Parsha Perspectives for Today (Vayeishev, 5783) - Patience and Perserverance

okay good morning poker so welcome back to posture perspectives for today we have the privilege of learning parsha's vaishev page 198 in the Arts called Stone hamesh big and special thank you to our generous Parsha series sponsors for the year Becky and Navi cats and family in memory of Becky's Father David Grossman our learner should also this morning sheer is sponsored by Judy and Joel pomerance for their and she'll have a complete speedy and painless for schlemma should only hear about some good things and wishing everyone a good yantef now you don't know that today is yantiff do you test kiss slave it's the Rosh Hashanah of hasidos today is the yard side of the market of mizrich that is the day the atarama got out of prison today is the beginning to change the world I think that far bringing is still going on did it end yeah from last night I'm still going on so wishing everyone a good yantef we begin parishes of yaakov comes and he wants to settle in the land of his forefathersava he wants what many of you or many of us want to retire and sit under the palm trees to sit pina coladas to relax and go to the afternoon call the women's mid Rasha to Simply Be able to coast in life a little bit haven't you put in your time worked hard and found the Jewish communities organizations paid tuitions put in A Hard Day's work and now just you just want to be able to sit in comfort and yet because yaakov was wrong was inappropriate in wanting that because if this animosity this enemy this episode of Yosef and his brothers instead was sprung upon yaakov what's so wrong what's so wrong about wanting to leisure bashava who doesn't want some peace and serenity who doesn't want some Tranquility who doesn't want to be able to retire and live life not wasting her squandering time live life studying and learning Torah and volunteering and doing wonderful things what's wrong with being Leisure bashava what's wrong with wanting that so we've discussed this more at length in the past but the Torah is teaching us something that Adam we are here to work to toil we are here to struggle struggle is where breakthrough take place everybody knows the clam that yields the Pearl through the tension the struggle inside the countless metaphors and examples of it in life no breakthrough ever happened when a person was sitting sipping pina coladas breakthrough growth spurts advancement progress transformation happen in the realm of struggle this also explains last week and if all yaakov should have known that what is the Jewish people's name we're called Israel and why are we called these aspects parasha we're beginning this week by learning last week's Pasha but why are we called Israel the Sarah the alter ego of yaakov names because you wrestled with all and you persevered so why don't we call we should be benef the people of persevering the people of Triumph the people of success the people of winning why are the people of sarisa struggle the answer is because it's in the struggle that there is the Breakthrough it's not that we look for or we welcome or we try to voluntarily engage in struggle but when struggle is visited on us when we recognize that at every age and at every stage of life there's effort there's struggle and that's where breakthrough occurs I mentioned on Shabbos someone once came to the Villages that's how I was very bothered person who had been trying to have a breakthrough and avoid this hashem's whole life and he was towards the end of life and he said I've been struggling my whole life I've been trying and I have nothing to show for it so what's it gonna say on my kevor what's he gonna say on my mateva my Tombstone is going to say here lies somebody who tried who struggled so the yashiv looked at him and he said if I were walking through the Bible if I were walking through a cemetery and I passed the tombstone that said here lies somebody who struggled someone who tried I would stop and dive in there because I'd be at the grave of at Sadiq there's nothing wrong with a life that we try that we struggle so shalva of course they want some Tranquility some peace and quiet of course we want things to go smoothly we'd like one week where we don't have a doctor's appointment I know the routine one week one week where we don't have a doctor's appointment okay but you know what it's in the struggle it's against the wall it's the challenges which yields the the breakthroughs we're going to try to learn from our past and and focus on the end of the Parsha so hard you read this book and there's so many great different Torah through the years and I just want to repeat them all but you can go online and listen we have so many years recordings up you could listen every day to a different year of the Parsha and you'll hear the beginning of the Parsha what do you mean that the totals of yak of Yosef how many children does yaakov have how did the 11 feel someone says I'd like to introduce you to my children I'm so proud of them here's Joseph hi what about me Ayla told us yaakov Yosef what about the other 11. he's 17 years old is he brings this negative language and again now is not the time but this is yosephic these partials are communicated to us in a way that we could hopefully relate and learn but he's categorically different he's Joseph and these are the shifter so Yosef speaking how do we understand that and what was the content of Allah that he spoke what was the accusing his brothers of Torah tells us they're eating Abraham and Akai and they're violating all kinds of ethical boundaries that's how they're behaving so this partial begs study me unpack me that can't be what it means of favored now the Torah doesn't says who favored Yosef you're still not a coincidence that it doesn't say yaakov the the part of yaakov that favored Yosef was Israel the bigger the the Destiny part of who he was favored yosefully and he makes for him this multi-colored cope and the brothers see that he's favored Yosef his favor that doesn't go well but he's also we have three references to hatred Vice new hatred baseless hatred hatred for a reason hatred below Shalom so let's begin with that an Insight from the mega Joseph what do you mean what does mean just translate the words low they couldn't I mean they couldn't they chose not to shalom means they could not speak to him when you hate someone you avoid them like the plague you go to the other side of the room you don't want to engage or speak to them Loyola means they wanted to but they couldn't they tried but it didn't go well means they wanted to didn't work so why does it say hello Torah chooses its words very specifically very carefully very accurately baseless hatred hatred Between Brothers hatred between people is unlike any other hate maybe you hate kale I don't like kale you hate kale but you can still talk to the kale you could still hear the word kale you hate kale every other hate you hate the Red Sox okay that's that's a that's a tough hatred but someone you love loves the Red Sox they're going through a hard time for them you could even say the words Red Socks when there's a brotherly hate and there's hate between people oh it's totally different believe the truth is inside us is the yearning to reconcile to repair we return we want to get along we want to love we want to connect we want to be together Reckless Shalom but what happens what happens is this is the source of you know what happens you manufacture such a problem that you then convince yourself that you shouldn't speak to the other person you can't speak to how can I speak to them you know what I gave their kids for their wedding what they gave my kids I want to I wish I could how could I speak to them do you know what kind of yamaka they were do you know how she does or doesn't cover you know they send their kids to school I can speak to them to know where they came down on this political fight in the community they were on the other side of that political issue I can't I want to I wish to inside me I yearn to loyalo we manufacture and we superimpose on ourselves as if we can't we can and it's up to us too but we're essentially choosing not to we're choosing not to Radcliffe I mean notes of where notes are we manufacture just peel back the layers remove this artificial obstacle and just start talking again that possesses the answer is actually in this Pasta Too loyalu we think we can't but we can so just do it stop saying you can't you can and do it the story quotes the next comment the tour IMO here's another strange part of the possible so first we explain what does it mean what do you mean you can't you can you act like you can't so remove the acting like you can't you can and you can have peace again you can have again the Torah says a different question why does it say bro it should say they weren't able to speak with him what does the word means means not only did they struggle to engage and speak to Yosef but it means they couldn't even speak to others about Yosef you ever have that two people are in a fight you go to them you say look oh you know who I saw the other day don't even say his name I don't want to hear anything about her in this house you can't mention their name don't tell me anything is since the tour of the hatred was so deep the hatred was so strong it's no they couldn't engage Joseph directly but even indirectly even to others even when he wasn't there is so when you're fighting with someone else and you have a holy war and a holy fight you're willing to the whole world to know about when you fight with a brother it's embarrassing and the family to not be talking for brothers to be so broken and divided it's embarrassing so normally you pretend normally at least you act as if you're getting along to others was so strong the hatred superseded even the bush of the shame that Brothers weren't talking that's the power that's how pernicious hatred is that it can Cloud our judgment it could overwhelm our sense of Shame supersede our sense of Shame foreign to each other you know what sometimes you repair a relationship you don't have to be best friends you don't have to break bread you don't spend your meals together you have to be able to coexist you have to be able to be in a room together you have to be able to say to one another Shalom they couldn't even say hello they couldn't even say they couldn't even say couldn't even say shalom says why is the greeting of two Jews you say and the other says and the answer is when you meet another Jew what you're saying is I recognize you and I are different we have different backgrounds different philosophies different Lifestyles we're different it's only natural it's understandable and it's fair we each an individual unique distinct expression of Hashem in this world but you know what Shalom between us in that plural there should be Shalom let's compliment let's love and the other person affirms it and says amen that's the whole nature of a Jewish greeting that's what's going on over here you know the the Torah goes on and yaakov then sends Joseph down he says go find your brothers which is in itself is very puzzling go find your brothers some understand that Joseph's whole life thinks who orchestrated the whole throwing in a pit attempted murder sail to Merchants none other than his own father yaakov maybe that's why for 22 years he didn't send the telegram he didn't reach out he didn't say I'm alive because he thinks yaakov is in after all who's the one who sent him to go look for his brothers it was yaakov Yakov goes Yosef goes rather and he meets his Angel and the angel says to him no what are you looking for MATA vacation what are you looking for and what is the answer is you look lost what's going on what are you looking for we quoted it last year the katsuka says this Angel the angel asks us a car bigger house more things are you sure an insatiable appetite for Torah for amuna for your sashem what's your because what defines you you learn about somebody by what they want by what they think about by what they work for by what they yearn by what they feel they're lacking not to Vacation what are you mavakish you want things or you want experiences you want possessions or you want a relationship with Hashem and what is your safe answers what is the motto it should be the mission statement of the Jewish people the division says Hashem you know what Hashem is he wants us to be together he wants us to have artists I said it last night at the fabranging part of the introduction of hasidos to be together to never judge one another to see what we have in common not what divides us to love the best part and to find the godliness the most redeemable holy part of another Jew is not just Yosef answering I'm looking for my brothers Unity so the brothers Shalom the brothers couldn't even give us whereas Yosef has asked what are you looking for I just want my brothers I just want to be together I just want to be United I just want to experience some actors but that doesn't go well he finds the brothers and what happens we have the whole episode as we know they strip him of his coat they dip it in blood they think to kill him they throw them in the pillow snakes and scorpions ultimately abandon Ishmael are walking by they pull them out by him Cruz yourself . and these midnight men these Traders passed by so what happens they pull him out of the pit by himself they sell them for 20 silver coins and Yosef now descends down to midrand he's on his way down to midrand the Target munozan says what was Jose sold for it was a trade barter what was yesterday sold for flat screen TV yeah vote it says from kessef he was sold for 20 pieces of silver but the target miona son says for shoes Target munison says he was sold four shoes the offer government Sunderland sandals he was sold for sandals wow Joseph was sold exchanged for some sandals says the H Thomas goes back a couple years we never got to it so we're back there of drug shlita move work and this is an explicit later in Amos the navi Amos the navi refers to it explicitly that's where the target malludes to it here that Yosef was sold not for a vintage collector pair of Jordans but for a pair of lowly sandals the period that we say commemorating the ten Martyrs why are the ten Martyrs the ten great rabbis of the talmudai the hands of the Romans we all know the magician in the medrus that the there was a trial held because the Jewish people were never accountable for what we did to Yosef and the brothers were found guilty and the ten rabbis of the Roman time were executed because they were found guilty so in Ayla eskara we say uh akina and we say a piute Muslim Kippur and antish above on behalf of sandals because of shoes Yosef was sold hatsoris Joseph above we're not lying says we're druck it wasn't sold for spices it wasn't sold for a charcuterie board or for some sushi platter he was sold for sandals for shoes there's got to be a deep meaning a deep symbol a deep purpose what these these brothers had no shoes the brothers the shifter card no shoes so they needed shoes they still use their shoes what is this really all about says Rodrick but this morning we make a broken corresponding with the gift that we have to put on shoes which bracha Sally called you prepare for me all of my needs because really correspond with something we're doing in the morning we open our eyes we put on shoes originally it was ordained you'd say the bracha corresponding with acknowledgment and gratitude for this gift which we take for granted until we can't ever wake up in the morning and you can't get out of bed God forbid a person wakes up in the morning and their eyes don't open you ever God forbid to wake up in the morning and the digestive system is not working ashayatsa can't be said so today is that we say them together as part of birch which are really separate and apart from davening even if you're going to David and she will begin with you should stay at home a part of the way we wake up in the morning even if you're not going to Daven until later my routine I normally have a khabrus I normally learn before davening but I say beforehand that's part of the way we wake up the soldiers in your cup and beer has a chakra on your lips first beer has a chakra then Folgers in your cup corresponds with shoes why Hashem you prepare all I need all by the way notice how it says justly called we're up to the amida instead of Snippets but I'll throw you back all the way many hundreds of Snippets ago to the very beginning we begin with Moda Ani and undoubtedly I don't even remember what we asked is there why do we say my needs the answer is we wake up in the morning we say Hashem I'm different than my neighbor than my friend than my brother and all I ask for are my needs what you have for me reflect what I need I don't need to compete or compare with others but sarkeep my needs it's about me this refers to shoes here's the explanation what are shoes made out of for the most part until recent times leather shoes are leather we know this is applies in halacha Yom Kippur you can't wear leather shoes we don't wear leather shoes those who believe Allah you can go on harabayas you can't wear leather shoes in holy places at the snare Moshe had to take off his leather shoes storm shoes are leather the Assumption of shoes are made out of leather is foreign there are four Realms there are four levels of life of Living of this world there's the domain inanimate objects share a table there's a samayach that which grows plant vegetative life there's something that has a lower level Soul an animal and finally the highest level of living is human beings so there's inanimate and there's an animated uh vegetation has life but no soul the animal has a soul but a low-level Soul so who is the king of the Kingdom who rules the kingdom why is this whole world here whom does it serve when we put on leather shoes and those letters shoot leather shoes protect our feet and allow us and Empower us and enable us to navigate this world what we're saying is Hashem this world is here for me this world is subservient to me this world is for me to use and utilize for my purpose for my mission is it's amazing to see this story we've read so many times and try to understand it and analyze it from each of their perspectives live it in real time Through The Eyes of the brothers the brothers are saying to themselves they say oh we know our family narrative we know our family story we know that our grandfather who's the brother's grandfather 's grandfather izak our great grandfather avram had two sons Ishmael was the mistake Ishmael was the the uh Gone Wrong who was the correct one the chosen one through whom the legacy of Abram would continue was dismissed and yet was chosen then our grandfather Yitzhak he had two sons Yakov and asaph ASA was absolus ASA was the reject and our father yaakov was the chosen I guess our family story and Destiny is that in every generation they'll be the one who's chosen the one through whom the Legacy will pass and the rest will be rejects the rest will be discarded the rest will be the Solas well we all know that our father loves Joseph more than he loves all of us Yosef has this fancy coat yosa has been designated Yosef seems to be the chosen one what does that mean about all of us we must be the Solas they said we've got to prevent that we've got to preclude that we've got to make sure that doesn't happen how do we make sure that doesn't happen we get Yosef out of the way the continuity of the Jewish people will not come through Yosef certainly not Yosef alone let's get Yosef out of the way since shoes enable us to navigate to rule to conquer to manipulate this world the brothers exchanged Joseph they said you know what don't throw us out of the way we're getting Yosef out of the way and we're putting on our shoes because we're getting ready to rule the world to control the world to navigate the world maybe that's why dafka for shoes shoes represent our capacity to lead to conquer to navigate to manipulate to control the world around us that's why by the way why is Moshe told take off your shoes you're in a holy Place why can't the cow on him not wear shoes on harabayas when we're in the presence of Hashem take off those shoes you know why because when you're in the presence of Hashem you can't go anywhere you can't do anything you can't conquer nothing nothing try to walk around without shoes you ever try to get the mail when you're Barefoot take out the garbage on your Barefoot ow oh ah you can't make it down the driveway Barefoot You're Gonna Go control the world shoes are the capacity to experience the world to control the world to navigate the world around us so the brothers dafka exchange Jose for shoes what they were saying is we don't need Yosef to have a future and a continuity it can happen through us we are in the driver's seat we have the control the dashboard called shoes shoes are the way that we're going to now control the world in the opposite direction Yosef by the way is having the same thought Joseph says twice as is often the case these brothers have so much more in common than divides them they're both living with the same essential paranoia which is driving their behavior Yosef says to himself well let's see my great grandfather are two sons he kept the attack my grandfather had two sons he kept the Alcove he got rid of asaph my father has all these children why did he send me out to check on my brothers who then threw me in the pit ready for me to die then sold me into to a merchant to take me down to mitraim it must be I'm the Ishmael I'm the ace of my generation so why bother getting in touch with Abba with Dad when he really was discarding me so really they have much more in common than divides than they're both living with the same paranoia they're both filtering everything through the same experience hold on to your seats this is a big one we're on page 208 page 208 the story of the sale of Yosef Yosef and the brothers what happens to Joseph down in matrium all of this is interrupted by the story of Yehuda and Tamar the story of Yehuda and Tamar foreign s they're married they die young Tamar desperate to have continuation to have progeny she dresses up as a Zona on the side of the road and solicits her own father-in-law who doesn't recognize her takes a collateral later when yahudah hears his daughter-in-law is pregnant he accuses her of promiscuity and says she should be killed she not to embarrass him says whoever owns this collateral whoever gave this payment is the father of this child Yehuda recognizes his own belongings says many she is more righteous than I and they are the progenitors of mashiach the Jewish mashiach comes through that line not what we would expect at all a lot to share about this story posix says yahudah takes a wife for his son air and what's her name ushma Tamar her name is Tamar and the safer Tiff giten I'm reading to you now from outside Torah in the safer Tiff gitten foreign there are men named Tamar I forgot the Mercury even though in the Torah we find this name being used for a woman we call makami Shameless we have names that are used both for men and women could be a man's name or a woman's name Mazel Tov can be a man's name or a woman's name foreign the son of Menachem simulator it can be used for a boy or a girl why is this all significant because the measures topio says something absolutely Wild governor he says zahar Tamar had the nashama of a man the nashama of a man in a woman's body she should have been infertile because really she had the nashama of a Manu because Yehuda had the Sparks of feminine energy through their Union Tamar was able to give birth again so we do have these sources that refer to the fact that we can have a male body a female Soul a female body a male soul this notion that a person can feel uncomfortable in their own skin now we're not tackling this topic right now this measures topios for a long time I'm sure was not understood could not be understood whatever our genetics and whatever our anatomy defines the halachic status of the individual and changing that body is not a halach option for several reasons years ago we gave a share on this topic and referenced these kabbalistic sources that talk about a person who might feel that they have the opposite soul and then he goes on further test possible Yosef is the fat Tower Joseph is very beautiful very very pleasant to look at and Rasha there says on these words paraglama test posic love is Yosef knew he was very beautiful he's very handsome and what did Joseph love to do he loved to look in the mirror and play with his hair he loved to beautify himself in the safer tourism why was Joseph loving to Adorn himself to pamper himself why did he look in the mirror and why was he so consumed by his vanity where did that come from that's more of a feminine quality with no judgment on it but if we had to associate it with one gender it's more of a feminine quality by the way the gemara when it talks about the prohibition you're not allowed aware of the clothing of the opposite gender Torah has very specific gender differences distinctions one cannot wear the clothing of the other the Gomorrah gives an example of a violation of this prohibition a man shouldn't look in the mirror to brush his hair that's the way of a woman a man shouldn't pluck out a white hair from his beard or his hair that's not something a man should be consumed by his vanity and Allah says in a society where that is done that's no longer a Prohibition today can a man color his hair it's a whole lot of discussion about it but it's a plus a total points out that this behavior of Yosef is much more associated with feminine quality so where did Joseph learn to look in the mirror brush his hair pamper himself and get a mani pedi foreign that's ten if I'm pregnant with a boy my sister Rachel will have less than even the schwagos so what happened so the baby inside Leia went from being the boy she was due to have so the gender was converted to be a girl Dina and Rahul became pregnant with Yosef ully writes Yosef really originally Leia was pregnant with Yosef and raqqa was pregnant with Dina because her latest Fila they were switched in utero this is part of the discussion also in halacha how do you define maternity genetics or gestation who is the mother the genetic genetic contributor or whoever provides the womb the environment how do you define maternity everybody points to this Target munas and benazil and this Gamora and this discussion but he says how did Dina get into trouble with because Leia went out we know it is a male quality to go out to conquer the world it's a feminine quality to be more modest more withdrawn why did Dina exhibit the masculine quality of going out just a shadow masculinity because originally she was a boy and why did Yosef show some of this femininity he was obsessed with his hair and looking in the mirror because it was originally a girl he had some feminine energy and feminine quality within him why do I share all this with you that's an excellent question I'm wandering it myself right now why am I sharing this with you I'll share it with you first of all it is interesting it's told him but I share it with you because we should not be dismissive of how complicated and complex these areas are our toraha kadosha found seven centuries ago has sources of the complexity of this the notion of the body on the one hand but the gender of the Soul on the other and the balance between them and to a degree every one of us has look for we have we have both masculine and feminine which quality is more emphasized within us based on the anatomy and the genetics that we have the halach is very clear we don't recognize that we don't believe in the ability to transition or to change or to redefine or to take on a different identity is very clear that a choice pronouns are not our choice that these are objective and absolute definitions based on Anatomy based on chromosomes but the notion that a person might feel drawn to or a different energy has a strong basis in our Torah and should at least elicit within us a sophisticated approach a sensitive approach a nuanced approach to on the one hand unapologetically and and non-defensively Advocate and represent What We Believe on the one hand and fight for it in a world with blurring definitions and blurring boundaries in which we don't know anything anymore on the one hand to unapologetically and non-defensively stand up for what we believe but be able to simultaneously do it with nuance and sophistication and sensitivity and acknowledgment that these issues are complex that these issues are Joseph was a man the fact that these makotas father utzer plus who put the safer together I'm not I'm reading his favorite and he's quoting here midrashram and Ghazal and to resolve and the other and other sources the majority and others of uh of others what I'm trying to communicate is how careful we have to be and how we approach this topic Yosef knew he was a man and Tamara was a woman it's not a contradiction to feel connected to different qualities as long as one knows how they are defined by and by Hashem and that's immutable that is not that's not changeable so that's an interesting our partialism both legabe Tamar and the Gabi Yosef and I'm going to get out of here right now what does it mean many days past what's the reference to many days have passed certain has a comment here Says Z following somewhere where is this here many days have passed Tamara was a heroic woman a great woman she possessed the ability and patience to wait Without End Tamar waited many years she was lonely forsaken forgotten by everyone Seasons passed all her friends married families all contact with them came to an end people treated her with ridicule and contempt Shayla married you Dad forgotten her and yet she waited and never said a word was she not the Incarnation of the Kinesis Israel which has waited for a beloved hundreds and thousands of years under the most trying circumstances did not Tamar personify the greatest of all heroic action capacity to wait while the waiting arouses laughter and derision the rough saw in these words the days passed tomorrow is patient she waited she waited Tamar showed the strength of waiting and hoping of having faith even when she became the subject of mockery she sat as a widow in her father's house waited for Shayla Tamar remained faithful and loyal in her Simplicity she instinctively trusted Yehuda she could not tear herself away from him something faithful incomprehensible tied her to him so she made the desperate decision to sit at the Crossroad the strength of absurd loyalty is the second foundation of the concealed world of the kingdom of the idea of mashiach of bezdavid even if the Jewish people of the glow of the past and the promise of a glorious future then you shall see and be radiant and your heart shall throb and be enlarged Apostle of what use would these be if the Jewish people had not had Tamar and hundreds thousands like her who sat waited patiently in the most horrible circumstances everyone laughed and mocked said saying God has long forgotten you thousands of years passed and the Divine promise was not fulfilled yet the tamaras of the world kept waiting they sat on the ground on tush above and cried for thousands of years the tamars repeated every morning I believe with complete faith where do we get that capacity descends and comes from the mother of mashiach is among his mothers is Tamar this ability to wait the ability to be patient the ability to not give in to the ridicule and derision to the mockery and cynicism the ability to maintain loyal faith and to stay true with resiliency to what we believe and to not give in to Despair and hopelessness but to cling to the promise of a brighter future where did we get this planted within us what gave Faith to those who survived the Crusades in the Inquisition and the Holocaust and every challenge of our past what lets us sit and wait and long for mashiach Rob writes so beautifully so poetically it's all ingrained in us from Tamar because the days passed Tamar showed that capacity Tamar himself showed that capacity I already told you what happens is she shows these um collateral the payment she says whoever owns these things this is the father right she said identify the Signet and this rap and the staff because whoever owns them that's who is really the father of the baby that I'm carrying you want to kill me kill me you want to accuse me of promise you to give me the promiscuity on my way out just know whoever owns these items through which I will receive payment that's the father of this child the Lush on Tamar says I mean recognize why the word na they could have said I care recognize identify what does the word always come to mean I hello so why did Tamar say please look please identify please if you please foreign she said please recognize your master recognize your Creator and do not allow three innocent people to die recognize your master and don't allow three innocent people to die akerna identify identify if it's yours or or not it's what you would have said Rashi Loma foreign what was Tamar really saying to Yehuda hakarna let your conscience kick in believe in God Hashem is watching Hashem knows the truth Hashem knows it was you you and I and Hashem all know what could Yehuda have forgotten talking about the great yahudah again one of the members forgotten foreign have to go out of his way to expand his interpretation was the simple understanding and translation not enough simple understanding was compelling enough hakarna identify whoever owns these things as the father Music Stops Moment of Truth what were you to do how will he react wow what a powerful moment it's all built up the drama without having to reinterpret our Karen our means remember him so why did Rashi feel compelled to add that additional layer of explanation hakarna means don't forget you're Creator don't forget Hashem says you ready you know what you learn and you see from here even a great Yehuda even someone as great as Yehuda in that moment where our back is against the wall in that moment where we are confronted with the truth in that moment when we see the reality of what we've done will we reconcile and justify will we rationalize you know what the word rationalize where it comes from the etymology of the word rationalize are rational lies the rational Lies We Tell ourselves our ego gets in the way you ever have a debate no no one here has ever had a debate with their spouse and you dig deep and you double down and you are convinced what you believe and then the truth comes out you clarified you verified and it turns out you were wrong so many people their ego gets in the way say yeah that's what I said all along or no no that's not really true here this case is different or this is why I said that or I said that because you don't really understand why in this case I'm still really right even though it seems like you're right the ego inevitably gets in the way and we struggle to be modala Ms to admit the truth and so in that moment it's not easy in that moment in public to admit we're wrong is you just confronted this is a Moment of Truth this will Define his entire Legacy will this ego get in the way will he continue to deny it with him will he tell he rationalize will he rationalize why it was okay or will he say Sad coming many you know what my conscience kicked in my awareness of Hashem triumphed and superseded whatever my ego said and therefore I'm able to say many why did he earn Malthus you who does the progenitor of Jewish monarchy forever it comes from yehudah why the Naza you know why because In This Moment of Truth yehudah overcame his ego his Instinct and was able to admit the truth but says the fact that Tamar had to invoke Hashem the only thing that gives us the strength of character to be willing to admit the truth even when it will hurt and injure our ego the only thing that gives us the strength of character to do it is remembering our creator remember to whom we're going to answer remember what really matters and what really counts remember what he really knows and we can't deny or rationalize when we invoke and we remember and we have a clear spiritual conscience that kicks in and that becomes our compass that guides Us in life and we have the capacity this is what we've done for every morning the Dover Ms we have to be willing to be miraculous to Ms to be Moda we Daven that we have the strength of character and the clarity and the confidence and the courage to be mode to live a life of humility in which our ego doesn't get in the way and therefore create a barrier between us and others and between us and Hashem so yeah he's the great yehudah the great yahudah and yet Tamar has to say don't forget him because this is a Moment of Truth do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God because what will drive you and motivate you and hold you accountable to tell the truth is so help you God when you remember that it comes from God has another interpretation he says normally we think normally think what demonstrates our faith our belief in Hashem what demonstrates our recognition of Hashem we sit and we learn them we say we learn to say foreign here we find a new definition of believing in God Tamara um do you know what shows if you believe in God says the great here we learn from here what demonstrates if you believe in God is not how long your Shmoney essary takes to say not how many tell them you recite not how well you can repeat more he could recite all the evidence of God's existence do you know what really demonstrates if you believe in God are you willing to be mode in those moments of truth will you set aside ego and will you recognize the truth because the only way that we do and we will is because we believe in Hashem that's what compels us so we shouldn't just talk about God we should demonstrate our belief in God by being Godly and by being mode to Allah by admitting and by recognizing the truth is we know that the wife of potiphar relentlessly pursues Yosef after all he's this handsome beautiful man she relentlessly pursues him and Joseph is tempted and almost gives in but he doesn't he perseveres and he rejects where does he get the Courage the root of the word the word means to refuse but the root of the word is amuna where you get the courage to refuse the courage to tell the truth it's the story of Yehuda the karish to refuse the courage to be disciplined the capacity comes from emuna comes from emuna says the author of calm Yosef says how could I do this to my master he put me in charge of his whole house how could I violate his trust by being unfaithful with his wife how could I do that how could I do that the author of calm says you see the power of here who did more for whom did potivar do more for Yosef or did Yosef do more for potifar gave Joseph a chance he hired him when no one else would and he trusted him he put him in charge of entire finances so on the one hand potiphar gave Joseph A start he gave yourself a chance he did a lot for him did Yosef pay him back did he reciprocate and then some he made potsie for incredibly wealthy so he even the score in a sense Joseph doesn't really owe potifar anything but colesman Yosef is engaged at all in potiphar and his world he never forgets with a supreme sense of akara satov he never forgets what potifier did for him never forgets what he did for him his whole life and this is Yosef always feeling gratitude and appreciation for everything turns away from her attempts she grabs his coat and he runs out without it foreign yo who's stronger Joseph or the wife of potifier like Leo safe Yosef is likely stronger so how is it that she's able to win she grabs him and he lets go of the coat and lets her take it instead of pulling away with his coat with his jacket with his shirt and fleeing the scene without leaving any evidence behind why did she win the ramban says you know why so loud she's a woman he's a man you're not going to disrespect the woman the wife of the man who gave you his first chance gave you your first chop give you your first job or he's a dog wow says the altar of kelm you see how far hakara satov goes that even in that moment where a false accusation is about to be born Joseph in his mind says I can't be violent with this woman that's not appropriate and it's not appropriate to the wife of the man who gave me a start yosef's whole line life is defined and informed and inspired by this incredible sense of akara satov a sense of akara satov that goes so incredibly fare Joseph was then put in prison because of this false accusation and now it is the third day it's somebody's birthday makes a big birthday for his servants but he says and he makes a big party for himself he makes a big party for all of his servants and he counted the Sarah mashkim and the son of him among his servants yes returned to his place to his position and the Sarah of him is executed he is hung both a fulfillment of the prediction the dream interpretation that Yosef had offered did not remember Yosef and he forgot him it's pretty redundant if you don't remember then you forget if you forget you didn't remember why does the plastic have to say it twice says he forgot him later then they should tell about yourself because Jose put his faith put his trust in the Tsar hamashkim saying when you get out of here don't forget me putting a good word for me get me out of here because Yosef put his faith in basavadam in a fellow man therefore he was really meant to sit in prison for two years but he sat for longer I give us he shouldn't have put his faith in in the Tsar so therefore he sat for he sat for longer therefore he sat for longer had he not put his faith in he asked twice because Joseph asked him to remember him twice he sat for two years had he not had he only asked him once how long would he have sat for some say no years zero years you know why you have to do establish the problem was not doing his child was you have to make an effort you have to take initiative the problem is excessive initiative you can't win the lottery if you don't buy one ticket wants you to win you'll win with one ticket buying two tickets is excessive buying two texts foolish statistically you don't increase your chance whatsoever you have no chance of one ticket you still have no chance with two tickets you haven't increased your chances it's not that you have twice the chance of winning you have twice the zero chance of winning but yet you have to buy one ticket to have any chance so that's initiative so for Yosef to have said once listen when you get out please put in a good word that's initiative that's reasonable it's understandable it's acceptable it's the fact that he said twice that's what was unacceptable is a different interpretation says no that initiative would be understandable normally but this is an unreasonable initiative you know why midterm don't do favors for one another you should have known that Sarah mashkin is such a low life there was zero chance you would ever remember you so even asking once is an excessive inappropriate initiative so yes Hashem wants us to show initiative to parallel and couple our faith but it has to be reasonable understandable acceptable initiative and this was an unacceptable initiative but anyway I want to draw your attention in closing to the notion that it was stolen to the notion that it was Paulo's birthday why was it telling us it's paro's birthday do we find anyone else observing a birthday in the Torah what is the Jewish view of birthdays we don't have time to do this now fully I once gave a sheer back in 2013 there was the 30th birthday of the Boca Raton Synagogue I have uh many many many many many many makoras on this topic I'm happy to share them with anyone who wants to see them but just very quickly to end so the Great the great aderis to um The Great aderis and his nephesh David writes you know I get so angry at those who wish me a happy birthday on my birthday why um the only time we see the notion the mention of a birthday in the Torah is paralysis where we have been better being created not created we passed they counted and they concluded it would have been better that we weren't created so what are you saying happy birthday what makes it so happy it would have been better if we weren't here so he says the only time we find the notion of a birthday in a birthday party in the Torah or lagabe an evil person part of this power wasn't evil but lagabi a non-jew so don't wish me a happy birthday says the aderis don't wish me happy birthday don't say happy birthday we don't focus on birthdays better to focus on the day of death than the day of your birth day of your birth you were nothing it was all promised the day of your death hopefully you became a something there's something to reflect on my Mavis is better than yummy valdo so what are you mentioning my birthday and in fact this is the opinion of the mooncatcher as well this is also writes he says this was the drusha that he gave in the basement Republic so the the I don't know who it was but monkach they had to make that to assemble in the shul to celebrate the great birthday of this non-jewish ruler says for us we have to keep mitrus there's 365 ways that could go wrong only 248 ways it could go right we have many more losses so what's so good about being born would have been better not to be born it's so hard to get it right but for the non-jews seven lousy myths has been a Noah don't rip a limb off a live animal and eat it they got that covered so Taco being born is a great thing so they wish each other a happy birthday we don't wish one another a happy birthday he quotes the others I used to get angry with people and he says when a person turns 60 if you survived to your 60th birthday you have survived Karis Karis means you'll die before your 60th birthday so if you make it to your 60th birthday should you celebrate so it sounds like only on your 60th birthday but every other birthday don't do anything seriously home no birthday cards no balloons no birthday cakes no candles there was no birthday there are many many sources on this subject recognized a birthday says at a birthday party if you give a Torah you transform a mundane secular birthday party into us through this Mitzvah says stopping and pausing and saying thank you Hashem for bringing me into this world and that I have a responsibility a duty and obligation that is a muzzle that I experience that comes into the world on this day in the in the home of ravavaja they would celebrate birthday parties they'd celebrate birthday parties many sources on it there are many many sources on the notion of the birthday the receipt say Lila the helicopter coin of Lublin he writes on your birthday you have a muscle and the muscle will protect you and you shouldn't fear if you celebrate the fact that that birthday brought you into this world it's muzzle it's a muzzle I love to quote I think it's Mark Twain he says the most important days in a person's life the day you're born and the day you figure out why so today we should figure out why he's on our birthday our birthday we should pause and celebrate Hashem why did you bring me into this world what would the world have been lacking if I wasn't here what's my mission and my purpose what am I meant to fulfill what difference am I meant to make well legumacy am I meant to leave behind well Legacy am I meant to leave behind others on your 70th birthday because the plastic says if you make it to 70 years the average lifetime is 70 years so your 70th birthday if you make it to 70 more than 70 you're already have a blessed life longevity from a Jewish perspective you're young you're young but from a Jewish perspective it's longevity so maybe you should make and the post can consider this Republic stuff so far maybe shame on Marcus maybe no shame on Marcus big discussion but I'll close with again it's your test kiss label close the way we begin the Bible felt very strongly that birthdays are worth celebrating they're a day that like the Cohen said that you have this extra muzzle it's the day Hashem decided that the world needed you so every day when you revisit the decision he made that the world needed you you have an extra level of muzzle so don't squander don't waste it give out we believe you should give other people the rabbit felt on your birthday you get an Alia in the Shabbos before your birthday and on your birthday you should give more taka and you're diving harder on your birthday and you should say the to hillem that corresponds with your age of that birthday and you should um and you should give Brothers use the extra Muzzle you have on that day to give out bracos now all of this assumes what birthday are we talking about not your Gregorian who the heck cares it means absolutely nothing birthday but all of this is assuming which day would Republic say you have extra Mazel which day can you give others which day are you protected which day have you been spared from Curry so you've achieved longevity of 70 years maybe make a shakiano it's all assuming your Hebrew birthday that's the Hashem decided the world needed you to exist your Gregorian birthday means nothing cornished except maybe for how you fill out government forms it means when you can start collecting Social Security but it means nothing absolutely nothing it is tragic absolutely tragic in my humble opinion that we are raising children we live in a world where everyone knows their English birthday and at least wives know their English anniversary and nobody knows their Hebrew birthday nobody knows their Hebrew anniversary your English anniversary means garnished the Hebrew anniversary is the day the two halves became a whole it's the day that the the Declaration that Pascal became fulfilled when two Souls met each other and became complete it has nothing to do with the men you're entitled to forget your English anniversary it means nothing anyway but the Hebrew anniversary the Hebrew birthday I won't ask by a show of hands how many people here even know their Hebrew birthday it's a very holy congregation if you don't shame on you until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy