who will it happen What will be what H what will be when it happens people are very very anxious neurotically anxious about so much some clinically and that needs a clinical treatment we're not minimizing that but even all of us not clinically I'm not saying to the point of needing therapy or medication but just to the point of constantly worrying constantly worrying about everyone and everything and that is a big obstacle it's uh first of all the worry the anxiety is uh is hurting our health our breathing our blood pressure our respiratory cardia it's hurting our health it's hurting our relationship ships because when you're worried it drives people away people don't want to be close to a worrier people don't want to be around negative energy they want to be around optimism they want to be around positive energy they want to be around hope not hopelessness so it's it's hurting our relationships and it's hurting our capacity to experience this world you're never fully present and you're never fully experiencing what you're doing if you're worried and you're and you're anxious and what is the antidote what is the response so that's what we were up to so let's start again from we're on page or 150 again this is chapter 21 in the we may be rereading a little bit of what we've read but so be it we are rereading the factors that lead to the loss of meaning you're not living a mindful present meaningful life if you're worried if you're anxious when a person is preoccupied when you're distracted when you're obsessed by anxiety and the anxiety by the way overwhelms overcomes and grips you so that you become irrational so that you actually end up sabotaging your own success you hurt and compound your problems because your anxiety clouds your judgment you're not making the best decisions you're not having the best conversations and when a person gives you positive feedback a person's giving you feedback or help that can avert your problems because your anxiety you're so anxious you end up hurting yourself it's it's it's something which denies you so without quiet careful contemplation without the ability to step back and say okay what's my situation here's my situation how am I going to deal with my situation and once I've done all that I can do I'm good I'm good beyond that the story we're going to tonight and tomorrow celebrate lagba L is an amazing holiday it's a recent holiday if you read the history of L it's very fascinating we take for granted um it has ancient Roots which it does not um it's really more much more recent particularly the notion of the the bonfires and the cabalistic and meon is all relatively relatively recent and um and the whole institution as a whole really is predicated the idea of Raba students sto dying I mentioned on shabas in the sheer it's a very bizarre holiday if you wake in a kingdom mle the night you say why do we celebrate LBA om why the party why the fireworks why the fire why the food why the music why the dancing they say well what would you say the plague ended Reika student stopped dying so there's two questions on that thees is one who asks in the also the be students stopped dying why did they stop dying because they were all dead because they were all dead they stopped dying because there were no more students to die so you're going to celebrate that LBA the students stopped dying they didn't stop dying because all of a sudden there was a mass Chua movement they didn't stop dying because there was a a mass change that gave them worthiness sto dying because there was no one left to die but even if that's not true except for the five we're going to talk about but even if that's not true even if there were more students and the plague ended who makes a party and celebrates the end of mass death when Jews were liberated at the end of the Holocaust they didn't come out and make a party they regrouped and re-energized did what it took but there wasn't a part why are we celebrating this with a party yes so it's partially that's one component of it but that's more recent that's much more recent that's also he died I'm saying it's that we should Cate his life correct but there were many s was very opposed to the celebrations he says we don't Mark a urite with celebrations we mark it with meaning so it's one thing to sit and study Zohar it's one thing to Mark a UR site with meaning but we don't mark it with with bonfires and barbecues and fireworks well the question is what he meant by hula but but even so that is only one component of the day the other component of the day outside of the more cabalistic circles the main component for people is Rea students so who at the end of a mass death of a tragedy celebrates so the both say we're not celebrating the end of the tragedy what we're celebrating is that Raba did not become hopeless he didn't give up many others would have returned from 24,000 funerals and delivering 24,000 eulogies and paying 24,000 Chiva calls and they would turn it Ina would say I started this when I was 40 years old look at the success I met now it's all gone what's the point I'm done I'm going to retreat sit in a room by myself learn I'm done but he didn't he identified five new students or maybe the five remaining students and through them he renewed and transmitted our whole tah that we have today comes through those five students rasa Weiss points out that we don't have one quote we don't have one Torah teaching from the 24,000 students we don't know their names we don't know who they are we don't know what they stood for we don't know their teachings the entire Torah our entire tradition our entire M comes through those five students it was the fact that he had hope he wasn't hopeless he was positive he didn't give into any negative voice he re-energized and rededicated himself and that is the message so and that's also the message of because the says that when the Romans came to get him first he had in the base hid in the Bas medish and then he went to the cave and 13 years he lived in the cave with his son he came out his son he saw the people working in the farm rebelar couldn't understand why they doing such mundane activity he looked at them with his eyes they burst into flames he was destroying the world they went back into the cave what's the deeper meaning of all that is not for now but what ultimately led him to emerge from the cave permanently so the gamar says that he would take excursions out of the cave every now and then and one time he saw the birds and he saw the bird Hunters sometimes a bird was trapped sometimes a bird wasn't trapped and he came to realize that what determined whether a bird was trapped or wasn't trapped was not the the aim and the wisdom the skill of the Trapper or of the hunter it was the rebon god determined not only do human beings experience Providence not only are we subject to Hashem determining our lives but even a bird which bird will be trapped in which bird will soar that Hashem determines for whatever reason I don't know what the Merit or demerits of a bird are but for whatever reason Hashem determines so says says he goes back into the cave and he says to his son if if a bird which one is trapped and which one is freeze determined by Hashem not by the hunter so all the more so me and you we're worried about the Romans if Hashem wants us to succeed to be free to be safe and secure the Romans can't touch us and if our time has come if it's not the Romans it'll be through something else so what are we hiding in a cave we have nothing to fear if we put our trust and our faith and realize that it all comes from Hashem so they emerge from the cave now does that mean that you go and you buy a home in in Janine or rala because you say it's all from hasem so I'm going to start a new neighborhood in in Janine of course not we've spent a lot of time talking about the balance between initiative and Divine Providence you don't test fate on the one hand but on the other hand once you've done your initiative once you've put in your all once you've done what you can do let go and let God now you sit back and you say and that's where you realize that's what we're tapping into tonight and tomorrow are the holidays of amuna it's exactly what we're we're tapping into what we're tapping into is that notion and that capacity that once I've done everything I can do why would I be anxious to be anxious Kish writes is to deny hashem's existence anxiety anxiety is an act of it's heresy because anxiety means I don't really trust Hashem is going to do what's in my best interest I don't really believe that what's going to happen is what's meant to be I don't really believe that this will be good even if I can't feel how it will be good do you think that someone clinical anxiety could allow themselves to get to that no and I want to be very clear about that what was your question the question is someone who has clinical anxiety someone who who Who's struggling so somebody who has mental health challenge of anxiety to the degree that it's diagnosed I think that I'm sure listening to these Amun not me but being involved in amuna amuna sh amuna messages from whomever and there's no shortage of of of ways to get it today it happens to be which is by the way such a reflection of how desperate our generation is every day I see this like a new Rabbi he put out a book a WhatsApp group a text message a phone call uh whatever and and and it's beautiful no one's competing with one another the more reinforcing there can be about amuna but what does it show if all that's happening what does it show is that there's a desperation that despite our technological breakthrough and despite our affluence and despite our our world we're living in with all of its pleasure people are empty they're they're desperate for the message of amuna the fact that there's this enormous Resurgence of of amuna out there so can it help a person who's clinically diagnosed of course it can help um but it needs I think it needs more and no one should ever suggest that it's all that's needed oh you have depression you have anxiety you need to work on your amuna clearly you have an amuna problem God forbid God forbid any more than you know the person who has a physical illness it's not well you really need to work on your on your amuna problem can amuna help us encounter overcome whatever challenge we have yes but it's not but it's not really the answer so um that's what R here is writing is that what's the biger obstacle it's maid it's robbing you it's stealing it's robbing you of your happiness you could have happiness you could have health physical health emotional health mental health happiness relationship health and what's robbing you of all that anxiety now if you're anxious whether you'll perform that's good in other words if you're concerned and you want to make sure that that drives you that makes you have ambition to do it to do it right to have a good work ethic to be uh not a perfectionist in a in a negative sense then that's great such anxiety I wouldn't even call that anxiety right I gave a big talk in New York on Sunday for the OU I was nervous about it that nervousness that anxiety was good made sure I wanted to prepare and I went over it and I really wanted to do well with it so that anxiety drives you that's good you're nervous about your test you're going to study it's good but once you've studied let go you've done your part now anxiety is ma is robbing you it's robbing you of your happiness of your relationships it's robbing you of living in the moment so let go also brings down there's a in yes it says yes it will be your faith that you had during hard times that will be your strength for salvation the faith you had during the hard times is what going to be your strength that brings salvation it's a in yes 33 the shabas says from this P from this verse we learn the names this is not your asses from this verse we learn the names of the six orders of mishna sh stands for shish mishna the whole oral Torah was divided into six categories six categories how do we learn it from this verse it will be your faith is is the order of mishna that deals with the laws of planting the laws of it's the laws of of of the land of separating shumas andas and the like in its time is said which literally means time that's the order of mish that deals with all the holidays Su rash and so on then you haveen is during hard times is s I don't know the correlation is there yeshu is sik salvation and is s so says why is Amun faith is Satan's run why is the farmer who's planting and plowing and harvesting why why do we correlate that the first order of mishna the first order of talud is learned from that word Amun what's the connection so Rashi there says in the gamar that s is all about agriculture and giving Myer and giving gifts and you're only willing to separate from what you have if you have faith right I see people who are very stingy Frugal they're not willing to get stuck or they're not willing to help some of them are gripped by by fear I worked hard for this money and what will be and what if the economy turns and I'm on a fixed income and I don't know what's going to happen and what if I lose and how can I give to others if I don't know I have enough for myself so the person who lives life in that way who stingy in that way is a lack of amuna is a lack of amuna the very Act of is the affirmation that I know Hashem will always provide me what I need so I'm able to share and help others with what they need so Rashi says that's the connection between s and amuna because the farmer who's willing to tithe from what they bring in right so the the farmer first has to plow and then he plants breaks his back and he nurtures and he then harvests and he brings in his produce that he's literally broken his back to produce and then he takes off 10% and he gives it away yeah it's unbelievable why he worked hard what if he's going to run out of figs or apples or wheat or barley how is he going to sustain his family because amuna he says you know what I can give away because I know I'm confident I'll have enough toos gives a second explanation to writes because says he believes in the Creator and he plants what does believing in the Creator have to do with planting so the says that if you wouldn't plant and you trust Hashem will support you anyway that would Express amuna but once you plant how does that show amuna isn't planting the opposite of amuna you go to work and you work hard maybe that means you don't have Amun says how is planting the expression of amuna so he says the farm has the opportunity through his demeanor to show amuna because the farmer he plows and then he plants the seed and now he waits he waits for the rain will it come will it not come will his crop grow will it spoil will there be an infestation will it be safe and secure what will his what will his demeanor be so he does hisas he does his effort and then he sits back and he waits and he says whatever will be will be I did the best I could I plowed I planted I used pesticides I did everything I could to protect I've done my part now I'm Letting Go letting God and that's says that's what means that he he does his he does his effort and then he's after that he's back sits back and now he trusts in Hashem that Hashem is going to take care of the rest so that's exactly what the ra is saying here that to live a life of amuna is not to be not to fool oneself you can't sit on the couch and think someone's going to drop drop a brown paper bag of cash at your front door if your M you're if you believe in God you know that you have to do your initiative you have to go to work you have to apply for the job you have to invest wisely you have to do your initiative but once you've done it stop worrying stop worrying what's going to be and what's going to happen send out your resumés take your interviews and then realize whatever will be is meant to be and in the right time and the right job opportunity and whatever one is going through as painful and as difficult and without minimizing that because there's real suffering and there's real difficulty but one can go through it and be broken by it one can go through it and be stronger from it one can go through it and become hopeless one can go through it and have great hope RAB AA it only forged his hope more and tonight and tomorrow will tap into the energy RAB AA gave us with L om of Second Chances shimai saw those birds he didn't go back to the cave and hide under a rock literally he said I'm not subject to the Romans I'm not subject to this interviewer interviewer it's the sh so when it's the right job and when it's the right opportunity it will work as long as I do my initiative so why am I worrying why am I up at night and why am I have shallow breathing and my blood pressure through the roof and I'm destroying my health and I'm fighting with my husband or or with my parents or with my children and I'm I'm absolutely forfeited and conceding any happiness that I could have all self-imposed sabotaging my own life and happiness because I'm so gripped and consumed by worry and by anxiety anxiety never ever made anything better the anxiety never got you the job never feed up the traffic never got rid of the illness never made the children give you more Nas they may never produce the shom bias anxiety has only only it's poison it's not medicine so stop taking poison start taking medicine and moon is the medicine and worry is the poison and they don't go together their oil and water they don't mix in fact if they go together the anxiet undermines the amuna so you know you go to the amuna that was great amuna beautiful ra that was amazing that was Fant that moved me and an hour later you're on the phone with your child with your this so anxious and what's going to be and I'm so worried about my K about my an about the flight I have to take about the thing about CH about the investment about the doctor's appointment so what was the what was the point of going to the Amun here they don't go together they don't they don't go together they don't go together they're oil and water their medicine and poison if you pop a pill the you pop the antibiotic but then you take a poison it's not gonna help amuna is the medicine and getting rid of the the anxiety is is is taking more amuna pills that's exactly what we need to do and to live with anxiety is an act of heresy yes I think in the problem that I experience is not not having enough but how do I know that my enough oh when when to find that balance excellent everyone knows rub and taler who's doing an incredible series for women in our Sho just began it began this week right everyone should make sure you see that we have a foot page flyer do not miss it world renowned educator author and so honored that she comes to AR that she could be giving this 100 times better so thank you for coming but everyone should sign up and go we're very honored the talers are living in our community I don't know how long hopefully longer to be near their children they're here on sabatical um but take advantage of the opportunity to learn from them Rabbi tar is many many many gives onas for men during the week and and riton T is giving so makes a very important point which is that anxiety comes in when you're were talking about the balance between and we've spent time on this right that you can do too much so if you go to work every day you run a hedge fund and you're you're work from 6:00 a.m. to midnight every day if Hashem wants you to have millions of dollars you can have it and be home at 8:00 p.m. and if he doesn't want you to have millions of dollars you can work till 2: a.m. and you're not going to have it so there's such a thing as overas and overas is a lack of amuna if you're working so to say too hard now that doesn't mean that your boss has asked you and if you don't stay you can't tell your boss your boss says I need you to stay late tonight and you say I have auna so I'm going home I'm going home early let's say you're fired and then Hashem says the amuna was the job I gave you but I'm saying let's say you're Your Own Boss and say you're just going to work harder because you're going to get more money you're going to take on another opportunity another case another job another investment at Point at some point you have to say die is one of his names is sometimes you have to be able to say enough I have enough or it's enough time I put in for Hashem to make me rich in that time so there's such thing is overas but there's also suchal thing as under Aus where you say every day at 2:00 I'm going home I want to take a nap I want to go fishing I want to go I want to exercise at the gym I go home and I have amuna that I work from 10: to 2 and is going to provide that's also not auna so you could have over AAS you could have under AAS and like the Three Bears you got to get just the exact right not too hot not too cold it's got to be just the right amount how do you know what the right amount is that's a mystery and first of all it's separate for every person and I think that the metric or measure to figure out what the right amount is is what's reasonable with in your line of look work within your profession what's reasonable what do reasonable people work and when you go beyond reason it's too much isas and if you go what's less than what's reasonable to be working and think you'll make a livelihood then it's lack of hisas so finding that balance is very important so you could have anxiety over whether I'm finding the right balance but that's also a negative at some point you have to say you know rman was very big believer and this is an extreme version of amuna R was a very big believer that one shouldn't be anxious even within the mistakes and sins they've done believed you were meant to make that mistake so should you learn from it should you have remorse over it should you pledge never to repeat it yes that's the Ram's formula of chuva but what are you going to do sit on the couch and be anxious and tense because you did a because you had a indiscretion because you had a miscalculation because you made a mistake it was meant to be right forget I won't I won't give the example in the world of but let's say you've been doing well and you're eating and then you had a bad eating day you gave in you were over tired so you didn't have the discipline and you over indulge and you ate all the things you weren't supposed to eat so the next day what are you going to do sit there and beat yourself up and be tense and have anxiety and be anxious over your bad eating day so what will that do it'll make you go need to eat another pint of ice cream because you're so anxious that yesterday you had a pint of ice cream so would say you were meant to have Embrace that day nothing Theon orchestrates in this world he made you over tired he made that pint of ice cream appear in your freezer he made it fall out of the freezer when you open the freezer so you couldn't help but eat a little bit before you put it back or or eat it because there was no space for it you're such a sadic so so would say the got orchestrated things so that doesn't mean you're excused from it learn from it don't repeat it feel bad about it but don't be anxious about it don't be anxious about it that's how far anxiety goes in robbing us and sabotaging us from any happiness whatsoever let's I said we were going to finish this this week so let's fly a little bit here true about the worldly pleasures the more you're drawn to the worldly pleasure if you're trying to keep up with the Joneses you need that brand name you need that car you need that logo you need that emblem you need to brand you need to keep up you know who's keeping up there's last week a big study came out a survey that was done by a um by a a debt company did a big study and it said I hope I don't offend anyone in certain age categories here but that Millennials are going into incredible debt over fomo that was the headline that Millennials will suffer the non-millennials don't even know what fomo is fomo is fear of missing out fear of missing out so if you grew up without the internet so you only knew what you were doing maybe you had a friend or two who told you where they were or what they were doing but you couldn't live with anxiety over what everyone else is doing because you only had access to what you were doing but now where you look on your device every 3 seconds with Snapchat Instagram and Facebook and Twitter You're Not only living your life but simultaneously you're living the life of everyone you ever met or didn't meet or is connected to someone you met so now you know what they're eating and where they're vacationing and what they're experiencing what they're having and the new dress they bought in the car they bought and the nas that their kid is the smartest in kindergarten and you're now experiencing life not only your life you're experiencing simultaneously the life of your 5,000 closest friends and that is that is not only contributing to the enormous spike in anxiety and depression and suicidal ideation but it's also for the millennial population it is exploded in debt in debt why because previous generations understood that you need to make Bar Mitzvah and weddings you want to buy a house you need to someday retire so you need to have discipline in your finances because you need to have savings you need to have save for a rainy day there's a whole bunch of reasons but Millennials who it's not a knock on Millennials I'm telling you a survey it's not just and it's not just Millennials we all have this you could be 80 years old and on social media and we all have it but now there's like fomo I got to go to that place I got to buy that thing I got to try that restaurant I have to experience that thing so that fomo is causing people to spend beyond their means and to go into debt in order to be able to afford it that's what's going on in the world today right surveys and statistics and data and studies that are that are showing that why am I telling you this oh because when you're drawn to that world of enticement so no one on Facebook's like I just finished an amazing shear and you have fomo oh my gosh I missed that Shear I got to go to that shear I'm going to start going to that Shear right that the fomo was not over the shear the blar I just had an amazing daving I just said to Hill him like I've never said it before you don't you don't see people posting that nor do you see fomo over that which Hal we would Hal we would go into into spiritual debt over our spiritual ambition and Cravings so ra says when you live a life of fomo when you live a life of keeping up with the Joneses and competing and so on it's going to draw you away also because why you're going to have crazy anxiety I can't make a barit that competes with that bar our logo is not going to be as impressive as that logo my 13-year-old son who's now a brand and a logo and a Enterprise and a corporation who's got a logo at 13 years old I can't keep up with those centerpieces I can't keep up with that whatever so if you live a life of measuring yourself against everyone else it's going to drive unbelievable levels of anxiety in you says the and when you have the anxiety you're going to struggle to have the amuna you struggled out the amuna you're going to make bad decisions and you're going to say you know what take out three more credit cards we'll put it on the credit card but how could we make a sh that's not going to compete we need 10 bottles of the bestelling single malt and so on so and as our Rabbi said what we're going to earn this year you think that you're working hard now you can adjust that what you're going through right now what your finances are was determined on rashash it's determined now it's a whole separate Su it's a very complicated one so what does that mean so why don't I stop working the rest of the year it's already been determined how much I'm gonna get can I sit on my couch so it's been determined what you're able to get not that you'll get it what what the what the limits what the boundaries of what you can get that's been determined you could work a gazillion hours you're not going to make more money than what hasem determined that rash would be the max you can make that's it and you can work really hard and be nervous you're not going to get by you won't make less than what hasem determined would be the bottom of what you can make this year and what are you worried about your competition your rival rry and business that rival can't touch your income I'm giving it Shu our theme for Shu I'll start already advertising for Shu our theme for shabus this year is professional and Pious being a Jew in the workplace and we're going to talk about fantastic topics really interesting topics so one of my she my middle of the night sheer or 12:00 at night she is um is all about uh kosher competition should the orb be regulating which restaurants and Caterers and stores can open up and not open up and they conserve I'm pretty suicidal that's why I'm giving this she so um but right I'm not this is not the conclusion of this year but you shouldn't fear your competition why because God runs the world he can have enough for your competition and for you you could have no competition and fail you could have all the competition in the world and succeed enormously so the moment you become ruthless with your competition it's a lack of amuna you're undercutting the competition you're stifling the competition you think you have to have a monopoly against the competition you're threat by the competition and if or when that happens it's a lack of Amun because is the one who determines what you have your competitor can't take it away a person might have been able to sit and do nothing for the recognition maybe in the way that originally designed the world you could have sat doing nothing and Hashem would provide nonetheless but you know we made a big mistake our ancestors made big mistakes and the consequence was that we have to work hard if we're going to sew so therefore we cannot access parasa without doing work and the work is not sticking the key in your you know the biggest fora is having a job it's like a tax which has to be paid by the whole of mankind and it cannot be evaded right you can't earn income at least you can't do it legally if you don't pay taxes on it it's kind of the prerequisite to earning money is you got to pay taxes you can't escape it you can try to escape it and it will catch up with you yeah and then the consequence will be much worse than whatever you had to pay in taxes so shom says working hard is the taxes we pay to earn our income we don't have the luxury of sitting back and the money just Flows In that's the way hashm orchestrated things I said I spoke on on Sunday in New York um right before me Charlie Harari spoke Charlie's fantastic speaker he's the best so he gave a great mush he talked about with our children he said you know your child is starting a walk you hold a lollipop so the child STS we're we're cruel he said it is only Charlie can with his arms flailing and high energy I was exhausted just listening to him I needed a nap his energy is like so through the roof he's absolutely amazing Charlie so he said P the lollipop and the kid who's learning to walk you know stumbles takes that step and when they're about to grab the lollipop what do you do you pull the lollipop back a little bit so the kid continues to walk and then your child gets there what do you do you pull back a little bit more the child lunges forward until we're we're cruel as parents right that's what we're doing now the child thinks what are they doing what is this exercise why is their parent doing that with the big smiley face and encouragement come on you can do it what does the child think it's all about the lollipop child parent wants to give the child lollipop and the child needs to arrive to be able to give the lollipop the child the foolish young naive child thinks it's all about the lollipop but the parent understands what's it all about I'm trying to teach you to walk and I want you to walk to me so Charlie said that's exactly we think it's all about we're doing for the parnasa we're doing for whatever we're doing that's a lollipop hasem says you silly child I keep pulling the lollipop back because I want you to learn to walk and I want you to walk closer to me so we right it's a great metaphor thank you Charlie Harari but don't think that the is what's working so it's not that the effort or the initiative it's what yields the results no is what's walking what's get the child he didn't say this part Charlie Charlie I'm adding on to what you said right he didn't say this part it's not that the child walking is what got the kid the lollipop what got the kid a lollipop parents cuz the parent desperately wants the child to be happy all a parent wants is to put a smile on the child's face that's all they need a lollipop all all the parent wants is to make the child happy so the child wants to give the lollipop so the walking is not what got the lollipop that's so silly it's just that if you don't walk I can't give you the lollipop why because I'm trying to teach you to walk and I want you to walk closer to me but really I want to give you the lollipop your walking is not what earn the lollipop what what earn the lollipop is that I love you I want to give you the lollipop but I'm giving you the lollipop to initiate and motivate you to want to walk and to want to walk close to me so says don't think that you're working late at night and your interviews and your effort and your initiative is what yields the result no hashem's got a storehouse he's got an oar that is filled it's overflowing with braa that he wants to give us he just designed a world that we need to trip and fall and stumble and walk to him in order to be able to get it once you do this that's your part you've done your part it's like the key to unlock the blessing that's wait behind the door Hashem has designated for us unbelievable blessing but the key to unlock the door is the effort that we have to take I shared this a thousand times with you but I'll share it again the me the lesson I learned from my brother-in-law who's a lawyer he says that you know he always has to remind himself he's an excellent lawyer um but the networking you know some people love the networking and live for that some love the law so every now and then he's to remind himself you know renew his his networking to drum up more business to make it rain so he schedules a networking trip to come in from Israel he has all kinds of meetings people he's done business with before prospects friends and then he goes back to Israel and he says inevitably every time he does it new business comes in and in very the new business has nothing to do with all the meetings that he had and he understands that so you'll say well what am I bothering for why do I come in and have all these meetings it's exactly the key to unlock the door where all the new business is behind is showing your effort your initiative the initiative doesn't always correlate with the results so in the world of you think that you're going to go to this event and you're going to hand your resume to that person you're going to meet with that sh and then all of a sudden at a left field someone who knew someone set you up and you got married it had nothing to do with all your efforts you say you know I did the effort but it was a waste really it came from leftfield no the fact that I did the effort was what I needed to show Hashem so that he could provide it from leftfield you're interviewing for jobs so you send out your resumes you schedule the interviews in the end they lead to nothing but someone knew someone who knew someone who helped you get a job so no the rest of it wasn't a waste it was that was the key to unlock that was the code to unlock the bra that was waiting behind the door we're up to the last paragraph the proper path is the path of their Torah their life of mindfulness of Torah of that was the core of their being and the Mal was so when you go on that networking trip or you send out your resume now you have to explain the res or the work resume when you send out the resumés so the resume is the tel that's the secondary the is the the little formula the little that you should be saying that as I make this meeting this appointment hasem that I'm doing my you should grant me my the is the Torah the is the the core the foundation is to be mindful is to turn to Hashem let's say you're because I'm not so opposed to I had a key in my kala somebody was so concerned they dropped off delicious kala with a key so I say it's a schoola for the dentist if you don't find the key before you B so so but the key of the the key the key of the key in the kala is not the key it's that when you eat the key you're reminded that the man fell from sh is a reminder of the man is from I have am inem it's not that oh I put a key so even though I'm a heretic and a Cofer I don't believe in hasem and I disregard everything Hashem wants from me and I speak gossip and I dress inappropriately and I watch but I put a my all is good that's not that is not our religion I can't do what I want and tie a red string around my wrist and everything's good that's another religion that's not our religion our religion is that Torah is the and assuming that those things are even once you do your initiative what's left you do me your then you get anxious so you have a little money to invest in a mutual fund in a stock so you know what you do your research you meet with a few people you have a broker you read up on it and you make a choice so now you made your choice you put your money in that stock now what are you going to do drive yourself crazy sit there anxious and worried and stressed and check it every 3 seconds and what will be and I don't know what will be that's ridiculous it's absurd you're going to rob yourself of your of your happiness what do you do you take your initiative and then you let go like God you rely on and then your mind is free to enjoy life and your heart is open that is the end of pick up a new Li in next week we'll choose something new to learn in Amun don't forget to go to tger is on Monday nights 8:30 Monday nights at 8:30 you don't want to miss that special opportunity have a great day