Part 70: Making Margin and Space for Breakthrough

okay good morning it's great to resume our living with amuna Shear or our amuna support group as we like to put it we concluded the section we were learning from the Shalom and so for today I want to share with you I want to learn with you um a piece from the this is It's deep into theer the the was a fascinating individual we're not going to take the time now to develop who he was lived in the 16th 17th century he lived in pwa Italy and he was a brilliant Tam he was an incredibly righteous and virtuous individual but he was also somewhat of a renaissance man he very much participated in Italian poetry plays not only attending secular Italian poetry um plays and poetry but writing it authoring it himself he was a great Mystic he was a mul he was actually excommunicated and driven out of padwa for promoting and spreading cabala in a time that there was a lot of skep ISM about him he was really an amazing individual but his theer is so unbelievable that the G the Von is said to have said said to have said that he would walk across Europe Barefoot in the snow in order to be able to spend a few moments at the Fe that every word in the safer is precious the safer is based on a the one of the great rabbis gave us a 12-step program that if we follow these steps one after another happens to be 12 steps that it leads Toes that a person who can conquer Z and zus and all these different attributes qualities traits within themselves they can achieve a level of perfection or as close to the human being can come to Perfection within themselves so this is very deep into the safer it's par chapter 21 it's it's how to acquire and the reason we're skipping right to this we're not studying M I'm actually doing that with the um cup of Joe on Wednesday mornings um but the reason we're doing this is not to study but it's that every week or few weeks we take another section of something that talks about amuna because it's reminding us again these qualities living life with awareness knowledge mindfulness of God's role in our lives is all about conscientiousness it's mindfulness it's reminding ourselves in fact that's how the r actually begins his book he begins his book by saying something that nobody ever thinks to put at the beginning of a book they want to sell which is he says there's nothing new in my book whatsoever my book says what you already know so only buy it if you're going to read it over and over wow if you're going to buy it and read it once and it's going to sit on a shelf and gather dust don't bother but the purpose of it is to remain mindful read it over and over because it's telling us what we already know just what we need to be reminded of and it's a brilliant incredible incredible safer so this is how to acquire here doesn't mean how to grow long p and wear stol and how to wear sh with little hat on top of it or however your imagery ofus this is notus as in the students of the bem and the modern movement of this isus in the way that our rabbis our tradition uses the word which is piety to reach the level of the talk about the early Pious individuals this is one of the late stages one of the last steps of this path towards Perfection is to reach the level of being a to reach the level of this p with the way with which you interact with the world it's kind of a a life in which you're not encountering Temptation and overcoming it but you've Purge from within yourself even the Temptation right it's the difference between when you really crave the chocolate cake but you say you know I'm not going to eat it I shouldn't eat it or when you look at chocolate cake and you say that's poison I have no interest in that I would never eat that I would never put that in my body so the is the one who's purged from within themselves even that sense of temptation all right so here we go he named what is the method what's the path in order to acquire this life of how can you get to this level of self-awareness of mindfulness this lifestyle of where you're you're not even tempted it comes through extensive observation and profound contemplation when a person thinks about when a person contemplates the degree of hashem's greatness when you think about the cosmos how vast it is when you think about the world how intricate and how detailed it is when you think about hashem's absolute perfection and you think about the enormous Gap that exists between his greatness and our loneliness God is unbelievable he is everything and we are pathetic so when a person realizes that you'll be filled with a sense of awe and trembling you live you can't help but live with a sense of mindfulness when you're in the presence of greatness you're very conscientious about how you look about what you're saying about how you appear about what they're going to think about you about what you're doing it's impossible that your mind's going to wander at that moment it's impossible you're going to do something which is undignified or reflects poorly on you because you're so self-aware that you're in the presence of greatness and the vast gap between you and that greatness that you admire whatever position of power whatever accomplished person whatever person of achievement in an area that you admire but when you're with them you're so aware and self-aware so says the that if you want to be able to live with a a high degree of self-awareness and self-control and self-discipline then it's by contemplating that we are always in the presence of Hashem to feel him with us all the time that he's always with us that he's always watching that he's always present not always present in like a big brother you're in trouble I got security cameras on you Facebook is monitoring you kind of way but more in a Hashem is your best friend he's always you're never alone he's always by your side he's living life he's confronting things with you you're never ever alone you're never isolated you should never feel alone you always have that support system but that support system happens to be you have an audience with the Divine you have an audience with the most powerful you have an audience with the source of everything so when you live with a high degree of self-awareness of the vastness and then you can't help but be maintain a self-awareness of what we're doing how we appear how we the impression that we're making and so on this notion by the way says the importance of knowing the difference between us and Hashem is what rinkus describes what we do at the beginning of daving we have an our the 19as 13 middle ones are Basha the requests 13 middle ones are the essence of when we with great humility and an utter sense of submission and dependence say Hashem if I'm going to have parasa I need you health of the people I care about need you nas for my children I need you Shalom Bas I need you justice in the world I need you all the principles these 13 which the an the men of the great assembly with their tremendous divinely inspired wisdom authored and orchestrated for us timelessly in other words they knew forever that the would would be no matter where you live and no matter when you live these 13 things that we ask for are the 13 core things that matter in everyone's life if you want to know what our Rabbi saw as being our priorities we don't ask for none of the 13 bras are a nicer car or a bigger house is is parasa help me provide for myself and provide for my family in a dignified way but none of them are can I have honor a bigger name give me more likes or followers on Facebook or Twitter none of the 13 in the middle are things that are insignificant or inconsequential if you want to know what matters or what our Rabbi saw as mattering as care as what we should care about look at those 13as they are the road map to what matters knowledge how we can expand our mind how we can maintain our memory how could have knowledge people with memory loss and dementia and you know what that means what we take for granted in our youth about what we remember until you can't remember where you put the keys or you're around people who you're not sure continue to recognize you the capacity to maintain memory and knowledge what a how much that matters us give us the ability to come close to you what a what a request every day forgive me I've neglected you I've dismissed you I've disregarded you I'm pathetic I claim to love you and look how much I ignore you so please forgive me and the fact that hm is willing to Grant forgiveness is absolutely incredible and go down down I'm not going to take you all 13 but some we connect to everybody connects with no matter what position you are in life you can't ever take it for granted it could disappear as quickly as it came and I don't take it for granted thank you and please maintain it and sustain it and support it and all the all of the bras I I find tremendous inspiration in saying uh in saying allim a lot of people don't connect talking about these righteous people but that's to me I'll never be embarrassed I'll never be ashamed I'll never be hesitant because I put my trust in you it's in you I'm saying these 13 Bros I'm standing in front of you as if there's nothing else in the world because yes I'm going to go to work and I have to go to the doctor and I'm going to go to the bank and I got to go to this and I got to go to this but before I go do all that God I want to make clear that while I do all that I know that you're the one who has the keys because those are the people who live that life and I aspire to be counted among them and the way to be counted among them is to live with a sense of to live with a sense of a awareness that it's you of course which is the open one fill in whatever you want like my potato cooko come out well make me not get stuck in traffic make my you know I don't know let's say it's possible I have a daughter taking a big Chem test today let her do well let her know all the answers let her be confident you know whatever the case may be it was the open one fill in whatever you want people think that you can only fill in in I try to fill in in every BR the more you personalize each and every the more personalized all the is we spoke about yesterday in the para class because it relates to our para and our beginning of our when Aon is told Moshe andon there's a that's recited at the end of the the after they bring the carbonos would recite AEM May beu before you the carbos we've just brought may they be satisfactory may you accept them positively may you respond to them positively said that's exactly what the paragraph would say represents for us the 13 things I've just asked for accept them from where they come I mean them genuinely please only do them if they really will be what's right and what's good for me they are the is the it parallels the that the would after their that we say God all these things I just asked for please only respond positively to them if they're in fact good for me don't just give them to me because I asked only give them to me and please be open to giving them please be positive to them and then we get to mod so so those are the middle those are the 13 right so the first three are they're praise the last three are their gratitude how could you ask all the what makes somebody more likely to Grant what you've asked for than you're saying and by the way thank you so much for all the help you've given me before I don't take it for granted I don't forget about it I'm ever I'm ever mindful of how much you've done for me and I want to thank you I make an admission I admit that I needed you you I admit that I rely on you thank you for what you've done for me Rabbi Penner spoke at chus a few weeks ago and described very beautifully that when he says that of modim he pauses he feels his heartbeat in his chest and he feels a few breaths and only when he's paused long enough to feel his heart beating in his chest and his breath does he turn and say moden thank you Hashem I'm alive I have a heartbeat I have breath I have air in my lungs and that's what puts him in the mindset of of mod the last three are why am I telling you all this cuz the first three are Hashem you're mighty you're great you're all in control you control the weather you control life you control the resurrection of the Dead you're all powerful you are everything you're great Hashem have I told you you look good today Hashem I told you so why do we do so pink is asked why do we start with Shah so the misunderstanding the easy misconception is why do I start with SH because I'm about to give hasem 13 things I'm going to ask him so I say have I told you how pretty you look today listen my buddies and I want to right before you do a big ask so it's like we're buttering Hashem up cuz we're about to do 13 big ass so first we say God have I told you how Mighty and great you are so rinka says that's a total misconception it's not at all why we're doing it do you think Hashem is so shallow that he's going to fall for that it's a joke that's ridiculous so why do we start with Shabah says Pinkus because what we're doing is before we can ask Hashem for anything we remind ourselves why he is the source we're turning to to give us those things the the praise of hem is not to position him to be more likely to answer us it's to position us to have greater concentration to be more invested in what we're about to ask so that's exactly what the ra is saying here that we need to contemplate the Gap the distance that is immeasurable it is so large the vast Gap between his greatness and our being absolutely utterly pathetic we are so temporary we are so pathetic and Hashem is just perfection he's everything he is infinite omnipotent the source of all and when we think about's great kindness to us and his love for the Jewish people so when you think about The Nearness of the just to him and the LOF loftiness of the Torah and the mitz and related analysis and studies here is working off the r in the second chapter of who tells us that when you contemplate hashem's greatness when you contemplate the the details of the universe the minua the beauty of hashem's world you cannot help but but feel a burning love a desire a longing to come close to him to cling to him when you think about just how how great how magnificent study hashem's Miracles study hashem's nature study the minu and intricacies of the universe go to Montana to Glacier National Park and see the beauty of the world that he's created and you can't help but say wow wow you know you have those moments where something happens where you feel you know most of the time you walk around and think the universe revolves around me my day my problems my successes my life what I want what I need what I got what happened to me the whole world revolves around me it's just the natural human tendency it's the human psyche just feels like that we interpret and we filter and we interact with the world through the lens of Our Lives that's just the natural world but once in a while something happens and you realize you make contact with something that's so much bigger than you whether you studied history and you realize just how amazing how things happened the way they did whether you're in some magnificent um scene scenery you see the world you see nature whether something that seemed like a coincidence happened whether whatever the case may be you make contact with the the greatness of the world how much bigger it is than ourselves in that moment you think wow this world is so much bigger than me it's incredible I'm nothing I'm a measurable and and and I'm just a tiny little God blip in the screen of the whole world and I want to cling I want to connect with the one who is the source of that whole world as it is Hashem created the world that he's our father literally in other words it's not just a metaphor that God is our father he is our father he fathered us he's our parent and he loves us like a parent loves a child awakens within him the will so the more that we act more that we rather recognize Hashem is our father the more that we as a child want to cling to our father the more loving parents are to children no the more we recognize our parents us no the more parents are loving to Children the more children reciprocate that love and affection towards parents and so the more that we feel hm's love towards us that we reflect upon and think about and contemplate and see Hashem as our affectionate and loving father that every morning that I wake up is his giving me a kiss on the cheek that everything that's worked out for me is his hug that his guiding hand is is in my life the more I feel his love and affection the more as a child I will want to reciprocate and be driven towards that love towards him now how do you accomplish this says how do you accomplish this how do you get to that point thinking about the vast gap between us and him thinking about the cosmos in the universe thinking about just how impressive this world is how do you get to that point where you realize he's our father and he loves us and we should love him it doesn't happen in a busy life with no space no margin no time it doesn't happen when you're surrounded by noise that there's no quiet to think has do it happen that word is the word means to be alone we're described as a nation that dwells alone is to be alone is to spend time in meditation in contemplation in self-reflection says R if you're just running through the rat race of life if you just have so much noise surrounding you all the time you will never have have a breakthrough to feel these things which are the very things that will give your life meaning Joy strength and support so you think that by being busy all the time or you think by having noise all the time that is what's going to give you meaning and it's the opposite if you create no margin and you make no space and you never make quiet to be able to have breakthrough then you'll never have breakthrough bre made this famous or popular the idea of designated time every day for his bodus every day followers true followers of rman will put aside a minimum of an hour a day you try doing it for 60 seconds and you'll break out in hives it's very hard if you've ever tried it it's very hard turn your phone off turn everything off sit alone in a chair with nothing and just with your eyes are open or closed you will realize and you will feel that it is very very challenging so R his followers would set aside an hour or an hour in the morning an hour at night different than daving daving is the formula that we talked about hisus is not daving is that like meditation it's meditation it's more realus is actually a conversation with Hashem it's talking to him it's talking to yourself about him it's talking to him it's talking to him about what's going on in your life like a check like a checking in it's a checking in it's filling him in it's like you're calling a parent it's like you're calling a best friend it's like you're having coffee with someone you're telling him here's what's going on here's what I'm grateful for here's what I need your help with talk to you here's what I need to work on here's right it's his so whether you can do it in the you know mystical sense or whether it's just a matter of slowing down life slowing down your pace of life hisus is critical you need space to have this breakthrough it's only in silence that breakthrough that breakthrough happens what the other thing that will help you says is to so he says lived an incredible life lived doing so we went through and has D's life's life you know we think of D with beautiful women and a harp and a powerful Kingdom and a mighty warrior but you read about his life and whatever challenges you have in your life I'm going to guess they they don't live up to do his father-in-law tried to kill him his wives were his wife was disloyal to him he had the whole episode with bachev and God himself said I'm disappointed in you he had a a son and a daughter and then another son who killed his brother he had Rebellion within his kingdom Within his own family he had Rebellion within his own officers and cabinet he had his whole life he's running he's on the Run he's hiding he's squashing Rebellion the division of the kingdoms it's just his whole life was filled with challenges yes it had Glory yes it had high moments but he never says why is me whoo is me and where is God he turns and uses it to propel him to get closer to God closer to Hashem so it says the ra implanted within tahim are the highs and the lows the joys and the success successes and the challenges and the suffering whatever your experience the totality of human experience and human emotion is contained within tum you have to find that peric you have to find that outpouring of poetry and pros of David and you will be able to connect with it and to connect through his words so that too is an important with that the third thing is to read the stories biographies of righteous people but we've talked about this before said it the happiness expert at Harvard when he was here and spoke at the sh that if you want to be motivated you want to grow and the same is true if you want to be motivated and growing your relationship with hem the number one thing to read is not self-help books number one thing to read is biographies biographies I'm reading right now a great biography of the Clen clba but biographies there's Great Men is great women we have no shortage of them throughout our history you read biographies of these people whether we feel we can ever measure up to them or not but they they Inspire they set the standard they push us yeah so reading biographies or hearing their stories reminding me tonight the Y shat program 7 o' we have a wonderful 97y old survivor a very special man is's going to share his story and when you hear people their challenges their Trails who can forget last year Mr juditz when when I asked him how did you m retain your faith even even after what you went through he said I had lost my physical parents what I was going to give up my last father my last parent why would I I couldn't live without him so when you hear the stories of what in the biographies of these great people what they overcame it puts things it puts our lives in context and it gives us strength for what we need to overcome so the ra has laid out for us what are the three things to do in order to maintain thisas how do you get to that level of self-awareness that level of self-control that level of mindfulness number number one spend time reflecting on God understand who he is and the contrast to us that vast Gap see his magnificent World Challenge yourself to expand your mind and to understand and you will crave to get close to him feel he is our father and you as a child will want to reciprocate the affection of love to him that only happens said the ra with space quiet his self-reflection contemplation number two was tap into the power of and number three is read the stories of so those are the things that help you acquire what are the things that are obstacles to it that deter you from it you know what hurts you this we going to get to the hard part what hurts you what's an obstacle to achieving it is preoccupation with other matters and worries worry worry anxiety when a person's mind is preoccupied and distressed by anxieties and his Affairs you'll never be able to find the space and the quiet to have the Breakthrough in these areas now I just want to be clear we're not talking about somebody who has um mental health diagnosed anxiety there are real disorders and challenges that need to be treated in a in a proper way and the answer to them is not amuna you know learn a book about amuna and it'll go away that's that's part of the answer to it and it's part of the answer to every one of us but there are serious diagnoses of anxiety and so on that need sometimes medication that need therapy that need support so I want to be very clear in saying that the is not suggesting if you have anxiety it's because you don't have auna you know read a book about amuna listen to talks about amuna and you want have anxiety but I'm talking about the people who don't have a diagnosis of anxiety but just the they're just Jewish they just have they just have they just have the they just are living in this world that that everything makes you anxious you know what will work out will it work out what's going to be what's going to happen is everything okay there's just there's so many moving parts to our lives that there's so much to be anxious about one can't help up being anxious so says the he's identified the number one obstacle to a mindful life of piety of of Tranquility of Serenity of meaning of purpose of joy of fulfillment of satisfaction the biggest obstacle is being scattered in your brain is not having the space to sit to think to experience to feel I was thinking about speaking about at the shabas I don't know if I will or won't but I'll tell it to you now so at the end of the paraa if I do you'll forget it by the shop this morning at the end of the paraa among the list of non- kosher animals is a Sher Sher the Sher is the creepy crawly insect a sherit is a insect and the Torah describes it not only as being not Kosher but it's also Mame it contaminates so Beerman brings down I forgot from which rebba that the reason a sherit contaminates the Tuma of a sherat is shats it's always running moving moving moving quick quick quick you know what brings tum into your life when you're always running running running you're on that treadmill you're running running you can't ever slow down the B used to say we say in the means that we will quickly be removed from the land as a punishment but thetically described our mission is to destroy the attitude OFA in our lives right that this light we're always on the run quick quick quick faster faster faster get it done get it done get it done more more more that mentality it's killing us it's it's it's killing us physically it's killing us all kinds of ailments I once gave a drer about this in the pth past that talks about how shallow we're breathing who said you heard on the radio right that we're breathing in such a shallow fashion that that's hurting us we're not bre we're not taking deep breaths robell Mel Goldberg to the whole anyone go to that session he gave when he was here on that he's such an unbelievable person that he's doing a private session with me this afternoon in it I I was away where were we at a wedding at the fly somewhere I missed it but I mentioned to him the stress of the Rabin it and how many medicines I take a day for different gifts that the rabet has given me and um so he said I got to work with you I can help you and he so nice I forgot and he emailed me yesterday we said time unbelievable but we're we're breathing too shallow do you know that there's studies that show that that young people because they spend all their time looking down at a screen they're not their whole diaphragm is caved in they're not getting deep breaths their lungs the whole our anatomy our health our our body our yeah we're not St we're tensed up we're not breathing everything so a sherit the Tuma in our lives is a result of shat running running running doing doing doing fastpac do we ever stop disconnect we do we supposedly have shabas but even chabas we're competing we're running we're doing we're serving we're we're hosting we're you got to slow down that's why I take a good nap on jaas stop running thanks to my wife so we have to destroy that attitude that mentality of the of the m so the biggest obstacle to this contemplative life the biggest challenge that's stopping us from achieving the lives we're meant to live the serenity the peace the Tranquility we're meant to have is the worry the anxiety the pace of life if you don't make room to contemplate if you never stop and think if you can't ever stop and interpret the world if you can't look at the world if you can't stop and look at your day and say wow look at how that worked out that was amazing I feel Hashem in my life that was so kind of him that that worked out the way it did I never thought it was going to isn't that amazing the little things to identify the little things but if you don't ever have time Sher if you're a Sher shat if you're always running then how can you achieve and even if you have found the capacity to slow down and you did achieve breakthrough but if you return to that rate in that pace of life then all your breakthroughs going to disappear you're right back to where you were because you have no time to be in a disciplined way and in a slow way we'll save the rest of this for next time but so what we identified was what we're seeking to achieve the reason we're studying this is and again we're not doing this to learn we're doing this in our as our section or selection of amuna he's going to get to amuna being the antidote amuna being the answer being the ingredient to our lives which gives us the strength to slow down and it gives us the wherewithal to overcome our our anxiety and our stress it gives us the wherewithal to deal with whatever we have to deal with so that we can find the margin the space the quiet to live the lives that we're meant to live it's all about trying did we not just out ofing and that's reminded as you told us many many times reminded every day y all the time to be conscious and stuck which TR that's the of and and this is our time we're counting is every day we're trying to make progress we're trying to improve this is a 49 day challenge I have certain personal things I took upon myself for these 49 days a 49 day challenge to see if we can do it can't say this is a CH forever because forever it's very hard to maintain something but if you set yourself for 49 days 49 days I'm going to do X Y and Z certainly not more than next y day if you take more than 30 things probably shouldn't take more than one thing but you take a small thing and you you you challenge yourself and to grow in that area can I make space can I find the quiet can I do these things that I promis myself I'm going to do in a more meaningful way be it in our relationships time with our spouse with our children be it in our conversation with Hashem setting aside time for daving or the quality of that daving be it in areas we want to work on whatever it is in life but that's exactly what this period is supposed to stimulate growth and and it's not a coincidence between you know for us us we live in a very seasonal Community we're very lucky because after PES off things do slow down it may not it may not it may not feel that way may not feel that way may not feel that way no wait listen still busy there's a lot going on but you know what I I'll tell you this it's not a coincidence I think everything is from Hashem no it's not everything is from Hashem that we have dka during we have the loss ofik students and the morning that there's no Simas right now right okay it happens to be we have some SAS but whatever there's not Simas during during during the period of SP and you know what that slows things down also that creates some space that creates some margin that creates some quiet you're not your next Sunday and your next shabas and your next every day is not running to the next Sim because part of this time when we're growing is make the space and use it to grow whether the next 49 days you're going to read a little bit every day because there's a book that's going to help you grow biography that you're committed to conclude by the end of the 49 whatever it is every 49 days you're going to listen to another Shear whatever challenge you take upon yourself but we have those opportunities for this is a period of breakthrough so that when we come to Har when we stand together at the base of the Mountain at the end of the 49 days on Shu we are different people on the base of that mountain we already we what what is this we're getting we were on the 49th level of Tuma and we're trying to clim out what creates T shat shat slow down we're slowing life down a little bit so that we can get to the mountain that when we get there we're actually really there okay have a great week see you next week