Night of Chizuk in Efrat in memory of Lucy, Maia and Rina Dee Hy'd with R' Efrem Goldberg, R' Shl...

[Music] l [Music] [Applause] [Music] la [Applause] [Music] I y sh [Music] [Applause] then [Applause] am I am I am [Music] d [Music] [Laughter] us [Music] May and everlasting love I have loved you for this I have drawn you with my love and everlasting love I have loved you for this I have drawn [Music] you with my love the mountains will and the hill for the mountains will drumble and the hillside will fade away but my love for you will not end a bit stronger [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so we have a little uh a big not a little a big T tonight a big job and that that's going much faster to a place that we all want to be there so badly all of us each and every year in the world and that is that place where there's no anymore there's no concealment it's like a shabas and the way that we in this beautiful Community have been approaching interpreting and experiencing these days has been fueled with a tremend tremendous amount of other worldly that we've all been receiving from the sh we were all there at the first two levas when Leo just started pouring out his heart speaking about amuna amuna amuna and we all remember when Leo mentioned a Torah that he had heard from one of of our very very special guests tonight it's not a guest sorry not guests this is a it's not a teaching that he had heard from Rabbi Goldberg thata is focusing on what you have and not focusing on what you don't have and we have a lot we have a lot we have each other we should [Music] and we have so many friends and teachers from near and far that are working for am and it gives us a a tremendous amount of uh of but a feeling of closeness to that have been Ming on many of us in this room for a long time without them even knowing it as we were discussing throughout the day and I'm Leo as well who had told me how many years he's been receiving and strength from from Goldberg synagogue as well as from one of the re Young Israel of wood and both of their toras have been finding the hearts of many of us through W Torah other avenues other channels so tonight is a night to continue that M that exact Mah and to be together to hear with each other to give K to receive and tonight we have two that didn't just pay a shiv call through an email or a text but flew here we should just come out closer stronger deeper and like I said in the beginning it should just be the next time we're here and many more times that we're gathered like this we're dancing and we're singing we're going to be greeting it gives me a great honor to introduce and ask Rea from Goldberg to please begin you have sh there of sh thank you for hosting thank you for your friendship thank you for your inspiration and I'm sorry it's in this way but what a to see this beautiful This Magnificent sh so much more than a sh to see this movement that's being created in this space just touching so many all over and we should gather only for for to be here on this journey with you gives me a lot of again and I thank you for this is very hard for me to address you tonight because I feel so incredibly grossly inadequate to give to say words speaking to a room full of people who've intertwined your destiny with our Jewish homeland with the miracle that is the modern state of Israel the Fright lines of the Jewish future Community who was most reeling from this inexplicable tragedy loss which has broken CLA all around the world what role and what words and what right cuz we took a comfortable flight direct from New York from Florida to be here for a few hours to get physic maybe to give a little bit so I feel really grossly inadequate but I can't describe to you the feeling that I had when rev Leo referenced me and the message and the power of torum the Jews whose bodies have never been in the same room who've never spoken who've never met but whose Souls whose mishas could be learning and drinking from the same Fountain of Torah can feel so incredibly close it wasn't a choice if to come but I we felt drawn by that magnetism and by that meaning and if Rao said over the last several years we've had the privilege to learn together virtually over the last 10 days he's become my re through his courage and his strength and his amuna and his love and his light and the messages that he's been using this horrifically tragic and unwelcome platform to communicate very diverse audiences and people and messages what a powerful teacher to us all and while was been projecting this incredible sense of amuna the strength without questions were just coming off of the Y of the holiday of questions and the story is told maybe the illustrious R has told it recently here of the when he got to the Manana told it recently not recent enough not recent enough last year I'm going to tell a a ditch of a story here in of clearly sleep deprived so you know the story in a moment they got to theas the four questions the man put his head down on the table and silent and everybody at the S waited the moment turned into a minute and the minute turned into five and five into 10 oat we didn't LIF set off the table and everyone waited and everyone wondered that sadic what is he thinking what is he doing it's the middle of the royal Regal night of the Seda that we just experienced and finally when he lifted his head off the table he said four questions four questions if we start to ask we don't have four questions we have 400 questions we have 4,000 questions we have 4 million questions today was Y Mas we have 6 million questions and here tonight we have 6 million and3 questions at least if we start to if we start to wonder then there is no end to the questions to the challenge to the doubt to the uncertainty to the pain to the pain it's okay that we're hurting it's okay that we're in pain it's appropriate it's correct it's the it's what mourning and grieving are all about and we'll we'll hear more about we'll hear more about it's not a contradiction of our inem and our faith and our recognition that nothing is random to also to Cry tears to ball to feel broken it's an incredible Mish I read in a saer about a prominent R who had lost a child and lived with Incredible guilt over the contradictory emotions he was trying to reconcile on the one end un wavering une unequivocal faith in Hashem a sense that everything that doeses is good and for the best and how could we question on the other the only natural questions that arise in pain the tears the profound and deep grief how could he make sense of it and the contradiction was it a failure a breakdown [Music] in and he went to speak to one of his one who pointed him to an incredible it's not a me that's well known enough but it should be the describes that a AO on the way to the AA simultaneously had tears streaming down his cheeks and Sim in his heart that was able to hold and able to maintain those two emotions simultaneously they're not contradictions they can coexist they're both true they're both real they both deserve to be honored a person have a simply in their heart to know that we surrender and we submit and we yield to the will of theem that he's in charge and he's control and we work for him he doesn't work for us that we're not entitled to understand and we can't comprehend in this world we're not the first to ask and we won't be the last to ask and we will not get answers Here and Now person can surrender and have the wholeness in their heart and the in their heart to know that there is an Almighty there's there's is in charge he is in control and one day we will understand and at the same time the tears can stream down our cheeks that doesn't dull or take away the pain and the grief and the Brokenness and the whole that's in our heart and so whatever of Leo is displaying and portraying and whatever he is finding the strength with his family is for him and that doesn't have to be the standard for us and the way that we are reacting and responding and what this means for us doesn't have to be for him each in their own way but it's not a contradiction [Music] to also be grief stricken and broken earlier today at the Shiva home R Leo quoted Victor Frankle the great psychotherapist who survived today an appropriate day to invoke his memory man search for meaning and so much of that work is based on a comment of nii that that he who has a why to live for can bear almost any how he who has a why to live for if we know why we're here and what life is all about and what is our mission and what are we meant to do if we have a why if we have a why to our lives then we can bear almost anyhow and R expressed how that's getting him through this time he's focused and dedicated on the why and using this pain as a platform to challenge so many people to leave their comfort zone and to do the things that will bring finally a g and eliminate this pain and reunite us with those who are no longer here he is heavily intensely focused on the why not the Lama not getting stuck or caught up in the Lama but focused on the Lama now what what do we do how do we react how can we repair this world and in that capacity he's taught us so many lessons but I want to expand on and dwell on one in particular to share the I'm trying to draw and eagerly to hear the of my dear and colleagues as well or why or why why what is the why of what is the why of Torah what is the why that can get us to almost any how hows that are unimaginable and unexplainable and unbearable but what is the why we just came off P we're still the taste of the mat the taste of the mat is still in our mouth the taste of PES is still in our kishkas and we're marching we're climbing points out not down every other countdown is down going on vacation finish with school going to take finals go you count down we're counting up we're not looking forward to the end of something to the relief or break from something we're marching towards something there's a destination there's a mountain that we're going to gather at the base of and we are going to be United like never before and we're climbing and climbing and climbing and growing and progressing and adding until the UN of sh when we'll stand together and we receive that Torah a new we recite the every day whether you get or just every morning and the are formula they are the formula for yish not only thematically in what matters most but also chronologically in terms of how and when it happened but also our priorities as we relive each year this experience and in the we say first CH us before he gave us and before he charged us and before he bestowed upon us that sacred Torah that manual from life before he turned us into a nation he turned us into a people he turned us into a family the prerequisite and the foundation to receiving the Torah is the first to become an am the word am Nation comes from the words of IM you're not an am a nation of separate and apart and divided and disagreeing people you're a nation you're an of when you are in when you are integrated and when our lives intersect and when we celebrate each other's pleasure and when we deeply and profoundly feel each other's pain this March towards SI begins with we don't get to stand there and to re receive that Torah until we prove that we are chosen that we've come together that we have melded and shelled into an arm once again and I are here because we feel so connected and we are not here representing ourselves we're not here representing only our families we're not here representing only our shoes our kilos we are here representing so many Jews around the world who when this something like this strikes or happens feel so deeply connected our heart beats with the heart of claw Israel and er Israel with you the people of E with the de family with the Jewish people around the world we are here because we couldn't stay away we are here because we need to and want to be together in this moment of something that is so much is so much bigger than any of us we beautiful song your song but still a beautiful song in which we say open your heart to me my sister my love my Dove s my perfection you see the Jewish people in this P the wisest of all men compared CLA to a dove of all animals of all possible species of birds why specifically a Yona why a dove what feature what characteristic what is the Hallmark of this Dove but was trying to paint that picture for us as we read this love story that began us on this march on this journey to stand under that of with hasem why [Music] D oberved if the Torah had not been given we would be able to look at and observe the animal kingdom and draw and derive lessons for Life MOS character from Simply watching and observing modesty from the cat an honest labor hard work from The Ant and we would learn Aras we would learn the notion of fidelity of monogamy of loyalty from the Yona good maners from the rooster but from the Yona from the dub says the gar what we would learn is loyalty loyalty what does it mean to be loyal what does it mean to be connected what does it mean to care for another the men mamad tells us that the dove the Yona is innocent and graceful and distinguished and most of all the Yona is faithful and fiercely loyal and these are the character traits of Cl Isel to be fiercely loyal the way a parent is for a child that we will protect protect from any harm any injury any hurt any danger is the way we need to be towards one another fiercely loyal and faithful and loving and caring no matter our disagreements no matter our diversity of which there are so many legitimate things to disagree about the homework of our people like Yoni is to be and to have that faithfulness now not the time but it explains unusual in our par with the Corb of the brings out of order there AAL Al of beautiful Torah the Loyalty because the corbon you only bring one not the pair we don't want to separate the faithful the loyal the fiercely loyal because that's what it means to be a member of CLA is and that's what CLA Israel needs at this time there's so much disloyalty an important topics that people disagree about they're important but we have to learn to disagree agreeably we have to learn to focus on the foundation that overwhelmingly we have in common a history the history that is responsible for our being here today and the destiny of where we are going together and with whatever we disagree about there is so much more that we have in common and the homework of our people the only way we stand under that mountain the only way that we end this pain this Gus and we welcome that Gula is if we can practice that fierce fierce loyalty loyalty is expressed not only in the big momentous moments tragically and sadly when we fight when we face those threats from outside these big moments these Monumental and historic tragedies we gel and we come together but those feelings naturally fade and they should be not only few and far between they should be never repeated again and as time goes on and as that Fades as we saw previously when kly came together when three boys were missing and then discovered to be murdered and we couldn't imagine we'd never lose that Aus that Unity that love that loyalty and how quickly did it fade how quickly did it disappear within families within friendships among neighbors and within K Israel Over important things to disagree about but if we want to finally end this pain if we want to react and respond with a cabala and a commitment if we want to change our condition and our reality in the world and the all too frequent news of Jews still being attacked Ines throughout the width and breath of Isel in New York and other places around the world we need to learn to become fiercely loyal again not temporarily and not in a reaction immediately but permanently permanently what does that mean to be [Music] loyal this prerequisite to the love affair with the Reon Shalom is the ability to prove that we love one another that we're loyal to one another what does that mean to be loyal and to love and to care it means to love the people that we don't like not everybody's so likable not everybody in the world is likable and I don't know of any MIT in the Torah that obligates us to like every year every fellow Jew there are unlikable behaviors and character traits and beliefs and choices that people in our families and among our friends make but the Torah says you don't have to like everybody but you have to love them Love Is A Verb not an adjective love is loyal loyalty loyalty is to give the benefit of the doubt loyalty is to judge favorably loyalty is to cut slack loyalty is to make space and room for other opinions and other conclusions and other approaches and other personalities if we want to imitate and emulate that Yona that Dove if we want to bring that Gula we need to learn we need to learn that loyalty that fierce fierce loyalty loyalty and love means as the mission of the BR tells us at this time of the year we're supposed to work on the the the 48 ways that Tor is acquired and one of them is to [Music] be I've never seen a scene in my life like we saw earlier today of Cl pouring down on a sh so many there to be and so many there to draw from the aim I've never seen such an outpouring such a response such a line such a crowd control never seen it what a testament to CLA what a testament to this community what a testament to the Deep family but what's going to happen starting tomorrow when they get up from sh what will be next week and next month what about the last family what about a family that's struggling or suffering not as victims of Terror but from something else that feel lonely that feel invisible that feel inconsequential that are suffering and struggling in silence are we no it's very interesting there a phenomenal book called option b sh Sandberg who was the COO Facebook meta whatever it's called now and after she suffered a horrific very very sudden loss of her husband she WR a book option be when life takes option A away from you and you have to turn to option b and it's a phenomenal manual about how to be a loyal friend what to do what not to do what to say what not to say the not to often more important than what to and she gives a lot of very practical advice not for now but for example don't say the open-ended question if you need anything don't hesitate to reach out if I can do anything nobody who ever been in a situation they needed help nobody I've never seen anybody who takes anyone up on that offer if there's anything I can do if you ever need anything don't don't hesitate reach out nobody re nobody reacts to that she gives guidelines fantastic ideas not do you need a meal but what topics do you like on your pizza how do you like your hamburger I'm dropping off dinner tonight don't ask the open-ended question say what you're going to do and why am I sharing this with you because she ends she quotes studies she quotes therapists but she writes quotes some things in life cannot be fixed they can only be carried they can't be fixed they can only be carried K were very specific when they told us that one of the ways to is acquired is not to fix your friends problems but to carry the burden with them to be someone were to walk in this room carrying an incredibly heavy box or piece of love AG sympathy is to look at them and say wow that looks so heavy I feel so bad for them that must be really difficult they're really shitz it empathy is to run over and carry it with them to Bear half of the weight on you to make it just a little bit lighter for them because you are demonstrating to them that you're car get with them K said there are problems that are not fixable there are people that we can't bring back there pain that we can't do but we can make it a little bit lighter by carrying that burden together by being that's loyalty that's what it means to be a y that's how we have to respond that's an answer to a l not Lama that's part of our why to have that Fierce loyalty even for people we don't like especially for people we don't like but to think about what can I do to be no with the D family will continue to have the love and support of extraordinary people in extraordinary Community but also in the Merit and honor Lucy Maya and Reena with others who don't have as much a spotlight and attention who are in the shadows and are suffering and struggling if we're going to learn something from this extraordinary family it's to care about everybody with that loyalty and with that love incredible research recently came out that showed the impact of a text message we sometimes think what am I going to write a text message it really matters I'm thinking about you I'm checking in how are you today what does that mean anything if we only stood understood the difference than that makes to be No Sa but to lift that burden to carry it a little bit to make it a little bit lighter this is the prerequisite to a relationship with quoted by the K others says before you can open that sitter and start ding in the morning you have to first say I accept upon myself I have to before I start talking to you I'm going to take a moment to think about and love your other children my siblings the ones I like and the ones that are unlikable but I'm still going to love before I can talk to you I got to send a text and think about and talk about somebody who might feel invisible and inconsequential and in the shadows it's why some of us look disheveled and we're not listening to music or attending SAS because we're all in us right now who with all that t [Music] learning the love and the Loyalty forgot that love and that loyalty it means it means I'm handing over the microphone momentarily loyalty and love mean making spaces for others and for other opinions the gar says kame there a that you recite when you see a myriad of Jews together when you see an incredible Gathering of diverse Jews together the says the reason the driver of that just as no two faces are identical similar simly opinions personalities conclusions people's thinking is not the same what's the kame the same mean kame the same way the same way know two people look exactly alike so tooo no two personalities no two thinking no two approaches are exactly the same k k years ago came to see the shers after their loss but's brother said this K you never saw someone who looks different than you who has different hair coloring who has different facial features who has different complexion and you never had a tin on them you never came to and said how dare you not look exactly like me how dare you not be identical to me how dare you not be the mirror image of me we understand that's the way we were born we're not in control that's what our DNA produced that's who we are Kain the same way you never had a Tina you never had a complaint an argument you never had a grudge you never held it against someone that they look different than you no know that similarly Dean personalities approaches conclusions opin iions and big issues are critical issues people are entitled they're built differently they're designed differently they come from different backgrounds and they're entitled to that different opinion we have to make space for fellow Jews tell [Music] us this is the source we by taking three steps backwards and then we say before we can ask Hashem for peace for Shalom we take three steps back I want to tell you one of the most beautiful toras I ever saw was a in Chicago he was the son-in-law of and he has the say many he says the following this is the most beautiful idea you can't hope for or wish for or expect there to be peace if you're not willing to take three steps back and make some room for others if it's your way of the highway if it's your opinion if everyone has to concede to what you think there's never going to be peace you have to be willing to take three steps back and that's why and then he says something amazing what else do we do we take our three steps back at the end of the we bow to our left and we bow to our right if you want peace look at the people to the left of you and the people to the right of you religiously to the left of you and to the right of you politically to the left of you and the right of you in every which way bow acknowledge the people to the left of you and the right of you and now you can genuinely and authentically ask for Shalom for peace if you can't take three steps back and make space for others if you can't turn to the left and right and say I love you I don't like your opinion and I'll debate you and I'll disagree agreeably but I love you fiercely and I give you legitimacy and I make space for you and I bow in recognition and honor and in love to you that we can't hope for and we can't want or wish peace there's so much more to say but I'll end just with the story I hear there's no clock in the sh man shf and I are flying back tomorrow we Haven until our flight some of you work so we have a little so much more to share but a [Music] little today was y there was a Jew young unle who owned the bakery he survived the camps and he once told someone you know why I'm still alive didn't how I survived says I was a kid I was a teenager I was young how am I here how do I get through it let me tell you the story we were on a train we were in a box car being taken to ashs night came and it was freezing it was deathly cold in that box car you told the story also when last week last month let's stay away from the stories okay Kar anyway for me so this holy year the Survivor said the night came and it was deathly cold it's unbearably cold in that box car was frigid it's freezing the Germans would leave the cars on the side of the track overnight night sometimes leave it that way for days on end no food no place to relieve oneself no blankets nothing to stay warm no ability to light a fire just exposed to the fierce elements he said sitting next to me was an older Jew this beloved elderly Jew from my hometown I recognized I had never seen him like this he was shivering from head to toe he was shaking the life was coming out of him by the moment so I wrapped my arms around him I began rubbing him to warm him up took my hands I rubbed his back I rubbed his arms I rubbed his legs I rubbed his face I rubbed his neck I cuddled close to him and I begged him the whole night just hang on just stay with me just warmed him all night long a little rubbing a cuddling a drawing close all night long says I was tired I was freezing cold myself my fingers were numb I couldn't feel them but I didn't stop just rubbing him just drawing close to him just asking him and begging him just hold on hours and hours went by and finally the night passed and the sun came and it took away just the edge of the frigidness a bit there was some warmth in the cabin and the Survivor said I looked around I looked around the Box Car to see some of the other Jews in the car he said but there was deathly silence and I looked around the box car and there were frozen frozen bodies who the shamas had left them he said nobody else in the train in that car made it through the night they died from the frost only two people survived the old man and me the old man survived because somebody kept him warm I survived because I was warming somebody else if we want to survive this Gus if we want to not have to pay these shoc calls if we want to finally end this Darkness then we have to show this loyalty to warm up the people around us heberg said when we left the camps we never imagined that a Jew could ever hate another Jew we didn't imagine how could it be after what we had been through and the de get up from sh tomorrow we have to not be able to imagine that a Jew could ever hate another Jew after with this community after what claw Israel has been through we have to warm up one another we have to check in and love one another we have to be no with one another we have to be more loyal to one another by making that space by taking those steps back to make that room for others by bowing and acknowledging the people to the left and to the right of us to the great Shalom to the ultimate peace to the ultimate end of days amen amen [Laughter] da [Laughter] la la [Music] sh sh [Laughter] [Applause] oh [Applause] [Music] sh sh [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] before we have this Clos of hearing from I want to give a to's brother it's one of my very close friends many years who the second that he heard that this trip was happening you think he really was the put the zor you put the seed in to uh set us set this up and plant the seed for this uh this being together so to him and so many people here are are very are just filled today with um a CPA excitement but also like uh everything they always feel from hearing your toras so live so I thank you so much for being here [Music] forward thank you shal for bringing us all together you're the glue that makes all of this happen and thank you ream for always partnering for Devar mitvah it's his to be a small part of the Jewish people and to be humbled by going to places like we went together this morning and having the opportunity to be reminded once again how small we are when we're in the presence of such greatness and I thank you for giving us this opportunity once again to come together is that's why we're here not to give be and I came together really to receive you know the say what binds us together as a nation is the fact that we have a tot and we were so moved today when R Leo told both of us that it's been a decade that he's been following listening to our shum honestly was embarrassing when he started talking about the emails that he sent both of us that neither of us recalled but as RAM said the connection that Jews have with each other through the medium of Torah is something sh take that will never be broken it's the strongest and deepest connection that we all have as a people and that that to us was one of the most powerful feelings that we had this morning just so humbling to see how who love in his to find all of us together people who have never met but people who Feel So Close just by the nature of the fact that they learn and study and try to come closer to through his T it's no secret that this is as the describes we're about to say it and tells us that is a reference to very often unfortunately the experience that we have in that feels like darkness that to anyone who's watching and following we see nothing but darkness in front of us and this is one of those moments as we mentioned RAB is a very positive person and he has a certain perspective which is a very Noble one but for the rest of us who are just simple people I shouldn't say about any of you for the two of us who felt very small and simple this morning I walked out saying to me he's very positive but this is a very dark time the talks about the story of on one occasion he went up to the heavens and he was given an insight into what's happening behind the curtain and he came back and his friends were so excited to hear what he was going to report and what he came back and shared with them was one very simple message you're not going to believe what I saw but everything was flipped we have a perspective here of who's important and who's prominent and suddenly I went to another world and I saw that everything was flipped and all the people who we thought were so important really are not that significant and some of the people who maybe we have overlooked and not paid enough attention to in fact in the eyes of are extremely important our perception our perspective is very different than the one that has for our world which is why the describing the experience of Our Lives writes very clearly we say it on [Music] a the that exists between [Music] there's such a tremendous Gap that exists between the understanding of the workings of and the processing that we are able to do here so what does that mean do we live in an alternative Universe do we live in a different world and we inhabit a different experience pus writes in one of his in explaining this he gives such a beautiful mush he says imagine you have a parent and a child looking out from a window on the third floor of a building and they're both looking out into the street the child is only 2 and 1/2 years old the parent is already an adult of course they see and they notice everything the same they notice all the cars passing by all the trucks they see people walking in different directions the difference between both of their perspectives is the child does not know how to interpret what it is that they see they see something yellow they see something green the adult when they see that they understand this is a school bus that our children being picked up or dropped off to go to school this is a garbage truck and the collectors are coming around to do their jobs and this truck is delivering mail what they see they have an ability to interpret and that's what it means he explains it's not that we see differently than it's that we have great difficulty interpreting what it is that we see we see the same world asish who sees but it's difficult for us to understand the interpretation to internalize what it is that we're seeing we just celebrated PES as we mentioned and it's the it's and you ask yourself and I feel humbled not only to be in the presence of the family that we are with this morning but to be in the presence of people who are actually further our Gul let's be honest I am not I'm not bringing the Gula Closer by living in the United States and it's something that bothers me every single day I understand there's one easy answer move to Israel got it hopefully it's what we call in gamar language a over something that in the right time will be able to fix but speaking in the presence of people who are Act ly being a part of producing this G that we're all watching that we're all experiencing is very humbling and you ask yourself is this a part of gula how many lives have to be lost how many families have to be destroyed how many siblings have to be killed how many levas do we need to attend think back to the Gula M where moshu was tasked with negotiating with Paro trying to get the Jewish people out and to finally be free to have their G and Mos turns back to and he says from the moment I stepped into's office from the moment I started negotiating on behalf of the Jewish people things only got worse and nothing at all got better and this is part of Kul MOS had the same question that I have and that you have and that your children have and that Jews have had for so many years how can this be part of and writes in his commentary a very famous set of phrases what that means is that there's a is a process and Gula unfolds and as part of gula you may encoun questions like had which are how can this be a part of the what does Gul mean when this is what we're experiencing the way I think about it is the n sometimes describe G in terms of a woman who is pregnant and giving birth and for anybody who's been through that experience or been close to someone who's gone through that experience you know that along the way sometimes there are unexpected things that happen sometimes there are cramps and sometimes there's just a doctor visit where we expected everything to be a regular checkup and you come home that night and it's not at all what you anticipated and it's not what you expected and why didn't your spouse come to that appointment because we didn't expect anything differently than what we've heard every other appointment and sometimes that's part of the process of a pregnancy and maybe that's what the n mean when they describe Gula in some way to be similar to a pregnancy that there are unexpected cramps along the way and sometimes very painful moments in this pregnancy for that's been the experience that the Jewish people have had and it leaves us with lots of questions every summer I'm privileged to spend two weeks together with my family in Camp Sima it's the happiest place in the world and the most painful place to be at the same [Music] time when I first went there six or seven years ago never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what I would be having conversations with some of the campers about I was told if there's a sh in the middle of C Ator you'll answer it and if something comes up chabis they're not sure what to do or if a muza falls down you'll tell them where to hang it up said it sounds like a nice idea little did I know I would be talking to 150 kids who are struggling with their own issues struggling with their health undergoing chemotherapy young children and most of all struggling with their amuna I was not equipped to deal with this at all nobody told me what to say and the truth is I really had nothing to say I walked around and continued to do so with a notepad and I listen and I take notes cuz I'm so inspired just to share with you one small glimpse I shared it before witho this summer I was asked to speak to the oldest Division and on Shas afternoon they wanted to have a very open and Frank conversation about amuna issues now how do you talked to 16 to 19y olds about amuna issues when they've just been through chemotherapy or on active chemotherapy and they have a million in one questions on the ronish aroma as they should have and it's not just a question of why me it's a lot deeper than that and we had a difficult conversation after we were finished two of the girls came over to me ironically one was from from Williamsburg one was from Monroe two different segments of the sophomore Community whose parents would never talk to each other but the two of them became so close through their time together in the summer because they were experiencing the same kind of illness they're both two and a half years in remission and they came over to me and they were crying and they were embarrassed and I asked them what was wrong they wanted to talk privately and they said they never shared the with their families with their parents with their siblings but because they become so close to each other they shared their most inner feelings over the course of the weeks they spent together in Camp and they were surprised to learn that both of them offer the same tilila every single day and both of them offer although they two and a half years in remission they asked that should make them sick again and I looked at them in shock couldn't understand what this was about and they said the kiras Elohim that we felt when we laid in those hospital beds alone it was during Co we were undergoing chemo they told us because we were over certain age even our parents couldn't come in and at times we were alone nights shabas and we felt and it's something we have missed every single day since we've been in remission these are the kinds of conversations we had and I remember after my first summer engaging in these discussions I called my great teacher in rashar Weiss and I told him there's something wrong with me I just spent 2 weeks in Camp simp I'm falling apart I was not prepared for this I had nothing to say and I have no [Music] Amun these kids questions are really powerful and to me I said I feel like they're right so what should I do and he told me something that has stuck with me since that moment he asked me challenge yourself and think about who is the greatest believer Ines in all the pages of most notably it was look what he was prepared to do Theos each one progressively getting more difficult more complicated more of a challenge for him so goes down in history as the greatest believer in and yet what the med tells us is after instructs to go perform the comes home only to find his wife Sarah has died and the medis [Music] writes begins to wonder and Challenge and ask what do you want from me first you told me I didn't have children you promised me I was going to have a future Y is finally born so much excitement then you say I'm a faithful loyal servant of I'm loyal to my principles I went I brought him up to Thea then you say take him down put him back up bring something else bring him home I come home only to find s has died what do you want from me does that diminish the belief of even one [Music] iota it's the sign that you're a believer if you have questions and you're struggling with it it's because you do believe you believe that you believe he is and you believe that and if you believe that that's why you're struggling because this doesn't fit but you have permission to ask questions just like did and just like every single great thinking Jew has done since then moshu the Great greatest the Adon live with these questions you know the story about mosha goldhorn I don't know if we're allowed to tell stories mha gold corn story COV get when I tell a story I'm just not going to look this way mosha gold corn was a yid in the COV ghetto who months before PESA was gathering in the cuff of his pants any grain that he could find out there in the fields and everybody knew that on PES as a good he was planning to crush up those Matas on a PES and to bake himself a matah risking his own life and so he did ER PES he goes and he crushes up the matah and everyone can't get over what the M neish of this individual and the story is written by the r of the coven and he writes that he notices out of the window in his home that mosha gold is walking toward his house with blood coming out of his mouth AR PES and he understood that obviously it must be that mosha gold corn was caught while he was baking his Matas and they beat him up broke his teeth and now he's bleeding from his mouth and he was worried as the grub of the Covenant ghetto what am I supposed to say to such a person he's going to come and ask me how could I who do this to me what am I going to say there's nothing to say how could do this to you well he's terrified to be confronted with this question and ultimately mosha gold corn comes and knocks on the door he's an Agony he's in pain and the r answers the door and he turns to him and he says Moshe how can I help you and he says sh only have one question you know what my question is and he's waiting waiting for this question you see my family as you know were and we never eat G BR on PESA but now I don't have teeth so I want to know if this year I can drink them M and it's the questions of the Jewish people throughout history that are what have kept us alive it's the question of the Jewish people it doesn't matter what the answer is it's the questions of the Jewish people that are the reason why we're still here my father once told me once a month we say kishana we're going to say it next week and in kishana the gar tells us we're supposed to say Kish Lana standing why there are manyas that we offer in a sitting position why should we stand up and the reason why the says is because we have an understanding that when we recite is there together with us and out of respect to Thea's presence we should be standing as Thea is there more so seemingly than at other times than we offer at F so I ask you you have a chance once a month to engage on a personal basis Theon comes we have to stand he's here you know how many requests I have to challenge and to ask when I have his ear let's use this moment to ask next week when we say let's ask him to take care of all of those who are struggling all those who have financial problems all those who have emotional issues all those who have physical ailments all those who have so many challenges insurmountable challenges why not ask who find a cure for cancer why not ask aish to take care of all of those people who are struggling in so many different ways and what is it one request we ask [Music] about you know I look outside and I see that the is not whole and it really bothers me really bothers me so please this moment that I have a special intimate request of you can you please make sure that you fill in the deficiency of the Moon it sounds ridiculous I don't know how many of you have ever gone outside and actually been bothered by the fact that the Moon is not whole probably most of us never even noticed and if we have didn't bother us it's just the way the Gil works it's natural so why don't we waste this opportunity to talk about something that is so irrelevant to our lives that we actually don't really care about and my father told me that perhaps the interpretation is why is the Lana so small we go back to the first story in when created the theana the Sun and the Moon of equal proportion and equal size and equal power and the Lana is surveying all that's going on and wonder in what's the [Music] plan you can't have two Governors running a town you can't have two Mayors who are going to be in charge you can't have two kings two prime ministers it doesn't work you know very well so what's the plan we're going to have the Sun and the Moon how are we going to divide up the roles what should I be doing and the moon goes to not with a complaint but a basic question what's the plan you created the Sun and the Moon what do you want us to do and who says you know that's a really good question and the answer is going to be we're going to be we're going to make you smaller what kind of response is that what did I do wrong that was the first time in history where somebody stood up and challenged with the question of what did I do wrong why do I deserve this why am I smaller what have I done differently than the sun all I did was pose a simple question a question that any of us would have asked and it's a very legitimate question and who says you're right but we're going to make you smaller that was the first time in history that we experienced we encountered we engaged Sao that is the most profoundly impactful Jewish theological question that we've been asking for the last few th000 years and that is what we reserve Kish laana for every month we ask bring us to a time when you're going to round out the Lana and give us that answer to S give us that perspective give us that understanding of why it is that we experience life in the way that we do and why we see things from the perspective that we do and sometimes we just don't see with that Clarity and we don't have the ability to appreciate the Reon kindness and we're left with a whole lot of questions as we just read on we say about so beautifully explains that at times in our lives we have different perspectives what is the difference between a Pico and a window a window is fully transparent I look out the window and you look in and we see each other other and we can communicate what is a PE you know when our children want to show they're so independent so they want to go out to the bus by themselves but any responsible parent is going to want to give them Independence but yet you're going to stand behind the door and look out the PE and make sure that your child is going to get to the bus safely and if any danger or harm comes their way you're going to immediately intervene when the child turns around to watch whether or not they have their independence what do they see nothing I'm watching them I'm being watchful over them but they don't see me and at times says we see as we see him in a very transparent manner looking straight through a window at us we see him he sees us but at other times we have that experience of when we turn around and we just don't see there's a wall in front of us we feel like there's a wall between us and and we don't appreciate that at those moments as well who is watching but he's watching through that PE and we turn around that we don't see him but he sees all of us it's late but allow me to end with two requests one is the request that I have withon and one is a request for all of us and most importantly for the two of us who have come I'm just sharing it with you because it's what is on our hearts the first of the re is a number of years ago I saw of in the early 1800s he penned an amazingly powerful and it goes like this Reon he treat us the way we treat you what does that mean we have full confidence and belief in you we believe that you are we believe that you are good that you are the ultimate good even though we don't see you and we have no way of understanding how or why you do things so we have this belief in we have this understanding in the kindness of the even though we don't see it and we ask to do the same for us and that is how could for who have belief in us the same way we believe in you and sometimes you may look at us and you don't see everything you want to see but imagine imagine that it's there if at moments like this we can still say that we believe we ask and we have every right to ask see things that maybe you otherwise don't see look at us maybe a little bit differently have mercy on us and see the that's latent beneath all of us and secondly when mosu completes the incredible task of building a mish of bringing into the world through this Grand edifice and so much attention to detail so manyin so many paros and SA that go through every last little detail that is so important in constructing a mish properly when they're [Music] all may it be the will of that the should reside in everything we have built in all that we've done after all this work and effort I hope that will finally come and theer wonders why did MH don't have to offer this from the outset the first instruction we were given is himself promised if you follow the rules and you build this Mish the way you're supposed to I in turn will do my part and I will come reside there so why does m have to ask does he not trust that he's going to be good on his promise does he not believe that that is going to be the outcome and secondly ask for normally when we offer a we have a subject of who the is being offered to and here for some reason it's missing we just say the most important part of the sentence is missing explains we're misunderstanding this this was not turning to when asking him anything Theon promised and he knew he had to come through with his promise and bring his sha into this great mishna mosu now that everyone was finished working on the Mish turns to the Jewish people and he says May It Be Your Will after all the months of preparation and all of the investment of time and all of your focused energies and everything that you've done rallying around this cause tomorrow you're all going home back to work tomorrow everyone's going back to life will the be able to be comfortable there as well will be able to find a place in your as well when you're not rallying around this cause when you're not building a mishan when you're not coming together as a community but when you're on a on your own in your office on your phone on your WhatsApp Group whatever you're a part of on your Facebook Facebook group is is going to feel comfortable there also when you step away from this project that was MOS whose heartfelt F not to but to the Jewish people challenging them and that's what I felt today on the last day of [Music] Shivam we've rallied around I shouldn't say we you have ried around this unfortunate but absolutely incredible cause you have done everything you could as a community to give to give to continue to support not only that one family that was impacted but all of the families who are impacted which is all about misel everyone who feels a sense of loss and grief and the challenge that we have for ourselves is we're all going to step away from this tragedy everyone's going to go back to work we're all going back to our own lives you're not going to sit there and be there in that home for the next couple of weeks or months or years but can we make sure that that which we rallied around is something that has a comfortable place even when we step away from that cause even when we're not focused Focus as a community as heightened as we are now on the one cause that bound all of us together is that something that we can bring with us outside of this experience and be something that we can challenge ourselves to feel moving forward as well may be not the will of but may it be our will should see our efforts that the Reon sh should appreciate all that we have done and give us the strength and give us the courage give us the clarity of mind and purpose and vision give us the fortitude to take all that we have gained all the inspiration all that we have given all that we have offered and all that we have received into all the weeks and months ahead that we will be facing shma [Music] amen I feel like I should tell a story I'm not end with a brother to with brother and with thank you thank you to all the and the that was setting this up there are a lot of last minute details to make this happen thank you to a bunch of the youth that showed up today at 600 p.m. to come and help and you really help the land the BR I want to end with is actually um what we said on chabas from the rash remember what we said on chabas these days of and the that we've been through there's always two two words that everyone always goes through to make any type of sense of what's going on those two words we just said in pasing Kadesh I sanctify myself amongst those that are closest to me and we don't understand the whole secret of but that's how we usually interpret it they were so close and through them I become Sanctified but we used that for the Six Million and we used that for many other tragedy I thought that it was a mindblowing Kish from I learn this rash last week that he says it's not what it's referring toades rashid's grandson says is referring to be those that still stay [Music] close even when they have every reason to run so far away those that can still stand and hold on and tonight we got so much we got so much to hold on toades that's through that hashem's name becomes Sanctified in the world but I feel so inspired from everything that we've been experiencing and the words we here tonight take it one step further and this is my brother sh as was mentioned sh's about sh's ending and life even though we can't fathom it is going to go on beades if we stay close to each other be in the closeness of K in the closeness of T in the closeness of in the closeness of [Music] Andes aades and B I tried to get to stay for sh have better luck next time be we need to stay close we have to stay close closer than ever closer than ever and I feel that it's there and it should just grow vter and like that we will never have to come back together like this and as Leo told us this morning in the sh when he stopped daving his pabas and he said to the he stopped the and he said to the before kadus kados kados kados Maya Lucy Maya Reena kados kados kados hasem having them in Mind through them the light that they have filled this Earth with this week May the whole world will be filled with we should be to keep that to strengthen that and to keep have their flame Keep Us close so thank you everyone so much for coming and we should be all the all the good news that Isel is waiting for so much thank you so much [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] I [Laughter] [Music] my the [Applause] I [Music] [Laughter] am the [Music] there are [Applause] [Music] I go [Music] thank you everyone downstairs