Living with Emunah (Part 343)

Good morning. Good morning. Good vah, good summer, a good hope everyone had a beautiful wonderful pesak. Thank you for adjusting the schedule this week. I'm unable to do the sheer Wednesday. So appreciate you're joining us on a Monday. It's a great way to start the week anyway and we can some guests who are still here for one more morning. So thank you for being here. Our series is generally sponsored by Dr. Zavia Bella Morgan in memory of her by Dr. Brian Galbet in memory of her mother Dr. and Chanzer and we're very very grateful remain always grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. So on I uh my kids two of my kids had issues with their phones and had been begging me to take them into T-Mobile to get it resolved. That is the opposite of Yantiff to have to go spend time in T-Mobile is the exact opposite of enjoying your or your Yantiff. It's in fact defined by many as cruel unusual punishment. But nevertheless, I decided and was determined maybe for the Rafi Koma I would do it. So I had just come back from a activity in which I was wearing a polo shirt. Polo shirts said at Bocarone Synagogue, but it was a polo shirt, not the way I normally dress because it was a colomo activity that demanded that different dress and I decided I would take them and we looked up a T-Mobile store and we're going and we were going to T-Mobile store and lo and behold, I didn't realize the T-Mo mobile store that ways was taking us to was in the mall. So I got very frustrated and I said I would never dress like this to walk around the mall. You know I'm a rabbi all that other stuff. Like I don't dress like this not onoid. It's quasiant. This is not how I dress. If I knew the store was in the mall I want to run out with you looking this way. And I was a little bit frustrated that we didn't do more planning or care to figure out which store where or preparing to be dressed appropriately or properly for it. Anyway, we go to the T-Mobile store. We spend an amount of time waiting there and which was fine. was all I brought my laptop with me to work to write a drussia while there. So, I'm making best use of time. Anyway, after a long time there, they said, "You're better off going to the Apple store." So, then we went to wait in the we went to wait in the Apple store. And we're waiting in the Apple store and the person who checks you in when you come into the Apple store takes one look at me looks down at my shirt and he says, "Wait, do you work at Bocarone Synagogue?" I said, "Yes." He said, "I'm in charge of their corporate account here. Let me get you the right people and get you to the front of the line." So, I said, "Oh, you see? Hashem had me. Embrace your place. Not only embrace your place, embrace your shirt. So, we have a new a new logo, a new uh a new motto. Embrace your place and embrace your shirt. You are where you're meant to be. And if Hashem decided that you were supposed to be at the store at the mall, first of all, that saved us because T-Mobile sent us to Apple, we would have had to make our way. And it saved us that I was wearing the thing I was unhappy that I was wearing because that's what identified me. And it didn't give us any discount or anything else, but it did help us expedite if you call three hours expediting, but it did get us it did get us to expedite our time. Anyway, that is my own personal amuna story from I'm sure and I hope you have yours. We'll read a couple emails and dive back into the text by Goldberg. Hope you and your family community had an incredible pes I remember spending the end of last days of pes recall it being wonderful blah blah blah blah. small but impactful Amuna moment for me just happened moments ago. I typically listen to each week's Amuna episode of Lun with Amuna during my long runs on Friday mornings and the speed at which you talk absolutely energizes me and often creates some of my best runs. It's good to know. Does that count like I ran? Probably not. I ran the Jerusalem half marathon two months ago two weeks ago and said a personal best which I credit mostly to your Shirum. Wow. Okay. Anyhow, since there was no new episode last week during Pesak on my run this morning, I wasn't sure what I should listen to. I decided it would be fun to try to start something from the first episode on Spotify since I only started listening to the Shir the last two years. So, I went all the way back because there was no new episode. Independent of that decision, Friday early morning, I wanted to listen to Shir and found a nice little 8minute podcast from Rabbi Ariel Shan on Shalom, which I loved. Fast forward to that night. I was sitting in sh between decided I wanted to learn something more about. So I looked next to me on the bookshelf on the random shul I was at in har and lo and behold there's an shalom the book of the on the shelf. I flipped to the essays on the seventh day of pes and the first one I read is the same idea heard early that morning which I also coincidentally heard similar ideas to recently on your shirum how there are different levels of muna in the mind heart and limbs. I saw a lot of ideas and sources all lining up and pointing to the same thing. So I decided by the end of the I'd really love to learn more shalom since it kept showing up. Fast forward to my run just an hour ago. I chose to listen to the first episode of your ever. And what source are you learning? Niva shalom. I couldn't believe it. I know it might seem like a small thing, but I find that these little moments where coincidence after coincidence occur are those little winks and smiles from Hashem. He cares and puts the perfect ideas and situations into our lives. It's our choice to see the stars aligning or just attribute to just being coincidences. Sher have helped me choose the former. Thank you for that. Any wishing you the best. Look forward to the next episode on my next long run. So hopefully now I have to speak quickly. You can always listen double speed and run faster. But hopefully it's a safe and enjoyable and productive run. The little winks and nods from Hashem. You're wearing the right shirt. Or you open up to the episode and it's the same safer. You look over at the shelf and there it is. You open the hag right to the right page. The winks, the nods, the hugs from Hashem. Who doesn't need a good hug? Who doesn't need a good hug from our creator? And Hashem shares them and sends them to us. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I've been listening to the podcast for a while. Really getting enjoying today. We had a really stressful experience on our trip. We took a wrong turn and ended up in traffic for an extra 40 minutes with a cranky baby and others who needed bathrooms. I can't say I won the challenge. I said some things I shouldn't have and should have acted better. But at some point when I was calmer, I told my kids the now famous line which I was listening to that morning of you are where you're meant to be. I told them straight out that I've had a hard time internalizing that right now even though it's running through my head. It was a very meaningful moment for us with my kids adding their own thoughts and acknowledging that we all have things that we need to work on and at least we know what we want to believe even if we're not there yet. And meaningful to me because I was still have work to do. Having the words come to my thoughts over and over is at least a start. Thank you again. So leaning in and embracing wherever we are, whatever is happening. Some of you are traveling back today. And I hope it's smooth sailing and no delays and no frustrations. But when we lean into that mentality, that attitude, that motto, we are where we are meant to be. That's what life is about. Again, back to the Shabas Lasha, the gula in the gulus is through the journey. If we're so focused only on the outcome and the destination, then we'll be bitter and resentful and miserable when we're along for the ride. But if we recognize the ride is the destination, that the journey and the process is exactly where we find the redemption, then we lean into it. We're not trying to deny it or escape from it. We're not trying to be resentful of it. And that was idea of the only difference between gola and gula. Exile and redemption is the letter alf. When you put the alf, when you put hashem in the gola, in the exile, you bring redemption in that moment. So even in that circumstance, even in that bitterness, even in that frustration, even in that pain, even in that anguish, even in whatever one's going through, when you add the olive in the gola, in the exile, you create gula within the gola. That's what we shared to count the stories of those even in the tunnels, even in captivity, even in their horrific horrific exile. And we dab that those who are still held should be returned immediately and safely and whole. But even in that place one can find Hashem as so many did. You must watch I said in the Yizkar Russia I talked about Elish Sharabi who when he got out in several of his interviews talked about seeing Hersh Goldberg Poland in the tunnels and the faith that he drew from Hersh and Hersh didn't get out but Ellis Sharabi picked up his baton he found faith and parts of observance in the tunnel. Could you imagine people who became more religious found greater faith discovered Hashem they didn't say where is he and how could he? They said I need him and lean on him. He's my only way out. And continued to connect. Continued to connect. Another one of the hostages who got out. I'm sorry I forgot his name. The one whose grandfather made the magnificent havala that night when he got out, he went back yesterday to the place in which he was captured, put on fillin and said shama. He didn't go back to the place he was captured and spit on the ground and say there is no god. He went back to that place he was captured to put on fillin and say shama. that when we add the olive in the gola, we could create gula even in the harshness, even buried underground, even in captivity. And God forbid, it should never be that. But whatever we're going through, hopefully please God, much less. But if we welcome and invite, if we find and lean on, if we feel the guiding hand on our shoulder of Hashem, if we understand that there's a process, there's a journey, there's something to extract and learn, there are sparks to take from here. Wherever we are, and however we find oursel, there's something to get done. There's a somewhere to be transformed. There's an experience we're meant to have while we're there. Now, it's an adventure. Let's find it and figure out what it is, what difference we're meant to make or what we're meant to take out. Then, it transforms and it change the entire essence. It changes the entire experience for ourselves. One more email, we'll dive back in. Go. Thank you for the weekly blah blah blah yada yada. I'm sending this email because I have a question I'm hoping the Rev can answer, address on a future shear. But, I'll start with a story. You've read emails with stories just like this of many variations. When it happened to me, I can't say I was surprised, but I was very moved. My father's a young man was in good health, and one day he suddenly wasn't feeling well. Barash, my sister, who's a nurse, encouraged him to go see the doctor. After some tests were done, doctor called Hatal and sent him to the ER, having noticed some issues and thinking my father would need a stent. The next day, when they did a cardiac cast to determine whether he would need a stent, they discovered more serious blockage, decided he'd need a bypass surgery, which is much more serious than a stent procedure. This was shocking and unexpected news to all of us and a flurry of emotions and decisions followed. This was on a Wednesday morning and I felt like I needed to ground myself from the flood of emotions I was feeling by listening to an amuna. I turned it on and one of the emails that you read was from a listener who himself had undergone a quadruple bypass surgery. She 337 February 26th. This was a tangible reminder to me that Hashem knew exactly what was happening that he's completely in charge. Hashem, the surgery was successful. Recovery has been going well. I'm grateful to have seen firsthand the hug from Hashem, the pat on the back to show he's right here with me always. So, she's there in the waiting room. Her father has to have bypass. She turns on an amuna to find some encouragement and we read a letter from somebody who just had bypass surgery. There are no coincidences. Nothing is random. It is all by design, a hug and not a wink from Hashem. But I was not surprised. Having listened to the Shir for some time now, I already knew that for those whose eyes are open, the signs are everywhere. If the ex if the antenna is extended, you could pick up the signal everywhere. Now for my question, how do I know if my amuna is working? When a stressful situation happens such as parnasa, shalbias, or other issues, I find myself in the grips of anxiety, loss of appetite, a tight feeling in my chest, thoughts swirling. Try to tell myself it's from Hashem. It's where I'm meant to be, but that doesn't get rid of the anxiety. Try to channel it by dabbing sometimes, but it feels kind of forced. I do have many other times where I feel a strong connection. Is the goal supposed to be not feeling any anxiety at all or minimally when a stressful situation crops up? And if yes, how can one get there? Thank you. That's a great question. It's a good question. No, I'm sure it's one that occurs to many of us. And I don't know that I have the perfect answer. This is a work in progress. I am a work in progress and we're all working on this always. But I'll just tell you my argument my feelings in hearing that question. I don't know that living with amuna and the notion that faith and connection and feeling of hashem in our lives is meant to put ice in our veins. It's not meant to put ice in our veins that we go through life without any feelings. It's not meant to make us numb. We still have feelings. There's still highs and lows. There's still happiness and joys and sadness and grief. There's still moments of anxiousness, a little worry, maybe even a borderline panic. What amuna can do is help us regulate ourselves to bring us back to equilibrium. What it can help us do is after we have the natural and instinctive and intuitive reaction to the situations that life has. And Hashem designed us and created us that way to be very healthy. You know, the most dangerous children, the children who are in the greatest danger are the ones who are the most fearless. Fear is a very healthy quality because fear creates boundaries for us. So you don't dangle off the side of a bridge, you don't climb to the top of a ladder of balance, and you don't stick your finger in outlets, and you don't do risky behavior because you have a healthy dose of fear. If you have too much fear, you have anxiety and panic. You're gripped and debilitated and paralyzed by fear, then it's unhealthy. If you have too little fear, then you live a reckless and a dangerous life that can often end in tragedy, car accidents, and other accidents. So like the three bears, you have to have just the right amount of fear. Not too much, not too little, not too hot, not too cold, just right. It has to be just right. And that's true for every quality we have. And I would argue even a healthy dose of anxiousness. If you're anxious about something, anxiousness, I can tell you only speaking from experience, when I'm anxious, shabas is coming, I better start thinking about a topic. I better start working on an outline. I better start putting together. It's very healthy. You feel little butterflies about Pesak coming up. Cannot talk about it because you have 340 something days to it. So, so if you feel I'm a little anxious. I noticed on the calendar there's something called Pesak. It's coming up. Let me start planning. If the anxiousness is of a driver and a motivator, if we can regulate it and we can overcome it, we can channel it to be able to bring a positive action and outcome, then it's healthy. If we're stuck from it, we're paralyzed, we're debilitated, we're we're we're stuck because we're so anxious, then it's unhealthy, then it's unhealthy. So, no, I I think that if a person is sitting in a waiting room while someone they love is undergoing a life-threatening surgery or a life-saving hopefully surgery, and they say, "Yeah, hunky dory commas could be, I have no feelings whatsoever. All is good. Why? Why do you ask?" Then then maybe there's something a little off. There's a little psychosis. Maybe maybe they don't really love that person who's under the knife. If a person says, "I'm a little bit anxious, but you know what? I'm channeling that into saying to them because Hashem's in charge. Hashem is the great surgeon above. Hashem is guiding the surgeon's hands. Hashem is determining the outcome and however it turns out is from Hashem and will be for the best. But frankly, yeah, I got a little anxiousness about what that outcome will be. I know it will be for the best. I'm prepared for it to be the best. I submit and surrender it will be for the best. And I know it's all Hashem's hands. But yeah. Yeah. So that I think is what Hashem is wanting. So if a person is feeling more than that, if they're feeling the level of anxiety and worry and fear that their physical manifestations of it, there's nothing wrong. And a person should see with no stigma and no judgment and no shame should see some help because you're no different than the whole world. Corona long before Corona. Corona a year and a half war since Corona has rendered the entire world the entire Jewish world any feeling thinking member of the world has some level of anxiety the whole the whole world and there's no shame there's no embarrassment and anyone who needs help and support should seek it and explore it and and and not hesitate for it. So if there's more than just whatever the baseline is of it, but if a person says, "I am a little anxious while I said to him in the waiting room with confidence, Hashem was in charge and in control with comfort knowing the outcome would be whatever he wants. But yeah, of course I had little knots in my stomach. Of course, I didn't have an appetite. I wasn't fussing on sushi while sitting in the waiting room for the surgery to be over." Not there's anything wrong if you're able to do that, too. God bless and enjoy. But there's nothing wrong if a person says I'm feeling just a little bit a little bit anxious is not meant to turn off your feelings. We've spoken about this in the past. This story of Ravula who was leaving the of Raoba was leaving a shiva call the great Rashiva who sat acting like he had no grief or sadness at the loss of his wife because it's all from Hashem. Anda turned to his and said within a couple weeks he's going to crash and burn because if you deny normal human feeling and emotion like grief and sadness then you will crash because those are normal. So a little anxiousness and a little worry, a little concern, a little nerves, those are healthy emotions. There's a boundary. If they're expressing themselves in a way that they're unhealthy, then they need support and intervention. But if they are regulated in a way which is healthy, then there's nothing wrong. So that's libby. That's that's how I understand it. That's how I try to experience it. If I'm a little nervous, I still get nervous between before every time I tell every bar mitzvah boy I meet with when I ask are you nervous about your laning? They all say yes. And if they say no, then I worry about them. But if they everyone says yes, I say don't. I said don't be feel bad. I'm nervous before every single time I speak. It's not a debilitating nervousness. And and I'm happy for it because if I'm not, I won't produce. I think it's good. It's good to feel it a little bit. It's good to feel it a little bit. That's what drives us to want to prepare and to want to give it our all and to want to come through and to want to produce. So that's good. Channel it. These are healthy feelings. Normal healthy human emotions and feelings should not be denied or suppressed and we shouldn't numb them. Amuna and are not an elixir that numb or suppress normal human emotion. A person underwent a loss, feel sadness and grief. Lean in and process it and experience it with Hashem. A person under goes a sima, sing and dance and feel joy and jubilation and process it with gratitude to Hashem. Someone has something coming up which is something that induces some anxiousness. Be a little anxious but channel it into leaning and turning towards and asking Hashem for help. Don't deny or suppress normal human emotion. Lean in, express it, and experience it. But use it all to channel in a way that makes me feel closer and more connected to Hashem. So if my anxiousness makes me say what Hashem, where Hashem, how Hashem, how do I know he's going to come through and where is he? and what will be and I don't know if he's really in charge maybe this is up to me and will I get it done that's unhealthy but if I feel yeah of course I'm a little bit an who wouldn't be anxious there's a surgery coming up who wouldn't be a little bit anxious but you know what I do when I start to feel anxious I realize Hashem's in charge he's the surgeon he'll control the outcome and whatever it will be will be what's meant to be and that's how I control it then that's healthy then there's nothing wrong with it page hey in the source sheets if you want we have more up here we're still learning and we're on the section the paragraph The essay on all of us have to take initiative and effort. Part of the way Hashem designed a world is that we each have a trust fund. We each have a we each have a uh what's it called? Put the money not in an endowment in an escrow. Thank you. We each have an escrow where Hashem has put there's great blessing in escrow for us. But in order to access the escrow, in order to transfer the funds, in order to be able to benefit from the trust, then we need to do our own. So the shebra is already set aside. Hashem already predetermined what's there or at least what the maximum of what we could draw from. But in order to tap into it, we have to do aadas. So we're on the left hand paragraph. It's not on us to do everything. You also can't do nothing. Just like the three bears, you got to find the exact right measure. You can do excessive. You could do too much. you obsess excessive too much initiative. If Hashem wants you to succeed, to be wealthy, he can produce that by working eight or 10 or 12 hours a day. If you're working 18 and 20 hours a day, it is excessive. If you're working three hours a day, you say, you see, Hashem, I showed up three hours of the day. Now, make it rain. He says that's too little because that's not normative. That's not normal. That's not what happens. You're looking for something exceptional. you're relying on a revealed miracle. We have to do what is reasonable. We have to do what's reasonable and what is normal. And that is the prerequisite. That's what opens up the gates. That's how we access the escrow, the trust for Hashem to transfer the shea in our health in our parasa in our quest to have children in our quest for to get married. We can't do excessive. We spoke a few weeks ago the area where we're supposed to do the least people do the most take the least initiative people take the most excessive and that is Hashem is the one who's making the do your part you have to do something you can't do nothing but once you do your part and do something leave it all up to let go and let God he is the great in the sky he's the great upstairs so and then in the area of work he says do more and that's where people want to do very little and say now produce now come through. We're turning the page as we said often the initiative doesn't correlate or correspond with the outcome he demands. He requires one of the ways that we display and demonstrate faith in him is by taking initiative. We have to take initiative, but the initiative doesn't necessarily correlate with the outcome. We could network, we could market, we could cold call, and then it turns out that it rained, we got business, picked up clients, but having nothing to do with the networking that we did. But if we didn't do any networking at all, those clients would have never come because the prerequisite in order to be able to access those, we need to take our initiative. One of the ways that we can't recalibrate and we reenter and we refocus and we remind ourselves who's really in charge, who's really in control. Yes, I go to go to work. Yes, I display my entrepreneurship and my creativity and my ingenuity. Yes, I have a work ethic. I'm the first one there and the last one to leave and I work hard the whole day and I take the minimal breaks. But you know what? At the end of the day, the breakthrough, the success, anything that I have is not because of me. Where does it come from? And why do I have it? It's all from above. It's all from Hashem. And that's what we have to that's what we have to remember. If you look in the footnote tells us this, where does it appear? I'm tempted to say it like a right now, but where does it appear? An ashray. Whoever recites ash the paragraph in at the end of whoever says ashray three times a day is guaranteed the world to come. Oh, that's that simple. I could go and eat cheeseburgers and cheat on my taxes and have affairs. I can go murder and rape and pillage. I can go and do whatever I want. And yet, if I say ashray three times a day, I'm guaranteed a portion of the world to come. That's all I have to do. It's that simple. I could gossip and slander. I could do whatever I want. And yet all I have to do then is say ashray. Make sure I get my count. Three ash a day and I'm good to go. It's that simple. That's all. That's what the rabbis meant. Whoever says so writes in his commentary there on the It's not saying ash each day. It's living ash each day. It's not saying words. It's easy to offer empty lip service. To say the words every day, that's easy. That doesn't bring you to the world to come. That doesn't guarantee you a future. What gives you entrance into the world to come is not saying the words. It's living and breathing. It's thinking and being mindful. It's practicing. And that's what the Benoya says that you have to be M. You have to believe in truth authentically, sincerely that all of your livelihood comes from where? God Almighty. Can a person really get there? All of a sudden, we just went from incredibly easy to incredibly hard. We went from all you have to do is say it three times a day to have you ever said it this way in your life. Has anyone ever said those words? I couldn't help it. Have you ever said, "God, you open your hands and you provide for every living being. You satisfy. You give to every living being." Have you ever said it in such a way that you really mean that when I when I deposit my paycheck, it's not because of me. It's all from you. All my success, all my breakthrough, all my profit, all my livelihood, all my income, it is all you. Who's the one who helped me land that client? You. Who's the one who made me believe this is the bottom of the market? Now's a good time to get back back in. You. Who's the one who made you think of that marketing plan? You. Who's the one who gave me the strength to wake up that early, stay up that late, and have that energy to work all day long? You. We went from it's so easy. All you have to do is say it three times a day, too. Wow. Have you ever said it the right way in your entire life? It's easy. It's easy. But before they make and the the last paragraph of first paragraph of benching much like a is enough is enough. They love they love. It's beautiful. You open up your hand and you satisfy each living being with. It's a question whose will go back to sitter snippets. We spoke about this at a you open your hand and you satisfy the every living being. Whose will? Our will or his will? Which will? You can interpret it both ways. But Hashem, you bring that satisfaction. You're the one who provides to say it says the benoy when are you guaranteed the world to come only when you say it with all of ya all of your faith can we really get there it went from incredibly easy to incredibly hard to live at that level that level of mindfulness consciousness that Hashem right now I'm depositing my paycheck and I think it's the result of my hard work and I'm depositing it with a little pride but it's not really me it's all you we spoke earlier two three four years ago. I don't even remember which safer we were learning. We said we should get to a point when someone says, you know, where'd your paycheck come from that we don't say synagogue? You say, "Hashem, where's your income from?" Hashem, it doesn't matter what it says on the check you're depositing. The real source of whatever you're depositing is Hashem. Because I promise you, I promise you there are a million other people who are as smart as you, who worked as hard as you, have the same education as you, and they didn't have that success. So, it's Hashem. It's Hashem. He determines. He decides. Why did he decide for you and not for others? That's a great question. That's a difficult question. That's a question for another time. Why there are those who say, "I'm as smart as the person who has the success. How come I'm still struggling? How come I have no masle? How come it feels like I'm a no matter what I do, no matter what I try, no matter how hard I work, I never get the results. I'm a schmaz. I can never break through and I never am able to access or open that escrow. That's a great question, a difficult question, a painful question, a question we're not addressing right now. But all of us now ash three times a day from simply offering and depositing lip service simply saying to meaning it to believing it to feeling it and to instilling that feeling within ourselves. This is not some small thing because the ego gets in the way. I was reading a book over y this was a long y with long days a lot of learning and a lot of family time and a lot of games and a lot of fun and a lot of time for reading and learning so I read a couple books but one of them I was reading is ego is the enemy very powerful book ego is the enemy maybe a future shabash with Russia ego is the enemy and the ego stands every time we say the ego is saying don't mean it don't mean it it's not really him it's you you put in the time you worked hard it's your sweat and tears It's all you. It's all you. That ego, that pride, it swells within us. So yeah, it's easy to offer a lip service and open our hands and raise our hand. It's easy to say the words. But to mean it that none of it's me. It's all a gift granted from you. You gave me that idea. You gave me that creativity. You gave me that energy. You gave me that strength. It's all you. And without you, I would have none of it. And it's lo it's on loan. It's never permanent. It could disappear at any moment. It could disappear at any moment. All of us, no matter what we do, no matter what area we're working in, whether it's professionally, whether it's personally, whatever talent or skill, we can wake up one day and it is gone. Star athletes who overnight lost whatever ability they had. Star musicians who overnight woke up with laryngitis or vocal issues and could never perform again. Brilliant people. Brilliant people who wake up, God forbid, God forbid a stroke, dementia, who can't perform again, can't remember again. No shortage of examples to help us realize and feel all of it. Whatever we have, whatever skills, talents, traits, blessings, they are on loan. They're never part of our permanent collection. Never swell with too much pride. So whether it's the end of Yantiff, I hope the people in your life said an enormous thank you at the end of Yantiff, all throughout Yantiff and before Yantiff of what goes into shopping, cautering, preparing, cleaning, cooking, clearing Yantiff. No one should ever take it for granted. It deserves the greatest and biggest thank you in every direction. I don't know that we do a good enough job of this. And I'm going to generalize for a moment. you'll forgive me for it, but I don't know that husbands do a good enough job, particularly in front of their children at every meal before and after Y of saying to their wife, none of this happened on its own, thank you for all the planning and incredible hard work and providing this most magnificent Yantiff where every meal, every meal surpassed the one before. And I don't know whether wives say to their husbands in front of their children in particular, thank you for your hard work, maybe running beautiful sedarum, maybe preparing beautiful detra to enhance every meal, or working incredibly hard to bring in the income that paid for this beautiful yontan. Again, I know I'm generalizing and women also provide the income and may men also may be cooked and cleaned and cooked. I got it. I'm just generalizing just by way of random examples. So, just forgive me for it. But we don't do a good enough job of that. And one can easily swallow with pride at the end of say I nailed it. Pesak tough 2025 is in the books. Nailed it. Every meal fantastic. Every cook came out perfect. Every seder was exactly the way I want. I don't know anyone who can say any of these things, but even if you're tempted or believe you want to, that is the ego is the enemy. We're tempted to swell with pride and say, "All me nailed the yiskar drussa, nailed the controversial afternoon class, which jury is still out if it was nailed. Nailed the thing." Now, it's so easy to swell with pride, but you can never swallow with pride. You have to realize it's on loan. You have to realize it's borrowed. It's never part of your permanent collection. And whether it's making a kgle or whether it's making a drussa or whether it's singing at a concert or whatever it is that we're trying to do in our lives while we're tempted to feel it's all mem you opened up your hand. I have videos I didn't share publicly because I don't think either of them wanted. They were private moments that I was probably invading. I think I told you this before. One was before Yisha Reebo came out of my office to perform. And then last year a couple months ago when Akiva Torjam was coming out of my office to perform and each of them thinking the room was empty sat at the door before they came in. You know in that buildup the lights go off the music is playing. It's it's super exciting super dramatic. And each of them said a peric ofum. And each of them turned to Hashem and said, "Hashem, Hashem, move my lips and let me sing." Because you could get up there and fall flat. You could get up there and forget your lyrics. You could get up there and your voice could crack. You could get up there and a million and one things can go wrong. And when you're done and come off that stage, then I have a video. Aka surrounded himself with the guys and they said a perk, Ms. Mlesoda. They thanked Hashem for a successful concert. Can you imagine before each concert at the end of each concert? Imagine. It's what we should do. Let's huddle before the meal. Stav and the chicken came out well. The cook came out good. Come on. Let's nail it. And the meal. So you don't have to imagine. That's exactly what we do. We make a before we eat. Then we bench or we make an afterwards we say, "Hashem, we nailed it. Thank you." We make a before the cup of coffee. Let this cup of coffee. Everyone had what they missed most over y. We are actually all incredibly pathetic. We shouldn't have missed anything because pes you know when Pesak in my youth when I was young when Pesak was 101 ways to make potatoes so we missed a lot of good food. Pes today is pesos pes pizza pes cake pes co you miss nothing about pes you can make almost anything kosha pes n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n non gross and it tastes as good as it did all year all year round. But anyway, we missed nothing. Nevertheless, people missed many things. Some missed their coffee. Coffee snobs missed their coffee. They want not the instant and not the thing and I need my creamer and I need my thing and I need and I need and the first coffee they had last night, the first cup this morning. That first cup you have to caffeinate with kavana. We do exactly what aka did before and after his concert is what we're meant to do before and after every time we eat. Hashem, let this cup of coffee turn out perfect. The right amount of again, I don't know if it's coffee or a milkshake, whatever. I have strong opinions about this. A proper black coffee, you know, is the way coffee was meant to drink. Once you're adding all these other things you have in a milkshake, call it a coffee. Make yourself happy. Whatever you want to call it, but it's it's a milkshake. But anyway, you make that braha. Let my milkshake turn out perfect. The right amount of caramel, the right amount of latte, the right amount of foam, the right amount of uh the creamer, hazelnut, French vanilla, the right amount. Let it be the right amount. That's the you help put in you help make the right amount of it all for it to be delicious. Let it be delicious. And then you finish drinking it. Interesting question. Can you make a and a cup of coffee because it was so hot? Did you sip enough in the requisite measure of time? Again, not for now. But assuming you make a you say, boy, a Hashem, what a gishmack of the cup. Not me. I'm the great what's it called? Barista. I'm the great barista in my home. I made the greatest cup of coffee ever. No, Hashem, it's all you. Before before and after everything we do, before you walk into court and when you walk out of court, before you walk in the operating room, when you walk out of the operating room, before you walk in the kitchen, when you walk out of the kitchen, before you walk up to the Beimma, and after you walk away from the Beimma, I'm far from perfect and I'm always working on it. But I try to practice this before a drussa, maybe more out of desperation than anything else, I say to Hashem, "Please help me. Please let it come out. Please give me the right words. Please let it go smoothly." And afterwards, if it went well, I said, "Thank you, Hashem. I have a strict imposttor syndrome." So, I pulled it off on them again. I can't believe they're still buying into this. Thank you, Hashem, for your for your help with it. That's how we're meant to live our life. That's okay. I'll tell you why I was wearing the polo shirt. Because I went to play golf that day with two of my sons-in-law and the two son-in-law played in their own golf cart and I was hosted somewhere else. I don't normally get spoiled and play this way, but there was a caddy. So the caddy, you know, if you're nice and kind and normal and you have an empty seat in your golf cart, you say, particularly when you have a long ride on a hole, come come in my cart. So my friend who was from Boston, I had to suffer coloid. If the three hours in the Apple store weren't bad enough, I had to hear about the Red Sox and Boston from my caddy who grew up Roman Catholic and didn't even know it was Passover or what it was about or what was going on. But we end up, of course, having a whole conversation about religion. And because he's from Boston, he had very colorful language and then felt very bad afterwards. Only on the 18th old did he say, you know, I just realized you're a rabbi. I probably shouldn't have been using the language I was all the last several hours. Anyway, but he said to me, he said, you know, he grew up in Boston and he was Roman Catholic and one of the prominent figures in his denomination who was at the heart of enormous controversy that had to do with causing pain to young men was a very close family friend of his. and he was turned off to religion and practiced nothing all these years. So he said to me, you know, I really would love to explore religion again, but I don't even know where to begin. I wouldn't even know where to begin. This was my vacation activity in the golf cart was doing Kira on a Roman Catholic caddy. So a really nice guy. So I said to him, just start talking to God. Talk to him. Not as if, but he is your best friend. Just open your heart. He's like, well, what would I say? I said, 'Talk to him about everything in your life, big or small, consequential, inconsequential, whatever you need his help with. I said, 'You know, before when we pulled up today to the course, I said, ' God, I barely get to play. I really enjoy. Don't ruin it for me. Let me come through. Help me hit the ball long and straight. Help the day go up. By the way, he said, "No, but help me be a help it be a help it be a successful day and a happy day. Let me enjoy and let me play well." This caddy was blown away. He said, "You ask God to play well?" I said, 'Yeah, I I asked him before the last shot, and I'm going to ask him before the next shot, and I find myself when I'm in the bunker. I find myself talking to him a lot. In fact, there's a lot more sincere prayer on the golf course than there is in the synagogue. This is a great should be called a place of worship. So, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. So, I said, "What's the issue?" He said, "There's such bigger things in the world. God has to take care of my needs, like, you know, playing well in a particular golf game." So, I said, "The problem is that you're trying to put God in a box. You're trying to make him smaller than he is. God is unlimited. He's infinite. He's omnipotent. So, you're right. If he had a certain amount, he could either give it to the homeless guy or help you play well today or help you get a big tip at the end of this round. It's a little selfish. It's wrong for you to ask it when the homeless person really needs it much more. But guess what? God's got enough for everyone. God is limitless. God is infinite. So, ask him for whatever you need and whatever you want. and things as big as world peace, ending wars, healing illness, and things as small as get me out of this bunker in one try. He's capable of answering and providing it all. Nothing is too big or too small and start there. Start there. That's all you need. That's all you need. Certainly don't go back to what you had, but that's all you need in your own way. Turn them into a Noahide. That's all you need. Don't rip the limb off a live animal. Don't murder. Don't steal. and talk to God. Talk to God. That's all. They're pretty easy. Seven Noah laws. They're pretty easy. So that was that was my conversation. Um with him. And that's the ruton. I got in the bunker and I said, "Hashem, you open up your hands and you give everyone." And I came out of the bunker reeling it wasn't your rut zone for me to hit a good bunker shot. The ruts is his will, not ours. And if a choice or a conflict between the two, we should always want his will over ours because his will is coming from the perspective of the infinite omnipotent one and not our limited one. And a conflict between the two, we should always always surrender to his. So saying ashray three times a day, that's easy as anything. living ashray three times a day, living and meaning it, not be swelling and filled with pride about the kougal or the surgery you performed or the case you just argued in court or the investment you just made or the client you just picked up or the profit you just made or the dresser you just delivered. Not swelling with pride, but realizing yes, I'm proud of the work I put in and I'm proud of the outcome. But I also realize it all came only from above. And in the rabbinet they say you're only as good as your next Russia. But I really believe that about Hashem until he helps me and gives me the material for the next one. I don't believe it's coming. I believe it's the end of the ride. I guess this was it. It was a fun ride. It was good while it lasted. But Hashem is the one. He's the one who either keeps the spot the faucet open or one day he can choose to close it and turn it off. He's the one who decides. That's true with our health. That's what that's this is all Yiddish Torah. This is all Jewish life. We wake up every morning, we take for granted my knees and my hips and my ankles, they all work and everything is well and everything is wonderful. And then one day you wake up with an ache and a pain and a crack and this thing broke. The warranty doesn't cover it anymore. And you lived a certain number of years and now it broke down and now it needs to be replaced. Now it hurts. Now you can't take it as much for granted. You have to wake up every day with gratitude. It's all from you. It's all from you, Hashem. One of the other books I didn't quite finish. I've been trying to make my way, but I'm finding it dense. Marilyn is outlive Peter Atia. It's a very powerful book. It's got a lot of data and math and formulas. I just want sort of the summary at the end of each chapter that says, "And therefore do this." He's got a lot of the background on the process and the studies and the research. It's a little dense. It's the end of each one. But it's basically medicine 2.0 and 3.0, which is not reactive medicine. When something goes wrong, how do you treat it and fix it? But how do you proactively live a healthy life to live longer and live healthier so things won't break down? And absolutely, it's the way that we should all be living and it's the direction we should all be turning. And you can't help but read it and sometimes say to yourself, but in the end of the day, isn't it all up to God? There are people who live this life and they drop dead of a heart attack at a young age. And there are people who live to ripe old ages. My wife had a grandfather her Opa who, God bless him, he's an amazing, extraordinary man, a survivor in many, many ways. But I remember he was at a Pesak program. We went to visit him. He was in his deep 80s, maybe even early 90s. And I remember the waiter pulled me aside. He was calling my visit. He said, "Boy, your grandfather's got some appetite." But Hashem deep into age. He wasn't careful what he ate, how much he ate, how he lived, did he move, did he exercise? And he was to live a long life. So you say, does it really matter? You read the book and you want to say to yourself, there are people who live this book and they die young. And there are people who neglect this entire book and lifestyle and they live long. So does it really matter? So maybe we'll pick up with that next week. But that comes into theadas. Yes, in the end of the day, Hashem determines the outcome, but he relies on us to take the initiative. And and even though you could find outliers on the whole and statistically this life and this behavior will still highly influence what that outcome what that outcome will be what that outcome will be. So back again, that's your homework for next week is to say ash and mean it. Don't just say it, live it. Just like before and after the concert, before and after everything we eat, before and after everything we do. Hashem said, "Help me. Help me bring about the outcome I want. Help it go smoothly and help it go well. And afterwards, thank you for what it did. And if it didn't, thank you for that, too, because it was meant to flop. This golf shot, this kougal, this speech was meant to not succeed and that's okay too. That's also the outcome. That's also the outcome that is warranted or that is correct. We'll pick up from here next week. Have a great day. Next week we're back to Wednesday. Please remain form as always and the hostages return. Our soldiers are safe. Everyone takes a booklet. We can finish pretty quickly. Please remain for Taylor.