Part 39: Keep it Simple

all right good morning everyone we continue our study of I would say not study of our support group for amuna where we're all working on and reinforcing our sense of faith and trust in Theon sh we are on page me Zan page 47 o letter We are continuing to learn the Shalom the SL on the topic of amuna that is in his section called t if all and all service ofm requires a sense of clarity you can't just Coast through life you can't just allow momentum to carry you but you need Clarity and you need to be dorish you need to be searching and asking what does Hashem want from me what's the purpose of this Mitzvah why am I doing it to always ask why am I lighting these candles and why am I listening to this Milla and why am I keeping shabas and why does it matter what I put in my mouth and why what is it all about how does it transform me what is the deeper meaning and purpose if that's true for all mitos all the more so does the mitvah of again we often don't think of Amun as a Mitzvah we think I gotta hear the mill I like the can I gotta keep the Kos I gotta do I got a long list of thing got a C in the kitchen for PES I got to eat the mat I gotta we have a long list of mitzvos and on that list we too often neglect and we forget that on that list of mitzvos is Amun oh yeah I got to have faith oh yeah I have to remember each day that there's Hashem he created the universe he created me he knows everything in my life nothing is happening by chance oh yeah I have to remember all that too we've talked about this before but the the core mitz is to live with is to live with a simple level of faith not to over complicate not to overanalyze not to over pontificate but rather to live with the simple Faith it's not just that the beginning what should launch our life of faith is you know what if every book I read I know there's an author if every building I enter I know there's an architect if every painting I look at and admire I know there's a painter artist so this world I operate in clearly it has a Creator too that's a don't overthink it just realize that there's a greater power that there's a greater source that the world has a greater meaning and purpose that's how it all begins why should you believe because that's what the almighty wants for you to believe so if you know there's a creator of the universe if you know he's inves Ed in your life then believe because you know that that's what he asks of us SOB is saying not everybody agrees to this I want it to be clear that this is a it's not the universal opinion of everyone but and his tradition he's saying that once you begin to pontificate and analyze and doubt and Challenge and then you're no longer doing amuna now you're studying Torah now you're engaging in some other process wonderful it's not amuna amuna is that first inkling it's that moment of acceptance amuna is that Clarity that there is a God there's meaning there's order there's purpose and once you get beyond that initial sense of now you've moved Beyond theah used to say after all of my after all of my investigation and Analysis to understand the depth of Mitzvah the reasons of Mitzvah after all that I do that I set that aside and when I do the Mitzvah it's for one reason because hasem asked me to it's an expression of my amuna let me put it to you differently by telling you a beautiful Insight of the m m of appears in the back of the gamar the standard edition of the gamar and the mar asks the following in the gamar gar says we read last week in that the the Jewish people when they stood on har and God said I want to make you an offer I've got this incredible thing called the Torah it's the blueprint for life it's how you'll discover happiness how you navigate the world what do you say you're interested and what did the Jewish people respond what is that iconic phrase that we know and associate with our we will accept we will do and we will listen and the mar oh it's coming it's okay the mar asks so thear shab says that the Jewish people people at that moment that they said nasma and they put NASA before nishma they received two crowns the Angels descended from above and they put two crowns on the head of every Jew at har one for NASA and one for nishma says the M why you get two crowns how many crowns should they have received one Crown because the fact that they said Nas before nishma that's what's incredible they said don't even tell me the favor I'm in I'll do it whatever asking me I'm good but what happens if someone says to you Penny says Rabbi could you do me a favor and I say penny you're so good to us for so long whatever you need I'm in don't we still have to have the follow-up conversation okay what's the favor so the fact that they said nishma why do you get a crown for nishma they needed to know what to do they needed to hear what am I supposed to do the only impressive thing is they put NASA before nishma but once they said said Nas of course they still needed to say nishma so they should have received one Crown to reflect the greatness of putting Nas said before nishma why two crowns what's the crown of nishma the Mas says something important says the Mas let me give you a different metaphor says I want you to do something I say you've been even better than Penny to me for so long and whatever in the world you need whatever you want whatever need that's the kind of husband I am I'm all in and then she tells me what it is and it makes no sense to me this never happens but in in theory it's a h it's a hypothetical it's a hypothetical it makes absolutely no sense to me it's illogical it's irrational it's counterintuitive maybe I think it's even wrong it makes no sense to me so if I say nishma I say okay tell me what it is you want me to do and she tells me what it is you want me to do and it makes no sense to me and I go do it is that amazing yes husband of the Year absolutely but what makes it even more amazing is if I say I want you know I'm committed to do whatever you want then she tells me what it is and it makes no sense and nishma says the m means help me understand why I want to get into your head I want to understand where you're coming from help me understand why that matters and why you see it that way and why that makes sense help me understand help me understand why so says the mar that's why they got two crowns the crown for nishma nishma and nishma doesn't mean okay I said I do the favor I need to now know what it is it means I want to understand I want to Plum The Depths I want to understand the meaning I want to see the reason I want to connect with it I don't just want to do it like I'm a Hired Hand I don't want to just do it like I have a checklist mindlessly doing it I want to do it mind fully I want to understand Jewish people said to Hashem you're Torah you're making us an offer we have to change our entire lives and Lifestyles Nas we're in and God said okay here's what you have to do and they said the nishma even though we're already committed to doing it so it shouldn't make a difference whether we understand it or not we're still committed to understand it we want to learn it we want to understand it we want to get to it but in the end of the day why did they do it so we fulfill nishma we have an obligation to read the to give to make we have an obligation to drink Ackle we have an obligations on purum so Hashem says here's the holiday of purum the rabis acting as God's agents said here's a holiday of per and we said Nas we're in and then God said okay here's the list of what you need to do and we still said nishma we want to study we want to understand we want to see but if you ask me why am I hearing the Milla why why am I making a why am I giving and why am I making M would I say to you oh there's a beautiful reason m a famous is it because I'm I'm trying to create friendship no the answer is you know why because God said so when it comes to any Mitzvah if someone were to wake us in the middle of the night and say why do you do that Mitzvah the answer should be because when God says jump I say how high because God said to do it he's the creator of the universe he sustains me he gives me everything that I have I literally am nothing without him and when he says do I jump okay that's wonderful do you understand anything about it yeah yeah I've studied it let me explain to you the deeper reason but why do you do it because Hashem said to do it and that's what the is describing this tradition from the BM you have auna in God you see God in your life yeah why because God said so to see God in my life to see everything that unfolds whether I'm sitting in traffic or can't find the parking spot whether I'm suffering from a cold that won't go away whe whether my potato Coco came out good or terrible whether my kids coming home and giving me a problem whether whatever from Big to small is happening in my life I see it coming from and coordinated by Hashem why because Hashem said so what do you mean he runs the world ah but what leads you to have amuna oh I go to this class let me tell you all these things we've learned let me tell you about amuna but if you ask the immediate reason life has to be driven by aunap do not over complicate keep things simple in who speaks yish even though I've merited to study it and to see it and to understand it in its core she could say I'm not right but I believe I'm not right but I believe okay I'm a fool but I'm a n i don't fulfill by reading philosophy I don't even fulfill amuna by studying about amuna I fulfill amuna by being a m it's very important because there's all kinds of people who pontificate and research and write and and have opinions but then when it comes push comes to shove something's going on in their life they forget all about that you're supposed to at that moment turn to and think about Hashem I go to an amuna class and I'm on the amuna WhatsApp group and I subscribe to seven amuna newsletters and I have my own amuna blog and I teach amuna and then something happens and I get bent out of shape I get angry I get anxious I forget to have gratitude what happened to oh yeah I forgot that that's actually supposed to be in practice oh yeah you know it's like I read seven diet newsletters and I belong to three gyms and I have a trainer and the guru and then the chocolate cake presents itself and I you know swallow it down in one bite you say what what happened to the books you're reading the newsletters the blogs you're preaching the oh yeah no I for at the moment of the chocolate cake I totally forgot about that I just love chocolate cake so amuna the proof is in the pudding amuna and the Fulfillment of the Mitzvah of amuna is not when we're sitting around what we're doing on Wednesday mornings we are not y we don't get a check of amuna get a check next to T Torah we're learning Torah and that's wonderful you get a check next to taking time out of your busy schedule and not doing the alternative things you could have been doing you get a check next to AEM working on yourself but amuna you don't get right now you know when you get amuna if you go outside and somebody blocked you in and now you're going to be late you get AA if the class is over you look at your phone you got a text that really Bo you get a when not you're learning about it but when it's time to put it into practice why is it that you don't fulfill am in the moment that you're contemplating am cuz what is amuna at the core of amuna is self nullification at the core of amuna is the recognition that I am nothing I have no Independence I have no autonomy I am ultimately nothing on my own his bathless it's nullification it is the utter Reliance and dependence on the almighty so the moment I'm thinking and contemplating and calculating and concluding I am actually promoting the sense of I I am thinking I am calculating I am analyzing I am thinking and contemplating and concluding well then that's not amuna because real amuna is I'm nothing so the two can't go hand in hand the moment you're thinking about amuna you're not practicing amuna real amuna is stopping to think and starting to jump that's real amuna again this is not Universal there are different opinions on issue but we're learning this opinion of is to transcend everything you think and know and to just feel to just feel you're going to sit with your spouse and talk about what is love do we love one what is love how do we Define love and am I feeling that love and is my love for you different than the love for the children and and you say just be quiet and and just love me just just just take the garbage out like I asked you why did you have to get into this whole poem about what is love and do I love you and can I love you without taking the garbage out and is garbage the only manifestation of love he said just just stop talking stop talking stop thinking and show me that you love me because love is in practice so the moment that you're talking what is auna do I feel auna does auna mean I have to keep Kos I have to can I have auna but do things my way God says just stop talking stop talking because the moment you're talking and you're thinking you're not feeling you're not nullifying you're not surrendering you know even love is to surrender to the emotion of love I don't want to oversimplify love love is its own complicated emotion and to us love is about what you do not how you feel Love Is A Verb not a noun so to us love is about but but love again is about surrender surrendering to the emotion of of love and amuna is is similar the says that when understand in its truth as you will know the moment you know something you understand something that's the understanding of man is the opposite of your understanding it's despite not understanding you take that leap of faith it's despite it not making sense it's despite it not being clear the real test of amuna is not when everything makes sense and everything comes into a clear picture and everything is wonderful and hky Dory and blessings are flowing that's not the test of amuna test of amuna is when nothing makes sense and you lack Clarity test ofuna is when you feel far away and distance and you don't feel close that's when you have to fake it till you make it that's when you have to practice the amuna nonetheless take that leap that's when you have to live that way has a famous Insight says says and human psychology has only caught up with this Insight now Thousand Years Later less than 800 years says after the actions follow the heart meaning our emotions are conditioned by the things that we do do do and then you'll feel if you wait to feel you'll often never do but if you start doing it'll make you feel a certain way So based on this psychology exactly positive psychology but it's not only positive psychology in your thinking it's more positive practices will lead to a positive attitude what you do will impact how you feel for example there's tremendous amount of research about volunteering people who suffer from clinical depression if you volunteer the generosity of volunteering helps overcome depression and I'm not simplifying I don't mean to minimize clinical depression it's a significant issue and and it's not as simple as you know go volunteer at the soup kitchen and and you know get out of your rut and being stop being in this bad attitude but whether it's whether it's non-clinical depression you know just you're in a rut or literally clinical depression you could research this you'll see that psychology now encourages you that if you volunteer if you get outside of yourself that you're go volunteer go do and go give and you will be transformed in the way that you that you feel so that's what he's saying here the maral is saying that um even when you don't feel you got to do even when you don't feel amuna you got to live amuna and by living amuna you will come to feel amuna so many people think you know we are sophisticated modern Orthodox Jews we use big words like anthological and axiological and you know Rabbi salich and we study CS Lewis and kard and Kant and and and therefore somebody who has a you know that old Babushka who's are worn out even though she doesn't understand and can't translate one word in it but she talks about hem and feels hasem and she that's very superficial I take philosophy classes and advanced philosophy classes and read philosophy books and study philosophy and I have a m no no no you're nothing she's everything to get to that level of amuna so we often think I have to study it till I'm compelled to live it and it's the opposite live it and you'll be compelled to feel it so every time you begin to feel yourself getting anxious every time you begin to feel you're haunted by worry every time you're have a tinge of a desire for Revenge every time that you don't understand why what's happening is happening and you're living with doubt and uncertainty in all of those moments and everything I described means that there's somebody feels one of those every day so in those moments is when we have to like the exercise in the chocolate cake we have to remember no this it's time the rubber is meeting the road take a deep breath think about everything we talk about and learn there's Hashem he created the world he loves us things are for a reason and even though I don't feel it I'm going to say it and I'm going to live it and I'm going to practice it and doing that day in and day out leads to the result of of feeling it leads to the result of feeling it again I'm coming back to the comparison of love because faith and love I think are corollaries to a degree of one another but they say that again if you see love not as a noun but love is a a a uh a verb if you practice love you'll come to love if you practice love you'll come to love invest yourself practice love do the things that are love therapists use this in therapy all the time too so you're in a rut in your relationship so you feel alienated and distance so you're not getting along go out of your way to love to be giving to one another to compromise towards one another to surrender to one another because that act itself will yield the feeling as a result not always there can be substantive issues which are not going to be overcome by that but if it's just a rut in marriage then the answer is not I don't feel like doing that for you right now I don't feel like being close to you I don't feel like being intimate emotionally physically or in any way I don't feel close to you right now and I'm waiting for when I'll feel it again then we'll connect in that way no start connecting in that way and then you're going to start feeling it and the same is true with amuna don't wait to feel Faith and then you'll practice it practice a life of faith and the result will be you will start feeling it the complete notion of amuna is something which permeates and resonates throughout our entire being and it has three manifestations there's am there's an intellectual amuna intellectual is partially what we do here on Wednesday mornings it's reading philosophy it's studying Amun it's exploring evidence for the presence of the almighty it's in the brain it's intellectual it's cognitive there's such a thing as in your heart something just happened to you which was so meaningful so coincidental seemingly random so unlikely that you just feel in your heart connected and in love with Hashem you know he's there you know he's guiding your life you feel his presence you feel his guiding hand on your shoulder you feel his Embrace in your life that's the amuna in the heart and the the says brings in the name of some a student of the so we think that these two forms of the int ual amuna and the experiential amuna we think that they are cories of one another we think they complement one another we think they go hand in hand with one another but the tradition that is saying is that the two types of amuna you know they say maybe it's a take off of this the farthest distance between any two objects in the world is the distance between our head and our heart the farthest distance between any two objects in the whole world is the distance between our head and our heart go back to the chocolate cake example your head knows Don't Go Near the chocolate cake your heart wants the chocolate cake who usually wins heart a heart usually beats the head and the farthest two distance what do you mean just they're right there they're they're a few feet a few inches from one another let the head just tell the heart stop craving the chocolate cake what are you doing but the farthest distance that's why there's a gamar you know the gamar says that among the people we send home from war ineligible to for combat is uh is somebody who's ra of heart the interprets it means a man who talks between putting on his hand F and his head F at ineligible for combat you're going home really that's the worst of AA in the world he talked in between putting on the hand filling and the head filling really what in the world does that have to do with what kind of soldier he'll be are they not worth AOS that you would make someone ineligible we don't say if you don't keep sh you don't keep kosher you lar you're not honest in business go home from war the only thing we say have to go home from war is to be a talk between putting on the armed filling and the head filling that's the worst a so I once suggested that maybe what the gamar means is what is the symbolism of talking between the armed Fain and the head Fain it's a disconnect between what's up here and what's in here it's a disconnect if you talk in between you've created a barrier a disconnect between what you know and what you do you can't have a soldier on the front line who has a disconnect between what they know and what they do that their Officer says do this and they know it intellectually but they have trouble bringing it into practice physically so says the intellectual am is as distant from experiential as the heavens is distant from the Earth but there's a third category or expression of it's the am of the limbs it's when you're it's when your um flesh and your bones it's when your organs and your veins feel amuna you have such confidence such knowledge such experience that there's a God in the world and that he loves you and that he is guiding your life when you feel it so intensely it's not just intellectually it's not just something in your heart that emotionally your entire Essence your entire being feels it has to be so rooted in the heart till your entire body feels we say in daving from that all of my bones will say some say that's the origin of shuckling that when you're shuckling trying to get this rhythm shuckling is like a meditative experience you're getting into this Rhythm but it's also you're saying that's not lip service my whole body God is singing your praise my whole body is is in this rhythm of knowing that you are here when you lack in your being in your body you might be in a situation where intellectually you know that God will take care of it and emotionally you know God will take care of it but your body is reacting as if God will not take care of it either because you're running away from something or because you're taking action which shows that you really don't have faith in God's hands or I would add though he doesn't say it explicitly your body you're physically sick over something so you come to the she intellectually you know that hashm will take care of it and emotionally you know that hasm will take care of it you pour your heart over to hel him you cry you know it but your body is physically sick because really in your core you're not so sure is going to take care of it and you get physically sick you can't sleep at night so even though your brain during the day thinks Hashem will take care of it your heart during the day thinks hem will take care of it if your body can't sleep at night it's revealing do you really think Hashem is going to take care of it so this third level of amuna yes no but I I I think the fear is you know that God will take care of it but you may feel that you're worried about how he'll take care of it that will be so painful to no really so Penny's looking for a Hector to still worry but I think that's where the worry comes from and I think everyone here everyone here has children in Jewish schools we watching the newspaper and thinking with these threats and things the way the world has changed newspaper how about our driveways but yeah right but um you're right to a certain degree but it's an excuse you'll excuse me because the the real the height of amuna which I'm not gesting is easy or it's easily accessible but the amuna that we're striving to live is such that we say you know what I'm not worried about how I will take care of it he's my father does the child say I'm worried how my father's going to take care of it you're in the car you're on your way somewhere does the child say what if we're going to a place I'm not going to enjoy what if we're going to what if this is not good for me what if we're going to do hard labor and it's going to be so hard on me what if we're going to be whatever child's like my dad's driving the car wherever we go it's going to be great what about doing something for help oh so that's different our initiative and the effort that we have to take and if I'm worried will I do a good job on my initiative that's a worthy worry but when we've done all that we can right anything that's in our control anything that's a result of our initiative we need to do and we should worry whether we'll do it well because that motivates us to do it well well but when we've done all we can when we've taken all the initiative when there's something that's beyond our control then I'm going to give you an example which is unattainable I'm not I'm not setting it as a standard it's almost unattainable but I'm trying to tell you the level of auna possible somebody has a lump somebody has a concern they go for a biopsy it takes three or four days which is the greatest form of torture in the universe until they get the results what are those three or four days like who cannot help but be nervous right you could get results that are going to alter the course of your life your family's life everything your entire existence so is there more initiative to take then no you had the lump you went to the doctor you took that initiative you scheduled the biopsy you took that initiative you endured the pain of the biopsy the initiative is done the highest level of amuna would say I'm not even giving thought to the results of this biopsy because there's nothing I can do to influence it and it's in God's hands and if it comes back positive which is negative ironically if it comes back bad it's for a reason and God will be there and guide me through it and I don't know what it will mean or what it will result in but I know that it's not random in chance and if it comes back all okay then it's all fantastic but if I live with that high level of amuna then I'm not even giving a second I'm not awake at night and it's not on my mind all day and I'm not not stopping and thinking about it because real amuna means that not just intellectual amuna Because by the way people can when they're waiting for the biopsy intellectually say yeah no I have Amun whatever it will be Hashem will be with me I've heard people say it we've said it you could wait and say you could even feel it in your heart you know you're daving to Hashem you're pouring your heart over Hashem I took a biopsy I have complete faith in you that whatever the results are they're meant to be the question is in your bones in your kishkas that's what he's saying this third level of amuna which is your kishkas is it lip service are you just saying intellectually I know it's going to be okay God are you just saying emotionally and you're tahil and you're doing God I know it's in your hands but you can't sleep at night and you've get you're getting a bleeding ulcer and you're H you're nervous out of your mind because you're Kish are not reflecting the amuna you claim to have in your head and your heart I'm not giving that as the standard that that's what's expected it's almost impossible to say yeah a biopsy oh yeah I forgot I took that I'm still waiting for the results yeah no no I such auna I forgot to think about it again I'm not suggesting that that's even attainable let alone is the expectation of us I'm just describing it as the example of the POS possibility of what is we should all know you should all know that there are people who are on that level I know people who are on that level that was a great example go and pay someone to change the result right so that's the it should be the easiest way to do one that you have to figure out how to do something you know the stuff that seems to be in our more right you have a difficult decision to make and I also think I mean I'm kind of with her because I'm a warrior and even though I have je I know that end and sometimes you find out in this life sometimes you don't that that there was a reason but I think the anxiety and and all the emotions come from what if that if it is the bad outcome you're going to be going even though it's for a good reason you can accept that like a child we don't we're like children our parents are holding us down to get a spinal cap and we're saying how could our parents be complicit in it but we know as adults we know that has you know the parents meant well you can still be very anxious about all the pain or the loss or the know what you good but anxiety is being anticipation is different than worry meaning if someone says you need to endure pain you could be concerned about the pain because pain is pain all the Ammon in the world will not turn pain into pleasure so but are you worried about just the pain or are you worried in anticipation because you're worried what will this mean how will this result why is this happening so I agree with you there's a Nuance within but I'm describing that more as anticipation than I am describing it as worry if you know you have to go give a procedure sep yeah if you know you have to undergo a painful procedure worry means I'm worried what the results will be in the consequences and what it will mean and why it's happening anticipation is I know that I've pain scheduled at 10: a.m. tomorrow and I I'm anticipating that pain it's it's the pain of anticipating the pain let's just finish up this paragraph in the I don't know if everyone says it it's practice in between and making there's a beautiful on Friday night which talks about transforming the home from the mundane to the holy from the weekday to shabas it's a beautiful beautiful so in that the word appears three times and by the way just in general on Friday night we say three times we say it in our silent then we say it in together and then we say it in KES so the uh it says I will testify God that you created the world in six days and then I will repeat it a second time and a third time God you created the whole universe you are the Creator why do we say it three times because to truly testify that you God are the Creator means I believe it in my head I believe it in my heart and I believe it in my kishkas I believe it at all three levels all of my being all of my bones will say God there is no one like you how do you get to that level you know the irony is that's what he's ending here with the person who gets to that level that their kishkas know that there is AEM is not the person who studied it and has a PHD in philosophy it's the person who's just a it's it's just the it's the simple very simple faith that gets you there I I love to quote my friend Steve Berg once wrote an article where he talked about the fact that he says today's high school day school jewishly educated young ladies they can sit with tah and they know what Rashi and the izra they could tell you what all the commentaries say on every PK offill they know what Tex says on the and how the structure works and they know everything mik says onum our grandmothers couldn't translate one word of tum they didn't even know the name of a commentator let alone what the commentator said said but why is it that our grandmothers could cry when they said tum and our children struggle to connect so because if theim is just upstairs in the mo if it's in the intellectual oh yeah I heard a great class heard a great Sher on tum I know what all the commentaries say and we compared and contrasted and we studied and we analyzed but is much more than that has on the wall over here her grandmother's tum because thatum that she poured over she completed tum every week and thatum that she poured over as she daved for her children and for her for her child for her grandchildren thatum represents not cognitively amuna that represents he's sitting there you know what it takes to say words for a significant amount of time every day that you have no idea what you're saying if I gave you a book in Japanese and said just forget what it means you don't know what it means I don't know just just say these words for 45 minutes a day you'd go out of your mind if I said do it because you care about your grandchildren you want them to stay on the path you want them to you want to have n from them it's a tremendous m nees to do and I'm not saying by the way that we should stop learning and understanding what it means because somehow that's undermining I'm just saying that we shouldn't confuse sophisticated amuna with Amun we shouldn't confuse sophisticated learning with the simple leap of faith to say I know this Hashem people I ding for including myself God I'm taking the leap I'm jumping out I'm I'm holding on to you all right we'll pick it up next week yes