Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayeishev, 5785) - Shake it Off

good morning and welcome back to parha perspectives for today we have the the great Merit and privilege this morning of studying together par page 198 in the Arts girl Stone Kish continuing our study of the story of this tremendous narrative that is unfolding as I say every week we know where it goes we know what happens next and yet there is such suspense there's so much to learn and to unpack so much to derive and to extract from these lessons from the paraa for today because the paraa May remain the same but we are different the world is different the lessons that we can take away are different our paraa series is generously sponsored by Becky and aviat and family in memory of davidman our learning is in his memory page 198 and Jakob was living in the land of his forefathers theas theas whose urite was just observed last week the brings the following tells us that Yakov simply wanted some Serenity some peace and quiet all Yakov wanted was no tension no drama no ups and downs B who doesn't want that our world has been so chaotic and complicated and all Yakov wanted and all we really want is some peace and quiet he wanted and when he requested that when he wanted that when hasem perceived that that was what yob wanted was his gold goal he was overcome with Rogue y the whole episode that we're about to see and study the story of ysf being kidnapped sold into slavery left in prison falsely accused all of that and Rashi says sadik are righteous they want to sit in Serenity and tranquility and Hashem says it's not enough that in the world to come there's a special place a special space you'll be able to enjoy you want that not only in the world to come you want that here and now you want that in this world too nah not happening you're not getting it so the exact moment that yov says where's my palm tree where's my Shay's lounge chair where's my pina colada I just want to sit by the pool just want to play a little Maan and Shuff board just want to get in a little tennis and golf BK bva I just want to retire to South Florida and Hashem says Nah Nah life is not about retirement life is not about peace and quiet Serenity and Tranquility there's work to do and when does work when is there breakthrough when do we break through boundaries when is there growth spurt when there's tension as the result of of conflict everybody knows the story of the Pearl the Pearl emerges from the oyster clam oyster there's a tension in the Oyster there's agitation in the oyster and it produces the Pearl the most beautiful Jewels come not from that which is sitting comfortably but when there's ATT tension agitation when a person nevertheless recovers perseveres emerges the Pearl is born so the classic way of understanding Rashi is that Yakov like so many of us reached an age where he said been through enough been there done that all I want is some peace and quiet says nice try not gonna happen you're never done you're never done you never reach that age you'll never have quiet no drama that's not what this life and this world are really all about we're tested we grow we become better we pass it forward but quoting the the simple understanding of was bothered what was wrong with what yov wanted after all do we not say every dayem you fulfill you perform the will of the righteous the the will of those who fear you you do why couldn't answer in the affirmative why couldn't he t let yov live with some peace some Serenity some quiet some happiness some Joy so the he translates he understands Rashi entirely differently you listening I never heard this my whole life always understood Rashi a certain way the Bas understands it entirely differently because tells the med tells us the truth is that it was who originally was destined to descend to Egypt chained the it was the Jewish people had it to get up get to Egypt we'll get to why why did we have to go to Egypt what lesson did we need to learn what experience did we need to have but we needed to spend a little time in MIT in Egypt we had to spend some time in MIT originally says the medish yob was going to bring us down chained yako was bringing us down yako would be in slavery and suffering but instead paid it forward and it wasn't yob it was his son ysf so that when Yakov came down how did Yakov come down with dignity with honor with Glory with a parade and an Entourage and a welcome celebration so no don't read it that yakob wanted to live with peace and serenity and quiet and no drama and Hashem said no that's not the purpose of this world get to work I'm going to test you the basan reads it entirely different yob wanted to andem said okay because hasem fulfills the will of those who fear Him and that's why it's not sarcastic or cynical or a question it's not enough for the righteous that they want reward in the world to come they also want peace and quiet in this world no don't read it as a question sarcastic from Hashem read it the ban says you know Tak it's not enough that the righteous get peace and quiet in the world to come they deserve it here now too so instead of bringing yakob down in Chains Hashem orchestrates and curates and choreographs that it's Ys who comes down who sold and when Yakov comes down he comes down with honor he comes down with he comes down with Glory why do I share it's a f fting reread or reinterpretation of Rashi interesting I never heard it before it's fascinating but it also strikes me and occurs to me that in the moment that sometimes we want and we request and we ask for things for ourselves be careful what you ask for because here Hashem fulfills yakov's request but who suffers instead his son Hashem had to bring about a certain result and yob intervenes intercedes and he appeals to Hashem and he says that result don't bring it down through me Hashem says okay no problem you are righteous I won't do it through you come here yosf you're going to suffer instead had yob known that ysf would suffer instead would he still be so we sometimes don't know and we have to be careful to protect ourselves from ourselves and to ask Hashem Hashem here's the way I see it here's what I want or need here's what I hope it works out but you do you you do what you see is best the way you see is best and sometimes we have to be save we continue also in what do we say you hear you hear our prayers Theos and you save us if you hear our prayers why do we need to be saved if we're being saved did you hear our prayers so commentators say you may recall this from ashra last night we hit sitter snippet number 600 big milestone big miles thank you apparently nobody's as excited as I am but I'm the only one who's heard all 600 so but 600 we're in the end of the all the way back in Ash several hundred Snippets ago we explained why does a why do we have to be saved if he hears us because sometimes be careful what you ask for you wanted that job you Force hashem's Hand you pressure and mucher him you relentlessly beg him he says no problem that job's not best for you and it's going to be a miserable boss and you're going to suffer and it's going to be difficult but here's the job you want that you dve let it go through you work kind it going through 7,000 references interrogations interviews pictures resumees you demanded you asked Hashem you beg to go through be careful so means sometimes he hears our and he saves us from ourselves he doesn't answer positively he doesn't answer in the affirmative for what we're asking because what we think is best for us it's not best for us so that's why it's so important when we dive in to say to Hashem I'm not trying to twist your arm do it my way I'm trying to tell you from my limited finite View and vision this is what I think is best but choice between me and you let's go with you let's go with you you're gonna close this door close this door open another because if that's not the right job that's not the right sh if it's not right for me to Le because instead you're gonna give it to my son I'm gonna suffer through my son you do you let's do it your way Hashem not my way so this new interpretation the Ban's understanding and reading of Rashi inal is interesting because it's very than what we've seen before or how most of us have learned it until now but I also think it's interesting because it's a reminder to be careful what we ask for and how we ask for it and to ask for it with humility and flexibility that Hashem I don't know the great calculation and the Matrix above so from my perspective this is what I think would be best but I don't want to pay it I don't want to pass it off to one of my children so you do what you think is right in the most Right Way in the best way that's what what we ask that's what we ask Theon shom okay next moving right along told so immediately we continue that's what yob wanted and Hashem made something else unfold instead these are the toos what are the toos not the first time we're seeing that word what are toos Offspring progeny outcome these are the toos of yob Yosef is 17 years old when he's a shepherd with his brothers with the flock but H has been a z he's a youth with his sons of B and Sons of zilpa his father's wives and yose had this terrible practice he would bring evil reports he would report negatively about his Brothers to their father now one question I'll pose but we're not going to address it's addressed by many but I'll leave it to you as a question I got to keep you coming back future years a told us Yakov how many sons does Yakov have he's got 12 he 11 till now he's got a lot of sons it's setting it up for a disaster that even the Torah seems to be contributing to the problem yako favors Yosef and the Torah seems to be favoring Yosef right now these are The Offspring of the Great yakob y uh Ru Shimon Ley s aser they're not hi hello yeah what about me they're almost and Dina and each of them was born with a twin a female twin so where's everybody else a told us these are The Offspring where's everybody else where's everybody else we know the way it does not work out well when the family lists the mazl and the weekly and you left out one of the kids doesn't work out well when you take out an ad in the Journal of that organization signed on behalf of the parents some of the children and you leave off one of the kids and here the Torah leaves off all the kids except for ysf and that's how this whole problem begins with because yob favors Yosef and here the Torah seems to favor Yos a told us Yakov these are the progeny The Offspring The continuity of Yakov this is his legacy Yos if he's 17 years old and he's a Shepherd okay where's everyone else where are all the older brothers those who come first I'm leaving that for you as a question but now on the words is a pronoun and he is a n who's he so the simple understanding of the text is who is the n ysf Yosef 17 years old and not 17 years old he still acts somewhat and again it's not me saying this lightning shouldn't strike it's the Torah he's a little bit emotionally immature he's an immature 17 years old he's still reporting negatively he's still tattletail in my family we were told snitches get stitches and Y yose didn't get the memo snitches get stitches we don't endorse violence of course I'm not okay all the disclaimers but you don't tattletail you don't turn in you know siblings could have rivalry siblings could fight siblings can have tension siblings can compete but one Unwritten rule among siblings you don't snitch you don't tattletail you don't turn in you're not Moser no tolerance for that even as parents sometimes we say you know when one child comes to tell on another you don't hold the child a telling about accountable you tell them listen I got to deal with that what they did may be wrong but you you can't you can't turn on your sibling you can't turn on your siing unless it's for their wellbeing to protect them from themselves and so on so so um y vun the simple understanding of the is who's the N ysep comes along the bason car told hisob y a person always need to be renewed and rejuvenated and fresh so he quotes from n here is not a criticism n here is not a statement of immaturity N is a compliment be a what is the word n is to shake off be active be moving be youthful be vigorous be dynamic have energy and enthusiasm in your Y in your life as if today's your first day it's your first time putting on fill first time lighting shabas candles first time opening the sitter first time doing first time learning Pas n be a n youthful curiosity youthful energy youthful vigor for life we mentioned last shabas oura was the Holy student of RAB the great who said what was yob is wrestling and there are a lot of words in synonyms for wrestling why does it use the word dust so tells us the simple understanding is in that wrestling match they kicked up dust when two people wrestle on the ground on the earth they kick up dust they kick up dust but the says no you know what it means you know what the fight was you know what the battle was for this s this Alter Ego of Yakov in the language of ifs internal family systems this part of Yakov it wanted him to just lie down and collect dust the image of dust dust is stillness stagnation when does something collect dust when it just sits when it just sits it's lost its useful usefulness there's nothing nothing in motion there's no growth there's no progress there's no dynamism it just sits and collects dust so this Angel says to yov you're about to reconcile meet your brother he wants to kill you you've got no chance there's no point lay down collect dust you're done you're finished it's over and what's the antidote what's the answer to collecting dust movement dynamism energy enthusiasm activity Vigor and that's what yov does he wrestles he refuses to accept refuses to accept is to shake off shake off that dust refuse to collect dust I don't care what age you are don't collect dust you could be a hundredy old n and you could be a 15y old Zuck you could be a 15y old by the way if you sit at 15 years old and all you do is play video games and you're sitting on your couch and you're collecting dust then you're then you're an old man even at 15 and if you're a 100-year-old who's Dynamic and going active and excited and energized and enthused in the performance of mitzvos and relationships in life then you could stay a even into even into being a 100 years old even into old age V maybe the V is not Ys maybe the V is yov who's the V but Nar says the B Nar here is not a criticism Nar is a compliment L air Shake It Off don't collect dust stay youthful stay active stay busy to be a be a so what's y's problem he brings he has negative reports to the father he's tattling he's a snitch now you yob loved y from all of his sons I'll pose a second question of the day I'm not giving an answer to we saw last week that yakov's name is changed that's not accurate we spoke last week that's not accurate A's name is changed to a s's name is changed to s jakob's name is not changed he's given an additional name he remains Yakov and he also gains the name isra and an important exercise is to go through Torah and see when do we refer to him as yov when do we refer to him as Israel learn to Hill read to Hill when does refer to him as yov and what does he refer to him as when is it yob when is it Israel so here note in describing the favoritism for y it does not say Yakov which I might have expected because as we spoke about last week yakob is the Lesser name the inferior name the the the nonideal name yov so who showed favor to Y it's I would have expected it to be yov why is the Torah here refer to it as is it's question number two I'm not giving you an answer to turn the page and the brother saw that that y was more beloved to their father from all of them so they hated himom and they could not translate the words they could not that part's easy D does D mean to speak what is d Shalom what letter is missing in the word Shalom the V is missing it's a clumsy phrase so tells us in this horrible terrible miserable episode that has created problems that we continue to suffer from until today but at least we see something praiseworthy of the brothers and what's that at least minimally they're not duplicitous they're not hypocritical they don't you know sometimes somebody gives you a hug while they drive the knife into your back to your face they're giving you the hug I love you and the best and kav and you're amazing they're driving the knife the twisting the knife you know those people that you're with them I love you my best friend have the greatest things to say about you but at the shabas table or you know other times they're done exercising into the person they played with at afterwards they're busy talking all about you these brothers at least what you see what you get they're direct they're straight they're transparent they hated y safe and they didn't make any bones about it they didn't pretend they didn't shom they did not pretend to be kind and friendly and loving to his face and then behind his back slam him what you see is what you get they were transparent say flash of it says the way it appears in the Torah look in your there's no in the word Shalom we read it Shalom but how does it appear shom well you see shom shom since since they could not since they were not duplicitous since they weren't fake since they weren't one way with this and another way there therefore it appears the way what you see is what you get it's incomplete even the printing of the word Shalom is not with the the reason you have and a aan exiv here the reason it appears without the V is because they were genuine and honest and that's how they appeared without the V of Shalom they couldn't say shalom they didn't say shalom they didn't act duplicitous or hypocritical they weren't two- faced and therefore it appears without the vki it's not a coincidence we have a here because that's exactly the message as Rashi said that at least they were transparent at least they were transparent but come back to that word d it's a funny word a clumsy word they could not so the points out he shom could have said they couldn't speak with him what does that mean who's the who's Theo it's the second time we're seeing today that the Torah is so beautiful and so open that you can read things so differently who's the Y who's the D it's a simple understanding is that the brothers are incapable of speaking peacefully to Yosef there's just a tension they can't speak kindly nicely it's just there they do not ever present peacefully they couldn't Shalom understood it differently is not how the brothers speak Toom Shalom they could not experience or interpret or absorb that ysep was actually speaking to them B Shalom ysep may have not been doing the right thing by turning them in but all he wants is peace all he wants is to connect all he wants is to be accepted he wants to be one of the brothers because they hated him they hated him and they couldn't you know it's a young person phrase young people said I can't I can't can't finish the sentence you can't what we finish the sentence I can't tolerate I can't accept I can't go there I can't continue the conversation I can't young people just I can't I can't I can't that's the text here I can't they couldn't they couldn't they hated him I can't and what couldn't they what they couldn't was Shalom they couldn't accept that ysf was speaking to them Shalom so it's a whole other way of seeing the D who is struggling Who's d they couldn't speak peacefully to yosf or they couldn't see that yosf was trying to speak peacefully to them trying to speak peacefully to them natans of Nathanson understands this differently and is safer he says what does it mean shom his commentary he says what does it mean sometimes there's such tension such animosity between people such enity enity they're not even able to give a shal to one another they can't be in the room at the same time you know those people it's the hardest part of making a who you can't sit at the same table we wonder why we still don't have a who you can't sit at the same table why because they can't even give each other shom they can't you don't have to be best friends you don't have to go on vacation you don't have to go on the cruise together you don't have to go on the BRS mty has to trip to Panama together you don't have to go chabas meals together but to give a shal you can't walk by and say good chabas you can't walk by and say shalom that's how bad it got that the brothers hated ysf such Venom that they couldn't even give a shom Shalom they couldn't even give a Shalom why what happens over here makes these critical mistakes and he shares hey brothers who can't even look at me and give me shal and hate me so much and keep turning me into you know what let me tell you about my dreams now to say that ysf brought this upon himself is the understatement of the century this is very unwise what yosf does and his father's critical of it don't alienate your brothers you contributed to this whole thing and the brothers answer they hear and what do they answer they hear this dream and what do they say to what are you gonna rule over us you have this whole dream the stalks and the Bowing down then the stars and the what do you think you're G to rule over us you're in charge of us you're going to control us and just when you thought that their hatred couldn't get worse they hated him even more on account of his dreams all of his speech everything that he was saying what is this expression why the double expression why not just say who do you think you are hot shot younger bro you think you're gonna rule over us you're a gorist you're a nothing who do you think you are these dreams what are these fantasies this is what you're dreaming about this reveals what you're thinking about during the day you're subconscious but why not just formulate it you think you're going to rule what's the double language you think you can rule over us when you can't even rule over yourself what's the evidence you can't even rule over yourself you don't even have the judgment to not go tattled to our father you don't even have the judgment to get along with us to not alienate Us by sharing your dreams you can't even regulate and control yourself and your behavior and have good judgment and you think you can rule over us you're not even a m you can't be you can't rule over yourself you think you're gonna rule over us that says is the double language you think you can rule over us when you can't even rule over yourself the brothers are making an accurate criticism it's an acccurate it's a fair response to these dreams you can't be a leader if you can't lead yourself if you can't regulate yourself if you don't have self-control over yourself if you know now leaders aren't perfect I'm in a position of leadership and I'm tell you all the time I'm very far from perfect I can give you a long list of people that you can confirm that with I'm far from perfect far from perfect but a person has to demonstrate self-regulation self- sovereignty that they can practice what they're preaching if you can't practice what you preach stop preaching if you can't Implement in your own life stop telling other people what to do if you can't be a m over yourself then you can't Tim other people and that's what the brothers are saying say listen Brother 17 year old teenage brother first learn to not tattle first learn to not be a snitch first learn to control yourself then you can talk about one day being the senior brother ruling over us but until then first be honest with your yourself and then be honest with others a lot of times people can see all the faults in everyone around them but they fail to see The Fault in themselves first look in the mirror and then hold up the mirror to everyone else first work on yourself and then you could work on others you see this also in the we'll read later that there's a Mitzvah the Mitzvah give rebuke criticism encouragement to others why the language there just say to just say what's the answer if you can rebuke yourself maybe you're in a position to rebuke other people but if you don't ever rebuke yourself you don't take inventory you don't reflect you don't introspect you don't work on yourself you're in no position to to work on other people work on yourself work on other people first rule over yourself regulate yourself then then maybe you'll be in a position to be able to encourage other people why does it say why the double also what's the difference between a and a m a famous villain to go on that but you'll have to look at that on your own too three great questions for your shabas table that you're going to have to come up you got to do some work here people we're not just putting out the coffee and the slushies and the cinnamon buns you got to do some work too so I'm giving you questions that's the third one of the day for you to work on engage be creative connect with the Torah the text not just here to spoon feed so third question for you to think about on your own parag Turn the page so the brothers are incredibly jealous and the father yakob is also rebukes yoseph what are you doing you're my favorite I love you I'm spoiling you but you're not helping yourself here yose what are you doing telling these dreams to your brothers but nevertheless and yob nevertheless what does he do he keeps the matter in mind what in the world does that mean says even though he criticizes yose for sharing the dreams with his brothers he holds on and waits for these dreams to come true because knows that these dreams are not nonsense there's truth to them they're going to they're going to be realized Shamar to be sh is to to wait to wait to anticipate he's waiting and anticipating when are these dreams going to happen What Happens the next part ysep is sent by his father the brothers went to be to Shepherd their father's flock in and notice again we went back to who tells your brothers are busy in go he says your brothers are in are they not come I'm sending you to them and yoseph says I'm in I'll go find them I'll go find them there's a subtext going on here in this whole story we shared it many times before at that moment that yoseph says he I'm here what is think perhaps why is his father sending him a moment ago Yosef is sharing these dreams it's alienating the brothers even more they hate him with greater intensity and all hope seems lost and sometime later sometime later now Yakov not yob says to yose you know your brothers are off they've been doing the work shepherding go check them out go bring them lunch go say hi go see how they're doing and yoseph says oh yeah he n what might Yosef think why is father sending him because it's time to finally be accepted yose is the exception here he's the only brother from this mother right B Yamin but he's the only brother right now from this mother and he's never fully been included he's never fully broken in he's never been one of the brothers in this fraternity of brothers and now maybe he thinks why is my father sending me how is he set this up because this is it the brothers going to welcome me with open arms we're going to have a picnic a barbecue it's finally I'm breaking in you can also maybe from here understand why you also have the opposite problem what's the opposite problem I think the battery might have just given out K also might have the opposite problem and what's the opposite problem when in fact he sees his brothers and the brothers are not there greeting him with a picnic or a barbecue what instead happens to him they want to kill him they throw him in the pit they sell him into slavery now he's languishing how many years 22 why didn't he call Yakov text what'sapp email phone pigeon Courier why doesn't he somehow contact yov now we understand part of the time he couldn't part of the time he's the vice Roy of Egypt why doesn't he dispatch somebody to his father it has been suggested because he thought maybe his father's part of this conspiracy after all what set him out on this journey that ended him in a pit and landed him in Egypt his father said go check on your brothers so when you see it from that perspective he had good reason to think his father was in on this plan and maybe that's why there was this delay and only later does he learn when the brothers come down spoiler alert spoiler alert later when the brothers come down and he's going back and forth and he says tell me again about your father say oh and and he sets up the condition where he holds Benyamin they say we can't do this why not because my father already lost a son he's inconsolable we can't do this to him o ysf now hears my father's inconsolable you mean he wasn't part of the plan you mean he didn't do this it's not his fault he's inconsolable o that affirms to yoseph my father wasn't part of the plan so I know I'm going ahead and I know I'm spoiling but you can understand you're picturing this story unfold ysep is excited here I am I'm ready to go peanut butter and jelly fex what should I bring for the picnic I'm in go check on the brothers and then when he lo and behold finds out what happens there goes that hope and now Begins the suspicion that maybe his father was involved his father was connected these brothers went Leos go back to Bas what do you see over the word s it's not a trick question open the page 202 Top Line what do you see over the word s two dots s s why are there two dots says the reason that you have two dots over the word s is to teach us that you know why they went they weren't shepherding yak of their father's flock why they go to Shepherd themselves they went to indulge themselves they went to go have fun to T make a barbecue maybe they snuck a a bottle from jakob's Liquor Cabinet they went for themselves but how could you say this ask the O is who's the O is the holy op of this is how we speak about the Holy 12 tribes this is how you speak about the Holy 12 sons that they went to make a barbecue they brought a bottle they went to go have fun they went to indulge that's how we speak about the sh impossible says's whole parish is he would never speak negatively about the Shi so he's reinterpreting what's happening here to be able to speak positively about these holy 12 sons about the Holy 12 tribes how does he how does he re understand it to see it positively he says the following what does it mean say does not mean they went to go Shepherd themselves it means that they went to Shepherd themselves not right now when in the future what was going to happen in the future there'd be a famine in Canan a famine in the land of Israel how would they be sustained what would be the only thing that would enable their survival go down to Egypt where Yosef is and ysf is going to give portions to these Brothers to Shepherd themselves it means they went to begin a story that would end with Yosef in Egypt giving them Provisions that would be what sustained them we never know we never understand where we are where we go how we get there why we're there we've been talking in the Amun the notion is we are he brings us to where we go a Jew a yid is never stuck we're never lost we are where we're meant to be we're producing great luggage tags with that logo and that language and a great decal for the windshield when you're driving to look out your car when you're stuck in traffic or a red light you make a wrong turn you are where you're meant to be we are where we're meant to be so we shared Hashem prepares our footsteps where we go is where he leads us so they think they're going to to Shepherd the Sheep you know why they went to to begin the unfolding of a story that would Shepherd themselves they think they're going to shepher the Sheep the flock they're going to Shepherd themselves says the O Isel not in a negative critical way they're going to only care barbecue and a beer bottle no it means we think that we're going hasem prepares our footsteps he leads us he takes us on this journey we don't know why we don't know where but he's the one who's taking us he's the one who's taking us there understands we are the tone of hem they were really shepherding themselves because this would begin The Descent of Y toim which would lead to their provisions and sustaining sustaining them altogether has something on this as well how do you understand this to speak so negatively and critically they went to Shepherd themselves how could it be so he says the following says there are two ways to worship hasem two paths on AEM two approaches the inner approach and using the outside the surface the spiritual way to connect to is Ding and learning in spiritual ritual is but there's another way to connect to hem and that is to transform and Elevate the physical eating drinking business Commerce sleeping we don't bifurcate Our Lives is not the religious experience in Scher when doing a mitzvah and then when you go out and you do the mundane now you're not a religious personality or identity for us and always religious experiences everywhere it's even in the what seems to be the external even within the physical even within the physical if they're done and this was the between remember famous you got to go to work you got to interact in the world you got to be out there you gotta earn an income in a livelihood and pay bills and farm and you got to learn Torah also you got to complement with learning Torah you got to combine got to craft a lifestyle of both who was in the cave exclusively sitting and learning full-time comes out and he says no Torah what's going to be with Torah Kum learning fulltime Torah there's no Torah and D there's just Torah there's just Torah in one of the collected writings ofab based I think on a speech he gave it AA Conference there's an essay and then there was a follow-up essay is a Torah and famous uh Torah they didn't come up with that it's a mishna t Gordon Torah Torah is there Torah and I think RAB was offering it as a criticism a defense of Tor and a criticism of Torah umada is there ever a Torah and something else is Torah and M is a value to education science knowledge livelihood work Society culture is a Torah and or Torah only and that's an age-old debate goes back to Torah and or Torah only says RAB that was the debate between yosf and his brothers the debate between Yos and his brothers ysf is Torah only and the brothers are living a Torah and Torah and Hashem can be found in the barbecue and the picnic he can be found in the education and the culture he can be found in the gym and in the workplace Hashem can be found even in what seems to be the mundane yose says that's not Theos yov it's Torah only there Torah only all there is is Torah all there is is Torah that's the debate so before goes all the way back to Y and the brothers and maybe that's what it means they went they went to Shepherd themselves their eating and their drinking was was also they thought they could transform they could Elevate they could make it real when they put him in the pit this this is how you understand based on listen to this they put y in the pit the pit was empty there was no water rash kazal if it was empty obviously there's no water why do you have to tell me there's no water there was no water but there's snakes and scorpions and all kinds of dangerous animals but water is a metaphor to Waters Torah the brothers put him in a pit without Torah and they said can you find Hashem here now you don't have a safer you're not in a b Med there is no can you find Hashem now without Torah Torah and your Torah only how you gonna do in a pit with no Torah if you're Torah only that's how based on RAB you can interpret why they put him in the pit and what do they do we're going to get to this too hopefully right after they put him in the pit what do they do lunchtime could you imagine your brother your flesh and blood you're ready to kill him murder Cold Blood instead you put him in a pit with snakes and scorpions and then someone says lunch barbecue is ready let's go throw the hamburgers on lunch you think you tear Kaa sit and you'd cry what have we done maybe even if you don't have regret and remorse at least you feel neb I can't believe it came to this we had no choice we had to do this but I can't believe no instead they say lunch based on rabman you could understand why are they screaming lunch because that's exactly the m is with Ys you're in the pit with no water with no Torah because you you Torah only how are you going to survive without Torah but we are Torah and from in the pit you're going to hear us having lunch you know why because we can find Hashem over lunch Hashem is in the Hashem is in the hamburger Hashem is in a fantastic steak black and blue Char on the outside rare on the inside some fried onions little soos sauce Hashem is all over that hasem can be found all over that the shahak you make before the boras you make afterwards in the sizzle in the smell in the delicious taste in the melt in your mouth too early Hashem is all over that it's an incredible Insight based on this rabman the DAT through debate between Yosef and his brothers and then you plug that into everything what do you mean they throw them in a pit a May no water no Torah they break out with lunch they're proving it's here that's what's going they're proving you can find hasem even in sheph ourselves it's incredible based on that teaching of you go back you plug it in you could see it in all these ways [Music] so y going back Y is sent to go find out their wellbeing Shalom I'm going to send you why to find out next go check out how your brothers are doing and the flock and come back and Report let me know so he went from the and he got to we don't have great memories in he goes and he gets to listen to this if you came today just for this it was worth coming in addition to the slushy and the coffee but if you came today for this it was worth coming listen to this where is this when we look at when we interact when we connect with other people we can choose we can choose what to focus on do we see their deficiencies their failures their shortcomings do we see what we abhor what's repulsive what we reject in them or are we drawn to what's redeeming what's beautiful what we have in common what's Noble what's worth admiring everyone everyone for some it's harder than others but everyone has something redeemable every fellow Jew at least there's something redeemable something admirable something positive to connect with something we have in common but what are we drawn to often it's been said many of our fellow Jews are highly critical we're very critical hypercritical and we choose first to see what's missing instead of seeing what's there to see what we reject instead of seeing what we have in common to see what we could be critical of instead of what we can compliment and when yob is telling Yosef is yose you're in this mess you know why because you keep bringing me de ra you keep bringing me all the negative reports everything you can be critical of everything you don't have in common everything you think is wrong in your brothers so I'm sending you know why Shalom go see the good go see what's Noble go search and seek and find out and uncover go acknowledge and articulate the go see the good go see what you can love go see what you have in common because as long as all you're gonna focus on is the negative the critical you can never connect with Hashem is all you see is what's wrong in others because each other is also every other person is a piece of Hashem find hasem in them find in them and that's what teaches each of us that's the say it every shabas morning who is the person who's the person who craves life long life who wants a long life a good life so don't speak negatively critically now what is L to we usually translate who wants a good and long and happy life so be careful guard your tongue guard your speech but no says that's not how to translate it translator who who wants long life you want longevity good health happiness the answer lero to look for the Tove in your friend look for the good if you walk around miserable foris and and negative hypercritical you're gonna be miserable you're high you're gonna have high blood pressure you're going to ruin your physical your emotional spiritual your relationships you're gonna have a terrible life you really you really want a good life longevity L to have an iron Tove see positively see good compliment don't criticize and that's what's going on over here until now you're bringing you're bringing uh all you can ever talk about all you ever report on is what's wrong with your brothers how about you go to the field go check them out go give a look and go find something good to say go find something positive go find something redeemable go find something you can compliment go find a way you can connect God bless my family they're in trouble go get get go find something that you can you can blessed go see go see the good I want to share with you my friend by Shi in England Jewish Futures produce this I love it it's beautiful see what this is an eye chart okay so obviously you don't need cataract right now not St ey chart this is the great re of linsk the of the re of ofin has a in his set he writes I'm from fre made it famous and a beautiful song what's the name of the song has the song begin somebody will remember or comment let us Merit that each of us will see the Milas of our friend so he turned it into an eye chart let us see in the big letter let us in the big letters the easy letters you could easily see the Milas and then is in little letters on the bottom we can't see that that Vision we don't have to have vision for to see Theos we don't have to see the konos it's fantastic it's great to hang up in your in your house near your shabas table or your dinner table whereever you're gonna talk hang it up at the Maan game hang it up at the wherever you're gonna hang out the barbecue hang it out with the Kish club we should be we should be Z to see L's to a to iron see the good and like yov sent yose because Yakov now diagnosed what's the problem he keeps bringing de ra he keeps speaking the negative I need ysf to break through and see something positive I need him to see a connection I need them to see something that they have in common I need him to see that there's something here I need to see there's something here in fact points out what's the problem when y now goes to his brothers he now approaches them and what happens what does he see what's the next word in the P they saw him from afar they see y approaching May writes thereof yosef's Brothers always viewed him ra from afar at the moment that he tried to come close they rejected him he appeared strange to his brothers they couldn't perceive the beauty hidden in the soul of the younger brother his sanctity was hidden behind the curtain of his external appearance which intervened to hide the subblime and the wondrous within him the coat of many colors the external covered what was taking place underneath to his brothers his Beauty was superficial a son Charming to the eye only his father understood his handsome son with the flowing locks of hair with the dream filled with an eyes only his father understood the dream implanted within him may you know when Brothers stop talking to each other can't even give a Shalom to each other is when we see each other May when we put that distance when we see the other from afar yeah that's the person in the other minion they send their kids to the other school they live in the other development they wear the other kind of yamaka they voted for the other candidate they root for the other team when we see the person from a far they're the other then we have the that is this story that we suffer from until today until today rites what's the Hebrew word for cruel because the word AAR is Zar Zar is a stranger when are you cruel to someone else Zar they're just a stranger they're the other when we make someone the other it's easy to be cruel to them but if they weren't the other if they were me no one's cruel to themselves so did it ever happen you were sat at that wedding or you were sitting waiting somewhere with the person who until now was May they were the other but when you actually finally broke through when you started to talk and you connected and you shared in common you found that there was something to connect to that's the answer that's the antidote that's what Yakov sends y go see the Shalom go see the good in in your brother go see what's there skip all the way we're skipping the whole story of Yehuda and Tamar we've discussed in the past we're skipping it not because of why we skip it in school you're grown-ups I'm a grownup we could have studied it so we're not skipping it for the reasons that skipped in school we skipping it because we've covered it before had been brought down to Egypt potifar who is a a works for par the Chamberlin of The Butchers a prominent Egyptian purchased him from the is who had brought him who had brought him down there y he is brought down to Egypt says the holy this language is quoting here from thees is what's the why is said because Hashem went with him down to Egypt when we're suffering when we're struggling these last 15 months and when each of us individually are going through a hard time Hashem is is suffering toold first because he is in Egypt but also because of him Hashem had to come down to Egypt he's suffering for himself and he's suffering at the thought of suffering when a person is when a person is suffering they often fall to a place of sadness but sadness is a he writes Yosef understood whatman dedicated his life to more a shees with many others sadness is the Kryptonite of CLA is when we're sad when we're down and out when we're depressed when we're despondent when we're hopeless we become helpless Yahara can bring us right down we'll give up we'll make poor decisions it's over a yid has to remain a Jew has to find a way to put a smile on our face y even though he's sold into slavery abandoned by his father and by his brothers or he perceives his father and by his brothers and ultimately falsely accused and sitting in slavery he stubbornly continues to smile and to be positive and to fight off that depressive State not talking about clinical depression that's not our fault that's chemical that needs to be treated God forbid no one should ever be judgmental I'm talking about non-clinical but what we can control all of us to choose happiness is a choice it's not an emotion choose happiness choose happiness and it's the way out it's the way out he Tes he translates but how that's becomes an how does he become an even in those conditions and even in that place how and why because he stubbornly continued to be he remained positive with a smile he remained happy he remained happy and that's why fast forward to the end of the paraa we didn't get to it two years ago we're not getting into it again now but if you fast forward per will end with this y ultimately finds himself in prison he's with the S sim and what does he say them he says iconic words that are the Catalyst that got him out of there that led to his freedom that led to his rising to be the vice of Egypt that led to the Jewish people going down to Egypt that led to the birth of our people and what were the words that began at all without which who knows where we would be what does he say he asks what's going on why you so sad today today now yose sitting in prison at every right to worry about himself why is he turning and looking at these two strangers and asking hey brothers what's with the sad face what's with the long face what's going on and so here they are sitting in prison every man for himself and all of a sudden a stranger is asking them why they're sad and what's going on they share about their dreams he interprets them remember him he gets out it leads to his freedom and to the rest of the story all because he bothered to turn to them to say why you so sad now first of all what day on the Hebrew calendar was that anyone know gar tells us in rashash it was rashash it was rashash you want a new beginning in your life care about other people who are sad ask them why they're sad relieve them of their sadness make them better and happier that's a new rash A New Beginning for us comes when we care about other people it begins his freedom because y says I'll leave you with a fourth question to think about I was gonna give you the answer but we don't have time he should have said M why are your faces sad today he says why are your faces what does raim mean bad what's with he doesn't say what's with the sad face he says what's with the bad face why does he call a sad face a bad face hopefully all of us together may we hear please remain to say all we should hear