Part 103: Loving Hashem Means Loving His Other Children

okay so originally I actually copied a piece from the on P where theba develops the idea that it's not his idea since PES happened it's been the idea PES is theun so this is our amuna class this is our amuna what's Aruna support group where we get together to remind ourselves that whatever stress whatever challenges come our way in life to take that deep breath an mil that everything is from Hashem it's by Design it's for a reason and therefore we can relieve any sense of anxiety anger Envy or the emotions that sabotage our own happiness so that all derives it all stems from PES and the whole exercise the purpose of the Sater night is to increase and to promote our sense of amuna we are on a journey from as the as the Seder is structured as the itself is structured the we start out with we start out with something which is degrading something which is negative about ourselves a whole lesson own right we've spoken a lot about in the past that we need to be willing to expose our children our family our friends to our imperfections we don't flaunt them we don't embrace them we don't show them off but when we try to promote as if we are perfect and we live in a perfect world then things will implode people will collapse relationships will fail no one and nothing is perfect and we're not afraid to share our pimples and warts figuratively at the Seder um and we start Mas and of course the famous is RA what does it mean that we start out with something disparaging so one opinion is we mention that you know what we weren't always this righteous we weren't always this faithful we weren't always this virtuous our ancestors our forefathers were they were idolators they got it wrong they were living incorrect religious lives and we're not afraid to tell you that but look how far we've come and look who we are now and look where yet we can go that's one opinion the other opinion is knew that we were slaves and of course this mlus this debate is which is the emphasis of the which is the focus of the Seder is it physical freedom and emancipation is it a journey from being physically enslaved to physical Freedom or is the emphasis of the Sater Knight a more metaphysical emotional spiritual journey From Slavery to Freedom the answer of course is both but the m is the debate is which is the emphasis of the Seder what are we trying to recall that we were physically in bondage and look at us now we're physically free or that we were emotionally spiritually in bondage and look now how emotionally free that we are we'll talk about it more the shabas shabas our topic is about the Seder night is a model for living with seder all year round and the notion of what it means to be because really it's a contradiction we left God God freed us he liberated us we're no longer slaves to par instead we became slaves to him what kind of freedom is that so the answer is that you can only achieve Freedom through discipline and the reason that we celebrate freedom with seder is to motivate us to live our entire lives with seder to be punctual to be on time to be organized to have rules to have regulations and only in a framework can we actually achieve real a real sense of Freedom so slavery is when you procrastinate and you're lazy when you're a mess and you're uncoordinated and disorganized when you can't get your act together you're enslaved to those qualities that you can't get past and when you have dis and you're you you're reigning over your own life then that actually creates Freedom that actually creates Freedom just as an example if you want Financial Freedom then you need financial discipline if you have no Financial discipline and you rack up credit card debt and you spend beyond your means that doesn't give you Freedom that you're undisciplined in your spending that enslaves you now you're enslaved to credit cards to De the rest of your life for Financial Freedom you need financial discipline that's just an example it's a metaphor for everything in life you want freedom from technology you need something called chabas you need rules and regulations anyway we're going to talk more about this this uh this chabas that's just a little preview so the question is is it a journey from a physical bondage to physical Freedom or a spiritual emotional um existential Supernatural metaphysical bondage to all of that of of Freedom which is the emphasis and the answer is that P the moment that we invest in Hashem defer to Hashem feel his presence in our our life we achieve both it liberates us both physically and even metaphysically as well it enables us to reach our our highest levels so there's a beautiful piece from the which I literally copied and that's what we're going to learn and then I shelved it instead I want to learn this with you because the piece that we're going to learn together really I think is you know the notion of is important and it Bears repeating and review and it's also incredibly cliched we know it every Tor is about it we hit we review it every year I want to share with you something which is new a sort of new angle on PES maybe one that we wouldn't anticipate or expect and bring a different attitude and approach to our pesak this year comes from a saer called Al's author is bless you bless you is a r in Brooklyn New York his father was the author of The saer orah an extraordinary recently on our base medish of BRS flying to New York we went with a whole group of men and we visited 12 different rabbis around the New York area to learn to ask to talk so he was one of them I'd never met him before in the deep in the basement under his Shool in in Brooklyn and he's a very intense intense great Tam his eyes can burn a hole in the back of your head very intense very passionate very intense just being in his presence talking to him learning from him listening to him is really impactful and transformative so so he has many they're called and Sayer on he has the piece that's in front of you called the time to embrace the Das the the the will of Koo of the one who owns US of of the almighty okay see it you got it says the following thear there says that a person who imbibes indulges in wine has experiences has experienced being connected to Hashem what does that mean we're not endorsing alcohol alcoholism we believe in drinking responsibly and in moderation of course but what it means is that when you remove your inhibition and you stop thinking that you are the source of everything then you make room for another you make room for Hashem ego in the program they say ego stands for edging God out person who has an ego has edged God out there's not enough room in the universe not enough room in the universe for both us and Hashem so when we think that the world has to operate the way we need it to operate what do you mean this was supposed to be a green light supposed to leave on time the person was supposed to meet here then this was supposed to happen this way I wasn't supposed to get the flu when we think that we're the universe has to operate the way that we wrote it up then our ego and we've edged God out God said says okay you don't need me you think you're control you're running the world you've got everything planned I'm out of here you're on your own and when you're on your own you're exposed to the elements and to people and to things but instead when we shrink our ego and instead of edging God out we Edge God in we make room for him we recognize and we relinquish control to him doesn't mean we don't take initiative and do everything that we need to do but we relinquish control to him when we make room for Hashem then he fills that room it says the P says that what's the goal the Mitzvah of the evening is to tell over the story that is the goal of the evening to tell the story and why are we telling the story here's what we're really telling the children is sometimes you feel alone abandoned sometimes you're not sure why things are happening the way they are sometimes you wish things were different sometimes you think you're the subject of Randomness and chance I want to tell you a story about your great Bubbies and great zes I want to tell you a story about your ancestors and how we're here now it's a 3500 year old story from harini I want to tell you a story when we were in Egypt and they felt Down and Out 210 years of suffering and they felt invisible and neglected and then Hashem came in and he orchestrated things and he suspended The Rules of Nature because he's intimately involved in our lives and that's why he introduces the not I'm the Lord your God who created the world but I'm the Lord your God who took you out of Egypt and why are we going through this whole exercise of a St or night because we want children to know that just like Hashem was involved in your great great great grandparents lives he's involved in your life and even though you can't see him as revealed as they did you need to know he's involved in your life and we are intensely investing in that conversation sator night it's not about catria it's not about C Tor it's not about arts and crafts project Haas all that's lovely and it's nice but it's not what the night is about the night is a question and answer it's evoking the Curiosity and the inquisitiveness of the children so that we can tell them I got to tell you our shab table can I lot of children and it's hard to keep the children's attention they want to leave the table read a book they disappear they talk to one another you lose them especially if you have guests especially if you have conversation there's nothing that keeps the children's attention at least at our Shas table more than if my parents or in-laws are over and they're telling a story from their life or of their parents or of their grandparents or their great grandparents all of a sudden children's ears perk up they want to hear they want to learn they want to listen they're curious It's so interesting and it speaks to them because these are their own ancestors it's so meaningful it talks directly to them so that's what that's is we're telling our children a story about their own ancestors but a story that directly directly relates to their life and why are we doing it what's the purpose and Mission what's the goal of it it's a curriculum it's pedagogy why are we doing it the itself says why so there's an increased awareness and cognizance and knowledge that I'm God you you live in a world where you can sometimes forget I'm here let's tell a story that reminds everyone that he's here through the telling the story a person arrives at knowing there's God when we were in Egypt we were indentured Slaves by not only were we physically in bondage har didn't only assassinate kill murder genocide enslave and persecute our people but we were also assimilated into his value system into his culture we had abandon our true selves our true identity so this is a very big theme it's a theme about P that what it means to beus is that our Das is inas Das means mindfulness awareness conscientiousness presence thoughtfulness when you are enslaved you don't have time to think you don't have time to be you don't have time to strategize you don't have time to have intention you're just overwhelmed in fact just today the new mishak magazine was published I have an article in it on exactly this the notion of that gas is when our Das when our own capacity to think is an exile and in the article I talk all about what we can do to recover our Das pesak is the experience it's tragic that in the buildup and preparation for pesak many people are not actually liberating themselves they're further becoming enslaved right with the overwhelming um unnecessary again I say that risking my own life but the overwhelming sometimes or often or somewhat unnecessary amount of effort or work or time that's being invested we have less margin less room to think less room to be less room to to prepare less room to liberate ourselves it's the antithesis to what pesak is supposed to be so how do we recover D and the article I talk about the difference between being a thermostat and a thermometer a ther a thermometer tells you your temperature a thermostat lets you control your temperature when you have no D you you know you're a thermometer you're talking to your friend and you say I'm exhausted I get no sleep I have so many rooms yet to clean and I'm cooking this how many people are coming and I can't even think I can't even breathe I can't even be I can't even sleep I can't even all you're doing is describing how miserable your life is you're a thermometer you're telling your temperature and many people concede that they have the power to change it and our mission our goal is not just to be a thermometer it's to be a thermostat change the temperature okay okay so be in control be disciplined be organized again shabas soas what does it mean to be an exile is the capacity to think to be as an exile that's what parro did when he saw when he was concerned the Torah tells us that when par was concerned that the Jewish people were plotting a rebellion what did he do he increased the work why did he increase the work because the more overwhelmed with work we are the less room we have to think to dream dream to believe that it can be different the first step to it being different is to believe it can be different and the first step to believing it can be different is to have room to think so whether it's your marriage or whether it's your health or whether it's your children or whether it's your knowledge or whether it's your career or whatever it is that you want to be different you have to believe it can be different and the only way to arrive at being able to believe it can be different is to have the space and the room and the margin and the bandwidth to believe that it can be different so the goal is that at the end of the night when you've concluded Kaja and you've em bied four cups of wine and countless pounds of matah and you've feel disgusting but the goal is to physically feel disgusting but to spiritually feel alive and awake and to feel that you are you've experienced Revelation when I sat down at the Seder I was confused and I was uncertain and I had kinds of doubts but by the end of reviewing the story and hearing about my ancestors and seeing myself as going through that process and identifying in what ways have I been enslaved and how have I freed myself and where is God in my life by the end of the night instead of my Das being in gas I have AAS Hashem I've made space I've carved room I have the bandwidth to feel and to see Hashem in my life that's the purpose the goal the essence of lant sapper that's why we're going through this journey it's not about the roast it's important to have a good roast but it's not about the China the Seder plate the table all that's beautiful it that all that's there to complement to enhance the the purpose of the night you know it's like you have a beautiful wedding magnificent flowers and a gorgeous schorg and and beautiful candelabra and amazing decor and beautiful wedding dress but the and K don't really like each other well what's the point of all that what's the point of all that if you don't get to the essence which is the love and the affection and the intimacy of thean and kala so sator night thean and Kal is usem and we haven't had time to spend with each other and we haven't been able to be intimate and we've been uncertain what the future of our relationship with is and then we come to the sator night and all the decor is magnificent and everything is in place but the purpose is to have with hasem is to have Das is to stand under the with hasem the purpose is to know he's there and to have such a transformative experience that it leaves us changed the whole year in another piece I hope we're going to I you know I chose the short piece and I'm like this is a no-brainer we'll get through this no problem we're going to get through it we're going to get through it but in another piece in he says something amazing he says that is not about why is this night different than all the nights it's that how am I going to be different because of tonight what's different after tonight what's different when PES is over how am I a different person how will I live with greater how will I be more patient more kind more loving how will I make space and margin and rment for others how will I have a bandwidth to Fem in my life it's not man it's what's different because of tonight a whole different understanding of man so beautiful last week I was in and I went to a she of one of my and in the sheer he described he gave a great metaphor he said you know when you have a phone you can create favorites you can create auto dial whatever they call it today why so let's say I call 100 times a day like may like to check in 100 times a day so I could dial her number it's made up of 10 digits and that's timec consuming or I can take the time to put it in the phone once and then just have to press one button and now I call her so we all have spent the time to the people that we call the most often it takes time it takes effort you got to have their number there and you got to put it in and you got to save it the right way why do we do that because it makes much much more efficient later that we can only press one button and we're able to contact that person so said R seder night is the night that we set a tide to put all the amuna in the phone the whole because he was answering a question we have a Mitzvah every day of remembering that we left Egypt so what's the difference between the Mitzvah and all year long we say shma the third paragraph we remember that we left Egypt what's the difference between the daily Mitzvah to remember we left Egypt and pesak night it's like a super Mitzvah it's like the Mitzvah on steroids Uber Mitzvah so what's the difference between pesak night and the Mitzvah the whole year has a famous four differences there's a lot of differences which are offered said he said all year long we do the speed dial way of remembering and pesak night we're we're recording the number so we we dwell on it we take the time we take our time we do it slowly so that the rest of the year very quickly oh yes I press one button and I'm drawing from the energy and the experience of what I spent that night so the reservoir of amuna that we're going to draw from the entire year is filled on seder night on pesak night that's our mission that's our goal that's what we're trying to accomplish it the the Seder table is a place of great Delicacies and great conversation and great people but it's a classroom make no mistake it's a laboratory and it's a classroom and there's an educational message there's a curriculum there's a there's a pedagogy to it and the message is the ad that whatever confusion or lack of clarity or uncertainty or doubt we start the night with we walk away feeling certain and confident he was involved in their life he's involved in my life and I don't have to be anxious and I don't have to be jealous and I don't have to worry I have to turn to him I do my best I take my initiative and then I turn to him I lean on him so now says this is the this is where I'm about to take you in a different direction than you thought we were going to go a person wants to check you want to see at the end of the S so what's the exam what's the final exam at the end of the night if you want to know whether you achieved the goal the mission the purpose of the night whether the telling the story got you to the place of whether it's fantastic he says if you want to know whether you completed the purpose of SED or Knight the test is how you treat other people the test is not about God whether you really have learned that there is a God and he runs things the proof or the test the metric or the measure is how you treat other people do you have patience do you have room in your heart do you have kindness because if you treat other people nicely then you knew that telling the story was for a reason why why is all this because you know if you accept someone's your father then it means their other children are your siblings and you have a very different attitude to your siblings than you do to others sometimes for the good sometimes for the bad you know I once wrote another article about the idea that there there are all kinds of people that we love even if we don't like you know your friends you have to like because you've chosen them but your family even if you don't like them you have to love them you have to love people even if you don't like them that's is the Mitzvah you don't have to like them but you have to love them the difference between love and like Love Is A Verb like is an adjective love is how you treat other people like is how you feel about other people you don't have to like your family members but you have to love them love is about loyalty loyalty to me the number one thing about family is loyalty you have each other's back you don't stab each other in the back you don't gossip about one another you don't judge one another you don't fail to give the benefit of the doubt to one another family is about loyalty it's about loyalty so love is a verb it's showing loyalty it's showing kindness it's showing care to one another so says R sh if you want to know whether the Seder curriculum achieved its goal and you've learned the lesson are you more patient are you more kind do you have room for others who until then you had no patience for y why is that again because if you love God and you realize he's running the world so the person who used to drive you crazy the person who used to think about things differently the person who put a wrench in your plans the person who now you realize Hashem runs the world and if you love your father you love his other children someone called me yesterday about an issue between their children and I said you know maybe you can appeal to the one child to say that look I understand that you you have this thing you can't get past with your sibling I respect that I accept that you were hurt by them I understand that but if you respond by doing what they want to respond by doing understand you're not just hurting your sibling then now you're hurting me and I didn't do anything to you so I understand you're in pain and you deserve to figure out a way to work out that pain and you should communicate you should try to resolve it but if you take this kind of Revenge that what you want to do you're not now just hurting your sibling now you're hurting me and I didn't do anything to you so K looks down at us and he says if you really believe in me know that if you can't get along with my other children you're not just hurting them you're hurting me the evidence of your belief in me is how you treat my other children don't claim to love me and not be kind to my other children not be kind to your siblings so the proof the evidence of whether we've learned the lesson of sat or Knight whether we've discovered and accepted God whether it's man whether we are different because of this night is have we grown to learn to love the says that those who left Egypt had one Mitzvah one commandment 613 had not yet been given they had one Mitzvah and what was the one Mitzvah this one Mitzvah was more beloved to God than all the other the M says you know what their one Mitzvah was in whose Merit they left Egypt just be nice to one another Don't Be a Jerk don't be a just be nice just be nice be nice to one another and that meant more to God than all the other mitz be United be together you know we say this in our ding we say and therefore you redeemed us who's the simple understanding is means that hasem you did a great a kindness with us by taking us out of Egypt but the Von famously explains it elaborates doesn't mean you're it means in the Merit of people doing one another God took us out in the Merit of people being kind to one another God took us out if you've ever been angry at your children someone misbehaved but then you caught them getting along really nicely and that that wins you over now they could have whatever they want because all a parent wants really is for the children to love one another to be loyal to one another to get along with one another is there anything more more joyous to a parent more satisfying to a parent to see their children getting along so says look you're saturated you're marinated in the mear you have been marinating in the 49th level of T you have been pagans idolators you've got it all wrong religiously but you know what treat each other nicely I'll take you out of here treat each other nicely I'll take you on vacation treat each other nicely I'll buy you that thing you want just treat each other nicely and you could win me over even if you have so much else wrong you've got to get the other things right it's not a acceptable to get it wrong but even while you yet have all the rest wrong if you get along so was what we showed with one another he proves this the because the says the says when they left Egypt they had to borrow something so the simple understanding is they had to borrow something from the Egyptians and we took their gold and silver and many years later like 20 years ago some professor in Egypt tried to sue the Jewish people with interest for all that we stole so and the gamar already tells the story it's already recorded in the gamarra that their predecessor tried to do that to which what was our response 210 Years of Slavery really it was 86 years whatever intense slavery but 210 Years of Slavery if you figure out what we should have been paid an hour with inflation you still are ahead with whatever we took but the villain go and reinterprets it he says the word reu means your friend not your enemy so when the PK says you need to borrow something from RE it wasn't talking about taking something from an Egyptian it was talking about the Jews in Egypt with whatever little they had God says I need you to lend everything to one another exchange things lend things borrow from one another why because that was the only form of that could be done yet in Egypt and God says in the Merit of your doing with one another is when I'm going to take you out so when we do redeems us why because when we what love one another when we love the people we don't like it's easy to love the people you like it's easy but when you love even the people you don't like then the father says wow my kids get along my kids love one another I'll do anything for them and that's what the evening is about we discover Hashem and we make him our father so that we realize that everyone else are our siblings our fellow Jews are our siblings so therefore the proof of our amuna is our AAS if you have noas is you have no amuna you can't claim to love God and be cruel and unkind to his other children if you love God you're nice to his children and if you're not nice to his children then you don't really love God it's just that simple because of bat in s when a person is Overjoyed when a person is happy then they can tolerate even their enemy even people they don't like there's nothing could when you've got a skip in your step and and a bounce in your step and when you're joyous and happy and singing and everything feels right nobody could bring you down so the point at the end of the night is to be so we sing we're going to mention on chabas one of the reasons given the why we begin the we begin with song we're about to lift everybody up let's sing a song everybody knowses let's sing a song Because when you're Overjoyed when it's kak when you're singing when you got to skip in your step nobody could bring you down nobody could bring you down and this is why we drink the four cups of wine because wine makes you happy it takes away your inhibition it takes off the edge it makes you happy it makes you glad makes you giggle it makes you laughes you giggle the other thing wine does is it reveals our Essence so you know who we are in our core in our core we love everyone in our core we're kind in our Essence internal inside at our core we have so we help realize our Essence who we are we take away the inhibitions why don't I like that person because it's not cool to like that person and why don't I tolerate that person because what would they think of me if I tolerate that person and when you drink a little wine you take away the inhibitions and you don't care what anyone else thinks and you allow your goodness to shine and to break through that makes room for everyone that makes room for everyone the purpose of drinking on and the four cups is take off the edge to remove our inhibitions to Gladden our heart to lift us with song and to make room for us to be able to love everyone even the people we don't like and the four cups four cups is the measure to get Ackle inated just look at most of you at the end of your s so what happens when you get a little inated this is the essence of P but you know when you're a little bit inebriated you realize that I I don't understand anything going on I have no comprehension I have no Clarity you forfeit your Das so just like you forfeit your Das by having four cups of wine you realize I forfeit my Das Das is the one in charge so when you realize I don't have to be in charge I doesn't have to be my way not everyone has to think like me look like me I forit my almost autonomy I forfeit my ego when I stop edging God out and I make room for God you know who else I make room for everyone else everyone else when I have an ego I've not only edged God out with God I've edged everyone else out but when I can sublimate my ego when I can submit my ego when I can um const consolidate constrict my ego and I've now made room for I've also made room for others and that's why now the next V how do we begin the with this Aramaic disingenuous invitation we say whoever's hungry come and eat whoever needs come offer the carbon P the whole world asks is there a more disingenuous invitation than sitting with your windows closed your doors closed nobody can hear you and you say as a Grace sad anyone is hungry please we're we're very welcoming home we're a very open Home anybody who needs let's say you stand up at the end the Sho and say that let's say you send out a broadcast email or post on your social media anyone who needs a meal you're such a big graer because the doors closed hermetically sealed the windows closed hermetically sealed and you're proclaiming anyone who needs come and eat what's the purpose of this invitation so you're not really you're not extending the invitation for others we should extend the invitation for others long before PES now is the time now is the time we're 10 days out think of somebody who maybe has not been invited for a meal who might be alone who needs invitation and by the way the most meaningful person to invite is not the person you like it's the person that you love even though you don't like and you're able to restore that but we're not really inviting people so what are we doing says you know why we start out we sit down at the S and the first thing we do is we say anyone who needs come and eat it's not a genuine invitation we acknowledge that why am I saying that what I'm saying is you know what I know that right now no one's coming to this meal because of this invitation but I want to be on record that as of tonight even the people I don't like I love I'm going to start inviting people for meals even when I don't agree with them or get along with them or we're not particular friendly they're stranger that's who I'm going to have the invitation is not for others the invitation is an affirmation of our own it's an affirmation that I don't need to lock in to only invite my closest friends or the people who are exactly like me or who conform to my view of the world I'm going to invite people who I love but don't like you know that um the first night of the Seder is the same day of the week the Tisha Falls if you want to know when Tisha will be the summer all you have to know is when so seder is Friday night is it s Friday night s is Friday night so Tish is going to be Friday night we're going to observe it Saturday night Sunday every year if you want to know when Tish will be look at what's the connection between Tish and PES we spoke about this a little bit yesterday in the par class why we eat the egg at the Seder table and we wear the K and all the Illusions to morning are because you know PES even though we spend one night and we feel like royalty and Regal and we're celebrating with glory and Caron God and the Divine protection he provides the reality is we're still in gulas and there's still anti-Semitism and there's still dangerous and there are still threats and the reality is that we're still living a Tish of existence and why do we have Tish of why do we sit low to the ground and why was the Bas M just destroyed why couldn't get along ysep and his brothers couldn't figure it out sh they couldn't even say hello they couldn't give a Shalom they couldn't be in the same room you voted for who you think what you root for what team you wear what yamaka you send your kid to which school if you don't conform and do exactly as I want and I believe and I see for myself I have no room I have no space for you and what's the result of that isban it's Devastation and destruction God says makes sense by the way a parent is sitting there and their children are saying you know and this happen sadly children don't vote for the same candidate children don't send to the same school they don't wear the same yamaka they don't listen to the same music and they don't wear the same clothing and they don't choose the same haska for a lifestyle so when a parent sits there and over here he's children judging and marginalizing and dismissing and rejecting one another you know what the parent says bye-bye I'm going home I don't want to be here I don't need to be here I don't want to be here and I'm certainly not taking you all away for pesak or taking you away on vacation or giving you all gifts or showering you with blessing if you guys can't get along I'm out of here choose what you choose for yourself you don't have to judge others so says the same thing and that's what the was that's what was Hashem is watching he's sitting there he's like I shower you with blessing I give you everything and all you do is criticize and judge and dismiss one another I'm out of here I'm leave the B was our home and he says I'm leaving the home I'm out of here I'm gone I'm going to a retirement community where you young people can't go because I don't want to be around you if you can't get along so how do we what should the children do in that moment chase after the parent and say no no no you're right we love one another we're not going to bring up the things we're only going to focus on what brings us together or we're going to learn to disagree agreeably we're going to love one another we're going to like one another we're going to be loyal to one another please you have to come back PES is our chasing Hashem and saying please you have to come back it's our night of akas we it's our night of Dasa we know you're here we believe in you you're our father and we're chasing after you have to come home it's the same night as Tish because PES is the antidote it's the repair to Tish Tish was the damage was the it's what how did we get to Egypt to begin with P celebrates our leaving Egypt well how did we get to Egypt they sold ysf into slavery which is I mentioned yesterday again the and the r why do we e carass at theer table the word kpass comes from konim the colored coat of ysf and what did they do with the Cod of ysf when they sold him into slavery and they went to the father what did they tell Yakov where was Yosef what happened to his coat they dipped his coat in blood so we take carpass and we dip it in saltwater and we begin our seder by remembering how it all began before we can talk about leaving Egypt we've got to remember how we got to Egypt and the way we got to Egypt was and the way we'll leave Egypt is is is and that's why at the we make this affirmation this Proclamation our home our shabas table it's open to anyone I don't care what you look like what you believe who you are how you live how you our our shabas table is open to any Jew I love all Jews because I dip the carpass and I invite anyone who wants to come and I remember that if got me into Egypt and I want to leave Egypt the only thing that's going to help me leave Egypt is that's what the night is all about so it appears the same night as Tish how did Tish happen the gamar tells us get the famous story of Tish was the story of Kam and bar you remember the story of Kam and bar where a wealthy man had a banquet had an amazing event and he invite the whole Community he didn't invite the whole SCH he only invited his friends and he made a mistake on the invitation Kam bar and the wrong person came it was his enemy who came when the he said realized his enemy was there he said you have to leave and the enemy said look for me to leave now it's embarrassing it's humiliating everybody this is the event of the Year I'll pay for my own way and the host said no you're my enemy I don't even if you pay for your own way you're out of here said I tell you what I'll pay for everyone I'll pay for the whole event I'll tell you could come to my weddings anytime if they make that offer said I'll pay for your whole event just let me stay it's humiliating and the host said no you're my enemy I don't care what you offer in the world you're out of here and he sent them away and as a result this individual to certain actions that ultimately brought about the destruction of the Jewish people the destruction of thean how did it all began with baseless hatred so says how did Tish come about because of a lack of an invitation a disinvitation a rejection of a person so how do we repair we sit down at our seder table and we invoke Tish at the Seder by saying if bar is what launched the whole thing then our table is open and welcome and inviting to anyone and everything wherever you are politically religiously and so on how does that paragraph end we say whoever's hungry come and eat we love even those we don't like everyone has room at my table and only once we extend that invitation how do we end the paragraph right now we're here Inon right now we're here where do people go all over the world these days I'm in uh Greece right now I'm Cara right now I'm in I don't know where people go Moscow right now um next year because I've invited anyone and I'm doing and I'm repairing the damage of therefore that's gonna bring the G next year we're gonna be in Israel so like I said it's a very direction we talk about as a very religious experience you have to walk away you're on fire with hem you feel his presence you defer to him you submit to him you love him you cling to him and all that's very very very true but comes and says you know where the proof is whether you've achieved all that are you more patient are you more kind do you make space for people that you like have you learned to love even those you don't like are you part of one family because you want Hashem to come back to the house then you need to have it was the Mitzvah that got us out of MIT and it's the Mitzvah that will bring us the Gul in the future can we live with unity can we connect we prove our faith and our love for Hashem by the way we treat his other children and so I pray and I hope that when we sing Manana we'll be able to answer not what has changed and hopefully what will change will be not only an increased faith in Hashem but an increased love of our fellow Jew which will bring the this SU