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Parsha Perspectives for Today (Chayei Sarah 5784/2023) - Your Days Testify About You
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The Torah and its messages are timeless. Join me as we draw from the weekly Torah portion to extract lessons and inspiration for today from a wide and diverse range of sources and personalities. For more content, visit http://www.rabbiefremgoldberg.org. - Introduction - Sarah’s Age (MIdrash) - How Could You Be Sleeping? (Chidushei Harim) - Seeing Light in Darkness (R. Druck) - Avraham’s Final Test (Rabeinu Yonah) - Avraham and Efron - The Spelling of Efron (R. Druck) - The Blessing of Age (R. Druck) - Avraham’s Fresh Perspective on Life (Rachmastrivka Rebbe) - Beautiful Eyes (Kli Yakar)
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may it be a good morning and a good day
for cl we should hear yesu of course all
of our hearts all of
ouros it's not on all of our hearts all
of ouros all of our thoughts and all of
our wishes with our brothers and sisters
in Israel the members of the IDF they
should be successful in a sweeping
victory in their
mission uh which reminds me right after
Shear as always or as we've now begun to
do everyone's invited to stay will give
it out 30 people stay it'll take just a
few minutes to finish all of Saum as
part of our Shear we continue to provide
these cars flags for the cars we're
getting American flags as well let the
cars represent our patriotism and
gratitude to America and the US Israel
relationship don't be afraid don't be
defensive don't be shy everywhere you go
everywhere you park every Highway you
drive on be proud Jews and proudly stand
with America and Israel parar page 106
and the Arts girl Stone we remain of
course grateful to our generous sponsors
Beck and aiats and family sponsored the
Pasa Series in memory of David
grman this morning she is sponsored by
Dr gold Sadowski in honor of kurzer her
dear aunt and uncle wonderful people we
love the curers and
by thank you for your
generosity the life of s was 100 years
and years and 70 years that was the life
of Sarah imanu and we've spoken many
times as all do on this para why we
begin at such a peculiar fashion why not
just much more succinctly say SAR lived
127 years why 100 years and 20 years and
seven years I don't like math I never
liked math I didn't like it as a kid I
don't like it now I don't want to have
to add up the numbers just give me the
sum total of what it adds up to and
there are many interpretations Rashi
famously quotes that when she was 100
it's like she was 20 for and when she
was 20 like she was seven in terms of
her beauty and so on and so forth the
medish tells us that Bea students I find
this incredibly
reassuring Rea students were falling
asleep when he was giving
Shear the great RAB AA we say to
ourselves if we were Rea Shear for one
minute be wide awake be listening so
attentively and yet the great re AAS you
know there's a as as a public person as
a r you draw strength from interesting
places like morai Mor was
R they voted on M's contract shushan was
up for extermination elimination
anti-semites wanted to destroy Mori is
the hero he saves all of shushan and
they have a vote are we extending his
contract and wouldn't you know it R he
got a majority he saved the whole
shushan and he got a majority so RI is
giving shear and there's people falling
asleep right in front of him right in
front of
him I once gave a Shear someone was
sitting in the front row they don't live
here anymore I won't embarrass them it
was Mish unbelievable I never saw
anything like it in my I was watching
him doze and the head Bob and I was just
watching it happen and he fell into such
a deep sleep he fell off the chair onto
the ground when he hit the ground he
woke up and he jumped back up in the
chair and tried to make it like nothing
happened and Bar hasem that's why when I
meet anesthesiologist I say where we
have the same career we're in the same
business so Reb AA the great reab AKA
and his students fell asleep so he
thought how am I gonna wake them up some
provocative idea some
thought-provoking controversial comment
a joke that would have them roaring with
laughter Bika said SAR lived 127 years
Esther ruled over 127 medos Shin
everybody woke up
that's what did
it so
the says what was telling his
was s IMA took advantage of every moment
of her life every second of every minute
of every hour of every day of every week
of every month of every year her 127
years were full were complete were lived
to their fullest and you know what the
result was you know what that gave birth
to 127 medos when we utilize our time
when we Elevate and enrich our time then
we mold and shape this world we rule
over medos we move the cosmos the impact
in the difference we make what he was
telling them is why you fast a SCH how
could you be sleeping we're learning
Torah do you understand the inestimable
value do you understand the eternity do
you understand the of every moment here
and what we do with it Esther merited to
rule over 127 medos because SAR took
advantage of
127 years of 127 years later in the Pas
we'll see
that we'll see a few interpretations of
it but grows
old it's a very interesting expression
or phrase what does it mean he came with
days what does that even mean the zes
makes a comment means that after 120 or
127 why can't it be 127 when we come
upstairs you know what escorts us you
know what is malav us you know what
comes with us or for us our days they
testify about us our diary you know what
goes upstairs with you and Theon says
shash stop telling me how you lived and
what you thought was important and what
you valued and what you cared about just
stop talking for a second show me your
Google calendar show me your Outlook
calendar show me if you carry around one
of those oh you whatever you old school
uh calendar show me a calendar show me
your days and what you did with them and
what you did in them show me me how you
spent your time and I'll know everything
about you don't tell me show me our
calendar testifies to who we
are our days come with us our days come
with us so will they show that you
binged watch Netflix will they show that
you filled your time with narish kite
will you show that you SM smoed about
nothing will they show that they were
wasted were they filled with meaning and
purpose and change and transformation
and an effort to repair and redeem this
world at whatever age whatever age it's
a theme for no particular reason that we
mention at the para class but even if
you're retired there's no such thing as
Retirement retirement is from your
career or your profession but you're
never retired in yish Kite from
life when your children are young and
you're raising a family and trying to
pay tuition you're working for a living
is when you don't have time to do the
meaningful things to fill your day that
will come testify on your
behalf get in retirement that you can
fill your day go to the Shum and stay
and say that toim and go check in on
somebody and go spend time with somebody
and go a volunteer opportunity and go
take on a committee and go transform the
world because Z our days come and they
testify who we are and how we fill them
and what we do with them and what we say
it doesn't really matter what we say is
not what's important it's what we do is
who we are and what will reveal and what
testifies to what we do nothing more
than our calendar maybe our calendar
combined with our budget you know what
goes upstairs for us Hashem says go sit
in the corner and be quiet I don't want
to hear anything just give me your
calendar and give me your credit card
statement and then I'll know everything
about you don't tell me H Israel I'm so
broken I can't sleep I'm so broken
really it's funny I looked at your
calendar you didn't make it to too much
to Hill him you didn't add any learning
I didn't see you volunteer your time to
pack duffles
and show me your and show me your budget
your credit card statement your
financial statements oh you were so
bothered I didn't see that you you know
you gave up some luxury to ensure that
displaced families would have some money
that soldiers could have their goods and
their
needs 127
years 127
medos because this is what testifies to
who we really are back in the r druk
newest
grateful to for sharing his new safer
with me in his new safer he quotes this
Rashi why 120 and7 Torah is always
succinct the Torah says things as
quickly as possible torah's real estate
is the most precious that there is so
just say 127 years why 1207 to teach us
at 100 like 20 when it comes to she so
innocent and pure at 20 she was
beautiful as if
seven sorry wrong
piece
what does it
mean can mean years these are the years
of s's life can mean lives multiple two
plural so what does mean here says
Rashi they were all good they were all
equal and how good they were how good
they were lived how good they were
experienced or say of Dr you know every
person every human being to be alive is
to have periods of your life that are
characterized by light by goodness by
pleasantness by
Joy when a person is successful when a
person is celebrating Simas when all is
going well and good when a p person is
healthy but there are moments that don't
go so smoothly and don't go so well and
a person is struggling and a person is
suffering and a person is frustrated and
a person is disappointed and a person is
trying to navigate the darkness of their
life of this
world the Torah comes along and tells
us you think s didn't have difficult
ears if you think that you don't know
anything about SAR because here's what
we know about saru we know that her
husband locked her in a cabinet and said
pretend you're my sister she was then
abducted and almost raped by a powerful
figure without consent s introduced
hashtag me too she was the founder she
waited for years and years and years all
she wanted was children she allowed her
husband to take a co-wife how
magnanimous how generous and she waited
and waited and longed and longed to have
children she had a difficult life a very
difficult life and yet at the end of her
life the Torah testifies about her you
know you'd never know sahu's demeanor
her disposition sahu's attitude when you
met matter was s how's everything all
good aren't you sad you don't have a son
yet yeah I'm frustrated I wish I I ding
hard but is good to me in other ways and
life is good I choose to see the good
and to be positive and to be
hopeful no matter what was going on they
were
shoving we have days where our attitude
our approach is
the
we tell baboker Boker means the morning
in the morning when you wake up a bright
new day filled with opportunity a bright
new day pregnant with possibility a
bright new day hopeful and optimistic
and the sun rises yet again the sun is
shining high in the sky B we have days
in our life that are like Boker the sun
will come up and the sun rises and
they're bright and they're hopeful and
they're wonderful and there's Clarity I
can see everything makes
sense but there are other days that are
filled
with it's dark the cloak of Darkness I
have no idea what's
happening it can feel
dark we all have family serving in the
IDF whether it's immediate family
whether it's biological family or
whether it's family I have a lot of
family I have a lot of family I have
four nephews and countless cousins and
one of my nephews is in Gaza and 10 days
ago handed in his phone hasn't been in
touch with his wife or his two kids and
my sister and brother-in-law because you
can't he's not alone this is true for
thousands and thousands what do they
find out a nightly text from the
commander of the unit we're all alive
and well speak to you tomorrow a text
that's I don't know how she sleeps hope
she's not listening to
this I love her dearly I love him dearly
how do you sleep
you're raising your two little kids on
your own without your husband bad enough
he's away you were able to FaceTime and
talk and connect and then 10 days will
turn it to two who knows and we know
what's at risk and we know the purpose
of the mission we know what's at stake
you know what that
takes close your eyes at night the sun
goes down and the sky is dark and you
know what's probably
happening and you know where your person
you love your other half is going and
that's what you have
it's
dark her Dark Nights her difficult
moments they were shove in the TOA
there's nothing wrong they have to be
navigated person has to find
strength we're not judging or
criticizing somebody who's struggling
through these difficult times butu her
greatness when we reflect and think
about
her good years bad years good day bad
day
joy and success failure and disappoint
you never knew because you ran into
Sarah Sarah was a big
smile this in the
morning person SWS their seed and in the
evening don't give up don't take away
your
hand when you wake up in the morning the
sun is high in the sky you have Clarity
you can see and it all makes sense and
it all feels
wonderful plant your seed grow and
Blossom transform that world but La ER
at night that world gets dark when that
sun sets when you have no idea what will
be and what is when you're
haunted it's difficult to
believe in this
moment shom a Jew never gives up a Jew
never despairs a Jew
always lives with hope is there's no
it's
shalom person has to dig deep and live
with that was when you say how how am I
gonna get through this and I can't get
through this you say you know I can you
know how because there's a piece of
piece of andov in each and every one of
us we carry their DNA and we have their
resilience and their strength and their
tenacity and we can and we can and we
have the ability of this is the greatest
thing we could say
about all equal all we're good Amun is
what carries us we had the great last
night sitting right here in the spot
we'll get the video out
the was here what an incredible night
and he spoke about this Amun he quoted
the Serenity Prayer believe it or not
that's how we began give me
the strength to accept what I can
control let go of what I can't control
and then he said but that's not he put
the Torah spin on the serenity prayer
and he spoke about amuna living with
amuna in these times and Amun is not
something that's on a shelf it's not the
P dishes you don't pull it down Amun is
the way that you see the world and that
you feel and you understand what's going
on he said such a beautiful idea that we
know fromaz hasem always sends theu
before the Mak Hashem always sends the
healing before even the challenge how
was theu before the Maka he said when
did this terrible tragedy happen we just
marked thean it happened on Sim Tor in
Israel it was Sim Tor what's the day on
our calendar that the most Jews are all
equal we're dancing in a circle where
everyone is equal distance on that
Circle where Jews are taking each
other's hand and dancing in a circle
equidistant and it's not just that the
one gets the Aliyah the Reb getsi or
shishi and the big donor gets R and this
big coing gets C everybody gets an
Aaliyah and everybody dances in a circle
and everybody's equid
what's it's and its equality and that
was the before the Mak that we would
need to get through this he already on
that day the Rua what we would need in
order to get through it which is the
unity that we're seeing that strength it
happened rafu before the Mak he didn't
mention but I read a couple days ago
that among the intelligence that they
uncovered in Gaza was that the original
plans for this were on pesak thisas
attack was scheduled for pesak
but it was for whatever reason before
the Mak we dig deep and we have to find
that capacity for that for that he has
much more on this
here the person has to make
a one loses a loved one one loses a
fortune yet a business deal turned sour
and you lost a Fortune of money is a to
make you make a and
that you have to make
that how because you have to
love mean with all of your heart it's
not what it
means what does it mean all of your
hearts in plural with an
S would mean with all of your heart but
it doesn't say it doesn't say with all
of your heart in the sing what does it
say with all your hearts
plural plural what do you mean plural
how many hearts do you have your heart
has four chambers but you only have one
heart so why does it say Hearts because
we have two
hearts you have
the do you think you make the
same even when something goes wrong says
no
what it means is not only do you have to
have the attitude when everything is
right you never hear anyone say when
their child gets engaged why me why
me they get a raise of promotion they
tell the boss me why me why me they say
me yeah me for sure me me I deserve the
Sim I deserve the raise I deserve the
vacation I deserve everything working
out yeah me me and then when everything
goes wrong why me it should be him it
should be her why me so K means with the
same way that we realize this was
designated for me this I've DED it was
my time this is what's right for me
whether I understand it or not whether
I'm deserving of it or not this is
what's right for me this raise this
promotion this this
news even when things go
wrong
goes more on about this but the who
lived
that she fulfilled her life was
characterized
by she had the same and she had the same
attitude of I just like I don't question
when I get the good news the Sim I won
the lottery I got the promotion I don't
question when I run into a obstacle a
stumbling block a struggle equally
accepted it's equally designated it's
equ meant to be from hasem we've
discussed in the past s
dies what order should it be do you
first cry and then eulogize do you
eulogize and then cry usually you cry
you hear bad news and you cry then you
compose yourself to deliver a eulogy
when it came to Sarah a delivered a
eulogy and then he
cried why and his crying his tears were
unusual they were
small a small in the look in the
small he he he limited his tears
why he toxic
masculinity he had to show that he
couldn't he wouldn't cry it's okay today
you'd say a it's okay cry be in touch
with your feelings it's okay to cry why
is it a small it's okay to cry AB didn't
know it's okay to cry and how does he
react he gets
up get knocked down we ride back up we
are right now in
a we are right now in AA we're following
the footsteps of an aak to get back up
how does he get back up what's the next
section he buys a grave for Sarah he
negotiates with Ephron we'll see in a
moment and what does he do next he
buries Sarah dies unexpectedly
shockingly cause of
death scared to death cuz someone told
her the wrong way we learned from here
the right way to tell news what they
should have said is Sarah you're he's
fine he's okay he's happy he's healthy
he's good but listen to this crazy story
that almost happened instead someone
came along and said sah did you hear
hear what AR took hasem told him to kill
him on an altar he brought him up to the
mountain put him on the altar lifted at
night before he could get to the punch
line S had a heart attack and died so
you learn how to tell always call your
parents they're fine they're okay but
they broke the leg they're in a cast
they'll be fine you have to know how to
tell we learn how to tell the news from
here Sor he died a Barry S what's the
very next thing he
does what's the next thing he
does he finds a for because what does
one do how do we bounce
back how do we bounce back we're not
scared we don't run away we don't cower
we don't give up we don't turn on the
towel we don't say it's over or turn off
the light what do we
do continuity a future a new
bias that's our answer that's the
antidote the answer AR loses Sarah so
prematurely so abruptly so suddenly he
loses his other half he loses his better
half what does he do huh you know what
the future we need to build the future I
mentioned last week but the Holocaust
Survivors who didn't talk about the
Holocaust for 30 40 50 years never told
their children about it only opened up
to their grandchildren why because until
they knew they had a future they
couldn't talk about the past have to
have grandchildren they have to before
they can talk about before they can talk
about the past so a what's the
response time to go find the for but
first he's got a bury s and this is a
difficult negotiation R says this is the
test we thought the last test was last
week
he was tested 10 times and we thought
that that the AA certainly the most
challenging the hardest of all the tests
we thought it was the final test know
you know what was the hardest test
maintaining his composure even while
having to negotiate with an
Ephron a duplicitous lying snake
Sleazy and yet avra maintained his
composure he made a
k made that was the final
test
Eon charges a excessive amount and AR
says I'll pay it you know where do we
learn K kadushin from today we get
married there are three ways the person
could get
married we only use one of them we use
sh the man the gives the woman notice I
didn't call them a boy and a girl
they're getting married hopefully
they're not a boy and girl they're
getting married the man gives the woman
a ring to shove a of the value of money
and
says she accepts it she receives it and
they are hereby betrothed they are
hereby married where do we know that if
a man gives a woman an item of value
they're married where do we learn that
from where does it say that you
can create
marriage through transfer of something
of value so good morning kadan just made
a
but in the beginning of the
learns says that when a man gets married
he takes a wife and it says that Aram
buys the field from Ephron so we learn
marriage from this par this
negotiation that is the least romantic
thing I've ever
heard where do we learn that a man and a
woman who are in marriage and want to
live their lives together and build a
future and have children and create a
destiny that they
can create the marriage through the
transfer of value because a had to
negotiate with this Ed card Salan sleazy
low life efon that's where we learn it
from so there's a lot of I'll give you
one for your
grandchildren you know why we learn it
from here because you know what aam and
Ephron had in common when they finished
this
negotiation each one thought they got
the better end of the deal each one felt
what a steal what a deal I got a
said from my S where I will be with her
for eternity with the rest of
Theos
400 what a bargain Ephron said I can't
believe that iy paid me 400 chea for
this cave wow did I make out well with
this each one walked away thinking I got
the better end of the deal
that's is that each one should feel boy
did I marry up boy did I get a better
end of the deal boy did I luck out here
boy am I fortunate and lucky that's why
we learn it from here we also learn aam
could have said you know I took care of
s her whole life I paid the credit card
bill from the Department Stores the
Manny Petty brought her flowers every
week I took care of her whole life
housekeeper at I took care of she took
care of me I don't save the email she
took care of me too but I took care I
took care of her whole life all right
Ephron wants to charge that's excessive
there's no way I'm paying that for real
estate I'm done but you know what aam
says till death to us I'm with to the
Long Haul we're Inseparable even in
death and what do we tell the and Kal
standing under
that you know you're GNA run into a
roadblock life's going to get hard why
do we break a glass at the end of the
wedding because even before you leave
the we want to show you that things are
going to break right now they're amazing
and they're amazing and they're perfect
and they're adorable isn't he sweet
isn't he cute isn't he
amazing the greatest couple ever
happened the greatest people that ever
lived the great everything's amazing
everything's great hey great people
before you walk away from your things
are going to break things are going to
break and what are you going to do then
when something breaks so we tell the
couple
the where do you learn about marriage
from that was in it all the way till the
end even after sah was gone he spared no
expense to give her the proper burial
because that doesn't mean there aren't
times then divorce is also a Mitzvah
there are times that divorce is also a
Mitzvah there are times
but under the their attitude should be
we're in this like a and
Sarah that's how long we're in it that's
this is not we'll give it a shot we'll
see how it goes I turn in my car lease
every three years I upgrade my phone
every two years I do my whatever every
couple years we'll see if I like this
model of a wife of a husband maybe I
have to turn it in maybe I have to
exchange maybe I'll have to upgrade then
don't get married if you're already
thinking about I'll give it a shot I'll
see how it goes we'll try it and if I
don't like this model I'll upgrade to
the newest model if that's your attitude
don't walk under the because if you walk
under
that only step under that if you're
confident that you're in this all the
way
through so he hears Eon and he takes the
400 and
heon if you look at Rashi says eon's
name in
thison ephron's name is missing what
letter it's missing a
v because you know ephon
Eon over promised and underd
delivered
us say little and do much you know what
Ephron was one of those people who said
much and did
little we all know in our lives the two
types of people there are two types of
people in this world they're the people
who don't say anything but they get a
lot done the people who talk and talk
and talk and talk and talk and when the
push comes to shove it's time to put up
I can't I would I wanted to
talk little and do much
was because of
that why do we take a letter out of his
name and if you're gonna take a letter
out of his name why the letter V now
that question is not so compelling
because there weren't a lot of options
if you take the pay out of his name it's
eron if you take the ra out of his name
it's Eon like the only letter that's
disposable is V so that question is not
so compelling because it's the only
disposable letter in the name was the
letter V you could spell it Mal or with
the V or without but the question is why
is this mid mid Efron is some low life
big talker over promising undeliver so
the Torah records his name without the V
why
says the in tells us we have a the tells
us that a should live their life
being says how do you
fulfill cling to God cleave to God what
does that mean so you know what the says
it
means what is the word de in Hebrew
modern Hebrew
glue
glue yourself to God attach yourself to
God we use this in our vernacular new
kid comes to school middle of the Year
transfers in has one friend in the
school what does that friend say on the
first
day stick with me stick with me sit with
me in the dining room the cafeteria sit
next to me in class stick with me you'll
be fine stick with me you'll be fine
hasem
says be like stick with me you'll be
fine that's
says how do you
fulfill is hasem saying attach yourself
to me de glue stick with me you'll be
fine you'll be fine but the
Wonders the says Hashem is an all
consuming fire you're going to attach
yourself to the omnipotent infinite
creator of the universe who is an all
consuming
fire is it really
possible says the how do
you you know how you
fulfill marry your daughter off to
a marry your daughter to a find a good
with a sonin-law
is I would it even suggested marry your
son to A A righteous woman in both
directions do business
with take care
of
lavish with gifts take good care of them
take good care of them
so when you do that you're attaching
yourself to the closest thing you can to
the in this world we don't have in this
world we believe that human beings are
all fallible and they're mere mortals
but the more one Masters Torah the more
they're married to Hashem the more they
can finish hashem's sentences the more
they can represent Hashem in this world
so the closer you can
come attach yourself
to you know we learned dka from this
para the Torah takes enormous amount of
real estate and space in our PAs to tell
us the whole story of conversation the
going coming
repeating why so much space so much time
for event of History it's not a why to
learn from here do you know how valuable
even
the not only the she not only to learn
the Torah but the opportunity to sit in
the office get opportunity Thanksgiving
weekend we'll have back every
year
should Thanksgiving weekend the
opportunity not only the formal but the
conversation's in between so the gar
says how do you
fulfill can't attach ourselves to he's
an all consuming fire what's the closest
we can come find righteous people and I
would expand this to say I don't think
it's so radical find
righteous men and women how many people
visited got a from I know that many
years ago when I was in you got a quick
from who did you enjoy with reki in the
kitchen not only the young Seminary
girls I was
young go get a from her she would Sho
righteous men and women that's the to
mavic but one of the examples the G
gives
is favor doing business
Commerce
Eon had a perfect Prime opportunity to
fulfill this F
this doctrine
of a ainu the spokesman of ethical
monotheism a ainu who's radically
transforming the world introducing the
belief in the one and only Hashem and he
comes to you to buy your real estate
give him a discount give him off
certainly give him a fair deal run to
take care of him don't come to me I'll
come to you I know you're just getting
up from shiva I'll take care of all the
paperwork I'll take care of the realtor
fee I'll take care of the and I'm giving
you not only the market value I'm
getting you even a better deal because I
have the chance for an A A for who you
are and the difference that you're
making but instead of doing that what
does he
do he extorts a he makes him overpay and
because of that that he loses the letter
V why the letter
V the letter V more than any letter in
the alphabet the letter v v is the
V the V is what creates attachment the V
links this and that the V means and the
V creates connection Ephron had the
chance to connect to cling to cleave to
fulfill if he would have done the proper
business deal with aam he didn't because
he didn't he didn't do with he lost the
letter V he lost the a beautiful Insight
of and his new
safer eph forfeited the letter V because
he forfeited the opportunity to do PR
with we all wantem we want a connection
with hem and we can but we could also
connect with the closest we can get to
hasem I say in the Amun all the time and
it's not my own thought I forgot where I
first read it or heard it you know the
example sometimes you lose a connection
on your phone people panic no Wi-fi no
connection they Panic have to be
connected I have to be connected and
you're in a place that you have no
connection and then you find somebody
that you're with they're on a different
service and they're connected what do
you say to them please could you turn
your phone into a
Hotpot turn your phone into a hot spot
so I can connect through you sometimes
when it comes to connecting to Hashem we
have no service we have no connection we
have no bars or we have one bar and
we're struggling to connect when you
come to a when you host a when you sit
and drink at the feet of a when you
enjoy
even they become our hot spot we can
connect by attaching to them that takes
the letter V takes a takes a connection
it takes
a continues the letter also can be
understood because he didn't take care
of the
V he lost the letter V okay Torah
continues now as I mentioned earlier how
does aam react he loses his loved one
Sarah he spends time negotiating with
his low life he buries her inter her
properly what comes
next and a was old well on in years
that's how the article
translates Zak Zak you understand Z he's
older he started to
collect Social
Security he got a discount at the
movie and what is BBA
that's a funny
expression so we already said
the means our days come and testify how
we filled them what we did in them in's
days testified
well blessed what does it mean he gave
him everything what's the that he gave
AB so say doesn't mean a son we already
know he had a son he already had doesn't
mean a daughter
B had a he a daughter does it mean what
does it mean b we know that this B is
something special that AB has AR takes
the coal that he has whom does he give
it
to who does give the BR of Cole
to
yov we say this every time you
bench B
mik is
this and with it says he gave him mik
with yob it says
B Cole Cole so what is this coal what is
this treasure what is this BR what is
this gift that AB had he gave it to and
he gave it to
jakov is the advertisement for that
expensive watch to take Philip I don't
know how to pronounce it even I don't
know how to pronounce it I have no TAA
for it and I can't afford it but there's
a great ad says you never own one you
just hold it for the Next Generation
I don't know why that's a great because
every family only ever needs to buy one
I would think it would say you love
yours buy one for every member of your
family but they don't need my opinion
they didn't ask my opinion it's a great
head you don't own you never own it you
just hold on to it for the next
Generation so this coal is a bra that AB
has and he just watches it and protects
it to give to Y to give to yob what is
it and why do we want it we
ask we we say in the end of benching B
mikem give us a piece of the coal b m co
give us some of this coal what is this
coal what is it that we want what is it
that they had we spoke about it in the
past you can listen online but this
year why is the Tor here
testifying is it good or bad being a
zing
both the answer is yes it's good and bad
on the one hand we DAV on the one hand
we DAV we say in we say
oner never consider me a Zu don't
dismiss me don't give up on me don't
fail believing in me don't let me ever
see myself as a Zak who's da who's
finished who complete got to always be
hungry always moving always growing best
is always yet to come on the one hand on
the other hand Torah here seems to
observe
fondly aam pleasantly reached the age of
zus so the says you know that until aam
there was no such thing as a Zak you
know what happened your hair never
turned gray it never fell out your
muscles didn't atrophy your joints
didn't give up on you your organs didn't
begin to fail your you know your it
didn't start to go you can keep going
over here this is so uplifting no so
uplifting you never got wrinkles any
anyone else here anyone else uh you're
hearing didn't start to
go okay that's enough it's enough for
today until aam all of your faculties
all of your youthfulness all of your
complexion all of your hairline all of
your hair color it all remained it all
remained so why did it change with
says looked
identical sometimes someone thought they
were talking to they were talking to and
sometimes someone needed to talk to and
they were talking
to came and said to Hashem hasem could
could you help out a little bit over
here I look like a teenager I'm a 100
years old and I look like a
teenager I look the same as my son
people confuse us all the time can you
let me age gracefully let me embrace
aging it's
a that's why the Torah
says hasem answered him in the
affirmative growing old is a it's a
certainly when you consider the
alternative it's a br it's a br we have
a member of the Shu in a couple of weeks
is going to turn
95 he's healthy and spry and amazing and
as involved in the leadership of the sh
as he's ever been as he's ever
been talked about maybe he should be
president again I said what are you
trying to make Joe Biden look young what
you young so you ask him how he's doing
he says I'm not gonna die
young it's turning
95 somebody said he told me somebody
recently wish wished him should have a
long life he said
done BR has already been fulfilled what
a br so Z
lean in lean into it don't try you're
not fooling anyone the Botox and
coloring your hair and I'm talking to
the men you're not fooling it women I'm
not going near with that you do whatever
you want whatever makes you feel good
whatever makes you feel young but you're
not fooling anyone lean into
it D for it he D for it so embrace it
I'm I'm I'm not only a member of I'm
like the spokesman of the club I'm the
poster child of the club so I could say
this
you could be
125 and you had the same Vigor and the
same energy and the same passion the
same drive as when you were 25 years old
32 years
old and what happened you were young you
you weren't young in age you were older
but in Vigor in health in appearance you
looked young P the abruptly a person
would Dro dead there was no illness
there was no aging they just disappeared
there was no chance to say goodbye there
was no preparation there was no
utilizing those older years to be able
to transfer transform
values you know what happens you know
what the benefit of age is when you're
young you think you're Immortal you
think you'll live forever and you live
that way and when you get a little bit
older you start to re-evaluate your
priorities revalue your time the
difference you want to make the message
you want to leave the impact that you
want to have the Legacy that you want to
create zna is a beautiful thing aging is
a br it's a br and he adds Dr that with
aging you have less of that drive and
that passion and the energy and the
Atara you're able to live a little bit
more with Serenity and with peace the
things that made you lose your cool when
you were young now you realize they're
not so important they're not worth
losing your cool over they're not worth
forfeiting your happiness about ZN can
be a if a person leans into it and
Embraces it like for
it it can be a it can be a br and here
finally we move over to some other
ideas says the following
idea
he has a little bit of a different idea
a different perspective he
says even though is a even though
according to the calendar he's an old
man he came like every day was the first
day he put on his fing like he was a bar
mitzvah
boy Z he might have been old in years
but he was he brought the enthusiasm
that every day was like a new day the
first day put on hisin like a bar
mitzvah the very first time he was
putting on Fillin he talked his attitude
to Sarah before she died they were
married they celebrated the 70th 80th
anniversary and he celebrated 80th
anniversary he acted like a newly wedd
in shisha he was a Zak but
like every day was new every day was the
first he quotes by he continues the by
quoting
theom
says
learn a person would leave this world as
pure and innocent and sin-free as when
we enter it and that's theam Z even when
he was a he
was he
was even though he was a Zak he still
was innocent and pure and sin-free that
was A's greatness A's
greatness so now he realizes I'm an old
man if Sarah died who's next it's time
to make preparations the preparations
are not just meeting with the estate
attorney preparations are not just
figuring out your estate and your assets
preparations are not about setting up
your trusts revocable and
irrevocable your your not just about
calculating how much money you're
leaving to Bon synagogue generously a
lot toel of course but it's about
realizing the
future the G left it an ethical will how
could I leave this world says without
seeing who is going to marry who is
going to choose what kind of shabas
table they're gonna have what kind of
they're gonna give me how could I leave
this world without going to aish party
so what does he do next he goes to set
up says
the he sends elzar who's in charge of
his household he makes him swear he
makes him swear this I said I think last
year or two years ago
he's M elzar's trusted with his whole
estate and we know
that made him very very very wealthy
he's on the four
400u and who is the CFO of his whole
world elezar when it came to
elzar when it comes to go
finding he makes elzar swear when it
came to managing his fortune he said
here are the passwords here are the
passwords here are the codes here's
everything you need here's everything
here's
everything I forgot which God once
observed about too many from Jews in
America say you know when it comes to
their housekeeper they lock their
jewelry in the safe they don't trust
them but they give the children say you
raise the children while all be out and
away when it should be the opposite the
safe I'll leave unlocked but my children
here are the passwords swear on a safe
of Torah that you're going to take good
care of them we get it backwards a said
when it came to my whole my assets my
things ah here the password I trust you
but my son when it comes to my son you
need to swear on a safe of Torah and we
have it backwards we lock the jewelry in
the safe we hide the cash in theum under
the mattress but the kids we say yeah
you rais them you got it you take it you
take it we have it backwards so elzar
goes on this Mission and he makes a
deal the woman will say lower your jar
your jug and I'll
drink and she'll give me to drink and
give to the
camels so that'll be the one I'll know
she's the one she's the right one
reaches out to hem he makes this deal
with hem he doesn't say to Hashem he
doesn't say to Hashem I need to see a
picture on the resume is she a size
two three four Max he doesn't say he
doesn't say what's the what's the who is
she who who is z who's her bbby he
doesn't ask for the he doesn't ask for
the dress size he doesn't say are the
parents GNA support he's say my client
my one of the they're not going
5050 she's gonna have to pay everything
all in plus the apartment alaza doesn't
say any of that what does he ask for
just got to be kind compassion
giving good generous she'll give me to
drink and give my camels to drink and
the rest will fall into place the money
the the dress size yet later elzar now
meets the one and what does he observe
about Rifka
[Music]
sayas so look her she's beautiful it's a
beautiful
woman the same who a moment ago said
looks don't matter money doesn't matter
you doesn't matter Hashem just make her
generous with me and with the camels and
now fast forward and what does elzar
observe She's Not Just
toas magnificently beautiful I thought
he just said it's the inside that
matters so listen to the kaker Alazar
tested rifka's quality of generosity and
kindness
if the bride has beautiful eyes you
don't have to look any
further bride has beautiful eyes you
look into her eyes they're beautiful
they're Hazel they're green she's
beautiful sparkly eyes you don't have to
look any further is that going to be the
new thing in shim don't include a
picture on the resume just her eyes just
the eyes her and a
burka just put a picture of her a
burka says the kaker that can't be what
it means because there are plenty of
less attractive Brides I'm reading to
you from the kaker there are plenty I'm
reading in English we're out of time
there are plenty of less attractive
brides with beautiful eyes and how could
call for the examination of external
beauty I thought we
say who was that written about by the
way the M tells us is A's HP for
sah you go PK by PK each one is a
talking about his
sah the says this was for so here when
it comes to this's
Mother false is charm vain is
beauty that's all that matters and now
alzar says true but
she's she's really beautiful true but
she has his beautiful eyes I don't have
to look any further what's meant listen
to what the kakar says he said you know
what it
means doesn't mean she has beautiful
sparkly eyes it means does she see the
world
generously to have beautiful eyes means
does she have a beautiful outlook on the
world does she see opportunities does
she see a chance to make a difference
does she see the world as inviting her
to influence it
what it means to have beautiful eyes is
to have a beautiful Outlook a beautiful
perspective and that's what elzar's
commenting
toas she has a beautiful outlook on the
world not she's a beautiful girl a
beautiful woman he thought that too
that's why he tried to steal her for his
own son but he means
toas she has a gmach outlook on the
world she has an incredible view she's
generous she gives the benefit of the
doubt she sees SE people favorably she
loves to run to do she intuits doing
kindness she's a giver she cares she
wants to do good she wants to do good
and that's why the
says this mid this character trait we
inherit from
rifu kindness and generous generosity
that's what it means to be a yid to be a
Jew of kir why did elzar still need to
see Rifka pass the test about giving the
camels to drink a miracle happened what
did he observe what happened she bent
down and what happened instead of having
to drop the bucket and make it to the
bottom of the well and use all that
energy to lift it she saw the water Rose
miraculously alaza should have
said good Lu enough seal the deal sh
we're in we're in but he still had to
wait for her to see you drink and your
camels drink why if you see himself do a
miracle you still need to see so he
answers Miracles can happen for someone
they can have tremendous amuna but they
have to do they have to
do they have to show that generosity
they have to show that kindness they
have to have that that Quality quality
they have to be willing to make a
difference our good friend our old
friend coming back the Tor says about
this
how old is Rifka when this
happened she was three years
old because when was being offered on
the altar is the year that RKA was born
was how
old 37 he waited three years after the
AA to find his wife so how old was she
three how can a three-year-old go to the
well they can't even see over the wall
of the
well because the three-year-old then was
the equivalent of the 10y old
today that is the opinion of the medish
tell you a story when my one of my
daughters was a little girl seven eight
years old we got a call from school that
she was doodling that day not paying
attention she got in trouble so she came
up from school I still vividly remember
Y and I sat with her in the backyard and
we said what happened in school today we
got a call so she started crying she
started crying and she said you know I
got in trouble I was doodling I wasn't
paying attention we said how could you
doodle how could you not pay attention
learning Torah so she looked up and she
said she said ABA when my teacher says
things that don't make sense I stopped
listening I said what did your teacher
said that didn't make any sense said my
teacher told me that Rifka was three
years old when she got married it
doesn't make sense threey olds don't get
married so my teacher is gonna say silly
things I stop
listening you ever worry about your
child but have knas from them in the
same
moment the truth is the burden wasn't on
my
daughter because there's a medish that
says it doesn't mean that's the medish
that we have to teach the little
children who says that's the med you
have to teach in the information age
where children have access and are told
to use their logic and rational thinking
and then you're going to deposit a med
that even adults have to figure out what
does it mean exactly she was three was
she really three was the three the same
then as it is
now the
name has a tradition she was 14 years
old and he proves it from a
different and he quotes here
from that quotes from he has all these
different opinions how old was she
exactly why am I telling you that
because there's a lot of opinions where
does it say that the teacher has to say
she was three when you're 30 years old
you could learn that medish and try to
figure it out but we have to use our SE
what we teach our children also not
every medish that's going to
complicate it's also hard to picture the
SE split but those are that's a in the
Torah and that believe hasm did a
miracle to see split it's a me she was
three there another me she was 14 there
another Med she was a different age
teach the Mish that will make children
say this makes sense to me this is
beautiful when they get a little bit
older you could teach the other MIM as
well
introduced there's so much I don't think
I got through
50% barely scratch the surface of the
para it's an amazing Para a lot more to
say about it please stay for a few more
minutes Gordon's going to hand out theum
finish
together