Part 119: The Antidote to Arrogance and Ego

good morning please help yourself to some coffee want to thank our sponsors for the amuna series for the year with tremendous gratitude to doors Ai and Bella Morgan who sponsored leas Rabbi Dr Brian galit who lived a life filled with Tora and we're making our way through r r amazing safer that we're only really alive when we're living with amuna that a person who's living in the dark and the Dark Ages and a person who's living in their ego and their arrogance and a person who's living in the illusion that they are in charge and they are in control of the world such a person is dead even while they are alive and a person who had auna who had Faith they continue to live even after they are gone all that's just in the name of the so we are continuing developing on the theme that we began several weeks ago a tradition from we are made up of four different elements fire wind water and Earth and each of these elements within us drive different attributes personality traits character behaviors and that the way to grow as people to be become the best version of ourselves is not to try to work on the charact not to work on the expression of those issues um the symptoms but rather to heal the illness at its core and we've been making our way through this peric dealing with dealing with the attribute of fire the notion of of fire the the fire in our belly if directed properly gives us enthusiasm and energy and the drive to make a difference to change the world and driven in uh correctly or inappropriately that fire uh within us promotes a sense of arrogance and a sense of ego we talked about stealing the badge and the uniform from God pretending to be the authority even when we're not you could be dressed in the costume imitating and being an impostor it doesn't make you it doesn't make you in charge and what happened told us when you have this fire that's misdirected within you the fire is not channeled to do good but the fire is channeled to it consumes your ego it's all about you your way the highway the way you see the world there's no room for others there's no space for a different opinion or a different way of life or a different belief system everything has to be your way then that fire drives you to make poor decisions and to damage relationships and to uh to put yourself in a superior judgmental way against others and when among the alienated relationships that you have in your life are not only the people around you but the almighty Hashem himself Hashem himself we have to uh we have to make space for God if you don't make space for God God says I'll go elsewhere I'll find another place so what is the exercise that we do daily in order to make room and space for him how do we remind ourselves each and every day that he's in charge we work for him he doesn't work for us it's his version and view of the world that matter not our finite view of the way so told us based on a tradition of the altar of K doing doing is an exercise in humility when you come before God each and every day and you say you provide health and you provide um Nas and you provide uh parasa and you provide Justice and you Pro asking Hashem for each of those things reminds us that they Depend and rely on him as much as we think we're in control or we're in charge or we take pride in what we've accomplished d is an exercise in remembering that in fact he is in charge we concede and we submit to him I'll tell you just as an aside salich had an amazing Insight with this that's why he insisted that the when we D we often offer a we have in mind those who are sick those who are ill in general around the world but you can't dve in for every sick person you'd never get to work so we D in with the people that that we know that's our responsibility the people that we know who are ill we DAV for them so in that m we we list the person's name we identify the person for whom we're doing but among all those who are ill we can't D for them in isolation we have to D for them in the context of community which is by the way why we're allowed to say the M because in chabas you're not allowed to offer personal prayers so by making it among all those who are ill it's not a personal prayer it's a public prayer public prayers are allowed on chabas so we di for the person and we say so most God heal them why because we're ding for them here we are interrupting our day being thoughtful and kind thinking about people who need our attention and help so God because we're interrupting our day and we're thoughtful enough to think of them you think of them too heal them heal them because we're ding said that's that's heretical you can't read such a it has to be we're going to give staka on their behalf what's the difference what's the difference I didn't get to this last night I spoke last night in Atlanta about we are the biggest recipients of the staka that we give it was all about um you could listen online and it'll be in the newsletter tomorrow morning but it was all about why in the formula of things that we do this time of year to try to advocate for ourselves we say to the almighty sign and seal me for a good year you know would you mind giving me a good year like a no news is good news kind of year just just even killed just everyone healthy same head count in my home the end of the year as the beginning of the year my bank account with enough to be able to pay my bills just we ask Hashem please give me a good year so among the things that we're called upon to do are chuva think of un to the most stirring moving part of our daving or at least because of the tune we use and the imagery it has M who will live and who will die who will conceive and have a child and who will continue to struggle the imagery of Anan toov makes it so moving and it culminates with the first the all of us scream and the repeats I'll spare you singing it this three-fold formula so I understand chuva is I've transformed myself I'm not the same person I was so therefore I'm deserving of a new decree I understand how that works I understand how it works I'm not the same person when I leave I shouldn't be the same person who came into daving when I came into daving I was arrogant and egotistical I thought I was in charge and I was in control and I walked out of daving I remembered that I work for you you don't work for me Chila also but how does Stu a work what am I bribing God we just had this whole College admission Scandal and we all look at it we all look at it incredulously and we say indignantly and we say where's the justice what kind of Ethics where's the morality of somebody who pays their way in oh by the way way God can I pay my way into a good year next year if you just write a big check if it has enough zeros if you give sta then you get a good year all of a sudden God is bribable we're buying him off I understand Chua and I understand Fila why are we giving takaka why are we giving TOA so I'm not going to talk about it now I talked about it last night for an hour for 50 minutes you can listen to it online um the core I gave three perspectives or three answers to that question but what all three have in common is that our attitude towards our money and we are stewards on money it's not ours it belongs to God he has entrusted us we are the trustee to make sure it gets to the right address and does the right things and makes the right impact and the attitude we have towards the towards our money says everything about us are we argant or are we humble are we Noble or are we self-centered are our priorities correct or our priorities Cal calibrated correctly or are they out of whack our attitude towards our money are we are we do we have integrity or are we corrupt our attitude towards money says so much about who we are how do we use our money do we use our money to judge and to be superior and to manipulate do we use our money humbly and and with great humility to make that difference our attitude towards our money so I didn't get to this last night that's why I'm you can listen to that whole class I didn't get to this last night but Sal said so why in the Mish coming back why in the Mish do you have to say we're doing for someone's health because we're going to givea on their behalf why can't I say give them good health because I DAV for them so I'll tell you why because the gar says in that there are three things that cause God to take out your file three things that make God go to the file cabinet used to say have to go to the now he probably is on Google Docs so three things that make God go on Google Docs and say oh Goldberg Ephraim you know let me see how he's doing let me see what he's what he's worthy of and what are those three things so the gamar says if you are Mo if you turn your friend in now it's a different world today we live in a democracy in a benevolent democracy but for many or most of Jewish history Jews lived among dictators and tyrants and if you would turn a fellow Jew in it could cost them their life being a Moser through Jewish history was one of the worst things you could Beav but in certain other spheres and groups if you're a snitch it's the worst thing you could be do a lot of things corrupt but if you're a snitch it's the worst so for the Jewish in fact in someone's book who spoke here who lived in that world he actually quoted the rambam in his talk and in his book about being the last Jewish gangster and he quoted this rambam and he said the gangsters got it from the rambam that being a snitch being a Moser is the worst thing that you could be so basically the gamar says you think you're in a position to turn a fellow Jew in let's see how well you're doing you're turning someone in You're The Whistleblower on someone not not there's it's an ethical thing it's a moral wonderful thing to be a whistleblower I'm talking in a different context but you think you're turning somebody in let's see how well you're doing the second thing the gar says is you walk underneath a dilapidated wall you walk underneath a shaky ladder because you're so arrogant the thing looks like it's about to collapse but you walk underneath it so sure that you'll be protected God says you're so sure that you deserve to be protected you put yourself in a dangerous situation with such confidence even though it's so foolish that you're going to be okay such arrogance let's see your file let's see whether you deserve to be saved the third thing is somewhat the gar says this um doesn't really Define it says the third thing is rash there have a debate what does that mean the third thing that we can engage in that causes God to look at our file and evaluate us and our worthiness is what is so is when you walk away from daving saying you know I just had the best daving concentrated on every word I sang every Melody I didn't talk whatsoever I was on time I chuckled what a daving I'm positive I'm going to get answered now my daving was so sincere was so authentic was so moving I was brought to tears there's no way God doesn't hear me there's no way I'm not answered favorably or positively so such a person God says get me their file I say get me their file what a wonderful person they've DED so beautifully they put in their oil and their greatest effort and now they're confident that you the one they love has heard them why is that a bad thing that should be a good thing so the explanation is you know why it's a bad thing because if you think that if you Daven well you deserve to be answered who are you really daving to and what is daving really all about it's really just you and your self it's really just you and your micromanaging and controlling if you think that if I dve in well I get answered then daving is just another thing on your checklist of your initiative that reinforces this illusion that you're in control I have to go to the doctor and I go to work and I do this and I pay this bill and I invest in that oh and I said my daving and I'm good to go I said my ding I said my daving by the way remember I told you last week about somebody who had run into a wall Davin a lot says extra things as a really really special righteous person and then felt God was didn't answer them and something and therefore had this crisis I don't believe in God anymore and I told you what I told that person how wrong I think they were that we don't only trust and believe and talk to God when the answer is yes it's easy to do it when the answer is yes we have to talk to him and trust him when the answer is no and he's such a deep Faith so it really it really shook me that he was filled with this doubt and this angst and felt that there's no God anymore anyway fast forward one week and that issue is please God resolved for the positive and what for him was this Earth shattering enormous collapse if you just gave God a little bit more time you might figure out how he can work it out or work it out sometimes it's a week it's a month a year a lifetime sometimes we never get to know why he does what he does but sometimes you got to give him a little bit of time and he's got a way of working it out but I said to him then and I say to you now that if we only talk to God on condition that he answers yes we're not really talking to God we're just using God as another tool to get what we want the question is do we believe in God and we talk to him even when the answer is no so that's is if I if I just do in well then God has to answer me well then I'm not really deferring or conceeding or submitting to God it's like you ask your spouse to do something and then you figured out before you asked them how to formulate it really nicely so you offered a nice compliment and you thank them for how amazing they are in your life and you try to say it in the way that they always tell you you never ask it so you say it in that perfect way and they still say no they say what do you mean no I did it exactly right what do you mean no what do you mean you have a different opinion than me what do you mean you don't agree with me but I complimented you and I thanked you and I said it quietly and softly and nicely like what do you mean no so the other person says do you want my opin you want a relationship with me or you think that as long as you say it the right way I just have to be the rubber stamp to everything you want God's not our rubber stamp and and we should be grateful that he's not because he has the infinite omnipotent perspective and vision of what's best for us we have a limited finite perspective we should be glad and grateful he's not a rubber stamp but if we treat God like he's a rubber stamp then we're not in a real relationship that's so if you why should you heal them because we're ding any world right now says that's not why you ding GI ster do an act of Charity that would be a violation of this prohibition of okay so let's continue Ina we're second paragraph from the bottom page page 78 it's not automatic that Ding strengthens our faith for doing to work you have to be present while you DAV daving can't be a rubber stamp or a checklist thing either that you say you know I started the beginning I made it to the end I don't remember saying one word but I know I was there I clocked in if you look at the time stamp I clocked into to sh there at 9: left at 11:20 11:30 I put in my time I don't remember saying one word I don't know what the words mean I didn't really have a conversation I never felt I was in the presence of God I wasn't really my soul wasn't really on fire I didn't nourish my soul but I clocked in I clocked in if you're not paying attention it's very easy to say the words that God the opening words of the that God is Almighty and powerful and wondrous it's very easy for it to Rattle off I I um came back from Atlanta last night and the plane the flight landed on schedule which was pretty late and I had to drive home and at some point I realized that I got home and I didn't remember driving one minute of how I got there oh yeah I didn't remember being on 95 or how I it was safe I was fine my eyes were open the whole time it wasn't that it was dangerous it was late at night I was tired my mind was wandering somehow got from Fort Lauderdale Airport to Thornhill Green in the driveway and didn't remember one second of how I got there so you'll ask well that's that's extraordinary how how did the brain work how did it know when to step on the pedal and when to step on the gas and when to turn on the blinker and when to make a turn and when to get off the highway and had to get home and the answer is something called hairgel hairgel means habit hairgel comes from the word regel where your feet just take you there the same way I drove home sometimes our feet can just walk us someplace and we don't ever remember getting there herel is from regel we try to interrupt the pattern of habit in our lives how we have a calendar which is hair Gull a day Blends into a week Blends into a month Blends into a year and it just all Blends together our life we're creatures of habit it all Blends together and we need to interrupt it and remind ourselves what really matters to calibrate our Compass to re-evaluate our priorities to tap into different energies and themes so we have to interrupt all of the hairgel how do we do it with scha Regal we interrupt the hairo with regum we interrupt the habit of our feet just taking us there with regum the holidays are called sukus p and Sh are called the three regum because they interrupt the hairgel so we have this enormous problem our our time is suffering from it more than ever thanks to devices and therefore we're focused on solving it more than ever although I'm not sure we're winning that war so that's why the catch Word of Our Generation is mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness books and mindfulness seminars and mindfulness gurus and mindfulness workouts and mindfulness yo everything's mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness why do we need mind our grandparents didn't need mindfulness so much more why didn't they need mindfulness because they weren't suffering from mindlessness seriously they didn't suffer from mindlessness when they were talking to someone at night it wasn't competing with their device and their TV and the radio and the 17 other things and checking the social media and 4 million other things so when you're not living in a Mindless time you don't need to focus on mindfulness when you're living in a time that's mindless you need to focus on mindfulness so hagale is the biggest obstacle we are absent present in so much of our lives our physically we're there but if our mind is elsewhere the whole drive home from the airport I was absent present I was in my car I got home now it didn't really matter that I didn't pay attention because there is no value in paying attent I mean there's a value to be safe but beyond getting where you need to go the experience itself is not transformative that you know I missed out on the opportunity to have the experience of driving home on 95 it's a purely functional pragmatic goal I had to get home I got home safely we're good to go but at that same attitude where your mindless in a conversation with a child with a spouse with the almighty your mind listens something that really matters that makes a difference that's supposed to be an experience so an empty which is just habit a where you got to the end and you don't ever remember how you got there you don't remember getting home is an empty Tila it's an empty Tila just like if you go out with somebody to spend time and each of you on your phone the whole time or your mind has wandered because you're focused and worried about something else you think you get the credit of having spent time with them but you don't you are absent present you weren't really thereau we are wherever our minds are we are wherever our head is that's where we are that's where we are in fact this is in our I didn't get to this in the parha class yesterday class is basically all the things I didn't get to in the other classes during the week so in yesterday's para class or maybe I did get to it I don't remember the has an amazing Insight when the person brings their when a person the farmer comes and brings the confession of the tithes he says I didn't violate any of your mitos and I didn't forget isn't that redundant if you didn't violate the of course you didn't forget you're saying to God I did all your Mitzvah I did them perfectly I did them correctly I did them accurately I didn't violate any Mitzvah and nor did I forget well if you didn't violate of course you didn't forget isn't it redundant so has a great Insight says La Means physically I did it but means and I didn't forget to be there while I did it I was present I wasn't absent present says I shook the lul says I heard the Chau says I lit the candles says I sat in the Su means I knew why I was doing it what it was all about why I was there and I had it in mind I was present with you I was in a relationship There Was An Intimate rendevu I made a connection I was transformed by the experience you could hear the chauffer and put the check r two days chauffer check but did you close your eyes and did you let the sound of the chauffeur Pierce and penetrate your heart did it serve as an alarm to awaken you did you think about the siren in Israel that makes a person scramble to a shelter and what is the shelter and place of Refuge in our lives whatever is the symbolism that you want to tap into with the sound of the chauffeur you can hear the chauffeur like chck heard the chauffeur let me see how how red did Goldberg's face get while he was blowing it were his cheek puffy is he going to run into trouble will he make it through without a problem there's all kinds of thoughts you could have while the chauffer's being blown were they those or they I close my mind and I'm listening to those different diverse sounds of the chauffeur and does it Pierce and penetrate and break open my heart so I feel something this R means check I did it check means I didn't forget to be there I didn't forget to be present while it was happening the ramb quotes the practice of the early Pious ones who would meditate and reflect and practice mindfulness for an hour before they daved we run in and we say hello to 17 different people and we find our seat and we arrange our stuff and then we're in the amida we're standing as if we can have a conversation with an invisible being without working on it you know what the early Pious people did they came they sat closed their eyes took deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth and they practiced a little mindfulness you could speak out loud yeah I said Penny what did you say about AIG that is telling me way she yeah no matter how we were rushed she always stopped first she would take her sitter and I would see her just walk a little bit close her eyes you can tell that she was thinking about what she was going to be doing before she spoke she was one of the later Pious ones yeah so avig Al Shalom an amazing role model for us so she lived and practiced exactly what we're being instructed to do which is you don't run I mean could you imagine running into the gym and and setting the weight on the highest level and running into doing 50 reps of the highest weight and you just got into the gym you didn't stretch you didn't get your heart beating you didn't get your blood flowing you didn't work out on anything else first and you go right to the heart talking to Hashem the amid standing in front of him and trying to connect and have a conversation is the hardest workout of the gym you got to build up to it you got to be ready for it if you're going to get the most out of it and not injure yourself in the process so the the early Pious ones or a the latest Pious ones spend a moment in mindfulness in personal reflection clearing your head did I tell you about the trip to the beach we took the hodus we should do a woman's hodus from the Amun but we did a men's hodus a couple weeks ago we met late at night at the beach and we ate Chen we don't have to do that for the woman's version it was a Thursday night so we hit Ching which is always good for mindfulness and um then we sat in the circle and we studied a pie P of text by hisus means Solitude aloneness with God conversation with god all alone clearing out all the noise and all the distractions and having a conversation not as if he's your best friend and not as if he's right in front of you but talking to him because he's your best friend and because he's right in front of you so we studied this piece and then we listened to a very moving song Only You that RB Weinberger played last year when he spoke here mosha wber only you only you about God and then we talked about what his podus is and then we scattered across the pitch black Beach and people sat there with nothing oh we had a big box and everyone had to deposit their phone and we locked it and without your phone everybody spread out and they found their place and not to yourself and not just with your eyes closed but literally out loud had a conversation with god to train ourselves in that hisus the the I wasn't sure how it went while it was going on because you don't really know and afterwards the emails and text messages showed just how how amazing it was for people it was really really powerful really really powerful you could do that even you could be alone in a crowded room you could be alone in a crowded room in a positive sense which is you close your eyes you breathe we did some breathing exercises on the beach too the word for breath in Hebrew isima the word for soul in Hebrew is and it's not a coincidence that the two words are connected how did we get our first breath God put us together he took some clay and some Earth and he molded us together and he made the first man Adam and now was time to bring him to life to make him a breathing animated being how did he do it he did not take a defibrillator and say clear and shock man into being how did he do it God breathed a piece of when you breathe the Cal I only really understood this this summer when we saw glass blowing because cabala gives the example of glass blowing person who blows glass takes a deep breath and they take the breath within themselves and they blow it to expand the glass so the glass now has a piece of themselves in it they took when you take the deep breath within us it's not easy to do not The Superficial breath that's just in our voice box and Beyond but really from your diaphragm a deep inner breath if you've ever blown up balloons for your kid's birthday party you need to take a nap afterwards after half of one balloon you're like you can't breathe then you know that when you take the breath from deep inside you so God created man by taking a deep breath within himself and he breathed it into man into us and we all have a Godly spirit and a Godly Soul we have godliness we have capacity for discipline we have Holiness within us because he breathed the Peace of himself into us how do we remember that how do we renew that how do we restore that how do we get back to that how do we reset ourselves to that by Breathing by breathing deep breathing nishima we're in touch with our Nish when we take the time to have a proper nishima when we breathe properly we're nourishing not only the body but the soul Our Generation also has major respiratory problems there are studies that show your head has to be a certain level in order to really be breathing properly our head is always this level and our pathway is closed and we're breathing in a very shallow way also we're always running and doing and going and we're not breathing we're not getting the deep breath the way we need so that's true physically but it's also true spiritually and emotionally we're not breathing we're not breathing emotionally we're not breathing spiritually we restore the by taking Aima and now I'll give you the best part you ready another says you want to cavana for when you hear the chauffer on R he says this is why we're blowing the chauffeur I could tell you as a chauffeur blower do you know how we produce the sound in the chauffeur if you try to blow it superficially from your larynx you'll pass out and you won't get a good sound you have to take a deep breath inside your yourself in order to get the sound out of the chauffeur so the person who blowing the chauffeur is essentially declaring by producing the sound of the chauffeur what you're declaring is the breath that you put in me on the first rashash rashash corresponds with the sixth day of creation the creation not of the world rashash corresponds with the creation of mankind of humanity that is the anniversary of the day that God breathed life into us how do we celebrate our anniversary of the day that God breathed life into us by affirming that that breath is still still there how do we declare and affirm that that breath is still there by using it to produce the sound of the chauffeur you can't produce the sound of the Cher without using that breath deep inside us and that's my way of saying you know what God no matter how far I've gone from you no matter how far I've strayed no matter how much I've neglected our relationship no matter how much I've undermined our relationship still deep inside me on this anniversary of our relationship there's a piece of you still deep inside me I haven't forgotten it and I can bring it out again and here it is in the sound of a chauffeur I'm producing this Clarion call this alarm that's produced by the reminder that there's a piece of you still deep inside me so when we went to the beach we took we did some deep breathing it's really important it's not a coincidence that any mindfulness practice any meditation practice any yoga practice is going to have breathing as a fundamental part of it being present in our breathing being mindful in our breathing being conscientious of our breathing because n and nishima they go together so the ra says would spend an hour now we don't spend an hour our corresponds with that amount of time is our buildup it's the time that we're supposed to be thinking and reflecting and breathing and and imagining I'm getting rid of all the noise and all the distraction I'm disconnecting in order to connect and this what the ra the imagery we're supposed to have how do you achieve kavana is to turn our heart away from all the distractions and to see our as if I'm standing before God standing before God if you're in the Oval Office no editorial comment of any president or whoever you would admire would you be on your phone it wouldn't even be with you you'd leave it in the glove compartment you'd leave it in your bag you'd turn it all the way off not just to vibrate because if you have an audience with an extraordinary person a powerful person a person who can be the solution to your problems you're not going to even risk the possibility of being distracted so the ra says a person has to sit a little bit and direct our heart and practice mindfulness and the quality of youring one of the people who wrote to me said you know that night I didn't think I got anything out of the his this that night I didn't I sat I had to tried to have this conversation I sang the song The kumit I ate the chant maybe that's why I didn't get anything out of it but I I sat there and I wasn't sure I got anything out of it he said but the next morning when I daved I realized how much I got out of it the next morning at davening which was you know 12 hours later that was the payoff of the experience of so ra says the payoff spend a few moments in mindful reflection and when you D the quality of your ding will be different so the what made them exceedingly Pious is they spent a whole hour doing mindfulness every day but the RAM is codifying it's Jewish law that even if we don't have time or even we can't spend an hour like you have to spend at least a little bit you have to come into that's why said we always have Ash before amida we say Ash if you're L to listening to sitter Snippets we say Ash before the amida amida means I'm standing before God that's when I'm having this intimate randevu that's when I have my audience in his Oval Office that's my personal conversation but before I can have an before I can be before I can stand before God I say Ash what is Ash to sit that you have to be sitting in a sitting position when you say Ash you come to some people times you're scrambling you're running I'm about to stand anyway and say why bother sitting for as if you see who's a student follows and always sits for ash because what's the sitting for ash you're making the statement I'm not running in and running right into the Y I'm spending a moment sitting a moment sitting reflecting yeah yeah one should sit Ash before you do an amida you do an ash before you say an amid you say an ash before you can connect to God in conversation you need to connect with yourself how do you know what conversation you're going to have with God if you haven't gathered your thoughts if you're not doing some deep breathing if you're not fully present and you haven't shut out all the distractions and everything that's going around so the rambam's not just saying this is a nice virtuous thing to do oh did it Pious people do it and holy people do it this this is something which is WR similarly do not begin to D until you've closed your eyes and done a little breathing for 30 seconds for 60 seconds I wrote an article a few months ago about doing three minutes a day I'm sure everybody's doing there 3 minutes but if not for three minutes and if not for one minute for 10 seconds you came into sh sit down for 10 seconds deep breath and close your eyes and have this imagination that you're pushing everything out and it's just you and him and what's important and what do I care about and what am I thankful for and what's going amazing in my life and what do I want to protest and what do I need to ask about and let me think and let me be and let me hear my own inner voice before I can express my voice to Hashem it's it's tried it's tried and true tested and true that it works it works not only will your ding why do we care if your daving is different is God so arrogant that he cares so much about how you praise him and how much time we praise him I'm not name dropping but many years ago I did uh Larry David's mother's funeral and I spent two days with Larry David the writer the creator of Seinfeld who is a very fascinating personality um but we had a lot of very deep conversations about Judaism and one of them was this believe believe it or not somebody so brilliant and he may be wacky but it's a brilliant wackiness so brilliant one of his biggest issues or obstacles to a relationship with God is why is God so arrogant that I got to pray to him every day is he so arrogant he needs me to praise him and you're this and you're that and you're great and you're mighty and you're God is so arrogant that you need to praise him so I said to him Larry with all due respect you think your Praises really do anything for God you know if I gave the analogy that you know if if a 5-year-old would would tell uh Tiger Woods you're a great golfer would Tiger Woods be like proud would that be a great compliment he'd pinch the kid's cheek and he'd say that's nice you really have no idea what golf is what golf is good you don't you don't know anything about it if Phil Michelson tells tiger you're a great golfer it means something to Tiger so I told him our pray God tolerates our Praises he doesn't ask them he doesn't need them he doesn't want them they do nothing for him aside from the fact that he's perfect and omnipotent at most he tolerates our praises and our prayers he doesn't need it we don't do it for him we're doing it for us and why are we doing it for us because coming full circle with this will end for today we're doing it for us because it is an exercise in humility we live in the world and the world and the feedback the world gives us only increases and promotes our arrogance right we do something and it gets a result so that makes us believe the illusion that we are in charge I made an investment and had a return I did a good business decision and I made a lot of money I went to the doctor I took the medicine I worked out and I got better and I healed we take action we take initiative and hopefully please God our actions and our initiative bring about results and that leads to the continued continued mistaken notion that we're in charge that we're in control that it's all about us and then we have a big problem because the more arrogant we are the less room there is for others and the more that we really hurt and harm people and relationships and most of all we harm ourselves with our arrogance because we become isolated even if we're surrounded by people who are acting as if they want to be with us um if they're arrogant nobody wants to be with an arrogant manipulative person so we we become arrogant through our day through our success and then the arrogance ends up only hurting us so doming is amazing three times a day you come to sh three times a day even at home you open your sitter and here's what the sitter says let me paraphrase the entire sitter you're an idiot don't be arrogant you fool you're in charge of nothing and if everyone would really know how pathetic and insecure you are even with all of your success UC don't get so high and mighty because all I have to do says God is send you just a little just a little problem you know there's a a great quote I don't know who said it that NE there are people who are so poor all they have is money NE there are people so poor all they have is money money's great money's great money buys a lot of convenient things and comfort money can solve a lot of problems and money can help you indulge in luxury money can be great but neb they're people so poor all they have is money they have no self-confidence they have no real relationships they have no richness of Life they have no happiness or joy they have no Serenity peace of mind or peace of body neb there are people who are so rich that all they have is money so we should never think that our arrogance that we're in charge so we have this platform called davening which is amazing three times a day we come we say you schnook you nothing remember that you're nothing and that you need me because it could all disappear overnight and all the money in the world can't solve what are the biggest problems when a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness and we've lost precious and dear friends and all the money in the world couldn't bring them back and all the money in the world couldn't stop what was happening to them so who can afford to think they're arrogant who could think they're arrogant and they're in control and they're in charge and they're going to dictate to others and to God and impose themselves who could make that mistake who could live through this year and see what our community went through who could see what happens Ari fold's y site was just now all the money in the world would have stopped Ari fold's death his murder at the hands of a heinous a heinous terrorist who could have lived this past year Mike Stern Danny grea aiga Brian who could live this year and have the arrogance and the ego to impose their will on others to think they're in charge and in control to dictate to God and to people around them and to not realize how vulnerable and how fragile and how short life is and what really matters and what really counts and what really lasts so three times a day we get together and we say to Hashem you're in I concede I work for you you don't work for me in between the daving I'm going to go out and work hard and work hard and try to kill it and take every initiative I can but then I keep coming back to that anchor and to remember that this is an exercise in humility that God you are in charge not me I work for you you don't work for me let's just actually finish these last Quick sentences and then we'll pick up next week with the new chapter very quickly we talked about how with with faith we can heal the fire inside us we can extinguish the arrogance inside us and instead have that fire burn for us to do good and through this we can heal anger and arrogance someone living with this absolute faith in God arrogance has no place in their life anger has no room in their life by the way has anyone did anyone ever see any of the names I just mentioned raise their voice lose it with anger is it a coincidence tragically why God takes the best of us I don't and can't ever understand but those names I mentioned from our community alone Brian and Danny and abigil and Mike and AR these were people who had such deep Faith such unbelievable faith and is it a coincidence they had great faith and also were humble and didn't get angry it all goes together you want to work on those character traits then work not on the symptom work on the core which is Faith have the humility to realize there's someone bigger and greater and More in charge and that we defer and submit to him everything that happens is for a reason there's no room to ever get angry there's no room to ever act arrogantly you have to analyze and study character traits the same way you do anything else we have to analyze and study and understand and appreciate and learn from them the more that is alive within us the more that it'll bring out the best of us and in us and it'll give us the best lives we could have if we want the richest most meaningful relationships if we want access and to be able to learn from the messages of people around us if we want to be to grow to be the best version of ourselves if we want to be calm cool and collect and make the best decisions if we want to leave the best Legacy then we can arrive at it all when we work on that sense of Faith within us have a fantastic day