Parsha Perspectives for Today (Chayei Sarah 5784/2023) - Your Days Testify About You

may it be a good morning and a good day for cl we should hear yesu of course all of our hearts all of ouros it's not on all of our hearts all of ouros all of our thoughts and all of our wishes with our brothers and sisters in Israel the members of the IDF they should be successful in a sweeping victory in their mission uh which reminds me right after Shear as always or as we've now begun to do everyone's invited to stay will give it out 30 people stay it'll take just a few minutes to finish all of Saum as part of our Shear we continue to provide these cars flags for the cars we're getting American flags as well let the cars represent our patriotism and gratitude to America and the US Israel relationship don't be afraid don't be defensive don't be shy everywhere you go everywhere you park every Highway you drive on be proud Jews and proudly stand with America and Israel parar page 106 and the Arts girl Stone we remain of course grateful to our generous sponsors Beck and aiats and family sponsored the Pasa Series in memory of David grman this morning she is sponsored by Dr gold Sadowski in honor of kurzer her dear aunt and uncle wonderful people we love the curers and by thank you for your generosity the life of s was 100 years and years and 70 years that was the life of Sarah imanu and we've spoken many times as all do on this para why we begin at such a peculiar fashion why not just much more succinctly say SAR lived 127 years why 100 years and 20 years and seven years I don't like math I never liked math I didn't like it as a kid I don't like it now I don't want to have to add up the numbers just give me the sum total of what it adds up to and there are many interpretations Rashi famously quotes that when she was 100 it's like she was 20 for and when she was 20 like she was seven in terms of her beauty and so on and so forth the medish tells us that Bea students I find this incredibly reassuring Rea students were falling asleep when he was giving Shear the great RAB AA we say to ourselves if we were Rea Shear for one minute be wide awake be listening so attentively and yet the great re AAS you know there's a as as a public person as a r you draw strength from interesting places like morai Mor was R they voted on M's contract shushan was up for extermination elimination anti-semites wanted to destroy Mori is the hero he saves all of shushan and they have a vote are we extending his contract and wouldn't you know it R he got a majority he saved the whole shushan and he got a majority so RI is giving shear and there's people falling asleep right in front of him right in front of him I once gave a Shear someone was sitting in the front row they don't live here anymore I won't embarrass them it was Mish unbelievable I never saw anything like it in my I was watching him doze and the head Bob and I was just watching it happen and he fell into such a deep sleep he fell off the chair onto the ground when he hit the ground he woke up and he jumped back up in the chair and tried to make it like nothing happened and Bar hasem that's why when I meet anesthesiologist I say where we have the same career we're in the same business so Reb AA the great reab AKA and his students fell asleep so he thought how am I gonna wake them up some provocative idea some thought-provoking controversial comment a joke that would have them roaring with laughter Bika said SAR lived 127 years Esther ruled over 127 medos Shin everybody woke up that's what did it so the says what was telling his was s IMA took advantage of every moment of her life every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year her 127 years were full were complete were lived to their fullest and you know what the result was you know what that gave birth to 127 medos when we utilize our time when we Elevate and enrich our time then we mold and shape this world we rule over medos we move the cosmos the impact in the difference we make what he was telling them is why you fast a SCH how could you be sleeping we're learning Torah do you understand the inestimable value do you understand the eternity do you understand the of every moment here and what we do with it Esther merited to rule over 127 medos because SAR took advantage of 127 years of 127 years later in the Pas we'll see that we'll see a few interpretations of it but grows old it's a very interesting expression or phrase what does it mean he came with days what does that even mean the zes makes a comment means that after 120 or 127 why can't it be 127 when we come upstairs you know what escorts us you know what is malav us you know what comes with us or for us our days they testify about us our diary you know what goes upstairs with you and Theon says shash stop telling me how you lived and what you thought was important and what you valued and what you cared about just stop talking for a second show me your Google calendar show me your Outlook calendar show me if you carry around one of those oh you whatever you old school uh calendar show me a calendar show me your days and what you did with them and what you did in them show me me how you spent your time and I'll know everything about you don't tell me show me our calendar testifies to who we are our days come with us our days come with us so will they show that you binged watch Netflix will they show that you filled your time with narish kite will you show that you SM smoed about nothing will they show that they were wasted were they filled with meaning and purpose and change and transformation and an effort to repair and redeem this world at whatever age whatever age it's a theme for no particular reason that we mention at the para class but even if you're retired there's no such thing as Retirement retirement is from your career or your profession but you're never retired in yish Kite from life when your children are young and you're raising a family and trying to pay tuition you're working for a living is when you don't have time to do the meaningful things to fill your day that will come testify on your behalf get in retirement that you can fill your day go to the Shum and stay and say that toim and go check in on somebody and go spend time with somebody and go a volunteer opportunity and go take on a committee and go transform the world because Z our days come and they testify who we are and how we fill them and what we do with them and what we say it doesn't really matter what we say is not what's important it's what we do is who we are and what will reveal and what testifies to what we do nothing more than our calendar maybe our calendar combined with our budget you know what goes upstairs for us Hashem says go sit in the corner and be quiet I don't want to hear anything just give me your calendar and give me your credit card statement and then I'll know everything about you don't tell me H Israel I'm so broken I can't sleep I'm so broken really it's funny I looked at your calendar you didn't make it to too much to Hill him you didn't add any learning I didn't see you volunteer your time to pack duffles and show me your and show me your budget your credit card statement your financial statements oh you were so bothered I didn't see that you you know you gave up some luxury to ensure that displaced families would have some money that soldiers could have their goods and their needs 127 years 127 medos because this is what testifies to who we really are back in the r druk newest grateful to for sharing his new safer with me in his new safer he quotes this Rashi why 120 and7 Torah is always succinct the Torah says things as quickly as possible torah's real estate is the most precious that there is so just say 127 years why 1207 to teach us at 100 like 20 when it comes to she so innocent and pure at 20 she was beautiful as if seven sorry wrong piece what does it mean can mean years these are the years of s's life can mean lives multiple two plural so what does mean here says Rashi they were all good they were all equal and how good they were how good they were lived how good they were experienced or say of Dr you know every person every human being to be alive is to have periods of your life that are characterized by light by goodness by pleasantness by Joy when a person is successful when a person is celebrating Simas when all is going well and good when a p person is healthy but there are moments that don't go so smoothly and don't go so well and a person is struggling and a person is suffering and a person is frustrated and a person is disappointed and a person is trying to navigate the darkness of their life of this world the Torah comes along and tells us you think s didn't have difficult ears if you think that you don't know anything about SAR because here's what we know about saru we know that her husband locked her in a cabinet and said pretend you're my sister she was then abducted and almost raped by a powerful figure without consent s introduced hashtag me too she was the founder she waited for years and years and years all she wanted was children she allowed her husband to take a co-wife how magnanimous how generous and she waited and waited and longed and longed to have children she had a difficult life a very difficult life and yet at the end of her life the Torah testifies about her you know you'd never know sahu's demeanor her disposition sahu's attitude when you met matter was s how's everything all good aren't you sad you don't have a son yet yeah I'm frustrated I wish I I ding hard but is good to me in other ways and life is good I choose to see the good and to be positive and to be hopeful no matter what was going on they were shoving we have days where our attitude our approach is the we tell baboker Boker means the morning in the morning when you wake up a bright new day filled with opportunity a bright new day pregnant with possibility a bright new day hopeful and optimistic and the sun rises yet again the sun is shining high in the sky B we have days in our life that are like Boker the sun will come up and the sun rises and they're bright and they're hopeful and they're wonderful and there's Clarity I can see everything makes sense but there are other days that are filled with it's dark the cloak of Darkness I have no idea what's happening it can feel dark we all have family serving in the IDF whether it's immediate family whether it's biological family or whether it's family I have a lot of family I have a lot of family I have four nephews and countless cousins and one of my nephews is in Gaza and 10 days ago handed in his phone hasn't been in touch with his wife or his two kids and my sister and brother-in-law because you can't he's not alone this is true for thousands and thousands what do they find out a nightly text from the commander of the unit we're all alive and well speak to you tomorrow a text that's I don't know how she sleeps hope she's not listening to this I love her dearly I love him dearly how do you sleep you're raising your two little kids on your own without your husband bad enough he's away you were able to FaceTime and talk and connect and then 10 days will turn it to two who knows and we know what's at risk and we know the purpose of the mission we know what's at stake you know what that takes close your eyes at night the sun goes down and the sky is dark and you know what's probably happening and you know where your person you love your other half is going and that's what you have it's dark her Dark Nights her difficult moments they were shove in the TOA there's nothing wrong they have to be navigated person has to find strength we're not judging or criticizing somebody who's struggling through these difficult times butu her greatness when we reflect and think about her good years bad years good day bad day joy and success failure and disappoint you never knew because you ran into Sarah Sarah was a big smile this in the morning person SWS their seed and in the evening don't give up don't take away your hand when you wake up in the morning the sun is high in the sky you have Clarity you can see and it all makes sense and it all feels wonderful plant your seed grow and Blossom transform that world but La ER at night that world gets dark when that sun sets when you have no idea what will be and what is when you're haunted it's difficult to believe in this moment shom a Jew never gives up a Jew never despairs a Jew always lives with hope is there's no it's shalom person has to dig deep and live with that was when you say how how am I gonna get through this and I can't get through this you say you know I can you know how because there's a piece of piece of andov in each and every one of us we carry their DNA and we have their resilience and their strength and their tenacity and we can and we can and we have the ability of this is the greatest thing we could say about all equal all we're good Amun is what carries us we had the great last night sitting right here in the spot we'll get the video out the was here what an incredible night and he spoke about this Amun he quoted the Serenity Prayer believe it or not that's how we began give me the strength to accept what I can control let go of what I can't control and then he said but that's not he put the Torah spin on the serenity prayer and he spoke about amuna living with amuna in these times and Amun is not something that's on a shelf it's not the P dishes you don't pull it down Amun is the way that you see the world and that you feel and you understand what's going on he said such a beautiful idea that we know fromaz hasem always sends theu before the Mak Hashem always sends the healing before even the challenge how was theu before the Maka he said when did this terrible tragedy happen we just marked thean it happened on Sim Tor in Israel it was Sim Tor what's the day on our calendar that the most Jews are all equal we're dancing in a circle where everyone is equal distance on that Circle where Jews are taking each other's hand and dancing in a circle equidistant and it's not just that the one gets the Aliyah the Reb getsi or shishi and the big donor gets R and this big coing gets C everybody gets an Aaliyah and everybody dances in a circle and everybody's equid what's it's and its equality and that was the before the Mak that we would need to get through this he already on that day the Rua what we would need in order to get through it which is the unity that we're seeing that strength it happened rafu before the Mak he didn't mention but I read a couple days ago that among the intelligence that they uncovered in Gaza was that the original plans for this were on pesak thisas attack was scheduled for pesak but it was for whatever reason before the Mak we dig deep and we have to find that capacity for that for that he has much more on this here the person has to make a one loses a loved one one loses a fortune yet a business deal turned sour and you lost a Fortune of money is a to make you make a and that you have to make that how because you have to love mean with all of your heart it's not what it means what does it mean all of your hearts in plural with an S would mean with all of your heart but it doesn't say it doesn't say with all of your heart in the sing what does it say with all your hearts plural plural what do you mean plural how many hearts do you have your heart has four chambers but you only have one heart so why does it say Hearts because we have two hearts you have the do you think you make the same even when something goes wrong says no what it means is not only do you have to have the attitude when everything is right you never hear anyone say when their child gets engaged why me why me they get a raise of promotion they tell the boss me why me why me they say me yeah me for sure me me I deserve the Sim I deserve the raise I deserve the vacation I deserve everything working out yeah me me and then when everything goes wrong why me it should be him it should be her why me so K means with the same way that we realize this was designated for me this I've DED it was my time this is what's right for me whether I understand it or not whether I'm deserving of it or not this is what's right for me this raise this promotion this this news even when things go wrong goes more on about this but the who lived that she fulfilled her life was characterized by she had the same and she had the same attitude of I just like I don't question when I get the good news the Sim I won the lottery I got the promotion I don't question when I run into a obstacle a stumbling block a struggle equally accepted it's equally designated it's equ meant to be from hasem we've discussed in the past s dies what order should it be do you first cry and then eulogize do you eulogize and then cry usually you cry you hear bad news and you cry then you compose yourself to deliver a eulogy when it came to Sarah a delivered a eulogy and then he cried why and his crying his tears were unusual they were small a small in the look in the small he he he limited his tears why he toxic masculinity he had to show that he couldn't he wouldn't cry it's okay today you'd say a it's okay cry be in touch with your feelings it's okay to cry why is it a small it's okay to cry AB didn't know it's okay to cry and how does he react he gets up get knocked down we ride back up we are right now in a we are right now in AA we're following the footsteps of an aak to get back up how does he get back up what's the next section he buys a grave for Sarah he negotiates with Ephron we'll see in a moment and what does he do next he buries Sarah dies unexpectedly shockingly cause of death scared to death cuz someone told her the wrong way we learned from here the right way to tell news what they should have said is Sarah you're he's fine he's okay he's happy he's healthy he's good but listen to this crazy story that almost happened instead someone came along and said sah did you hear hear what AR took hasem told him to kill him on an altar he brought him up to the mountain put him on the altar lifted at night before he could get to the punch line S had a heart attack and died so you learn how to tell always call your parents they're fine they're okay but they broke the leg they're in a cast they'll be fine you have to know how to tell we learn how to tell the news from here Sor he died a Barry S what's the very next thing he does what's the next thing he does he finds a for because what does one do how do we bounce back how do we bounce back we're not scared we don't run away we don't cower we don't give up we don't turn on the towel we don't say it's over or turn off the light what do we do continuity a future a new bias that's our answer that's the antidote the answer AR loses Sarah so prematurely so abruptly so suddenly he loses his other half he loses his better half what does he do huh you know what the future we need to build the future I mentioned last week but the Holocaust Survivors who didn't talk about the Holocaust for 30 40 50 years never told their children about it only opened up to their grandchildren why because until they knew they had a future they couldn't talk about the past have to have grandchildren they have to before they can talk about before they can talk about the past so a what's the response time to go find the for but first he's got a bury s and this is a difficult negotiation R says this is the test we thought the last test was last week he was tested 10 times and we thought that that the AA certainly the most challenging the hardest of all the tests we thought it was the final test know you know what was the hardest test maintaining his composure even while having to negotiate with an Ephron a duplicitous lying snake Sleazy and yet avra maintained his composure he made a k made that was the final test Eon charges a excessive amount and AR says I'll pay it you know where do we learn K kadushin from today we get married there are three ways the person could get married we only use one of them we use sh the man the gives the woman notice I didn't call them a boy and a girl they're getting married hopefully they're not a boy and girl they're getting married the man gives the woman a ring to shove a of the value of money and says she accepts it she receives it and they are hereby betrothed they are hereby married where do we know that if a man gives a woman an item of value they're married where do we learn that from where does it say that you can create marriage through transfer of something of value so good morning kadan just made a but in the beginning of the learns says that when a man gets married he takes a wife and it says that Aram buys the field from Ephron so we learn marriage from this par this negotiation that is the least romantic thing I've ever heard where do we learn that a man and a woman who are in marriage and want to live their lives together and build a future and have children and create a destiny that they can create the marriage through the transfer of value because a had to negotiate with this Ed card Salan sleazy low life efon that's where we learn it from so there's a lot of I'll give you one for your grandchildren you know why we learn it from here because you know what aam and Ephron had in common when they finished this negotiation each one thought they got the better end of the deal each one felt what a steal what a deal I got a said from my S where I will be with her for eternity with the rest of Theos 400 what a bargain Ephron said I can't believe that iy paid me 400 chea for this cave wow did I make out well with this each one walked away thinking I got the better end of the deal that's is that each one should feel boy did I marry up boy did I get a better end of the deal boy did I luck out here boy am I fortunate and lucky that's why we learn it from here we also learn aam could have said you know I took care of s her whole life I paid the credit card bill from the Department Stores the Manny Petty brought her flowers every week I took care of her whole life housekeeper at I took care of she took care of me I don't save the email she took care of me too but I took care I took care of her whole life all right Ephron wants to charge that's excessive there's no way I'm paying that for real estate I'm done but you know what aam says till death to us I'm with to the Long Haul we're Inseparable even in death and what do we tell the and Kal standing under that you know you're GNA run into a roadblock life's going to get hard why do we break a glass at the end of the wedding because even before you leave the we want to show you that things are going to break right now they're amazing and they're amazing and they're perfect and they're adorable isn't he sweet isn't he cute isn't he amazing the greatest couple ever happened the greatest people that ever lived the great everything's amazing everything's great hey great people before you walk away from your things are going to break things are going to break and what are you going to do then when something breaks so we tell the couple the where do you learn about marriage from that was in it all the way till the end even after sah was gone he spared no expense to give her the proper burial because that doesn't mean there aren't times then divorce is also a Mitzvah there are times that divorce is also a Mitzvah there are times but under the their attitude should be we're in this like a and Sarah that's how long we're in it that's this is not we'll give it a shot we'll see how it goes I turn in my car lease every three years I upgrade my phone every two years I do my whatever every couple years we'll see if I like this model of a wife of a husband maybe I have to turn it in maybe I have to exchange maybe I'll have to upgrade then don't get married if you're already thinking about I'll give it a shot I'll see how it goes we'll try it and if I don't like this model I'll upgrade to the newest model if that's your attitude don't walk under the because if you walk under that only step under that if you're confident that you're in this all the way through so he hears Eon and he takes the 400 and heon if you look at Rashi says eon's name in thison ephron's name is missing what letter it's missing a v because you know ephon Eon over promised and underd delivered us say little and do much you know what Ephron was one of those people who said much and did little we all know in our lives the two types of people there are two types of people in this world they're the people who don't say anything but they get a lot done the people who talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and when the push comes to shove it's time to put up I can't I would I wanted to talk little and do much was because of that why do we take a letter out of his name and if you're gonna take a letter out of his name why the letter V now that question is not so compelling because there weren't a lot of options if you take the pay out of his name it's eron if you take the ra out of his name it's Eon like the only letter that's disposable is V so that question is not so compelling because it's the only disposable letter in the name was the letter V you could spell it Mal or with the V or without but the question is why is this mid mid Efron is some low life big talker over promising undeliver so the Torah records his name without the V why says the in tells us we have a the tells us that a should live their life being says how do you fulfill cling to God cleave to God what does that mean so you know what the says it means what is the word de in Hebrew modern Hebrew glue glue yourself to God attach yourself to God we use this in our vernacular new kid comes to school middle of the Year transfers in has one friend in the school what does that friend say on the first day stick with me stick with me sit with me in the dining room the cafeteria sit next to me in class stick with me you'll be fine stick with me you'll be fine hasem says be like stick with me you'll be fine that's says how do you fulfill is hasem saying attach yourself to me de glue stick with me you'll be fine you'll be fine but the Wonders the says Hashem is an all consuming fire you're going to attach yourself to the omnipotent infinite creator of the universe who is an all consuming fire is it really possible says the how do you you know how you fulfill marry your daughter off to a marry your daughter to a find a good with a sonin-law is I would it even suggested marry your son to A A righteous woman in both directions do business with take care of lavish with gifts take good care of them take good care of them so when you do that you're attaching yourself to the closest thing you can to the in this world we don't have in this world we believe that human beings are all fallible and they're mere mortals but the more one Masters Torah the more they're married to Hashem the more they can finish hashem's sentences the more they can represent Hashem in this world so the closer you can come attach yourself to you know we learned dka from this para the Torah takes enormous amount of real estate and space in our PAs to tell us the whole story of conversation the going coming repeating why so much space so much time for event of History it's not a why to learn from here do you know how valuable even the not only the she not only to learn the Torah but the opportunity to sit in the office get opportunity Thanksgiving weekend we'll have back every year should Thanksgiving weekend the opportunity not only the formal but the conversation's in between so the gar says how do you fulfill can't attach ourselves to he's an all consuming fire what's the closest we can come find righteous people and I would expand this to say I don't think it's so radical find righteous men and women how many people visited got a from I know that many years ago when I was in you got a quick from who did you enjoy with reki in the kitchen not only the young Seminary girls I was young go get a from her she would Sho righteous men and women that's the to mavic but one of the examples the G gives is favor doing business Commerce Eon had a perfect Prime opportunity to fulfill this F this doctrine of a ainu the spokesman of ethical monotheism a ainu who's radically transforming the world introducing the belief in the one and only Hashem and he comes to you to buy your real estate give him a discount give him off certainly give him a fair deal run to take care of him don't come to me I'll come to you I know you're just getting up from shiva I'll take care of all the paperwork I'll take care of the realtor fee I'll take care of the and I'm giving you not only the market value I'm getting you even a better deal because I have the chance for an A A for who you are and the difference that you're making but instead of doing that what does he do he extorts a he makes him overpay and because of that that he loses the letter V why the letter V the letter V more than any letter in the alphabet the letter v v is the V the V is what creates attachment the V links this and that the V means and the V creates connection Ephron had the chance to connect to cling to cleave to fulfill if he would have done the proper business deal with aam he didn't because he didn't he didn't do with he lost the letter V he lost the a beautiful Insight of and his new safer eph forfeited the letter V because he forfeited the opportunity to do PR with we all wantem we want a connection with hem and we can but we could also connect with the closest we can get to hasem I say in the Amun all the time and it's not my own thought I forgot where I first read it or heard it you know the example sometimes you lose a connection on your phone people panic no Wi-fi no connection they Panic have to be connected I have to be connected and you're in a place that you have no connection and then you find somebody that you're with they're on a different service and they're connected what do you say to them please could you turn your phone into a Hotpot turn your phone into a hot spot so I can connect through you sometimes when it comes to connecting to Hashem we have no service we have no connection we have no bars or we have one bar and we're struggling to connect when you come to a when you host a when you sit and drink at the feet of a when you enjoy even they become our hot spot we can connect by attaching to them that takes the letter V takes a takes a connection it takes a continues the letter also can be understood because he didn't take care of the V he lost the letter V okay Torah continues now as I mentioned earlier how does aam react he loses his loved one Sarah he spends time negotiating with his low life he buries her inter her properly what comes next and a was old well on in years that's how the article translates Zak Zak you understand Z he's older he started to collect Social Security he got a discount at the movie and what is BBA that's a funny expression so we already said the means our days come and testify how we filled them what we did in them in's days testified well blessed what does it mean he gave him everything what's the that he gave AB so say doesn't mean a son we already know he had a son he already had doesn't mean a daughter B had a he a daughter does it mean what does it mean b we know that this B is something special that AB has AR takes the coal that he has whom does he give it to who does give the BR of Cole to yov we say this every time you bench B mik is this and with it says he gave him mik with yob it says B Cole Cole so what is this coal what is this treasure what is this BR what is this gift that AB had he gave it to and he gave it to jakov is the advertisement for that expensive watch to take Philip I don't know how to pronounce it even I don't know how to pronounce it I have no TAA for it and I can't afford it but there's a great ad says you never own one you just hold it for the Next Generation I don't know why that's a great because every family only ever needs to buy one I would think it would say you love yours buy one for every member of your family but they don't need my opinion they didn't ask my opinion it's a great head you don't own you never own it you just hold on to it for the next Generation so this coal is a bra that AB has and he just watches it and protects it to give to Y to give to yob what is it and why do we want it we ask we we say in the end of benching B mikem give us a piece of the coal b m co give us some of this coal what is this coal what is it that we want what is it that they had we spoke about it in the past you can listen online but this year why is the Tor here testifying is it good or bad being a zing both the answer is yes it's good and bad on the one hand we DAV on the one hand we DAV we say in we say oner never consider me a Zu don't dismiss me don't give up on me don't fail believing in me don't let me ever see myself as a Zak who's da who's finished who complete got to always be hungry always moving always growing best is always yet to come on the one hand on the other hand Torah here seems to observe fondly aam pleasantly reached the age of zus so the says you know that until aam there was no such thing as a Zak you know what happened your hair never turned gray it never fell out your muscles didn't atrophy your joints didn't give up on you your organs didn't begin to fail your you know your it didn't start to go you can keep going over here this is so uplifting no so uplifting you never got wrinkles any anyone else here anyone else uh you're hearing didn't start to go okay that's enough it's enough for today until aam all of your faculties all of your youthfulness all of your complexion all of your hairline all of your hair color it all remained it all remained so why did it change with says looked identical sometimes someone thought they were talking to they were talking to and sometimes someone needed to talk to and they were talking to came and said to Hashem hasem could could you help out a little bit over here I look like a teenager I'm a 100 years old and I look like a teenager I look the same as my son people confuse us all the time can you let me age gracefully let me embrace aging it's a that's why the Torah says hasem answered him in the affirmative growing old is a it's a certainly when you consider the alternative it's a br it's a br we have a member of the Shu in a couple of weeks is going to turn 95 he's healthy and spry and amazing and as involved in the leadership of the sh as he's ever been as he's ever been talked about maybe he should be president again I said what are you trying to make Joe Biden look young what you young so you ask him how he's doing he says I'm not gonna die young it's turning 95 somebody said he told me somebody recently wish wished him should have a long life he said done BR has already been fulfilled what a br so Z lean in lean into it don't try you're not fooling anyone the Botox and coloring your hair and I'm talking to the men you're not fooling it women I'm not going near with that you do whatever you want whatever makes you feel good whatever makes you feel young but you're not fooling anyone lean into it D for it he D for it so embrace it I'm I'm I'm not only a member of I'm like the spokesman of the club I'm the poster child of the club so I could say this you could be 125 and you had the same Vigor and the same energy and the same passion the same drive as when you were 25 years old 32 years old and what happened you were young you you weren't young in age you were older but in Vigor in health in appearance you looked young P the abruptly a person would Dro dead there was no illness there was no aging they just disappeared there was no chance to say goodbye there was no preparation there was no utilizing those older years to be able to transfer transform values you know what happens you know what the benefit of age is when you're young you think you're Immortal you think you'll live forever and you live that way and when you get a little bit older you start to re-evaluate your priorities revalue your time the difference you want to make the message you want to leave the impact that you want to have the Legacy that you want to create zna is a beautiful thing aging is a br it's a br and he adds Dr that with aging you have less of that drive and that passion and the energy and the Atara you're able to live a little bit more with Serenity and with peace the things that made you lose your cool when you were young now you realize they're not so important they're not worth losing your cool over they're not worth forfeiting your happiness about ZN can be a if a person leans into it and Embraces it like for it it can be a it can be a br and here finally we move over to some other ideas says the following idea he has a little bit of a different idea a different perspective he says even though is a even though according to the calendar he's an old man he came like every day was the first day he put on his fing like he was a bar mitzvah boy Z he might have been old in years but he was he brought the enthusiasm that every day was like a new day the first day put on hisin like a bar mitzvah the very first time he was putting on Fillin he talked his attitude to Sarah before she died they were married they celebrated the 70th 80th anniversary and he celebrated 80th anniversary he acted like a newly wedd in shisha he was a Zak but like every day was new every day was the first he quotes by he continues the by quoting theom says learn a person would leave this world as pure and innocent and sin-free as when we enter it and that's theam Z even when he was a he was he was even though he was a Zak he still was innocent and pure and sin-free that was A's greatness A's greatness so now he realizes I'm an old man if Sarah died who's next it's time to make preparations the preparations are not just meeting with the estate attorney preparations are not just figuring out your estate and your assets preparations are not about setting up your trusts revocable and irrevocable your your not just about calculating how much money you're leaving to Bon synagogue generously a lot toel of course but it's about realizing the future the G left it an ethical will how could I leave this world says without seeing who is going to marry who is going to choose what kind of shabas table they're gonna have what kind of they're gonna give me how could I leave this world without going to aish party so what does he do next he goes to set up says the he sends elzar who's in charge of his household he makes him swear he makes him swear this I said I think last year or two years ago he's M elzar's trusted with his whole estate and we know that made him very very very wealthy he's on the four 400u and who is the CFO of his whole world elezar when it came to elzar when it comes to go finding he makes elzar swear when it came to managing his fortune he said here are the passwords here are the passwords here are the codes here's everything you need here's everything here's everything I forgot which God once observed about too many from Jews in America say you know when it comes to their housekeeper they lock their jewelry in the safe they don't trust them but they give the children say you raise the children while all be out and away when it should be the opposite the safe I'll leave unlocked but my children here are the passwords swear on a safe of Torah that you're going to take good care of them we get it backwards a said when it came to my whole my assets my things ah here the password I trust you but my son when it comes to my son you need to swear on a safe of Torah and we have it backwards we lock the jewelry in the safe we hide the cash in theum under the mattress but the kids we say yeah you rais them you got it you take it you take it we have it backwards so elzar goes on this Mission and he makes a deal the woman will say lower your jar your jug and I'll drink and she'll give me to drink and give to the camels so that'll be the one I'll know she's the one she's the right one reaches out to hem he makes this deal with hem he doesn't say to Hashem he doesn't say to Hashem I need to see a picture on the resume is she a size two three four Max he doesn't say he doesn't say what's the what's the who is she who who is z who's her bbby he doesn't ask for the he doesn't ask for the dress size he doesn't say are the parents GNA support he's say my client my one of the they're not going 5050 she's gonna have to pay everything all in plus the apartment alaza doesn't say any of that what does he ask for just got to be kind compassion giving good generous she'll give me to drink and give my camels to drink and the rest will fall into place the money the the dress size yet later elzar now meets the one and what does he observe about Rifka [Music] sayas so look her she's beautiful it's a beautiful woman the same who a moment ago said looks don't matter money doesn't matter you doesn't matter Hashem just make her generous with me and with the camels and now fast forward and what does elzar observe She's Not Just toas magnificently beautiful I thought he just said it's the inside that matters so listen to the kaker Alazar tested rifka's quality of generosity and kindness if the bride has beautiful eyes you don't have to look any further bride has beautiful eyes you look into her eyes they're beautiful they're Hazel they're green she's beautiful sparkly eyes you don't have to look any further is that going to be the new thing in shim don't include a picture on the resume just her eyes just the eyes her and a burka just put a picture of her a burka says the kaker that can't be what it means because there are plenty of less attractive Brides I'm reading to you from the kaker there are plenty I'm reading in English we're out of time there are plenty of less attractive brides with beautiful eyes and how could call for the examination of external beauty I thought we say who was that written about by the way the M tells us is A's HP for sah you go PK by PK each one is a talking about his sah the says this was for so here when it comes to this's Mother false is charm vain is beauty that's all that matters and now alzar says true but she's she's really beautiful true but she has his beautiful eyes I don't have to look any further what's meant listen to what the kakar says he said you know what it means doesn't mean she has beautiful sparkly eyes it means does she see the world generously to have beautiful eyes means does she have a beautiful outlook on the world does she see opportunities does she see a chance to make a difference does she see the world as inviting her to influence it what it means to have beautiful eyes is to have a beautiful Outlook a beautiful perspective and that's what elzar's commenting toas she has a beautiful outlook on the world not she's a beautiful girl a beautiful woman he thought that too that's why he tried to steal her for his own son but he means toas she has a gmach outlook on the world she has an incredible view she's generous she gives the benefit of the doubt she sees SE people favorably she loves to run to do she intuits doing kindness she's a giver she cares she wants to do good she wants to do good and that's why the says this mid this character trait we inherit from rifu kindness and generous generosity that's what it means to be a yid to be a Jew of kir why did elzar still need to see Rifka pass the test about giving the camels to drink a miracle happened what did he observe what happened she bent down and what happened instead of having to drop the bucket and make it to the bottom of the well and use all that energy to lift it she saw the water Rose miraculously alaza should have said good Lu enough seal the deal sh we're in we're in but he still had to wait for her to see you drink and your camels drink why if you see himself do a miracle you still need to see so he answers Miracles can happen for someone they can have tremendous amuna but they have to do they have to do they have to show that generosity they have to show that kindness they have to have that that Quality quality they have to be willing to make a difference our good friend our old friend coming back the Tor says about this how old is Rifka when this happened she was three years old because when was being offered on the altar is the year that RKA was born was how old 37 he waited three years after the AA to find his wife so how old was she three how can a three-year-old go to the well they can't even see over the wall of the well because the three-year-old then was the equivalent of the 10y old today that is the opinion of the medish tell you a story when my one of my daughters was a little girl seven eight years old we got a call from school that she was doodling that day not paying attention she got in trouble so she came up from school I still vividly remember Y and I sat with her in the backyard and we said what happened in school today we got a call so she started crying she started crying and she said you know I got in trouble I was doodling I wasn't paying attention we said how could you doodle how could you not pay attention learning Torah so she looked up and she said she said ABA when my teacher says things that don't make sense I stopped listening I said what did your teacher said that didn't make any sense said my teacher told me that Rifka was three years old when she got married it doesn't make sense threey olds don't get married so my teacher is gonna say silly things I stop listening you ever worry about your child but have knas from them in the same moment the truth is the burden wasn't on my daughter because there's a medish that says it doesn't mean that's the medish that we have to teach the little children who says that's the med you have to teach in the information age where children have access and are told to use their logic and rational thinking and then you're going to deposit a med that even adults have to figure out what does it mean exactly she was three was she really three was the three the same then as it is now the name has a tradition she was 14 years old and he proves it from a different and he quotes here from that quotes from he has all these different opinions how old was she exactly why am I telling you that because there's a lot of opinions where does it say that the teacher has to say she was three when you're 30 years old you could learn that medish and try to figure it out but we have to use our SE what we teach our children also not every medish that's going to complicate it's also hard to picture the SE split but those are that's a in the Torah and that believe hasm did a miracle to see split it's a me she was three there another me she was 14 there another Med she was a different age teach the Mish that will make children say this makes sense to me this is beautiful when they get a little bit older you could teach the other MIM as well introduced there's so much I don't think I got through 50% barely scratch the surface of the para it's an amazing Para a lot more to say about it please stay for a few more minutes Gordon's going to hand out theum finish together