Living With Emunah (Part 264) - Definition of Successful Life

good morning Booker told welcome back to living with emuna thank you so much for your flexibility this week in moving our share to today Hashem been traveling for symbols we should continue to travel only for simcas and have to adjust for it our money sure is generously sponsored by Dr Xavi and Bella Morgan and memory of everybody Dr Brian galbot in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen shanzer we remain very grateful to the Morgans for all that they do this morning sure is also sponsored by Benjamin shandelson in memory of his maternal grandmother the second year outside is coming up the 27th of Adar so beautiful that he did that for his grandmother thank you to Ben chandelson for that generosity and lastly we are at the tail end hopefully that's really up to you of our annual Global campaign if you are a BS member if you are a BRS member you are more than doing your part and we are grateful for you if you're not a BRS member but you benefit from what BRS produces the content you watch you listen you read you enjoy please let us know by enabling us and supporting us to continue to provide it today Thursday March 16th today yeah we have a very special opportunity somebody is generously matching dollar per dollar everything that comes in today towards the global campaign even if you gave give again because whatever you give will be matched today by a generous donor so please take a moment BRS online dot org slash Global and contribute contribute more contribute again and it will be matched also tonight 8 P.M special time we are having a special Marathon live edition of behind the bema from eight so who knows what time will end we have an incredible incredible guest Lori palatnik Alex flexer Rabbi David beshevkin Rabbi Arya Leibowitz Rabbi Danielle kalish these are all confirmed guests for tonight and some surprise guests who you don't even know maybe I don't even know who are going to be joining us maybe we'll get the rabbits in to come on who wants to hear the rabbit said I'm behind the view there we go anyway all of that is tonight beginning at 8pm special time Thursday night 8 P.M special Marathon Edition where also all the gifts that are given will be announced and a dollar for dollar match okay with that we begin at Muna so I'm grateful I continue to get beautiful emuna emails to be able to share with us all of us it gives us that what we're learning is not academic it's not it's not uh theoretical or conceptual it's practical it can practically change our lives when we are in those moments of Crisis big or small when we focus and lean in and realize this is where we're meant to be and how it's meant to go then we can then we can carry on trust in God and carry on I'm not going to read all of them I'm not going to read them fully but I will tell you someone who attends our munisher I won't say her name but shared on per morning your husband and she were delivering 36 baskets on behalf of BRS they drove on a street where six boys were playing the middle of the street ranging from five to two years old they did not move as they approached husband got arrested to move we came back one boy about four stood in front of the car refused to move finally agreed to move she should have then began to drive I should have moved my car forward Hashem I did not well I should have been driving straight I was still holding my foot on the brake when I saw a little boy two years old running an inch in front of the car past the driver's side of the car to the other side of the street he was so small I did not see him out the front window of the car until he passed my driver's side window it seemed after the four-year-old went to the right the two-year-old decided to dash across the street from the right side I did not want to think what could have happened there were no parents or teenagers watching I'm grateful to Hashem watching out for all those that nobody got injured sometimes you have to thank Hashem when a when a disaster is averted the miracle of safety security every time you drive from point A to point B and you arrive safely there's a miracle a car is a lethal machine some of the other drivers in Florida you know I think it's Seinfeld's routine you know what the state of the the symbol of the State of Florida it's a steering wheel with two Knuckles you know like that's that's Florida so if you get from point A to point B and you survive it could be you should bench gomo just from driving the public just because you got on and off I-95 and you survived it's a miracle we of course we don't think about it I've been flying a lot lately almost offers and you think about when you're on that plane you're looking out that window and you're 30 000 feet in the air and it takes you two and a half hours two hours and 10 minutes to get from Florida to New York or back and you say I'm in a tin box flying through the air that's a miracle but you know the difference between ordinary and ordinary is how used to it we become when we become used to it when we come to expect it it goes from extraordinary to ordinary but tell somebody 200 years ago we're going to build tin boxes they're going to entertain you they're going to go out drinks and food you're gonna have a Wi-Fi connection and be able to be texting and talking to people all throughout and in no time you're going to get from point A to point B they're looking like you're insane like you're crazy you know what they'd say to you are you out of your mind to get into such a tin box and fly through the air there's no way it can arrive safely meanwhile statistically it's safer to go on an airplane than it is to go on I-95 in Florida it's a miracle so every time you drive and you don't run over a little child every time you drive and no one ran over or ran into you every time you drove and the brakes work to stop a car that was going 70 miles an hour it's unbelievable it's a miracle that's Hashem so again Hashem is either everywhere or he's nowhere if you live your eyes with your life with your eyes open your antenna extended you'll see him everywhere in every car ride he's animating everything that's what we're about to get back to the Tiffany moon it's what he's been describing you could live Life in Color in In Living Color or live life in black and white when you erase Hashem you delete Hashem from the story you're living life in black and white and when Hashem is animating and forming he is behind everything every car ride every airplane ride every conversation every experience every cup of coffee every restful night's sleep when he's behind everything that happens then Hashem is everywhere and you're just spending your whole day with him and isn't that delightful isn't that amazing isn't it amazing did you spend your whole day with him wherever you go whatever you're doing that it's better when when they're there I don't remember if I gave this example and don't get me in uh after I say it I'm not just saying it because it was a birthday last week I'm saying because I mean it when I fly by myself versus when we go together somewhere I always text someone about myself I wish you were here there's so much more pleasant when the flight's delayed or when you're on the plane or when the whatever it's just so much nicer when someone you enjoy spending time with is there with you so they're bonus okay you didn't say oh okay thank you so wherever we go whatever we do the rebonish alone whom we enjoy spending time with our best friend is with us everywhere you can talk then you can confide in them you could say Hashem isn't this so annoying we're stuck here they're delayed what's going to be snowing why would anyone in their right mind live here Hashem is always by your side next email very quickly there's a cute one my husband and I were learning through the safer on parenting spare the child Shoppers afternoon we're learning a concept we never heard before the children just daily parenting like Rabbi Gilbert tells the story figure out which guttle what happened to was rocking difference between sargid parenting can be confusing frustrating especially when you put a lot of effort and see no immediate see no immediately I want to get to our learning see no immediate results amote Shabbos the author writes I put on a random in quotation marks I put on a random living with them in a video first of all that's great that's what people do on Multi shops it's unbelievable what a world put on a random living with them in a video I don't think it was the most recent one I just clicked on one Rabbi Goldberg asked the exact same question we were talking about I've listened to a lot of public over stream and I never heard discuss this it may not be Earth shattering story but to me it's a message one that tells me that Hashem is watching over me and is with me through the Journey called being a parent we've tried reading different books listening different speakers this book connected to us to me this was actually I'm telling us good job I see your effort and I'll be with you along the journey it was the reassurance that was so desperately needed with my emuna glasses I did not see this as random a coincidence I was learning about something twice in a day for the first time but living with a minute classes I've changed blah blah blah blah so beautiful email and again this individual clicked a random video or a random video came on you could live your life and the song that comes on or the video that starts or the book that you opened or the person that shared something with you did so randomly or you could live life that thank you Hashem you're giving me messages you're speaking to me through other people thank you I hear it I'm listening to it it's resonating I'm focused thank you so much and lastly lastly this is a tough one time is it should we get the learning and save this for next week let's learn we'll save this one for next week this is a tough one and a long one okay and Zion Amud iron Zion page 77. you still have there page 77 Einstein and here Rev gamliel the great kabbalist in you shall I am living today the great Sadiq of is says the following he's been telling us about you can go through all the Motions externally you could go through all the Motions on the outside check Davin this morning check went to dafiomi check went to living with emuna check gave some stucca but is it all about Vegas is my entire life about clinging to connecting with attaching myself to Hashem is he involved am I trying to give him am I under his supervision do I feel accountable to him that the foundation of righteousness and the root of serving Hashem is to be is to clarify and evaluate to always ask ourselves why am I here why did I wake up this morning what am I meant to do what am I meant to accomplish what we're meant to be what am I meant to get done how am I meant to live what am I meant to leave as my legacy what is my life all about those sound like obvious questions except that most people never ask them and even those who pause to ask them most people never provide an answer why because there's laundry doing shopping to do and cooking for Shabbos to do carpool to do and homework to do a bedtime to do there's only a living to do and paying the bills to do there are so many things to do to get through each and every day who has time to stop and think and ask why am I here what is my legacy what is the core and the essence of my day what is my brand how am I thought of by others who do I want to be what is my life all about is what we're up to this is the core of serving Hashem to search for to look for the opportunity to draw close to our creator to connect with the divine to connect with our core with our source commercial customers we were created to get high on God you know why you're here to get high on God to feel the highest and ultimate pleasure you can and what is the greatest pleasure in the world the greatest pleasure in the world is to connect to the source of all pleasure so if you stop and ask what do you enjoy the most what is your greatest pleasure I don't know what your greatest pleasure is is it a good stake with fried onions nice bottle of wine is your greatest pleasure a good bubble bath is your greatest pleasure a walk on the beach is your greatest pleasure a time with children or grandchildren is your greatest pleasure whatever your greatest pleasure is in the world whatever it is who created it who's the source of it who's the provider of it and if you could connect with him you are connecting to the source of all and every pleasure and there is no greater pleasure in the world than connecting to our source than connecting to the one above then connecting to the Divine when we imitate and emulate Hashem when we Channel and we are in contact and we nourish that came the godliness inside us we are touching eternity we are touching the Divine we are touching that which is so much bigger and greater than ourselves and we are touching the root and the source and the driver of pleasure listen we can get high on God the more we are detached from him devoid of him distance from him then the more empty and Hollow the more counterfeit Our Lives the more numb we need to make ourselves and the more we turn to fleeting and ephemeral Pleasures fraudulent counterfeit Pleasures that cannot make it up that's what you see happening all around us you see people who've broken through and have access to every other pleasure in the world and they feel empty because they think life is all about having the most experiencing the most living the most I was just listening to a podcast of somebody who said you know my first job in life very very successful person how do you define success by society's definition a very successful person broke through enormous amounts of money successing business and he's talking all about his first job was making money and he succeeded he had enough money for the rest of his life for generations to come he finished that job so he retired at a very young age and he took on another job and he said my next job was to have as much fun as I could I had all the money I could ever need so my new job he said and I spent years in pursuit of fun I traveled the world I experimented and I tried Pleasures I experienced things people places fun that was my next job he said so first job was making money and I finished it I succeeded at it my next job was experiencing fun and pleasure and I I succeeded at it but then I felt empty and Hollow and it was enough I was bored with having fun and having fun was so not fun so I needed a new job and I realized what was missing in my life was meaning so now my next job is helping other people and he started all he's a coach he coaches people he doesn't do it for the money doesn't need money but he scratches his entrepreneurial itch not by going back to work what she doesn't want to do but by coaching other people and vicariously getting the satisfaction of their success but not having to do the work but more than that he created a whole program for former incarcerated people people who got out of prison to get them jobs and help them he tells the whole story and it's really extraordinary but when you listen to his journey from the quest to make money his first job so then the Quest to Have Fun what he defined as his next job to all that leaving him Hollow and empty now everyone else would say like wow that's it that's the top of the mountain that's where I want to go that's where I want to get having all the money for generations to come you don't need to work anymore having all the fun you can travel and go and do anything you want in the world that's what I want that's what I want that's where I want to get to but he got there he's on top of the mountain and he's like he's really lonely here it's really empty here I'm not really having fun here this is not really the top of the mountain where is the top of the mountain how can I climb higher where's my next Peak is not actually taking and living for myself but is getting high by being like God by doing things for other people and he's describing it he actually starts tearing up and he's crying in the middle when he gets to that point this Uber type a successful person starts choking in this interview this podcast when he talks about having found the meaning of helping other people when we live lives for ourselves we're empty and we're Hollow and it's a counterfeit life and when we channel the God in us that cares it's benevolent that's kind that's giving that's good and we make a difference in other people's lives when we strive for Holiness not for happiness then we find happiness when you live for happiness you're unhappy when you live for Holiness you find happiness so we have to channel God we were created to get high on God we're here to get high on God that's why we're here and this is something that's hidden from us how many people we spoke about last week how many people who studied Torah study or read or learn for information not for transformation yiddishka is about transformation it's about being on fire it's about being passionate and dynamic it's a living ongoing dialogue and conversation with the almighty but how many observant Jews walk around like zombies look around look around at any dominant in any place I'm not certainly not knocking our community or I don't think this is true but I'm not knocking any particular Community but sadly it's become root routine and rote and if you look at Ireland too often it's just a group of assembled Zombies going through the motions are we alive is it vibrant is it is there an enthusiasm is there an energy are we in an ongoing conversation are we talking Tim are we hearing him talk to us are we hearing him talk to us through his agents and ambassadors and Messengers The Messenger could be a billboard on the side of the highway but today you can't really look at any of them is the is he speaking to us through a conversation with someone else is he speaking to us through nature is he speaking through us through what popped up in our playlist is he speaking to us through so many things doors that opened or doors that closed because we're meant to walk through another how is he speaking to us are we listening people feel like it's an obligation it's a to-do I have to so I gotta learn I gotta dive and I gotta do these things check check check check but to see the source of Hashem in everything in every leaf in every rustle of the leaves in every in every Breeze and every wind to see and feel Hashem in everything in every successful car ride in every successful bathroom trip in every successful cup of coffee in every successful interaction conversation in every successful bath time and bedtime do we see and feel and thank and talk to and ask Hashem Hashem this is something very very difficult to achieve this is very difficult to achieve but it's what our life is supposed to be about this is the measure of success in life the world around us says you know what the measure of success in life is how much money how many things what car do you drive what house do you live in what quote what clothing do you wear how many followers how many friends how much Fame all of those are the success in life but for us the success in life is how attached and connected are you to your creator how much pleasure are you drawing the real pleasure not the fleeting counterfeit one which there's nothing wrong with enjoying two in the context of finding Hashem in it and through it Hashem is in a good steak black and blue chart on the outside we're on the rare on the inside Hashem is found in the properly cooked steak Hashem can be found it's not that we have to divorce or abstain from enjoying the physical things he wants us he says this is my world I created go go my kindergarten my children go enjoy but enjoy it with me at your side enjoy it and see me and find me in it don't enjoy it and while you're enjoying it forget about me don't leave me outside the restaurant don't leave me outside the experience find me in it and then enjoy it to your heart's Delight but that's our mission that's the definition of our successful lives successful life is not how much you have it's how much you have him how much we are attached to and connected to him how much we find him how much we hear him it's not just that that's a successful life that you should sacrifice and compromise and give and you'll live with misery but you're living in service of him that's not a Yiddish kite too many people think that's the Yiddish kite that Hashem wants us to be miserable and sacrificed and compromise and give up but you're doing it for him so be willing to do that no it's the opposite Hashem wants you to have the greatest pleasure there is in the world should have the ultimate happiness that's available to you and what is that a life of meaning a life of purpose and a life connected to him that's it that's it to speak about amuna to talk about amuna that's easy that's easy to go through the motions of amuna that's easy but to really believe to feel to demonstrate synagogue where do you get your paycheck from patients your clients your boss your employer no the answer we should all say my paycheck get it from Hashem oh he channels that through the book or it's on synagogue he channels it through customers or clients he channels it through whoever is my boss he channels that through my entrepreneurial gifts that I've been given that are on loan from him that have enabled me to be successful do we Intuit and do we instinctively answer oh you had a recovery I know you've had the flu you've had this cough that won't go away oh you're better but Hashem what worked how did it happen what do you mean Hashem oh oh Hashem sent me this doctor who finally ordered this test and finally took this medicine I don't know it finally went away how do we Orient Our Lives are we orienting our lives in the here and now the physical world the external The Superficial but at the amuna class yeah we've we connect the dots and say it's Hashem or do we Orient Our Lives everything's Hashem oh how did it happen he chose to use this agent he chose to do it through this person that's how this happened but a person mistakenly thinks it's my power it's my skill it's my creativity it's my Ingenuity it's my entrepreneurship it's it's on me it's all me that created it what do you mean it's my hard work it's my toil it's my effort now are we entitled to feel Pride bless you are we entitled to feel Pride in our success yes it's not the amunisher to say no don't feel any Pride it's nothing you did nothing you're a no one you deserve zero credit that's not Yiddish kite that's not our attitude or perspective should you and can you feel Pride absolutely you did work hard you did breakthrough you did succeed you did toil you did make an effort ask what are you supposed to think what's up on the one hand you can't say don't say it's me it's mine it's my effort it's my entrepreneurship it's my creativity it's my hard work what should you say I know I've shared this before the Ron says what you should answer is who gave you that foreign you speak well that's great who gave you that gift you draw well you're an artist great who gave you that gift You're athletic great who gave you that gift you're smart you have an incredible memory you're great wisdom Insight who gave you those gifts you're a beautiful person you're put together who gave you the gift it's all from Hashem loan it's not part of our permanent connection it's all from him foreign I do my small part I do my effort I'm proud of my success but I'll show me the senior partner you've lent me these skills you've granted me these blessings they could disappear at any moment and I'm so grateful for them and I credit you with them and I thank you for them and I ask you for help with it in any given thing we have to ask ourselves what percentage of credit are we taking and what percentage are we willing to allocate to him we had a great business deal we made a great kugel we had a great Purim we had a great I don't know we put ourselves together great for the simcha we look great we've gotten a great amount of compliments in any given great experience success experience what percent do we credit him what percent do we take credit to ourselves the measure the metric the test of how vibrant how alive how Dynamic the relationship with Hashem is how much do we credit him versus how much we credit ourselves how much we instinctively answer it's all him versus how much should we have to stop and remind ourselves and go back and correct and fix oh yeah I forgot he made me better I forgot he closed the deal I forgot he helped me get from point A to point B it's all Hashem it's all from above and living this life however this is what we've been talking about I don't know how many years we've done the ministry now but this is what we say every single week we're not doing all this as a gift or a sacrifice for Hashem living this life with this awareness this Consciousness this mindfulness living this life is the most meaningful and purposeful and enriching and elevated it's the best life that's why I read you these emails each week because these are real people who are living real lives and who are saying you know what I could have lost my temper I could have lost my cool I could have lost my patience I remembered amuna I could have lived with Envy I could have swelled with arrogance I could have responded with anger and Muna emuna and when it grounds me I'm going to centers me and when it gives me peace it gives me surrender it gives me Tranquility gives me a minute I can live life and I can let go where my penis spoke about last night a great many great suggestions one of which was begin your amida by lowering your shoulders I don't remember where I first heard this from him years ago or on my own I did this but I also noticed and I also give this suggestion when you take your three steps forward you know we think that like we treat the sitter and David like it's a runaway train like once you start don't stop she won't answer very specially once you take your three steps forward you start don't stop it doesn't say anywhere that you're not allowed to pause between the Broncos it doesn't say anywhere that if you find you're distracted you're not allowed to stop take a few breaths and recenter yourself and reground yourself and start again it doesn't say anywhere you don't think that's what Hashem wants if you're sitting and talking to someone and they're looking at their phone they're looking around the room they're looking right past you and around you at what else and who else and what else is going on and you say hey yo over here let's the person says okay good what were you saying I'm sorry what are you going to be like how dare you why did you breathe why did you pause you're gonna say thank you welcome back we're supposed to be spending time together such is not a runaway train it's not like once you press grow go now like it's a race who can finish first stop and pause and that check-in not only at the beginning but throughout you won't believe until you try it how tense you are your shoulders are like over your ears but when you take three steps forward the one I learned this one was about Adam Englander who at the castle Day School Middle School davening the holy is davening in our community it was beautiful in our community taught and they still practice that when they take three steps forward before they start Hashem deep breath restore your nashama with the nishima restore your soul with a deep breath it took three steps forward I'm now standing in front of Hashem I'm in the Oval Office I'm in the inner chamber I'm at the palace I'm having an audience with the creator of the universe wow and with that deep breath lower your shoulder let go relax all the muscles and only when you do it will you realize how tent we're walking around wound up tense wound up let go Hashem so with these emails proven the reason I read them not like avoiding having to teach you someone else is doing the work I'm just going to read like the teachers to just show YouTube videos all day to their class I'm not just reading someone else's emails so I can get out of teaching I'm reading them they're inspiring to me they're very motivating inspiring to me but they're examples they're living examples for all of us to leave the ammunition and to go off and Lead our lives and to realize our lives are so much better when we invite and we welcome we make space we make room for Hashem we credit him we turn to him when we surrender to him when we nullify ourselves to him when we practice Bittle all of this makes us better and more connected it's what our lives are all about odsos name our next page moving right along oh we move over now to anger where does the moon and anger come in where do amuna and anger come in Anger is a really really difficult difficult character trait so hard to conquer anger great people have sacrifice and Loft everything for anger person I was telling you about from this podcast was all the money in the world he could ever need for the rest of his life who had all the fun he could ever experience for the rest of his life would now move to meaning and purpose he shared something at the end of this podcast blew me away the whole time I listened to him he's a Coach and he's coaching the host of the podcast Tim Ferriss and you know sometimes that coach they sound like they've just got it all together they sound like in there and you just imagine in their own life like wow I'm sure that they're just organized and disciplined and calm and follow through and they've just got it all together Perfect Right listening to him Coach and the examples when he's starting to do I'm like he must have his bills paid on time and everything's organized and his schedule he follows through and he's living this Serene life and he's coaching others and it's like unbelievable and then it gets to the end of the podcast and he gets honest and he gets transparent in a really courageous way because it's not an Anonymous podcast and he talks about the fact that his marriage had recently ended after 18 years and three children because he couldn't conquer his anger his wife left him it's like what I was listening and I couldn't believe it this coach coaches others who succeeded and has it all who discipline has discipline in his own life and coaches and teachers and conditions others to lead with extreme discipline in theirs couldn't conquer his anger to the point that it cost him his marriage he talked about his love for his wife and he talks about how his wife still loves him but she couldn't live with him with his anger he lost the Rockers of anger that's how pernicious that's how dangerous that's how destructive anger is destroys destroys he could have all the money in the world and you could have had all the fun in the world and you could coach CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies for the fame and fortune in the world but if you can't control your anger you could lose it all what do you have if you don't have your family intact what's left what's left so why couldn't you conquer his anger I didn't finish the podcast the drive was over I didn't get to that part but you know what I'm not even interested in what he has to say I am I'm curious to say that I'm interested in what is the root of anger where does it come from how do we conquer it how do we conquer it is this week's passion a fire cannot burn in any of your Dwelling Places on jobs Torah tells us one of the 39 Malacca is the only one that spelled out specifically the only one that's given us explicitly you're not allowed to start a fire you can't let a fire in job as everybody knows that one of the 39 categories of creative labor you cannot start a fire in Shabbos can't start a fire can cook can't turn a light as the laws of Shabbos comes along this is homolytically you know what it means you can't start a fire on Shabbos you cannot get angry but there can be no anger in a Jewish home from Shabbos through Shabbos so you're allowed to get angry from Saturday night through Friday afternoon no of course not that's not what it means so what is the saying when is the time of the week that we're most predisposed to get angry Friday afternoon you said you'd set the table why aren't you showered yet you're never home until the 18 minutes when do we fly off the handle when do we lose our cool window at the end of our rope Friday afternoon the end of a long week you haven't slept the whole week you've got no patience nothing left and when are we most easily angered try to the Shabbos table why are you singing These mirrors how come you never stay at the table why didn't you make my favorite food why aren't you eating anything why are you stop eating everything whatever you get angry about that's when we're most people supposed to get angry this law says cannot have anger it's the opposite it's a contradiction to Shabbos what Shabbos is all about Shabbos comes there has to be peace and serenity and safety a safe space the original safe space is the Jewish Home and Shabbos it's the way we go into Shabbos lighting the Shabbos candles are all about welcoming Shalom peace into our home light into our home there's no room for anger there's no room for tension there's another time of the week I don't like Shabbos candles those who do before you like shabba's candles take a deep breath let go let go of whatever's in your heart from the whole week whoever you're frustrated by whoever you're angry at whoever you're disappointed in let go because when you hold it when you carry it just gets heavier for you so let go let it go and light those candles and bring light into your life and light into your home and peace into your surroundings light those candles and let go before you again it's a race what time is it what time is candle lighting we change the clock so now late Shabbos is late and we'll still be racing and we'll still be late no matter what time Shabbos is it's never a good time never a good time early late it's never a good time never again you're never on time for showers no matter what time it is so we're always racing to light the candles so you run into anything how much time do I have and I gotta let the candles no stop Slow Down slow down our lives our life is such a rat race we're moving at such a ridiculous speed is it the cutscare Dr pelkowitz loves to quote you know how much we lose mahera because we're running too fast we're living life too fast Slow Down slow down be present be mindfulness experience be mindful experience whatever we're meant to be experiencing Savor that cup of coffee Savor that conversation Savor that bracha Savor that candle lighting Savor that's right Savor the drive save for the moment Savor that capacity to savor the best things the most pleasurable things are experienced not quickly and running and racing through them the best things are experienced when you Savor them slow down don't lose out on Life by running and racing through it slow down we have to slow down and we have to save her so when you light the shot with scandals it's today Thursday tomorrow night when you like the Shabbos candles slow down time crystal is to be ready on time to leave yourself enough time to light the candles in this way make a note next to your Shabbos candles this will be the next thing Alana we produce a little note for next to the Shoppers candles right slow down and Savor the candle lighting take a deep breath take a deep breath and relax your muscles and bring the light right let go let go of the frustration the pain the anger the disappointment the resentment let it go let it all go don't carry it into Shabbos if you want it'll be waiting next to the havdala candle you could pick it back up then you can pick it up then but for the first shamas for 25 hours set it aside between the two candle lightings from lighting Shabbos candle to lighting the half dollar candle loss no anger no resentment no frustration no tension no conflict set it aside Let It Go you want light in your life let go of the darkness dispel it get rid of it let it go take that deep breath relax your shoulders and now light the candles and light up your life and light up your home and bring in that peace there's no room for anger so where does that anger come from how could it be not only somebody who is one of the wealthiest people but who coaches the wealthiest people and he lost his marriage because of anger where does that anger come from that's what we'll start with next week because it's all about amuna anger is idolatry anger is arrogance and the antidote to anger is a Muna if you live your life and you realize okay so it didn't happen the way I want that person is not behaving the way I want the world doesn't revolve around me I can't micromanage and overpower everything and everyone around me I need to let go and when a person can live that way they'll find themselves not getting angry they won't exhibit anger it's amazing that anger is so it's so difficult that even someone who knows they stand to lose everything because if it can't conquer it because we're going about it the wrong way it's not anger management it's it's you have to extinguish the anger by replacing it with a different philosophy and attitude you have to live such a life that there's no room or space that anger would never swell up because I just don't see the world that way why would I react with anger we'll pick up what that admir system next week tonight you don't want to miss 8 PM so while you're cooking for Shabbos or just make yourself a big bowl of popcorn but you don't want to miss live Marathon behind the bema global edition today thank you to our generous sponsor matching every dollar so if you've given give again if you haven't given for sure give because whatever you give today will be magical have a great day staffy stay healthy and stay holy