Living With Emunah (Part 316) - Frustrated and Filled with Faith

okay good morning Boer to Boer to welcome back to living with amuna it's great to be together don't forget to join our WhatsApp to keep up to date on the L schedule as it is somewhat still in flux this summer from some bonus amuna material thoughts and inspiration at Rabbi go.org WhatsApp I'ma series is generously sponsored by Dr zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of R Dr Brian galet in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen shanzer we are incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity and a reminder you can sponsor any particular sheer as well as always we're going to share some amuna amuna stories amuna emails and then we'll get into our learning resume our learning we're actually finishing this piece by and concluding this Ms this thought that he's been trying to drive home about Hashem being not only the abstract theoretical not only a thought but in Practical putting it into into practice I wrote my article this week I'll post it maybe I posted it already in the group I don't remember about these two astronauts who are stuck in space and it's fascinating to see they their way home when they tested it in malfunctioned it's not a safe way to return so even though they were supposed to be there for eight days they'll end up being there for eight months I'm not touching thehood issue of this male and female astronaut spending eight months in space together how their spouses feel about it but that's not my business not my business but they're spending eight months instead of eight days and as I wrote in the article it's interesting NASA has gone out of its way to not use the word stuck or stranded and the reason is because NASA right now is not has necessarily the best reputation and they don't want to look like they malfunction that they're incompetent that they did something wrong and even the astronauts themselves said you know we love it up here we're cherishing our time we're making the most of it and all kinds of good stuff so I wrote in the article as we've shared here in this year before story of the rebba when the women got stuck in Detroit they called the's office we're stuck he said a Jew is never stuck if you're there there's a reason they went around the airport giving out candles there were Jewish women in Detroit who still like candles for chabas because those women were stuck in the airport we spoke about sapir con who was held hostage for 55 days who changed her Paradigm who looked at it differently I'm not stuck in Gaza if I'm here it's because it's where I'm meant to be I have a mission what's my purpose she decided her purpose was helping that young woman who was held hostage with her the two of them thank God bar hasem were were released earlier on and and she had a whole paradigm shift in her approach and there are many more examples and the the key is the challenge to all of us that when a person lives with amuna you know you're never stuck not when you're online not when you're waiting in the doctor's office not when the flight is canceled not when you're in traffic you're never stuck you are where you're meant to be a y a Jew is never stuck and it's such a paradigm shift it's hard so the MS is to know it the MS is to know that we are where weever meant to be I shared in the article the reat an Insight with back in sa B midbar the Torah talks about these are the journeys of the Jewish people and then goes on the list 42 times they stopped 42 times they encamped 42 times they unpacked so why do you call something a journey if it in fact is describing unpacking staying stationary settling in why is that called a journey and the rebba suggested because when a Jew settles in that's a journey wherever you find yourself unpacking wherever you find yourself whether it is in the airport waiting for the next flight because yours was canceled whether it is out of red light taking way too long whether it is wherever it is in life a Jew is never stuck it's all part of the journey so we look at where we are even when we're stationary as part of our journey our journey for life as part of our journey through life I flew back this week's flights everything was on time no story I did have a story to tell I told it yesterday about the young boy who when we landed said I'm Jewish too I told that yesterday but no story about being delayed bar everything worked the clock B in Hara but last week was flying back and there were all kinds of delays because of the weather in Florida then as we're as we're approaching the pilot comes on and says fortdale airport just closed because of lightning we're going to go to Palm Beach instead which is wonderful because it's closer than Fort Lauderdale unless you have a car parked in Fort Lauderdale then it's not so wonderful he said don't worry we're just going to wait and then we'll fly from there to Fort Lauderdale when that opens up again which would be the shortest flight ever but then he came on and he said four letter are just opened up we're going straight so again those are the Winking moments the smile moments the hug from Hashem things worked out we didn't panic when he said we're going to West pal because you're never stuck if that's where you're going that's where you're been that's where you're meant to be that's where we're meant to be so those two astronauts they're not stuck in space they're not stranded in space not because of NASA's reasons of liability or looking bad but because if you believe in Hashem and it's interesting the male astronaut's wife who was interviewed said he's calm because he goes to church regular he believes in God and therefore he knows essentially where he's meant to be but if we can live our lives we're never stuck we're never stranded we are where we're meant to be our lives will be richer and will be more meaningful we'll be more calm and Serene and healthy and we'll have a sense of mission and purpose where we are making the most of it so a couple of emails then we'll dive into the text first one we're going to start out the theme today of dear many of my close friends are married about to be married and are building incredible hom I've been ding for my Ze my spouse for many years and know hasm will send me the right one at the right time with that said with that said having the amuna is extremely difficult I am now 24 years old again Everything's Relative in many worlds in the world 24 is a very young age if somebody's friends are all married and dating and they've been dating for three or four years 24 can feel like a lifetime I'm 24 and I've struggled in sh for a few years I been keeping the the motto of thank you Hashem for having it not work out after the first date so I could continue to grow and live my life and make myself better for my zeug at the right time with that said it's especially hard when a friend meets their Ze upon their first time going out ever I'm extremely happy for them and I know that them finding their spouse is irrelevant for me finding mine but it still hurts nonetheless when I've been working on myself to be able to build a bon then I recall the story you told of the guy who had broken engagement continued to have auna during such a difficult time and is now married as a beautiful family it truly gives me such so thank you to that person who wrote that email because look how paying it forward it's helping other people I do open brings my possible in the meantime hasm is telling me that for whatever reason now is not the time similar how mosha wanted to see hashem's front but hasem said he could only see his back and a commentary explains this a lesson for us we won't understand n says they're happening the test says they're happening but when we look back afterwards we'll see why it had to be that way I'm writing this to reinforce my that one day be hasem soon I'll understand that my Zea couldn't come now but at a later Point Hashem has this blessed plan in store for me thank you they truly helped me during the difficult times by the way my Sab is 94 years old banara and he likes listening to your podcast when I'm in the car driving him with the story I mentioned from your sheir I was Rel listening to it with my sabba and when we stopped the car he asked did he get married and I was so happy for him when I said yes barash the guy got married okay next email I was recently began listening to I've been taking the inspiration thank you for the recording so I can listen from New York I'm really enjoying the message blah blah blah yada y yada uh I was dating a guy for a while and everything was going well in the back of my mind I was thinking that after a couple of years of dating this could be the one out of the blue he called me one night and said it's not going to work out I was pretty devastated because so many things had made sense for me in the relationship deep down though in the midst of my frustration and sadness I knew that it wasn't this guy saying no I knew it was directly from Hashem saying no but it was very bitter pill to swallow and I wrestled with the idea for a while in my head I knew it to be true but my heart did not accept it it's one thing to logically believe something and another to live it it has been said the farthest distance between any two things in this world is the distance between The Head and the Heart we spoke about this recently also the the soldier who speaks in between the sent home from the front because if we can't take what we know and put it into practice into action that Gap that distance between The Head and the Heart between what we know to be true but executing it in practice we can't have a soldier on the front who can't ful fill what they know to be true so it's a struggle even when you go to the Amun even when you read the books and newsletters and emails and texts even when you keep up with trying to live with amuna we can know the EMS this email is describing the EMS we can know the EMS we can know it's EMS it's true it's true but to take the EMS and to put it in auna and to practice is much harder back to the email after that I tried to dive back into dating I spoke with many sh and friends nothing was coming up about a month later I was listening to a podcast where a dating coach said if you really believe in everything is from hem and you've been doing all all your initiative and nothing is coming to fruition it's time to take a step back and go on a cleanse where you do nothing for a month that was the advice of whoever she was listening to No isless no running around trying to control the situation just let go and let God I knew this is exactly what I needed I stopped running around and making phone calls one night I was feeling down and I was feeling like I could use the burst of amuna I typed amuna into Apple podcast and your shur popped up it was exactly what I needed to hear I needed to hear that being maaba after a devastating loss and that raban were delayed in the airport so they can make a bar mitzvah it brought so much remember those stories I turned to Hashem that night and I said I'm not going to wallow in stress I'm giving my stress to you the next day I continued to listen to the on the way to work after work I was scrolling through my Miss messages and I couldn't could not believe what I was seeing not one but two guys had given yeses now if you're not holding in the world of sh it sounds absurd but that's how it works in this backward upside down broken system of our own doing we live in a world where it's much easier for men young men than young women often they're asked first a young woman is waiting to find out if she qualified if she got the yes and it can be a tremendously painful waiting aggravating experience but anyway she scrolled so anyway a scho for is listening to the that's what I take out us you speak about a wink from Hashem this was a double wink this was a hug Hashem was letting me know that I'm exactly on the right path just keep going going I'm exactly where I need to be I have so much for this year my plan to continue listening thank you for helping strengthen my amuna I don't yet know the end of the story so we'll see how it works out so hopefully we don't know the end but it's hard these are NEOS that waiting anything you have to wait for you're waiting for a spouse you're waiting to get pregnant have a child you're waiting for good news about parnasa to pay your bills you're waiting to get into school you're waiting that's where the amuna kicks in is in that waiting to lean into the weight and to Embrace that experience and to take the step back and let go and let God and and to totally surrender to him and say I am where I'm meant to be and this will take however much time it's meant to take and you're in charge you're in control not me I surrender to you take all my initiative I do everything that I can and after that I put in your hands one more I have a email to story I'd like to share dear go I recently started listening to the series and I'm inspired by all the Torah discussed and the stories that are showed i' like to recount the recently situation that tested my I in a few weeks ago I was struggling with a related incident I'm not going to detail what happened but after the whole situation was over I was really obset and annoyed at the whole General circumstance and a bunch of people I believe the process could have gone much smoother and a lot of human error miscommunication that occurred could have been avoided for a few days after I was trying to convince myself be on pep talks everything's for the best it's all from Hashem I was trying to convince myself everything's okay logically I know that hm only gives me good but my heart refused to accept the logic I was aned the sh aned the boy aned my parents annointed myself and aned I want to pause for a moment because I want to I want to just say what we've we've shared many times but it's important to reiterate that it's okay to be annoyed those feelings are okay the feelings are okay remember we shared an in a a Insight years ago the vendor had on the Torah tells not if but when when you will worry if you keep shita what will I eat in the seventh year if I let the land lay fallow if I don't take an income if it's an unpaid sabatical I'm worried what will I eat the Torah says don't worry if You observe shita with faith Hashem will give enough in the sixth year for the sixth seventh and eth and render quoted commentaries who say why does the Torah it should say if you'll worry not when you'll worry and he said because the Torah wants to give you permission to be human to be mortal to have human experiences and human emotions and you know what you'll be a little anxious you'll be a little that's okay that doesn't mean you don't have doesn't mean you don't live with hem it means you're human it means you're human with human feelings and human emotions and human worries human experiences human reactions human responses and that's okay so a person went through a hard and a painful situation and people people who could have acted differently failed them it's okay to be frustrated and it's okay to need to work through those feelings and that is not a contradiction and that is not a fail of if a person says this didn't have to happen I exclusively blame these other people it's all their fault that's a breakdown of am but to say this had to happen for whatever reason it didn't have to happen through them so I I hope they can learn from it act differently in the future take responsibility and the evidence the evidence that this approach is correct is we're about to enter the month of el and in the month of el and Beyond we spend the time asking forgiveness earning forgiveness from one another why do we have to do that why don't just say to the person that we hurt why do I have to say I'm sorry Hashem wanted you to be hurt by me and your need for me to apologize your need for me to apologize is because you don't have am why don't we say that that should be a good takeaway from the Amun here instead of going on an apology tour for the month of el instead of making amends as one of the steps of the program we'll go around to everyone we hurt and we'll give the amuna pep talk and rebuke and say you only have a need for for me to apologize because you're a heretic atheist iar reject and if you had enough then you would have no need for me to apologize because you'd realize that I was just the agent of Hashem when I spread all that gossip about you when I called you all those names when I hurt you so badly when I stole your money when I took advantage of your I was just doing what Hashem wanted to have happened to you so I don't have to ask forgiveness I don't have to say I'm sorry and the fact that you need that is because you have no amuna we just to be clear don't stop listening now we don't do that we don't do that we don't say that and such a person has major problems we don't do that what do we say we go around and we say if we hurt people we have to make amends to take responsibility accountability we have to ask for forgiveness we have to regret the past and we have to make a commitment to change for the future why the other people don't have amuna because it's not a contradiction a victim of somebody else's poor behavior Can Sim ously realized that whatever I went through and going through couldn't have happened if Hashem wasn't okay with it couldn't have happened without Hashem being okay with it however simultaneously I need to work through the relationship with the other they have to earn forgiveness ask for forgiveness if it's appropriate there's compensation if somebody hits my car they come and say I'm not paying for that that was from Hashem no we have a we have a whole section of called we have rabinal courts called B and we have of that are organized around figuring out who's liable what do they have to pay what should happen the victim should say I'm not upset it was from Hashem that I have this Dent that we have this damage whatever reason was meant to be you have to pay for it because you did it I love you give me a hug you got to pay for it and it's from hasem so I'm not upset about it and I have no desire for Revenge because of it Torah tells us that a Jew is forbidden to take revenge you're not allowed to wres why because if I want to take revenge against you I've not got out of the equation if you did something to me and now I want to reciprocate now I want to pay it forward to you now I want to take revenge against you then I knocking God out of the equation I'm denying his role in whatever happened to me so I can't take revenge right but I can't hold you accountable if you hurt me or cause damage or injury you have to pay you have to pay but not in a way that I would want to take revenge I realize whatever happened came from Hashem but you have to pay because you did you did something wrong I can't tell you how empowering that is to live life that way to be able to live simultaneously with those two truths there's a truth that it came from Hashem it couldn't have happened without him and there's a truth that you did it you're accountable you could have done better and if hasm wanted that to happen it could have happened some other way didn't have to be through you if it was through you you need to work that through you need to take responsibility you need to apologize you need to own up so I'll come back to this email because it's very very important very very important if there are people who failed us or hurt us or injured us it's okay to have to work that through it's okay to have a conversation calmly with the goal of repair and Reconciliation it's okay to hold them accountable and make them or expect them to apologize and to earn forgiveness that is not a contradiction amuna at the same time to realize that whatever happened happened it's all part of Hashem plan and it was meant to be they're both true at the same time they're not a contradiction to one another just like if you remember a few years ago we read R's article where he spoke about his rebi RBA who left the Shiva call with him from a a great Russ Shiva was sitting shiva for his wife who the Riva sitting shiva said everything's from Hashem this is one to be and I'm so happy for the years that I had her and therefore I'm not sad comment R is going to crash and burn because it's going to kick in that is why is gone and it's not a contradiction and be sad we're supposed to be sad we lose someone we love we go through a hard time we make a you should be sad a there's sadness there's grief there's loss it's not a contradiction to say whatever happened is somehow as painful as it is as incomprehensible as it is as hard as it is to understand it's from hasem but it's also sad those are not a contradiction and neither is being disappointed in someone and holding them accountable and also realizing it's from Hashem there's enough room and space for us to be able to hold two things at the same time and that's really really important so back to this email that this letter writer says I know it was from Hashem but I was still annoyed at the sh the boy my parents myself and Hashem that's okay got to work all that through that's okay there's enough to have to work through without beating yourself up up why do I feel this way if I really had auna I wouldn't have these feelings don't beat yourself up you're human when a person when a Jew will ask in the sixth year what will I what will I eat in the seventh year says render not if but when because you're human and that's okay and when a person is experienced a loss you're gonna feel sad that's human that's okay the ram writes in the laws of aus that a Jew who loses someone and doesn't feel sad is cruel that's cruelty it means that you didn't love and you don't miss the one that you lost because if you don't feel sad that's cruel that's cruel to the soul of the one is no longer here so it's not only not something virtuous it's not only something not to aspire to it's cruel and it's wrong and the same is true back to the letter after a few days of this I decided enough was enough it was time to face my emotions head on I sat down with myself closed my eyes and started to dig deep and get in touch with what I was feeling I realized I was angry so I allowed that anger to remain and did not push it away because what you resist persists I even validated it then I went a bit deeper and determined the anger was coming from Fear I was scared what was I scared of I was scared of loneliness wow I was scared of loneliness on a literal level what if I never get married remain alone forever I was scared of loneliness on a deeper spiritual level I felt that Hashem abandoned me he left me I felt very alone as soon as I pinpointed the fear I felt a release I felt a lightness a warmth wash over my body I realized I'm never ever alone Hashem is right beside me holding me in his arms and guiding me in the direction to go before this experience I could have told you the exact same thing because logically I know everything that hasm does for the best but now I can say these words with a deep internal knowing a deep sense hem loves me to no end he's orchestrating my life exactly how it's supposed to be everything he does is good even if I perceive it as bad and right now at this moment I'm exactly where I meant to be exactly where I meant to be one more now let's get to our text okay uh yeah okay let's get back to our learning we'll pick up more please keep sending the emails I appreciate them and they're beautiful and inspiring each one is a sheer unto itself that description that she just had about how she leaned into the anger worked it through and felt the release each one is is incredible Shear in its own right so please keep sending and we can keep sharing we're on page where he's going through the 13 principles of faith and Ms the truth of is putting it into practice we're in the third full paragraph on that page realuna doesn't end with knowledge it doesn't end in the head real doesn't end in the head it starts in the head and it's got to trickle down and come where to the heart if you remember we spoke about ainu a ainu at that young age discovered God because he thought that every building is an architect every painting is a painter every sculpture as a sculptor so then every soul every person has a Creator and then he met the balab he met the Creator and why did he have to meet the Creator MOS Shapiro suggested because until then he had the EMS he discovered a truth in abstract conceptually but he had to meet the Creator means it had to be put into practice we have to meet the Creator we have to have ongoing conversations with the Creator we have to speak to God and we have to hear God speaking to us through this world and then we saw that as violated five things one was he was he was a heretic why because he said what do I need this firstborn status for and they used the word Z and where else do we see the word Z the the maid servant on the sea after the sea split crossed and sang asash and said this is my God and I will glorify him z z so you see to be able to point Ms is there's a God I can quote all the evidence I can tell you all the proof of his existence Emma says I went to the seminar I saw the Bible codes amuna is I could point and say Z that was God that was God for the good when it worked out the sh fell apart Z this is God the flight was Z that's also God when we can point with our finger that's the point that we realize that we're a believer to be a believer to live with is not to be able to regurgitate repeat the evidence for hm's existence the MS he doesn't need you for that he exists whether you believe it know it have a relationship with him or not he doesn't need you for that that's Ms is to live so alive so vibrant so real that we point with our finger and say it doesn't end with knowledge has to be trickle from our head through our heart out our forefinger in the head in the head yes I know he's there here's how I know he's there here's my knowledge how do I know about Hashem the r writes two ways ra says there are two ways that you know Hashem how you can know Hashem through his Torah he gave us his diary that's the highest and the greatest and the best it's the air that we breathe his Torah is his diary he said read my diary you'll know me the other way is study my world the raham says essentially biology chemistry physics go see the apps in the Grand Canyon go see the northon go see my world and you'll know me those are the two ways that you'll come to see me and to know me learn about me connect with me through my diary and through my creation through my through my world and when you do you'll know first in the head then it comes down through the heart and when you have the head in the heart then it comes out through the finger because you say you know where it comes out with the finger when you use your finger to press your WhatsApp group that I hope you've all started by now when you open the group and you leave a message can't believe this thing worked out and bar and it's all good and amazing amazing or it didn't work out but that's also amazing because that's the way it was meant to be this was disappointing this didn't work out and you leave that message in the group too in the head down to the heart out through the finger in that Amun WhatsApp group to a friend I want to tell you a story listen to what happened to me and that was Hashem and I feel his presence and he was winking nodding or hugging for the good or for the bad but Z it came from my head through my heart and not my finger he doesn't just exist but he exists oppositely he doesn't just exist theoretically he exists and he's in my life he's my reality when knew even when he concluded that even when he concluded that there is a God and a Creator but it wasn't real until he met the love and his when revealed himself had the theoretical conceptual academic abstract discovery of God the intellectual discovery of God then there has to be the emotional discovery of God you know it's sort of like the author of that email said I knew even when the sh went wrong and I was upset at all these people I knew intellectually it was all from Hashem but I hadn't experienced that emotionally and it's only when I stopped and closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and leaned into that anger and that feeling I was able to take what I knew intellectually and to experience it emotionally and now that I understood it intellectually and emotionally now I can experience it practically in practice and put it into practice okay next and last section of this piece will end with an Insight of our great rabbis that's where the sh appears what's the Jewish people walk through that split sea came out the other side and said wow wow when I felt the walls were caving in when I thought there was no way out when I thought this wasn't going to be all of a sudden you split my sea and the Sea splits for us often and frequently and regularly we feel those walls are caving in and shim and infertility and in parasa in livelihood and in relationships that we think are damaged Beyond repair we think the world is caving in on October 7th for the Jewish people and anti-Semitism and we don't know yesterday we woke up to such BOS toos a hostage another was rescued and that should just continue should toos daily daily please God until it's over we should see our sea split and our enemies drown and come out that other side and sing that Shir and sing that Shir and what was the Shir so this is what this is what our Rabbi said then are the Jewish people and Mos saying a Jew accepts upon himself one Mitzvah with with it is worthwhile they Merit for the divine presence to rest on them KES because we see that with the Jewish people bless you the Jewish people came out of Egypt when they came out of Egypt they were on the 49th level of T they were so impure moral corruption moral chaos moral Decay moral decadence Jewish people were on the lowest lowest lowest level lowest level a Jew could be on the lowest level but one moment and one Mitzvah of amuna and all of a sudden they fly and now they're worthy of Hashem dwelling on them so a Jew could spend the whole night scrolling through filth a Jew could make terrible mistakes and gossip and slander with their tongue a Jew could go to the wrong place or listen to the wrong thing a Jew can file the wrong taxes a Jew can make terrible mistakes to be filled with Tuma but all of a sudden One Moment One Moment where they say it's not who I am who I could be and Hashem I see you and I feel you and I responsible to you and I want a relationship with you all of a sudden the Jewish people came out of that filth that 49th level of Tuma they came out of that place of moral chaos and Corruption they were spiritually lost but they had one moment on the opposite side of that sea one moment of feeling his presence and connection one moment of undeniable hug with in that one moment they went from being lost souls to feeling his presence to singing his song to meriting to be Dively inspired to sing his song in that one moment in that one moment I told the story several years ago of a young man who came to visit me who had grown up very religious and went through a lot of challenges and struggles in life and had dropped religion and he came to me the night before he had a court case he was appearing before a judge he was towards the end of a very complicated manner that was part of the worst of the life that he had been leading and even though he had changed and rehabilitated recovered from so much in his life the judge was still going to decide whether he was convinced and he was appearing before the judge and he came to me and he said I don't know what to do because I need Hashem but I haven't spoken to him in so long I don't know how to go back and I don't know if he wants to hear from me because why would you want to hear from me when I haven't spoken to him in so long and just because I need something now all of a sudden I'm G to call him up remember I told you the story and he came to meet with me that's why I repeat the stories because I know you forget because I forget so I'll tell you what I told him this young man who's a great young man I'm still in touch with him what I told him is he wasn't yet and is not yet a father please God when the time will be right I said I could tell you as a parent if you have a child that God forbid God forbid God forbid is estranged from you and hasn't spoken to you and is distant from you and when they come and they meet and even if the reason is they say I need your help I'm going through something and I can't get through it without you and maybe I should have come earlier and I'm sorry we haven't been in touch but I need your help the parent doesn't say where have you been you haven't been touched you only need me now parent says come here I want to give you a hug I'm so happy you're back how can I help you what can I do and how can we build on this where can we go from here Hashem is sitting and he's waiting he is waiting by his spiritual phone every day that you don't call he's been devastated and he's not looking to get even or pay it back or punish you he's going to be so grateful you're calling him now that's he's waiting he's waiting so that one moment I saw it in this young man I saw it he went from the 49th level of T he went from his life being filled with filth and chaos and Corruption and he was lost but in one moment because he appeared before a human judge it helped him realize I need the ultimate judge I still need the ultimate judge I need my father in that Moment of clarity he had a Moment of clarity so you can go from to believe in Hashem I need you Hashem in that moment to Merit divine inspiration Divine connection takes that moment takes a moment too many Jews who we love they feel lost and broken because they're filled with faith they're on that lowest level of TMA and they say what's the point if I was up half the night scrolling through or watching things I shouldn't be watching why bother going to shakas in the morning why bother putting Tan on in the morning why bother why bother but it's the opposite all it takes is a moment a moment a Moment of clarity a moment of conviction a moment of Faith a moment of Yearning a moment of spiritual ambition and desire and in that you can go from Vu to aashir you could have the most authentic and the highest and the most beautiful the prayer that Hashem is waiting for the longest the one that's going to lift us all and save us all so we need to know that the broken part of ourselves the lowest part of ourselves the part of ourselves which is the most disappointing to know that doesn't have to Define us we're not defined by our lowest moments or our worst moments we're not there permanently and that shouldn't hold us back from becoming who we're meant to be it's never too late to become who you're meant to be and who you could be and all it needs is that Moment of clarity we could take that moment Vu and turn the mared this world and the next why because he had Ms but he had a he didn't just intellectually know there's a God he put it into practice says believed in and kazal continue why the Jewish people Merit to get out of Egypt they in the lowest level of Filth of Tuma they were morally corrupt and lost they were looking at listening to saying most inappropriate things so when what Merit were they redeemed did they get out because they had a little amuna it's not a contradiction don't say if I'm distracted and tempted and I'm indulging these bad things what's the point of having amuna he doesn't want me Hashem he doesn't love me no it's despite the Temptation despite the impulse despite the Indulgence still having auna that's the way out that's the Rope to pull us out that's the Rope to climb up and get out don't give up on yourself because you struggle understand the way out from the struggle is the little Moment of clarity the moment of amuna we were in M we were pursuing and indulging the worst behavior and yet we earned we merited he took us out because we had that moment of the go on and on and on and find that word amuna all throughout our Torah and each time the word amuna is not associated when we at our highest level when we were acting our best when we were most impressive where do you see the word amuna each of those times where we're struggling where we're battling where we're giving in where we're losing ground and how do we climb out what is the life preserver what is the Rope a moment of that Moment of clarity build on it embrace it lean into it it's the way out how are we married to we put on our we wind our finger we say what is this bond this marriage this love with comments on this medish so the med says when we're at our lowest when we're struggling when we're battling when we're filled with faith we're giving it to moral chaos the way out the Rope the life preserver the exit strategy is amuna a Moment of clarity a moment you cannot overstate how significant and how important and how productive that Moment of clarity of amuna is don't say what's the point of amuna it's not real because look at how I just behaved say amuna despite how I just behaved but I know better and I could be better and I want better and I want this relationship it's like this young man who was facing his choices and his behavior were coming to a head because he was appearing before a judge and because of that he had this Moment of clarity I want to talk to Hashem I believe in him I know he's the only one who could get me out but what do I do look at how I behave does he even really want to hear from me and we have to know that the answer is yes it's not that he's willing to hear from me in that moment he is desperate to hear from me in that moment as a parent if you could help your child but you understand that you're at the point point that you can't help them unless they want the help are you not sitting and waiting and longing and welcoming will you not give the biggest hug in the world will you not throw a party when they come because you've just been waiting come I can help I want to help I'm here for you come come the door is always open come I've been sitting and waiting Hashem is waiting that Moment of clarity no matter how we got there no matter which mistakes we made no matter what wrong turns we took but if we have that breakthrough that moment he's waiting says the the med is telling us the greatness of Amun in front of it's through Amun we cling to him we connect him and we can go to the ends of the world we could ride to the ends of the world you know you see the opposite there are people they go through all the Motions of mitos but they haven't had one Moment of clarity of so they're living what I call the checklist yish DAV checki check sta check chauffer Suka check expensive matah check check check check check check but they've never once had a conversation with Hashem they've never once heard Hashem having a conversation with them they're not living that amuna filter those glasses they don't live their life they feel stuck and Stranded they don't have amuna so I don't want to say God forbid the opposite but you see the person who does nothing right but they have amuna what the Merit of that does what if you do everything right but have don't have the amuna it's still beautiful and you get a lot of credit and it's wonderful to do all the right things on the checklist but you know if you're married and you're like but I took out the garbage and I bought you the flowers for the anniversary and I help clear the table Yeah but we we have no love and romance and connection and and confiding and intimacy so it's nice that you have a checklist of things that you know you download it from the internet and you can put a check next to each of the things that a spouse is supposed to do but you don't talk to me and you don't listen to me talking to you and you don't care about my needs and my wants and you don't speak my love language then what's the point of all the checklist get a roommate marriage is not a roommate a roommate has a checklist who's turned to shop who's turned to do the dishes who's turned to take out the garbage that's a checklist that's a roommate a marriage is more than a roommate so with Hashem he doesn't want a roommate he doesn't need a roommate he wants love he wants marriage he wants intimacy he wants confidence he wants connection he wants closeness and Amun is the way there Amun is the path there Amun is the evidence that we're there to be connected last paragraph and we complete this learning figure out what we're doing next week through we submit to him and we rest on him we rely on him we surrender to him the reality of amuna is we make a contract a contract and a covenant with Ms through amuna we get married to the MS by putting in practice withs we become a vehicle I don't know if you remember how we began this several months ago but he's spoke about what does it mean to build a what does it mean that mosha was was to means you're reliable you're Dependable you're true but it means you're putting into practice aain it's not Ms it's amuna it's aain it's NE are you reliable to put into practice what you say you know to be true does it go from your head to your heart out your fingertips and this is how a Jew goes from being the boundaries of being small which is narrow the way that we climb out of this narrow smallness to Greatness is to go froms to that we ourselves become vehicles and instruments of the revelation of God in this world that the way we live our life and the calmness and the Serenity and the confidence and the clarity that he's here it's all from him and the navigation tools to get where we're meant to go we become that vehicle that instrument to reveal his hand that we don't just have that Ms that theory somewhere but we're practically living it inun so we should be pleas God all of us should know the truth but as or more importantly live the truth and be examples of that truth and through that Ms and the living with amuna find and feel Hashem in our life in a way that lifts us and in a way that empowers us in a way that enriches us in a way that please God he answers all of ouros for good next week our Shear is on Monday same time but it's on Monday I'm I don't want to say I'm sorry I'm traveling I think six weeks in a row for Simas all good things so I think our Shear is on Monday next week stay tuned in the WhatsApp group please remain to complete all same time 8:45 it's Labor Day Labor of Love labor of amuna um please stay to complete all of safer may we hear B to