Living With Emunah (Part 335) - Accept the Present of Today

okay good morning back good morning welcome back to living with amuna sorry for the uh confusion complication with the link let's try that again good morning welcome back to living with amuna sorry for the technology complication but glad we're together now hopefully everyone can find it who's looking for it Hashem will determine who gets to who gets to to find it the series J sponsored by Dr zavi Morgan in memory of re Dr Brian galet in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen chander We Are Forever incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity this morning sheer is also sponsored by Neil and Bry pomper for the yite of BR Bim in honor of their daughter Naomi's upcoming birthday happy birthday and by car W in memory of her brother thank you by J and Melissa Keen in commemoration of the second year side of his mother Helen kin her by Andrea zuker in memory of her father Dr Martin Leman for a second year at site Andrea thank you for coming each week and learning with us by AI Stang in commemoration of the Year her beloved mother Olga Newman liba Rifka Bas Mor thank you so much alah enjoy your special guest by or 11 in honor of her birthday as a thanks to Gober and the women of BRS to make the year possible thank you to the amuna accountability Partners her cousin sister and dear friend so thank you to all of our incredibly generous sponsors we appreciate it very very much um got a giveaway for you a new giveaway I'm glad it's finally here big thank you to Al landow for Designing it and a big thank you to Greta bam for producing it but we have here a decal for the windshield of your car I have one on my car and yesterday when I was driving carpool yes little Flex I drove carpool yesterday I got stuck at I was running late and I got stuck the train you know it's like the worst thing you see the train thing come down and the lights flashing like ah I gotta go I got things to do don't you know who I am what do you mean and I looked and I looked at that little decal I looked at the little decal in my windshield says embrace your place you are exactly where you are meant to be embrace your place you are where you're meant to be have one for everybody feel free to give a little donation to The Sho if you are grateful for it $10 whatever you'd like to give you could give it in cash there's a little kiosk in the lobby you could run your credit card do it online but take for however many cards you have it peels off it goes in the windshield and when you're stuck at a red light stuck behind a slow car stuck in traffic stuck behind the train stuck uh because you made a wrong turn you just look up at the little decal and you say embrace your place you are exactly where you're meant to be we are producing this for luggage tag so that when you're sitting in the airport you find out your flight's delayed you can embrace your place and for your cell phone case and uh we're not looking to get rich or build our campus off of these we're just trying to increase and promote amuna for ourselves and around the world so again and by the way if you're listening or you're watching somewhere else BRS online.org decal BRS online.org decal and we're happy to send one to you just put your information and we're happy to send it to you for your car okay I want to begin but not really begin but sort of begin because how could you not begin with aam Burger wow she is an amuna sheir and I don't want to talk about it now because I'm still processing and thinking about it I want to talk another time I just want to say the following we know that 20-year-old aam Burger became grew in her amuna and her observance in a tunnel underneath Gaza in captivity while held hostage simultaneously and without knowing on a physical level but we have to believe some some met metaphysical level they knew her mother started keeping shabus while she was in a tunnel underground nothing about the story is normal nothing about the story is is in this world it's extraordinary on top of extraordinary on top of extraordinary she embraced and lived and when she left Gaza in the hostage deal and please got all the hostages before Saturday at 12: p.m today all the hostages should come home she wrote on a little whiteboard and held in the window of the car when she was released for the world to see her message to the universe was Derek amuna bti she didn't write she can't uh copyright that phrase I wish she could she deserves to make a lot of money off of it she can't because it's already been copyrighted anyone know by whom DAV D in King David and his chapter 119 verse3 writes I want to tell you something I say till him every month many years ago I started every day till him could be divided up into 30 parts 30 days in a month you say a little bit every day you finish theum once a month I have in it my I have a list of all my children my grandchildren the other side a list of all the sick people in our community and that I know of in general and every day I'm not it takes a few minutes takes next to nothing there are people who finish all tillum every day where tillum can also be divided in seven you could finish it once a week once a month you're like nothing so I'm not that's the opposite of a flex but I try to finish with I've been saying till for many many many many years and I am embarrassed and you and ashamed to say I didn't realize that until she held it up on a whiteboard in the window of the car taking her to Freedom so not only did she know the PK which is extraordinary in captivity she embodies she lives she is the PK I have chosen the path of amuna I have chosen to live with amuna now the only thought I want to share on this today reserving the right to come back to her this story this inspiration another time is it occurred to me as the world all these articles are coming out and everyone's speaking about it everyone's Blown Away understandably by it here's what occurred to me God forbid God forbid God forbid a million billion times she wouldn't have gotten out and she wouldn't be released and the story would have the worst possible ending we would never know but it would still be extraordinary that der what makes the story extraordinary is not that we know about it is not that now all kinds of Jewish swag will be produced with derti who will be the first to create the sweatshirt and the decal and the cups and the bumper sticker it's that she lived that way without anyone knowing she didn't do that because she knew she'd come out and all the Articles would be written and all the rabbis and reiton would speak about it and everybody would be blown away by it she lived that way without anyone knowing or noticing except the most important one Hashem she did it for herself it was the resilience the resolve the tenacity the strength it's what got her through it's how she chose to live you know she she started keeping kosher in Gaza and the only way we know about this is not because she came out and said microphones cameras I got a story to tell you have books to write about me she didn't tell anybody the people that were taken and held captive with her on the out when they got out said do you know she wouldn't eat non kosher in Gaza she wouldn't touch the non kosher food do you know she kept shabas do you know the that she found a sitter while being held hostage and daved every day so I I just I feel that aam burger that whiteboard she's holding up is to each and every one of us and challenging us are you ready to say it's a simple question yes or no do you live your life with amuna or not do you panic do you get anxious do you get worried do you get envious do you get arrogant or do you let go and let God do you surrender and submit do you go along for the ride do you realize that you're a passenger are you a thermostat thermometer everything we've talked about for all these years we've been learning it's a simple question that she's asking each and every one of us she is telling us that she chose and now she's asking each and every one of us no are you on board are you on the train are you gonna get through whatever you're going through in life and I want to say this again and I want to reiterate incredibly strongly she did not do that so she would get out she didn't do that so that when she got out we would all not stop talking about her what's most remarkable about this story is that she lived it and chose it when she thought no one would ever know about it and she didn't know if anyone would ever find out about it and she didn't know if she'd get out so there's a lot more to process and think about and learn and be inspired by but it just struck me when I look at that whiteboard I felt like talking to me you're right I really need to work on this and think about this and grow in this and I need to be able to answer in the affirmative and the positive to d a lot more to come back in the future about about aam Berger a couple emails and we'll get back into our learning dear Goldberg my husband and I love your sh today we listen to living with amuna on our way to an IVF egg retrieval people struggling with fertility infertility primary secondary it's among the most painful things in the world the loneliness the uncertainty the doubt the roller coaster the physical pain enduring shots and procedures the emotional and spiritual pain of putting all your trust and faith in Hashem asking hoping waiting wanting wondering we D we D from the bottom of our hearts that everybody waiting should get the best news and please God have the most amazing NAS from the healthiest most beautiful children as I lay on the operating table before the anesthesiologist administered the sedative I reflected on how when our infertility Journey began 10 years ago I was so upset knowing that IVF would be my only path to having children we're now blessed with three beautiful children we are incredibly grateful to Hashem for bringing these Nas into our lives at the perfect time still I occasionally wish we didn't have to endure all the shots blood tests ultrasounds and we could conceive naturally in that moment on the operating table I could hear your words in my mind I am where I meant to be this is our story and it's from Hashem this is how our children are coming into the world through a beautiful miraculous process that's perfect for us choreographed quote choreographed and curated by Hashem I don't know what the future holds tomorrow we'll find out how many eggs were fertilized and only in a few weeks will we know if it worked but right now I'm calm and at peace knowing we are walking this journey with Hashem thank you for helping us strengthen our amuna muscle May hasem grant us comment on certain times we look forward to contining to learn with you and appreciate the Torah very much shb Shalom I hope by now she heard positive results and please God as I said everyone should have healthy wonderful beautiful children on whatever table in whatever place with whatever we're going through embrace your place your where you meant to be hem is with us wherever we are let go and let God and go along for the ride and life is an adventure and figure out where he takes us next and it includes painful parts and pleasurable Parts but no bad Parts because they're all by definition good because they are all from hasem even when they don't feel like it and that's what some of these many many many piles of emails and they're amazing and they inspire me and keep writing them and I love them and they blow me away I'd like to start by thanking you blah blah blah I've been listening through hard times and although I can't say I listen all the time when I am in need and listen it is help me through some difficult moments I continue to listening more and a sincere thank you for the weekly as I preface this email and focusing more in struggles I've been through I'm blessed with so much good thankful to hasem and it's not taken for granted I say this knowing pain is the greatest Catalyst for growth the direction of this email I'll just interrupt myself to say last night we had the great spoke last night many of you were there b was a packed house beautiful crowd and he said that we're going through difficult times he reviewed some of the extraordinary questions that he's been dealing with over the last 15 months unbelievable mindboggling questions the soldier wants to know who lost limbs whether you make a aanu when you get your prosthetic arm which arm you what you put fill on prosthetic arm a soldier wanted to know who got married and the next day went back to the front and his friends wanted to say Chas but there's no kala so do you say Chas if you only have the but no Kal he said nobody dealt with these questions because if you had AAS where there was no kala there was likely noas the Kal didn't show didn't want to be there but at time of War on a Battlefront when friends said we want to celebrate so and these were just some samples of the question so he mentioned in a time of tragedy we all can't help but ask why why he said I want to encourage you to ask why not when things are going wrong I want to encourage you to ask why every day of your life when things are going right you woke up and you have the same headcount in your house you woke up and everyone's healthy you woke up you went outside it was a beautiful day you woke up and you have parnasa say why why me Hashem why why do I deserve all this BR all this bounty all this good why and he said maybe if we ask why more when everything's going right we won't put in a be in a position to have to ask why when things are going wrong if we say and ask more why when everything's going right we won't have to ask why when everything's going wrong so the amuna gets us through these hard times like a lot of Amun emails you read this one does not have a happy ending yet 31 years old and not married I've dated 107 guys and only a few of but who's counting and only a few of them seriously the week after suus I started dating someone long distance confidently felt this was the one we dated two and a half months and although there were some bumps along the way everything was not going as smoothly as I hoped I was so grateful to Hashem for finally sending me my Basher meaning someone I really want to spend the rest of my life with everything I'd been told to look for in spouse match values chemistry throughout the process I really tried to cling to my amuna it was all meant to be work out for the best three weeks ago he ended it and Hashem clearly decided us being together was not for my best albeit my heart and mind feeling very differently and hoping that the outcome changes being 31 and single presents itself with so many challenges in The Firm World throughout them all I've have tried hard to cling to Hashem and really worked on strengthening my amuna muscles over the years you speak about letting yourself feel pain and having amuna sometimes it is so hard for me in the last few years I just crumbled and gave all my pain over to Hashem and asked him to hold it for me a constant Battle of ups and downs but I've always used amuna to keep myself happy through the process and work on internalizing everything hasem does is for my best and he's got me I've been lucky to say mostly POS mostly positive and happy and rely on my amazing friends and family for support this time I'm really struggling to feel my amuna one end I really logically know it's for the best for me I truly believe hm knows what's best I am what I meant to be and most importantly hashm loves me as something better in store there have been moments where I feel ASM holding me and sometime in moments of Doubt or embarrassed to say I feel hm is just being mean to me last week in your sh you mentioned waiting for a is not relying on a miracle and something within the realm of hm's doing Gober feels like waiting for a miracle having this to get married have children be able to leave the stagnant Purgatory of being a firm single just think about that that language those words if you're married if you're happily married if your children are married think about those who are not feeling that they're in a stagnant Purgatory of being a from single it seems like a nce nigla I would appreciate go on navigating amuna through pain and hurt and how to cling to amuna when one feels alone and hopeless I will say listening to your sh has helped me immensely through the last few weeks I want to share an amuna story that really jumped out at me after listening to your sheir last week and watching aam Burger come out of Gaza choosing the path of amuna all that construction is giving a lot of dust in here today it's a lot of dust you pass me those tissues thank you it's the construction Dusty very dusty okay so she ends with a very positive and amazing story I love the story that's why I shared this email I can't tell you how many emails I have are particularly from Singles navigating being single and struggling with the amuna and the ups and the down and the hope and disappointment and the trust and the wait and the Wonder and the why and the will it happen and the when and I I almost feel like we need to have a special sheer group learning we should we should get everybody I I we've tried we've tried to actually make some from getting some resumés I've had men who listen to theun who say could you connect me with whoever wrote that email and I'm waiting for the ultimate Am story of the that we make from the emails from the emails it'll happen it's gonna happen it's G to happen but let me finish this email so she says I want to share story really jumped out of me after listening to your she last week and watching a Berger come out of Gaza choosing the path of amuna I was riding the amuna wave of everything that happens for the best and everything's going to be great I just met a single friend for her 33r birthday she was also feeling quite down when I left I decided to take a cab because it was frigid outside riding from New York City as I was walking towards the street to get a cab I noticed that six open taxis with the light on driving by so I was confident I would F easily find one when I got to the street and started hailing a cab there were no available cabs to be seen I was about to get into my negative just my luck mindset when a cab with the light off stopped to pick me up with no passenger in the back I've been living in New York City for 31 years and never once a cab with the light off stopped for me that was empty R Goldberg this was a huge hug from Hashem I realized I think I know that I know all the guys out there at this point and I've dated almost everyone that could be from me but Hashem showed me that sometimes the light is off and you don't see them coming can send me the cab with the light off that is hiding or I just didn't see what do I know Hashem is capable of anything top it off the Cab's meter broke so he couldn't charge me for the ride and he told me it was free I gave cash anyway gave cash anyway medm but it's the principle that matters now I do not have my happy ending yet but I do know that Hashem loves me and I greatly appreciated his hug thank you again for the shum that allowed me to move my amuna cup so it does not turn to ice remember we talked about that keeping the amuna moving keeping the amuna hot keeping the fire of amuna going because if you live leave it and you let it sit still it's going to get cold it's gonna get cold it's going to congeal it's going to turn to ice so she invoked all the lingo and that touches my heart but we DAV for her and for her friend and for all who are waiting they should find their Basher okay we got to get to the learning but there's so many so many emails so many emails and they include a lot of questions and some some have wonderful happy endings the cab that came right at the time and the person was willing to give it for free and the message that had sent right when they needed it I was once with an older single coming back from a trip and we were waiting at the luggage at the conveyor belt in the airport and he turned to me and he said you know Ephraim dating is like waiting for your luggage you sit you wait and you're watching and they go around and you're looking is that mine is that mine and then you see one and you say I think that's mine and you take it off and you look a little closer and you realize that's not mine and you put it back and then you wait a little bit longer and you look for yours and you have hope that if you wait long enough eventually your suitcase is Gonna Come Oh my God so whether it's the cab or whether it's the suitcase hopefully you don't have to wait long at all and you're a VIP so yours comes off quickly and you find yours and you move on okay we're going to save these uh we have more emails keep sending them we're saving them we're going to keep I read everyone I read and respond to everyone so keep sending them as I say the exercise of writing it is so excuse me is so critically important for you I believe we're on Page in page 29 the bottom left hand column if I'm wrong don't correct me that's where I think we are we last left off is telling us the beautiful insight of the says to his grandchildren to his he gave a on that day says read it what was the that he gave them he gave them was be present be in that day get to the end of that day get to the end of that day get to the end of that day that's what we have to do whatever hardship or challenge you're going through in life get to the end of that day ah what's going to be in a week and a month and a year and a decade what's going to be you don't know you don't control it's not there yet all we have is today what do I need to do today when people are in crisis and as aov I'm involved in people's lives in crisis and one of the pieces of advice that I try to give is don't get lost in the future just focus on what do you have to do today what do appointment what followup what bill has to be paid what has to get done today today the biggest is the biggest is was actually last week's para we spoke about it the holy R and A Child show us this past week because when we panicked when we feared when we were stuck between the Rock and the hard place the midst from the Egyptians and the Sea and Hashem says Al Don't Be Afraid stand up firm stand up straight and you will see save you and the apost several times uses the word is going to save you today if you're present in this moment and you know what you have to do today that's the biggest get through today be in that moment now we're on the left hand column 29 later says has a brilliant estay called I think it was translated into English as well based on this Mam and request and seek and search Hashem M what does mam mean from there where can you find and where should you search hasem mam stuck behind the train in a hospital room with the canceled flight wherever you are on the IVF table to retrieve eggs wherever you are search for and look for wherever you are and we find this often that hashm is telling us how do you live with amuna by being present in the Moment by embrace your place you are where you're meant to be where you are ask why am I here here what am I meant to be doing yesterday somebody from Israel came to meet with me yesterday someone from Israel was in and met with me um a very special person who works for a incredible Jewish organization that is doing amazing things fores and he sees and meets very prominent people and goes to extraordinary places and shared with me that his life took him on an adventure to Mississippi to meet with a certain prominent person and he wondered why Hashem why am I taking two flights a two-hour Uber ride then a two-hour Uber ride back to take two more flights to meet with this person and he said out on it saying Hashem it's an adventure I'm on your your adventure so I wonder why and by the end of the day and he shared with me one of the things he wanted to meet with me about was to tell me he didn't write in an email he told me the amuna stories was who his Uber driver was and what came from that two-hour conversation and what happened from that meeting and the difference it made and we go on this adventure and when we do with our eyes and our ears open and our antenna extended and we're watching and listening and waiting to find out new hasem this is an adventure what's in store why was this canceled why is this on traffic why am I delayed why did you put me in this position why am I here why did I meet this person why am I sitting next to this one then we live just take that deep breath restore that with thata take that deep breath and ask today why am I where I am today where I am what am I meant to be doing we see this a lot of places hasem says see I've placed before you Hashem says I gave you today don't forfeit today because you're so stuck on yesterday or you're so focused on tomorrow there are so many people who lose the present moment they they forfeit their present and all we have is the present that's why it's a gift from Hashem that's why it's called the present yesterday is gone tomorrow's not yet here and the present is called the present because it's a gift from above it's a gift from Hashem it's called the present and how many people forfeit the present they lose the present because they're so focused so holding on so stuck in yesterday we spoke all about that the regret could have I should have why didn't I why did I and they're so stuck on their mistakes they're so stuck on their choices they're so stuck on their past that they're forfeiting they very present because they're so filled with remorse but said it's wickedness to be filled with regret to be so stuck on the past and the other half the population are so focused on the future what will be and I'm so nervous and I'm so anxious and I'm so worried and how will it turn out just go to sleep can't we talk about that tomorrow I'm saying theoretically about my neighbor can't we talk about that tomorrow what are you so worried about the future and what will be and how will it work out and should we and can we and will we okay just go to sleep get some sleep let's focus on right now Christopher reev Superman I've told this story before Superman who led the end of his life as a paraplegic because in an equestrian race he his horse fell on top of him and left him paralyzed for life he shared once what happened What was Superman's kryptonite what went wrong that left him paralyzed for life and he said he knew that in this particular race it was very difficult there were some very difficult jumps I don't know what they're called I I I don't ride horses there were some difficult jumps and he was very focused on a difficult jump that was coming up and that was not the hurdle or the jump that his horse tripped on fell on top of him and left him paralyzed which one was it it was the one before because the jump before he was already thinking about the next difficult one he took his mind off of that moment what he was doing and it cost him his movement it cost him his life he was paralyzed the rest of his life because he forfeited his present he wasn't he wasn't in every moment be focused on that moment often that moment is about planning for our future but that's what we're meant to do in that moment I'm not saying be Reckless and careless and don't care about the future you got to save money for the future future you got to buy life insurance and disability insurance and long-term care insurance for the future there are things that responsible people have to do for their future a Chua to buy insurance it's not lack of amuna to have insurance maybe we can learn that at one point buying insurance is not a lack of amuna it is an expression of amun's responsible thing to do and everyone should do it sometimes in the present is planning for our future but that's the way we're using the present don't forfeit you forfeit the present you could become paralyzed it could be the Kryptonite that brings Superman down another what do we need to know in order in order to return to know know how to live today know all these things that I'm commanding you one of the secrets the way we exercise the amuna muscle the way we put on the amuna glasses the way we live a life of amuna one of the ways that we do it is how be present be present it is the opposite of amuna to panic be anxious be worried be overly consumed with arrogance about my control needing to control the future all of that is the opposite of amuna amuna a manifestation expression of fulfillment of amuna is live in the present be present be present focus on the present I am yes I am where I meant to be embrace your place be in the present that's I got it I don't know what it's gonna be I don't know how it's going to turn out I don't know what the lab results are going to show all I know is today I've done today what I need to do today I'm focused on the end of today I'm focused on the why of why do I have so much blessing today why am I worthy why do I deserve it why Hashem why me when it comes to today tell you one more he doesn't have in here one more he doesn't have in here thear saned saned s hey somewhere in sanin tells a story of was walking in the market and he came across Elijah the prophet and he said to him when is mhia coming when is mhia coming so Elijah the prophet said to him ask him he's going to be in the market in this and this time in this and this place and he spends his day those with Saras those with Leprosy he's helping change their bandages you can find him changing their bandages don't ask me go ask him sh is ecstatic gonna meet mashiah I could ask him when he's coming everybody's waiting Redemption peace Serenity hostages home Soldiers with their family illness is healed but who doesn't want Messiah we want mashiach now you know everybody wants mhia not just the minion we all want mhia and we all want mashiah now whatever minion you go to so goes to that place in that time and he finds mashiah and he says msia says yes when are you coming he says today walks away skiing his step Mia's coming today today he'd be like the first to tweet it just met mhia just met mhia told me he's coming today I'm the first to announce it viral it's going to go viral the day ends no mashia no mashia didn't come we know that spoiler alert because he's still not here yet so Mia's not here goes to and he says what's the deal you told me to find him and ask him I did he said he'd come today and he didn't come today what's the deal said what did you what did he tell you so well I asked him when are you coming and he said said no you didn't understand he wasn't telling you he's coming today he was telling you how to bring him and the way to bring him the way to bring him is of every year if every Jew will start living H be present in that day make the most of that day live every day to its fullest live every day with amuna that's when he's going to come why was he in the market changing the bandages because that's something that you're present you do one by one you're fully invested fully mindful fully present mashia knows how to live ha in that moment in that day and what he was telling you was not when he's coming what he was telling you was the secret to how to bring him how do you live a life of how do you live with on that day wherever we are in that moment don't say when I retire I'll learn I'll go to sh I'll DAV I'll have amuna when I recover from this illness then I'll have amuna when I have enough money in the bank I'll have amuna when I can switch out this spouse for version 2.0 I'll have amuna when I kids my kids grow up and they stop annoying me and waking me up in the middle of the night I'll have am I'll have time no wherever you are whatever circumstance you're in wherever life has you right now from there from that place you could lean in and find him you can and need to what else what other the choice is there everything is on Turn the Page and Page L page 30 this is what our RAB asked why didn't oh I love it I absolutely love it when amuna and um when amuna and para come together so we just read in last week's para we're continuing to read now about the miracle of the man the miracle of the man falling so why did has make the M fall only once Why didn't it fall once a year there was a king and he gave his son enough money enough Provisions enough resources enough food for the whole year so how often did he see his son once a year so he said we're switching it up you come every day and I'll give you the food for the day come every day I'll give you allowance for the day how often did he see his son every day by making the mudf every day and you couldn't if you didn't take it in for that day it melted in the sun if you tried to freeze it Jews love to freeze things yes does this freeze can you freeze this did you know that I just learned did you know and it's delicious that you can freeze Muddy Buddies do you know what Muddy Buddies are did you know you can freeze them they're fantastic fantastic check mix covered in sugar and chocolate really good for you don't put it on your spreadsheet that you ate it it doesn't go on the spreadsheet did you know you could freeze money buddies there was a point earlier in our marriage on Mo shabas with the I was worried I was going to get put in the freezer if I didn't move quickly enough I was gonna get Frozen for the future so the M you couldn't freeze said if you try to take the m and put it in the freezer for later leftovers it melted it spoiled it was no good mun was not like Muddy Buddies you couldn't fre you think you came for the Amir and a decal for your windshield you all just learned about Muddy Buddies got to make Muddy Buddies or you could do it the oldfashioned way you could just order them online delicious I don't remember somebody just got us as a gift some buckets of these muddy they're an evil cruel person because these things are so good and you just dive right into the bucket of the Muddy Buddies that's why you got to put them in the freezer anyway so the M spoiled you couldn't freeze it why why did Hashem only make enough fall for that day you know why because every night you went to sleep you had to say to Hashem please let the mthf fall again tomorrow I don't feel secure you can't go to Costco and stock up on mun you can't go by Costco size there's no BOGO on man you can't get a coupon there's no cabinet there's no you can't stock up on M on M why did Hashem do that because he wants to hear from us every day so it's an entirely different perspective when when you feel there's something missing whether and I'm going to say this with sensitivity and love and and and prayer whether it's the missing of a child or the missing of a spouse or the missing of the money to pay the bills this month or the missing of what you need to finish your campus or whatever is missing instead of being bitter resentful negative and Afraid say Hashem you're doing this so I reach out to you you're making my M fall once a day you're making me not know if it's going to fall tomorrow so that I turn and lean in and connect and come closer and I realize you're not doing it because you hate me or to hurt me you're doing it because you love me and you want to hear from me now there's only so many days in a row I know someone's gonna write this email there's only so many days in a row that you can say I know you want to hear from me you keep hearing from me now can you make my M fall and I'm with you and I'm protesting Hashem with you and I'm daving with you and I'm begging him with you and I'm telling you this is no good with you I'm with you we're demonstrating and we're protesting and we're doing I'm with you but for all of us certainly when it comes to the smaller less more insignificant inconsequential things in life than a spouse and a baby and the bills we should transform and pivot from where are you and how could you and why is this happening to oh I get it you want to hear from me in this moment you're holding back like the king who says to the son you got to come daily to get your food because I want to hear from you like the kid you sent to Israel for the year that you give the debit card instead of the credit card because you want them to call to say I need you to put more money on the debit card because it happens to be I'm very blessed I hear from my children every day with without it we talk often so I don't want my children to think I'm talking about them but I know people that if they didn't use a debit card and have to put money on it they'd never hear from their children so if the m is our lives right we eat the on shabas why do you have two kalas Friday night two Kal shabas day and preferably two kala Kal rolls at shal because we're commemorating the double portion that fell on Friday of the M every week we remember the m and the M Falls for us because every time you get a paycheck the m just fell every time you run your credit card through the machine at the store and it says approved you could remove it the m just fell every time you look in your bank account and there's something in it it's not in the red the m just fell the m just fell and even a person who feels I have plenty I have so much I have so much in my in my bank account I have so much that's there I remember this goes back many years but one of our friends who used to live here she moved she had fantastic dating stories she had a great attitude she did it for a long time but she had some really funny stories from her dating and and she had a great attitude about it so she told us about one guy she went out with who spent the whole dat talking about money you could make money with this you can invest with that and here's the best place to put it and there's the biggest return on it and she was so frustrated she was at a stage and phase of life and she still is of so realizing it wasn't for her she decided she'd give him a little bit of muser and she'd said you know Hashem gives and Hashem takes away and Hashem decides and determines how much we have he said you're right but if you put it in a bond or a CD nobody could touch it nobody could touch it not even Hashem remember that so we are supposed to no matter how much you have in the bank no matter where you put it we need to know and we need to realize that it's all from Hashem it's all from Hashem and by the way he could take it away not in the money because you could put it in a bond or a CD it's guarantee and the warranty and it's backed by the government but you know if he takes things that you can't have a guarantee or warranty like your health he could take things that you don't you know you don't know I was just talking to somebody who works at prageru then is Prager on top of the world speaks to millions of people incredible and he had a terrible accident a few months ago I understand he's recovering and on a path to AA but he just got off the intubation he was he was terribly terribly sick and Ill broke many bones in his body because a terrible accident that he fell a person could be going through life on top of the world all the followers all the fame all the influence all the different you're making and a little accident unanticipated leaves you changed forever Superman Christopher reev in one moment paralyzed from the neck down life has changed forever when we realize how fragile how vulnerable on the days that we can walk and we're healthy and we can breathe you say why Hashem why me why do I deserve such Braha why do I deserve such Health why do I deserve things going so right we should say why me on those days so the M fell every day because every day we should ask ourselves why me why do I deserve this m why do I have money in my bank account why can I pay my bills why do I have my health why do I have everything so wonderfully invokes from our benching the language in benching will end with this never make me never make me rely on handouts from other people let me always be in your hands your generous and gracious hands never rely on ourselves never credit ourselves never lean or rely on others realize we are always in the hands of Hashem every day why me why do I have such Why do I have such so we all have this opportunity I'm not trying to compete who can make the first bumper sticker for that right it's the next decal for our for our windshield or for our phone case or for our laptop but every day we should wake up and ask ourselves question mark are we choosing the path of amuna or are we choosing the path of panic are we choosing the path of pleasure are we choosing the path of is it whatever's going on whatever we got to navigate whatever we're trying to figure out whatever's going right whatever is going wrong I want to show of us we should hear good news today should all have only Simas and share Simas with one another today and every day hostages should come home we should be blessed with only the best of everything and all those waiting to have children should have healthy children all those pregnant with children should have easy and healthy labors all those waiting for the Basher should find their spouse we should share many many Simas together have a great day come get your