Living With Emunah (Part 332) - Measure & Manage Your Emunah

okay good morning Boer to welcome back to living with amuna so good to be back in person last week we broadcast from London I love London it's lovely but I love bokeh and my bed and my family even more so it's good to be back with my amuna people thank you so much for coming amuna series is jally sponsored by Dr zav and Bella Morgan memory of Dr Brian galit and in memory of B's mother Dr ER Shan sponsor this morning also by the Sadowski family leas RAB g s and by Carol the memory of her mother and alah where's Carol there she is my David block and gratitude for and loving memory of his parents Baya and Roy BL May their beautiful nishas have an Aliyah thank you to all of our generous sponsors very very grateful grateful to have my family back and at Tara special shout out we'll find out if you're actually really listening live right now okay we have some great amuna emails before we get to the amuna emails a reminder we've got some merch available right after everyone take one if you haven't taken one yet it's a late Kaneka present early birthday present early afikoman present take one there's a iPad in the lobby if you want to make a donation of any amount to make you feel better about taking one feel free take it for yourself take for others we're going to continue to give away some of the merch we produce caffeinate with cavana we got the Disposable cups I use every single morning reminds you to make a to caffeinate with cavana SH everything not just the coffee last Friday we all remembered how important coffee is was a the fast de so uh not just the coffee is made with God's word but the Ambiance the world every part of what it took to make that coffee and get it to us and the difference that coffee makes it's happy to tell you that our Dash our windshield stickers and luggage tags are on its way we ordered them so we'll have them to you soon that we are where we are meant to be so very excited to share that as well let's start with some emails then we'll get back into our Torah text I I got a a if I tell you the thick pile of emails every email I read every email I respond to and every email inspires me every email touches me everyone who takes the time I want to apologize I I could get to all the emails then we'll never learn Torah we'll just get together every week and read emails which may be very worthwhile because it's a very high level of Torah to see the people practicing and putting into place the actual amuna but even if I don't read it I'm inspired by it and I would argue further even if I don't read it it's worthwhile to write it because the exercise of putting down I would say pen to paper but no one knows how to do that anymore fingers to keyboard that exercise of articulating and capturing and communicating a moment that you felt a wink a nod a hug from Hashem is very very valuable anyway but I'm gon to try to read a bunch of them then we'll get into the text hi Rabbi I just want to share with you in wi a moment I experienced yesterday many things have gone wrong that morning I was feeling an overload as I headed to my doctor appointment I arrived at the office and there was a young man in a wheelchair who suffered with some formation he looked at me with a big smile and said hello I answered him back with a big smile and a hello and continued to speak I put everything in perspective in that moment thought of my amuna class and knew I was there I was where I was supposed to be thank you for the class that has made a difference in my life sometimes when we look around and we see the plight of others we can put into perspective whatever it is that we're going through and feel a little bit better about it ourselves I got this from a friend of mine and I love this he actually doesn't he didn't email to me he sent it to me as a WhatsApp and I just took a screenshot and and printed it for myself a story this week Tuesday we went to Lakewood for a wedding and we planned on going to a second wedding that we had in Lakewood we arrived to the second wedding and it isn't that wedding apparently on the Hebrew side of the invitation they forgot to write orim and wrote instead y gim When we arrive to the hall we see it's a cousin's wedding that apparently the invitation got lost it's an amazing story amazing Story the invitation was confusing so they went and it was the wrong wedding but it was really the right wedding because it was the wedding of a cousin whose invitation got lost a wink a nod a hug from Hashem there are no coincidences everything is for a reason and while these emails are lovely and we love them they're not my favorite because you know it's easy to have a it's easy to submit an email when everything works out and everything goes right and everything came together and isn't hasem amazing but it's when it doesn't that it's not as easy go hope well I'm a big fan of the listen religiously blah blah blah when I was listening to living with Amun this week I got to the end and heard you mention you'll be away this week and not be giving the shear this was two weeks ago normally I wouldn't pay close attention to the end as the announcements don't pertain to me I'm in New York but this week I was disappointed to hear since I'm coming to bokeh for my winter break and I plan to come to the par perspective and live with auna I've been looking forward for weeks was very excited anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge fan I quoted you a lot my this past summer and there been on my bu list to come hear your shum in person and although I'm disappointed I won't be able to check this off my bucket list on this trip to bokeh I'm trying to live with Amun and I know that is what is meant to be for whatever reason I do not understand hashm does not want me to meet you and be able to hear your shiram in person this time I know why it's because she can only be disappointed if she did thank you thank you so much for the inspiration blah blah blah anyway so I feel bad you're invited come down come back anytime we'd love to have you we'd love to have you this is an email from my dear friend Rabbi Leo d Leo who you remember before October 7th the horrific tragedy on P when his wife Lucy and two of his daughters were brutally murdered by a terrorist and at the funeral R spoke about living with amuna and the themes and the Shir and the energy and the it gives him and he's done nothing but inspire me since then we we forged a close friendship so he sent anuna email just want to share the following with you overa I took the kids to the Dead Sea for a few few days we did a couple of my favorite walks on the Monday it was Maya's birthday and we all felt a little low there's a hike I used to do with Lucy in the good old days which starts halfway up the road to Arad about a 20- minute drive from the hotels you park the car and walk a beautiful two-hour hike back down the mountain to the hotel only problem is retrieving the car in the past I've never had luck tramping so I ordered a taxi from a ride takes an hour to arrive they charge you the full 200 check off fair to the car but this time as we arrived at the small car park which I was just in London so I can tell you means parking lot at the bottom of the hike there was a single taxi just about to leave I asked the driver if I could pay him to take me to the car but he insisted to take me for free without recognizing me despite the fact that he and his brother sitting in the front next to him were headed the other direction it was a 40-minute diversion for them we got talking and he asked me what I do and I told him my story he said he was in shock he and his brother had been born in the yeshu of amra where the terror attack took place against my wife Lucy and daughters Maya and Reena he knew the story intimately and felt honored to be helping me out I've never had a taxi take me anywhere for free ever and this would have been Maya's 22nd birthday I felt her hand in this somehow and it gave us all and hashem's hand in this as in with everything oh my love Leo so on that birthday just when he needed it a little wink a little hug a little something from Hashem wasn't just a taxi driver and it wasn't just for free but he was from that Community where the terror attack took place and he knew about it and he knew about it well so those are lovely seeming coincidences that are actually the hand of hem but then there are the emails of the people who things don't go as easily or as or as well where things are challenging and things struggle oh my godness there are so many here um these are all still going well we're going to save them they're good and I appreciate them all where is the one sorry um okay yes this is it I hope you and your family are doing well first and foremost thank you for the inspiring words blah blah blah I really enjoy listen say not an email describing as moment or a great story describing my and how I sawm saying I look for y in my everyday life and I can find those small hugs and Winks Fromm when things don't work out I'm training myself in getting better and knowing it all comes from the one above I'm writing to you because I'm struggling I am such and such age and having such a heart time in I know I'm still considered young but I don't feel that way I want so badly to get married and start building a home with someone I want to have children and create a home that is deeply connected to Hashem I just ended things with a guy I thought might go somewhere but ultimately I gained Clarity he wasn't the one for me yet I have never felt so lonely and sad I'm at a low point where I have felt like this where I haven't felt like this before I have friends and family around me and a good support system I regularly turned to hasm for support and guidance and talk to him I ask why are you doing this to me I'm your daughter I yell and scream Hashem don't you want this for me wouldn't a father do anything for his precious daughter I want to go up to hem Shake him and beg him I cry so much pleading with him to listen to me I want to bring Sim to my family I've been waiting so long and sometimes I feel like maybe it won't happen I don't know why Hashem feels this isn't the right time for me but I trust that when it happens it will solely be because of him you always say in the she let go and let God but I'm having such a hard time letting go and letting God because I am so so sad and so she asked can sadness and amuna go hand in hand I thought I had amuna and beem I do trust him but I feel sad and angry and am I really trusting in hashem's Greater plan for me it doesn't seem like There's Hope but deep down I know there is because I know I'm where I meant to be this place I'm in is so hard people will tell me make the most of the place the time and the age that you're in but all I want is to be somewhere else I know this is where I'm meant to be I know Hashem loves me I know he'll provide for me when the time is right right and I know that if I'm not meant to get married that is also from him I'm just so sad can sadness and amuna and Hashem live side by side thank you for the support and advice you give in every sheer that is not a happy ending everything works out everything comes together all is good that is raw and that is real and that is how many of us here and listening sometimes feel even if not always at times when there's something we so desperately want and don't have and so I want to address it for a moment I want to address it for a moment is sadness sadness and amuna are they a contradiction so the answer is I just kicked the camera now the answer is no they're not a contradiction at all they're not a contradiction at all I I don't even know what number we're up to how to find the other shur they're not indexed that would be a great thing to know what we spoke about where but in one of them we read the letter R an article a great of R wrote where he spoke about leaving a sh with r rash had lost his wife who thought his job to demonstrate that he has auna is to be happy even while he is in mourning and to say it's all from Hashem and I'm suy I had her when I had her and I have no sadness or grief because it's all from Hashem and R turned to after they left and said this great rash sha is going to crash and burn because to deny and suppress natural and normal feelings we have is not a demonstration and expression of amuna it is a recipe for disaster for disaster if a person hurts themselves if a person stubs their toe and breaks it and is an Agony from a broken toe amuna doesn't mean let me now pretend I'm not in pain let me put on a smile and let me tell everyone no it doesn't hurt and let me not go to a doctor let me say my toe is where it's meant to be not anyone in particular right last last Friday uh two Fridays ago my my children who live in Hollywood went to Miami for a Simka and got there right before shabas to discover they had left their luggage back in Hollywood they were trying to figure out what to do their children their shabus clothing and everything they needed so I put a spin on our normal teaching I said not you are where you're meant to be your luggage is where it's meant to be which was easy for me to say because I had everything I needed but sometimes it's not that we we were meant to be it's our luggage is where it is meant to be and it may not be with us our toe may not be where it's meant to be correctly positioned at the end of our foot working but amuna doesn't mean that you when something hurts you pretend you're not in pain amuna doesn't mean when someone is taken from you you pretend you're not grieving amuna doesn't mean when something legitimately is a reason to feel sad you don't feel sad what gives you is the strength and the faith and the hope and the resolve and the tenacity to get through it nonetheless to keep going with the sadness to break out of the sadness to be able to feel the sadness but simultaneously be uplifted by the joy and the knowledge that nothing is random and nothing is chance and nothing is coincidence and nothing is accidental but even this sadness is curated and choreographed from above and so while on the the one hand on the one hand there's a sadness or the pain of what's missing or what hurts but there's also the joy or the happiness that it was done by Design if a person comes out of a surgery where they needed something fixed and they have the excellent best doctor because that's only what what Jews only do and the doctor says the surgery went according to plan and I have good news for you please God you're going to have a full and a speedy recovery you're going to recover all your faculties everything's going to work out on the one hand you're drowsy still coming out of anesthesia whatever it is that you had surgery on herts but you could smile with the pain because you know everything went right this wasn't random that someone just stabbed you with a knife you were cut open by a surgeon for the purpose of healing you and so yes it hurts but the fact that you could make sense of the hurt and it happens in a framework and against a backdrop of meaning and purpose and it makes sense can help you smile your way through the pain Have Faith and Hope through the agony understand this meaning and purpose even in the pain even in the grief even in the grief it's confirmed that Tara is listening even in the even in the grief even in the grief so no sign sadness and amuna are not a contradiction we try to break out of the sadness writes extensively in his writings about how sadness is the Kryptonite sadness is what will corrupt us sadness is the poison that brings us down sadness is when the Yahara can strike sadness is when we become hopeless and helpless and a person has to be a person has to be we have to break says through we could break out and break free of whatever situation or whatever is holding us back it's with with joy that we're going to break out so this email really spoke to me because I feel I feel that pain we don't normally take questions or comments but we make exceptions people are related to me I was just wondering in like the P writing he writ about you could be like angry at hasem and you're like supposed like that shows that you believe inem but if you're angry then you're also saying like his plan for me isn't what I want so it's it's kind of it feels like it's a lack of a Muna but it also like shows that you believe hasem so much so I want to contrast that's a great question toar is asking others we've spoken about anger is not actually denying Hashem anger is an expression of faith in Hashem you're not angry at someone that you don't believe exists you're not angry at a figurin of your imagination the very expression of anger is because you're not angry at a stranger on the street that you never met you say why didn't you help me why didn't you do this thing for me why didn't you give me money but a parent or a sibling or a spouse or someone that you had expectations from is what you feel feel disappointment in so anger we got to use the right word because anger is never a a good quality but expressing frustration disappointment I'll call it protesting Hashem is a demonstration and expression an affirmation you believe in Hashem Abu did it he said God don't destroy Stone what if there are 50 45 40 30 20 10 sadik how could you do it MOS said it God show me your face I want to understand why bad things happen to good people I can't take it anymore why another diagnosis why the loss of more precious holy soldiers how why I'm protesting I'm demonstrating God not in Tel Aviv orim against a politician I'm demonstrating against you every time we get together and have a tum rally it is you may not think of it this way it is a demonstration against God it's a demonstration I should say to God Hashem we're not indifferent or apathetic we're not callous or passive we are here to demonstrate we're here to protest we're here to ask you to change your policy we're here to ask you to Grant thatu to let her get married to let him have a baby to give her a job we're here every time we do it's a form of a demonstration or a protest isn't it and that's not a denial of hashem's existence that's not a form of heresy or even of it's what's called Kad it is a holy it's a holy it's the holy has not only do I know you exist and believe you exist I know you're in charge and you're in control and you can turn this around and why aren't you and in the end if you say no as he did to aam and to Moshe then we will accept we will surrender we will submit to your will this protest and demonstration is not an excuse to walk away it's a attempt to draw closer to lean in but we are going to demonstrate and protest that's what F that's what prayer are really a really all about that's a little bit different from sadness but I want to contrast it when I was in England I had a conversation I had a meeting with somebody who went through a certain very very difficult time a young mother who divorced whatever the circumstances for whatever reason very quickly was left with a a a little baby couple months old and by herself she shared that she has worked so hard I was really startled by this she had worked so hard on amuno you are where you're meant to be this is hashem's plan there's no sh or guilt this is her life right now she's accepted that and is leaning into that and that's her life that's where Hashem wants her to be she said now some time has passed and I'm having trouble davening to get remarried I'm having trouble daving to move on to the next stage because I have such amuna I worked so hard to accept this is hashem's will this is his plan this is where I meant to be so if he decided this is where I'm meant to be why am I trying to be somewhere else if this is what I've been saying to him I accept it thank you I accept it this is where I meant to be then why am I going to now start asking him please put me somewhere else if this is where I meant to be wow wow that's auna to the extreme and that's what I answered that's auna to the extreme Hashem doesn't want you to have auna in him to the point that you're paralyzed you don't say God forbid when you suffer an illness that I am where I meant to be I won't go to the doctor I won't take the med medication I won't ask you Hashem to heal me because after all getting this illness is where I meant to be no you say as I take the initiative to overturn it overcome it to heal from it at each stage of the journey and attempt to heal from it I accept I am where I meant to be after I put in all my initiative after I make all my effort after I do everything I can do I am where I meant to be but never I am where I meant to be to the point that I forfeit and forfeit and surrender any initiative trying to impact my situation we don't say you know I have no money I have no livelihood I have no income I am where I meant to be I will sit on the curb by myself and if Hashem wants someone will drop off a brown paper bag filled with cash you say the biggest schoa for parasa is having a job you have to take initiative you have to make an effort you have to do AAS you have to you have to try to have a job clients customers make an income and whatever your salary ends up being that is that was determined from Hashem so on the one hand you can't live an extreme version of an amuna that paralyzes you from taking initiative it's that balance that yin-yang remember what Hashem says which we're about to get into in the text when we stood opposite the sea with the Egyptians chasing us in the rear and and did what we would expect them to do what we would think they were trained to do what you would think mosh would give them a round of applause and tell them such I'm so proud of you you've learned what did they do they started daving and what does Hashem do what does Hashem say what are you doing what are you ding start walking start walking what are you doing the Egyptians are right behind you you stand here and have a tum rally right now they're going to kill you are shooting at the IDF the IDF don't all say let's take out our tum let's start davening what are you doing put theum back in your pocket it's incredible that you carry them in your uniform and you sa them when you are safe but right now fire back eliminate them take them out Hashem says stop daving and start walking so he wants us to take initiative initiative is amuna with our feet to is amuna with our mouths initi with our feet be his partner you can't ask him to do things to help you if you don't help yourself we have to help our El if we want him to help us so he's waiting to say to see do we take amuna do we show amuna with our feet and our hands are we showing initiative are we making an effort are we maximizing that effort and coupling the effort with the faith in him and the two in combination hopefully bring in that result so amuna can't be to the extreme that we become paralyzed but amuna also can't be in a way that denies how we really feel if a person loses a loved one Hashem expects you to feel grief and the ram writes an of a mourner Who doesn't feel grief is Anar it's cruelty it's cruel to lose a loved one and not be sad is as if that loved one meant nothing and they never lived and you don't feel the impact of their loss and you know what that is that's downright cruel so to mourn and not feel grief bereavement sadness that's not amuna that's cruel that's cruel to break your toe and not scream ow that hurts I'm in pain is to deny and suppress a real and a true feeling and that's not going to help you it's to say I'm going to try to I'm going to try to reflect and introspect and identify why hashm wanted me to break my toe what is it about my footsteps my journey my life what do I need to learn why did I break my toe but yeah it hurts that I'm taking pain medication and I went to the doctor to treat it and ow yeah it hurts I'm not going to pretend to doesn't so when there's sadness try to break out we're trying to break out out of the sadness sadness says it's the Kryptonite it holds us back it brings us down it closes doors and windows it blocks out the light sadness is something which is very harsh and harmful but if we feel it experience it lean into it for a moment and then break out of it when the sadness comes don't pretend it's not there and don't drive it away experience it feel it and then break out of it it's not a contradiction to okay back to what we're learning the we're the how to acquire amuna in our lives we talked about amuna doesn't come accidentally Amun is not something that you can download and is not some an ejection that you can take Hal it was even though they're now making all kinds of things that help us overcome our Yar and help us in the physical world shape ourselves into the physical people we want to be Hali we would come up with a injection a drug a medication which would just inject tuna into our veins we could inject faith into our into our bodies but we don't it requires requires effort you got to work out thosea muscles for them to grow and for them to not atrophy for them to remain strong we're on the bottom right paragraph page gim we started this last time that this is the question we are asked when we Ascend on high in the next World the the asks us did you do business Faithfully we mentioned we're being asked this literally were you honest in business was your word your bond did you follow through did you mark it accurately or did you distort did you exaggerate were you fair did you pay on time did you report your taxes honestly were you honest in business that's the first question we get asked when we get upstairs you see what's important and what matters to Hashem and what really defines us no matter how hard we Shuckle no matter how modest we dress no matter how many T and we say if we cut corners and we're dishonest in business we're gonna have the price to pay we're gonna have struggle answering that question and that's the simple understanding of of that question but says not everybody's in business so when he asked me were you honest in business I wasn't in business so what does that question mean for us what it means he says is the following not did you do business Faithfully did you treat your faithfulness like a business did you treat Faith faithfulness amuna like a business what does that mean anyone in this room who owns their own business whose family owns a business knows your identity is intertwined with that business when you're falling asleep when you're in the shower when you're driving the car when you're going for a walk you're thinking about my customers my clients my marketing my bottom line my my profit and loss my Revenue my team my staff my you're living you're breathing you're thinking you have your team and your staff meetings you do your quarterly evaluations you have your annual reporting it's all part of the business it's part of your Consciousness it's part of your life it's on your mind all the time and you're constantly evaluating re-evaluating setting goals measuring against the goals that's what it means to have a business whether it's a Mak whether it's a fortune 400 500 company that's what it means to have a business says that's the question we get asked when we come upstairs hasem says you're did you treat it like a business was it on your mind all the time did you set goals and did you measure whether you met them or came up short did you quarterly and annually meet with your team your friends your spouse your family and say how's your Nish how's your amuna are we practicing what we preach are we putting in action what we're learning where are we with our amuna how could we be better says it's similar it's a mush a parable to a cup of water found in a cold place I don't know um where's the cold place Calgary where name a alas Alaska if you take a cup of water outside in Alaska and you leave it outside unattended to what will happen to the cup of water fairly quickly it will become a a cup of ice what do you need to do in order for it to not become ice you got to be moving it around if you swish it it won't become ice it won't congeal it won't freeze over similarly Aruna our faith if you're not engaging it if you're not swishing it around if you're not working it it will freeze over very quickly every amuna every amuna book you read every amuna what's group you sign up for every alert every every story every conversation every WhatsApp group if you let it sit for too long if you're not putting it into practice if you're not thinking about it if you're not writing literally or figuratively your next email to us or just to cyberspace to capture seeing and feeling the hug the wink the hug from Hashem then it will it will ice over it will freeze over so whether the muscle is am is a muscle that if you don't work at it atrophies which you know is is true several years ago I tore my achilles I had to have surgery was miserable see I'm not afraid to admit it hurt and it was miserable and that it was from hasem he meant for me to tear my achilles I think I wrote a whole article about the Achilles heel where did that expression come from someone's at the weak spot the Achilles heel and the Achilles and where we learned it from first drush I gave after the surgery I had to lean on my knee scooter so I finished the drush I said it was a short drer maybe the short first they ever gave because it was hard to give I said that's enough on one foot anyway okay whatever made the most of it anyway so um so after I was in uh the surgery was in a cast for a long time and then a boot for a long time and then it was time to start months in it was time to start Rehab on that leg that the Achilles was torn and was repaired on and when the cast and the boot came off and I saw in the mirror the back of both of my legs my right leg that the Achilles had torn that I hadn't used at all because when I cast in a boot my entire calf muscle the whole leg was was much smaller than the other leg you may have seen it you may have experienced it if you have a muscle that you don't use and you don't work out if you've been in a cast or patients who are in a bed for a prolonged period of Time how quickly those muscles atrophy and they disappear if you don't use them you lose them if you don't engage them and work them out they're gone and the same is true for amuna it is a muscle it's a muscle and the same way that the muscle how does the muscle grow when I started that rehab and since then you try to exercise workout you try to be healthy how does a muscle grow what makes a muscle grow anyone know it's pretty wild when you lift a weight whether you use your own body weight or you lift weights how does a muscle grow it tears when you challenge the muscle it has micro tears in the muscle and the micro tears the recovery of the micro tear in the muscle is what makes the muscle grow it's the micro tears we have in life and the micro tear could be and I don't mean to minimize this but I bless all of us this should be our biggest micro tear you wanted to go see someone live for their sheer and it turns out they were out of town which I don't mean to minimize that is a huge tragedy to not meet me just joking it's not a tragedy at all but that's a micro tear to the bigger tears of living with sadness and having your hope and your dream squashed and waiting for the thing that you want so badly but those tears micro or larger will build our amuna muscle larger and stronger and stronger if you don't move the cup of water called amuna it will freeze over our amuna our faith our aod our service our life of awareness and consciousness of Hashem in it our feeling that we are what we're meant to be and Hashem there's a purpose and a mission if we don't revisit and we don't have that vocabulary and that doesn't become our conversation it will freeze over it will freeze over over you see it a girl comes back from Seminary she's on fire is amazing andm is everywhere hm wants this from me it's where hm wants me and hm hasm hasem hasem or a boy from Yeshiva let's say and they talk that language and if it's not continued if it's not nourished if it's not fed then it's going to disappear how many a month six months a year later that language that vocabulary that feeling that Consciousness that energy that enthusiasm it's gone because if the cup isn't swished around if you don't engage it and keep it moving it will freeze over it will freeze over if that muscle is not used it will disappear it will atrophy it will get much smaller and weaker to stay strong to grow it has to be nourished it has to be nurtured it has to be fed it has to be challenged so it can have its micro tears and in its recovery it will grow and it will grow it will go stronger tonight I'm bu the beima you'll hear we interview Rabbi David Aaron he's written incredible books transformational books and a lot of his perspective I don't want to give it away but he talks about he didn't grow up observing or with a with a Jewish Education but he did grow up in the home of a holocaust Survivor and much of his image of God was a punishing God an Angry God a God who makes us live with and feel guilt the Holocaust and death he talks about Judaism needs a major brand overall overhaul because when you talk about Christianity you think about love and acceptance and forgiveness you think about Buddhism you think about mindfulness and spirituality and when you say Judaism you think guilt and anger and Punishment and Holocaust and loss and that's not what we are and who we are that's what he's dedicated his life to and it's well worth listening to him it's very inspiring and it's very spiritual but he talks about I think he quoted RAB tski shomi said to a room full of people and we can try it here right now we could try it here right now who after something coming together in the happiest most amazing most successful way had an enormous spiritual growth spurt from it who became changed who grew spiritually because something went right who grew spiritually who had a major growth spurt who grew because they had a challenge in their life they went through a difficulty a pain a challenging time okay no one's raising their hand to either but I'm going to guess many okay good so you all raised your hand for the second and not the first your muscle doesn't grow when you lie on the couch reading mishak sipping your coffee your muscles don't grow your muscles grow when you challenge them when you challenge them that's when your muscles grow that's when they get bigger that's when they get bigger and coming back to this n to treat our amuna like a business to track it you've heard me quote many times Peter Ducker the great management Guru who said what gets measured gets managed what my friend Michael says gets measured and gets recorded gets managed I will say not to show off at all and at the risk that I'm going to be in trouble later I decided several months ago to create my own spreadsheet that no one else in the world has access to just to track certain things that for years I've been telling myself I need to improve in my life we're not honest with ourselves about how much sleep we get what time we went to sleep time we woke up how much sleep we got We complain we're exhausted all the time we don't get enough sleep but we don't actually look in the mirror to measure and evaluate when we could have gone to sleep when we really went to sleep and how much sleep we got and on the list of things I said I want to do is every morning when I wake up I want to do some sit-ups and push-ups because it's not hard you don't need to go to a gym you don't need a trainer you don't even need weights your own body weight and your muscles and your joints as you get older of which I'm now heading towards that category of the back nine of life I hope the back nine of life one of my children said to me recently as I observed a significant Milestone birthday how do you feel to be halfway through your life said I hope I'm halfway through my life because I hope I'll live to double this age which is not a given but which is and Beyond and Beyond but if you make it to that you're well ahead it's amazing so I created this spreadsheet and it has several columns and I'm not telling you what's in all of them but I started out and to wake up and do push-ups and sit-ups in the morning and if you haven't done them for a long time you may not be able to do many but I want to tell you the most amazing thing without trying every now and then when I was doing the same amount I started with I'd realize I could keep going why am I stopping just because I decided in my head this is the number that I do and then I would do more than that and then that next week or a week later I'd say you know why am I stopping now just because I decide that's the number I can do you know so I start started out from being able to do 10 at a time to 35 at a time and and more and I'm not showing off a little bit I'm showing off I'm not sh off believe me it's not it's not impressive my point is none of it would happen and you know again I'm I've been known to be a little bit competitive so even when I'm exhausted or flew or didn't have time or wherever it is there's no way I'm not going to put a check in that column on my spreadsheet even though no one else in the world sees it that I didn't do those and even when it's less than the number I say I can get to and I just want to stop because I don't feel like still doing it there's no way the competitive me is not going to track whatever we measure and record we manage and if we do that for our business which naturally people do otherwise they won't be in business very long we should be doing for our physical health and we should be doing for our spiritual health to measure our amuna that's what WhatsApp group does that's what hisus is hisus setting aside time each day to be in conversation with Hashem and with us our eles and to ask ourselves and maybe even record their journals that people can report record gratitude journals Hashem here are three things I'm grateful for today that I see you in my life that is tracking amuna that Isa I'm treating my amuna like a business the same way in my business I have a controller a CFO same way in my business I have the SE Suite of people who are managing and measuring setting goals having reviews do we do that with our amuna do we do that with Aruna do we make an effort to track to record do I see you in my life what are things I'm grateful for what are things I'm demonstrating and protesting about do I record the hug and the wink from Hashem do I look back will I leave my children will I leave a legacy that I have a journal and I have a life of finding and identifying and feeling Hashem in it in my day that I'm never stuck I am where I meant to be my luggage is where it's meant to be my toe is where it was meant to be that everything is where it's meant to be that's the attitude we have to bring because if we don't then I'll still be talking about one day I want to do push-ups in itas when I wake up but if you don't record it and measure it manage it you'll still be talking about it you'll never be doing it and we can do this in accountability Partners you could do it with a friend you could do it with a little kabura a small group of people could do it some with a spouse with family members but to really say this is my year going to break out we're going to radically change I'm going to improve I'm going to redefine myself I'm going to Rebrand myself a yish kite that's not about guilt and shame and fear and Punishment and apology and Holocaust and only October 7th it's going to be a yish kite that's vibrant and alive and dynamic of a hug and a wink and a love and a passion and a faith and a hope in Hashem I'll tell you who's showing this the most is our precious holy IDF soldiers who while the rest of the world are angry and bitter and frustrated and mourning and grieving and sad and wondering where is God and these soldiers not all and not all the time I'm sure but those I'm related to and many of the videos that we see and members of our community who are so courageously and heroically serving you see them sing and talk and they're learning and they're making suim someone who used to live in our community his son was just that RAB Ali stefansky who famous da what's it called uh remember s's da he called him to the front and he said Is it true that you were listening to the DA he said yeah eight guys in my unit we listen every day to the DA said how manyas did you finish together and he says how manyas it was and he said how did you do it he said we had one gar and we passed it around and each of us learn the daf every day in Gaza in Gaza in Gaza wow that's unbelievable that is unbelievable that's we those are the Yuna spots that we attach ourselves to to get a highp speeded connection when we're feeling sad when we're feeling out of it when we're wondering where he is attach yourself to The Hot Spot called these holy precious soldiers I'll try to post this video B in our amuna group so you can see it it's a small example and there are so many more so many more of it this is the attitude we have to bring to Arun it's your homework this is your assignment for next time for next time whether you make a spreadsheet and you don't have to reveal how many push-ups he did you don't have to share how many UPS you did or how many hours of sleep you got at night but I will tell you this I will tell you this from personal experience if you make your own spreadsheet you will start sleeping longer and more because you'll have to face how little you are if you make your spreadsheet and you promise yourself certain things you're going to be doing and you're going to have to leave those spaces blank if you don't do them you're going to start making these changes to your life and one or more of those columns has to be about did you DAV did you say to did you call and check in on someone did you feel that hug or wink or notd from Hashem what are three things I'm grateful for what are three things I wanted to do differently in my life I'm demonstrating or protesting about to treat our amuna like a business reviews goals ambition aspiration team meetings what gets measured gets managed we should manage to grow our in such a way that we get the yesu we should hear today please God only only good news and please stay to finish all sa Forum please feel free to take a Amare cafin with kav a cup make a donation of any amount that you want or none at all and listen tonight to Rabbi David Aaron