Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayeitzei, 5782) - When He Feels Far Away, He is Closer Than Ever

good morning and boca welcome back to partial perspectives for today it is so incredible to see more and more of you so grateful that you've made your way back help yourself to some coffee refreshments in the back and a big and special thank you to our generous sponsors of the partial series for the year dear friends becky and i'll be cats and family in memory of david grossman in memory back his father initially this morning's parshashir is also in particular sponsored by lester and judith henner mark on the earth side of igan henry yitzchak benjako beloved father lester honor harold willa from three ben benjamin although father julie henner grandfathers of benji and del diana yoni and voter hannah and great grandfathers as well thank you for that sponsorship and by ben and dina isaacs you know linda isaac ben and dean isaac's 32-year old son of benjamin isaacs on the fifth of kiss like tuesday november 10th and lastly by sylvia someone's got to pay for the refreshments in the back by 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to text the phone number two two eight two eight but r e g text reg to two two eight two eight and you will get the partial perspective notes in your inbox each and every week big thank you to matthew miller my friends who writes them up deeply appreciative to them so if you'd like to have the notes on the ideas that we share simply text reg happen to be my initials r e g i mean eg are my initials r is not it's not born with that initial r reg text reg to two two eight two eight page one forty four pashas as we always do we pick up where we left off last week yaakov it should recognize text reg to 22828 you don't need a whole phone number reg just put in 22828 the letters are as in rabbi e as in ephraim g as in goldberg r-e-g to 2-2-8-2-8 and you will be signed up you will get a link to sign up for the newsletter yakov yakov is on the run jakob is fleeing jakob is running for his life he has just deceived his own brother and he is on the run from him by the way my i have a great chat with my brother and brother-in-law and uh because they're both exceptional people often they're idi ray tori exchanged and my brother-in-law brought up and my brother said he was bothered by it too and last week's parashah give you a little bonus from last week's parashah when rivka sends yakov on his way and says you better run because your brother's going to be after you you better hit the road because of what happened what does rifka say to yaakov first of all the end of last week's pasha yaakov comes back to you it's like to get a broken before he goes the torah leaves out very curiously did he it's like say what happened yaakov you fooled me you tricked me what happened it leaves it out we don't know but when rifka warns yaakov that he should go what does she say to him she says you better go because your brother's going to come after you for what you did to him i mean what you did to him if you're yaakov you say hello ma you orchestrated the whole thing this wasn't my idea i didn't plan it maybe i performed it i executed it but this whole thing was your concoction so rifka's like look you better run i had nothing to do with it but you know what you did to your brother well you did to your brother you better get out of here why does rifka frame it as what you did to your brother rather than taking responsibility she was the one who through prophecy knew that yaakov was the one that is a little bonus question from last week's question so yaakov is on the run vayetze yaakov and everybody knows the famous rashi that begins parashars vayetzev why does the torah begin by telling us why do we to know where he exited from why do we need to know where is the departure gate we all need to know where he's going to we know where he's leaving from so rashi tells us it is entirely gratuitous you don't have to tell us where he left from just house where he's going to lama so why do we tell us where he's living when a righteous person lives in town you feel their righteousness the energy of that righteous person it permeates the entire community you don't have to be interacting or talking or be in the same room with them but simply to know they're there when you know that righteous person lives among you when you know they're in your community that elevates that raises the entire level of the community and say when the righteous person leaves when they leave even because they leave this world to the next where they leave they make aliyah where they leave there's nowhere to go from boca other than aliyah so those are the two choices either you're going to the next world or aliyah those are the only two legitimate places to go from boko haram but when a person leaves vayetze and leaves eroshim so the commentaries jump and they ask yeshiva of taurus ms in london he says what do you mean i don't understand avraham and yitzhak also departed also left places they migrated they moved around why didn't the torah make this observation when it came to avraham in itzhak why specifically when it comes to yaakov do we mention vayitzayakov oh sadek leaves erosion there's a loss of the impression of the splendor of the light that the sadhuk had eighth lavrov out of rosham avram retired from being a russia shiva avram was the rabbi of the shul for many many many many decades he had an influence he had an impact he transformed you don't think they made him an enormous retirement party you don't think that they celebrated all of his contributions as they helped him on his way it's obvious of course when avraham left and made erosion and made an impression it's obvious everybody knew it yet built an altar he too taught he too influenced yitzhak also spoke and had an impact on others so it's obvious when avraham left it had an impact it's obvious when yitzchak left it had an impact it's obvious why was it not obvious that yaakov leaving would have an impact because yaakov didn't have a big shul and he wasn't a big resha shiva and he wasn't a big orator public speaker yaakov had yeshiva he sat and he learned all day there was a little basement there was a little library and yaakov found a little corner there and he kept to himself all day long yaakov wasn't preaching and teaching yaakov wasn't a rosh hashiba rama rebbe yaakov wasn't a rav or a diamond yaakov sat and he learned torah so you might have thought that this the yoshi of allah the one who sits in learning it doesn't make a rosham who cares that that guy left kolel what difference did it make all he was doing was sitting and learning taking from the community being supported by others what difference does he make that he's no longer learning in your community you might have thought there's no roshan so that's why the finish that's why specifically here yakov that's who leaves makes a rosham i this sadaq wasn't a big orator wasn't a big speaker didn't lead programs didn't lead missions to israel didn't lead trips wasn't a dying it wasn't a rush of shiva he sat and he learned in the corner of the room the answer is yeah the quiet person who's sitting and learning torah is holding up the community we don't realize we don't realize i'm very lucky in some ways unlucky but lucky and i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else i love teaching torah it is my life it gives me joy it energizes me what a privilege and what a gift it's unbelievable it's unbelievable i don't remember if i said it in the parachute recently but i had read a quote from another person who speaks often a popular speaker today and someone said to them you know i'm jealous of you but you teach so much story you inspire so many people he said my old i have no idea what my old habba has in store maybe yours is greater but you should be jealous of my olam haza be jealous of my life and my lifestyle in this world i get to sit here swarmed share none of its mind to share the torah of so many other people such inspiration such messages it's unbelievable so we know the people their faces are in the magazines they're promoted they're features they're recorded they're streaming online you hear them in person we packed the place for hashem what about the the person sitting in the corner of the basement nobody's even sure his name but he's sitting there learning quietly to himself is he making contribution is he making a difference that's what the shot is here in the know that it's not always the person in the spotlight who's the one who's holding up the community sometimes it's the anonymous almost invisible person that's underappreciated and under noticed but who's sitting there and learning torah and that learning of torah is a powerful merit for the community that rosham that impression that they're leaving on the community of learning torah never minimize never underestimate never fail to appreciate those who are learning torah whether full-time and supported or whether someone who has a profession but ekes out time in the morning and in the night and is in the basement they're not a big personality they're not the magnetic personality they're not standing on the chair rah-rah raj shall show us sitting in the corner learning they're also making erosion sheep of ponovich he says you know what else the difference is you might have thought yitzhak leaving what rosham did it make what loss was there you know who was still there his parents yitzhak and rivka were still there he still had very righteous people there so what did it matter that yaakov moved on you still had the individuals from whom yaakov himself drew his greatness they were still there so says there are shivapanas said still his leaving diminished the community the light was dimmed a little bit inspirational people the role models the righteous men and women of the community they each put off their own light and when they leave because they either leave the community or leave this world the dimmer is turned down the light is diminished we miss and we long for the light that they have and that's the there were other righteous people who remained yet remained but still yaakov not being there that had a big that had a big impression next ra the um measures gracious rabbi on these words we're going to get past the first pasok i promise you so the first pasta still jakob it's one of the popular ones to say when we are in need of a salvation of yeshua srila mala whether it means that yaakov anticipated or that this is simply or metaphorical yaakov actually compose the capital i understand that is the one who later wrote it until him but says the madrish that yaakov when he prayed when he daven on the road and on the run fleeing for his life what did he say i saw a night i raised my eyes to the mountains he said you know when my grandfather sent out eliezer to go find a wife for my father to go find my mother he sent to eliether eliezer with great wealth with great riches got to close the up today you know how many carrots clarity carrots clarity cut is that it did i miss it color color clarity cut carrots so eliezer avraham says the four c's k's whatever you spell it you gotta go out you gotta impress if you're gonna close the up you gotta have some the bracelet and the ring there's all kinds of unwritten rules today i don't know where they come from but they bankrupt you so you gotta go and you gotta come with the goods so yaakov says to himself how in the world my mother and father just said you better run your brother's gonna get you go get married start your family because how am i gonna start my family i don't have anything i don't have a penny i'd have nothing i can't buy a ring what am i going to do so a science he raises iceland mountains and he said i have no diamonds i have no gold i have no silver i'm going to have no shirt nope but that's the wrong thinking because my help comes from hashem hashem is the creator of heaven and earth i shouldn't panic and i shouldn't fear and i shouldn't worry so the question is this is what he's worried about money yaakov the most righteous yaakov avina the greatest who is the perfect combination of the best of an avraham yaakov who's the real progenitor of our people banay israel and this is what he's worried about cut color clarity and carrots that's what he's worried about so says review he says you know why yaakov said i need the goods because as righteous and as virtuous as yaakov was he was also a realist and he was also grounded in this world and he also learned from his father and grandfather who had incredible faith unprecedented and unparalleled faith but yet understood that right next to simultaneous our amuna and bitachon must be hashtagless we have to put forth our effort we have to do our part so he said to himself what am i going to do i can't do my establish i don't have a job i don't have an income i'm running for my life i'm fleeing i don't have any money so what am i going to do i need to do establish it's not the jewish way to sit back passively and say god take care of it we take initiative we act we do that is the legacy of an awful yitzhak yakov knew it not to be a passive spectator not to have a false or fraudulent faith in god we have to do initiative that's what hashem tells the jewish people when they're stuck between the rock and the hard place when the egyptians are pursuing them the yam stuff is in front of them and he says mata take a lie what are you doing stop and run don't talk to me go do establish you have to take initiative so yaakov says where is my health going to come from i don't have a job i don't have any income i don't need family with me i don't have any money sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where you say i'm willing and i'm prepared i'm ready to take every initiative i can but there's nothing more to do i've seen every doctor i've done every test i've eaten i'm even eating kale even eating can i'm doing everything i can i'm taking every initiative that i can what's left to try to do so one could become despondent hopeless and helpless follow yaakov yaakov says even when it looks like there's no initiative to take israel he made the heaven and earth and he could turn heaven and earth upside down and he could create opportunities and avenues and venues that i can't even see right now so the establish the next initiative or act i meant to do that i think the doors are all closed there's no next move there's always the next move when you realize hashem when you realize that hashem is absolutely in charge when we live with him there's always a next move so it's not that yaakov aveeno what is he so materialistic yaakov avinu he's supposed to be so righteous such as he's worried about the ring and the jewelry and the and the bracelet and the gift for the room and the ceremony and the list goes on and on he's so worried where is he going to give it all no yaakov understands and this is the jewish way we have bhitakhan and we have to vegas we cling to hashem but we also have to take our establish ah you might think when you run out of establish when you run out of moves you're done you're never done the ribbon of shalom can create new moves and new opportunities because he is the osa shamayim of he is the one who's in charge i told you we'd get on past the first passage next possible he encounters the place he spent the night there the sun had set he took the stones he arranged them around his head we all know the rashi you could listen we've spoken about the second for many many years previous pasha shiram are all online you can hear what we said i'm trying to share with you all new material this year so the stones gathered they formed one they fought they became one this is an illusion a hint to the shvatim and the akolao we have our differences but we can also belong to all simultaneously and we can overlap we can live in all of them what is a very strange language he encountered god look at the arts girl translation yaakov encountered god what does that mean he bumped into he stumbled he tripped on god what do you mean he encountered doesn't say god it says makom it says the place so what does that mean this is one of the names of god macomb how do you know it's one of the names of god where else do we see it a shiva call somebody's saying shiva at least ashkenazim have the customer saying if somebody is ill we also invoke kamako may the makkah may god bring you a refusal ima may god bring you comfort and solace and strength what else do we say we're talking about god why do we use that name where else do we see it see it it says we just read it at the end of the precious vajra that avraham traveled three days for the ake that he brought his son to slaughter him and tell us there is not only he saw the place where he would perform the akedah he saw the place the makka merahok god so makkum is a name for god and here yaakov stumbles upon god he encounters god in fact this is one of the words for davanang the akushimani has 13 synonyms for davening vitsur pagiya reena phila shava takazaka there are 13 synonyms in tanakh 13 different verbs we use for the one word that we have in english called pray if we have 13 synonyms it means they're not all the same and that's why we study we learn the entire safer you could listen to it online the shiram shahar midfielder with pinkis that's all wrote a beautiful say for based on yaakov there are 13 synonyms for prayer each one is a different form of prayer we pray differently in the hospital at the bedside of someone terminally ill then at the bedside of a woman about to give birth we pray differently when we've heard wonderful news than when we're desperate desperate for salvation each feel is different so there are different forms of models or archetypes it's the and the yaakov chamonix gives us no less than 13 and that beautiful say for sharing but fila which i believe has been translated now into english spells the 13 out and one of them is pagia we learn from yaakov avinu there's a format filler called pagia what does it mean you put out but salvation says the following the paradigmatic figure who found hashem despite his transcendence is the navi even though hashem felt so far away so distant so inaccessible found him why for yeah did he feel so far away where did he come it wasn't in the basement did not prophesy in the land of israel where was he he was in baval he was experiencing the darkness and the persecution and the oppression and the tragedy and the loss of the babylonian exile he was in buffalo he was in with ubisoft rights he was in a concentration camp in the midst of the bitter babylonian exiles as the very first possible old seyfriend says he was among the captives on the river was tortured he was persecuted he was torn and ripped with the jewish people from our sacred basal migdash from our homeland from our holy place and it was brought to baval and despite that despite the hasta paunam hashem felt hidden it was a hester upon him it was the first holocaust before our showa they were lost of an estimable amount the loss of the base of the golis bavel and living through this he's living and he like all around him are wondering where's god doesn't god love us does he want us to suffer does he want us to be in pain where is he and why isn't he saving us and why isn't he preventing us he was living through a period of hesterpunam of the hiddenness of god and yet despite that and with that the heavens opened up the navi says and saw a vision of god and what does he announce blessed is the glory of hashem mimikomo from his place what does from his place mean it means when it feels like his place is far away from my place i'm over here in this suffering in this turmoil i'm over here in this torment and mimikomo from his place which feels like it's far away right now i still i could still bless hashem i see him and i feel him i lean on him and i rely on him i protest him but i'm still grateful to him mimikomo even though he feels like he's far away so suggestion of salvation the word makkum as a name for hashem applies when hashem feels like he's far away when we're struggling but we need to know that even then we can find him even then we can find him sometimes then we most find him because that's when we most need him sometimes it's only when we're broken do we break through to perceive him to find him and that's what the raw says that's hashem says take your son your only son the son through whom i've promised you you're going to build a legacy bring him on top of the mountain and slaughter him from alvin says that's it swallow him it's hard to see how that makes sense he saw hashem but it felt like he was far away four sons everybody thinks all four of their children are but sometimes one of them is a russia attack and you say hashem you feel so far away why am i going through this challenge with my child why aren't they falling in line why aren't they following my legacy why am i struggling with them in school socially academically hashem malcolm you feel so far away even then we could say barach saw him even though hashem felt so far away so lastly here too mccomb jacob is running for his life he's fleeing he says i just want to sit in the basement i just want to sit in the corner of the basement hashem learning with you i just want if i bring with you i just whenever comes that's with you i just want to dive into you i just want to break my teeth on the toasters and i can say something to see this with you would i have to run for my life i have no money my brother's trying to kill me i'm gone from my parents and i don't have whatsapp because i don't to from or it hasn't been invented yet but i can't even speak to them or video conference with them i'm all alone in this world i'm all alone i have no money i'm on a run for my life hashem you feel so far away and even there vaifka bamakom he encountered hashem from that place my dearest friend sometimes we're in that place that hashem feels so far away he feels so hidden we wonder where he is or why he's doing what he's doing and we need to know that we come from a tradition we have a messora from our parents and our grandparents many of whom walked out of the of the shadows of the holocaust they walked out of absolute gehenna on earth and they found hashem even when he felt far away and we can too avraham sees them yes sees him in the exile yaakov finds him when he's running for his life that is the notion of macomb the katsuker says we have to look for him you know what else we're saying kedusha aye mccomb claudio so we usually read it aye mekong koda where is the place of his glory says the qatskur i love scottska it was worth your coming today not just for the coffee in the water but for this cutscore kotzker says aye me come clodell you know macomb podes you want to know where is the place of his glory aye when you ask where is he when you look for him when you live aye where is he i'm looking for him aye where are you hashem i'm looking everywhere i want to feel you everywhere when you live asking aye makam koto you found the place of his glory hashem doesn't expect us to find him he expects us to see search and seek and look for him and when you look for him you found him finding him is the act or the process of looking for him that is finding him okay vaishkav he put his head down he went to sleep in that place says this was the first nap he had in 14 years 14 years he hasn't taken a schluff in 14 years he didn't stop someone said what are you doing i haven't stopped i haven't stopped i've been in motion for 14 straight years i gave it russia several weeks ago but the phenomenon of describing ourselves as busy busy crazy busy always busy i'm so busy i'm crazy busy i think i think i mentioned in the past year that was the dust that the angels in the form of men were bringing into the house that adam kicking up dust the obsession and the addiction to busyness that's avodah zarah wash your feet before you come in here slow down life but stop pretending you're so busy so yaakov is so busy what's he been so busy with he hasn't been able to take a nap he hasn't slept in 14 years 14 years he hasn't slept why not he's been in the yeshiva weber he's been learning he's been stagging he's been sitting and learning for 14 straight years he hasn't stopped to take a nap he didn't stop for one moment says rashi now he left the yeshiva finally he stops and he takes a nap the question is he was learning the yeshiva his parents just sent them out and they said run for your life your brother's gonna kill you because of what you did to him and where should you go what should you do go to what go get married he stops for 14 years to learn what happened i keep another aim went up and listening to your parents parents said go get married go immediately go meet the shahranim go sign up on whatever website go network or hang out the wells apparently that's where everybody gets married go do what you need to do but go get married so instead of getting married he's on his way to meet the shotgun he passes the basement of ever and he says let me just stop i missed one block gemara let me just learn for one hour 14 years later he leaves the basement okay i'm not going to say any comments 14 years later he's supposed to learn for one year 14 years later he leaves the basement so what happened what happened to keeper what happened to the promise that he made to his father so zaydal epstein quoted him last week the manal of the yeshiva of torah or he says the following he says yaakov stopping and learning for 14 years that was part of getting ready to get married that wasn't an interruption to getting married that wasn't being disobedient or dismissing his parents charge to go get married in order to be ready to get married he wanted to sit and learn for 14 years now why do you need those 14 years to sit and learn so he also quotes this fort zaytle epstein but your riakov and emmaus liakov also says this this i did say previously because i think it's important why did why did yaakov he needed 14 years in yeshiva whose home did he just come from what yeshiva was he in all of his life until now for 60 plus years he's been learning in the basement of of yitzhak now he needs to stop and learn the best veggies of ever after he was in the basement and they both say say it's a very different place manager yitzhak is the basement of wholesome clarity comfort security safety the basement of shaver is a place of how do you get ready to go integrate into the world how do you bring the values of torah how do you bring the values of hashem into the workplace into the street into the supermarket into the gym into the world ever was a person who had to live through a period of upheaval and chaos he was exposed to moral corruption and depravity so yitzhak was a cocoon the best meadows yakov had grown up in was a cocoon it was protective he wasn't exposed to the world you're getting ready to go live with a lavan you're going to marry lovan's daughters and you're going to go live with a love on you need 14 years in the yeshiva of avir you need to learn how to live with a trickster how to live among corruption how to navigate and guide through a world you need to learn how to be a bentora for life you need to learn how to be a bentora for life okay he wakes up from this dream let's keep going he wakes up from this dream pasak says moving along he's sleeping he has a dream by the way i'll just leave this to you as a question because i have thoughts i saw a measure for the first time this year it says the angels of god are going up and down bow translate the word bow on it what's it so the simple understanding always was one of the angels ascending and descending on the latter but the measure says not bo is not the latter olympia or dimbo is yaakov they're ascending and descending anyakov there's a drush in there i'm still looking for it i have some ideas we are supposed to be the platform for the angels we are the medium we are the vehicle through which the angels interact in this world they should ascend and descend on us i'm not ready yet to present it to you i'm thinking about it but i present it to you to think about too with me and let me know your suggestions but it's fascinating right olivia or dimbo the word bo can mean the latter or the word bo could mean yaakov himself ascending and descending from yaakov so he has this dream we all know the dream what's the significant the bridge of heaven and earth that he wakes up he says i didn't know hashem was here maybe i would never have gone to sleep hashem i don't even wow i thought god was only in the basement i thought god was only in the shul i didn't realize that i can find him in the world too ah yay if i look for him makom klodo i can make the place of his glory wherever i am i had no idea i had no idea so back to the cutscore i told you i got this beautiful safer from my friend mendy it cuts ms says the katsuko the following you want to know the difference between a jew and a naju i wouldn't frame it that way i'd frame it you want to know the difference between a righteous person and an unrighteous person yaakov when yaakov wakes up there are two options you wake up you jump out of bed to go learn in a daven to constructively contribute to the world so he wakes up he gets out of bed and he says wow that was a great dream well it was a great schluff wow am i energized i can't wait to go daven i can't wait to go learn can't wait to go okay what does power do when he wakes up he woke up and then you know what he does snooze back to sleep yaakov wakes up and he jumps out of bed ska bakari lama la boca the shachanak begins the very first doesn't record nice ideas is not a tony robbins motivational talk this is the law and the law is jump out of bed roaring like a lion that's the halacha don't do this 15 times and don't turn over 14 times don't have three people have to come wake you that's not the luck jump up and out of bed like a lion like a lion greet the day like a lion yaakov you see the contrast says the katskar between the way that yaakov wakes up to greet the day and between the way para wakes up para wakes up snoozes back to sleep by the way his dream was so disturbing paro that when he wakes up he gets an interpreter he goes through a whole list of litany of interpreters none to satisfaction until yosef comes he was so bothered by the dream so jarred he's so so shaken by the dream that he needs an interpreter but he's not so shaken that he doesn't first go back to sleep so power wakes up just a few more minutes just a few more snoozes just a little more sleep yaakov wakes up and he says ah roars like a lion to go oh yeah hashem let's go let's go hashem i'm ready let's go moda so wait i'm so grateful to be alive let's go says the cut skirt you see the difference between the way yaakov wakes up and the way that para wakes up so he wakes up and he builds him at seva and he names the place and then he makes a deal with god let's make a deal it's time for let's make a deal hosted by yakuba but god i had such a good dream about you yeah you promised me like my father my grandfather you'd be with me now i had a good dream and now i woke up feeling your presence so here's the deal god you ready god let's make a deal here's the deal here's the deal emi yellow kim in madi if i feel that you're with me and i feel that you accompany with me you guard me you protect me i feel you're in my life god give my kids shidduchim have everyone in my sphere be healthy give me a parnassa let me drive as nice a car as my neighbor then assange i want to be able to wear the same fashion i want to dress my kids and all the expensive designer clothing i want to make sure i get the bracelet the ring with the carrots and the clarity and the color and the cut and if i have all that the shafty bachelor on the base v and i can return home comfortable i can return home happy i can return home wealthy i can return home with everything then i ask lila kim then i'll make you my god what do you say god how's that for a deal you take care of everything i want everything i need everything i long for everything i hope if you take care of me god i'll take care of you let's make a deal god you want to be in my life here's how you could be in my life i will have you in my life by ali kim you'll be in my life and you'll be for me a god here's the deal if what if you do all these things for me what kind of let's make a deal with god what kind of let's make a deal with god so we're not going to deal with that question we've dealt with it previously is he really making a deal this is a promise it sounds like a deal what's really going on we've dealt with it previously listen online but i want to raise a different question yaakov was already promised by hashem hashem said i got your back stick with me stick with me young man i've got your back he was promised all's going to be well and good you're going to come home you're going to have a family you're going to build the family it's going to be amazing so why is he dabbling if hashem said you got it you're all promised it's all good to go why is he dabbing received the promise that all of his dreams and aspirations would be answered sarah came up and so we have to understand so why when he's offering a sacrifice says not only does it seem to be rude or offensive that he's challenging god by let's make a deal but it's even more so it's even more so you tell your child here's the deal i'm going to buy that thing for you or i've got back i'm going to take you on that trip and they say you know let's make a deal or i want you to promise or i want you to write in a contract so i'm your father what are you talking about telling you i'm going to do it i'm going to do it you're showing that you're worried you're expressing the doubt whether i'll follow through and do what i promise is in fact disrespecting the whole relationship so how could yaakov disrespect hashem by inserting any sense of doubt hashem let's make a deal hashem already made a promise so the great mashiach he says yaakov is teaching us this appears in the mayor and is a torah he says he the says was teaching us a very important principle which is the power of tfilo that is because even when there is a storehouse that's filled with blessing for us the key to open it and the key to access it is davening so even when hashem has made that promise yaakov says i accept that you made a promise i believe that you've set aside these blessings for me but in order to access them in order to receive them in order to transfer those blessings into your account is davening the power of tefila and he wakes up and he offers a carbon and he says hashem is clearly understanding as many do but it's not a condition it's not let's make a deal with god that it's a feel it's a prayer he's offering a prayer tasha mashem i want you in my life and this is the ways in which i need you in my life and i'm hoping you'll come through and give me these things in my life and he's not worried that hashem is going to say buddy what are you wasting your words in your breath i already promised you he's saying this is so meaningful to me this is the conversation this is the communication this is the expression of faith this is how you open the storehouse i've said it a million times i'll say it a million and one because the mushroom that i think about when i try to understand this in that safer i told you sh fila the thinkus and the introduction of the safer talks about this also that fila is the key that opens the shepherd bracha just like in precious gracious says hashem created the whole world he created the whole ecological cycle saturation moisture water clouds and the fact that they would turn into rain it was all there but he didn't press start he didn't press go okay because man had not yet been created so rashes says so what says there was no one to ask for it so even though it was all there and it was all ready to go it couldn't be set in motion until somebody asked so the biggest talks about knockdown and the introduction to that say for midfield why why did hashem create a world such as that so i think about that as winning the lottery even when you've won the lottery and you're holding the winning ticket you gotta turn in the ticket to get the winnings you can't simply feel just because i have the ticket now the money's in my account you've got to still turn in the ticket tefillah is our turning in the ticket there are all kinds of winnings that we have hashem he has all kinds of blessings he has an abundance of blessings waiting for us but he's waiting for us to ask do we not relate to that with our own children do we not have incredible kindness and generosity we want to show them but we want them to ask why because we're egomaniacs because we're so self-centered because we're so arrogant and power-hungry we say kendall my closet is filled with presents kinder luck my bank account is filled with guilt i want to give you on hanukkah or trips i want to take or send you on or dinners i want to be able to host you for but i'm not giving it to you until you ask you know why power trip ego of course not parents say because i want that relationship i want that connection i want you to feel a bond so i want you to ask i want you to appreciate i want you to feel grateful because that's what we felt from our parents and that's our responsibility to teach and to transmit humility and gratitude so we say i have all kinds of broccoli you need to ask i'll give you the most basic form do we not hold out a little piece of chocolate a piece of candy to the child and they want to grab it we say ah what's the magic word please may i have the candy please can i have the chocolate what are we egomaniacs arrogant crazy people they can't have it until they say please can i have it no we're trying to teach you say please you say thank you you show gratitude you express courtesy courtesy sorry bonus that even though it's been promised the blessings the lottery winnings are there the chocolate and the candy hashem's holding it he says just ask please and i'll give it to you but i'm not going to give it to you until you say please so we dab and we say please three times a day we say please we borrow i know you have bracha i know you have blessings ready for me and my family please please i'm ready i'm waiting please share them moving right along so yaakov began towards the land of the easterners he looked up and there was a well always a bear always a bayer oh well oh well it's there was a large stone a large rock on top of the well and everybody was gathered around it and it was the middle of the day comes and he says hey brothers a hippie how do you know yaakov was a hippie because he calls him brothers hey brothers hey brothers where are you from they said we're from kharan so he says you know yeah we know shalom oh yeah he's doing well and here's his daughter rachel she's coming with the flock so he looks at these shepherds and he says hey brothers you see that sun it hasn't set it's not five o'clock what are you doing day's not over get back to work you're getting paid for a day's work now if i'm the shepherd what do i do i punch alcove in the nose if i'm the shepherd i say i met you three seconds ago you're giving me muscle you're rebuking me you're coming at me how could it be you're giving me you're giving me muscle so so um what do you see from here why was yakov able to do it without getting punched in the face because he first called the makai he said you're my brother he made a connection he made a bond he had a unity he said we're brothers i'm your brother you're my brother and when you create a platform and a foundation that we're brothers that i care about you now i can point out something i think you should be doing but when all i do is reject and rebuke and criticize and complain but i haven't introduced it first with acha that we're brothers then you can't get away with it yaakov says here's another question for you i'm sharing deborah torah and today i'm sharing i'm throwing at you some questions for you to think about here's another question i saw i'm not going to share the answer i want you to think about it we know now the text tells us that all these shepherds can't lift the stone from the top of the well but yaakov sees rocco he says she's the one for me and he musters this enormous strength he has this adrenaline rush and he's able to lift the rock the stone all by himself yaakov is incredibly strong if yaakov is so incredibly strong i wonder why didn't he express the strength stay home and fight asaph why is he worried that isa is going to defeat him why is he worried ace is going to kill him yaakov is a superhero tara's opened his shirt he's got a big why he's a superhero he's able to lift that rock he has this adrenaline rush yaakov the superhero comes out of the phone booth and he saves the day and rachel marries him and they live happily ever after so for that moment he's able to muster that strength for that moment he's able to find that superhuman strength where was that superhuman strength when alifaz comes to kill him ace of sun when he gives him all his money we have several stories in the torah where yaakov seems sort of meek and passive what happened to that adrenaline rush where is that strength when does yaakov choose to use the strength he has the power with great power comes great responsibility so when does jakob choose to use the power and when does he not use the power he was able to use it here why didn't he use it in the other cases or the other circumstances as as well okay that is the question for you so he gives them this muscle yosef kahanamin was the one who said look at that word that is the answer to your question he doesn't get beaten up because he first says you are my brothers and that is what protects him that is what protects him okay keeping an eye on the clock today it's a new day okay moving right along so yaakov meets rachel he's very smitten he's very taken by her and he goes home with her to meet to meet lovan and when you know the whole story is he kisses her he cries and he learns who she is and they go and they tell her father love and ears and he greets him we have the whole story unfolding go to perak test possibly dying chapter 29 verse 17 page 150. now we're introduced to the love on stevens love and has two daughters shay magdale the older one is leia the younger one is rachel and there's a lot of literature in halakha believe it or not about can a younger sibling get married before the older sibling must they honor the older sibling by waiting to get married is it we derive it from here must they delay in wait interesting discussions within so two young women layer the older rakh of the younger torino tells us the eyes of leia are rakos her eyes were rakos article translates that they were tender was beautiful a form and beautiful of appearance so leia is depicted here as being somewhat homely leia is depicted as being somewhat unattractive her eyes she's beautiful is a beautiful young lady it's an amazing sofa look at anglos says on the words the eyes of leia are rakos what is uncles right they nailed which means what the eyes of leia are beautiful now rashi says we're much more familiar with that rashi says leia's eyes were were teary they were tender she thought that she was going to be paired with asav she spent her entire childhood crying she was broken she cried all day and all night because she said this is my lot this is my fortune this is my shirakh this will be my partner with whom i grow old these will be my children they'll share his dna she did not stop crying so far points out it's a contradiction never noticed this before it's a contradiction and the one in english translates her eyes were beautiful on the other end we all know the tradition her eyes were ugly because she cried all day they were teary and tender and red her eyes were were unattractive because all she did was cry all day so which is it was she beautiful or did she cry all day so some sofa says listen to this if you gimmel and you'll ask why would the or why moshe's why would he have this insight on the gemara and on the show why not impressions so listen carefully this is fantastic it's not a contradiction leia's eyes were tender from crying and that is incredibly beautiful that leia was so bothered that she'd be with an ace of that's beautiful that's a beautiful thing because many would say asav okay so asap is not the biggest mass man in the class asap didn't win the tadak award the tamakhacham award asap didn't win the bentora der garretts award but ace there's a hunter he's the man you see the kind of car he drives see the clothing he wears when he walks into a room you see the power that he wields so okay that's my fortune that's my lot i'll live with him leia cries she says such a russian marusha sharma room that's who i'm going to be matched with and paired with and live with she can't stop crying says some there's nothing more beautiful than that it's a spiritually beautiful thing to be unhappy and dissatisfied by being exposed to anything less than righteousness so it's very sad for leia we'll talk about that in a moment although thank god for leia turns out pretty well she ends up with yaakov first she ends up with the most children she ends up i've shared this before leia all she wants in the world is to be akov's wife and rachel all she wants in the world is to be a mother and they both in this lifetime seem miserable not to have what they want but if you think about them for eternity for eternity leia is buried right next to yaakov and rachel is in this world neither got what they wanted right away but for eternity both got exactly what they want rachel in perpetuity is she is the mother of the jewish people she is the ultimate mother the ultimate mama and leia for eternities and mars payload yakov not rakha so in this world neither seem to get what they want but for eternity both get exactly what they want so it turned out okay for leia but she didn't know it so she cried she cried because she was spiritually dissatisfied she spiritually had an ambition and a drive that she thought would never be met she thought she was going to end up with asap so she cried and that in itself is beautiful what does that have to do with sukkah what does that have to do with shogunate so for a huge kiddish he says what happens when an s-rogue an asteroid that has a blemish an asteroid that looks worn out is not mahudar it's not a beautiful escort it's not an ideal estrogen it won't sell for a lot of money but what happens if the reason it got worn out is because of its usage says he says writes that an esrog that is a different color before sukis is no good in esro whose color changes on success because of his usage not only is that not no good that's such a beautiful asteroid it's not nearly as pretty but the reason it's not pretty is because it was being used for a mitzvah that is pretty and that is beautiful so leia's eyes were homely because she had cried but the reason she cried is because she couldn't bear to think she'd be with aesop that's beautiful the esrog which is worn out and changed colors not because before circus it was mishandled but because ansakas was used for a mitzvah that is not beautiful it's like a smack another says the same thing on on the lockers of shaving and khalamoid the mishna says that we don't shave on hollow why because in the old days you didn't shave every day you were rushing for the last few days before you entered to get ready and on error of you out of russian to get ready and you didn't have time to shave but he said you know what i'm running in the door from work no time suck it's not ready not not ready i have no time what's gonna what am i gonna cross off the list i can't do right now shave khalamoid i'm not working is so that you don't enter the ant of maneuver so as not to enter the antifa looking unshaven unkept you is that you're not allowed to shave on khalimoid and by not being able to shake my head then you'll shave before the antifa and you'll come into the aunt of looking good so they asked to know to be there because okay but now what about the last days of yontif now you come into the last days of yantef because you can't shave so that you'll shave for the first days but now you come into the last days of kalama of yantef not shaving it says there's nothing more beautiful than looking unshaven because you were honoring the first days of yontif the same is sowed so this in the contradiction uncle says leia's eyes were beautiful translates racosa as beautiful rashi says leia's eyes were ugly she didn't stop crying it's a contradiction sofa says not a contradiction they were ugly from crying but the reason for her crying makes them beautiful it says that some sulfur and asteroid which is worn out and changed colors from its usage for a mitzvah nothing more beautiful being unshaven for the last days of yantef because you wanted to come into the first years of yantiff look and shaven nothing more beautiful i'm much more excited apparently than any of you about this insight but i think it's a fantastic insight with a credible application in the halacha it's really exciting i love it says what do you mean it says that yaakov worked for raqqa seven more years and they went by like a few days it's the opposite when you're excited and looking forward to something i finally today booked my trip to eretz israel december mirzashem can't wait to go i've been in two years it's the longest i've gone since my year in israel not being in israel aside from the fact that i have children and grandchildren in israel i'm desperate to go so excited so it's december it's a month away it's torturous every day is going to feel like a thousand years until i can go so what does it mean that yaakov worked for seven more years and they went flying by like they were a few days what does that mean severely lepian says if you're doing something for you then the time that it takes to get there feels like forever but if what you're doing is for the other person then time flies by even while you have to wait to do it and he gives a muscle he says you know a person says i love fish i love fish i love i love salmon i love uh now what am i thinking what are the sea bass i love sea bass i love fish cesareville go beyond you don't love fish if you love fish you throw it back in the sea you love you that's why you killed the fish and it's sitting on your plate you don't love the fish so when you say i love fish don't say i love fish say i love my stomach i love my boy i love my taste buds fish is what allows me to satisfy my boy and my taste buds didn't love himself i love myself and i really like being around rachel so because i love myself and i want to be around rachel i'll work seven more years but now it feels like forever i love her means i really love her which means that every moment of work that i'm putting in is for her so because what i'm doing is selfless is for her it goes flying by goes flying by when we're doing it for us time goes in slow motion when we're doing it for the other time goes flying by and this is a big insight into marriage it's a big insight into marriage in marriage are we in it for ourselves what we can get out of it is a selfish marriage or is it selfless we love the other is our spouse like a piece of fish i say i love them but i really love them because they are the ones who prepare for me the fish that's why i love them or they earn the money or they take out the garbage or they gave me these children or they make me not feel alone i love them because that what does for me or is it because i love them i love them the love is really about them that's what eliopian says because yaakov loved her not he loved himself and she was a means of how he loves himself he loves her so when we love ourselves time goes slowly when we love the other time can go flying by as it did in this particular making us out of time i'll tell you one other thing we're out of time amish so sad because i wanted to walk you through the whole i will save it for next year but i want to walk you through the whole following you know leia when reuben comes in with the dude ruben collects these something that grows out in the field that has a fertility benefit and rachael says oh that's a fertility drug in it let me have some and leia turns to rachel and says the most absurd thing of all time i got it's not enough that you took my husband now you want to take my flower bouquet and how does rocco respond if i'm rocco you know what i do i punch lay on the nose literally or metaphorically i finally blow it i finally lose it that's the straw that breaks my back because i say are you kidding me i took your husband do you know what i gave up do you know how long i waited do you know how far i went to give this are you crazy are you kidding me does rachel say that what does she say instead she says nothing there's an amazing message that talks about the merit of shrika of saying nothing of being quiet of being sanua of keeping it to ourselves but i'll share with you next year there's a lot of evidence there's a lot of beautiful insights that come out from the fact and the likelihood that leia probably never knew that raja was supposed to go first leia probably never knew how could she never know jakob certainly never told her who else never told her rachel probably never told her that she gave this probably never told her that she really was the number two pick in the draft she probably never ever told her and that's why leia could say that that's why rocco could not react and there's a lot of insights that come out this way so i'll share i'll close just by sharing with you one the next apocalypse says it says so the simple type and simple understanding is yaakov loves rachael more than he loves leia but listen to what i'm as lucha says he says i thank my friend aaron mirza for this what made him fall in love with rachael is from leia from the fact that rachel gave the simon from the fact that rachel never told leia made rachel the most attractive person on earth why did yaako fall in love because of a picture on the resume because of her father's bank account because of the now you know why yaakov fell in love with rachel not more than leia but me leia from the way rakhal interacted with that's what made him fall in love her midos tovos her character her quality her son her sneeze her modesty her humility her unparalleled milaya from what she didn't tell leia that's what made him attracted to her that's what it means to be attractive to others a lot to learn about shidduchim about her about marriage but alas yet again we are out of time text 22828 reg the letters reg to 22828 you'll be signed up to get the partial notes in your inbox as well as our newsletter join us tomorrow morning ten minutes of meeting mr sharon women are invited to living with amuna great coffee and snacks living with the moon 845 in the social law tomorrow we'll go behind the beam with jamie geller and have a fantastic day stay happy stay healthy