Living With Emunah (Part 300) - You are a Lottery Winner

good morning good day good morning good news the hostages come home the soldiers return to their families may we have a sweeping victory for CLA Isel want to thank our generous amuni sponsors for the year Ai and Bella Morgan in memory of Brian galber and in memory of Bella's mother Dr Chan remain very very grateful to them for their generosity this morning Shear is also sponsored by Sarah and Marty chandel in memory of by Carol W in memory of her dear friend 2 and and for the of yud as well our learning should be we should hear good news we should hear mem speedy speedy recovery uh next week there is no Shear please God we're going back to Israel for a couple of days so no sh but we will resume the week afterwards and I'm happy to tell you we have met our goal in the annual campaign but a y is Never Satisfied when you reach your goal you raise your goal that's all I'm not raising the goal relax relax I'm not raising the goal but there are 24 more hours to enter the raffle we're going to do the raffle 24 hours 10 to the raffle for two tickets domestic tickets two to spend shabas with us VIP tiet too BRS on April 7th so enter the raffle support and help us spread our spread our Torah um please maybe someone handed it out even while we're learning but this was sent welcome thank you so much we uh shared with you about e Jackman e schm Jackman his father had shared with me how he woke up early every day in Gaza to learn the DFI and to DAV with kavana and found way to have that mindfulness and that just extraordinary extraordinary Hashem is taking from us our gems our crown jewels our best which just makes it all the more unbearable and painful and we send love and strength to the Jackman family and this was sent for our Amun everyone to carry this with us to do things in memory of a Ben Shu and to take upon ourselves something this is a bag full of I guess everyone just pulls what they you have to fulfill what you pull so be careful honoring my parents not talking during daving be in touch with family before chabas there's all kinds in here so you might want to be careful what you which one you pull maybe somebody will walk around everybody pull one out and we do things in his memory in the memory of of too many people of too many people last last week I'm behind the be we had the parents of M Soldier they got up from Shiva and just a few days later joined us to tell his story he he lived Al kesm he died Al kesm he lived a hero he died a hero every week we get together to learn about amuna but just watch watch and listen and and you'll see people demonstrating what it means to live with auna to live with auna is not when the Wi-Fi is slow or goes out not to lose faith in Hashem to live with Amun is not because the Starbucks person got your order mixed up and you didn't lose your faith in Hashem to live with Amun is not even when your flight got canceled and you didn't make it where you wanted to go to nevertheless maintain your faith in Hashem to live with amuna are the people who've lost Irreplaceable loved ones and yet and yet somehow dig deep and keep that faith in Hashem and understand the that they're on in life and each of the parents from jany who was here to's parents who we had on last week and others and each and I hesitate and I'm scared every time I ask it but I say you made Aliyah these are Americans who've made Aliyah knowing the price you've now paid would you do it again do you have regret for what you've done the only reason I ask is I'm pretty confident knowing them a little bit what they'll answer and it's just extraordinary it's extraordinary so these are incredible role models and people they seem ordinary and maybe before October 7th or before this particular personal loss they went through they were in ways ordinary but inside them they are always extraordinary and the truth is in ways there are metaphor for Amel am we are learning about the sh of who we thought we were versus who we really are as individuals and collectively as a nation as a people and we thought we were ordinary and we thought we had makus and we fought we were divided and fragmented and partisan and split and we thought that little things and Petty things and material things matter to us and since October 7th we've come to discover who we are and what we really are and the sh shama the core the source of our soul the root of our soul each of us individually I think have learned a lot about ourselves and collectively collaboratively we spoke about that in the pasir this week to come together to gather together to return and restore that to compliment and supplement one another to be a kahila to be a seore to be a community to be a people to be a nation and to restore that root and health of our soul to get back to to get back to that place so please don't leave before we'll say tum at the end as we always do divide all of on behalf of our brothers and sisters in Israel on behalf of the families on behalf of the countless wounded last week we spoke about what it means to be wounded wounded is not a splinter wounded is not a bruise wounded is not a broken arm in fact somebody who was just there told me that they went to visit somebody who the news reported as being lightly wounded and lightly wounded could be losing a limb and that's still lightly wounded because if a person is not in critical condition and their life is not threatened they're called lightly wounded and lightly wounded could mean you lost a limb told you a good friend of mine's nephew lost his leg the other leg below the knee one hand and the thumb of the other hand and his life is just radically changed forever that's where ouros our heart fos are pleased and are storming the gates of sh to hasem to show usus to show compassion and love and to intervene with Miracles and to end this madness and to allow to allow the people of Israel to go back to the lives that they deserve to live I want to share an email I want to tell you about somebody I never met or know and then we'll get back to what we were learning the last piece in the that delivered in the med during the Yom Kipper War so an email first de Rabbi Goldberg love listening to the weekly blah blah blah they inspire me and there are such incredible reminders of the active role Hashem plays in our lives I have many amuna stories to share but something happened recently where I couldn't help but notice how hashm had drawn so many pieces together to make sure my husband and I were in the right place at the right time my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer earlyer this year he spent the last six months undergoing chemo and bar the chemo was successful however the standard procedure with the esophageal cancer to have a complicated surgery in which the esophagus esophagus is removed and reconstructed using part of the stomach which is amazing also that we live in such a time that that can be done I don't know how long ago that was a pipe dream pun intended I guess thank you thank you for coming you've been a great audience that was a p but even that to live in miraculous times that to be diagnosed with that horrible thing one can focus on being diagnosed with it where is Hashem it's not fair to me why or one could be one could be focused on being diagnosed with it in a time in which there is a medical procedure the author of the email writes my father's a very cheerful person and though he was trying to stay positive it was obvious the surgery and the long recovery period to follow was weighing heavily on him this is not my father's first time battling cancer my husband and I live in erel and though it was the middle of Winter's M we decided we wanted to go back to America and be with my father for the week of the surgery it wasn't an easy decision and it wasn't easy to find flights but we made it we were able to spend time with my family before during and for a little while after the surgery surgery was scheduled for Thursday morning and lasted 14 hours until around 11:30 p.m. I spent the last couple of hours in the hospital with my mother and some other family members before returning home five hours after the surgery ended my husband woke up in excruciating pain I called out Sal on the amazing volunteer who came recommended we go straight to the emergency room I got my husband in the car turned the GPS and typed in the nearest ER but somehow my GPS was still in Israel and kept ing me to wolon Medical Towers in ravia 7,000 miles away we ran to the hatala volunteer and asked him to please take us to the emergency room he agreed even though in most situations sell members do not do this we got to the hospital and around an hour later my in-laws came to be with us it was taking us a while to get admitted soon after my in-laws arrived we were able to get in touch with the incredible chapl of the hospital minutes later my hus my husband was taken to a room and given medication to deal with the pain soon the doctor came did some tests and diagnosed my husband with a kidney stone extremely painful but manageable chaplain got us in the VIP list of the hospital somehow so we were the first in line to receive the test needed to confirm the diagnosis my husband brother is also a doctor at the hospital so he was monitoring our situation and gave us constant updates later that morning bar we were discharged I dropped my husband off at his parents house almost immediately had it back to a different house mod to visit my father who was beginning the recovery process after his surgery when the car ride back from visiting my father I burst into tears completely overwhelmed with gratitude that both that though both my husband and father were in the hospital in the last 24 hours hours they were both alive breathing and on the way to recovery I don't know what it would have been like had my husband and I not decided to go back to America to visit my father what I do know is that being back in America we were surrounded and supported by our immediate family we had atella member who went above the Call of Duty to help a fellow Jew in pain we had a chaplain who showed us how much he cared making sure we were immediately and later checked in on us the brother who worked at the hospital I felt that Hashem was pulling the strings bringing us where we were supposed to be when we were supposed to be there barash postcript her father is doing better and on the road to recovery so another email you could live life why me my father my husband where is Hashem or Hashem I don't know why it had to happen I wish it didn't have to happen thank you for putting me where I needed to be when it was happening on this adventure called life it is two ways of being able to look at the same situation and I'll give you another example of the two ways that we look at the same situation and it's not just lip service and it's not just a person shouldn't you know in some inauthentic way earn the Oscar for acting and saying the right things even though they don't mean it they don't feel it it's not who they are the one who benefits the most when we can transform our experiences to try to live life and look at what happens and try to see the hand of Hashem and again not only when it turned out we were in the right place and they treated us and everyone's doing better but even when it turned out not and we shared many of those emails and stories is we're the beneficiary you could live life anger and resentful and bitter and not only do you lose the life of the person who's longer here but you forfeit your own life and therefore the people in your family didn't only lose that one member of the family if one sees themselves as a victim of Randomness or chance or remains angry and resentful and bitter then then their family members have lost a second person because we forfeit and we give away our own lives and we are the beneficiaries when we can put on those Amun gasses and still cry still feel sad Anda we've emphasized this over and over and we'll do it again somehow you keep back amuna does not mean amuna does not mean during Shiva you sing and you dance and you're happy because they're in a better place amuna you sit and you amuna means that during Shiva you sit you tear Crea you cry you're stricken with grief you're comforted and consoled because it stinks and it hurts and it's painful and it's traumatizing and a piece of you is gone it's okay but it means and that's the that's equinity goes all the way back to popularized it and we're all trying to live with it is that in this roller coaster of life from the moments of high I'm happy I'm singing I'm dancing to the moments of grief sitting on the floor crying and mourning leaning into those emotions genuinely feeling them and experiencing them but at the same time behind all of them informing and animating whatever we experience whatever emotion that we are overwhelmed with is the equinity the peace and the Tranquility of knowing it all comes from hasem it's from Hashem that I'm in pain right now and feel the pain and it's from Hashem that I'm happy in singing and dancing right now and sing and dance but it's not the RO radical roller coaster of I believe in him I don't believe in him he's real he's fake that's not the way we're meant to live life is someone who I love and admire but who's struggling in the relationship with Hashem and in in some obvious ways that are evident not participating is much and true and the and alike and when I asked him what's going on I miss you I don't see you so even though his life is overwhelmingly filled with enormous blessing enormous blessing there's one particular area that he's having a challenge and so because in that one particular area there's a challenge he's not sure is there a god does he love me I don't know what was the point of it all I would come i' early do and stay say extra things do what was the point of it all but our relationship with Hashem is not transactional our relationship with Hashem is not a quid proquo because then it's not in fact at all a relationship with Hashem if the whole relationship with Hashem is I do what I do because when I do he does what I want and we're not really in a relationship with Hashem in a marriage if we're only devoted we only demonstrate our love and our loyalty when the other party does what we want when we want how we want then we're not really in love with them who are we in love with ourselves ourselves you know when the love is really demonstrated when the RBA really meets the road is when you don't want to do what the other person wants you to do and it doesn't make sense to you whatsoever and you say but I love you so I'm in anyway I'm in that's love so am is not hasem you're on my checklist of things that I do so ter I go to work and I do this I do this and I also say and I rep and I do all my school is and he GB superstitions and then I'm supposed to earn a living and when I don't earn the living then I guess you're not real I guess you don't love me and I don't love you that's never that was never Amun in Hashem Amun Hashem is not our using Hashem as a item on our checklist to get what we want that's not amuna amuna is I take my I do my effort and I take my initiative and I love you and this is how I see things and I hope that you'll see things the same way I do and if you don't I'm in anyway and I love you anyway and I defer to you anyway and I Surrender and I submit to you anyway both because I love you and I'm grateful to you and because you're infinite omnipotent and I'm finite and failable and the choice between which of our perspectives I have no choice but to go with yours that's amuna that's amuna I said to this person who's going through the particular challenge first of all look at all the other enormous blessing in your life and I don't say that you know my friend Rabbi Leo D who I love and I'm still in touch with and who again is another walking role model of amuna he goes all over and he speaks often I didn't hear from wherever he is because he's so incredibly kind I owe him a a fee for promoting living with amuna so I'll mention the she living with amuna I hope he's not listening to this one and I'll talk about how even when he was in the hospital after that terror attack that cost him the lives of his wife and two of his daughters and before they were it was clear that they were killed you know or even after he said to himself but look I still have other children but look I still have this to be clear I almost want to follow up wherever he speaks to say I didn't tell it to him while he was going through this I would never say to somebody while they were experiencing a loss but look at everything else you have I would never ever ever ever ever ever say that he is drawing on from things that we've said and studied in other contexts that in that particular thing it's hard or that particular thing you wish you had and you don't but focus on what you do have that we say if your happiness is defined by what's missing you'll never be happy because there'll always be something else you could have and if your happiness is defined by what's there you'll always be happy because you always have something that's why the word we're now in the when we enter as we've spoken about not just when we enter when enters us we can expand the sense of sim what wherever you put your head whatever you're thinking about is so what do you think about what's missing there'll always be something missing I like to read the Forbes 400 like to see how many names I recognize how many names I can get access to I like to read the fors 400 it happens to be it's fascinating the fors 400 is really interesting because it has on it not only the 400 wealthiest people in America but it rates self-made a scale of 1 to 10 you know so if your last name was Walton you didn't rate very high on the self-made for example but but other people rank very high on the self-made where they earned it all themselves it also has a scale five stars of how charitable you are fascinating to me how many get one star half a star we're talking about you you can't get on the list if you don't have I think three billion dollars how can you not be charitable if you have three billion dollar you can give away so much and still take care of the rest of your family forever and you're not taking it with you I think Mike Bloomberg a yid former mayor of New York just announced he's leaving like 60 billion of his fortune to the foundation to charity because you could leave a few billion to your family they're set for life for everything they could ever need and still transform the world and anything you hold on to you don't get to take with you and what you gave away you keep for eternity so I I look at that and I'm like it's mindboggling right it's not a bunch of people who are on food stamps and they make $115,000 a year and it's a charity rating about how much they give you're talking about people that can give away enormous amount without it impacting their lifestyle and aoda and yet some people are half a star one star I want to go shake them I want to go find them why am I telling you this oh because the fors 400 the Forbes for you just got to come on this ride with me the forbs 400 because you know number 400 neb only has three million neb he wants to break into the top 100 and if you're in the top hundred you don't go out for dinner with your family you want to be in the top 10 and if you're in the top 10 but you didn't make it to number one and I think yesterday Bezos surpassed musk again I don't I'm not obsessed with tracking these things I happen to have seen it but right they're vying like who's number one who's number one in a category of having more money than most countries like it's not like you're not vying for who has more and can do more like you will each have enough but still so if your happiness is defined by what you don't have if you're number two you're not happy ah you have I don't even what the number is how many hundreds or tens of billions some obscene number but if you're number two you're not happy because there's something you don't have and if you're number one you're not happy you know why you want to be the first to a trillion but if your happiness is what you have then you're not only not on the list you're on the list of the 400 poorest people in America you could be number one on the list of the 400 poorest people in America but there are people neb that they're so poor all they have is money there are some people that are so poor all they have is money so who's richer there are people on the list of the 400 poorest people in America who are so much richer than the forbs 400 because if you're on the fors 400 your kids aren't talking to you and you've been divorced 13 times and you're miserable and you have to see the therapist 30 times a day and pop 400 pills just to make it to the end of every day no matter what it says in the bank account are you rich are you really rich so how is happiness to not when we turn the calendar page and enter other when other enters Us Al the one and only when we give him a when Hashem lives with us down here in this world where we look around Amun and we see him everywhere and we understand whatever happens it's him so now Mar now I'm along for the ride will I get the parking spot will I make the flight will I close the deal will the cougle turn out okay well how will we overcome this issue when will we finally conceive and have that child and I'm not making all those things equal at all but when they when living down here enters us now now now I can place my thoughts in my head now I can see the Bros that I have and now I could live with a little bit more happiness so there's two choices how to live life we can walk through and go through life with what's missing with anger and bitterness and misery and not only suffer whatever is not there but suffer also or we can lean in a you have a plan I don't know what it is but I need you now more than ever and that's what I told this individual my dear buddy that I love I said I got it you're bit you're angry at Hashem because the particular thing you're going through first of all look at the rest of your life health wealth the other NAS from other children yeah there's one particular issue so because of the particular issue you're going to therefore not recognize or be grateful for and Al actually sabotage everything else that's going on or instead of pulling back and pulling away do you lean in and say Hashem I'm not happy with you I don't agree with this Choice I'm angry but you got me into this you get me out and I'm not going to leave you until you do I'm not gonna stop talking to you knocking on your door storming the gates of your Heavens I'm not going to leave you alone because I don't know why I got it you're bigger you're everything I don't know why you did it this way but if you did it this way if you got us into it get us out of it so you could experience whatever challenge in life as an excuse to lean out or it can be the conduit it and the propeller that causes you to lean in and find closer than ever because what's the alternative who are you going to turn to who else are you gonna submit to what's the alternative to it so I'll read to you an article and then we'll finally learn o so late this is the 300th Amun here by the way ma today is number today's number 300 I have no idea the significance of that other than your oo and W 3 feel free to give a bonus to the global campaign in honor of the 300th or if you haven't yet joined to give so I want to read to you this article that came across my desk from a Simon Bas B the director of Jersey overseas aid the chair of the Jersey Heritage I don't know who he is I don't know anything about him other than this article that he wrote he says the following my favorite bit of statement ever comes from not a Brit or a Spartan of the Japanese emperor hiri hoto in August 1945 following Japan's defeats an every recent battle and the obliteration of Two Cities with nuclear bombs he broadcast that quote the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan's Advantage well I'm sorry to have to announce he writes that my cancer situation has developed not necessarily to my advantage last September I described in these Pages my diagnosis of throat cancer un liken my upcoming treatment to the journey to the South Pole sadly although the the chemo and radiation did a good job on the tumors of my throat and neck my lungs are now riddled with bloody things the prognosis is not quite don't buy any green bananas but it's pretty close to don't start any long books so it seems I'm going to probably sooner rather than later but many things give me Comfort at the minute the H support and compassion to my wife my job I'm so lucky to love and three related thoughts I have again and again which bring me joy which I'm writing this to share with you three thoughts that bring me joy he's got weeks the author of this shares to live first of all I take comfort with the thought that I've already had a really good almost Charmed Life I've dined with Lords and billionaires I've broken bread with the poorest people on Earth I've accomplished prodigious Feats of drinking I've allocated for several years personally delivered at least 100 million pounds worth of overseas aid I've been a Samaritan a policeman and got off an attempted murder charge in Vietnam by singing karaoke I've climbed the great P he lists a whole list of things that he's done and he's grateful instead of looking for how short his life is but grateful for the Charmed Life that he's lived at 46 I've lived far longer than most most of the humans in the long history of our species so have you probably and if the book of my life is shorter than many modern peoples it doesn't make it any less of a good read I want to read that again at 46 I've lived far longer than most of the humans in the history of our species so have you and if the book of my life is shorter than many modern peoples it doesn't make it any less of a good read length and quality are not correlated in lives any more than they are in novels or films so Carpe that DM and keep it carped and enjoy the tiny ways that you can make other people a little happier that's actually the secret of being happy oneself that's his first thought I don't know who he is but I'm grateful he wrote this my second comforting thought is this nobody knows whether there's a God we do or an afterlife we do but it seems unlikely to me that our existence is merely a brief and random flash of Consciousness between two eternities of nothing a benevolent Creator strikes me as no more farfetched than the latest efforts of physics to make sense of our world our almost instinct May well be be true we will what will survive of us is love and finally the thought I keep coming back to is how lucky it is to have lived at all to exist is to have won the lottery in fact there are many bits of extraordinary UNL unlikely good luck that have occurred just for us to be born that's that it's like hitting the jackpot every day of the year consider some of them there's nothing rather there is something rather than nothing the laws of physics the strength of forces the mass of an electron are poison precisely so stars and planets can form in adomant star dust somehow combin to become self-replicating and then somehow develop further into complex life and then complex life didn't just stop at Ferns and Fishes but evolved into creatures that are aware of their conditions matter became conscious of itself of all the billions of people in the world your parents met and merged and of all the sperm and eggs they produced it's a billion to one shot just on its own the only two that would make you fused and multiplied it's unbelievable of all the billions of people in the world your parents met and merged and if you know the sh system that's really a miracle miracle in its own right of all the sperm and egg they produced this is a billion to one shot just on its own the only two that would make you fused and multiplied if the moment you were conceived had been any different at all a week later or you wouldn't have been born for the Staggering and probability of you just being here to read this in physical and biological ter has added our good fortune in where and when we live to have he's born in Western Europe is itself to have won he says first prize in the lottery of life we could debate that and we live in the longest year of Peace in human history where our chances of dying from disease or violence are lower than ever before even with this war raging I'm heading on we also live in an age of extraordinary abundance the poorest of us richer than any medieval King in terms of access to food energy care transport knowledge and Justice so if I wh that my life will have been shorter than many modern peoples I am massively missing the point of existed for 46 years it is it's as chish as winning the eurom Millions jackpot and then complaining bitterly when you discover that there's another winning ticket and you'll only get half the money life is inordinately precious unlikely and beautiful you are Exquisite when you say as you do 20 times a day I'm fine realize that you don't just mean I'm adequate you are fine capital f i NE refined unique finely crafted fine dining Fine China you really are fine in that sense too we say it all the time but unknowingly we speak the truth we should be dazzled by our Good Fortune dancing on the tables every day and I mean to keep dancing whatever time I have left here and who knows perhaps afterwards as well so I don't know I guess Jersey is not next to New York where I grew up but Jersey is uh in Europe but I thought it was powerful and worth sharing let's finish up this mimer even more powerful and worth worth sharing Torah of of course always our greatest source and our real learning so if you have a copy have if you don't listen great R of the got up in the middle of the Y war and gave several several gave several talks to the Mir Bas Med and we learned half of the sixth one last week we spoke about is KES the metaphor of husband and wife the romantic love we have with a the ultimate metaphor is not master and slave King and subject parent and child but of all the metaphors that each have some semblance of Truth and are meant for us to connect with Hashem but the ultimate metaphor is a husband and wife love love and longing and knowledge and intimacy which we developed all last week so just like in marriage some of us have to do better with it it's about the time that we dedicate and and the conversation the communication and the and the accessibility and the exposure and the connection that we form soem says don't say you love me but not spend time with me don't say you love me but never talk to me don't say you love me but spend time and talk but never really let me in if you really love me if we're in a relationship let me hear your voice make time for me talk to me tell me be vulnerable with me talk to me and we saw that's why he made our our matriarchs Barren because too often what wakes us up to finally talk to him is when everything's just going hunky dory everything's going well and ordinary we don't have time when we're in Christ and and even when everything is going well which is when we should easiest and most run to thank him we also don't have time and we forget and when does everyone wake up there are no atheists a fox in a foxhole in that Foxhole there are no atheists everyone wakes up and we're seeing that now not with any criticism with beauty every Soldier putting on TI and and singing and dancing to because in crisis everybody finds their voice to talk to Hashem so sometimes Hashem says if I haven't heard from you and the only way that you'll remember I'm here and start talking to me is the crisis here's a little crisis to make you open your mouth and start talking so how do you avoid a crisis don't stop talking to him if we don't need to be woken up or interrupted or have our lives disrupted to be reminded to talk to him then he doesn't need to do it and it's not as simple a calculation as that obviously but overall that is a theme that that kazal gave us that notion that says I want to hear your voice so when you talk to me we're all good but if you don't there are neb some marriages that hit such a low that there's an ultimatum that there's a crisis in the marriage because you're not devoted you're not dedicated you're not putting in the time you're not being vulnerable You're not being devoted you're not communicating and then there's a disruption so the best way to avoid the crisis and the disruption is to have the ingredients of the healthy relationship and that's true with Hashem as well we're halfway down third to the last paragraph that's says says me I sh nice to meet you I'm God and in case you forgot I'm the one who took you out of Egypt meaning I'm the one who got you out of your last crisis so I'd like to remind you that I'm here last time you needed someone who' you call you called me and I want you to realize you could make all the other calls send all the other WhatsApp texts and emails you could go to all the other addresses but in the end of the day there's only one who's going to Greenlight that salvation and that help and that is me just like you saw in Egypt with all the efforts to liberate yourself to emancipate yourself with all the efforts and initiatives which we have to take and have it is only when we cried and called out and he heard that he gave us the green light so in every circumstance if you're sick you have to go to the doctor you have to take the medicine you have to do the reab you have to take the therapy but doing all those things without Hashem deciding that they work won't get you anywhere you have to ask Hashem now hasem says don't just ask me also go do those things you have to have an army they're heroic Fighters they're extraordinary incredible they deserve all our support and our love but whether Hashem helps their plan to be able to bring home hostages and defeat enemies and be able to end this war it's all up to right widen your lips your mouth speak ask me so so here he's what it means this is what said to cried in Egypt bondage and suffering and persecution said no we're out of here let's go follow me then they find themselves with the sea in front of them the Egyptians behind them and they're frozen and they cry again and Hashem says yeah we did this already you spoke to me I got it and now I've given you the path to split the sea but you have to do your part start walking they fulfilled the Tas the goal why were we in Egypt why did we go through that crisis why did we suffer in order to wake us up so that we would cry out and call out to him we fulfilled that goal that but still they were in a state of Darkness sometimes and it feels like this since October 7th for five months we've been living in a state of light and darkness mixed together there are moments in pness of deep Darkness profound Darkness but there are also pockets of beautiful radiating magnificent light aus stories of heroism people of extraordinary Faith there's Darkness and Light mixed together and for a yid for a Jew there always is they go together they're not binary either or but often and always the two are mixed together there's Darkness but there's a light within the darkness and the light it's not fully light there's some Darkness it's what we call Bittersweet there's a lot of bitter sweetness bitter sweetness sure take a because right after being spared and saved the Jewish people complained to Moshe what they no graves in Egypt they to take us out here to die here you had to bring us here and this is what comes out you also find this in the war that we fought with with because quotes the back in when aik attacked us from behind and we're about to Mark the story we're going to read is coming up we're gonna remember that you know why we're gonna remember it never forget because they're still at it they're still fighting that war wonders because there yua is leading the battle they're on the front lines heroic soldiers wearing the titas and the that were distributed singing and dancing to and mosha is back and what's his contribution to the war he lifts his hands and when he lifts his hands they win and he lowers his hands they lose and the gamor Wonders yeah it's that simple why don't we do that right now let's find it's not that simple because we would debate and never agree on who the person should be at least with Moshe and even Moshe had his detractors even Moshe had his detractors it's it's remarkable want to acknowledge that president of President Burman is waiting for me to finish but I uh that he's here so he will agree it's reassuring when you read the Milla that Mori saves all shushan there's an attempt to exterminate the Jewish people and morai heroically and courageously saves shushan and shortly after there's a vote on his contract and he's he gets a majority most of the people like yeah we should keep him he saves the Jews from extermination Moshe too PES P it's next week when they accuse him of of stealing from the coffers you know oh they did well on the global campaign and must have pocketed some of that on his own paying for all these trips you know so so Moshe also everybody it's I find it at least reassuring and comforting so we would never agree today who it should be but if it's that simple let's find somebody when they lift their hands we'll win when they lower their hands we we'll lose it wasn't about M's hands it wasn't some hbgb magic Superstition suula it was one we Remembered in addition to supporting and donating and making barbecues for and celebrating and honoring and serving and caring about those on the front line we remember that the ultimate General the general of generals the one who determines and decides whether their efforts are successful it's him don't leave that most important and deciding ingredient out and when we looked up and remembered we won and when we looked down because his hands got tired and we forgot despite the greatest efforts the most courageous and heroic people then we struggled and lost his hands being up and His Hands being down and our remembering and our forgetting and our winning and our losing says it was all the same he's talking it's the yra war the yra war how many hundreds of thousands of graves were dug in anticipation how much fear there that would be a Mass Slaughter and that's what he talking to aitz who by the way and I'll end with this of lansi was here thanks to University this weekend when he me into the question answer with some of us he said that every single year on yum Kipper night he told us every year on yum Kipper night got up the end of mar before and he said the following three things that we have to have in mind spoke about three things Soviet jury he was very dedicated to Soviet jury he said the holy precious IDF soldiers who are fighting and protecting us and number three the D for the Rus of Israel because there are people who want to under and corrupt and compromise it lanski pointed out that numbers two and three were not a contradiction they were both true at the same time and that's the M that the miror lansi that we that is obvious to us all have of course to DAV for and care about but the the notion of the light in the darkness simultaneously the hero heroism and the courage and the Faith with the loss and the and the grief and the tragedy with the looking up but also looking down and the winning and the losing of ends the final the final of the he gave during the war once hasem heard their voice they fulfilled the purpose and they won the war and that is the power the power of when we can come together and one of the ingredients among the many things that we have to do in our doing is also to lean in and to connect and to storm the gates of sham to not slow down and to never allow fatigue to set in and to keep appealing and begging and controlling and pleading that it's enough it's enough can't have any more headlines cleared for publication it's enough never again we got it this crisis was to wake us up to use our voice we're using it collectively and hopefully Still Still and it should never unravel it should endure with a sense of unity and please God in that Merit in that Merit hostages should come home and the war should end the soldiers should return to their families we're off next week we resume the week after please remain for to hilum please come take in memory of eim Jackman please come take one and there's a CommunityWide event announce this Thursday night