Parsha Perspectives for Today (Kedoshim, 5782) - Be Chashuv

good morning bogartov and welcome back to partial perspectives for today as always we begin with our attitude of gratitude to those who sponsor enable the sheer the serious sponsors for the year dear friends becky and i'll be cats and family in memory of becky's father david grossman mishmas this morning shear is also dedicated by the aegis and fox families to commemorate the seventh year at sight of dr saul aegis show gershwin very special man very special families pamela dr prosper a big bull or good friends of commemoration of the earth sight of prosperous father western greenberg eliezer ben mayer on the 12th of er big thank you to the balls for this and so much more and sponsored anonymously commemoration of the earth sid of tevris basaran on the third of er they all those the shamans having aliyah and thank you to our generous sponsors we have the privilege at least here in hutzler we're now on a different schedule than our brothers and sisters in israel for now until we catch up we have the privilege of learning pasha's kedoshan page 656 in the earthquake stone hamish parshas kedoshan is chock full of mitzvos it is a rich parsha it has an incredible list of litany of mitzvos and between man and man as well and trying to make sense of the order and the organization and the chronology of these mitzvoths is a big exercise in its own right but we begin with the opening words upon which we could spend not one hour of any partial class we could spend the rest of the day the rest of the week the rest of our lives of the more god spoke to moshe that bear i'll call it does bernie say i'll speak to the entire gathering of the jewish people an unusual description we see it elsewhere a das ben israel not just bene israel but adas pena israel these instructions were given in front of everybody collectively this was a message that was important to in part not second or third hand and not individually but collectively to communicate and to get across on a communal level why because rove goofy torah to lulu the principles of values the core of torah is dependent on understanding this mission and this mandate that is quite an introduction so everybody was brought together big town hall meeting a community event why so that moshe could tell them kiddosham to you you need to be holy what does that mean tell them kiddoshim to you be holy hashem why should you be holy because there's nothing sweeter than the sounds of children so it's children on the playground i don't know if it's being picked up those listening online but it's sweet sounds sweet sounds of children so we should be happy so what is that message that goofy that everything depends on the message of kedosham to you be holy good what is holy this permeates our entire religious experience people recite kaddish when they love to lose a loved one we respond to the khasang we say kedusha we say on friday night yantif we say kidnish some form of this verb pesach night the seder began not with kiddish but kadesh which some commentators point out i know you're not in the mood for a pesach torah right now but some commentators point out that it's kadesh not kiddish because it's not just something we recite it's not just something that we say it's not just a text or liturgy it's not a script it's kadesh go sanctify yourself be holy the problem is how do we define holiness what does it mean be holy kedoshum to you and why why should we be holy it's not a mystery it's not a secret torah tells us be holy why god says i'm holy i root for the yankees you should root for the yankees that's by the way one of the definitions of of holiness first place 10 in a row just getting your hopes up for no reason at all but in other words we'll have the aloha el falfe of course but is that what the torah means god says this is who i root for this is the song i like this is the fashion i wear so this is what i do you should do it too is there something more fundamental so something much much deeper going on here so we'll see a few interpretations as i said we could spend the rest of our time together on this we won't because there's so much more in the passion to see but we'll see a few some that may be familiar to you and some that are new and some that are new so we'll start with roshkop shimon shkap the great russian shiva shemin yoshi who for a short time was the rebbe and rebukes university so he works off of the measures the mentors tells us you might think you should be holy like i'm holy talmud my holiness is greater is more elevated goes above and beyond your holiness so you might think be holy and be like god he's holy no no no god's holiness is categorically different what was the havoc what did you think originally and how did we correct that thought what was the concern and how did we repair it so he says the following the assault of this mitzvah of kadusa rashi writes is prusion to you what is holy holy doesn't mean anything to us holy is a christian word a catholic word as jews we don't know what the word holy means holy holy holy what does that mean what are we trying to do and be what is our mission and mandate to our our children as one contemporary writer writes we don't live for happiness we live for holiness condoshim to you we don't live for happiness our lives are not driven by the ambition for happiness it's a modern invention whoever said you're entitled to be happy whoever he said you could find happiness whoever knows what happiness is we don't live for happiness we live for holiness so what is holiness so rasheed says prusum to you be distinguished be separate be a part be different be elevated push them withdraw it doesn't only mean ascetic it means you live with temptation and desire every one of us every human being is made up of two dimensions we live in two dimensions we're made up of two instincts we have an animal instinct we have a nephesh bahama with an animal inside us and that animal says do what you want when you want how you want give in to that temptation give in to that urge give it that instinct act and live compulsively but then we have we also have a godly soul and a godly spirit that says no be disciplined be dignified be in control separate yourself be apart and different and distinguished and elevated says rashford kedusha holiness what is holy by being different by being elevated that's very interesting the rambam of his 14 books is yada kazakha the ramen is a book called kedusha and what laws do you find in the rambam's book called kedusha i would have thought you'd find what's in kaduships what's in conducive kippur shabbos or the holiest days where the holiest activities that's not what you find that you know what to find there the laws of food and the laws of intimacy and you have the laws of relations between a husband and wife that's in kedush in holiness and the answer is yes judaism doesn't expect or demand or want us to live an ascetic life what judaism wants us to do is not find holiness by escaping or transcending the physical world judaism wants us to experience the physical world but differently in a more distinguished way eat just not what you want where you want how you want when you want why you want eat when it's kosher be sensitive is it meat is it dairy don't go near dairy only eat meat no that's my law it's not the torah's law but judaism says be conscious and conscientious of what you're eating and how do you do that kedusha holiness but not like the rest of the world just eating compulsively make abraham before make a bracha after make sure it's kosher and so on and so forth same issue when it comes to intimacy we don't believe and we see the other systems that do believe what a failure it is because that's not the way the human mind and psyche were designed that you don't become holy through a life of celibacy we see the terrible things that result when people are told be celibate your entire life we believe holiness is get married the holier you are in judaism you're not less married or less obligated in intimacy and the pleasure that comes from marriage not less greatest godol easter all the greatest rashes yeshiva the greatest of the holiest women men have lots of children and lots of love and lots of affection and lots of intimacy because holiness is not living transcendent or apart or or without celibacy or vow of abstinence or asceticism holiness is engaging the world but in a separate different distinguished way so rashi writes kadoshan to use pushing to you and also expands on that with arayas and so on and so forth so says the following he says how do you understand this madrish why would i think that through precious through not eating whatever i want and not acting like an animal in my interpersonal relationships and relations that i'd be like god the torah says whoa careful you think you could be like god no need to do silence strive and aspire for holiness but be careful don't think you can be as holy as god your holiness is different why would i think i could be and what's the conclusion i can't be what's going on so he says the following you might think that really we have the same brand or the same type of kedusha he just has more of it and we have less of it so shimon says that's not it mitsubishi mints this mitzvah condition three kudos to you defines for us it is our mission statement is our bumper sticker it is our mandate it is who we are as a people it's what we're to communicate to our children and our progeny those who come afterwards a cloud means be benevolent be a giver do for others be selfless not selfish you know what is unholy ego selfishness narcissism when you think the world revolves around you when you care only about your happiness and your success when you micromanage and you force everyone around you to bend and submit to you that's entirely unholy you know what holiness is holiness is be a giver be a doer live for others not to the point of self neglect not to the point of self harm but the way you should nourish your own soul and find fulfillment is by being selfless not selfless not selfish is overcoming the ego and the impulse and the desire that the world needs to conform to me but to give and to do and to care about the clown about others to derive pleasure and enjoyment and happiness through holiness which is by the way shimon has this magnificent insight in his aktama to ashari yoshi but modern psychology and research is only catching up to what our torah already knew thousands of years ago because it finds in fact you know how you're happy you're not happy when you take you're not happy when you invest in yourself you're not happy when you feed your own ego it finds that you actually become happier the more you give the more you do the more you care about others modern psychology one of the mechanisms and methods of treating depression it's not to go to the mall and buy new shoes it's not to go on amazon and put in a big order but rather you treat depression by volunteering go volunteer go get outside yourself go give to others it's not the only answer there needs to be support and therapy and help and of course we're all for that may is mental health month but one of the treatments for depression is to volunteer to give to do that's kedusha so it's not just that we don't live for happiness we live for holiness it's that when you live for holiness you know what happens you find happiness so yahoo kamoni says if sherman if you understand that that's what holiness is that kedusha is holiness is a life where you see others and care about others and now you understand the whole rest of our parsha because kedosham to you is all about stakka and giving and not taking revenge and loving everyone as yourself and all the mitzvahs of kidoshim are an extension of kidoshim to you all the mitzvahs in our parasha are okay here's how to live not an egocentric life here's how to live an other centric life here's how to live for the thou not the i here's how to be a giver not a taker here's how to live for holiness and thereby to find happiness so yahoo now we also understand you might have had the havamina you might have thought that we could be altruistic and benevolent and giving and caring like god says god no you know why because god built into us and our psyche that we get something out of even when we give i feel really good we do not and we are not capable of having an absolute altruism a pure benevolence why did god create the world why did god create us beyond the scope of our time this morning but why did god create us it was the ultimate act of giving had we not been created we never would have missed being here and god didn't create us because he needs us because god has no need he's infinite omnipotent perfect so why did he create us to give us the greatest good and the greatest pleasure that exists in the world and what is that a relationship with him access and contact to the divine so that is the ultimate act of giving in which god gives nothing back we human beings are built and designed to get the satisfaction of fulfillment the joy of giving even the greatest giving which is the chase the members of the holy sepulchre kadisha even the members of the holy family khadijah a very sacred society that we don't share what we do when when we do it into whom we did it and the recipient of that can never repay but still we go home and we're proud and there's a little happiness and a little satisfaction that i'm a member of the fabric there's a little kickback built in just because that's the way human beings are so that's if you understand what kedusha is then you understand what shimon says what the havamina was that we could be holy like god but while we should be holy in the sense that we should be focused out not in but we can never be as purely altruistic as god is because that's not the way the human being is okay that's from shimon i think we've shared that in previous years that's from shimon i want to share some new perspectives on kedushim to you and we'll start with isaac sher the great rashishima slobodka the great revising share off of rash and condition to you and the ramban van barrett at length unpacks that rashi and what that means that holiness is not celibacy and abstinence and asceticism that's another religion that's not our religion that's another religion the only true religion our religion understands that holiness is not rooted in escaping or avoiding or neglecting or trying to transcend holiness is indulge in joy hashem wants us to have pleasure that's why he created us this is based on apostles you know why we're here le his hashem what's the real word what's own egg it's not just a friday night get together with cookies and wafers what's an own egg pleasure so why did god create the world and why did god create you and me you know why what's that pleasure they didn't teach us that necessarily as children judaism is about sacrifice and submission and giving and no judaism is about hashem wants you to be happy so you know how you find happiness with shabbos what do you mean all the things i can't do right but you know what the freedom and the liberty that comes from shabbos kashus the tyranny of choice i recently described in another context do you know what torture it is to go to the supermarket to the salad dressing aisle do you know how many choices of salad dressing are in the salad dressing aisle right now you could spend the rest of your day the rest of your life there and if you're a person who has fomo or if i bought the word more wow but that one's better how do i know it so jesus castras let me limit your choices enormously and that's going to liberate you that's not going to constrict you it's going to liberate you it's going to refocus you and pivot you to what matters so hashem says i want you to be happy and i'm creating an entire system to preserve and protect and to expand your sense of of happiness that's what it's all about that's what it's all about so it says rising share the following there's another idea to kedusha and that is we'll see you later in sephora who is the one who's described as holy and we have to treat him or them with greater holiness what group are we talking about the kohanam the kohanam are treated with great honor and respect they get the first elite dimension they can wash their hands first they we don't ask them to do things for us how do we treat them significant it's meaningful they matter to weighty there's shivas but you know the more hush of you are the more apart you live you're not casual and you're not accessible and you're not mixed in with the with that masses and the amaha you carry yourself in a hush away and you live socially in a hush of way and you behave in a hush of way so says isaac share you see in that context that the kohanam as a group and as individuals are treated the word that's used as kadosh why because another definition or translation of the word kadosh is khashv significant important matters distinguished elevated so why do we live elevated lives because we are elevated people why do we seek to elevate the act of eating you know the bali musser the bali mustard would never lean in when they ate a spoonful of soup they wouldn't you know why you don't go to the food food comes to you what are you so arrogant food comes to you no you're so elevated i have to eat because i need to eat to live but i don't live to eat i'm not bowing down to the food i don't go to the food the food comes to me they would lift the spoon to them and sit it's great there was a tailor on staff a bachelor boy couldn't enter the basement was missing a button and slobodka produced her by tites of jakob kaminetsky and rafael people of distinction i discussed in ravites you were in his presence you were in a hush of a person the way he carried himself who he was his demeanor not gaiva not arrogance but he projected an aura that this this is of what we're doing what we're learning how we're living what our mission and our mandate are in the world so says of isaac share the great moser he says that's what producing to you means to you take yourself seriously take what you do seriously take your lifestyle seriously it's not a joke it's meaningful and it matters and we have a mandate to make a difference and he goes on and on and he has many examples but i can't believe what time it is already but he quotes something that we wash our hands before the meal we wash your hands after the meal and that is how you understand the puzzle make yourself holy be some kedoshima and you'll be holy one is talking about washing your hands before the meal went what are you talking about holiness washing your hands it's a hygiene you talk about holiness it's basic hygiene not holiness and the answer is hygiene is holiness when everyone else is digging in and plowing and shoveling it in their face because the animal impulse the animal instinct says i'm hungry the hush of a person says let me go wash up let me go wash my hands let me make a bracha on the teal what does the word mean does not mean to wash how do you know the word netillas does not mean to wash because you also make another bracha that includes the word nitilas what are the bracha al-nateel is lu love do you wash your lulov tilas lula is not a bracha and i'm about to wash my lulu what does it mean i'm about to elevate my lulu this this little vanessa kadasa they grow from the ground before circus they're worthless and after circus they're worthless but right now they cost a lot of money because i'm elevating them from the ground in which they grow when i wash my hands on the tila the black is not to wash my hands on the tila these hands they're not just to pursue human temptation desire on the telus i'm elevating myself after the meal it's toast whether you wash my macho today or not if she doesn't i follow my rebbe based on the rama rama says we don't wash today we don't have that salt all this stuff the minute to wash my machine forget the but the notion that the meal ends and you don't just run to your next activity you don't loosen your belt and belch and pass out on the couch you'll do that after benching but first first you go to the sink or they bring the beautiful silver vessel to you it's a russian way to begin a meal and it's a hush a way to end the meal so it says of isaac sheriff every time you see that word kadosh kedusha these kadish and kadoshan translate as hashem it's a hush of activity it's a hashem demeanor to hush the disposition it's a hush of a mandate and mission it's a hush of role in this world and i wish i could again read to you he has many makotos and many examples of seeing that word kedusha and being able to translate as khashogg and that's what it really that's what it really means okay but a few more writes that he saw from one of the rishonim a manuscript from one of the he was shown him afraid of mizuman a third definition first definition was of shimon shkap what is kedusha selflessness caring about others investing in the clown second definition of isaac shearer third definition comes from the khidak the khida writes quoting one of the rishonim that the word means it means ready designated reserved his cache what does that mean his couch be holy tomorrow and eat me not be holy tomorrow what does it mean be prepared make a reservation be ready be mindful so according to that what does kidoshima you mean be ready we have our volunteer security you train them and what do you say to them be ready when i was in little league shortstop second baseman the outfielder how do you train them in little league in particular you got the kids in the middle of again you could see one on the outfield the adrian the shortstop in the middle his mind wanders to what his mother's making for supper that night you say no no the hole you teach you crouch down hold your mid open glove be ready be ready the ball might come to you be ready be ready so that's kedusha the third definition for today again they're countless understandings interpretations they're multiple levels and layers they're all right it's the beauty of the elevativity is not one right definition well that's right then the other is wrong no the different understanding explanation somebody two people are standing on opposite sides of an elephant one describes the trunk the other describes the tail so who's right both they're looking at it from a different angle and i've told us who's right is kedusha hashibas is it mizumanum is it they're looking from different angles and different perspectives and they're all right and giving us great great insight into what it means so kadoshanti means mizumanum crash down open your mid be ready there's a mitzvah it's going to come your way there's a choice to see hashem feel his presence in your life it's going to come your way live life with your antenna extended be ready be prepared pick up the signal you're here for a mission and a purpose be ready you don't know who's going to bagel you online at publix you don't know be ready be ready when you're going to discover a lost object at an airport and make the decision you're going to take it because you're going to find the right full on be ready kadosham to you mizumanum to you be ready don't sleepwalk through life don't be half asleep keep your eyes open keep your antennae extended pick up the signal of the mitzvahs and the opportunities around you kedosham to umanim to you says based on this region be ready be ready a third definition such a beautiful beautiful definition fourth definition for today he says the following quotes from the immediate why did i think i could be like hashem hashem i'm only your holy we're the same holy hashem says whoa we're both holy but what does that mean hashem's holiness we read previously last week hashem's holiness is different than ours why we read last week we spoke about in last week's passion perspective has the ability to dwell among us even when we are impure unworthy even when we're in our tumma even when we're contaminated and unholy and distanced still he lives with us so maybe i'll think of understands so maybe if kedusa means i'm sorry this is the way uh frank the chief rabbi you shall aim the hearts he understands maybe if holiness means caring about others thinking outside of yourself being selfless being a giver so i have to give in the greatest way you know how let me go find the most tumundika people let me go find the lowest segment of society let me go live among the community that is on the lowest level and just like hashem is besotted i could also live among those with tama whoa hashem says be careful my kedusha is immunible it's impenetrable it's it cannot be corrupted or compromised i can do that you need to surround yourself with positive reinforcements and role models we have to be careful the friends we choose and the environment we choose and that way our kedusha is different says and the last although there's so many more i'll share with you the hillary cut the helicopter and this beautiful say foreign collection of the kotzker's teachings and those from the basement of kosk human being you could be holy holy every human being needs a bathroom you need a bathroom i'm going to be holy it's humbling paro wanted to think he was so arrogant he was such a god such a deity that he tried to present he was going to denial before everyone woke up he snuck out but you know it's the great equalizer of all of humanity you could be a multi-gazillionaire billionaire trillionaire you can be on tom kesham everybody's gotta go to the bathroom dear human being and as a human being we have a physicality and it distracts us and it distorts and clouds our judgment we've seen people of great accomplishment brilliant charismatic successful they throw it all away throw it all away why boss are dumb because they're human beings and the temptations of the flesh they throw it all away so when does the cuts girl how do you say to a simple boss of them be holy be holy how can you be holy we're flesh and blood we are mere mortals we are future worm food sorry to be depressing and to be so blunt but we're pathetic and we fall apart and we get old and we decay and we rot and things stop working and we can't control it we have temptation we have desire and we struggle and we fail and ultimately when it's all over even if we merit to live a ripe old age and a long life we go on the ground where we disintegrate and disappear and maggots eat our flesh and that's what god's saying kadoshan to you be holy be holy tell the angels to be holy says the gospel you're telling us how could we be holy says daily gakutsker you know that's how the pasta continues kedoshum to you be holy go ahead me only you know how much i struggle on the internet you know how much i struggle with my eating you know how much i struggle with lashinara will get to in the pasture i should be only i'm a pathetic lowly nebucha reject ice bar worm food i should be holy i could be only what are you talking about do you know what i do when no one's looking do you know what i do when people are looking i should be holy ki kado shania you know why because i'm holy says god well what does that have to do with my holiness how does that make me holy so shame says hashem says buddy lady you know why i'm confident you could be holy even though you're a human being because you're right on the one hand you have everything in common with an animal you eat you eliminate what you ate you procreate you live in a world of temptation you have an animal instinct an animal impulse you're an animal you're right but that's not all you are you know what else you are you have a piece of me and you you have my dna in you it says hashem it's not that you're like me or similar to me or you want to be like me you are me you carry my dna you carry my strength and my skill and my courage and my sense of discipline and my dignity you have it in you you have that capability and you have the capacity just tap into it discover it realize it express it promote it live it be confident that you have it you can be holy i how can i be holy i'm an animal i'm tempted to act like an animal but you're also a piece of me kidusha see you have ki kadasha me because you have me in you that's what the shin is elsewhere do you know what it's like it's midnight it's 1am you're just finishing work you just come home you really have no reason to eat you're still full it's the dumbest time in the world to eat but those cape cod potato chips are calling out to you they're screaming your name and they're saying you fill the higher animals stuff your face with me the salt the crunch ah it's worth it it's worth it you deserve it you had a stressful day you worked hard today there's some fast day coming up sometime in the future just just indulge jump in eat you'll just have one that's how the atara works just a little salt a little crunch just one a good one you'll find those 17 folds just a good one kettle kettle cooked you know not the half of one you'll find a good one you know what i'm talking about fold it over 17 times like a gavaltica crunch you just take the one you just take the one the next thing you know you're on the bottom of a jumbo bag from costco and you hate yourself that's it i'm talking about my neighbor theoretically i have no knowledge of such an experience so you say do you know what i am i'm a pathetic lowly i i shouldn't that i didn't want to and i swore i wouldn't and i feel gross after i'm just i'm a nothing hashem says you're in everything it's okay you failed this time you'll win next time these are battles you lost the value you'll win the next battle how are you going to win the what next battle because in that moment that you confront that cabinet there's a lot of strategies to how to win the battle i'm told there's a lot of strategies but one of them is is there's a piece of hashem at you you have the strength you have that strength in you now where is that strength and how can i discover that strength the more will i find that strength we have that strength says how can i transform and how can i convert myself how can i overcome my nature do you know my natural pull do you know my nature somebody flies off the handle somebody gets filled with rage somebody screams at their spouse or their children they ruin their relationships and when they're confronted they say what can i do this is my nature i hear people all the time i'm aspiring i'm a this i'm a that i'm a coyote you know people i'm a redhead whatever they want to come up with this is my fiery nature what can i do this is my teva this is my nature what can i do it's my nature what can i do you're right it is your nature do you know what else is your nature you have a natural inclination to be godly because that's also part of your nature yes there's the animal nature in us that we contend with but there's also the sparkles inside us that strength is in our dna we have it we have all kinds of ashkenazi diseases in our dna and if you believe you got that from your parents then believe you got godliness from our great avenue our greatest parent so says the kotzker to you and you know how and why you should be confident and believe and strong and resilient says god because i'm holy and i'm in you and you are me and that's why it's beautiful you should read the same the rest of the shame ishmael but we want to get past the first possible today possibly get test parachute test possible let's make some time here ishmael valencia so have a sense of awe of fear of your father and your mother of your mother and your father and observe my shambis why these two both here in succession why are they here together why are they in the same possuk have all fear yeara when it comes to our parents we have two mitzvahs love your appearance have awe and fear of your parents as parents we don't want our children to have fear of us it's a poor translation of jira i don't think here is fear when they're young there's year of this fear going to take away your device i'm going to put you in time out this year but what's our ultimate hope as a parent it's not that your child has fear what do you want them to have oh respect honor so covetous honor and they manifest itself in a lock in different ways come and you have to bring them a drink or newspaper their slippers heroes don't sit in the seat or contradict them in public manifest in different ways but ultimately the emotions that go with it we want love ava we want love we want our children to feel attached and connected and love us and we want them to have a sense of awe we want them to respect us we want them to want to continue in our way to feel a sense of awe that they would never disappoint and that they would never want to violate our trust or our dreams for them so what is that doing and of course the famous gemara why is the mother first when it comes to all the father first when it comes to respect because it goes against our nature so it has to put in the opposite order but why is it connected with shabbos what does that do with shabbos and why does it end honor your fa have all of your mother and father and observe shabbos and again in case you forgot since the last passage keeps flexing do this do this to this do the next thing next thing the next thing if you hesitate we got it we know you took us out of egypt we stood at your mountain split the sea and you've reminded us every three seconds why does it keep reminding us the first time the torah's given pastor it does not mention as god commanded you but the second set second time it's given in partisan it mentions as god commanded you when it comes to two of the ten menthols namely honoring shabbos observing shabbos and honoring parents why why says that for the following reason because you know what these two mitzvots have in common are the jewish people the only people who honor their parents no it's a rational mitzvah it makes sense in fact we have a tradition that non-jews honor their parents even better than we do we learn from ace of russia who had a tremendous sense of honor for his father and the gemara tells the story we have examples from whom do we learn how to honor parents in fact are non-jews shabbos are we the only ones who have a day off a week no we may have introduced the world to it but others also discovered on their own or copied us and concluded that's a good idea because if you overwork you'll burn out in a day off a week so says specifically these two mitzvos you could be driven to do them why because rationally they make sense so torah has to tell us don't do it because it makes sense you know why you should do it because god commanded you you could honor your parents as a rational experience or you could honor your parents as a religious experience the two separate things you could take a day off a week as a rational experience it makes sense don't burn out you deserve it a day off a week or you could take a wee day off a week as a religious experience and that's why these two go together says because both of these you could have concluded on your own rationally therefore the torah has to tell us don't do it because you concluded it do it why because because i am hashem do it because it's a religious experience not just a rational experience what is the difference between the two for another time keep going test possible we are turning two pages don't get whiplash page 660 on this long litany and that's why it ends in hashem that's how the official explains all of your mother and father on keep shabbos i'm hashem does he have to keep flexing and telling us now why is he telling us he's telling us i want you to do it for this reason not because it also makes sense to you great i'll tell you a beautiful tartar now you ready fascinating beautiful part don't commit perversion of justice don't leak a draft of the court's conclusion that's unjust whatever you feel about its conclusion but leaking it is unjust what does that mean judge your fellow righteously judge them righteously suggest to judges to the system the court system and it's addressed to all of us dr ashi what does rashford say here on this passage what does she say he quotes from khazal have they done which means two business address not only courts and judges but every one of us judge the moment we wake up in the morning we judge we judge what kind of day it will be we judge how good we look in our outfit we judge how good the other person we may live with looks in their outfit who judge the people and what they said and what time they got to shul and how well the hazard we are judges and we are judgmental and we are judging from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep you're judging whether this show is worth coming to right now everyone's judging so torah tells us judge favorably it's interesting it doesn't say don't judge because we can't really turn off that switch because thinking is judging we're making judgments we're making judgments should i have this that for lunch or that for lunch we're making judgments about svara and russian tasteless judgments are good being judgmental is bad so if you're going to judge because we have this inclination to judge make ourselves condition ourselves at least to judge favorably okay good so far so good good not just addressing the judges we're addressing the judges in each and every one of us that when we judge judge favorably good [Music] if you judge others favorably hashem is going to judge you favorably you like that teaching just like you judged me favorably hashem should judge you favorably nice teaching if you judge favorably hashem will judge you favorably what are you talking about what does don lacazette mean it means i'm missing some facts and i could draw one or one of two conclusions so tara says you know what be a nice guy be a nice woman judge the other person favorably so you see somebody coming out of mcdonald's so judge them favoritely they needed a bathroom they bought a diet coke don't judge them that they were eating non-kosher someone came late to shul judge them favorably that on their way to show there was a hassan they needed to do to help somebody cross the street and they weren't late because they don't care about dominating judge them favorably so when are we told to judge favorably when we're missing information or facts and we could arrive at different conclusions arrive at a positive one because that's a nice thing to do that's what a nice person does and that and if you do that hashem is going to judge you let me know i'm going to judge you favorably hashem's not missing any facts he knows what you did at mcdonald's he knows why you're late to shul he knows everything he knows everything and he knows and tests what's in our heart what's in our kishka within our kidneys but hey there's so when there's no suffix when there's no doubt when there's no missing information you're not judging then the information the facts are the facts the facts speak for themselves you don't need judges when facts speak for themselves so what in the world does it mean if you judge favorably hashem will judge you favorably good question i think it's a good question and i judge that it was worth your coming today for that question so the megan yosef from swarovski the megan yosef such beautiful tote i'm so happy he gave me a safer he quotes from schneider almost we begin almost as per shabbos in the first paragraph of us that we read this past year it says the following have they done is cola kosher tishma love scavenger whatever you hear about someone assume favorably judge them favorably until you hear that you can't anymore until you know until you become aware of the facts in such a way they present themselves in such a way that you simply can't judge them favorably people are complex and life is complex and there's so much that goes into a person do we know a person's background do we know what they're contending with do we know their baggage do we know their predispositions do we know their genetics do we know their hang ups their mother their father do we know they're obeying when they were young there's so much in a person's background we know so little about them we know so little about their motivation and their intent and what drives them and what led them to become who they are how many times in your life did you know someone and you came to a conclusion about them you have an opinion about them and it's only after you know them a long time did you learn the father died when they were six months old their mother had seven jobs they basically raised themselves they went through this they went through that they went through the other thing i'm making this up whatever their stories and i say you know what i feel so bad about the conclusions i reached about them had i known their life story the narrative of their life i i never would have seen them the way i saw them i never would have thought about them the way i think about them i see them in entirely new light wow how they persevered how they've overcome how they've broken through so you know what those hang ups that that's all i ever saw about them that's nothing compared to who they could be with the background they have have you had that experience a person doesn't wear it on their sleeve you don't know what about them you met them later in life and only when you learn about their experiences or what they went through earlier in life can you really begin to appreciate even just the surface of who they are people are complicated complex we say in our zaka that's beautiful before called injury called nigeria night we say golovkin hashem only you know that the things that i did i didn't do them to anger you said i went after my inclination you know hashem nobody else knows but you know because you know what's in my heart my kish goes in my kidneys you know what i struggle with the temptation the desire the opportunity you know the hang-ups i have you know what my parents have passed on to me and i'm struggling to not pass on to the next generation you know my neuroses and my anxieties and my worries you know what it takes for me to earn a buck and provide for my family you know how there's so little time in the day what i'm trying to do to get it all done that's what we're saying i'm going into him kipper i'm coming to appear before you on judgment day i will be in your court so i'm just telling you that you know me better than anyone else so whatever the lawyer will say on my behalf whatever conclusion you'll come to today you know what's inside me and nobody else can or will that's what we say kimchi called god i just want to remind you that you know everything about me i can't hide anything from you you not only know the external manifestations how i live you know everything that makes me tick inside yeah i was like yeah i do i got it i know it so you don't have to tell me she has so why are we saying that we're advocating on our own behalf and how is that an expression of advocacy what we're saying to hashem hashem externally i did it guilty is charged but internally you know what drives me so please don't focus on the external act have some compassion and flexibility because you know the internal drive filizaka um megan yosef now we know that now we understand what we're appealing to from hashem when i see somebody act around me i can either look and judge and conclude only based on the external act or i could say you know what i'm not focused on the act i'm sure there are things that they're going through internally that i don't even know they're fighting battles i know nothing about so just like where we put our focus and attention when it comes to others then hashem will focus that when it comes to us so you're right how can you compare when it comes to others we don't have information that's why we're judging favorably when it comes to us he knows everything so what do you mean judging fit say even though you know everything don't focus on the external act have compassion and flexibility because you also know the internal struggle you know who we are and what we've gone through and what our lives are about and we're begging and appealing to you to be flexible and to be compassionate others recorded received as a frank his son-in-law his son-in-law writes notice the mission of doesn't say have they done what does it say have they done s what do you mean it's an extra word why does it say judge the entire person favorably you know what the answer is if i zoom in the lens on this moment in time i say ah this russian marusha ah but if i zoom out the lens cola is having done his cola i say you know what the total picture of that person is pretty good so i caught them in a bad moment and that's also true in terms of how to be a good friend because it's the same mishna same mishna nova says be a good friend and judge the whole person around you favorably meaning you know what a good friend is the good friend says you know i sent the text and you never wrote back so either i can decide i'm going to fight and i'm not doing and i'm not reaching out again and i always initiate then let me get back to me so you could zoom out the lens and have it say you know this is a good friend we've been through a lot together thick and thin we've cried and we've mourned and we've celebrated we've danced i'm going to be judge kola adam i'm going to judge the whole person and the whole relationship not just this moment in time and when we do that we say hashem look at the big picture of my life you caught me at a bad moment guilty is charged i did the wrong thing but if we see the totality of the other person instead of only that little act then hashem will see the totality of us instead of only that little act that he caught each time he's not flexing he doesn't need us to remember why is he saying it because there's something about that mitzvah where it's important to remember he is us he is in us so what is this mitzvah do don't be a gossip monger don't share washing hara don't spread la shanhara i told you i don't remember when i was growing up there was a guy in my show who used to say i don't repeat los angeles so listen carefully the first time don't be a gossip among your people and don't stand idly by what do these two things have to do with each other what's the question it should say don't speak it doesn't say don't speak asap what does it say nobody ever heard that word before other than on the possible we have certain biblical english words that we never use in any other context gossip monger is one of them i wouldn't recommend trying that casually with your non-jewish friend at work the word gossip monger not a very popular word so lace where does it come from it doesn't say don't speak gossip it says don't transport gossip don't travel for gossip don't go to gossip don't go to so why does it say don't go to gossip it should say don't speak gossip says because it's telling us that not only is speaking gossip what's prohibited and what's wrong even just going aside from the content of what's spoken is the willingness to be to travel to go to be in the circles of those who are speaking gossip and based on this what clash of legends explains when it came to the when it came to the miragum the apostle says you went for 40 days so therefore for 40 years you'll wander in the desert a year for each day a year for each day so what's the question everyone asks what do you mean a year for a day the sin of the spies how long and when was the sin of the spies how long did it last did it last 40 days it lasted one day they came back from the trip you know when they were in israel they didn't go to the underground they were they weren't doing wrong things in israel they weren't eating uh it's when they came back and they were meant to report and they reported negatively instead of positively they failed to be done as collarity strolling right they highlighted the things that would reflect or portray in a poor light rather than see the big picture they spoke lush and heart about israel about eretz so how long was their mistake one day not 40 days so why do they have to wander for 40 years says it was 40 days you know why it was 40 days because they walked all air to throw all organizing their gossip and ready to share the gossip and traveling to the gossip that's all part of the experience of the gossip not just the formal speech which is prohibited but it's being part of that community and it's going towards that effort and it's going for that purpose that is a problem a difference don't stand by while your brother's blood is being spilled what are the two things have to do together so he says the following he says you might think i can't speak lashinara someone's about to do business with another person so you know i've taken my life savings and i've mortgaged my home and i'm investing with so-and-so and you know so-and-so is a thief you know so-and-so is a fraud you know someone so has embezzled countless money but you say it says so the torah tells us don't hide behind muslim when there's lost klaus saw a tragedy earlier this year of the very prominent children's author who had turned out was abusive and horrifically abusive and you know there was a segment of the community but hashem it was a negligible tiny and very quickly silenced segment of the community who said it's washing hara don't use his name don't talk about him you can't speak about him but the real gadoli israel came out and said but also when your brother's blood is going to be spilled if you're silenced and you're going to hide behind lash and hara how many rabbis how many community leaders how many men and women have failed to report dangerous people have failed to confront dangerous people and they hid behind the excuse of its lashing hara so torah says the torah puts in the same puzzle to say true we have a prohibition against but not at the expense of hurting another person it trumps what an important teaching of what an important teaching don't ever use the excuse or hide behind the prohibition of lashanhara to protect somebody who's a danger a threat or as harmed or injured particularly children but for that matter anyone next you test possibly zion a couple more here give me two more minutes next passage we're going right now in order don't hate your brother in your heart and don't bear his hate by not confronting and by not rebuking what's going on so rabbi yonah writes something in charity chufa the great don't hate your brother in your heart rabbiniyano comes along and says we are warned here we're cautioned here to remove hatred now that's not what it says it says don't hate your brother in your heart to what treben leona understands condition yourself to never have hatred remove and eliminate hatred so what happened because explains that rebecca yonah is not defining the prohibition differently he's giving us the methodology and the strategy how to fulfill it and what he's saying is the following if you're a person who's capable of hatred then you're going to find people that you hate but if you eliminate hatred such that you never feel it hatred is an anathema to you hatred is intolerable to you hatred is something you're incapable of then you're never going to hate the other you'll never hate the other last week we had yamashita yamashawa very powerful yamasha program sam ron a survivor 98 years old he's hit by a polish family and then he was in the concentration camp slave labor camp survived the death march moved to palestine was shot at by arabs fought in the israeli army and the founding of the state his life story is just incredible he said something he said something that i've heard from another prominent survivor in our community it was interested not coordinated when i said what is the message you want to leave on yamashawa what do you want to tell us and the next generations of what is the takeaway of yamashawa he said never hate hate is what began it all confront oppose challenge but never allow yourself to hate that word that feeling that emotion hate it now yes there is this notion of holy hatred in the sense but it doesn't mean hate there either as an emotion it's dictating an action a verb what we need to do to confront that which is inconsistent with hashem's vision for this world norman frajman another great survivor who was in the warsaw ghetto survived by donick and told us the same message eliminate hatred and that's how defensive leverage explains this be incapable of hate just be capable of hate don't be capable of hating and then even when someone has done something which may be deserving of your hatred you won't hate you know why you're incapable of hating you may withdraw you may want nothing to do with you may hold accountable but you're not going to hate and how is it you won't hate because you've eliminated you simply have become incapable of hating when you're becoming capable of hating then we'll never hate oh there was such a beautiful nachman i want to tell you such a beautiful there's a hundred interpretations how do you love your neighbor as yourself ramnach says that's not what it's talking about he says we have to larae but i just gave you a little hint but we'll have to share it next year please that's what this time is all about became a student sphere that's why we're all scruffy and itchy and we're all missing our music we how do we answer we have the kiva who watched and buried 24 000 students said that he says i saw so much torah but it was no nago khabib i taught and i saw and i was so proud to build yeshivas with so much torah but they didn't respect one another so you know what they call god with all the learning is so what does that mean we'll have to do next time until next time stay happy healthy stay healthy and stay holy