Living With Emunah (Part 266) - Break Free From What is Enslaving You

welcome back to living with emuna as always a big thank you to our ministry sponsors Dr zavian Bella Morgan who sponsored the series of memory run by Dr Brian galbot in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen shanzer a big thank you to the Morgans also Shear responsible memory of Dr Jacob M Hiller who exemplified and modeled how to live with we are still learning as we are on the cusp of the moon this is the yantif of emuna it's not the yantif of cleaning from cooking for pesach we do all of those things in order to create an environment of pesach it is the yantev of Faith the night of faith it is a night not of information it is a night of transformation to be able to come to and sit at and leave our seder table entirely different people than the ones who came to review the stories of amuna and I think that's an amazing exercise for all of us among the preparations that we're making for pesos not just to buy the little toys to put out for the eser Marcos the ten plagues and not just to work on your Famous pesach Recipes or to chop up the Haro says but to come to the table and say how will we leave with greater Faith what stories will we share with one another about Divine Providence about hashem's guiding hand in our lives what story we will tell about our own Journey from Galas to gulullah because all about seeing ourselves as going from a position of it it's okay if I use your dwar Torah ever hear from the Seder mitzrayim is mitsar constrained narrow it's from a place of feeling confined No Way Out we've all had that feeling medically or with health with illness God forbid financially burdened no idea I will pay the bills or put the next meal on the table relationship felt like it's going to crumble or implode how will we Salvage this relationship feel like the walls are caving in and closing in the ceiling is falling it's getting more narrow mitzrayim is not just a geographic description the time is not just a place of coordinates that you put into Waze or Google Maps that's rhyme is a mindset mates are mates are means a straight narrow confined restricted place the walls are caving in you got out of it you got out of it you mentioned the other data for many many years too few but many years we had the privilege of Hosting Martin jurovitz at our seder table Martin is an incredibly special man and when we got to bahisha amda we'd pause we'd stop we turned him as we did with your grandparents who were survivors for years before and they would tell stories even if the rest of the year they had no voice the rest of the year they had no interest they had no capacity to tell the stories of the War years of their suffering of their mitzrayim of their survival of genocide and extermination which was paralleled and surpassed the servitude of Egypt but pesach Knight they found their voice which is also what pesach's all about pesach the Ariza says comes from the words per the mouth that speaks because you see when you are in servitude I wasn't planning on saying any of this this is just this is just good morning welcome happens to be so many of the mittens of the night revolve around speaking we recite the hagada tell stories communicate transmit call a Marabella speak as much as you can go on and on and on new tell me more let's stay up even later call a marble supper that's what makes it most other nights you're like could you shut it down could you turn it off good enough shine let's go to sleep we've had enough where's the off button no more tell me more talk to me more more stories more about your life more insights more of what you have to say the whole night is about speaking and speaking and talk talking and talking and we don't we don't stop we don't let up the more you do the more praiseworthy it is why what's the association between the mouth that speaks why is it the holiday of speaking because a Slave a slave is silenced a slave can't express their opinion A Slave can't uh put themselves forward represent themselves advocate for themselves a slave is not entitled to an opinion the slave can't disagree a slave is silenced tragically there are people in relationships that their voice is silence they're not allowed to offer their opinion they're not allowed to have a different perspective it's never allowed to go their way that's a relationship that needs Redemption it needs a Gula it needs work but in mitraim physical slaves literally have no opinion they are subservient not only physically but spiritually emotionally mentally to their Master don't have an opinion don't raise your voice don't say what you think nobody cares it has no impact so how do we celebrate freedom and liberty start speaking and now is not the time but you can Google you'll find the literature of after the Holocaust how many people started to speak they wanted to talk they wanted to speak even more than they craved satisfying their physical appetite and hunger and starvation was the starvation of the capacity to speak and to speak freely and to speak proudly and to speak confidently and to be able to voice an opinion to be able to voice a vision to be able to forge a destiny so that's Freedom that's the night of freedom freedom is the ability to speak and what do we want to speak about what do we want to tell the story of the more we speak about seeing Hashem feeling Hashem identifying Hashem connecting to Hashem then hamanti the more a Muna we feel so dafka that night of emuna what are we supposed to sit around and talk about I'm on a big kick I haven't been successful yet not any year and we'll see if this year but my big kick my bold suggestion is embrace the incredible hagadas our children come home with our teachers are amazing they're creative they work tirelessly they're amazing and we should thank them and we should give them a gift for pesach and we should tell them how incredible the Hagar is and we should look at it this Shabba Shabbos or the lunches of the three Deonte vapesach but we should not bring it to the Seder table why because these agadas are filled with vortlock and camatrias and highfalutin fancy debrator and kids compete it's not my it's not fair you got to say 17 I only said 16 of my divoritorah I didn't read this paragraph yet I didn't say over that thing yet do they even understand what they're necessarily saying in the midst of the night the midst of the night is for us to tell them the story and to engage them in conversation and to engage them in the themes of freedom and liberty and what it means to be free and if you're addicted to technology or to keeping up or to having the most friends or followers then are you really free what is freedom and do we have it in our time and what is generosity and dayenu when is die when is it enough and when do we always crave more and when is it dayenu when are we grateful what's the connection between freedom and gratitude and there's so many themes that we have to talk about is amazing but who has time for it at the say to the two many more important things you got to talk about at the Seder too many more important things to talk about we gotta tell stories gotta tell you an entire year an entire lifetime we have to tell you our entire family tree worth of stories of utsius I have to tell you about the great great great great great grandparents how they survive what they got out of the program they lived in kitchenev my great-great-grandfather arrived at kitchen of the day after the great kitchen at pogram he got off the train he didn't know where all the Jews were he couldn't find anyone he thought he was in the wrong City he came to attend what was then the famed Yeshiva of kishinev but he didn't know it was the day after the pogrom that wiped out so many and kishinev and it's all Story how do I know that story I never met him it happens to be I went to kishnev but I never met him how do I know that story because that's our job is to tell these stories going as far back as we can and in order to ensure as far forward as we can these stories will be told so pesach lunch is a great time to go through these I got us Shabbos arts and crafts see the gamatras see the pretty pictures hear the incredible insights they're great but don't let them detract or distract from what they said or not there's too many important things that we've got to talk about so anyway that's a way of saying good morning good morning that's why we have living with a Muna even though we all have a lot we've got to do ladies I'm with you for face I'm on the women's team I got a lot to do I got to cook up drushas I got to cook up showers Russia I got a lot of questions I have to answer I got a lot to do too I'm on your team I'm on your side so uh but still we have how could you not have living with amuna right before the moon so whatever you do don't don't just take out the Great China don't judge says don't just make your family's Famous Recipe make sure that you stop and think what are the stories I'm gonna tell from this year from this week from this month from this Lifetime on this yanteva Muna what's my story is it's not enough leros you don't just have to see yourself that's why I fired him ever been to as far as fired him over at yours they take a little pekko they put it on a stick they hold it over their shoulder they walk around they have a whole Negan they've all sung they sing while they walk around because the ramam's gear says not that you just sit there looking like some Ashkenazi schlub lying sideways you get up and you walk around and you demonstrate you're putting on a play you're putting on a play it's not just it's like I left Egypt not just a little Ashkenazi it's like I left Egypt I'm demonstrating I'm leaving Egypt come who's in who's with me we're getting out we're going let's go that's what this yantif is cover let's get out of our Egypt let's get out of our mitzvahim our mates are what's holding you back what are you enslaved what are you oppressed what are you persecuted by what is it what are you addicted to and I don't use that word lightly foreign what are the things that we feel oppressed and persecuted by bit bitterness and resentment and negativity and anger and envy we're holding on to there'll be prisoners to it what are we prisoners to what are we addicted to and how this pesach are we going to go free how are we going to take a journey deep into ourselves leros's absmos has finally see ourselves and the Harris's atsmo and to let others see who we are and we're going to break free of our mitzrayim and how are we going to do it how are we going to do it best only if we see him only if we welcome him only if we surrender to him we're stuck and we can't move there's a reason that the recovery world with its success is predicated on submitting to the higher power the only way that you can set yourself free is trading don't be a slave to a person or a substance or a behavior be a slave to him be a slave to him that's what it is all about tonight I'm on the Bima we have an honor of opening week of baseball we have Daryl strawberry the great Yankee who apparently played for the Mets before he was on the Yankees something in 86. I'm just joking he was a big met champion but as much as he was a baseball Champion he struggled with substance abuse which really derailed his life and we'll talk tonight about recovery and faith in God and His discovery of God and with it his love of the Jewish people and his love of Israel that often goes with it his loyalty to the Jewish people and to Israel whatever is holding us back whatever is that mates are whatever is making you feel the walls are caving in it's only when you realize he's in charge he's in control I do my initiative I do my best but only when I welcome him only when I walk with him only when I talk to him and only when I hear him talking to me then I'll be able to overcome and I'll be over I'll be able to be able to uh walk and get through whatever it is that I'm that I'm going through okay all that was a way of saying good morning I got my money email to read to you and then we'll get back into our text I've been listening to your show the last couple of years I'm going to help me build a stronger connection to Hashem a greater perspective on the ups and downs of daily life not many days go by where I don't think something I've learned from the sheer and mentioned a lesson to my husband or children I know most of the emails you do they share my very powerful experiences and make everyone Cry by everyone this person means me I want to share a more everyday moment but one that also shows how a moon has truly become an active practice for me and I share it with you because I do think it's a great example right the Moon is not just in these huge critical moments where there was a crisis there was a catastrophe we dug deep we found Hashem and it got me through it this is her story I grew up in South Florida I won't say where is my four children with my husband in whatever it is I told you my two older daughters a recent high school graduates and now live in your Shalom one of my daughters coming out the US for a visit when he plans to visit our family in South Florida months before the trip as we're planning our activities I let my mother know I would like to borrow a car early Wednesday to drive to Boca to attend living with them when in person I heard they have great coffee I promise if I'd be back by lunch we put on other activities around my absence Monday morning I was so excited see the shoes drinking the coffee from a caffeinate with kavana cup let me a little little product a little product placement over here for those who are watching and feel the energy of the live Shear my whole family was so excited for me finally I'd get to really be part of the sheer that means so much to me we arrived in South Florida on a Sunday on a Monday morning I got an email from the shul living in the middle was rescheduled that week from Wednesday to Thursday remember a few weeks ago I had a wedding I was away we rescheduled I immediately sent an email to the family WhatsApp group letting everyone know my husband and kids were so disappointed for me they sent the sweetest message my daughter's flight back to Israel was from Miami on Thursday morning and said Mom just go on Thursday of course not seeing sending her off was out of the question at a different time pre-living with the moon I would have been really crushed I would have been disappointed after all my planning and waiting why didn't things work out the way I wanted why did things have to change why me I would have felt frustration but this time I didn't I was calm said to my family the whole point of this year is to teach us to accept moments like this it wasn't meant for me to attend this year I'll do something else that morning and I did I took my 10 year old son to the pool we had the best time together so thanks for the opportunity to build my muscle for withstanding disappointment it's much easier to put into perspective missing an event I was looking forward to then something with much more significant consequences but when the time comes and it always does I'll have good practice with the smaller things in life and that's because I'm learning how to practice I'm going to daily by participating in this year so it's a great email it's a great example it's not always the major crises and catastrophes and God forbid they should never come but if they do we'll be better positioned to withstand them when we work at that amuna muscle in the more daily disappointments there are small little disappointments in life the disappointments that we go through in life so like when you come home and you're expecting certain Shoppers leftovers to be there and you were so excited all day that you were going to eat them and then you open the fridge and it turns out someone got to them before you and there was nothing left the leftover jerky from jobs and there was nothing left so either your world can implode you could throw a fit you could off with someone's head or you could say this should be my biggest disappointment Hashem it was not meant to be for me to eat that so that is a purely hypothetical example back in Te vayamuna we've been talking about the connection the relationship between anger and a lack of emuna which by the way is a pesach theme too because who is somebody who has anger management problems and they stem from not seeing Hashem is Paro Paro and the Egyptians the less you see and feel and welcome Hashem into your life the more that you'll swell with anger the more rage will overcome you the more you'll lash out and you will sabotage relationships and business opportunities in your life the famous stipler everybody knows this but I'll repeat the words so you could say that you're say the table as a reminder the second Maka of fardea of frogs the message tells us these were very unusual frogs why because the Frog if you would strike if you'd hit the Frog what happened and multiplied one became two if you hit the frogs two became four four became eight little Gremlin frogs if you hit them if you fed them after midnight they became they multiplied so the stapler gone kaneyevsky's father the steepler asks parents he said I understand the first time an Egyptian tried to catch a frog and he hit the Frog and the Frog he didn't know it would multiply so he saw low involved and multiplied so maybe he thought it was a fluke so he did it again and it multiplied Again by the second by the third time long before it became a plague and frogs were in his bed on his head on his nose and his toes long before it got to that point of a song shouldn't the Egyptians have stopped hitting the frogs shouldn't they have seen the correlation between every time we hit they multiply we're bringing this plague upon ourselves shouldn't they have stopped much sooner much earlier on asks the stipler and he has an incredible insight into the human psyche he says that's the power and the danger of anger anger is so pernicious anger is so destructive anger sabotages because the clouds our judgment and it compromises our thinking and when a person is filled with rage and anger and by the way anatomically this is true again I never understood they put the person in the MRI machine then they anger them so they could take the brain scan to see what happens or do they find someone angry and say quick come with us and put them in the machine I don't know how they do these things but the way the blood flows in your brain the animal parts of the brain light up and the human thinking parts of the brain shut down because we've become flight or fight or flight we become animals rage we stop thinking we have no judgment and what happens we sabotage our own success we bring a plague upon ourselves I told you a couple weeks ago this interview I heard with this incredibly successful person successful successfully is all the money in the world the notoriety and he's a coach to Fortune 500 CEOs and he mentions at the end of the podcast by the way I got divorced recently after my 18-year marriage and three children because my wife had warned me if I don't conquer my anger she simply can't do it even though she loves me and she left me and this coach this manager this person who seems to have it all together his anger sabotaged his life all that money and all that Fame and all that success and all that honor but what's it worth he doesn't have his family intact and all together because Paro didn't see Hashem he says Hi here's our card we represent the Lord Almighty we're here to represent him and he has a message to you he says I'm sorry who do you represent he says you know look God the Lord Almighty whatever you want to call him and power says Hashem I never heard of him I don't know him I'd never met him I've never seen him I don't know who you're talking about and in fact the native others say the whole curriculum of the plagues divided into three parts is a curriculum hi I'm God it's nice to meet you I control nature it's a whole curriculum I'm God it's nice to meet you and by the end Paro acknowledges and invokes hashem's name he says I guess there's a Hashem so the same power who goes the Nile to relieve himself because he pretends he's a deity and he worships the Nile and he thinks he himself is a God and therefore because he denies God in his life and he thinks he's in charge and then control and he thinks he can micromanage everything flies off the handle and gets angry and refuses to hear or see God in his life and he brings about 10 plagues had he just listened and heard and don't ask right now that Hashem hardened his heart it's a great question for another time but had he simply listened to the message of the universe and the almighty we're sending him he wouldn't have brought plagues upon his home and how many of us in anger and rage and ego bring plagues upon our home and our family and our relationships and our lives because we can't control our anger says there is a direct correlation and connection when ego Edge got out when you edge got out of your life you fill with anger when you fill with anger you undermine you sabotage your own life you bring plagues onto your home and onto your family well they must run the second paragraph of a page is where does salvation come from how can you transform yourself and be a different person how can you save that relationship how can you save that business how can you save that partnership how can you save that blood pressure how can you save that life how can you save your health let them in let them in see him feel and talk to him hear him talking to you surrender submit him and then his salvation comes clarifying it comes like the blink of an eye okay these have imagination which we'll read on pesaches we were only redeemed from Egypt in the Merit of a little bit of amuna we had we were on the lowest level of tumma we were promiscuous and licentious we were acting immorally unethically but you know what under all that inappropriateness and breach of boundaries there was a little we cried out to Hashem at least from our lowliness at least in our distance at least we called out we called out to him we hit what in that world we call Rock Bottom and from Rock Bottom from Rock Bottom which is not our best selves from Rock Bottom we call that Hashem we need you I Surrender I can't do this without you you're in charge you're in control I'm Letting Go I'm along for the ride now I'm ready now I'm ready and that was this by the way I didn't plan this I'm embarrassed to tell you I didn't even look at this until just now that the text that we're reading happens to be about pesos what a coincidence right there are no coincidences everything is from above everything is redemption in your life comes when you start to have faith it was true then and it's true now that's why revolver says what's the bracha that we say right before the amida I take three steps forward and I said Hashem I Surrender you're in charge give me daas give me forgiveness give me healing give me paranasa all the 13 requests we're up to consider Snippets see what I just did there everything over 13 requests that we're up to in the sitter Snippets that are the core of the amida what's the bracha we make right before we take those three steps forward like Penner said a few weeks ago Hashem is only three steps away what is the broccoli we say right before those three steps Hashem Israel Hashem you redeem the Jewish people okay what does that do with anything why are we saying that now isn't it enough okay we got it you're the Redeemer you're the Redeemer good I've only given enough credit enough times three times a day seven days a week yeah we got it you redeemed us thank you haven't we said thank you enough why do we have to does he need to hear it so many times he needs his ego Strokes so many times we got it thank you yes it was your idea yes you did it yes thank you we got it got all your straw why do we have to keep making that brother you know why because you're about to take three steps forward and say I'm in a crunch I'm gonna bind the world's not caving in I need your help why should we believe he's gonna be there where's the evidence he's the one who can help take us out the answer Israel once and God Israel again so right before I take those three steps forward and I ask you for help I remember we don't do that in human life we go to someone we say you remember once I was in a bind and you helped me out I'll never forget and I'm telling you how several years ago I needed a connection with a doctor several years ago I needed a loan to just help pay some bills to get me through pesach several years ago I needed a shoulder to cry on and I've never forgotten you were there for me and thank you you know why I'm telling you that right now because I need it again and by reminding myself and you that you did it I'm hoping you'll do it again so we say God you throw right before the amida not because he needs to hear it we say it because we need to hear it we need to remember that the reason that he's the one that we are surrendering to and burdening ourselves too is because he did it before and he'll do it again so anytime you're in a bind anytime you feel those walls caving in anytime you're in your own with try him not only on pesach we have a Mitzvah remember leaving Egypt every day we say in Shema we have a Mitzvah to remember leaving Egypt every week that's one of the themes of Shabbos we are obsessed as my children one of them obsessed with we are obsessed with the theme of leaving Egypt we got it we left Egypt it's enough it's thousands of years ago enough let's talk about today no we're not done because that is forever the archetype that is forever the model that is forever the precedent that we go back to mitzrayim is not just a geographic place it is a state of mind it is a experience whenever you are in a mitraim a Mazar he took us out and when we need to be taken out again what was the Merit that he took us out then the Merit and what does the Merit I'll take us out now whatever bind you're in lean on him surrender to him recognize him and with it when we're redeemed when we're released what a joy what a song what are we going to sing at the end of pesach seventh day The Eighth Day in the song when it all comes together and it all makes sense we're able to work it all out in Kane so who would want to get angry or worship idols or try to micromanage this world just learn from our history so we're not doomed to repeat it and realize that the sooner we make space for him the sooner our life will have a personal redemption in life and the more we Edge God out because we think it's about our ego the more we will burden and be imprisoned and be enslaved to Masters in slavery of our own making sure listen to that sentence through anger when you demonstrate anger when you fail to conquer anger you are demonstrating you are testifying made your anger is the testimony of a thousand witnesses that you are far from believing in Hashem if you get angry if you rage if you speak harshly to others all you're doing is telling the world you don't believe in him that's what you're doing You're simply demonstrating for the world to see or whoever is the recipient or subject of your anger to know that you are you are far from amuna in Hashem um and because you're so far from him you're also so far right now from Redemption and salvation so when you are the recipient of the target of anger instead of we spoke about this a few moments ago in the 10 minutes of meeting instead of you know matching that and now you escalate it the decibel levels in the fight and the yelling and the text messages don't pity the person feel pity for the person because if that person could feel that way and act that way and lash out that way and rage that way how unhappy are they with themselves how big is the hole in their heart how far from Hashem are they so feel bad for them I'm not saying you should tolerate it or accept being treated that way it's a separate conversation how to respond on how to react and what to do to navigate that relationship but try to Pivot to a place of pity that a person who could act or behave that way how big is the hole in their heart how unhappy are they with their life how far are they from Hashem and how far are they from Redemption for the Redemption that they need no matter how much else they have they're so far from happiness and from Redemption because how far they are from Hashem so Daven for them when somebody has lashed out with you with anger they wrote that text or that email they told you off in front of a group of people but somebody yelled with anger and rage stop them for them diamond for the Redemption they'd be redeemed the dive is the Lord all year long all year long it comes to Google we'll do one more paragraph quickly Redemption only comes in the Merit of faith in him you want to be your best self you want to live your best life you want to bring about your best reality the secret the answer the formula is emuna it's many other things too it's not just emuna you're not going to earn more income by sitting on the couch and having a Muna you might you might you never know where it's going to come from how it's going to happen we need to take initiative two you're not going to heal your illness by not going to the doctor or doing the therapy or taking the medicine but by just having a Muna it might but we believe you have to take initiative too but the secret The Secret Sauce the secret ingredient to any success in life is Redemption we want Redemption whenever we are enslaved to whatever we're suffering from whatever mates are we're living under the Redemption comes through these are pretty like Hashem or low through strengthening a Muna we Merit that Hashem is a light for us you want to be your best self your most productive self your most efficient self you want to be your best selfie or have your best relationships live your best life it's only when Hashem is by your side if you think you can do it Hashem you think you could do it all alone you think you do it pridefully and independently you can't and you won't your best life and your best self is only with him by your side so again that we should this should be our holiday of redemption we don't have to wait till next Wednesday night you can redeem yourself today that's the theme of peace and that's our mission teachers I love you the greatest thank you for all the work on the hagaras I'm not trying to put them out of work I'm just saying we got to take back the Seder we gotta take back the Seder night it's not a matter of how many turns they took and how much they read and how far they got through and how late we finished it's not a competition who finished the latest when I was a kid and still now you get to show that next morning no time did you finish it's nothing 3am you know that's not a competition not a competition it should be know how much were you transformed how different are you how much did you break free how much did you break free and liberate yourself from the prison of your life you never hear anyone to Shoal that extra money talk about that yeah questions and answers and everything is about the Curiosity of the children curiosity of the children was I'm curious do you have another Vitara in that the kagada it's not the Curiosity of the parents trying to invoke the Curiosity of the children so the thought you have a week that's your homework for the next week how are we going to invoke the Curiosity of the children how are we going to stimulate the conversations we're meant to have how are we going to have a Seda which is transformational transformative not just informative with lots of fancy divretora what stories are we going to tell what stories do we want to hear what will we assign others to come and share their story everyone's got a story I may speak about this we had a couple weeks ago on behind the bimara by kalish by kalish it was fantastic it was like a tease we only had him for 15 minutes we got to have them for 15 hours of behind the bema but he spoke about how every human being is a story he spoke about again I may come back to this on pesach he had heard a big Rabbi recently say that he spoke over that year I forgot what the number was to 3 000 teenagers so Michaela said I would have been much more impressed if you told me that you listened last year to 3 000 teenagers that's right Michael is in a nutshell that story that Insight I would have been much more impressed if you told me not that you spoke to 3 000 teenagers but that you listened to 3 000 teenagers he said there are eight billion people on the planet and there are eight billion stories they have to tell everyone is a story are we curious where is Hashem in each of our stories that's the Seder Knight that's this I can't wait I'm so excited the people gone away to hotels and you can't hear each other and they're in big spaces if you have to do that I'm so sorry for you nebuch I feel for you Mr shami should break through and have a good Pace nonetheless if you're lucky enough to stay home are you at your table with your people at your pace and your environment and your conversation and your timeline of bringing the food you're among the lucky together let's offer it's Fila for the people who have to go away anyway wishing everyone until next time till after yontiff stay happy stay healthy and stay home thank you