Living With Emunah (Part 252) - Living Without Drama

hey good morning good morning poker so welcome back to living with emuna our wonderful I'm going to support group we have many sponsors for today we have many people today so I'm sorry that we ran out of coffee so hopefully you can stay awake nonetheless so I want to thank our generous sponsors first of our series sponsors for our living with emuna Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Dr Brian Gavin a memory about his mother Dr Ellen chanzer we remain very very grateful to the Morgans also this morning is sponsored by friends of Harriet and the yuko's family in memory of our dear beloved friend Barney those who we miss was an incredibly uh kind and generous and outgoing and warm and uh special persons it's good to have you back Harriet by alien Arena mendelsipora shall have a complete and spirit for shlima anonymously in memory of the doctor whom Rabbi Goldberg discussed in last week's in munisher and his funeral Rabbi Goldberg attended in honor of his family who invited to go back into their lives I told that story last week about uh about that funeral so yes in his memories as well and lastly it's a beautiful brand new organization that just began I still have been incredible work lacala which is um a gamma of that's to help me out over here will you have flowers and wedding Decor to make weddings affordable and easy and appropriate and within budget and where was this for the last few years but um Hashem it's a very very beautiful thing obey okay back to living with emuna we have started this new safer Tifa and moon of gam Leo and we are on page summer Zion I believe we read through you know maybe we're on page time above second paragraph some above this Summit we are speaking about a topic that we actually spoke about on Shabbos the notion of the stavis the notion of Hashem the idea that as we live life as we experience life as we process all that's going on in our life we do it through the prison through the filter through the understanding that there's a Hashem that nothing that happens is random nothing that happens is chance that we are not we are not victims of Randomness but that rather everything that happens is by Design is for a purpose it's such a different way of being it's such a different way of life we spoke about last week that you can you can have blurry vision and then you stumble and trip and fall you could have a pair of glasses and when you remember to put them on you can see but if you don't remember to put them on everything will be blurry and you can get LASIK surgery where your eyes are repaired and fixed your lenses are corrected then now you just see 2020 as soon as you wake up as soon as you open your eyes in the morning and this is a real metaphor for amuna and living with emuna you could not live with that Muna in which case all of life is blurry and you don't know how to interpret everything going on around you why do others have what I want is this really me am I responsible for success or failure or is it Hashem should I worry in fear and be anxious or is everything for a reason and for a purpose life can be blurring can be confusing and you don't know how to experience it you don't know how to interpret it you don't know how to process it you don't know how to receive it sometimes you get out a pair of glasses called demuna and when you remember to put them on oh I see clearly I see Hashem everywhere I see why this makes sense or even if I can't see clearly or understand why it makes sense I see that it will make sense I see that it's not random and then you can have LASIK surgery which is what we're striving for although if we achieve it you'll stop coming to living with emuna so maybe you want the middle one but LASIK surgery we want to correct our lens permanently that you wake up in the morning and you look out and you just feel Hashem is everywhere everything that's happening to me it's raining oh it's meant to rain I'm meant to get soaked I'm meant to last night it was pouring hashems we need the rain it's wonderful it's all a question and a function of how we live lives and whether we wear those glasses so that's the Hashem Summit so the way the Begins the Jew wakes up in the morning with a smile and then Hashem is opposite me always so someone spoke to me harshly someone treated me unfairly there was an incredible success something came my way came right no matter what's going on good or bad pleasurable or painful no matter what's happening in any direction it's all filtered it's all seen through those glasses through that lens of History Hashem you could have a calm and a tranquility and a peacefulness as you go through life not that you won't have to face and confront challenging situations but we'll have the tools and the courage and the conviction and the confidence to be able to face it if we live with ishtavas with ethical will write again we spoke about this on Shabbos that wonderful book that we quoted from it's all about ishtavas that the bashemta of Rights is Madre ghidolo this very high level is that a person should always see Hashem Bane with the eye of their secrets he's next to us always Wherever Whenever Whatever he's in the waiting room at the doctor and he's in the birth room of the new baby and he's at the gym in the supermarket and he's in the boardroom we're negotiating a new deal and he is at that red light when you're running late and he's on that airplane as it's taking off with turbulence he's always by our side you don't have to go search for him and look for him and imagine him and concoct him he's there the more we accustom ourselves to live with the Shabbos he's there he's by our side he's there he's there with us he's there with us always that is the lifestyle and moon is not something you acquire or you have it's not a possession or a thing and moon is a lifestyle it's a lifestyle it's a pair of glasses it's a correction to lenses it's a way of looking at the world it's a way of living through life it's a way of living life and now he says this is the mission and the Mandate this is the challenge particularly of Our Generation this last generation it's not to suggest with any historical revisionism that if you go back to our grandparents and our great grandparents and our great great grandparents in Eastern Europe before the war you know the Fiddler on the Roof Tavia he's talking to Hashem whole time in the barn it's not to say that everybody walked around with Incredible amuna and life is perfect but it is to say they lived with a lot more amuna they lived with a lot more amuna first of all you live with a lot more amuna when your back is against the wall when there are programs in persecution and oppression and expulsions you can never settle down you can never feel comfortable and you can never feel you fit in and there's always harshness against you you live with a lot more amuna because you're finding refuge and courage and you're finding protection in Hashem and we have a challenge that we should feel so blessed that this is our challenge should feel so blessed this is our challenge of all the challenges a generation could have our challenge is how to live with prosperity for countless Generations Jews had the challenge of how to live with poverty how to live with persecution we have a challenge of how to live with prosperity because even those who are struggling and not to minimize their struggle whatsoever it's very very painful to not know where your next meal will come from not to know how you're going to pay tuition for your child and so on not to minimize that whatsoever but I I like to say you know the family on Tom Cruise Shabbos today is living a more comfortable prosperous life then the wealthiest family a century ago it's not that they or their children don't have smartphones or cars with power windows or air conditioning and a washer dryer and a dishwasher and that's not all there is to life again I don't want to minimize the challenge of the people who are struggling to earn an income but we live in a time of prosperity and with all the rise of anti-Semitism around us of which there's a lot to be careful and worried about and work on we still live with Incredible religious freedom an incredible warm welcome in this country which is more than 50 Jewish we have not yet seen not that we should let our guard down or take anything for granted we live with incredible incredible prosperity and in times of prosperity as Prosperity goes up and Muna goes down as poverty goes up and persecution goes up and Muna goes up and we don't have a strong soda we don't have a great a great precedent and tradition and example of how to live with prosperity because so much of our so much of our people's history is living with poverty and persecution so this is the tikonadora zamuna this is something that we have to work on is through our new leased car and most updated cell phone and through our eating out and through our charcuterie platter and Sushi and Starbucks uh triple caramel upside down latte extra shot of whatever how do you find Hashem through that through that how do you see Hashem in there when you're packing your belongings and you're running when you're hiding in the Attic it's easier to find Hashem but it's harder to find Hashem through our Deluxe kiddishes and now leave lakala will have lust Deluxe but as beautiful more beautiful more deluxe less expensive and waste how do you find Hashem through that Prosperity how do we have a Muna how do we remember it all comes from him how do we have a sense of priority and context of of what's really hard and what really matters and how do we build resilience this is a much bigger subject than our living with a moonashire I do think it should be on the agenda of the Jewish people I do think it should be towards the top of the agenda the Jewish people and I do think that barely anyone is talking about it in the Jewish people I think that we are focused on many other things many of them worthwhile but this question of how to live with prosperity how to live with appropriateness and prosperity where should the boundaries be of ostentatiousness what is the appropriateness how do we maintain modesty how do we maintain religious values how do we interact with the Nations around us and not be in the face with our prosperity all of this I think should be on the agenda of our conversation is we are really repairing we are really correcting the shortcoming and failure of amuna of our forefathers when after all the Miracles Hashem did 10 plagues in the Triumph there were 10 interferences with nature interventions with nature 10 times Hashem suspended The Rules of Nature and did something absolutely Supernatural absolutely miraculous he split the sea and he took us through a mid bar where the bread literally fell from heaven and despite that the people had a breakdown in failure of faith maybe that's why in our generation hashem's hiddenness is great we fail to have faith even when he was revealed now we're challenged to have faith in his hiddenness when you can't see him when you have to take a leap when you have to believe when he doesn't reveal and expose himself to us we want that final and ultimate Redemption we want mashiach to come we wanted to be no more pain and suffering no more strife and enmity no more anti-Semitism and hate then we need to live with emuna we need to bring him into this world we need to reveal him we need to spread his light starting Hanukkah on Sunday night that's our mission as Jews is publicize that Miracle is not just about ourselves it's been the dreidelity exchange the gifts all those are cultural later applications to this holiday but the core of the holidays pursue my Nissa what it governs and regulates all about where you like them and or how you like them and or how long the manure should last is pursue my Nisa hey world there's a God he exists there's order and meaning to this place not just chaos he has absolute and objective truth of morality and of values and he has a vision for how we're meant to live and operate and navigate his world hey people there's a God and we answer to him and there's consequences and he is in involved in our lives there's Providence in our lives and he makes Miracles he makes absolute Miracles and you see these lights these candles there's such Darkness can illuminate that darkness when we bring God in and we bring others close to that God and they see and they learn and they live and they're lit and they're excited by the Light there's a Hashem the world is more than just me it's bigger than me and don't think that you're hurting or harming others by doing that it's the biggest favor you could do for somebody because without God and without that light we're living in darkness writes based on Apostle can tell him that the whole world is similar to a dark hole we're trying to get from point A to point B but we're tripping over everything and we're stubbing our toe and banging our knee and falling on the floor because navigating this complicated chaotic corrupt world is so difficult when the lights are off and what turns that light on Torah the word total the root of the word told us or orazutora and when we light that Menorah we're bringing the light of Torah bring the light of Hashem we're bringing that light out to the world we're bringing that light out to the world it's a beautiful teaching about Hanukkah I wasn't going to speak about this it's a beautiful teaching about Hanukkah happens to be Hanukkah next week if you've not bought presents yet get busy it's Hanukkah next week next week it's Hanukkah so normally we give precedence to which side the right side or the left side in Judaism which side do we get precedence to the right side the right over the left the right over the left the right is uh the left is din that's why didn't buttoned their shirts right over left we button our shirts men left over right women right over left if we take a look at a classic shirt don't do that in a creepy way that could not end up well but you never noticed jacket a husted shirt a bekasha a kitto they all button right over left because over din right over left right over left which side does the mezuzah hang on the right side whatever is the right side of a doorway going in this is on the right side because the right where do you hang the menorah on the left side in the times that the menorah was hung on the door the menorah is hung we're on the left side I I thought you're supposed to hang on the right side I thought the right side gets precedence the preference the right side is more significant so the usual answer is that we surround ourselves with Mitzvahs the Moritz already has the mezuzah so the mezuzah on the right and the menorah on the left and we surround ourselves with mitzvos that's the usual explanation but I want to share with you a very holy teaching a very different perspective the menorah's on the right side coming in because the menorah is proclaiming and projecting the messages on my way into the house that there's a Unity of hashem's existence that he's in charge in his control so stay calm don't raise your voice we hang them as does how do we hang them they hang them as this on a slant why is it be vertical should the mezuzah be horizontal how do we pass him on a slant the Rama svard him put it vertical but ashkenazim we put it on a slant only area in halacha that we don't really fulfill any opinion if we were to fulfill an opinion we'd either do up or we'd either do a vertical or horizontal which opinion are we following by doing it on a slant none none of the above so why are we entitled to do something that's none of the above so many suggest because when you walk at least for ashkenaza when you walk into the house and you see that mezuzah in a compromised position you remember that the attitude the mentality in that house be prepared to compromise it's not your way the highway don't stand upright vertical and demand everything has to go my way that mezuzah is on a slant the mezuzah is on an angle you walk in past that mezuzah you touch them it says there's no there is a mocker but the original marker is not to kiss them the Rama brings down you touch them the gemara you touch them told the story of uncles who converted and the Romans came to take him away and every time they sent a legion of soldiers on the way out he would touch the mezuzah and they'd say what are you doing what is that and he'd say oh let me tell you about it come back in and they'd convert then the Roman said more policemen and on the way out he would touch them and they'd say what is that what are you doing he'd say Let Me Tell You Shema the unity of God's existence loving God the light of Hashem it's amazing they convert they sent the third and by the fourth they said leave them forget it we keep losing soldiers so when you touch that mezuzah when you pass by that mezuzah on the way in you think to yourself by the way the position is wow when I walk into this house first of all I have to fill it with Hashem the unity of hashem's existence the presence of Hashem the calm the Tranquility the faith that there's Hashem but also the spirit of compromise it doesn't have to be my way or the highway compromise be prepared to compromise I said all this and I did a video about mezuzah a couple years ago I tried I didn't keep it up but we have behind the Bima we tried behind the Mitzvah we did it but chauffeur did about mezuzah two minutes it's a two minute video about mezuzah and as this idea is in some others you can look it up on YouTube called behind the Mitzvah about MRSA so Mrs is on the right and the classic understanding is the menorah the hanukiyas on the left were surrounded by mitzvos the rights already taken however listen to this teaching the other way to understand it is this is on the right on the way in and the menorah is on the right don't say the menorah is not on the right it's also on the right how is it on the right on the way out when you're leaving your home the menorah is on the right the mezuzah is on the right on the way in the menorah is on the right on the way out because it's that light of the menorah that we take with us wherever we go so during Hanukkah maybe not after you let the manure that light some concert you're running to every night of Hanukkah but it means Menorah if not literally figuratively as you leave your home throughout Hanukkah and always is to take that light and spread it everywhere to take that light and light the world on fire with faith that there is a Hashem there's meaning this purpose this world that's living without Hashem you know the pre it was a recent study recent I think was Pew study Americans have less belief in God than ever of all the times they pulled Americans of belief in God there are fewer who believe in God than ever and this is not in the same study but Americans are more unhappy than they've ever been and I would tell you there's a connection between the two somewhat counter intuitively somewhat paradoxically the less you believe in God unless you believe in him and the more you're trying to navigate this crazy world on your own and the more that you take responsibility for success and failure the more anxiety and worry and fear that you have because everything is random the less happy you're going to be the more that you fill your life with faith the more you wear your immunoglasses the more you see him everywhere at all times and everything the moment you submit and surrender to him the happier you'll be the happier you can you can live with so this is our mission we have to awaken ourselves down here from below we have to create an inspiration that starts here Grassroots to filamuna live to build a mishkanah sanctuary in our hearts to Hashem is do you want to know what it means to be a righteous person now are not how hard you chuckle not how long is your shrana essay to be a righteous person is how much do you live with awareness and mindfulness about the presence of Hashem in your life this is the lingo the vernacular this has to be the conversation that we have when you meet your friends for coffee how's your faith have you been feeling Hashem do you see him and feel them everywhere does it all come together for a reason to interpret everything that's going on when we are confiding in each other and sharing the challenges and the hardship with one another do we invoke faith and Hashem and meaning and purpose and the reason and submission and surrender to him this has to be the Israel it's up to us to use that language we have to invoke that language that vernacular that vocabulary that has to be part of the regular conversation regular conversation regular conversation I've told you the story was many years ago I was sitting in Starbucks drinking just a plain black coffee I don't and look at me like I'm crazy I don't use their glossary I just say can I get a small black coffee they look at me like I'm nuts so I was sitting there and there were two people and they were meeting about something at a table near me And clearly they had run into a wall whatever they were meeting and talking about they were struggling to break through to find a solution and one turned to the other I wasn't eavesdropping they were rather loud about it someone boisterous about it and they said you know what it's praying they stopped and they held each other's hands across the table they closed their eyes I didn't join them but I did Marvel at them I did Marvel at them if I were younger I would have taken a video of them to try to make it go viral but I watched and I marveled they held hands and they closed their eyes they said dear God please give us understanding and breakthrough and solution to help us come to the conclusion of what we should do in this moment and with this play and I was like wow I can't picture two Jews doing that in a million years have you ever been to a board meeting of ashuel of Yeshiva we're like where are we gonna get the money to do the expansion how are we going to pay the teachers you know what everybody hold hands let's close our eyes let's say a pair of Taylor and let's ask Hashem to give us the idea to give us the Breakthrough to give us the donor and imagine you're the one who would suggest that imagine you raise your hand oh you have an idea fantastic oh you're writing a check no I don't have an idea not writing a check but here's my suggestion let's all say a paragraph tehila say are you out of your mind in the mark in the parking lot meeting that would follow every board meeting all they'd be doing is talking about the person who made that suggestion that's all they'd be doing about that person I'll never forget it was years ago that I saw that but for those people sitting there not of our faith their instinct we ran into a wall we're confused things are complicated we don't know where to turn we don't know what to do you know what let's pray let's talk to him let's listen to him maybe he's talking to us and we're like no no I dive in this morning check I done I did that I closed the sitter I did tell him even the tell him group I'm on I say every seven I did I'm done check what does that have to do with our problem what does that have to do with the fight or what we should do for Yeshiva week what does it have to do with our child who we're very concerned about or our parent who self is uh failing what does God have to do with that Dominic I did in the show this morning the happening I did from the sitter the talent done checked done until I don't have to do that again I did it already I did it already imagine the reaction but that sort of become Leo's calling for eign that language that conversation that light of the menorah to spread it to talk in that language you know we have to be very careful someone comes and confides to us about their challenges and hardships some insurmountable some problems that have no solution the worst kind though I just came from the amunisher bee you know this Hashem everything's for a reason we don't know why but there's a reason that Hashem is putting you through this we should each do it for ourselves it's not necessarily appropriate to suggest it or impose it on others it won't necessarily be so welcome to be very judicious and careful with how we share it but definitely to invoke that language to say I'm dominating for you I'm asking Hashem Hashem is right here in pain with us and and we're pleading with them we're storming the heavens we're storming shamayam in protest and an objection but to invoke that language says this is the defining characteristic of sadikim whether they live with histavis histavis is just that calm there is no whatever your children are doing whatever is happening with your parents whatever's going on at work whatever you're feeling is just it's even Keel it's yeah it's all him it's all for a plan it's all for a reason okay I have what I have to do which doctors which appointments which treatments which plans what action do I have to take which initiative do I have to engage yeah there's a lot to do but I do it do what I've got to do without the drama I don't think I said this on shabbosuba when we talked about this but I think living with ishtavas is the ability to live without drama drama we live in a generation of Total Drama a lot of drama everything has enormous drama everything can you believe it can you believe me can you believe my Wi-Fi was out can you believe and then the car another thing and I got the new Tesla but they didn't have the version I wanted and can't believe it's a it's a three-month wait for the new Tesla oh what was me and where is God in drama drama drama drama this drama we're all starring in drama we're all starring in drama it's enormous drama in our generation is the ability to eliminate the drama I've never thought about it this way until right now but it's the ability to live a life without drama now if you live a life without drama doesn't mean that you don't have complications and challenges and obstacles that need to be navigated a life without drama is not a life of bliss and joy and pleasure and everything going right it's just that as you navigate what's not going right you do it without drama you do it without drama because he's opposite me always he's with me whatever I need to do so why do I need to be dramatic why do I need drama why do I need drama I'm not a drama I'm allergic to drama I I ah I don't do well with the drama let's present the issue the challenge let's work on the solution let's stay calm let's even be upset or emotional about it I know I never cry I never get emotional you don't believe that about me let's get emotional about it but without drama I'm not explaining it well but I hope you know what I mean by drama drama with a capital D just drama Nike Summit is the ability to live eliminate the drama there's a Hashem okay I could be emotional I could be in pain but it doesn't have to elevate to drama all around me and all the people we say several times a day Israel according we'll end with this today listen to this paragraph according to our ability Israel we say it several times a day we have an obligation limited to say it every morning and every night it's in the mezuzah that we talked about that hangs on our door what does it mean says according to the greatness of the Moonah of Hashem Israel the very definition as a Jew to call Israel how Jewish you are I don't mean how Jewish is your mother Jewish do you qualify as a Jew can you make Aliyah as a Jew right of return will I marry as a Jew not talking about your actual status as a Jew your jewishness what defines and informs and inspires the level of your jewishness is how much listen you thrall you want to be a Jew Hashem ilocano Hashem then live with Hashem with you always and opposite you well that is the root and the source and the core of all of yiddishkai of everything it means to be a Jew of everything we're meant to be doing in our homes and teaching to our children and passing On to the Next Generation with a continuity it's all encompassed in this motto of the Jewish people listen you throw you want to be a year what does it mean to be a year to live Israel many righteous the righteous men and women of the Jewish people didn't have drama around them they were involved in more drama than you can ever imagine in your life what was on their shoulders the responsibility they had the problems that people deposited with them they were exposed to and involved in more drama than many lifetimes but they didn't live with drama I'm privileged I don't know why I'm worthy to have relationship with many godoli Israel great people in our generation and a common denominator and common theme of all of them is that while you're with them there's calm while you're with them there's peace that doesn't mean that they don't have an enormous amount they have to do and responsibility they bear and pain they've absorbed of others but while you're with them there's no drama there's no drama there's no drama around them there's a piece which is almost almost mind-boggling a calm that you'd never believe this is a person the whole world is resting on their shoulders great men and great women that's our mission that's the definition that's what it means to be a year that's what we have to be transmitting to the Next Generation a generation who are living with drama drama drama drama calm doesn't go viral on tick tock calm doesn't go viral on Instagram com doesn't go not a Tic Tac a tick tock it's a it's uh Hashem you don't know what it is is right here you don't even know what it is drama doesn't sell and drama doesn't go viral I'm sorry non-drama doesn't sell and non-drama doesn't go viral and non-drama won't make you an influencer what makes you an influencer is the drama you're in the car and the camera you won't believe what just happened at carpool and I have to tell you a story and drama that's what gets the spotlight but that's not a life of ishtavas cript you want to be a year kind of children I know right now it's flustering it's it's frustrating I know right now it's amazing and it's exciting we don't live with drama it's time we could be excited it's good news it's excitement but Hashem good news my nephew had a baby boy yesterday his excitement his excitement is good news it's nothing wrong with getting excited that's not Drama by next week I'm gonna I'm gonna come up with a definition of drama because I'm not defining it but you know what I mean you could have excitement you could have emotions but you could do it all without drama no drama if you live with Hashem in your life there's no drama that'll be our next I don't know that's our next bumper sticker our next magnet for a car we got to come up it's a living without drama living without drama living with emuna living with emuna means living without drama we're going to come we got we'll work on it if you have any ideas let me know gonna come up with our next swag living with that muna's living without living without drama so that's the message to ourselves and to our children it's the Mandate of Hanukkah go light light that candle by next week we'll be in Hanukkah but we begin on Sunday night get lit and light out others and take that light on the right side on the way going out and light up the world with Hashem with amuna light up the world and dispel the darkness of drama until next time if you haven't signed up for our WhatsApp group please do that's how you'll be alerted to our schedule bonus material that's how you find everything.org WhatsApp tonight we go behind the Bima with Ambassador David Friedman great conversation about the influences on his life diplomacy moving the embassy Abraham Accords his message to other children of rabbis and much more tonight behind the bhima until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy