(Part 149): Fly Above the Turbulence

good morning everyone it's great to see you again for our weekly learning of living with amuna our weekly support group of living with amuna reminding ourselves of hashem's role in our lives that nothing that happens is random or chance but it's by Design and from above it is what's best for us even when it doesn't feel that way and the serenity the peace that can provide it doesn't mean that we don't have things that we have battle that we have to battle and fight it means we have things that we have to get through but while we're doing it we do so with the confidence and the calmness of knowing it's the way it was meant to be I want to thank profusely we have many sponsors this morning Dr zi and Bella Morgan who sponsored the series for the entire year in memory of our dear friend Brian gabu nasan we're very grateful to the Morgans thank you so so much also this class is sponsored by Sal Leslie Abid in honor of their children Joey and Marissa and their expected baby should be healthy and give them a lot a lot of Nas please God for many many years to come also I want to thank Caroline and Daniel Kats who sponsored this morning's amuna sheir Rua for Caroline's amazing mom Irene Kat yud bat Sophia should have a Rua quick speedy and complete recovery please God displaying her wonderful amuna and also a thank you to Ellie Walden sponsored mother's yehud have alah thank you all of our generous sponsors our learning of amuna and I have to say much more significant than our learning of amuna is our living with amuna please God the lessons that we'll draw the lessons that we learn and take with us and the amuna please God that will practice should be in the Merit and the memory of all those for whom this morning is sponsored We are continuing our study of the beautiful essay by R Schwarz Schwarz the author of The that again we've been developing the stee now for several months the idea that there's an internal self and external self the idea that on the outside we battle from we wake up till we fall asleep at night we're battling to wake up we're battling what to say what to wear where to go how to be how what to eat we're battling battling battling battling to earn a living battling to stay healthy battling to have relationships that are meaningful and functional and wonderful we're battling from when we wake up until we fall asleep however internally if we're living with him if we're tapping into and touching theim The Godly spark the best version of ourselves then we know that everything that happens is happening the way it was meant to happen and it brings out the best excuse me the best of us we left off last time with uh this beautiful analysis of an amazing the gamar talks about a great Rabbi who runs into one of his disciples one of his students and sees that that student is afraid is filled with anxiety worry and fear of what will be of what's not in his control and he turns to that student he says to that student I see that you have ha I see that you've made mistakes again not sin but mistakes and we asked what does that mean isn't it natural and normal you're living in a crazy time for people to be worried afraid fearful unsure uncertain to be to ascribe blame such a person's living with and we developed the notion Schwarz developed the notion that what it means is when we make a mistake we've opened the door we've created a Mal of we've created an angel of Destruction I'm not going to go through the whole example again I actually got phone calls from people who told me that Trader Joe's corn chips are their Kryptonite too I felt very validated um wonderful to hear actually the person called me to tell me that because of my kryptonite they tasted the Trader Joe's corn chips and in fact taka they are delicious so I get a commission now from Trader Joe's not but anyway so what happens so when you have no temptation when you realize that you're not going to put that PO poison in your body when You' never eat something that has no nutritional benefit or value you're in a great place there's no worry you're in the zone then the first time you give in late at night eat a couple corn chips next thing you know you finish all bed you have a you made a mistake you've created a Mal of what happened because the next day the scale didn't explode the scale didn't break it didn't blow up end up saying to yourself clearly it's not so bad clearly it's not such as a disaster it's not so terrible you've created a Mal ofala that you now to contend with and that you now have to overcome so the very mistakes that we make the battles we lose become the new enemy that we Face trying to convince us that we're unworthy we're incapable we're incompetent trying to convince us that there's no point we're not going to win anyway so the person who walks around and says how am I going to win the battle how am I going to overcome and Triumph how will I make it out on the other side how will I come out okay such a person obviously has made a mistake that they now need to contend with but the person the more that we can remain pure the more that we can remain holy the more we can remain above the mistakes then the less feeling we'll have of confronting enemies and battling from without that was what we talked about all we talked about last side so we pick up here it's very important says R Schwarz to go back and to clarify to emphasize we've been talking about constantly for weeks for months now we've been talking about the fact that there are two perspectives we bring to life think about it's 8:50 a.m. this morning so far what did we battle with the Sun the heat the humidity doing battled with getting out of bed having gone to sleep so late at night so exhausted not even a good rest restful sleep battled with eating the wrong things for breakfast that would be unhealthy battled with my computer deciding it had to download all of his updates exactly when I supposed to teach and becoming inaccessible to be broadcast the the total lessons I wanted to share battle battle battle battle battle battle it's 8:45 in the morning and I'm already exhausted there's the external existence the external self the external fights and battles that we go through as a natural literally a natural part of every single day so there's the external I've made mistakes I've given birth to to angels of Destruction I said the wrong thing looked at the wrong thing ate the wrong thing went the wrong place let my mind wander during DAV I've made mistakes and those mistakes breed those mistakes give birth birth to the fear of future mistakes that's the external self but we also have he's emphasized this a few times and therefore so do we one should not think that what we're saying is that the external sense of self is not true it's fake it's counterfeit isn't real these are real battles your computer not cooperating is a battle it's frustrating technology is the greatest gift and the greatest curse when it all works out well is nothing better and when you have a virus or it shuts down or it locks up or you have a problem with it it's there's the bane of your existence these battles are very very real they're frustrating they're disappointing they're difficult these external battles are very very real battles they're not she they're not counterfeit verem so don't think really I'm supposed to say oh I'm so happy my computer froze and I wasn't able to teach I'm so happy that I gave in and ate those corn chips I'm so happy that this didn't work out or the other thing didn't work out no that's sheer that's the lie it's true these external battles are very very real they're both real they're both true simultaneously this is actually what I'm going to write my article about please God for this week I have to get to today I see the great Barbara Frankle is on Barbara with the permission of your husband I hope you went with him I'm going to share the story of your 50 50th wedding anniversary which is impossible cuz you're only 30 years old but your 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago and uh a very powerful story there are people with disappointments all around I'm pleased God speaking at a small wedding next week and the kala said to me she said respectfully she said Rabbi do me a favor I said what she said please don't say how perfect Co is or how wonderful or how much this is meant to be because it stinks and I said I would never say that I appreciate her concern that I would I would never have said that but she's 100% right externally you can say I'm really disappointed this is not the way I wanted it this is my letter to graduates graduates are graduating and this isn't the graduation that they worked so hard to achieve be it e8th grade or four years of high school college graduate school they didn't work this hard to have this kind of muted graduation this compromised graduation so whether it's the Simka the graduation or my mother-in-law who right now is sitting shiva but only in her driveway space a few people Zoom who thought that she would honor her mother's memory in such a a compromised fashion that that is those battles of having to accept the battles of having to cooperate with disappointing versions of the way life is being led right now they're very real and if you say to that kala or you say to that oo or you say to that graduate no you should listen to my Amun here that's the way it's meant to be this is perfect it's fantastic it's excited You Should Be Dancing the kazka this is amazing they look at you like you're crazy and you are crazy these are very real battles it's not sheer it's not false or counterfeit to say that it's disappointing it's frustrating and it's difficult it's also not inaccurate it's also not a lie to say that it is all from Hashem it's the way it's meant to be and this isn't the end of the story you'll hear the Frankle story that even when the wedding isn't the way you wanted even if it takes 50 years later you can have an event that is really can't replace but is is like a wedding so it's they're both true simultaneously you can have two truths you can have two truths our country is forgetting that most people are forgetting that there's a notion of nuance and simultaneous truths you can hold two truths simultaneously even when they see they're competing you're able to hold two truths simultaneously they're not mutually exclusive be IT issues of the day and be it on the issue of amuna so we shouldn't be dismissive or callous or marginalized or make the person who's disappointed frustrated or hurt feel bad for feeling that way it's a very real battle that they're battling that they're facing that they're facing on the other hand it's also true that the pous that the best version of themselves is able to simultaneously say I'm disappointed but I accept it I'm disappointed but I submit to Hashem I'm disappointed but I also am not going to lose my calm and my cool give up my peace and my serenity because I do accept that it comes from above these are two truths simultaneously one is external and the other is internal and this is not a new insight this is an Insight that is part of the very fabric of our tradition listen to this beautiful [Music] idea the great yov our great patriarch yov had two names he had two names is two names Yakov got the name Yakov because he shared a womb with his twin brother who emerged first and yob was grabbing onto his foot to his heel and he gains the name is is a name for he battled with God and with men and he triumphed V he walked away as an aside parenthetically It's A peculiar name to give Yakov you should give him the name V we should be B why are WEA means you battled means you won wouldn't want to name his progyny wouldn't you want to name his people and his Nation you won why are we named in perpetuity after the fact that he battled which is a lesson into itself by salich says if you look carefully at that section what do Yakov and the angel battle about what are they fighting about are they fighting about gun control abortion race relations economy taxation peace plan had how to open up covid rephasing re-entry what were they fighting about most people fight most Nations fight about about money people fight about women people fight about power people fight about stature what were they fighting about the Torah is ambiguous it never tells us and salich says it's by Design because what was not important was what they were fighting about what was important is that yakob was battling he didn't give up he was trying to overcome he was aspiring he was reaching he was stretching he was trying to grow and that's why we're not named V that we won we're named is we are a people that never give up and never give in we don't forfeit or concede the battle you ate the corn ships one night since then I haven't gone back you can you can stay part of the battle and you can win of Schwarz unlike a whose name was also changed a is introduced to us without the hay he's a and then hasem changes his name and gives him a hay he throws in a hay for free can I have a hay and Hashem says yes gives him the he goes from a to abam and Theos tells us that once his name was changed we are forbidden for referring to him by the previous name his name changed his identity changed and he became a new person so became for ever he doesn't maintain both names simultaneously he only now has one name it's aaham it's the plants it replaces the name earlier over you violate a Prohibition when it comes to our great patriarch it's not true even after yacob's name is changed nevertheless it doesn't supplant it doesn't replace now he has two names oo two names Yakov and isra I don't know which one he wrote when he took the SATs but Yakov and Isel now he has two names a became Abraham it changed all together he had no hesitation what name to put in his SAT form but Yakov had a hesitation because Yakov now has two names simultaneously he's both yov and is what's going on the very deep profound beautiful reason even after Yakov achieves this higher more elevated exalted level even after Yakov Taps into a piece of himself that he realizes his ability to be what does it mean that he was yov and is simultaneously it means the external self and the internal self the external battling the holding on to the heel the external that would have to still fight and confront an asov that would still have attempts to exterminate and eliminate that would still have voices of inadequacy and insecurity that's a Yakov the Isel is the best version of himself it's himself it's when he's running on all cylinders it's when he realizes I'm a tellim I'm God I'm a piece of God in Me there's a Harmony to the universe and everything that happens happens the way it's meant to be and I'm never afraid and I'm never worried and I'm never anxious and I'm never disappointed I'm never upset I'm able to Simply accept and go with the flow and with the punches and I'm able to experience a a calm and a peace there's a and it reflects the the P the external the internal and we both we both have yov and we both have a sense of a as well we have both in usave yov is the name heal the bottom of your foot these are the mitz rash the beginning of tell it's called if you listen to all these says it means the that you stomp on with your feet small insignificant Mina who cares who cares what order I tie my shoes who cares if I said the who cares if I was so careful about the the label of the food who cares who cares who cares who cares Hashem cares it makes a difference to him and we should care so the word AEV Yakov comes from the heel the bottom of the foot what we walk with what first hits the ground what we step on there's the piece of when yob is going to reunite with as he's very worried he turns to hasem he's very worried and we wonder the great yakob is worried I don't understand yob the is yov the yov the yov was the Perfection of the Patriarchs the best of those who come before him yov who's sat on the lap and learned from his father Y and his grandfather AB who learned from his mother Rifka and his mother s this yov is worried when he's about to reunite with as where's his the answer is it wasn't is that was worried it was yakob that was worried the Yakov in US worries and is fearful and say I made a mistake before and maybe that gave birth to a Malala maybe that created an angel of Destruction Maybe by previous mistake and error will enable more and that I have to worry about the Yakov in him was worried about that reunion however however he was at the same time still is he fought with the angel of as and he won what's the I already lost know I can win I can silence that voice of inadequacy of insecurity I can silence that voice of fear of worry of uncertainty I can silence that voice of what will be I've been there before been there done that and I came out the other side and Hashem had a plan and it worked out and it was the way it was meant to be there was a tomorrow there was a 50th Anniversary it was able to happen now it doesn't work that way for everybody person's waiting for a test to die diagnosis whether a treatment has worked and it doesn't always work out well it doesn't always work out well sometimes there's a tragic end but that too is by Design and the way it was meant to be then too were able to tap into the isal in US somehow to find the isal in us there are Extraordinary People In Our Lifetime experienced lost I'm talking about victims of Terror whose family were were murdered brutally by terrorists I'm talking about survivors of the Holocaust I'm talking about people who a fire um caused the loss of their whole family who also not only had the Yakov in them but they were able to tap into that is and they were able to say this was painful and difficult and I so badly wishu it weren't but yet I believe in Hashem I believe this wasn't random I believe somehow somehow this is the way it was meant to be so Yakov his name is changed but he retains the name Yakov because there are both parts within himself and within ourselves there's the piece of us that's worried a loved one is in the hospital and sick we're worried about our parnasa how are we on a living and pay the bills we're worried about whether we made the right decision to DAV and endur even with the Most Extreme Caution care and and guidelines we're worried worried worried there's the Yakov in US I've made mistakes in the past maybe my mistakes in the present will negatively influence my future but then we have to tap into the is we have to take a pause and take a deep breath I always say it's not my insight how do you return we can learn actually because he has a whole essay of Schwarz the B has a whole essay about breathing you'd say there's a Torah of breathing there's a Torah of breathing the Torah of deep breaths the Torah of breathing it's not just the yogis and the uh people who do yoga and the uh mindfulness gurus they took it from us they took it from us the same word nishima andish nishima means breath Nish is your soul when you take a deep nishima when you take a deep breath you restore your soul feel free to do it right now with me in through the nose out through the mouth a deep deep breath you literally restore your soul you calm feel every muscle in your body loosen up untense relax let go of the Yakov and make contact with the is let go of being so anxious and worried and tense of breathing so shallowly of blood pressure so raised take that deep breath let go and let God relax your muscles and say you know what my loved one is sick I'm worried about my pessa are we making the right decisions with guidelines what will be with Corona how do we improve race issues in this country whatever the thing is that's plaguing us all legitimate things to worry about and to work on to fix whatever it is take the deep breath restore your soul the way this why is nishima Nish the same word because how did we get our soul to begin with the way that we received our soul to begin with God took some mud some Earth he fashioned man and he breathed life into him describes cabalistic like a glass blower the glass blower takes a deep breath in and then inflates the glass with its own breath so that glass is really an extension it's really a creation of the artist to blew the glass K was that glass blower he took a deep breath inside himself so to say and he breathed life into us and therefore when we became living animated breathing beings we carried that's how we got theim inside us it's his very breath so we return to theim in us we return to the is in us through the way we received it to begin with we return to the througha we take a deep deep breath don't read a don't read it every with every soul but call with every breath I see you God and I praise you with every time my lungs are working with every breath I'm able to take with every uh extension I'm able to live I feel your presence so when your muscles are tightening and your blood pressure is rising and you're worried about what will be and you're anxious when the Yakov in you is screaming the way to silence him is to take a deep breath to be calm to let go of all your muscles I did yoga for a little bit while for a little while my favorite part of it I had menitis several years ago I was in the hospital for eight days I couldn't get rid of the headaches nothing even uh the strongest drugs so then I did acupuncture and yoga and I got rid of the headaches and to this day it was because of the acupuncture in yoga maybe maybe they were going to be gone anyway maybe it was psychosomatic or maybe they worked I'm very open the possibility they worked they were wonderful but if you've ever done yoga you know what the best part of yoga is I don't remember the formal technical name it's when you lie on the ground afterwards completely still anyone here ever do yoga yoga and you're supposed to picture that your ice melting into water and they say relax your eyebrows and relax your cheek muscles and relax your shoulders and you relax everything from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet and usually 2 minutes in I was fast asleep to the great frustration of my yoga teacher but your ice melting into water it was the best part of the yo it was worth doing the Whole Yoga just to be able to get to ice turning into water melting into water relax every muscle in your body at the beginning of yoga you're tense you're worried you're anxious you're Yakov by the end you're a puddle of Israel you're just a relaxed sleeping sense oh oh corpse pose thank you our our fact Checker is is in living with amuna today the corpse pose your ice melting into water and you become you become is you take those deep breaths breathing is all about yoga it's all about relaxing stretching the muscle while you breathe into it while you take deep breaths into it anyway it sounds so new age today so Neo I hope you'll come back next week so there's a Yakov and is there's two parts to each and every one of us we both have that within ourselves and the question is which one we're going to express and realize and they're both true is Yakov a lie no God didn't change his name to Israel and end up purging the name Yakov it was still on his birth certificate yakov's driver's like said both yob and is Abraham his driver's license had to change he had to re-register his name his marriage certificate his birth certificate it went from a to abam but yov has on his driver's license both yov and is because we all have both of those within ourselves we are both Yakov and isra we are the piece that is Yakov that's worried that's uncertain that's concerned and we have the priest that's is that's able to have calmness and confidence it's able to believe that we will get through that there is a rhyme and reason that it makes sense is the external is the internal we could remain in the status of Yakov and then we are confronting battling and fighting our Alter Ego our whole lives and here the or ego is the ego of panic of fear of uncertainty of anxiety the battles those who can rise up we can Elevate ourselves we can realize being a then we are pure from sin from mistakes we are we defeat that voice inside ourselves we have learned to live life that doesn't get frustrated at the red light or the delayed flight or the people around us not cooperating or the children who been tuck in their chair or left their toys in the middle of the floor that dinner wasn't made the time that we wanted or needed it to thought we needed it to be made or that the dry cleaning wasn't picked up or God forbid that we got bad news about a loved one or God forbid that we realize we were fured or laid off the is in US knows go ahead go for it bring it on whatever you're going to throw my waya I've battled V and I've triumphed the says a battle I'm exhausted I don't know if I have what it takes the says this harmony to the universe this order this meaning this purpose to this worldon is an Almighty and he loves me and he has my back and he's orchestrating it all and somehow it's all for a reason there is no battle there is no confrontation I always tell you about our family's WhatsApp umh group and uh one of my daughters posted in it yesterday she had ordered shoes online and they came a while ago but they were sent the wrong size and so she looked at them and they'd been sitting in her room they were the wrong size she was frustrated disappointed it was annoying she have to return it um get the new size anyway but she put the shoe on to try it just before she sent it back and it turned out the wrong size for this particular model fit her perfectly if they would have sent her the size she requested it wouldn't have fit her they sented the wrong size and it wasn't by accident and so even though her first reaction when she opened the package was to see the size and say oh can't they get anything right and they sent me the wrong one and so annoying and now I got to return it I got to send it back and I got to order the right one at first we think karisa un battling this in the scope of things is a very minor battle unless you have to pay the credit card bill but it's a very minor battle in the scope of things in the scheme of things but you begin by feeling un battling and you end by saying wow V Hashem had a master plan so again means the next time that you get the wrong size shoe don't jump to lose your cool it could be it's going to be the wrong size and it could be you're going to have to make your way to return it and order the new one it could be it could be it doesn't always work out with the happy ending that it does when it goes on the hasus group for the good sometimes it's for the bed would you believe I got the wrong size shoe maybe I'm not meant to have it to wear it maybe I wasn't meant to have it now and now I have to go through the pain of whatever it's going to take that's also that's also V that's also part of hashem's Master and divine will that's also part of his Providence that's also part of his part of his design let's just finish this section God made us straight he made us honest with Integrity he made everything clear since introduced to the world the notion of the mistake of negligence the motion the notion of dismissing hm's will so before the we talked about going back to the Garden a few weeks ago that was the title of our she of living with amuna of trying to get back in the garden together life in the garden was perfect before Adam made this before he invented this Mal before he fell short life was fairly straight forward you did what you had to do and it was all provided for you and you saw Hashem everywhere but once he made that mistake he introduced the yov the image of yobu which is paralleled or formed from the image ofish is engraved on the on the Divine Chariot in the sky because that's how we repair we repair for the first mistake made by having to live with the in us the name includes the word we're trying to get back to a place of yashar in Israel Yash yashar what are directions doesn't matter where you're going the answer is yashar yashar we are meant to be to just be straight don't make if you this then you that I want it this way and keep it straight keep it simple on the one hand we're wrestling we're battling and we get injured like yob did in his hip and his sciatic nerve on the other is our main name is is is we're not is because true we all have the yov in us but the best version of ourselves is the is so therefore we are in perpetuity not called Bob but we are B is I'll just end with a metaphor that just came to me you ever fly remember when we used to go on an airplane mam again soon so when you fly you ever remember that the plane hits some turbulence and what does the captain do Captain says uh excuse me this is your captain speaking up here I'm coming from the cockpit and I want to let you know we've hit some turbulence and I'm going to take us up to 35,000 ft because I can see on the radar that at 35,000 ft there's no turbulence so we're going to go up above the cloud and the bad weather because by rising up above it we're going to be able to transcend the turbulence so you can fly you can travel through life you can fly in the area that there's turbulence or you could rise above it and you can get above the turbulence where it's clear flying that's yakob versus Israel a Yakov life is a turbulent life a Yakov life is a tur it's battling it's fighting it's struggling isra life is flying above the clouds above the inclement weather it's being able to rise above it so to achieve and reach the is in all of us if you're watching on YouTube live please subscribe even if you're not please subscribe tonight behind the Bea 9:00 p.m. you can listened to previous episodes on podcast players everywhere got an email today that we're getting ranked on Jewish topics in uh in apple podcast we're climbing the lad tonight's guest Aaron Cutler the CEO of B medish gav the Lakewood yiva a fascinating discussion we're goingon to have 900m be sure to join us behind the Bea you can find all the old episodes and watch live follow live 9:00 P p.m. tonight have a fantastic day