Part 47: The Relationship of Faith to Initiative

okay good morning we resume our weekly Amun here as always our learning is we're on page page six on the bottom uh numbered on the bottom of your page and last week we were talking about the difference between and Amun what it means to recognize that Hashem loves us no matter how far we've strayed from him if you have the relationship with Hashem as a spouse spouse's marriage can end in divorce can end in separation but parenting is a permanent definition a parent and child is a permanent relationship and so on the one hand our relationship with Hashem is defined by the romance and intimacy of a marriage one should see Hashem as a spouse as a love affair as a longing but on the other hand in this context one should see the relationship with Hashem as a child towards a parent that no matter how far one has strayed no matter what one has done the parent never gives up on them the parent never stops loving them and therefore to realize that Hashem always loves us we also talked about the notion that hem is our shadow he's a reflection of our attitude towards him the more we welcome in our welcome him in our lives the more invested in him we are the more present he is and the more he intercedes in our behalf and the more we cut him out and the more we act independently as if we're on our own then the less involved he is because he sees that we're not interested in his help and that very much is familiar to us also in a parent relationship if you reach out and welcome and involve the parent the parent very involved if you write them off and you distance yourself from them then the parent says practices a little tough love and says okay you're on your own so we're in the middle par the middle paragraph on the left hand column this is how explains we all know the Story the Jewish people have left Egypt they've been liberated through miracles from the persecution of the Egyptians and they're now standing opposite the city stuck between the Egyptians and the Sea and what do they do what you think Hashem would be so proud of them for doing they start doing Shem please help usem please get us through this like I told you my daughter last week with her test Hashem please put the answer back in my head yeah so Hashem they start doing and what does hasem respond M what are you doing what are you doing tells Moshe tell the people why you ding to me start walking what do you mean why are they ding who should they be ding to if not to God what else should they be doing if not daving in a circumstance without hope says's reporting the or is saying something which is counterintuitive it really runs contrary to the way we normally understand the section usually we understand this parash to give a big lecture on you have to have faith in the almighty but it has to be coupled and complemented by hisas by human initiative by effort someone's sick we don't say sit on the couch and Dav to hasem he'll heal you we say DAV but go to the doctor you got to get a prescription you have to be treated there seems to be a contradiction within the ramban in one place the ramban says the truly righteous people would never go to the doctor like Scientology if you're truly righteous you realize hasem is the real and you would D to hasem but elsewhere in in the raan writes of course that not only is the doctor entitled to practice medicine but we should go get the services of the doctor as well but generally the attitude is that it's not a fulfillment of amuna it's not a a beautiful expression of amuna to to sit back and wait for Hashem to heal you it's a violation of amuna go go take that Shir over there hi I'm sorry' been bumped it's not a uh I'm sorry was there a note there did you find it no Linda do you mind putting a note out there oh there is a note out there okay okay so so it's not someone else looking so it's not a fulfillment of amuna to say sit back and wait for Hashem to save you right the classic understanding of this is you have to show your initiative you have to do your part is explaining it very differently is saying that in fact prayer didn't work that moment doesn't call for there were so many obstacles against the Jewish people in that moment that it doesn't call for prayer what it calls for isun so understands that walking into the sea was not an act of human initiative it was an incredible Act of amuna and faith and and that makes sense because rationally speaking why would you walk into the sea and expl expected to foot yeah and when you walk into your ankles and then your knees and then your waist why why would you think that something's yet going to happen when you get up to your lips and your nose so to what what did was he didn't Express amuna with his lips he expressed amuna with his feet and sometimes that's the idea what we perceive as aad what we perceive as initiative is not about showing our initiative because the initiative is initiative but rather it's about showing initiative because initiative is another way of expressing faith we express faith with our lips we say to we DAV we turn to Hashem we ask for his help but we also Express Faith with our feet with our hands by doing what we need to do and saying I'm just going to do what I need to do and I'm going to count on Hashem to do the rest so faith is not only expressed verbally faith is expressed with actions and that says this the is what was going on in God says why are you still hung up on expressing Faith with your lips you can't be passive and expect Redemption if you want Redemption you have to show the courage to show faith not only with your lips but with your feet and your hands as well right sometimes a person has to go through medical treatment person has to take an initiative with fertility treatments person is going through the motions with still whatever the case may be a million sending out your resume networking trying to find a job there's a million examples where you say why am I doing this it's Against All Odds it hasn't worked until now why am I still doing this and the answer is for the same reason that started walking into the sea why is he doing that makes no sense why should he expect anything and the answer is because you're not sitting back passively waiting for Hashem to bring about a miracle you're saying Hashem I trust in you so I'm doing what I need to do to be your partner in the miracle waiting for you to perform it not even a miracle because it can happen within the natural order but I'm doing what I need to do I'm dating I'm putting my even I hate this term res out there I'm networking for a job I'm doing the IVF treatments I'm continuing to take the medicine even though it doesn't seem to be effective I'm following what the doctors suggest I'm showing the initiative on my part because initiative is a means of expressing faith and now based on this says we can offer an analysis on the question an analysis on the issue of showing Faith you want some coffee no I havee okay you good does faith require initiative or not and if Faith needs to be accomplished by initiative how much initiative so let's say you say you know what I need to earn a living I need to put a roof over my head I need to put food on my table I need to pay my bills so I need to earn a living I can earn a living and cover my basic life by working 9 to5 but should I work 9 to9 or 9 to 12 and make more money and if God wants me to make all that money couldn't I make all that money while working 9 to5 maybe I don't need to work 9 to n what's the proper measure of of hisas right you say Jews have this mentality that we need the best doctor I tell you this I was visiting a child in SLO ketering earlier this year and I noticed like every room everywhere I looked at are observant Jews from Jews so I asked the parent of the child I was visiting I said are there a disproportionate amount of cancer with children with from Jews like what's going on here yeah he said he had the same question what he found is no it's just that Jews don't settle for their local hospital and doctor they use every connection they have till they end up in slow and karing till they get the best that's our mentality but that's a question of how much isless so if you're in boaro in South Florida God forbid God forbid one is diagnosed with something do you say hisus means going to the local doctor finding out who's the best doctor in South Florida does Shas demand that you find out who's the best doctor in the country and fly there does this Shas demand that you find out who's the best doctor in the world and fly there what does hisus what does initiative demand and at what point do you say taking extreme extraordinary initiative not doesn't support faith undermines faith because if you really believe in God God can heal you with the local doctor if you really believe in God God can take care of it without working 14 16 hours a day God can make you wealthy in a 4-Hour Work Week God can make you so what is the sheer what is the measure of initiative how much do you have to show where does initiative become a compliment to Faith and at what point does initiative begin to take away from faith and the answer is it all depends on the clarity that you have the life you're living of trusting in of seeing him in your life the greater the sense of faith and trust you have in Hashem you see and feel him in your life you lean on him and know that he's there with the attitude and sense that we've spoken about about the brisar brar's tradition that when you recognize in a moment particularly of uh crisis and you say there is nothing else in the world but God that's all there is in the world that that is a schoa that that is a very positive uh brings about positive results so the greater the so you say you know what I have such faith hasem is theem is the last week's par I trust in Hashem he's the doctor okay but Hashem has said to me just like the doctor says take the medicine and that's a necessary prerequisite to get better has says see the doctor that's what I prescrib for you is go see the doctor but the local doctor is a doctor and that's good enough cuz hasem is really the one call the shots and that's good enough if you really feel and lean on hem and you know that but if you say look I trust in Hashem but Hashem wants me to exercise as much initiative as I can so Hashem if I settle for the local doctor and I die from the disease and I get upstairs and I say God what happened I put my faith in you Hashem says yeah I gave you the connections to be able to get to the best doctor why didn't you use them why didn't you go to the best doctor everyone everyone knows the story of the uh person on the deserted island and he's dying right you know that one and he told it to me last week when we left okay so everyone knows that one Hashem sends the helicopter and the person says no I trust in God please go Hashem sends the boat v no I trust in God I'm good go and Hashem sends the I don't even know what else and no I'm good go the person dies on the island comes up to and says God place all my faith in you what happened I'm the biggest baluna I have all this faith in you says faith in me you who do you think sent you the boat who do you think sent you the helicopter who do you think sent you the plane so that's the some Reb is touching on here is where do we strike that balance what is the appropriate measure of initiative to show when is it extreme when is it appropriate at what point does it complement Faith at one point does it undermine it so if you feel well Hashem says I gave you the greatest connections get into the best doctor that's what that's the initiative you need to show to place your faith in me so then you need to show so what he's basically is he's answering this question about the balance and tension by saying it really depends on that it really depends on us on our attitude on where we're coming from on how we feel ISU so the gar tells us about this Great Sage his mother didn't name him isamu that wasn't his name his name was good morning did you go to my house first I realized I didn't tell you where it was not discuss it okay sorry you will not discuss this entire trip sorry sorry welcome back take did you take a raft to get here no but everybody should know they cannot go out leave the entrance yeah because it's wor Lake yeah so this great this Great Sage was not named isamu by his mother he was named why did he get the nickname or the reputation is Gamu he got the name Gamu what kind of name is Gamu also the man of also what does that mean says that walked through life saying this too is for the good it's pouring outside it's flooded therefore my engine got flooded and didn't start my feet my got soaked my shoes got ruined so we would lose our cool would say okay I don't know exactly how or why this two so there's a leak in my roof so there's aamu this too is somehow for the good so he had reached that highest level where no matter what was going on in his life and to him and from him is he so much so it permeated his very personality it became synonymous with his identity that it became his name oh there I don't know how they called him to the Torah whatever but at least it was his nickname in lifeam oh there's who's gam who everything in his life gam it's for the best it's all good a big smile what it's meant to be whatever it is it's meant to be it's an extraordinarily high level he was on this extraordinary high level of faith and trust so he could settle for the local doctor he didn't have to use his connections to fly to the specialist because he was on that level of a connection with Hashem that within the local doctor he saw the hand of Hashem prescribing him a treatment yeah but if a person is not on that level they're on a level of but they say Hashem wants me to use every connection I have have then they have to use so to a certain degree it's beautiful the is giving us license is putting the answer in our hands there is no objective measure there is no objective Shear about what's the right amount of initiative to show it depends on where we see ourselves on the spectrum of faith inem if we can live a life of so then you don't have to show so much initiative then it's appropriate for you to be able to say you know what trust inem I will have what I need and if Hashem wants to make me Rich while working 8 hours a day I can work eight hours a day I don't need to work 16 hours a day because he could give me all that money in 8 hours a day but if a person can't feel that and says at eight hours a day they're going to be stressed out of their mind saying maybe Hashem wants me to work a couple more hours maybe he's not yet bestowing the chef of the flow of blessing is not coming into my life because Hashem says you're lacking two more hours of initiative where's your initiative buddy so for that person two more hours of initiative is is Justified so how much initiative versus how much Faith he's answering really depends on where we are in the Spectrum ofuna which is very important because it also means that we can't judge someone else we shouldn't sit and criticize where they are in the proportion of faith and initiative that they're showing we can collectively all agree that to show no initiative is wrong to show no faith is wrong but the recipe of how much faith and how much initiative is really relative and subjective to each and every person where they are in that spectrum and it's something that fluctuates it's something that changes our life as life goes on one day we feel tremendous amuna our faith our trust we're walking around like and the next day we feel lost the next day we question why the next day we're searching for Hashem and we're struggling to find him and we feel you know what it's really up to me I've got to show all the initiative I've got to show all the initiative what do they say there's a great quote pray like it's all up to God but act like it's all up to you there's some quote like that act as if it all depends on you and is if it all depends on God and that's really exactly what the is saying that when you're doming to hasem when you're talking to hem when you're asking hem for help and whatever it is you need then you live with amuna that you pray like it's entirely up to Hashem but when it's time for you to do what you have to do to take the job interview to go to the doctor to to earn the living then you've got to act and give maximum effort as if it's all up to you return to the page based on this we can explain page seven what does it mean that yob was afraid tells us that was worried that he had used up his merits with the almighty and he was unworthy he was unworthy he had become diminished by using up all of God's goodness to him maybe his own inadequacy would cause him not to be worthy of God's Divine protection so says you know what it means yob wasn't afraid maybe God will punish me because I'm unworthy and that's why right because the question was when yob is preparing for his reunion with asov talk about initiative he said he does diplomacy he sends all kinds of gifts to ASA in advance advance diplomacy and he prepares for war he divides his Camp into two and he prepares for war and then he also doens to hasem what happened to the why did he do three he should have only done one the great yov the great yov what's he what's he sending what's he doing diplomacy and why is he preparing for war just Davin oh God you put me in circumstances I'm about to reunite with my brother as I don't know who I'm going to find is it the is it the ASV who's my brother is it the ASV who's my enemy but God I'm asking for your help and I put my in you done sh why does he have to also prepare for war why is he also doing diplomacy doesn't that undermine the faith and trust in Hashem who do you believe in yourself you believe in diplomacy you believe in your weapons or you believe in Hashem what's he doing so tell us that yob was afraid that maybe he was Unworthy of God's Divine protection so he dve into Hashem counting on Hashem but he also took the ini should have he felt he needed to take what does that mean says the son what it means is maybe he was Unworthy of the ratio of initiative to Faith he wasn't on the level of a at that moment maybe because of his he was unworthy to say you know what God I don't have an army I don't need diplomacy I'm just putting all my faith in you he wasn't on that level and therefore he needed to show Hashem the faith not only with his lips he needs to show the Faith with his hands and his legs just like the Jewish people opposite the sea M God tells Moshe what are they DAV why are they frozen standing still daving you can't The Six Day War sit in DAV no Army no initiative no Pro preemptive strike on the Egyptian Air Force let's not preemptive imagine the cabinet of Israel is meeting should we strike the Egyptian Air Force preemptively we've dug hundreds of thousands of graves we turned the public parks into cemeteries we're anticipating a Slaughter should we strike preemptively can you imagine one of the ministers raises their hands and says no we should just St it I've brought to I'm going to hand out to helm let's divide up theum let's disband the Israeli Defense Forces and we'll DAV well DAV you can't do that hashem's response to and then the Israeli people would be slaughtered you get up say we put our faith in you so said you put your faith in me who do you think gave you IDF with a military Advantage who do you think made the Egyptians miscommunicate and therefore they were on the ground and some of their pilots the night before had a party which caused them to over sleep that morning and the person who called the shots for them to go into the air was out of was was inaccessible at the time so nobody could radio him who do you think orchestrated everything for you to preemptively strike them what are you talking about God says so there's a balance that we have to strike we show faith in hasem with our lips by doing we show faith in Hashem with our hands and feet by acting we have to go to the doctor we have to earn a living we have to put ourselves out there you know the sh crisis the people who are looking to get married and there's a challenge it's not I don't like you know crisis is not a nice word but there are challenges within within that Arena so can you imagine the person says I'm going to sit on my couch and I I'm going to send my husband shem's going to send my wife it's just going to happen I'm going to bump into them they're going to land on my doorstep Shem says you got to put yourself out there you got you got a network you got to be out there how's initiative work this is a critical point I've shared it before and I'm going to share it again because I was taught this point by my brother-in-law Joseph helin he's a lawyer in Israel he always says to me you know he's got to drum up his own business butm he has a wonderful successful legal practice and you know he's got to be the rain maker you got to you got to make your own business how do you make your business you're a lawyer you network you're emailing your contacts you fly in you meet with different people you're constantly networking whether you're an insurance you're a lawyer doctors have to rely on referrals all these jobs you have to network you have to he said to me he learned early on in his career this incredible insight into hisas into initiative we think we're doing initiative because our initiative provides the results and frankly that's the danger of initiative the danger of initiative is when we see a correlation between the results and the initiative we say thanks Hashem never mind we're good yeah right I've been dominating to you help me have business but then I come back and I have such success for my meetings I say you know what God you know what focus on other people I got it I'm good my meetings were successful I got it done right the famous joke also story never mind God I found a parking spot you know that one cing around so never mind I'm good he says he named early on and then I found MOS that support sources that support his Insight he said the initiative is not because the results correlate with the initiative but the initiative is a form of prayer the initiative is a form of faith and he says do you know how often I fly to the states I set up meetings I make phone calls I send out emails and all of a sudden I have a flurry of business that has nothing to do with the initiative I showed it's not that the contacts I met with ended up Landing me the business it's that for Hashem to be able to release the blessing in my life I needed to access it the key to access it the code to access it was my doing initiative so and people will tell you all the time in life you know you you you decided to put yourself out there you decided that you were going to work on whatever it is Project getting married having children having a job changing careers building it whatever it is you want to work on in life you made the decision to put yourself out there to take initiative and all of a sudden you see results that don't correlate at all with the initiative you showed because the initiative was not responsible for the results ultimately in life all the results that we enjoy come from Theon they come from Hashem however he set up a system where to access them we have to show our faith in him by taking initiative we have to be his partner he doesn't want a complacent apathetic passive world where we sit back on the couch and wait for things to happen he wants us to put ourselves out there to take initiative to make an effort to show some sacrifice and to show some compromise in some effort and then when the results come they don't necessarily come corresponding specifically with the initiative that we showed they come out of left field they come out of someplace that we never imagined that we never anticipated they would they would come at all when came to visit the King when he was sick when he was infirm you're dying and you're never going to live you're dying in this world and you have no future in the world to come it's a wonderful message God is already ordained as the prophet he came to tell him that the the the conclusion has already been set so turned to yes and he said Son of your your prophet is over get out I have a tradition from my grandfather that even if you have a sharp sword sitting on your neck never ever give up hope you never ever ever know what could happen never ever ever stop having faith you have to be a realist we don't believe in miracles right the last thing to do you're paying a to someone who's terminally ill and hospice with zero chance you know who who whose organs are shutting down I don't think you tell the family no don't give up Faith a miracle could happen I think things going to be great some of the worst things you can say and the worst rabbis say that everything's going to be okay keep ding Miracles can happen the person should feel for themselves even to the last moment you know what a miracle Could Happen could come out of nowhere I still believe we're entitled to believe that for ourselves not a great suggestion to say to someone else there are things where that's the attitude we should have you know likeu Gamu didn't walk around saying to other people gamova you know made off sto all your money gamova for you you've got diabetes gamova for you your car floated away in the parking lot from the flooding gam for you nak didn't earn that nickname because he was great at telling everyone else gamova for you he earned that nickname because he felt it for himself I'll give you another example we are taught that when we go through a particular crisis or challenging time we should use it as a springboard for personal growth we should say to ourselves what am I meant to learn from this not necessarily why did it happen to me right that's a mistake because that that creates a great sense of guilt and Trauma to say oh Hashem is punishing me for X oh why did I have why happen Hashem is punishing me for X that's not the tradition I believe the tradition the way I understand it is why is happening to me how can that motivate me to look at my life and want to change something ah I identify X needs to be changed I'm going to use that I went through y to inspire me to change X not necessarily because there's a correlation but because I'm going to use the crisis to learn to grow to want to change X so that's for us to do we go through the exercise of saying I'm going through this crisis H Let Me Be My for M let me investigate my ways and see what can I be better at but it's not for us to say oh I heard this terrible happen to you you know it occurs to me but the reason is cu you really need to work on X Y and Z so there's I'm giving you several examples where there are attitudes which our rabbis tell us that we're supposed to have for ourselves we're not supposed to project on others don't tell others gam don't tell others this is why this is happening to you don't tell others you don't have enough Faith or this is the ratio of Faith to initiative that you should show these are conversations we have to have with ourselves and not impose them in a in an Express of judgment on others these are things that we need to work on so here too turns to yes the great yesi says benot get lost get out of my room you're telling me I have no hope I have a tradition from a Aba from my grandfather that even if there's a sword resting on your neck even at that moment there's no way out I had someone for a meal on pesak a member of our community father was a holocaust Survivor he told me this unbelievable story I forgot which concentration camp he was in where for whatever reason he was rounded up by the Nazis made it as an example he wasn't trying to escape whatever minor I don't want to call it a violation he did nothing wrong the Nazis decided to hang him in the Public Square so they set up the Noose and he stood on the box and they kicked it out from under him and the Rope broke so the Nazi took out his gun and said Jew you can't die from hanging pointed the gun at him and shot and the gun jammed wow and at that moment the Nazi so frustrated said J get out of my face go back to your group could you imagine he he talked about his father he had amazing stories about his father who then went to Israel and fought for Israel 40 amazing stories about his father so could you imagine his father has a noose around talk about at that moment if you said to his father you have any shot you have any chance here of living any chance of living a noose around his neck the most evil people in the history of man are bent on killing him you have any chance of living zero the Rope broke not see points a gun he says oh my I can't believe I survived that now going to die this way you have any chance of living zero the gun jams Jeff ask Jeff what about his father unbelievable story right so again does that mean that we should then tell the terminally ill person in a hospice about to die you got to hear the story I heard about Jeff ood's father so you should know a miracle Could Happen your kidneys are going to come back the cancer is going to all disappear you're going no we're not entitled to say that can we with whatever crisis we're going through you feel wow that story is inspiring to me so you know what whatever happens it's meant to be gam but I live life with a level of faith that who knows what could be even if there's a sharp sword on my neck I never give up hope so it says the son of one of our greatest prophets tells kisia I'm a prophet I access the word of God God and I'm telling you God wants me to tell you you finished you're toast you're dying here in this world you have no hope in the world to come it's over and even therei says that's nice I have a different tradition about God that even when he says it's over it ain't over it's not over that salvation can come from the least expected places right I'm 50th Anniversary so I'm harping on the sixth day war but I wasn't alive then some of you were you all look way too young to have been alive then but maybe some of you were but but um if you would have asked the Jewish Community around the world the week before The Six Day War what are the chances that Israel walks away a hero are you crazy digging hundreds of thousands of graves expecting an absolute disaster right I I mentioned in aush a few weeks ago that the American Jewish leadership called on the government of Israel Begg them send the children to America get them out yeah if we're going to have a future please Evacuate the children of is not the children of a kibuts not the children of a city Evacuate the children of Israel there's going to be and and look so the of the jewi people of the state of Israel there may not be a state of is they're about to be wiped off the map driven into the sea and 6 days later although we had a speaker here in the sh who loved to say he was so upset it was not a Six Day War it was a six-h hour War it took five and a half more days to finish up the job but it was over in the first half a day and he so we think it's such a miracle to call it a Six Day War it was not even six days yeah we should not impose that standard on others but in our own lives when we are going through much less crisis than being wiped off the map and driven in the city or being hung on a noose in the square of the concentration camp or being terminally ill in hospice we are going through other frustrations about well the construction workout will I find a parking spot will the job interview will my child get into the school of their choice will there I don't mean to minimize any of these things which as we go through them feel overwhelming but we should tap into that strength that we know we have which is putting our trust and faith in Hashem saying I'm going to pray like it entirely depends on him I'm going to take the initiative like entirely depends on me I'm going to do everything I can and once I'm done doing everything I can it's up to Hashem I'm not going to stress out about something that's in the future that I don't know what can be will that help my life it'll hurt my life the stress and the anxiety about worrying about what will be with something I can't control only results in high blood pressure and diabetes and and heart disease and obesity and broken relationships because nobody wants to be around you because you're so stressed and anxious and you take it out on them it's self-destructive if if the anxiety drives us to do the best we can then that's part of the work as if it all depends on you so if you're nervous about did I allocate enough time to work on that project have I given the project all the attention it deserves have I done everything I need to do that's a healthy expression of drive but once you've done and you can say I've done I've visited every doctor taking the medicine I'm doing what they've told me to do I'm still going to worry what's going to be what will happen in 3 months when I do the next blood test and I check to see whether it worked what will those three months of worrying now I know I'm not it's not easy I know it's easy to say don't worry but worry both lacks faith in God but it's self-destructive we absolutely undermine our health our mental health our physical health and the health of the relationships around us so we do everything our can we're driven within our initiative and then we let go and we let God the rest is up to Hashem and whatever will be will be we let go and we enjoy the ride so he says yes says I am tasked with transmitting the word of God and I'm here to tell you you're done says that's nice you're but I have a tradition and my tradition says it's never done never done you never were should we do a little bit more couple more minutes it's 9:30 okay you stop here but this is the effort for all of us to work on and every day it changes what's the ratio and proportion of Faith to initiative how much is too much by the way there are people who do too much I'll conclude with this example okay so take the example of work so there are people who say I have a responsibility to support to be the bread of my family and I aspire to accomplish wealth and I want to contribute to the world so they work 16 18 hours a day their health suffers in the process they never see their family their children are are are are lost and they say well I'm just showing initiative what do you mean that's my so the answer is no Hashem could achieve what you want that money and all the other with working much less so where's that line that's my point that's the's point it's up to each of us to establish where the line is but we have to be thinking too few people are thinking about it some are lazy and they fake having too much amuna they barely do any effort or work or initiative and they rely on they want to know why Hashem is not you know that's called uh that's called um whatever relying on on the community or relying on the social services being on welfare right I'm putting my faith in Hashem and then relying on welfare or your father-in-law you know that you know you all know that story too right everyone knows that joke too father-in-law meets the future son-in-law and has all conversation what are you planning to do in life I have faith in Hashem really what school are you and what are you going to do what's the job Hashem is going to take care of me do you have a plan do you have a strategy what's the three-year plan Hashem is going to take care of me and then he goes to the wife no what do you think about who our daughter brought home he said uh I like him why do you like him he thinks I'm God so you know that that is a false sense of Faith so you could have counterfeit faith and you can show extreme too much EX you know too much too much initiative the key in life is to be thoughtful and every day to be reexamining what is the ratio and proportion what is the appropriate balance of initiative to Faith how much is God waiting for me to do because he gave me the tools and skills to do it and how much am I supposed to draw line and say done I've done what I've can I've done what's reasonable to do and now is when I'm supposed to let go and let God and this is where my amuna kicks in and there's no set answer there's no standard answer we all answer it differently the key is to be thinking about this question each and every day have a fantastic day and a dry day