Part 21: To Improve Interpersonal Relationships, Work on Your Relationship with Hashem

okay good morning everyone feel free to take some coffee it's great to see everyone again um if you've not signed up for the amuna WhatsApp group we've been posting a daily amuna reminder and for the most part been successful in moderating it to only have one post a day so if you're not signed up yet please feel free to join you can send me an email and we'll get you in the group and I want to thank ese Lupin for her help as the uh administrator I don't know what her official title is of hting the past couple thank you for hosting the last couple weeks okay today we're going to continue our study our daily or weekly dose of amuna just uh again these are not necessarily all tremendously novel ideas but they are there to keep us mindful amuna is a function of mindfulness like good eating and healthy living and positive relationships and every other aspect of life is not a function of having some major breakthrough with a novel idea but is more a function of mindfulness so to amuna with all of its um positive byproducts of happiness and relief and comfort Serenity all that comes about when one is mindful of amuna but what I want to do today and study with you is a chapter from shash and you might think what in the world does have to do with is the of the great May Kagan of Roden the great by the way who for a long time was certainly an iconic figure in the Jewish people um but was a somewhat mythical figure in the sense that we didn't necessarily relate to who he was but recently it was discovered in the archives video archives of uh some Jewish Historical Library video footage of the and you can watch online at there was AIA there was a gathering of rabbis where the is walking surrounded by some disciples and you actually can bring to life the it's an absolutely incredible thing so is guarding one's tongue based on the we say this morning to guard one's tongue what do you have to guard your tongue from not from peanut allergies and not from maybe you do but not from uh you know chocolate cake it's guarding a tongue not from what comes in your mouth but what comes out of your mouth the whole theme of shash is being Mindful and being careful and being vigilant in not speaking negative toxic language which is damaging which is hurtful not only to others but ultimately in the elaborates on this when we gossip when we slander when we CR ize or marginalize or condemn other people the the one who is hurt the most is ourselves we've lost our dignity we've lost our integrity when we use that gift of that power of speech in that way so you'll say power of speech being careful how you talk what does that to do with Amun it's like two separate those are two separate those are two separate WhatsApp groups we don't have a WhatsApp group like share the greatest Lush and Har we'll create a I remember when I was I was growing up there was an older guy in my Sho he said to me he said um I don't repeat Lush and Hara so listen carefully the first time so a WhatsApp group but Whata group so you think it's two separate WhatsApp groups there's one for amuna work on feeling Hashem in your life realizing hm is in control and another to work on not gossiping not slandering not being negative and we'll see in this piece brilliantly brilliantly weaves the two together and says thatal they truly depend on on one another remind me at the end because tonight's to share thought about just remind me in case I forget but let's go first through this sh okay he says the following that refraining or abstaining or being careful when it comes to negative language includes within it being careful about all types of language which is negative language or which is language which aggravates Agaves your friend those sound like they're all synonyms but they're all separate descriptions of the damage that we can inflict with our words right there's damage you can inflict with your words where you make something up that's not true about someone there's damage you can inflict with words where even if something is 1,000% true but you repeated it and it didn't need to be repeated there's the damage of M when there conflict when it's contentious when it didn't have to be bless you and it could have been resolved Clos there's cursing someone out wishing them poorly hoping for a negative result embarrassing someone we're not careful with what we say and we humiliate and we embarrass them intentionally unintentionally means that you're not allowed to cause pain to somebody with words so this week's para actually we have in financial business if I'm selling you something I can't sell it to you for more than its value there's a fair market value of the item I'm selling you if I overprice I violate it oh no I've caused you pain financially and the gar there elaborates is it a sixth over is it more than a sixth is it exactly a sixth and there's different rules depending how much the price is inflated and defining how price is inflated and fair market for everything is not a simple calculation either but there's o no when it comes to finances and there's o no when it comes to words for example you're not supposed to remind a convert or balua or someone you knew back when about who they were or what they did before they've made a significant change in their life why not what you're saying is true it's part of their life why are they embarrassed the answer is it's Ona you're causing someone pain with your words if you're insensitive to somebody who has suffered something so if you write something or say something which can make a particular demographic victims of abuse victims of rape victims of this uh converts if if you say things that are insensitive divorcees people with infertility that's not even necessarily intentional person could be sitting around a shabas table and they're talking all about their children and there's a couple there with no children they're talking all about their happy marriage and there's somebody there who's not married or doesn't have a happy marriage they're talking all about the great wealth and how they're killing it in business and what they can buy and the vacations they take it there's somebody there who doesn't know where tomorrow's food is coming that's on so the Begins by saying that our power words on the one hand can be so constructive it can create it can build it can achieve on the other hand it can be so destructive it can really hurt it can really cause pain it can really inflict a tremendous tremendous damage by the way in a certain sense Our Generation appreciates this more than any other because has the famous metaphor of the pillow right where the person spoke lashar came and asked how can I do chuva he took a pillow filled with feathers and popped the hole and hit the pillow and the feathers started going everywhere he said go collect all the feathers the GU said it's impossible so well it's the same thing with your Lush andara you put it out there and now it's spread you can't control it so if that was true in the little town of Roden Poland in the 1800s early 1900s K all the more it's true today you put something online right you put it email texting or you put it online you think you deleted that post it's part of the digital footprint forever forever so we have to be all the more Vigilant all the more careful in our power of speech and language whether with words or whether with uh with the keyboard and a person who wants to improve who wants to Merit achieving the level of being careful as they speak what totally counterintuitive if you want to be more Vigilant and careful on how you speak the answer is work on your work on your that's two WhatsApp groups what do you mean work on your what does one thing you have to do the other what causes what's the underlying cause of a lot of damage with words the underlying cause of why we speak that gossip that L why we embarrass that person why we do those things often the underlying cause is that we're harboring ill will resentment pain Judgment of that other person you know they're they're we don't like them we reject them we don't connect to them they hurt us um we're not impressed with them underlying much of a um a being not careful with words is a personal judgment Vendetta against someone else and and he says says whatever's happened in your life and whatever your thoughts and feelings if you trust in Hashem and you realize everyone's aim everyone's a creature of hasem and you realize that even whatever happened happened to you came to you because it was right for you that doesn't mean you don't hold the other person accountable for what they did right somebody Slanders or gossips and they've caused damages you're entitled to go after them for their damages you can hold them accountable but to speak lashara to take revenge to be angry that denies hashem's role in what just happened it means to say somebody embarrasses you somebody did something to hurt you right I I I give this example when I talk about this that many years ago many years ago Everything's Relative but many years ago somebody to this day I don't know who it is an anonymous person sent a letter around to much of the community about me not about me negatively about my salary right so my first reaction was I'm going to find out who that person is going to hire a private detective we're going to work we're going to figure out who this is check the typ print the font the postage they're going to track which mailbox they put it in we're going to find this person and break their legs you know whatever we're going to find this person and right around then was when I was really learning about am and I came across this incredible incredible statement of uh of the that if you really have a if you really believe in hem then you'll never want to take revenge because at the root of taking revenge is the is the notion that I didn't deserve this this wasn't coming to me this is not my best interest somebody else has harmed me I'm going to take them out the person who has a says to them you know what what whoever did that not very nice and whoever did that if I do discover who it is there should be consequences president of the should call them in there should be consequences but if I'm focused on that person I'm losing the connection I'm losing the what I needed to learn which is that if this wasn't somehow right to happen to me Hashem would have let it happen it would have been lost in the mail the person would have found the postage stamps then never would have gone through the trouble there would have been a million ways that that never would have happened if it wasn't meant to happen Hashem would have prevented from happening if it happened it was meant to be and if it was meant to be it's because somehow I needed to go through that it's a whole Paradigm Shift of how you live life and your interpersonal relationships therefore are unbelievably influenced by your relationship with Hashem in other words before learning this shash and before learning that insight about the prohibition of n of Revenge I would have said the two separate things I work on my relationship with God and I work on my interpersonal relationship and stop confusing the two God stay out of this this has to do with me and the person who sent the letter A person who sent the letter stay out of this this has to do with me and God my daving my amuna my and so on but really we have to realize that the two are intrinsically connected that my relationship with people will improve will be enriched will be enhanced based on my connection with Hashem and on the flip side if I'm damaged or hurt by people I have to realize that that too could not have happened if Hashem did not will it somehow I needed to endure that I needed to go through that I've learned from it do I hold the other person accountable absolutely I should hold the other person accountable right I don't say somebody stole my car I wake up in the morning come to the driveway my car is not there I don't say well clearly Hashem wanted me to not have a car I accepted Hashem whoever it is enjoy the car clearly Hashem didn't want me to have a car that'd be absurd I call the police and I try to find whoever stole my car but I also say to myself why did this happen if Hashem wanted to make bless you if Hashem wanted to make the thief go to the next house he would have gone to the next house why' he come to my house why' he take my car so the two are not mutually exclusive I'm able to hold the perpetrator accountable and at the same time realize that what happened to me didn't happen only because a person willed it it happen with the permission with the license of Theon Shalom of the almighty himself so level of faith in Hashem plays an enormous role and by the way how important is that we all know people who are consumed by Revenge somebody hurt them in life could be somebody hurt them in a huge way like they were a partner in business and they stole huge money it could be someone took the I sit in that chair I got there someone was in my chair I got to get revenge it's unforgivable whatever the magnitude of the hurt what happens when we be consumed by Revenge who loses out not the person who we're trying to get we lose out it's a burden we carry it weighs us down and makes us live with this negative toxic life if we want to live with Serenity and tranquility and happiness and a joy in life then it comes from say look I got to go to court someone stole my car I'm holding them accountable that doesn't take away for my joy cuz whatever reason hasem made me go through this I had to go to court I had to lose my car there was something for me to learn away for me to grow so this the answer to to Joy in life and to Serenity is and that's what is getting at here yeah but don't you think some of this has to do with the psychology like the makeup of a person you know what I'm saying absolutely we all are predisposed in different ways I would say even more than the makeup of a person it has to do with the family they were raised in if every night at the dinner table and every shabas at the shabas table they heard their parents talking about this neighbor and that person in ch and the business partner and the other guy in the and how terrible and mean and this one is in this one we gave them that gift for the bar mitzvah right people are Simas is like a great platform for vengeance right now I gave them a huge gift and they gave my kid this nothing I can't wait till the next sent I'm going to give them less than nothing you know that when one is consumed with that to hold that spreadsheet in your head you know I I was give this extreme example right we invited them over and I served meat they had us over they served chicken that's ridiculous I got to get venge we had them they never had I've had them 17 times they're only up to 14 times we're not having them again till they have us it's like who the one who suffers the most living that life of of spreadsheets and accountability and tit fortat and Vengeance Is You You Suffer who wants to live life that way listen if the person is not a real friend so you know the consequences understand that the Friendship is shallow and superficial and move on but when you're consumed with revenge and so you know I plac them in the front and they placed me near the orchestra like who who can for the how much we only have limited Ram in our head you only have limited memory in your head how much of it you want to keep you know want to load up on these on these other things so the core to interpersonal relationships and to Serenity happiness and life is to is to work on work on I I have a question yes say I'm just giving an example say you know that uh beforehand say B I'm going to use Bernie made off okay and you have a friend that's going to invest with him right are you allowed to call your friend oh yeah yeah 100% there's details we're not going to get into but when when is L suppos some calls me about a and says my daughter's being set up with this boy anything you can tell me and I know this boy would be horrific for the girl not only can I say I must say something so you know the whole book of sh is a thick book regulating speech when is itot somebody says oh I'm taking on a new business partner I'm investing a million dollars with this guy I think it's going to be great I know that this person has frauded 10 people I have to say something so of course are our situations let's let's keep going because he says a great example of so a person who hangs everything in their life on the hook of sh of you interpret everything going on in your life through Hashem so what happened you were in the middle of working on your computer and the internet went down and you're ready to kill Comcast cuz they are the worst company on Earth with the worst customer service that ever happened and you're freaking out cuz you needed to order that thing you're in the middle of booking your airline ticket you're in the middle of working on your weekly message and the internet went down so you can either be consumed with Comcast or you can say if Hashem didn't want the internet to go down at this moment it wouldn't have gone down clearly you take that deep breath you tap into your reservoir of and you can get on with life because being anxious and hating Comcast will not make the internet come back faster there's very little you can do to make Comcast get the internet to come back faster but one thing I know for sure is that being consumed with rage and anger and frustration and revenge is not going to make the internet come back faster let take a deep breath and so that's what the that just put your trust on HM for everything put your trust on HM when the internet's going to come back put your trust in hem about everything and your life will be much more Serene because when you get angry you end up saying the wrong things you end up saying self-destructive things if you hm to have your back and to be responsive so if you're consumed with Comcast hashm says okay you're busy fighting with Comcast I'm staying out of it but if you say to Hashem yeah Comcast is to blame and they're accountable and if I could switch to AT&T I would but meanwhile Hashem could you help the internet come back on I need it I'm in the middle of something oh you want my help you want my involvement here I am I'm happy to get involved K's involvement is proportional to whether we include him or whether we shut him out whether we see everything going on in our lives through the filter of Hashem or whether we say he's in that's when I is I make before is take from the but like Comcast that the internet what does that do with that's Comcast so all that depends on us just listen to the example he gives one more second what's this similar to you're having dinner with your children so you give a portion of dinner to each child right so I have meetings in Hollywood all the time and at times though it's foolish I come back with dozen donuts in the koser drunken Donuts in Hollywood so I come back and I give a donut to each child and what happens one never in our house but the neighbor's house so not across the street so one child one child grabs the Donut of the other child a second child so if the child whose donut was stolen from them comes to the parent and says Dad I asked my sibling to give me back my donut but they won't give it back now I know you don't want me to smack my sister I know you don't want me to call her a name hit her or start a fight I'm coming to you an injustice has occurred a horrific crime has happened my dut was taken I'm tempted to to take revenge or deal with it myself but I know that won't make you happy mom I know you'd be upset so I'm coming to you come and I'm saying intervene get my donut back I'll what does the parents say when that happens say hold on I'm on the phone with Comcast now what is the what is the what is the parents say to the kid you kiss that child on the KE and you say you know what you get two Donuts from the donuts that are left you say you have found such favor in my eye by the way you handled it that I'm going to give you a double portion you're right your sibling is wrong I got to put them timeout I got to take away the S I got to punish them they were wrong I'm so proud of you that you came to me instead of fighting with them I'm going to give you a double portion your foolish sibling can keep your portion so the next time I bring back Donuts you're getting two and they're not getting any they just got an advance on the donut the next time I bring back a dozen donuts you get two they don't get any but if the grieved victim child doesn't do this they go find a baseball bat in the house and smack their sibling and with the parent right there instead of involving the parent they just beat up their sibling the child spits the donut out from their mouth so right as parents we've all been there even though the truth is with the grieved child who do you throw in time out not the one who took the donut what you can't take a b you you were the victim until you just got the baseball bat you just became the perpetrator the and what does the parent now do he throws them both in timeout says I'm putting you both up for adoption I'm done with you I can't take this you should have come to me and I would have taken care of you but you didn't you tried to handle it on your own I'm done with both of you says what we expect and demand from our children is exactly what God wants from usem is the one who ultimately gives us our Lively our sustenance our health our children our we say he's our father we're his children as it says just wants us to get along stop fighting with each other my beloved children have I failed you in some way I'm asking you there's one thing I'm asking you children I pay your cell phone bill I give you a roof over your head I send you to summer camp I've taken you on Israel trips I give you shopping in the mall all I'm ask just get along with each other it's all I'm asking you right it's an exact everything we ask from we should have children and have healthy children to give usas what we ask from our children is all that asks exactly from us when one person is busy fighting you took my business you infringed on my customer you took my client unhealthy competition I'm going to badmouth you so what happens you think somebody agreeed you somebody stole from you somebody competed in an unfair way with you somebody stole your customers or your clients somebody you could either go after them or you could come to the father and say my sibling took my donut I could get a baseball bat and kill him but I'm coming to you I'm asking you to make up for that portion so doesn't just make up for the portion you want to give you want to find in's eyes just like we as parents give a give a kiss on the key of that child who came to us in a calm voice instead of escalating a fight so we instead of escalating fights even when they're just fights even when they're just fights but instead of escalating a fight we turn to the we say Aba tati Dad I've come to you intervene then he's so it's so beloved to Hashem that attitude the Comm on our part that he not only makes up what was taken but he gives above but if you don't do this even if you're right even if you do that it's so disappointing to Hashem in other words we all have the capacity to be M Alid we all have the capacity that even when we're right to be forgiving and flexible are we entitled to hold the other person accountable absolutely but even then sometimes just turn the other way it's not the Christian you have turned the other cheek but it means find the inner strength to be m alos just let it go let it go cuz when you carry it with you it gets heavier and heavier and a bigger and a b bigger burden and more and more consuming of your life and clouds more and more of your vision and your judgment find that capacity to be M alos there's an amazing story with's grandfather which I'm not going to tell now I've told it on y Kipper and Cron's been telling it since then and there's actually a videographer coming to do a professional video about this story but we have a a a unfathomable we have it that's what her Z teaches all of us we have have this unfathomable capacity for forgiveness if we only tap into it if we're you want to give has the greatest if you have right sometimes it happens a child comes to you and says you know my sister did this and this but instead of fighting with them I let it go oh do you want to give a hug to that kid oh do you want to give a reward to that kid with the father you want to come to the father and say boy did somebody hurt me but I want you to know Dad I let it go I know that would make make you happy I know that's what you would want for us to be able to get along the last paragraph you will see the kindness and goodness of hem right that child who was entitled to fight with the sibling but instead of fighting came to the parent you don't think the rest of that night and the rest of that day the rest of that week that child's going to feel the love and the affection of the parent they're going to feel it it'll be palpable the approval and the love and the affection of the parent who so appreciates that the child Let It Go and we too will feel that affection and that love and that presence of hem in our lives If we Just Let It Go as the P says this was my BB's favorite P she when she was sick and towards the end of her life passing away she would often recite this Tam you'd ask her how she's doing she'd say Tam taste and you will see how good Hashem is fortunate is the person who puts their faith in who puts their faith in him taste and you will see we went to the Coke Factory in Atlanta a couple summers ago as always I reserve the right to repeat whatever I'm saying in this group in a druss at some point we went to the Coke Factory at the end of the Coke factory they do this horrifically abusive thing to parents they give every child a cup and they put the children in this enormous room that has aund and whatever flavors of Coke with fountains and they say drink up whatever you want drink whatever you like whatever you you want your kid doesn't sleep for 3 months after that it's like it's a torture it's an absolute torture technique but anyway at the Coke factory we were touring the Coke factory and I'm not going to bore you with the origins of coke which I found fascinating Coke began as a syrup that you had to mix your own water it didn't begin as a soda and it was sold Ates there was a dispenser of the syrup Ates you'd buy it as you can imagine it didn't sell much so somebody had this Ein file someone had this great idea you know what let's give out free samples if we give out free samples they'll get hooked and they'll realize it's delicious they'll want more that's what made me when I remember when we did the the coke tour I thought take a free sample taste have a taste have a sample of what it feels like with Hashem and you'll want more taste and you will see that really hem is good and that therefore fortunate blessed lucky is the one who puts their fate in him you could look at the coke all day long but until you taste it you don't know what it is till you taste it you don't know what it is you're cooking you did the recipe you followed the instructions but you know you need to touch it to your tongue you need to taste it to make sure it's right till you taste it you don't really know you want to know what it's like to live with Hashem you got to taste it you got to taste it you can't be looking as an outsider you got to put it in your mouth you got to taste you can't really appreciate it till you taste you got to be an Insider to be to understand as an outsider you can be cynical and skeptical but to be an Insider to be you'll really take a taste and you'll really appreciate hm so that's what I wanted to study with you today is a very counterintuitive says you want to have better interpersonal relationships you want to get along better you want to let go of Revenge you want to stop calculating the spreadsheets with people it's all about it's very counterintuitive to link the two but said work on your you'll see your interpersonal relationships be enriched as well Denise you want to do a story about love yeah yeah I'm come to that one second thank you will there's a big difference between accepting that everything is from Hashem and accepting what Hashem is doing you know what I mean because the way this sounds it sounds like we we accept everything we all we know everything is from Hashem but that we accept it without without having a conversation we we we we're just I'm not sure I'm articulating no I understand exactly what you're saying I understand exactly what you're saying you can accept I can accept it's from Hashem but not be happy with the decision corre so what what's my recourse correct so let's come back to that another time because it's deserving of a fuller treatment but what I will say just for for the purpose of this discussion we've discussed a little bit in the past is Krish doesn't expect you to take it lying down we have precedent when hasm says I'm destroying Stone he says to aam how could I hide this from you you're my man want to let you know destroying that City over there a doesn't say okay listen you're the infinite one what do I know okay a says what are you talking about hm I'm protesting no way there got to be 50 there no way M says show me your face he doesn't say look you run the world I'm the closest human being I'm the closest any human being has or will ever be to you and therefore I'm ANM whatever you say Moshe doesn't say that he says I want to understand your ways why' that baby just die why is that person suffering why is that hurt going on I don't know why is that earthquake the Heen tsunami show me your ways mosha protests we have a rich tradition of protest the ra writes this when somebody is struggling right I've said this before when we have a child in the community who's with illness I always introduce the toim to say Hashem we've gathered to protest what you're doing we accept it and we will accept whatever the outcome but we are protesting because part of why Hashem sometimes does what he does is to elicit our protest is to create that con ction is to do a gut check are we okay do we accept or are we protesting cuz we're going to fight for justice and we're going to step up and do our part so recognizing it's from Hashem doesn't mean blindly accepting it we are allowed to be disappointed hurt angry I even think we've talked about this you know the Holocaust Survivor who spends the rest of their life angry at Hashem that's an expression of amuna you're only angry at someone who you think exists you're not angry at an imaginary thing you're only angry at someone who you expected more from you're not angry at someone that that you had no expectation of so there is to in some ways there is a profound amuna in protest when you protest what you're saying is you know let's say you didn't believe in Hashem and you thought that cancer is a function of Randomness it's chance gene mutation it's uh it's the it's the environment what's Hashem have to do with it so you're not going to protest to Hashem because there are statistics and somebody is a statistical uh recipient of cancer not going to protest to Hashem what are you doing when you're protesting to Hashem what you're imp conly saying when you protest to hasem is you're in control you're in charge you can change this what are you doing right you don't PR protest to somebody who's not in charge you protest to the person who can change the outcome so implicit in a protest to Hashem is a profound statement of amuna that I believe you can change the outcome so protesting Hashem is not antithetical to amuna it is an expression of amuna understanding it comes from Hashem doesn't mean okay from Fant that's Scientology we don't believe in Scientology we believe you go to the doctor and we believe you you know person gets an illness you kid get strip you don't say no antibiotic we're not going to the doctor that's what Scientologist say this is what God wants this is what God wants if he wants to heal you he'll heal you otherwise we're not doing it that's what Scientology believes we believe you go to the doctor you do your isus and one of the ways that we do our isus is to protest hasem so there's nothing wrong one should not feel guilty being angry one should not feel guilty protesting in many ways it is a profound expression of I wanted to end with thought I don't know if this overlaps with said last night but it might why do we observe there's many reasons given some are popular some are popular and wrong for example some say isite it's not asite one thing we know is it's not as yite it's brought down it's wrong it is brought down and they're wrong but it's a to S there's a mistake in in addition like that identifies that as the day of his death but it is the date that he left the cave after he was there hiding from the Romans learning with his son a lot to do with pay attention on sh the theme of our whole sh is cabala we have 13 or 14 classes on all different aspects of cabala and one of them I think is did really write the Z which you might be very surprised by the answer but um that's on sh so one is um it's not his but he did leave the cave and there are mystical connections between and the rash and it is someone else's here atsite tonight and tomorrow and that is the Rama m is um it is the day that the M began to fall it is a date that our Rebellion against the Romans there are me stop dying oh so the most famous reason is this one brought in is that the students of stopped dying let me ask you a question anyone know why they stopped dying because they stopped quarreling n was and they stopped dying cuz they were all dead yes but I thought there was no one left to die there was no one they didn't stop dying because God's Mercy came and therefore the rest of them survived they stopped dying cuz there was no one left to die is it not a bizarre observance to create tonight we're going to have a bonfire with music and a party and a celebration meon and Israel is going to be incredible going to be crazy big party who makes a party because there was no one left to die so the death stopped that's absurd that's absurd so we were all taught as kids that L Balmer corresponds with the fact that be students sto dying it's absurd first of all it' be absur even if there were more students because okay the plague ended they were liberated from the concentration camps let's make a party you don't make a party it's a very somber reality you're grateful that that time came you don't start playing music and make a party so it's bizarre so the and others explain that LBA Omar is not about the students stopping to die LBA Omar is all about what Raba did next gar tells us that Rea just picture Rea for a moment Rea who only first started learning at 40 years old his incredible wife Rael we actually visited her grave in Israel a couple summers ago but his incredible wife encouraged him even though it meant forfeiting the great inheritance of her gazillionaire father but Reika started learning at 40 at 40 and he became a big and he amassed an incredible amount of students 24,000 students and you know what happened to those students he had to go to 24,000 funerals he had to deliver 24,000 eulogies he paid 24,000 Shiva calls that's insane if that happened to me you know what I would do IID hang him up and I'd say I'm going to go learn in the corner by myself I'm done I'm done teaching I'm done spreading the word I'm done I'm just this was not meant to be I'm I might be done with Torah altogether but if I'm still into Torah I'm going to go back to the corner and Learn by myself I'm done that's not what Rika did he came back from the last sh call of the last student he had and you know what the next thing he did is he found five more students some say seven he found five more students with the gamar identifies as the rabbis of the South and he sat down and he started all over again and he started teaching these five students and these five students are the ambassadors it's only through them that we have the transmission of Torah we would not have tor shab we wouldn't have the gamar we wouldn't have Judaism the way we know it if not for rea's resiliency and tenacity to start again with these new students and through them Rasha Weiss points out that if you notice if you go through sh you'll see that these five students so many of their statements have to do it the way we treat one another and the respect we have for one another clearly what AA not his failure but what had failed to be communicated to the first group of students clearly was understood by the second group and five students succeeded Ed in doing what 24,000 did and that is continuity in the transmission of of Torah it's not a coincidence that it's who teaches because he saw that when you have the rest of the Torah you attend 24,000 funerals is the it is the core principle of all Torah that everything's built up but what I want to bring out from this for our talk is that what a thata had to go to 24,000 funerals and deliver 24 ,000 eulogies and pay 24,000 Shiva calls and have the faith and have the amuna to start again that can only happen when you have unbelievable amuna that there's a plan that there's a reason and and and that you have a purpose and that you have a calling and that you need to start again so LBA is a day of a lot of things I wrote an article on H once about LBA being a day of gratitude I'm going to put it on the WhatsApp group later at LBA om on the one hand is a day of gratitude but on the other hand LBA is a day of unbelievable amuna that even when something failed even when it didn't go your way even when it didn't go as planned the ability to start again to start a new to have a fresh start to have auna that you can yet achieve what you had dreamt of doing Raba did it and we can do but Amun is pervasive in the in the whole theme of L because had have am in Cave that would provide him what he needed he was had nothing and the has to wait every day for the month to come would provide for that that's why you're the rent that theme is really exactly right in other words if you want to look what's the common theme of all of these things it's the notion of of am beautiful thank you