Living With Seder When Nothing Feels B’Seder: Freedom Through Discipline

good evening everyone this is a shear on seder so we have to start punctually but thank you so much for being with me and thank you to the University to rapture for arranging organizing this greatly appreciative of the opportunity to learn Torah together with you through this format and through the privilege of any other so our topic tonight is how do fine Seder live with Seder at a time that feels entirely like nothing is be savor our lives have been turned upside down our lives have been turned ugly backwards in the best of circumstances if everyone is please get healthy in your home it's still a very awkward and difficult time to be living in which our routines that we have set and that we've come to anticipate to live by to to predict are entirely unpredictable there's no day that's the same as the one before many are working for my own balancing it with homeschooling their children many are trying or figuring out how to balance their wall ready and concerned about the future with the very real obligations and responsibilities in the present how to put it all together and live with a sense of calm and serenity to live with Seder at a time where nothing feels like it is the Seder and that is our topic for tonight and I thank you again for joining me and I want to propose that perhaps we can find physic we could find both support and strength we could find direction through Pesach through the Sager night itself what that night is really all about I'm gonna dedicate this year our learning together tonight and memorize the initial muscle hi mayor been more - hi the state of there's a very unusual gathering we come together base like night you know hood Florence we do with two nights in a row and we come together and we have a very peculiar evening a very peculiar way of celebrating freedom Pesach is all about liberty Pesach is all about freedom normally people are set free from whatever bondage responsibility obligation that they have and how do they mark it with discipline not with order not by being organized and by being highly regimented and regulated but exactly the opposite thank God Florida finally spring was canceled but on University campuses finals being over often to utter pandemonium freedom is celebrated by having no rules and no boundaries and yet here we do the exact opposite Pesach comes and we mark the experience of freedom how by sitting down around a table a table that is so perfectly set and highly organized a table which took days of nine weeks if not months maybe not this year to prepare for and get ready and what do we sit down to we sit down to an agenda that's sitting in front of each and every one of us all of our sadaham universally begin by singing the 'cimmanon the order of the evening Kaddish or cots Kapaa cots and so on could you imagine this is how you celebrate freedom by reading an agenda we're singing a song new business old business we're approving the minutes we're beginning our evening of celebration of freedom by being so regulated regimented by reading an agenda and by having to follow an exact order how is that freedom freedom us take the night off you have no rules you have no boundaries do what you want when you want how you want that should be freedom and yet we see through our experience collectively on Pesach that in fact it is exactly the opposite and I think there are incredible lessons for us to take from here to apply to the unusual circumstance in which we find ourselves right now that the more order and the more discipline and the more regimented we are the more freedom we can find and so even though we feel so confined restricted within our homes we are slaves and we are prisoners to this virus which is forcing us all to live and retreat to distance from one another to be confined in our homes as if they are jails we feel everything but free freedom is the ability to gather and shul together in the base magic rhythm is the ability to go to the jitter market freedom is the ability even to go to work those freedoms have been taken from us and with it so much of our routine so much of our calendar and our schedule so many people are so frazzled we're out of sorts we're not sure what to do with ourselves and therefore we're not living the best version of ourselves we're not ending each day feeling accomplished and feeling that we're achieving we're not ending each day feeling as if we it's fullest we need to go back to finding Seder even at a time where we have no Seder that's the journey we're gonna go on together tonight if you're watching on the YouTube livestream of weiu then you saw on the why you live website there are sources you can follow if you're watching on Facebook lied I don't know the source sheets but if you go to weiu Torah org slash live you'll find the sources there feel free to follow inside we're gonna read very little inside and for full transparency and disclosure this was the topic of my shop as they go to Russia last year but I think it's so relevant and that's why I'm so eager to share it with you together this year we'll try to move through it and a much quicker pace than we did other lands shall miss ago though so source number one if you are looking inside is the text of which we are familiar we all open our Haggadah with that song whatever version of the song that you sing universally we all begin Kaddish shortcuts undoubtedly you'd seen the cute meme that's gone around panda shortcuts Margaret's car at Orkut kapa haka everything is working on to this year you have to wash your hands between each thing not only once not only twice but we know it's Kylie's your cuts carbon jackets my dear Rafa and so on and so forth where did this come from where did we get this list where did we develop the custom to read or sing this list as the way to launch or begin our Seder why is that so important and what role does satyr have and the whole evening an experience of what freedom are really all about so very quickly the most popular order that we have that we follow for this formula condition or cuts comes from the Masters of literary in the name of the famous Rashi others bring in the name of one of the about a toast us with a new ship well the max is literary things is different from God though we have different versions of it even though universally we seem to have adopted the same one in our version of the Haggadah but there are these different versions dear Barbra Nell has his own version the Truman suggestion is his own version the mera mera Berg the less the Bali ptosis has a beautiful poem that he wrote to capture this order that we're going to recite that night the true Messiah dishin Bistro is fluent in fact signed his name he lived in the 15th century in Germany and he wrote a different list not the one that we are accustomed to say a and he usually acrostic in order to spell his name yes throw the Meyer shell also has his own list with an introduction in which he used it across the sign his name to it the question is why why are we launching this meaningful moving night wide launching this experience by singing the agenda by singing the agenda president's report rabbis report all business new business anybody had had good and welfare these days why are we starting that way so many offers many answers are suggest that the first of the say Friday since a fraction and Rashi says you know why because there's a lot to do tonight when you sit down at the Seder there are a lot of moving parts there are a lot of mitzvahs and a lot of minutiae and we want to make sure to get it right and so it's very important to keep a checklist if you have a checklist you can ensure you get it right a book several years ago I forgot by the name which prominent physician and the name of the book was checklist and there's all kinds of research statistics data particularly important in our time but hospitals which require the employees doctors nurses medical staff custodians to all use a checklist for everything minimized and eliminated so many of the careless errors and mistakes that had happened and therefore this book concludes doesn't matter how smart how sophisticated you are doesn't matter how well-trained in whatever area of proficiency you're proud to have if you employ and engage with a checklist you're going to eliminate mistakes and get more things right says Rashi that's why we lay out the night but I gotta begins with a simple truth to ensure that we get everything right there are too many things at stake there are too many things that are important on page five source seven that my showers on you know 16th century Poland gives us a different reason he says madoski rondalee contrast Larusso some Alito's getting sheer on their own kind of a simcha so ila we start with the song because it's just full and we want to begin the night in an uplifting way so it's so excited we gathered together to celebrate freedom we sing kinda short cuts we get everybody started and we very clear expectations here's what the night has in store for us here are the steps that we need to take this is the journey this is the ladder that means to climb real head from a simcha ila foolish to I shared actually a brush a tomato so Sigma showman reliable ocean water don't fall asleep don't doze off don't get distracted but it gives us a sense of what we're doing so that we can be sure to get it right that is the reason of the map reason number two I saw a beautiful reason and the very nice Haggadah of our Danish burg call from the trying to mushiya and there he talks about its striking that we begin the Seder at the minute to recite the semen on the names the 15 parts of the Seder well these particular names it's not family tomorrow it's attributed at least as far back as Russia and as we start to say to we begin retelling the story of the birth of the Jewish people we emphasize the concept of the Messiah by starting specifically with a min hug part of our tradition part of the forming of our family and our nation is that we are bound by a collective miss Soto we have a tradition we're part of a coven ental community were bound by certain behaviors and lifestyle and so even though this isn't founded in the Gemara we nevertheless launched the Seder night with something that specifically does not trace itself back does not read itself in the Gemara to show us the importance of our Messiah even the rabbinic Lee introduced ideas customs and practices decorator in the Haggadah emotion emotion you the cast who was a contemporary myth in the 20th century he gives another very interesting reason he says an kedusha believe Akana there is no holiness without preparation this is a holy night to say tonight so much work has gone into it and as much as the crystal china the silver matter as much as the delicacies they matter as much as the arts and crafts projects the kids come home with an ordinary ears matter what matters is it's a night of holiness it's a transformational night it's a night which we renew our sense of faith Emunah in a sham we see as guiding hand in our lives and if we want to achieve that transformation of the night has in store then we need to prepare there is no talk it's called Arabic douchery right star - Ava's mana it requires preparation he then quotes the McGann of ramavaram Gabino he says this is the reason that when we bench were the Zeeman we introduced it with how London never F key : e de Lucia boy has mana means an organ blush on Ashton are both Sanger valid mentioned he says we say in our vernacular Yiddish at the time we invite people to come bench with us something that is holy requires an invitation it requires preparation in fact it's our practice book where this morning in our passion class viagra because one who called out to Moshe even before he spoke my daughter came later but first he called out one has to listen to the call one has to be prepared one has to have a proper frame of mind what happens to be ready the shame is Shula says that in fact the word Kaddish as in Kadesh workers it doesn't say Kish it says Kaddish why Kadesh because Kaddish comes from has mana prepare yourselves get ready position yourself it's gonna buckle yourself in it's gonna be an incredible ride what a special night we have in store how do we do it how do we recite these opening seam on your schlong Simon or buff is quoted as saying no Ghulam or it's gonna say there's costing on ya fun the Africa flocks of a llama costume in Como I think this is a very problem custom which is to begin the night by reciting or singing or 15 steps of the sea mano and then to introduce each particular unit by announcing that Simon once again the knitting every row of guardzilla awesome quote Ashla Marco Simoncelli I said como you recite each one introduce it in its place and some say it all at the beginning and introduce the whole night in that way altogether there is deeper meaning though we saw some sort of superficial reasons we want to get it right there's a lot of moving parts we want to tap into missile red tonight of tradition and we begin by launching with a tradition but I think there's some deeper deeper readings that I want to share with you and again that will inform us about how we can organize ourselves we can live with Seder that we can achieve freedom even within these very restricted constrictive lives the corona virus has forced us to live within the confines of our own homes at this time the eye chakra Masha who lived in the 16th century Turkey and then he moved to Israel he says that the 15 sigmund contain the Deaf this is the pathway or the formula to genuine abode the session first you have to be Mikado's yourself and then you need to cleanse yourself workouts and then he says this is a formula of 15 steps of how to perfect yourself how to live your best self yet all contained within these 15 steps look it up Luke I know say Dada Azul I lived in the 18th century he says the same run and follow the order of the SS and Idris the Decalogue the Ten Commandments embedded within his order and the way we begin our night is by reminding ourselves of how we are bound by the 10 commandments which are 10 categories under which the entire Torah is to let them suffer as a different reason the Emory Noah has a different reason the Similan says they may not follow the 15 kindnesses when I shed did the Jewish people in our experience of leaving with Ryan in the redemptive process when I shouldn't liberated us there were 15 steps of those kindness and those 15 steps on that journey towards freedom are reflected they are we lived in the formula of the 15 steps of the of the seen one in itself the Assad regime Oda a very esoteric a ballistic worker begues and resistant of her dogma and died in the year 1794 the service Russia or the quotes the great kabbalist theories now who says that they're different these 15 steps represent the kavana the concentration that you're having four different names of God but he concludes by suggesting and I echo that we now try it at home unless you are a catalyst and unless you are positioned to do so rose betterment of men like Bitterman has a beautiful shot it's on page 13 through 17 we're moving quickly alone and revealing it says the following listen to this beautiful beautiful idea it says that the Gemara tells us that Hamas they evade the hydroxyl about of a PC mannan if suddenly loses an object we have a responsibility we have an obligation to return and restore the object to the rightful owner and how do we identify how do we confirm that the one who steps forward to claim it's their object how do we ensure that in fact it belongs to them so the Gemara tells us our rabbis teachers the halacha tells us that they have to identify seamen distinguished character traits they have to tell us something special to see running about the object and that enables us to confirm they are the right owner says of millimeter man in his I gotta listen money has Seder these signs the symbols that we begin with the list of 50 things Kaddish were cut these are the semen help us find our way back we have lost so much in the year since last seder on Pesach we gather we're a family with friends when a journey towards freedom we tell our family narrative we stand to get ready to stand that scene I together we live with his faith that I shared justice in redeemed us in the past he will redeem us in the present and the future and yet over the course of this past year so much has happened we've lost so much about passion that energy so much of that excitement enthusiasm and so how do get back that which is lost 'cimmanon identifying marks that's what brings at night back the issue whatsoever the Maisie law says that's the idea of little shimmer and the Torah calls Pesach night a lil of Shimoda man watching and says the issue but remember it means that the memories the experiences the feelings that we had that were fleeting that were temporary of temporal that we let go Hashem has collected he holds on to pace after night we get them back we revisit them we tap into something within ourselves we awaken we turn on a light we turn on a a happiness and a joy and a faith and a hopeless than ourselves that perhaps was lost but we're able to recover on Pesach night so these are some of the deeper reasons which are offered for what the Seder is really all about but now I want to come to the crux of what I want to speak to you about it's the final suggestion of what the Seder is really all about and the reason that we celebrate our freedom not by saying it's a night off from Judaism a night off from rules and night off from regulations freedom go party do what you want we do the opposite we have incredibly incredible rules you have to eat this this measure this time while leaning this way you have to have cleaned this cache of that you have to follow this order and you have to finish by this time instead of our marking freedom by letting go moving on dropping responsibility we do the opposite our definition of freedom is highly regulated highly regimented highly organized living a night of unparalleled order a night of unparalleled discipline how we what we when we eat were measure we what we say to whom we say how we are posture why we say and so on and that's not a coincidence does the theme I want to develop with you now and for the rest of our time together this evening that the truth is you can only achieve freedom through discipline freedom is not through disorder freedom is not through letting go freedom is not when your boundary lists and borderless you achieve freedom through discipline you achieve freedom through living a life of order tose most references this source 19 Musa Seder he says you take away the tables time to say the Haggadah it's time to make seder the night is called lyoha seder we see that in our earliest sources the night is about Seder the melted are actually the Meldrick tells us in what merit were we redeemed in what did we leave Egypt mikka Makka Moo up to the Seder of Alabama Houma because we left with Seder not with moom you know what moment is moment is when you're running away to get to hell if I we should all be able to get to Airport and travel safely and securely you're running late this one didn't pack and this one didn't get dressed and this one didn't pack their sandwich and this one's not ready and this one forgot to call the uber and you're scrambling and running and trying to get there on time that's mahoma when you're scattered and undisciplined and therefore your entire Noma Newcastle nefesh you have no peace of mind you have no serenity your entire life is filled with anxiety and worry and concern you sabotage your own success because it's within the home we didn't leave with whom we left with Seder I chef organized and he took us out it was quickly it was efficiently it was bookkeeper zone it was quickly but it's with order and it's in the merit of that order and we live that order therefore on Seder night that is what the night is all about the fast time is right soon as I got reviewed the Ireland laid out door of gear in the 19th century he says la Haine La Paz actually shot coolest cheese rubber hose news from the cabinets are richest the hala Bria Cazares was Sidra de Coonan Ikra sader says it's famous God created the whole world with order so we emulate him with order the six days of creation were not haphazard they weren't scattered they weren't random Hashem had a big order with which he did things we recreate we emulate a sense of order if we want to create and if we want to achieve and we want to live our best selves if we want to be godly if we want to be disciplined it's the only way to achieve a sense of freedom C Mon an austere Torah we have the notion of semen on Elsa on Rosh Hashanah the idea of semen on they had value where salivation also echoes the same idea in his book festival of freedom a collection of ursula matrix thoughts and insights on Pesach he points out that the Rambam my malady is a very unusual way both in the laws of Pesach and the laws of Yom Kippur uses this term the Rama rights either Arceus mitzvahs a libel Iran Kamisha Sarkar who the order to perform these mitzvahs on Pesach is as follows and then again later when it comes to the laws of him kipper he writes save her call her masam she um Zeca who here's the order and in both places is the rub Pesach and yom kippur are introduced with cedar I see a seder calm Assam here's the order here's the organization here's what you need to do why the ramen put that in one day just tell us please why does the end that word says of my salvation the things must remain in the proper place in the overall structure of the Mitzvah it has to be a sailor in order to achieve the holiness and what Yom Kippur is in order to achieve the freedom and transformation of what peace life is these two days may be even more than any other has to be defined by a healthy sense of order by a sense of seder of discipline of rules of regiment living with a life of order how do we achieve that order is freedom order its freedom and we all know that the more disciplined we are the more freedom we achieve the more reckless the more carefree the more that we shook off responsibilities and the more less punctual we are and the less we're supervising our finances we don't achieve freedom in that way it's the exact opposite we destroy ourselves and we undermine we saw sabotage it's very interesting the holiday is not called by the name of the Torah cause of Kaka Matsuzaka Aviv but rather we refer to it again almost universally certainly in our dominating but even colloquially reader to call it as we call it as man okay we say no in odd Avenue we acknowledge receipt on one of our social I cannot be a farmer Dylan Simcoe and so on is Yamaha comment so says this mana can be seen no it's a time of what freedom in the Haggadah we hope and we pray ha ha ha ha right now we're here I'm shocked table they were slaves but a shahe bar we long to be beneath : we long to be free we recall in the gondola FIFA because of this journey you took us on God high other hold us we are obligated to thank you why ho Gianna you took us may aft us locking us from servitude and bondage to a life of favors to a life of freedom the mission that God gave us tells us there lo a lot for having a hug more you can't finish all the work you can't finish everything but Lois I've been whoring lobotomy Menna but you're not free in order to be able to walk away either this who is saying this - can't receive the benefit and may have those behaviors Ben : how do we define this freedom the night is all about freedom the holiday is all about freedom we call at a time of our freedom that's what it's all about how do you define freedom what is what in fact is freedom so the Mubarak Chavez tells us by Mason call she came in she makes other NASA Huff's again I told you man I'm Mitzvahs you really want to be free is only when a person leaves this world when a person's soul is extracted from their body when we die we're no longer obligated or bound by total Mitzvahs that's a certain sense of a freedom so what is chaos and why is it in the present tense that we're now going in it's monitoring a signal right now we're freeing ourselves and the answer is to many of us most of us are slaves to our livelihood to our material possessions to our obligations to fashion to culture to pop culture we are evolving to avoid them the world tells us we have to keep up with our neighbor the world tells us how we have to fit in what we have to listen to what we have to watch what we have to wear when we're able to where we have to go what we have to own how we have to appear we are slaves we are enslaved we are bound and in bondage to this world we are slaves to slave mu de la vie has a poem a great poem you that lady the author of the kuzuri he writes after his man after a vadim him servant sometime are servants of servants the servants of God alone is free whenever human and seeks to share my share as God says my soul comes across a lot better than the original in the Hebrew but what review de la vie is describing is that if you're not punctual you don't control your own time if you're always frazzled and you always running out of time you always running late and you're not punctual you're not organized you're not free you're enslaved to your procrastination to your lazy in the Havana Elba a person is only free when a person accepts and upon themselves a sense of Torah and here's how I want to express this to you there was a there was a philosopher and political theorist named Erich Fromm and source 32 if you're looking inside the source shoot on page 18 he wrote a book called escape from freedom a very interesting individual and he lived 1910 and in this book escaped from freedom it sounds paradoxical why would you have to escape from freedom isn't freedom exactly what we want why are you running away from it where are you going and he says an escape from freedom he distinguishes between what he calls freedom from and freedom to freedom from is the negative form if a person is in slaves a person is a prisoner the person is in Siberia a person is god forbid being held hostage a person is physically in bondage physically enslaved they are seeking freedom from something that's one form of a freedom it's the negative form of a freedom it's freedom from but it describes that there's a second type of a freedom and this is the freedom of what pace lacks all the nights the freedom of what Torah and what Judaism is all about it's not freedom from it's what he calls a freedom - we're not trying to get away from bondage the story it tastes like as much as getting out from under the Egyptians but rather it's the story of the lifestyle that we want to lead it's about where are we going - it's about how to realize our best selves who are you meant to be what is your mission what is the difference you're meant to make to this world who is our people what is our role of the world better because there's a Jewish people it's not about the freedom from it's true the Egyptians enslaved us they held us captive we were prisoners to them but we were set free that's freedom from but now with that freedom what do we do with it where are we going what would we achieve what is the freedom to that's what the night is really all about the freedom from is ridding myself of duties and obligations and it produces he says a monotonous existence of boredom and aimlessness and sometimes even depression it can lead to a life of addiction to fill that vacuum of licentiousness or criminal acts of depravity that's freedom from because if you were defined by having been enslaved if you were a prisoner and now you're set free how do you fill that vacuum how do you fill that void how do you now identify how do you now define who you are we can't be limited by the definition of freedom from but rather what Pesach is all about is defining our journey not a freedom from but our journey of freedom - to where we want to go and who we want to be what our life should really be all about it's very interesting historically references of a chick that south he suggested that when we sing Hatikva the national anthem of Israel of the Jewish people in modern times the rather than sings Leo Tom Hoshi Leo Tom Huff she means to be a people who are free that's a freedom from Israel is not just about running away from it's not just about anti-semites it's not about our enemies and adversaries it's not just about those who sought to exterminate us and therefore we're celebrating me in the Land of Israel in Mountain State of Israel it is Leo time Hoshi won't be free from persecution he suggested replacing it and singing it leo - I'm kodesh - Artie no not a freedom from he didn't formulate it based on this philosopher but not a freedom from Leo Tom Hoshi but Leo - and Kadosh 13o a freedom - where are we going and who do we want to be and what shapes the lives that we want to live you know for too many people discipline is a bad word as a dirty word it makes us think discipline of what we have to sacrifice of what we have to give up and makes us think about restriction or boredom or rigidity discipline lacks any you can't be extemporaneous and you can't simply go and have fun and you can't simply but rather it takes all the fun out of life but too many people discipline is a bad word but the truth is that self discipline is in itself the form of freedom it's freedom from laziness and lethargy freedom from the expectation and demands freedom from having to keep up and meet the expectations of others it's freedom from weakness and fear and freedom from doubt when you live a life of discipline I want to share with you on page 19 I've become a big fan of both his writings and his podcast Jaco willing Jacque are willing some of you have heard me quote him before in the previous shadows ago the drush it was based on a book that he's written called extreme ownership what we call rious there's an incredible amount of total we didn't need Jaco willing to teach the Jewish people since Adam and Chava failed to take ownership for their mistake and Kylian didn't take ownership for his killing Hevel and all the way until today our failure to own our mistakes and our shortcomings our failure to own our destiny and our role in shaping it his book is so powerful called extreme ownership but this a different book that he wrote afterwards called discipline equals freedom Field Manual who's Jaco willing he was a Navy SEAL for 20 years he rose to the ranks to become a commander of task unit bruiser the most decorated special operations unit of the Iraq war and he took his experiences in his lessons from being a Navy SEAL to talk about not only how to succeed at war and in battles but have to succeed in life and I highly recommend his book or even just a summary in an article of it I have for you in the source and you can look there listen to what he says while discipline and freedom seem like they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum they're actually very connected freedom is what everyone wants to be able to act and live with freedom but the only way to get to a place of freedom is through discipline if you want financial freedom you have to have financial discipline if you want more free time you have to follow a more disciplined time management system you also have to have the discipline to say no no the things that eat up your time and no pay back like random youtube videos clip it on the internet even events that you agree to attend when you know you don't want to be there discipline equals freedom applies to every aspect of life if you want more freedom get more discipline freedom in your house be more disciplined than your lifestyle freedom with your time own your time and take care of it manages better freedom with your finances be more responsible take greater I fries with your finances discipline equals freedom not the opposite discipline doesn't equal slavery and big undisciplined is not freedom you can only fully realize freedom when we live a life in which we are disciplined your rights that's the real message if you want to transform your life in a positive way that transformation will not happen by itself you need to make it happen you need to do the work you need to put in the hours the days the weeks the runs the years you need to get on a path and stay on the path the path that leads to the positive transformations the path that leads to a better you the path that leads to freedom and that path is the hard path it is the tough path it is the relentless path it is the path of discipline and the path of discipline is the only way discipline equals freedom this is what pesach is really all about why are we launching the night of freedom with seder because we need to understand that freedom comes responsibility freedom comes opportunity and blessing but we'll only be realized when we live lives that are disciplined and regulated when we are in control then we have dignity then we have sovereignty then in fact we are godly when we're undisciplined we're always running late and our home is a pigsty and we never have fulfill our goals and we never show up on time but we never follow through on our word and our life is in disarray and undisciplined and disorganized we in fact don't have any freedom we don't have freedom to think we don't have freedom of the mind who don't freedom of the heart we have no peace of mind freedom is discipline when we're disciplined we find that that freedom that we crave Jim Collins the author of good to great write greatness is not a function of circumstance greatness it turns out is largely a matter of conscious choice and disciplined and my friends as we're going through these extraordinary times right now in which our entire schedule has been turned on 10a lifes are entirely upside-down we're totally outside of our normal routine we're confined to our homes our whole family these are and their devices doing scored this is trying to do work to bring in an income to pay the bills we're trying to manage it with a sense of emotional spiritual balance and spend probably time with one another how do we do it we'll never find freedom within the confines of our home if we're undisciplined greatness is not a function of circumstance if you can only achieve greatness when everything is in its right place if we can only be great when everything is great when everyone's cooperating and the world is cooperating and our health is cooperating and the viruses are cooperating if the only way we can achieve greatness is when the circumstance is great then we're not really great greatness is a matter of conscious choice and discipline it's going to sleep every night with a schedule of how you're going to make the most of the next day given the circumstances taking extreme ownership okay I can't control these variables I can't control what has to happen I can't control the limitations I can't control what's going on necessarily but now with those variables with those circumstances with that reality I now have how do I take extreme ownership to manage it to plan for it and to remain disciplined in my execution of it with my children with my own schedule with my routine my domini my learning my exes my health my lifestyle my communication my quality time with my spouse because our attitude and our ability to do that says everything about who we are says everything about who we will be if we can do it in these circumstances imagine what can accomplish the freedom of discipline that we will have when things please God quickly turn around this is in fact what makes us uniquely human it makes us different than animals you know if you're looking inside executive function what we call executive function executive function are the last to develop in a maturing brain and while the infiltrate across different domains of functioning they're sourced in the prefrontal lobes which separate man from Beast essentially an animal has an impulse an animal has an instinct an animal does what it wants when it wants where it wants with whom at once an animal has no discipline it has an animal voice an animal instinct an animal desire and that's why we describe somebody who's who's a mess is a pigsty some are stuffing their face is eating like a pig is acting like an animal because an animal is the epitome of the undisciplined well this is true anatomically the prefrontal lobes which separate man from animal where we have executive function being disciplined is what differentiates you it's what makes you a human being so do we want to be an animal or do we want to be its elemental kin do we want to be a human being so we want to give in to the lowest version of ourselves or do we want to live the highest version of ourselves living with Seder with order organization regulated that helps us achieve but it's so much more than that and this is the last part of the message I want to share with you tonight and that is living with order is not just chukka will Inc it's not how Navy SEALs get through it's not just from a position of a motivational speaker we can live our best selves and live our best lives and find the greatest happiness and serenity and accomplish the most my friends you need to know that living with order and organization living with Seder not just on say tonight but throughout the year has a religious value has a religious meaning is an expression of religion in itself and let me show you how source 37 page every following inside the mattress Rama Omar Bahama mission in Oregon last a Buddha Siddhartha Dharam Oberoi shenana it's a marvelous adaran a person needs to be organized in your learning if you don't have a schedule a Coulomb if you don't have a timeline get on a system of review if you're not organized in your learning you will never achieve what you could you'll never become the person you were meant to be says the mentorship the Gemara coolin I'm Elaine Manresa droop above all we describe the very name the appellation of the person who is the head of the Jewish community in Babylonia how are they defined in Talmudic times their name that title was the race Sidra the person was the most organized the person who has the greatest Seder the race syndra the person was the greatest proficiency in being organized in being punctual in valuing their time and their order possessing schmoes a Lisa social from the iraq the Asarco bring in the shook on the table in the tabernacle the michigan the iraq testico and night out its value the targa monk was translated this ass beside a surah the task there yes Sidra you know when we have value when we have Seder if you're organized with your time you value your time you take care of your possessions and you're careful with the new valued possessions if you take care of yourself your health your wellness your exercise your lifestyle then you value your body and if you value your words you're careful and organized with how you use them revive from pound the greatest receiver used to stress that a person needs to be thoughtful with how they speak don't waste words there was a time when your shooters people would say what should I call it they would stumble on their words they don't really think through what they were gonna say before they said it and they'd say what Sheila : and if problem absolutely hated he rejected he wanted to remove whatchamacallit from your vocabulary that lacks a derp be thoughtful be organized communicate articulately no one you're gonna say before you say it because that's how you show you value your words you value your words you're organized with your words you value your time girls win time give valued possessions you're organized in how you treat your possessions that you value your body you're organized with our attitude of our body it's a very language that we use we ask someone are you the Seder is the Seder in your life is everything the Seder means is everything organized is everything disciplined is everything in its place do you have peace of mind the dashed horror of the oklahoma buffets and his dad's torah writes about his Rebbe the outer of kalman the outer of kal excelled in this in this arena of living with order of being organized and disciplined of being punctual of being on top of our lives and thereby achieving freedom he lived it to the extreme he writes in das Torah that the author of CAM said if a Talmud and the achieve of a student would sit back this is one of my pet peeves asked my children when you get up from a table and you get out from a desk when you get up and you pull a chair out put the chair back for the altar of kallen if you don't put the chair back he writes it's like violating Shabbos it's a little Shabbos hello Shabbos you get up from a chair you put it back organized in order in the slot where it was it's a magical thing to do it's how we live our lives if we're sloppy in our conduct in our behavior then we're sloppy and who we are sloppy in our souls and sloppy in our in our kishkes for the outdoor of calmy writes the author if Calvin was his clothing lasted forever because he was so careful and organized and disciplined and how he treated it when he put on his hat wasn't tilted this way or this way he lived with a sense of order and dignity and discipline and his appearance with his possessions with his things with his the reputation that he gave through his appearance the outer was careful with his time he records the Duster of muhammad's that the author of kallen if he was supposed to learn until 5:00 p.m. and at 5:00 p.m. he was in between the words amar and rava he would stop at amar and not finish rava he was so disciplined to this time he did what he did when he was meant to do it according to the commitment he made not only to others because we only respect others if we respect their time and follow through on our word to them and were punctual if we say you're gonna meet them be there when you said you're gonna meet them you're gonna return the recalled the time call at that time but we also violate our own sense of integrity we violate who we are if we run unregulated if we're not respectful of our own time why was the author of Kelm so obsessed the order was he neurotic that he had a CD was it diagnosed where did it come from so they were from love of its rights but for the author of calm' said gave the example of a pearl necklace what is the most valuable part of a pearl necklace of course it's the string that runs through the pearls is negligible the string that runs through the pearls is almost worthless it has practically no value at all and yet the string is the most important part of the necklace because of that string snaps you have no pearls they break they run on the floor they go everywhere says the optin of CAM Seder or gonna order discipline being organized being punctual we don't worship it as an ends it's a means to achieve the things that are really important that really matter our relationship our learning our doffing our lesson the people we care about our experiences ourselves all of that is what matters being hyper organized and punctual is not something that we worship as an ends it is the means to achieve the best of who were meant to be in all these other areas of our life it's the sring that holds the pearls of our life together so they don't snap and go everywhere the story is told on the altar of count who came to visit his son in the velocity they want to see how his son was doing but he didn't go out of the basic measures to check in on his son he went straight to the dormitory and when he saw that his son's shoes were lined up and the clothing was folded in the bed was made he didn't even bother going to the base member she went home because he knew that if his dormitory room was clean if his dormitory room was organized that he was organized in his learning and his life it was all that he needed to see that's the rights this is the theme behind the flags the Jewish people encamped in the wilderness in the desert under logos and emblems in an exact order because that order mattered not only the true individually but it's true collectively we as a people we as a nation can achieve our most when when we're organized by logo by flag by encampment when we are able to identify where we are at llevaba I'll assured us a long essay how to live a life of Seder of manners in achieving our best sense of self because if we're organized in our with our things and we're organized with our time we'll be organized in our thinking and organized in our feeling we'll achieve our best lives our best sense of cells yet the morale model of Prague says that Torah is the Seder of the world the world needs order it needs a blueprint it needs a formula it needs a manual the Torah is our access to the order of the whole of the whole world the command SOTA endowment test tells us something am i comic I am the whole world and what merit does the world exist what sustains it holds up the world and the Gemara answers a kedusha de syndrome which we know means the kedusha at the end of dominant kadosh kadosh kadosh but says the Gemara you know what one merit the world stands kedusha decision the holiness of being organized the holiness of being disciplined with discipline and order come freedom if a lack of discipline you don't have freedom your life is a mess and your relationships are a mess your finances are a mess your time is a mess and your health is a mess you know we have slowness Rutzen there are eight creepy-crawly eight insects or bugs which convey toma they contaminate and convey impurity with mailer Biederman says you know the shallowness Rutzen you know why shruts and the sheriff's conveys 2-month their word schwartzen-muth s'n sheriffs sharat it's running if you're running running running scrambling scrambling scrambling always running late always catching up we're always trying to figure it out always trying to save the day because you simply were unorganized you are undisciplined you weren't punctual you weren't thought-out and it conveys to me that is exactly what contaminates our lives with a sense of impurity by shelter said we read in Sh'ma val val de marrón de alerta Tova which simply is translated to mean will be destroyed quickly from this world but the bow Shantou said perhaps read it differently valve at a time you know it is your life you know what undermines your peace of mind and your serenity Vatutin you know what makes you forced to be lost mahira when you're always running when you're always rushing when you're always behind when you're always trying to catch up my dear friends particularly in this times in which our world have been turned upside down and which our routines have been broken in which we have know in which we have no benefit or luxury of the way it always was now more than ever we need that sense of seder the freedom that comes through discipline if you want to not kill someone in your home during the time of quarantine in social distancing if you to survive and and not only get through the day but be proud of the day you had then you need to go into the day with a sense of seder what's our schedule who goes where how are we organizing and bring how do we build an activity how do we build in margin and space how do we build in personal space what is the extreme ownership to live the discipline that will give us the freedom even within this very restricting circumstance then it take every one of Gavrilo Center quotes source 48 there's a minute mitzvah boy gets a watch and his Bar Mitzvah he quotes where does this come from chicane minik Morocco it comes from Morocco and he says Veronica the homeless lucky me after usual ish Marla's man Kuya car now that your apartment so you know what it means to be a goggle a child an immature child squanders and waste time an immature child are disciplined in their eating and their speaking in their time and in their room and with their things to be an adult to be a governess to be disciplined and so we we express this by getting the gift of a bar mitzvah boy a bat mitzvah girl we buy them a watch so they know they know that time is the most valuable commodity that we have it's meant to be watched over it's meant to be cared for it's meant to be lived for its fullest didn't write Emma's had a different tradition the in Manama said we got a custom when somebody gets married we buy them a watch a gold watch why a gold watch them right ms de Araneta because to tell them the time is golden time is gold it's the most precious commodity we have it's on a beautiful silver coin a high yaja we get the hustle the watch why to tell the Husson you're at work you're still at yeshiva learning you're at the Kolo when your watch strikes the time you told your wife you're gonna be home be home because from that moment that you told you're gonna be home she's waiting for you and the same is true for a woman towards a man when we make a commitment or a promise when we say we'll be home at that time we'll call at that time we'll check in at that time and we don't we've injured the other party our lack of discipline our lack of order or control in managing our time hurts people so we buy a house on a watch to say you now have a responsibility not on your own time but in your time towards others be disciplined with it the story is told of the outer of calsilicas is all that he once had a collusive can wait and when the hallucis sat down he saw the carissa wasn't wearing a watch and he was astonished he said to the covers how could it be a human being lives and operates in this world without a watch how could you live without a watch you need to know and be conscious and mindful of time at all times because every moment is irreplaceable it's the most precious commodity that we have that's why time is freedom our attitude towards time is what freedom is really entirely all about toward tell us the very first mitzvot that were given we come out of Egypt we're a free people we've broken free from the prison prison of Egypt and what's the first Mitzvah we have the shazamicon rosh chodesh in manage the counter sanctify the new moon and manage time says the smarter you know why because the defining characteristic of a slave is they don't control their own time if you binge watch mindless nourish guy deep into the night which therefore depletes you of the sleep so that you're not healthy which therefore it does not leave you at the top of your game for your family and for the work who's paying you if you're undisciplined you're not free if you're owned by Netflix culture pop culture if you're owned by going into debt to keep up to buy things you can't afford if you're undisciplined with your time with your money that in fact you're enslaved you're not free at all so said the smart or the very first myths of the Jewish people were given when we came into the wilderness was control the counter sanctify the new moon why because freedom is in time management when you control your your time when your discipline your time that is freedom the Midrash war rights are a novice a Nevada can invade us as man there is nothing lost there's nothing as squandered as losing or wasting time that we have there are 86,000 for seconds and everyday imagine you woke up every morning and someone put in your bank account eighty six thousand four hundred dollars it's a nice image imagine that for a moment but here's the caveat they told you you have to spend it by the end of the day eighty six thousand four hundred dollars it's gone at the end of the day so spend it use it or lose it we'd all rush to spend the 86,400 well and yet there's 86,400 seconds at the beginning of every day and we either use it or we lose it and yet too many of us we choose on purpose to forfeit to concede we squander it instead of using it to its fullest in order to get the most out of life and to give the most to life and waste it and we squandered and we hurt ourselves you know it's a tragedy time is the most precious commodity we have doesn't matter how rich or how poor how y'all gonna have old how healthy or how unfit we all have the same 24 hours in the debut all the same 168 hours in a week we all have the same 86,400 seconds of the day there's nothing you can do to have more of it there's no way to increase it there's no way to extend expand it we all have the same amount of time and therefore if you work harder in theory you could get more money and maybe if you take better care of yourself you could live longer but there's nothing you can do to add more time to any day it's the most precious commodity we have if we waste it you can't recover it you can't get it back so it's a tragedy why should it be that if you look online at the Urban Dictionary a website that's dedicated to modern phrases it defines Jewish trying as follows not perfectly on time possibly somewhat late but no harm is done as a result the implication is there's no need to be exactly on time and that starting a little late is acceptable the time comes from Jewish culture which is often relaxed about punctuality that is the secular world's understanding about our attitude towards time we invented I hope that I still have the very first mix of all the metals we have emphasizes for us that discipline is freedom when it comes to time the responsibility to manage our time the awesome invaluable commodity of time and yet the secular world's understanding the urban dictionary is definite Jewish time is that genes are relaxed about punctuality the class will start Jewish time the sink restarting Jewish time I'll meet you there Jewish time it's a horrific indictment of us it's a terrible statement about us we more than anyone should be modeling for the world that freedom comes through discipline that we value our time we want to make the most of it it doesn't mean you have to be a type-a personality every moment of your day build into your time rest and relaxation entertainment but do it with a sense of mindfulness do it with intentionality do it because it's how you're choosing to spend your time not because you're lazy or procrastinating or wasting it 210 years of slaves in Egypt we had no control over our time and the very symbol of our freedom is this mitzvah that we can control our time time awareness is at the core of humanity it is the very responsibility of freedom and so being relaxed about punctuality or running away having a casual attitude toward start times it's not Jewish time it's exactly the opposite it's the antithesis of the Jewish notion of time wasting time bit dolls man is tantamount to burning money and killing time is an act of murder there was an article in Forbes a couple years ago called five minutes early is on time on time is late late is unacceptable and the author shows how disrespectful and inefficient and self-centered it is to always run late is disrespectful to other people it's inconsiderate of those who are there waiting for you it takes it's a waste of time for the things that you could be doing it's unprofitable it's disorganized your calendar you can't achieve what you're meant to achieve everyone likes to equate business with importance but having a perpetually hectic schedule signals that you can't prioritize and that you're undisciplined that you're flaky that you're an egomaniac and you think your time is more valuable than other people paying attention to punctuality is not about being judged you're stressed it's the opposite it makes room for the caring considerate thoughtful people I want my life friends or colleagues he writes and so therefore five minutes early is on time on time is late late is unacceptable that should be the Jewish definition of time because living with Seder is freedom living with discipline and order is how define our very selves it's how we achieved the freedom that we want it's why that we're not it's why we're getting rid of the comments in our lives why are we so obsessed and this year it's unusual we're trying to figure out perhaps certain leniency to rely on but why are we on the Search and Destroy mission why is hum its arch enemy number one that we're trying to get rid of this adversary you want a breakfast that's design tells the Italian tells us that really rebo no alum and God would be a dealer for net for sure it's something a masters would say now Almighty God we want to do your will we want to do everything you want me my a kid what gets in the way so or should the ISA the yeast in the dough the Yates are heartless inflated sense of self hum it's you know the only difference in the world between matzah and comets same ingredients flour and water there's only one difference time when you let the flour and water sit when you're lazy and procrastinate when they get inflated that is comments and therefore red is our enemy we get rid of it we instead define ourselves with a sense and attitude of matzah we act with alacrity and zeal with enthusiasm with discipline and through that we achieve a certain sense of time it's how we find time in our life it's what our lives are really all about it's what we're meant to be you want freedom in your life even while we're restricted to our homes and even while this virus ticks away so much of our Liberty we never still find freedom if we are disciplined if we have plans if we control our attitude towards our things towards ourselves towards our words towards our emotions towards our time we are thermostats not thermometers a thermometer tells you your temperature I'm angry I'm frustrated I'm fearful a thermostat lets us control it when you live with order when you live with Seder you're a thermostat not a thermometer everyone of us can be we don't have to look at the conditions that were in and simply be the result of them but never forfeit the choice that we make and the control we have over ourselves to take extreme ownership to live with order and discipline and through that to live with a sense of freedom so the way we achieve freedom is living with greater stater we clean we get rid of that humus in our lives the progress nation and we begin the Seder by singing this agenda by proclaiming that we understand that the responsibilities of freedom and the opportunity and invitation of freedom is to live with Seder and 'cimmanon is to have an agenda and to follow through on it and to get to the end of it my dearest friends let's leave miss Ryan together let's leave those borders and boundaries that are holding us back like our poor time management and our poor planning and our poor execution and our poor discipline let's achieve the freedom that like we've never felt before to adopt a level of discipline that we've never had before to realize our best selves in the way we take care of ourselves in the relationships we have with others in our goals and ideals and what we want to achieve and who we can be if we live with sader will find that freedom to live our best selves yet thank you so much for joining wishing everyone in fact I share this I ma'am