Part 67: Living With Hashem Prospectively Not Only In Retrospect

okay good morning B to want to thank uh esie Lupin for sponsoring this morning's Amir in honor of her sister-in-law's yite Lia Gabriel bash May Nama have an Aliyah amen May her family find Comfort through her memory just before we begin the source that we're going to delve into today I just posted this on our amuna group but I'll share with you anyway because I think it's really transformative it changed the way I appreciate Tanis Esther that today is unlike every other fast day all other fast days both major and minor have a component that they are commemorating a Calamity a tragedy of the past mostly tied around theban last night we concluded our 20th century moments that mattered series with a talk on y mashawa the founding of yah part of the opposition R salek and his nephew the RV and many others to the establishment of yashwa was that we um we don't add new days new Memorial days new Fast days but rather they're all subsumed under Tish Tish incorporates all of Jewish people's tragedy throughout the Millennia throughout the generation so all of our other fast days stem Froman they have to do with the breach of the walls they have to do with the beginning of the destruction each commemorates a different stage and ultimately what was theban the destruction of our temples and the withdrawal of the Divine countenance the withdrawal of the from our MST so um so that's true for all the others and they they they Mark a Calamity a tragedy of the past and the way we mark it the r writes the ra calls why are we fasting to Mark a tragedy and what's the goal chuva to arouse to inspire within us a sense of self-reflection introspection personal growth chuva we should repent so fast days are usually sad they're somber we're not giddy we're not happy we're not joyous but rather we're very focused we're focused on what went wrong in our past and we're focused on how we can correct it in our future but the RAM says when it comes to today Tanis it's not about we're not marking a Calamity of the past but rather we are simply reenacting and reliving the fast day that Esther and Mori established for all the Jewish people what does that mean it means ham understood that our greatest vulnerability our weakest point was that we were we were scattered we were spread out we were divided not only geographically but metaphysically we were not getting along with one another we were in factions the right didn't like the left the left didn't like the right this one told Mori the community is too far to the right the other one told Mori the community is going too far to the left yeah I say even at the end of the Mig is only when Mor's up for a contract renewal after saving the entire Jewish people in chushan he only gets the Maj majority of the vote it's not unanimous there were those who voted against him so that's reassuring so the Jews were who couldn't satisfy even M so they were they were scattered not only geographically but as a state of mind as a way of being they weren't getting along this one's kids didn't play with that one's kids they were in a different school this one accused this one they wear that kind of yamaka this one this this one that and what was the antidote what was the response go gather all the Jewish people we need a sense of unity if we're going to defeat ham if we're going to defeat the enemies of our day it's not going to be by being divided and Scattered it's only going to be when we have a sense of unity so the original fast for Esther was a fast that really was actually an instrument that United the Jewish people that created a sense of community a shared destiny that what they were facing was bigger and more important than that which they that which divided them so the ramam says to is we're commemorating that display of unity that coming together with a shared story and a shared Destiny so the rivid rights today is not a sad day unlike other fast days which are somber and sad and introspection and reflection today's a happy day we're not fasting out of sadness we're fasting to once again experience the notion of uniting together of being part of a community and essentially the prerequisite to tonight and tomorrow before you can make a and dress up and attend Thea and have fun before you delve into the puram hot dogs before you enjoy the joy of purum the prerequisite is first coming together as a community so today is also part of it's the beginning of the holiday it also has a component of sim the rush explains that's why normally we don't fast before a holiday you omit Tak you can't give a eulogy there's rules the day before a holiday is already a quasi holiday how can we fast today it's an exception to the rule because it's not really a fast day in the classic sense of a sad fast day today is a day of of Joy so I wish you I always when people say have an easy fast it always bothers me because the goal of the fast is not to be easy the goal of the fast particularly yum Kipper the goal ofer is to feel discomfort to feel uncomfortable and discomforts usually what stimulates growth and change so it always bothers me when people say have an easy Fest but today I say have a happy Fest it's a happy Fest to the degree that you can have a happy fast so I want to take a break from our normal study in instead of our normal study onus I want to interrupt our normally scheduled program for a little bit on pum it's a little bit on pum but even if it weren't pum it's relevant for our our um our we a a support support group thank you our support group for amuna so on the bottom right what I want to share with you is a passage that comes from the S of mosha s of pressur who I think was a great great grandparent of M it I think but the great the wrote CH he wrote a commentary on the G we have PES we also have Dres we have the Dres that he gave whether he delivered these as Dres or they're simply Dr it's the style of writing so this comes from hisas so on the bottom right corner is where I want to begin V first he asks a complicated question and I don't want to get lost on focusing on the question having to do with the gar in the first peric of Milla on Z that Esther Mill eser was written KES Mill Esther was written with divine inspiration Esther received divine inspiration when Esther was when Esther was written by the way this is an amazing I I came across last week both my friends Rabbi Shalom bam and Rabbi kkin B and Tin RAB kkin and Tink both shared this incredible it's not from the period of the G talking about a thousand years over a thousand years ago writes that AOS is the one who commissioned millas Esther so some say this is a reflection just how foolish and stupid he is he commissioned a book that tells a story that show shows him in a poor light but what does it mean a commissioned the Book of Esther that might been part of the controversy that surrounded whether to include Esther in tanak there was a debate whether Esther should be canonized um but Ron writes that that it's a himself who who who commissioned the the writing of Esther so reab kabin suggested I think he gave a shabas in Toronto on this he suggested that maybe the message for us it's part of what we're going to talk about right now is even when in a commissions a work so you think nothing could be more mundane nothing could be less holy or sacred than an a commissioning this work but it has relevance to your life it too can be made holy that even within that which appears mundane even within that which appears separate and apart from our story when it connects to our story it too has a message for us and the whole experience of the Milla is trying to reveal hashem's hand within that which is hidden so it doesn't just mean revealing hashem's hand within nature even revealing hashem's hand within the Memoir of you can even find hashem's hand within there okay so keep that in mind as we read this in order to answer the question that I'm not tell tell you what it is tells you what it is I'm not telling you because it's complicated and the question is not so important for us it's the answer towards the end of the M it says the mill itself that these days of Pur should not pass will never end for the Jews the Jews hold on to these days of Pur and their memory will never stop from their offspring from their progeny RAB we already know for two weeks we've already been been uh different funny hat Day funny sock Day funny This Day funny that day if your kids go to school each day is another funny day you got the music playing the joy of of Adar when the month of Adar enters we expand our sense of it's interesting that that in Tanis that he's referencing also has the opposite when the month of enters we diminish our joy when the month of Adar enters we expand we promote our joy why doesn't it just say in Adar we feel Joy and in a we don't feel Joy why does it talk about and we expand joy and we diminish Joy why not just say be happy be sad it's much more direct it's much more focused soab explained once that Joy Sim is an indispensable part of Human Condition You Can't Live Without Joy the question is not be joyous in this month and be sad in the other the question is how happy are you one month we focus on external at least external manifestations of happiness and the other we say it's sad it's an appropriate if one loses a loved one and they're sitting shiva even though you need a joy for life always but we would say there's something awkward there's something wrong if the person is sitting shiva is laughing telling J you know if there's too much of us not celebrating the life of the deceased but but it's B like they're they're not saddened you know the r writ it's cruel to not be sad by loss is cruel to not be moved by a sense of loss is cruel so you can't live without you have to have a sense of sim in life you have to have a joy for Life a zest for Life a happiness in life wrote that that Sim is like a pilot light you know what a pilot light is okay everyone with their now we have uh we have electric cooktops the electric cooktops and the uh whatever but those of you who remember what a pilot light is the pilot light the pilot light is lit hot your hot water heater right the pilot light is lit 24/7 and the only question is do you turn on the flame to cook or are you done cooking and you lower the flame but you leave it as a pilot light Sim in our lives is a pilot light and the only question is is it appropriate right now to Fan the flame to turn up the flame or is it inappropriate that right now calls for lowering the flame this is an inappropriate mount so but you always have to have you always have to have when a person you see that somebody suffering from depression who has no joy for Life who can't find Joy who can't find the ability to smile who doesn't believe they deserve to live who doesn't think the world needs them described as as Darkness they're living under a cloud of Darkness such a person is despondent they've lost the joy for life they don't even think they're capable ever of feeling Joy again that's mental illness Health mental health is when you always maintain a joy for life does that mean that you have no problems you have problems you have to confront the problems you got to deal with the problems you got to strategize the problems but underlying all the problems is trying to find that which to be happy about you woke up this morning there's someone in your life there's a roof over your head if it weren't a fast day the the coffee to save her a cup of coffee in the morning is a reason to be a good cup of coffee to start your day just the coffee itself the discovery of the coffee being the flavor the aroma The Taste I'm trying to compensate here compensating the caffeine kick so a cup of coffee could give you Sim opening your eyes you looked outside oh there's a sun in the sky oh it's not overly humid okay the littlest things if you're predisposed if you're predisposed to want to find SIM from the second you open one eye you'll find something to be Bim about if you're predisposed to always why everything is wrong and why it's not going to work out and why the sky is caving in and why then then you'll wa open you'll open half an eye and the whole world is wrong you don't even want to get out of bed so even before you open your first eye the attitude that you bring the default of your life are you or are you B sadness which way do you live your life there has to be that if if the pilot light goes out that's mental illness that's that's despondency that's depression that's and that's a legitimate illness it needs to be treated I don't mean to God forbid in our generation we have to be especially sensitive to realize that mental illness is illness deserves as much attention love support as physical illness my point is though that if we want to stay mentally stable and healthy then we have to maintain our pilot light that sometimes raise the flame hopefully often raise the flame and at times lower the flame so the says simp it's interesting it used the word kame just like in you just like what do you mean just like what's the connection between the two so I saw a parish when it comes to a we all have no problem with the with the sadness Jews we're good at sadness and that comes that comes naturally so when it comes to you know don't wear clean clothing don't shower no meat no music no shaving no haircut no this no this no this no this no this done the Kash is the same way with which we have have no problem pursuing and living the charge for sadness we should live the charge for happiness happiness is a little harder because well sadness we say okay so I'll do all those things I'll be sad happiness is an emotion why should I feel happy the answer is the same way that we can engage in behavior and activity which cultivates a sense of sadness we can engage in Behavior and the type of thinking that cultivates a sense of happiness in any case Parish rash so what do you mean says may why should you be happy in why should you be happier in than in kiss orat or or Tish or why you happy in ad so rash there on the gar says why because these are days of Miracles What miracles the fact that we have backtack Miracles backto back months of Salvation is cause for happiness as you go through your trouble of today you say you know what once upon a time we also had troubles and look how back to back month after month Miracles happened unexpected Miracles the way things worked out so so too something's going to work out so says there's an enormous difference between and between and P enormous difference why is Nissan called Nissan because it is the month of Nissan it is the month of Miracles 10 plagues and splitting of the sea and Nissan is the month of the greatest Revelation where Hashem intervened and interfered with the natural order more than ever as rabis explained that these were not in the Natural Way by a so the month of of Nissan the Miracles of Nissan are all Supernatural Miracles they're all miracles that interfered with nature that suspended nature they're all miracles outside the natural order the fact that the 10 plagues each of those plagues the splitting of the seats natural for a sea to split the fact that we began to wander in the desert where we were protected by Divine clouds the fact that every one of these Miracles revolving around the story of PES and the month of Nissan are Miracles above nature however the Miracles of the Miracles of Adar are Miracles were absolutely nothing was outside its normal or natural element everything went on as normal they had a fight he got rid of VRI he had a beauty contest he got a new Queen I mean you read the entire story you review the entire story of pum and you say that's it where is the miracle where is the supernatural thing even more you say where is Hashem where is hashem's name where's hashem's name it doesn't appear anywhere in the Milla people like to quote it's the only book of tanak which hashem's name doesn't appear which is not true what other book does hashem's name not appear anyone know shh sh's name does not appear there's some message there not for now but in the Milla of Esther in millas Esther whomever commissioned millas Esther hashem's name does not appear and if you want you could read the entire story as being just a natural string of coincidences a random flow of events that yielded an outcome that happen to be favorable to us but there's nothing there's nothing Supernatural it's an incredible quote says when one contemplates the story of from the beginning of's great feast until the end of the Milla you'll recognize that Hashem had amazing Providence in the manner in which he leads the world and Hashem continues to do that with us today what's the problem however that's his language what does that mean the person who's experiencing the miracle doesn't see the miracle while it's happening while you're experiencing a miracle you have no perspective you have no context you have no scope so while you're in the miracle you don't even see the miracle this is the month of so which is the month that you have not n where do you have SIM the obligation of sim which is greater the miracle that transcends nature that interferes with nature or the miracle that is subsumed within nature which is the greater Miracle it's the Miracle Within nature Hashem Hashem controls the entire world should Hashem want he can manipulate all of nature he can manipulate the entire world he can interfere he can manipulate he can have all of nature do exactly what he wants but he doesn't want to do that he created a world and a natural world and he created a world of our Free Will and the more he interferes with the world the more he interferes with free will which offsets the equilibrium of the purpose of existence he wants to be in the shadows he wants to be where we have to look for him because that's what makes the relationship meaningful when he's not obviously clear when he's not explicitly exposed to us and we have to go look for him that's what develops the relationship so he wants to be hidden however when he forms us as a nation we'll talk about this PES time for whatever reason there the pump in Circumstance the ran the end of the raan elaborates the entire reason for miracles and why God took us out of Egypt with such Miracles but the month of Adar is that Hashem even when we fail to see it even when we struggle to recognize it even when it doesn't feel like it Hashem is also the one pulling the strings that that is the greater appreciation and acknowledgement of a miracle says the reason we're celebrating what we're supposed to achieve out of per is to realize that the same way that when you read the Milla it looks like a random string of coincidences but we know that Hashem was orchestrating and choreographing everything so too in our lives even though things can feel like a random string of coincidences there is a person pulling the strings there is someone choreographing and orchestrating everything that happens and it's all for a reason it's not random it's not chance the philosophy and the attitude that it's random and chance whose philosophy is that that's exactly what we're battling on purum that's exactly the philosophy of amalik that's exactly what we read this past shabus and we declared our commitment we affirmed our pledge that we will remember and never forget what did aik want to do rash gives multiple interpretations what means one is cold we just came from harro we were on fire we heard in a great Shira we just just heard y we just whatever makes us go on fire we were on fire we're on fire best best best MOS best mother best wife best father best we were on fire and aik snuck up behind us because they came they came behind us and they Splash cold water on our fire you know that friend who you're so excited about something and they come and they Splash cold water on your fire and they say what are you so excited about that don't you know about them that this that and the other really you so excited about that didn't you hear that you know that's not so great I heard much greater and you're I was just like what happened I was just on fire I was just so excited I was just so enthusiastic I was just so passionate and that Mida that Mida of coming and splashing cold water it's the Mida amalik is the mid of e the mid of e I've written in the past that hutner describes the philosophy of amalik is it's a it's a philosophy of nothing is sacred nothing is Holy nothing is worthy of all amalik is all the philosophy of nothing impresses a Malik nothing is impressive nothing is worthy of awe nothing comes from above nothing is greater than ourselves nothing is worthy of admiration what what rutner calls it is to be is to take sacred things and make them profane this isn't a there's nothing holy about this room the look I can do X Y and Z in this room you know you think that Rabbi is so great they're so holy ah I Googled them and do you know that they blah blah blah blah they nothing special the is you think the sunset is so magnificent it's the picture you know somebody doctored the picture that makes it the is to take anything with cynicism and sarcasm and attitude the is to say splashing cold water on it you're so excited about that new song that new recipe that new teacher that new rebi that new that new book that you got the new whatever you're excited about you're so excited about I can come and splash water on your fire that's that's we the Jewish people we have that pilot light that the flame we turn up the flame we're in a kodesh we're in as t two where we have a flame that never burns out the flame that never Burns Out doin Miller spoke a couple weekends ago he gave a magnificent cheer I never knew how much physics he knew he talked about the second law of Thermodynamics called entropy which is that matter dissipates decays order turns to disorder and Chaos that's one of the rules of physics one of the Rules of Nature and um and he talked about the fact fact that the significance of the symbol that when mosha walked by a burning bush which was on fire but wasn't consumed and then in the mishan thei of the minora was always lit and it never went out and then in the basa mikdash and then khaka we had oil it shouldn't have lasted it defied the rules of physics and it kept burning and it didn't go out and he quoted all throughout Jewish history that image of the fire of the flame which is burning and doesn't go out and he said his theory his thesis was that was chosen as the symbol because that's the Jewish people empires have risen and Fallen leaders have ascended the throne and disappeared cultures have dominated the world and disappeared into dust and here we are the Jewish people I forgot who what great historian he quoted wrote three volumes it wasn't marked he thr a great story and he wrote three volumes Antiquity and then uh I don't even remember what the three eras were and he said the only people that were in all three volumes were the Jews wow were the Jews and there was an asteris he wrote in this historian about the Jews in all three volumes um I forget the language that he used to describe them but essentially that were a fire that never burn out even when the fuel is empty even when there's no more oil it's a it's a it's the fact that we are on fire so how how do we do that so his theory was shabas shabas is renewable energy that when you disconnect to reconnect on shabas and you get renewable energy you never run out of fuel the rest of the world is running out of fuel because they never stop they never pause they never disconnect we disconnect to connect the Jewish people shabas is the source of our renewable energy and it's what enables us like the Energizer Bunny to just keep going so what is the symbol of is the is thees is this is that flame which is on fire and never goes out AAL came and I tried to pour cold water on our fire so the notion of remembering aik Z to remember aik in don't ever forget of course ham is a descendant of aik ham we know is a direct descendant of for those learning right now in the book of sh and we did the story of how sha was instructed to destroy all of amalik and Sha's pity he spared the king of amalik named a AAG he spared the king AAG when he was captured but before shmu came in and killed him AAG had a conjugal visit and it was through the result of that intimacy that ultimately hamon is born amalik ham is born so the consequence of Sha's misplaced compassion right the gamar says if you have compassion to the cruel you'll end up being cruel to those to whom you should be compassionate his misplaced comp compassion ultimately leads to leads to ham the birth of HSS will be child right exactly correct Al Ham's own offspring ended up converting to the Jewish people gar says and learned Torah in in Ben somebody just showed me uh an article about one of the grandchildren of one of the founders of the terrorist one of the terrorist organizations bent on Israel's destruction who converted and it's a picture of him sitting in the Yeshiva with a black hat learning you know this prediction that you that you never know so the first thing about amalik is that and and this holiday of puram is about destroying a Malik remembering and destroying how do you remember and Destroy who is a Malik is it a biological uh is it a genealogical or biological Nation the answer is there's a voice of within ourselves that voice of amalik within us that sarcastic voice the the eh you know there's people who like no matter who the speaker was they were amazing that was outstanding I took so much from it that was fantastic and then there's the people who every speaker we bring in it's the I could have said it better they said nothing I didn't learn anything yeah everything so there's an amalik there's that voice of amalik within us of the that wants to pour cold water on other people's fires or on the fire in us the one piece of us the flame the pile of light inside of US starts to glow and we get scared what that means uhoh am I getting more religious am I about to make some changes what are other people going to think of me how will I fit in socially what does this mean for the things that I enjoy so you know what we do we pour water on our own fire before the flame gets too big we extinguish it because we're afraid of what it might mean that's a Malik that's the voice of a Malik influence of in us what it means to be a what it means to be a Jew is to keep that fire alive to Fan the flame to expand the fire to live a life to be on fire but the other interpretation of rash ofik is MRA mikra means happen stance chance you know what elik tells you you come toik say you got to hear this crazy story things worked out so perfectly they shouldn't have worked out this incredible thing worked out and I was able to get the parking spot the elevator the job or the thing it's unbelievable how this thing worked out it should never have worked out it worked out unbelievable and you know what AM Malik says what are you talking about a worked out it's a coincidence it's a coincidence it's just random I randomly it worked out for you now and yesterday it didn't work out and randomly tomorrow it will or it won't it's just Randomness it's just chance it's just happen St it's just coincidence it's mikra that's the language of a Malik it's m the entire story of of and the entire experience of says is to battle a Malik and to read the Milla and say this is not a string of coincidences this is not Randomness this was all by Design this was all orchestrated this is all part of a plan that K is unfolding now we wish we wish that we were leted in on the plan right if we had the crystal ball say Hashem I'm happy to do all this right now just show me how in a week or in a month or in 10 years or even if after my lifetime for my great-grandchildren show me how why I enduring this right now makes sense can I just fast forward to the end of the video if you let me do that we'll rewind we'll go back I'm happy to endure whatever it is I have to endure we're not the first who say that you know who was who said that before us it's this week's para who said it before us mhu mosu said says Hashem show me your face I want to see and explain what does it mean show me your face your face means I want to be able to live like you do I want to see it prospectively I want to see it before it happens I want to understand it as it unfolds and what's hashem's response to Moshe nobody can see my face and live what's the only thing you can see the back of my head what's the image of the back of my head you can only understand things things in retrospect maybe maybe you'll be lucky enough to put the pieces together to understand in retrospect why that worked out maybe maybe but to understand prospectively in real time that Hashem says is what makes me God that's what makes me infinite omnipotent if you could understand that you'd be God and there's not room for both of us there's only one God and therefore human beings are un incapable of understanding that which means that part of of the leap of faith part of the exercise of amuna is not just that there's a Hashem but is the belief that there's a God and there therefore there are things I cannot understand we live in a generation that wants to have it both ways they say I want to believe there oh yeah a God but I don't understand why did this and I can't understand and I want to understand I deserve to understand I'm entitled to understand and they fail to connect the dots that part of the belief with Hashem included it goes along with the subscription if you subscribe to the fact that there's an omnipotent Creator who created the world and who's involved in our lives it also means that we are not he we are not him we can't see the world what he does we lack the perspective we cannot understand we can't understand someone once came to the Kish and said that they had gone through a horrible thing in life tragedy where is God I don't understand his ways and I he they were just absolutely Paralyzed by trying to understand hashem's ways so K opened the gamar and pointed to a toos and said could you explain this toos to me so the guy tried to read the toos and the K said you got it wrong so he tried a different you don't know what you're talking about and after multiple attempts turned to him and he said tell me something my friend you don't understand toos you think you can understand God's ways you don't understand toos you think you can understand God's ways I was thinking about this because uh our oldest daughter is home now for perm she just had a big chemistry test final this week and she just started college and barem she's very bright very gifted she never really had to work for anything and she had to kill herself to get ready for this test and and I spent the last week uh comforting her supporting her don't worry you're going to do fine it's like the hardest teacher in the school and nobody passes and everything else and I was just thinking to myself and if or when she wakes up I will tell this to her directly that when she wakes up I will tell her directly that that that story from the Kish take chemistry right this one unit of chemistry which was so hard to understand at least the way that it was presented if we can't understand that that's just one part of a whole world physics and biology there's there's Nuclear Physics met there's the whole world is filled with intricacies so we can't even understand you know how do I fix the toner cartridge and the printer show me again how to connect to the Wi-Fi when I'm whatever you know show me again like we can't figure that out we we can't even figure that out right show me again how to make the setting to be the battery B show me again to turn off the notification I can't even figure that out but I expect to be able to figure out how Hashem runs his world so it's very humbling and if we concentrate not on what a big uh Know It All We Are don't concentrate on what we're capable of but if we concentrate and we admit and we concede what we're incapable of then we'll realize wow I'm so pathetic I can't figure that out what makes me think I'm entitled or capable of understanding or figuring out hashem's world so moshu who was the greatest and the brightest and the humblest said to I want to understand I want to see it from your face perspectively Hashem says no you can only see the back of my head you can only understand it after the fact and says theur that's what Pur is all about all the other holidays I mean you think about it pesak is about the Miracles of leaving Egypt sukus is about the Miracles of being protected from the elements while being in a hut is about the miracle of Revelation and hasem talking giving us the Torah KHAK is about the miracle of a flask of oil that should supernaturally that that naturally should have been one day supernaturally lasted for eight every other holiday is about Supernatural purm is the holiday of of the natural nothing unnatural nothing Supernatural nothing exceptional about it and it's our responsibility Miller to be Malala the to see hashem's hand a life of amuna is not just when the miracle happens in front of you a life of amuna is not when the that which never should have happened happen to happen and it's so easy to see hashem's hand a life of amuna the greatest of amuna is to have auna even when when everything seems natural and it's hard to find hashem's hand and I'll end with this incredible teaching I saw this here the says in the classic understanding the simple translation of is that if you read it out of order you're not y so tonight when you hear the Milla if you read the 10th par then the ninth par then the eth par you're not y to fulfill the mitv you got to start from the beginning and you got to go through to the end however the mag Mez and many others it's brought down explain can mean backwards but it could mean also mean a long time ago if you read the m and you think that these kinds of Miracles only happened a long time ago you haven't fulfilled pum when you listen to the story of the Milla you should read your own story in it and recognize that even what feels like Randomness in your life even what is just purely natural not Supernatural in your life is also all from Hashem if you read this story like it's ancient and like it it's from a long time ago you're not a different he said the word comes from the word which means to pay a debt the only reason you're reading the m is to pay the debt the obligation to read the Mig this is not about like to shake the lul this is millus Esther's Malala the there's a you have to work on P to you know take away the inhibitions that's where the comes in all of the all of the practices of P are around this idea why is it that we dress up because what we're saying is the same way that we're in costume I'm not who I appear you're not who you're appear so really the whole year the world is not what it appears the whole world is a costume Hashem really understands everything and I don't what's I'm conceding that just like when I'm in liberated I'm intoxicated I can't comprehend I can't function so to even when I'm sober I have no comprehension I really don't understand what Hashem is doing Hashem is the one who's pulling the strings Hashem is the one who is who's driving the world it's what all the practices of perum all surround this notion of conceding that I don't hold the keys to my destiny I don't understand the world but really really Hashem is the one who's who's in charge from if I'm just reading the Milla to pay a debt to fulfill an obligation and I'm not reading it because I I want to feel hm's presence in my life but the last interpretation I would offer everyone drinks but it is a fasting the last interpretation you right you're okay the last interpretation isman he's got a fantastic interpretation he says if you're only willing to be K you're only willing to call out and see hasem retrospect only when it's over and you see how everything worked out how it all came together how it all made sense that's when you call out to hasem you have to also be willing to be K you have to call out to when you're still in the incident and you don't know how it's going to turn out and it's not predictable and you haven't made sense of it yet then you also have to be K if you're only if you only call out to hasem after the fact when you see it all making sense to live with Aon is not just to acknowledge retrospectively to live with Hashem prospectively it's to live with hm even in the difficult moments to see Hashem in our lives nonetheless so wishing everyone a very happy pum a pum where we're successful inal the to reveal that which is hidden to see AEM even within the natural to see AEM within our lives and that we combat the amalik within us the amalik who tries to convince us or the amalik who convinces us it's just Randomness that we answer by saying not not but we are going to praise and acknowledge we're going to thank we're going to be on fire no one's going to pour a water our flame is burning so bright no fire department can put it out we're going to be on fire this pum by seeing Hashem in our lives