Part 23: Trust with Action, Not Just Lip Service

okay good morning hope everyone had a great y it's good to see everybody so we continue our study of amuna our weekly dose of CFE and injection of amuna we uh we've been studying last week we began this wonderful work from the Kish of carlot of b um which I told you last week is much is more is about much more than just but that chapter those chapters are the most famous and we skipped the first chapter in which he outes how obvious it should be that there is a God in the world all one has to do is open their eyes God blessed us with this gift of these two things that can allow us to perceive his presence in the world he has a great language what does he say here [Applause] um I forget the exact language but he describes that that God gave us these eyes and these ears and these senses and this perception and if for no other reason than to understand and see that he exists to be able to contemplate the universe and recognize that things don't happen by chance and randomly but that there's order and purpose that if when we see a picture or a sculpture or a building or a book we know that there was an architect or an author or a sculptor or a painter then certainly we look at the detail and the minutia of the universe and we know that it who had a Creator so that was in the first chapter we've been doing the second chapter that deals with and last week we saw that the defines that right trust security faith in God is not about believing that Hashem will do for me what I want it's not that here is the outcome I desire and I trust Hashem will provide it that's foolishness that's self worship that's to see ourselves as un parallel or on the same plane as Hashem that I know what's best for me I know what should happen and I want God to conform to my vision for my life that's arrogant that's not actually serving Hashem that's using Hashem to serve ourselves to serve Hashem is to say that I don't know what's best for me and I concede I don't understand the mysteries of the universe and I will operate as best I can within the world and the reality that I see and that I perceive but beyond that I concede I recognize I forfeit I submit that God is the omnipotent infinite being and what he decides what he determines is what's right is what's just and also is in my best interest so defined by the is not I have faith Hashem will make things work out the way I want instead is I have faith that however they work out is what's meant to be very very very different definition of not I have faith now according to that first definition of if things don't work out the way you wanted you're going to lose your doesn't last very long if faith means I trust Hashem will make things work out the way I want well the very first time that life throws you a curveball and things didn't work out the way you wanted you doed for someone who was sick and they didn't survive you doed for ex and it didn't happen the very first time that life throws your curveball you'll be out of there you'll be out of there I remember once counseling a woman who became she was a balish chuba from New York and whoever was marari her whatever Rabbi inspired her on the one hand deserves great credit for having inspired her but on the other hand really um should be sued for malpractice because he he basically unless she misrepresented or misunderstood what he was saying but she basically said like I don't understand I became religious because my life is supposed to be utopian after that I became religious because then I was supposed to have a happy marriage and children would give me n and parasa and good health and like if you believe in God if you have amuna and you do what he wants keep Shas and kosher and you're honest and you don't say lashara and you're good then only good things will happen to you good things happen to good people and whoever told her that or communicated that to her sold her a bad bill of goods that's just not the way it is we don't believe that religion illuminates religion opens our eyes faith and a life of Faith gives us the tools to navigate this complicated and difficult world the world that throws us curveballs we're not religious we don't believe in Hashem and submit to him because by doing so everything is good that's just not the way the the world works we do so because even when it's not good we know it is good that no matter what the result is and no matter what happens again what what comes out and I find this I don't know how people live without amuna to just believe that whatever happens in your life is a chance it's random it's random terrible tragedy loss blessing braa in both directions it's random it's chance it's nature it's natural it's you're just a statistic someone you know and love got diagnosed with something they're just a statistic X percentage of people are going to get that disease and they're just a statistic what gives you the faith and the courage to get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other when you're just a statistic means the knowledge when you wake up in the day that whatever comes your way that day whatever happens that's beyond your control what in our control we should try to do the best we can but that whatever happens that's out or beyond our control that it's not purposeless it's not random it's not meaningless there's a reason for it and don't we just want to know that there's a reason don't we want to know that there's a explanation that there's meaning that it's serving some higher calling that someday we will understand why it had to unfold that way and why that was in our best interest even if we can't perceive it right then so Faith gives you the strength and the support and the courage to endure whatever challenge is going to come your way so that's definition of is not I believe Hashem I trust Hashem will make things work out the way I want is I trust however they work out is what's meant to be is for the good and I believe I believe in Hashem I've got that faith in him okay page 44 [Applause] 45 we're continue with number two according to this faith and trust in hm are one and the same faith is the general approach of a believing person it's the general Outlook so means seeing the world with the belief with the knowledge that there is a God that he created the universe that he's intimately involved in everything that happens in the universe it's a general outlook on life be is specific that what happens to me was not by chance I was meant to be sitting in this traffic I was meant for that to not work out I was meant for this to happen to me in the positive it's not a qu you know I told the story a million times tell you this here yet I don't remember I love the story about the guy who's driving around he's looking for the parking spot right never mind God I found the parking spot right even whether it's for bad or for good for bad or for good it's meant to be it's specific to us amuna speaks to Theory theoretically I know there's a God who created the universe this compelling evidence that the world didn't come into existence on its own is in the world of practice great there's a lot of people who excel in amuna and they stink at if you ask them you believe in God absolutely is there a God there's a God they cre yeah he created the world and now when proof comes to when the rubber hits the road they erase from the equation they get bent out of shape they get nervous they're anxious they're angry they get revenge they operate their lives as if there's no God so the two don't always go together you can excel in and you can fail in if you're excelling in you excel in it's easy to trust God at times when the need to trust does not play an important part in one's life but to kick in to your to use to have a reservoir of when it matters that's much harder it's easy to have lip service to because that's theoretical like a person is enjoying their imagination their dreams and as the days go on he fools himself and fools others so it's easy to walk around and say you're fooling others and yourself as if you're some great mindman you're some great believer you have such Faith you're so spiritual you're so amazing but in your own personal life you're filled with anxiety and angst and resentment and anger and fear and worry and so on you've totally erased or cut God out of the equation of your life in the practical sense in the here and now and the real test to decide whether what's on your lips and whether it's in your heart are equal do you really live it or have you just memorized you've taught your lift means you've taught your lips to to mutter to cherk you've habituated your lip like a parrot you could teach a parakeet to say so are you just that parakeet are you just that parakeet who's who keeps you know uh what's the word what do parakeet do are you the parakeet who's who's mimicking who's imitating who's been trained to just say but in your heart you don't have it when you run into a moment an event an episode that requires and at that moment at that hour the role of trust is to guide your actions to calm you to soothe you to heal you do you in that moment turn to or no do you get bent out of shape or in that moment do you forget there's a God so you were the parakeet who kept saying but now in that moment you totally forget there's a God you don't make use of your instead instead you turn towards mortal allies to useless and en Noble strategies instead you think everything isn't the here and now and he's going to give an example what does he mean by that this is what we see in life you have a guy Ru right and Ru is always speaking he's the guy telling other people talk about what do you mean but will take care of he's always condemning excess effort he always says what are you trying so hard it's up to hem what rely on hem lean on hem and he describes an Ador of the people who are chasing after now he happens to have a successful business so ruin is a wealthy man with a successful business and he's constantly lecturing other people what are you working so hard why do you think it's all up to your initiative why don't you see Hashem in your life he's lecturing everyone else his store he does not lack customers and he doesn't have to put in a huge amount of effort because he's got a great business he's got a great internet startup he's got some great business he's got residual income it doesn't take an enormous amount of work he is just counting his money he's raking it in so he's busy lecturing everybody else at sh stay longer for that where's your kavana what are you running out it's up to he's lecturing everybody about he loves the concept of he lectures everyone else about it because even that concept Smiles upon him in other words he's got a lot of success in life so it's easy it looks compatible for him to be lecturing everyone else about says however suddenly we're surprised to see that Ru Ru the guy with all the kav and and he says the and he tells everybody you know you don't have to work so hard so many hours just trust Hashem it's up to Hashem all of a sudden we find him conferring secretly with his assistants and Consultants because what happened Shimon opened the store across the street from Riven all these years ruin had a monopoly on the business he's raking in the money he's got passive income he doesn't have to work too hard because he's got the Monopoly he's lecturing the world about and now shimon's opening up across the street and what do we find out that ruane is conspiring with the Distributors if you sell to him then I'm not going to sell your product in my store and he's talking to his assistance how can we undercut the price and what can we do to take care of this potential Ral Ruan is very upset by the threat at the beginning he keeps his feelings to himself he's embarrassed to reveal them to his acquaintances fearing their derision but with time he loses the sense of with time he loses his shame and what happens he now openly confronts and combats and undercuts this rival he gravitates towards the Crooked path his sense of Shame evaporates and he openly commits low and deplorable actions in public right so he takes out big ads and he is busy gossiping with the world about how terrible Shimon stores and shimon's customer service and Shimon can't compete and he goes to the Distributors and he comes up with a conniving scheme and he has all he goes to the bank and he says you better not run the account for shimon's store what happens the competition between him and his rival becomes widely known the talk of town and he still feels no shame but rather he comes up with a baseless and untrue reasons and explanations to justify his actions over time he becomes even more sophisticated he adds new explanations claiming that everything he's doing against this rival for the sake of Heaven it's morally acceptable in other words not only does he fail to employ when it counts but and not only does he viciously attack and undermine and undercut and try to prevent Shimon from opening his own business and having a but what he does is something we all do the G says we all come to do this to justify our actions we don't just recognize that we're doing something wrong we turn it into a Mitzvah no you don't understand my store I take care of the poor people shimon's not going to do it if Shimon hurts me I won't be able to give staka and look at all the community institutions that I'm supporting so what I'm doing is not for myself I'm undercutting Shimon so that my store can Thrive so I can continue to be a pillar at the sh and on the L Society at the school and give to tomabas and therefore I need your help in making sure Sim Shimon can't succeed he doesn't just see that what he's doing is wrong he actually in his own mind convinces himself that what he's doing is a Mitzvah it's he fools himself into believing this and he fools others simple people or those who love a good fight and there's never a shortage of people in the Jewish Community The Spectators and the voyers who love a good fight they go to the community meeting because they're just hoping a good fight comes up they're hoping something controversial happens they could be in the no and in the mix the people love a good fight so what happens they thrive on this so when rubin's talking about Shimon either the simple people buy it yeah I guess he's right you know ruin is really supporting the community he needs to do well we've got to stop shimo we're just the people who like a good fight he attracts hold on one second he attracts the fight mongers and the gossip lovers and so what happens because of rubin's reaction to Shimon opening up because of his failure to employ what happens the community is introduced to fighting contentiousness animosity gossip lies hatred all of which shorten men's lives it's possible to find this negative scenario even in matters that are completely spiritual in certain situations and ambiguous cases you know I was just talking about I was about to I won't mention where there a place on Earth where there's uh two rabbis who are related who are fighting over the future of the Yeshiva and it came to such a head they were going to Splinter and broke up the Yeshiva one had to buy the other out for $5 million and people have to give staka and do you think that they said we're having a fight over money or ego or power of course not so the fight they presented to the world was we're having a debate of the philosophy of Shoulda serve this population Ser that population it's sh it's a Mitzvah our fight $5 million Mitzvah it's a very expensive sh fight so people can even fight in things that are what do you mean I've DAV for the all these years you can't take my place I always gave that she that VOR how could you give him my slot you could have contentiousness and fighting and jealousy I want to find the ELA right even in areas of spirituality because people convince themselves that it's not about ego and it's not about jealousy and it's not about power they convince themselves that it's about something which is holy but all the tools of destructive divisiveness appear in these two just like in other matters so what happens here Ruan Ruan says you know shimon's opening up he's threatening my parnasa all those years it was easy for Ru to say it was easy for rub to stay in sh long hours and to to lecture everybody else about but then the proof the rubber hit the road now shim's opening up up what what should ruin do if he's a m if Ru has the that he has been presenting all those years that he thinks Hashem is the one in his life he should accept it what's the conclusion help him even if's St opens the conclusion that he should reach is Hashem is the one who provides parnasa so there could be 100 Shimon on the Block they can't touch my parnasa if Hashem wants me to make a million dollars a year if there's a hundred stores like mine I'll make my million dollars a year if hasem thinks I can't make more than $30,000 this year there could be no other store doing what I'm doing and yet my store is going to flop Ruben should have concluded to himself I have to do my best you can't sit on the couch and say well if hasm wants me to make a million dollars it'll show up in a brown paper bag at the front door you have to do your as childless you have to take your initiative you have to do your work so a person should just be focused on how can I be the best that I can be how can I work the hardest how can I be the best I can be how can I do my part Hashem will do the rest once I do the best I can be run the best operation I can run the rest is up to Hashem if Ruan really had the you know what he would have done he would have gone across the street knocked on chim's door said welcome to the neighborhood how can I help you do you need a list of Distributors do you have any questions how to run the business well what can I do to help you because you know hasem runs the world there's enough for you to make parasa and me to make parasa I'm not threatened by your existence because you can't affect me only Hashem can affect me I do my best I work my hardest but only Hashem can affect me so all this is one example the K is giving of it's easy to have amuna in theory hasem he created the world hasem has has hasm like a parakeet hasem hasm has has hasm but then there is incidents in our lives where somebody's trying to hurt us where stores opening up in the same business as we're in where we have a tremendous disappointment where things didn't work out the way we wanted that's the moment proof do we reach in do we find the strength from yes Jessica so this explains why um people that are very religious if they get caught they might go to jail but would you say that this because it explains it that um now we understand like now we can understand why religious people who look religious on part whatever get in trouble with the law because if they're really religious why are we not just I don't know that this can expl CU to me there is no explanation other than they're being hypocrite fake fraud duplicitous people they're doing it for the M they think they're doing it first of all they convince themselves but we all do that you know I have to eat the cheesecake because I need the energy to stay up all night to learn so the cheesecake I have to eat it's good for me it's going to yeah but it's true no so we we all fail in that way to some extent right I give you the biggest example we repeat something which is clearly lashara by any standard and measure it violates the prohibition of lashara but we've convinced ourselves you know the person needs to know I'm sharing it because there's a reason is now if there's really a reason someone's about to go into business with somebody who's they shouldn't someone's about to go on a date with somebody they shouldn't if we really have an obligation to say something so in those circumstances is an obligation to say it but when by all measures there's no obligation when it's clearly gossip and lashara we convince ourselves nevertheless we have to say it we always convince ourselves we never say I'm doing something wrong and I'm going to do it anyway we we say in this circumstance we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt reconcile we justify our Behavior so the seemingly religious people who end up doing the terribly wrong things justify their behavior but they should know better I mean the bigger the violation the less you should be able to justify the more we should know that we're doing so the people who steal from the government or from their fellow man because they think they give more takaka they live a more righteous life but the ends don't justify the means and the that results is is the most egregious the only thing that atones for is death you can't do CH for it's it's a terrible terribly egregious thing yes but you're saying there should be no anxiety yeah that's we're going to get to the Kish is going to say that Kish says that anxiety anxiety is an expression of heresy in other words the only reason you're anxious is because you don't have that trust that's exactly what he's getting at is right so you have people they say and they go to the group and they say and they listen listen to lectures and they're on their WhatsApp group and and now something you know their child's not married they don't have the parnasa question what's going to be will the hotel have room for them for PES did they pack the right clothing you know everybody's got the right whatever everybody's got the things they're worried about and they're sitting there anxious their blood pressure spikes their hair's falling out because they're so nervous so anxious so worried what happened to all Thea talks what happened to all the what happened to all the be that's what the is saying is that is in Theory's in practice and means that in those moments to stop take a deep breath and say I'm not going to worry I can only do the best I can do beyond that it's up to Hashem and I trust that whatever happens is for my best that's the key of the I trust that whatever will result is up to AEM and if you stop short anywhere before and I trust that whatever happens is for my best is from Hashem then you don't really have you paid a lot of lip service to amuna you don't have so the K writes that stress anxiety worry though very Jewish characteristics are actually the antithesis of they are the Kryptonite of B they are a form of heresy because why do you worry let's let's dissect this for a moment why do we worry next week I got to do something what's going to be I I next week I'm supposed to supposed to fly somewhere and will the plane be on time and will it be late and what my see it what's going to happen so worried about flying I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm wor let's let's unpack that what do you mean I'm worried fear beyond what I can control right not not will I wake up on time and will I get there cuz even within that you can argue right the the B extremists like breast love that whole that whole they'll say that even the things that are up to you you should realize that're up to Hashem Hashem is the one who made you act that way okay that's a lot more complicated to me but the things that are beyond your control things that are beyond your control well the pilot have while and then fly the plane and what's going to happen with the landing gear come down well we get there what that you know what's going to be they run out of drinks and blue potato chips what's going to be so what weather the weather and will be delayed because of the weather right that's a great example what will the weather be and will the flight be delayed and therefore will I miss the thing I'm going in for I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I didn't sleep for 2 weeks before I was supposed to travel so that's absurd what do you worried what's you can't can't control that and what does that mean it means that you don't believe that whatever will happen is by Design is with intent comes from the rebon and you don't believe that whatever happens is what's meant to be you made it to the wedding you couldn't make it to the wedding there was a little turbulence there was no turbulence it was delayed it wasn't delayed it is what it is it is what it is the moment we stress out so when you get to the airport cuz you didn't check beforehand and you find out your flight's delayed now you're sitting in the airport endlessly you could either be stressed out anxious whatever you take a deep breath and you say this is what's meant to be I don't understand it but for whatever reason this is what was meant to be for me and it's up to Hashem and the moment you don't do that you know we have this in marriage we have this in parenting someone we love is saying I got it and the other person's driving you crazy stressed out you say do you not trust me I keep telling you that I got it and every time you're stressed out and you're stressing me out when I say I've got it I say you're offending me you're insulting me you're telling me you don't trust me I keep telling you I got it so why are you not trusting me by being so stressed out you're stressed out you're stressing me out you're stressing everybody out all you're doing is insulting me as if I'm I don't I don't have it and I'm telling you I got it just trust me I got it so God says trust me I got it stick with me is stick with me God says stick with me I got it and then we say yeah I got it I go to the amuna group I study all about how I'm sticking with God because he's got it he's got it he's got it and then the flight's delayed and Where's God we're busy freaking out and stressing out and telling everyone as if the world came crashing down texting is the worst thing that ever happened flight's delayed an hour and and hashem's like hello I told you I got it hello you're insulting me there's a reason I'm delaying you I told you I got it so that's that's what the saying yeah stress anxiety worry is the antithesis of then you you excel at atuna you're good at talking about God but to really trust him to lean on him the proof is in the pudding in the way you live your daily life so if we're supposed to do our our own part though then the stress might come in from making sure we're doing the right thing fine so I'm nervous I'm supposed to give a big talk in New York next week and I'm nervous well I prepare well how will it go even that again breast would say what are you stressing out it's up to K it's up to Hashem whether you're on you're off that day whether it comes out well or you stumbled on your words it's up to Hashem and to a certain degree it is once I'm fully prepared I did the best I could I put together a good talk I'm ready to go and now will I fumer will I stutter will I lose my words will I be exhausted will I fall off the stage well the paper full off that's up to Hashem what am I stressing out it's up to I can't control it but a little bit of stress is really so it's also from hashm is a good thing because I have a friend's an actress and she told I she always I just asked her did she get stage fight when she went out on stage and she said I do every single time if I didn't have it I wouldn't be able to bring the adrenaline that I need correct do the role I agree but first of all there she's stressed about herself not about God meaning she's she's and there I would describe cuz I share that same feeling it's more butterflies than it is stress it's a nervous energy cuz you're so excited to perform you want to you want to do it which is different than saying you know what if the bag falls on my head on stage what if I fall off the stage what if the lighting is wrong what if I trip and fall what that's going to I mean it happens to be aside from being a failure of B Aon fail aside from that aside from just that it's just foolish all you're doing is is you know you're going to get high blood pressure and heart disease and diabetes and shorten your lifespan what what you're not going to make the flight take off sooner you're not going to get the traffic to clear up earlier you're not going to make whatever you're stressed up about happen you're just going to make the experience of waiting worse so you might as well just relax and let go and enjoy the ride and realize it's up to Hashem but you're talking about relatively minor issues what about illness what about losing a child or you know a loved one being very very sick you know that's much much much harder th% it's much much much much harder and I think we can draw strength from the extraordinary people that we know who've gone through it and who tap into you know uh there was a young man F bound from Tink who passed away it's not just strength after his passing it's that he spoke this language throughout his illness and ordeal till the very end trying to encourage and strengthen others that it's all there's a reason what I'm going through and what will ultimately happen with me I have complet I'm ready to let go it's up to Hashem doesn't mean he didn't go for treatments doesn't mean he didn't try to heal but beyond that you're right so it's it's it's we can't demand that of others people going through those extraordinary circumstances have to find that strength themselves but but there's the capacity for it we have the ability do we not the Holocaust Survivors we know who live life with a moon talk on afterwards right it's it's unbelievable to go through what they went through who had every right to say everything's for the best what are you kidding me right my family was slaughtered I lost everybody I lost everything I was tortured and persecuted and you're going to tell me that everything that does is for the best your father used to walk around talking this is good to me we just spoke about like these Holocaust Survivors juditz Memoirs are coming out that I've been reading that are just when is it you know I can't every Holocaust Survivor and we're not judging those who didn't but everyone who did maintain not only their amuna because again it's one thing to maintain amuna there is a God Theory but who maintain the the daily living say it's up to hasem that they are the greatest pillar for us to lean on yes is it better to have um to be that parrot to be that par until you start feeling it inside or is it better to the office way work outside inside out it's a great question that's a great question it's a great question so the introduced us to a principle says it's a refrain of the which means after the actions the heart follows if you read all of these popular books today there's a book drive by Daniel pink there's a book about forming habits um they all come to the same conclusion as a that if you start behaving in a certain way you'll then become motivated for it don't wait to be motivated start doing it and then the motivation will come or there's a yish expression which is similar to which says with the eating comes the appetite right you wait to be hungry you wait to be I don't know what Jews have to wait to be hungry but you wait to be hungry you wait to be hungry you wait to be hungry you wait to be hungry you'll never eat start eating and all of a sudden you find right it is we just finished a three-day y I don't know I after the very first meal I swore I wasn't eating again for 3 weeks but the next meal came and okay I'll just nibble a little bit and the next thing you know you know you devoured seven courses and then you swore you're never eating again and the next meal came so means yeah it's better to be tripping away and hopefully our heart follows but it's a mindfulness in the end of the day it's an awareness it's it's having to remember I I I work on this constantly you're stuck in traffic you start losing your cool you're looking at the time you're late to whatever and then you just have to remember to stop and say okay I'm late like there's nothing I can do right now so why am I stressed out but you know maybe I should learn from it next time leave earlier go on ways so you know where the traffic was before you left you know if there's something for us to learn from it we should learn from it but if there's nothing we did wrong there was nothing we could have expected it's just the way it worked out you got to take that deep breath and say it's up to Hashem God I'm sticking with you it's for a reason you've got a plan and I'm sticking with you and if we say it enough and we're mindful enough about it hopefully our heart follows stop here do a little bit more very very I can't believe little yeah all right we're going to stop here all right everyone should have a Muna filled day and week oh I hate I'm going to miss this