Living With Emunah (Part 251) - Ki Ata Imadi, You are Always With Me

good morning Booker told welcome back to living with emuna our amazing level with the Muna shear and support group I want to thank our generous sponsors series sponsors Dr Avi and Bella Morgan and memory Rabbi Dr Brian galbot and the memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen shanzer very grateful for their incredible generosity also this morning uh all of our learning always is a speedy complete painless before shlema together with all those who are ill they ask everyone to remain after we continue to say to hillem after the amunisher in person so we could really use everybody's help and cast all of our heartfelt filos Estes way it's incredibly special and beautiful and sweet an amazing girl a young girl filled with faith and we wish her only Refuge Layman sending her all that love so please stay for a few moments afterwards also if you've not yet joined our WhatsApp group WhatsApp group that has announcements to your schedule the link how to listen bonus material and ideas for example I promised uh posted just this morning a bonus link we're studying a new text we're starting a new topic and a new author so you don't have to ask me who Richard Meyer is it's not icha Meyer fantastic safer I'm sure we'll come back to it we're starting a newspaper called a great incredible individual in yerushalayimira kodesh today on our WhatsApp group I put a link to a wonderful article by my buddy Surly besser about gamliel if you want to know more about the author to better appreciate what we're going to be seeing in the text today so that's yet another incentive to join the WhatsApp group if you've not yet to get that bonus material information it's Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp before we dive into the new text together I want to catch up on a few other things I saw an amazing quote that really closes what we were learning the last several months together moving on to a new topic for the last several months we talked about Katniss and Godless and Panama we have moments of being close and connected and plugged in and a spiritual High we have moments of feeling far and distant and away and how do you serve Hashem and how do you live with the moon not only when everything is amazing where nothing is amazing when everything feels miserable and everything feels like it's not working and we spent a long time on that topic but I want to close that entire topic by telling you a beautiful quote quotas from a woman named Christine King I have no idea who she is no idea who she is but she said something brilliant she said sometimes when you're in a dark place you think that you have been buried but actually you've been planted sometimes when you're a dark place you feel that you have been buried but actually you have been planted and the reason I thought that was such a beautiful quote that really summarizes and closes that last limud is that we're avicha Meyer was telling us was that in that dark place and from that distance and in that low Point sometimes when you fall you can bounce higher than you ever were that we like the bat who lets go we can take the momentum from the fall to create lift to be able to soar and to be able to fly so in that dark place you could wallow and pity self-pity and you could Despair and you could give up or you could say I'm in this dark place because I've been planted I'm underground and I'm about to Blossom and I'm about to burst forth and I'm about to yield fruit and something special is about to happen so that is up to us when we feel that we're in that dark place are we willing to concede do we want to say that we've been buried or do we want to see it as we've been planted and the choice is up to us what comes next will we use it to despair we use it as a springboard to soar and to fly to make sure that we have not been buried but we have been planted all of that is number one number two word of introduction my whole week revolves around the amunisher what did I hear what did I see the story was I told what did we experience that is going to become part of the ammunition so Allah says they are good at convention last month they shot us less Thursday night I think it was Thursday night but it's really best it does asking for a friend with two great rabbanim although bianski is always one of them and he asked the question the following question so great question and it's a relevant question for our learning I don't remember what number we're up to 260 whatever number we're up to about a moon this year but this is something that's always bothered us we've shared before so many of the amuna stories that we hear that we share that we read that we receive in our inbox on our WhatsApp so many of the amuna stories are all about stories that have a positive outcome a good ending right the the classic and Monastery is the the person who ran late and missed their flight and they were all miserable but then the plane crashed and they survived and isn't Hashem amazing and there are so many stories like that and so many people who hinged their Muna on those stories I don't like to tell those stories in our administer we'll share stories of ashkaka where we felt hashem's presence but not in Miracles exactly the opposite something that could have been simply dismissed as a coincidence some random or chance to say that wasn't random and there wasn't chance at all but that was by design that was complete that was what was meant to be it's not that oh there's a miracle it's that the everyday natural things to recognize that that's Hashem speaking to us that's Hashem revealing his hand to us in fact there's a famous book about a moon I won't mention its name who the opening story about this famous book about a moon of the most popular several years ago that that is the opening story about a person who ran late and missed their flight and was all miserable whereas Hashem why would he do that and then the plane crashed and and and I went to go see the author of that book because that story bothered me and I asked him wouldn't it be much more powerful story not about the person who missed their flight but what about the person who was waitlisted on that flight and when the young individual got stuck in traffic and didn't make it made the flight and went down with the plane and now his family sitting shiva says but it's what's meant to be it's from Hashem it's from Hashem because he was waitlisted and he made it last minute and they gave him a seat and clearly this was his time to go isn't that a much more powerful story of emuna so that was the question I asked to provoke Beyond ski it's really bastard asked him these amuna stories that are all couched and are all presented and relobianski said two things that I want to share with you then we'll get into our new text and you could watch it yourself this video is available online maybe I'll put it as a bonus material in our emuna WhatsApp group to watch the whole conversation is worth watching so labianski said that this is a very important issue and even though it makes us feel good and it gives us Goosebumps and it makes us feel hopeful but it's uh ultimately it's ultimately doing something negative because it essentially links aramuna to Hashem with the story having a positive outcome a good ending so we only want to believe in God or if the foundation of our belief in God if the foundation of aramuna and Hashem is Hashem just like in that story you made everything okay well if I have enough emuna if I have enough if I practice enough to Vegas if I attach myself to you enough my loved one will get better and heal that will work out the baby will yet come the parnassa will flow everything will turn out okay because I get a story in my inbox every day where something was supposed to go wrong and then Hashem made it go right so clearly Maya Muna now and what happens to the person who davins and davins and davins and davins and davins and davins and cast their light lot on Hashem and then it didn't go right it didn't have a positive outcome tonight's guest on on behind the bema several years ago his wife didn't feel well and that day she was gone and left him with 11 children that he raised by himself and he just wrote a book called why God how to believe in heaven when life feels like hell why God RAV started many uh many chabads and that he'll be our guest tonight how do you believe why God Where's God so if your whole amuna is founded on the strength of yamuna is that everything always works out and everything has a happy ending and everything is always the way we want it to get and every outcome is the way we want then what happens when it doesn't work out that way what happens your amuna is shattered your faith is broken if it's founded on something so weak a deck of cards it could implode it could collapse so easily so he told the story of lapianski listen to this story watch the video anyway because this was only one question in a long long conversation but he told the following story that he had read I think in the Hebrew Ted he told the story he said you know in Israel the elections are uh are a business they happen so often you're a growth business and uh the law in Israel is at polling sites there are people who watch who guard the polling site and they're paid unlike the people here with their fulfilling their civic duty who show up to man the polling sites we don't get paid you get paid okay what do I know okay son a new career option for me so you get paid you get paid so in Israel you get paid so this Cola fellow is called younger man signed up because they paid 2 000 check it which is like a month's salary for a Colo member and Erica straw so he could make all that money just by sitting one day at an election poll he got his assignment of where that polling station would be and it was in a neighborhood that he felt as a Bento rose and a growth stage of his life that's probably not the place for him to be that's probably not the environment and the dress and the atmosphere and the people and he had this big internal debate do I go it's good money it's the money I make a month in the Colo what that could do for my family but you know what what will it do to my nashama I don't know if I should go and he decided in the end you know what the money's not worth my nashama the money's not worth my olamaba the money's not worth the missions the test that it will be so it was within enough time that he could back out having done nothing wrong they could find someone else he backed out then he continues in the story says a few weeks later he was walking in the street and he found something he says I didn't find 2000 cheko I didn't find 200 cheko I didn't find two sheko I found myself he told the story because he said everyone was all geared up right you expect the end to be I backed out I did the right thing I showed Hashem I want to be the right person and lo and ball I was walking in the street and I found 2000 cheko but that's that's not a story that will be a a healthier constructive way to build aramuna he didn't find two thousand shekel he didn't find 200 cheko he didn't find 20 shekel he didn't find two shekel he found himself he did the right thing because it was the right thing to do and he became a better person for showing that fortitude and resilience and from making that choice that he made that was not an easy choice to make he didn't find the money he found himself and Rob bianski said that's amuna the reason we show amuna the reason that we live with them you know we talked last week we don't have amuna you have a car you have a phone you don't have a Muna you practice and just because you showed that money yesterday what does that have to do with you don't have love for your spouse you love them and just you can't say I loved you yesterday what are you hacking me today I loved you yesterday I loved you last week enough already no love is something you need to live with every day every moment and it's not something you have it's something that you practice and it's something who you are and moon is not something that you have and you didn't do it yesterday the Moon is the way we live it's part of our very identity it's the air that we breathe it's the filter in prison through which we experience the world you wouldn't say just to extract that metaphor as far as we can take it you wouldn't say I wore glasses yesterday I wore my contacts yesterday what do I need to wear them today I have glasses that's nice they're sitting on the counter they're sitting on your dresser they're sitting in a drawer how does having glasses help you I have glasses that doesn't help you unless you're wearing them because you won't see clearly unless you're wearing them and you can't say I wore my glasses yesterday I wore my glasses last week everything will be blurry to you today and you're gonna stub your toe and you're gonna crash your car and you're not going to experience the joys of life if you don't wear your glasses today and Moon are the glasses that we wear it's the way we see the world it's how we perceive and experience everything that happens we don't have them you don't have a moon and then it sits in a drawer you wear your emuna so you can see the world and see Hashem everywhere you don't want to live and see the world in black and white you can experience the world and live in color Hashem is in every blade of grass and the rustle of the tree he's in every sound of a of a chirp of a bird Hashem is in that cool breeze on your neck rashem is that warmth of the Sun and This Magnificent now South Florida December weather finally it's Hashem everywhere Hashem is when you find that parking spot Hashem is when everything goes right and as we were studying the last several months Hashem is even where everything goes wrong it's in that moment it's in that hospital room and it's in that diagnosis that you get and it's in that horrific moment that Hashem is in all those places too it's in that low it's in that low where we've Fallen because of our own mistakes we've been knocked down because life has dealt us Delta such an unfair hand Hashem is in those moments too aramuna should not and cannot be founded on Fantastical stories where it all works out this Kola yoga man says I didn't find 2000 sheko I didn't find two shacko I found myself I found my strength I found my my backbone I found my spiritual spine I found my immuno glasses that I now wear and see the world with the pride of having made the right decision and he says that is that Hashem leads me towards my ticket Hashem is leading me towards my purpose in this world not that everything that happens is good everything that happens is for the good not that everything that happens is pleasurable but there are painful things that are also good because they lead me towards my tikkun and towards where I'm meant to go I started to read the book of our guest tonight and he talks about the positive that came out how horrific and the pain he continues to live with without his wife and raising 11 children on his own but how they grew and they're better because of it he wouldn't welcome it or want it he didn't he didn't ask for it he would do anything not to have experienced it but now that it's happened to understand and to see the positive the good what's come out of it in a way that he can have resilience from it so sister why that's doesn't say even when I walk through the light of Heaven my faith won't falter because you're with me he doesn't say even when I win the lottery and the baby's born and standing under the and everything goes right Hashem I will see you because I know you're with me says even when I'm running because my father-in-law is trying to kill me even when I'm one running because my son is conspiring to kill me even when I know there's a rebellion brewing and they're trying to assassinate me even when I know that I'm fighting a battle against egalia so I'm being falsely accused of I'm not worried you know why so emuna and moon is not when everything's going right and everything's well and everything Dory and one is not when everything is a fantastic story with a happy ending and Muna is wherever and whenever and whatever is happening I can wear my glasses and see you and know yeah you are right by my side and what does that mean that what I'm going through as meaning and his purpose has tacos it is the last introduction I'll say I hope we get to actually our new text today last week Jacob and I did a panel for the very first time did I speak about it last week so we we did this panel I don't have to rehash you could wash it or watch it also I will post it also wow I'm gonna over flood your emuna WhatsApp group the next couple days yeah remind me to post all these things so for the first time in 21 years only because it was the first time we've been asked we talked about a stillbirth that we experienced 21 years ago which part of Hashem blue inara a billion times over we've been blessed in every which way and uh but at the time was an incredibly painful experience that we had and one of the things that I shared on this uh panel is how I did most of the talking and shared our experience brilliantly and insights and advice from it but one of the the little things that I contributed was a a perspective that in the questions we didn't we didn't have a chance to get to it left us there's so much more to talk about and to share maybe we'll find an opportunity to do a a part two but several of the people listening we the panel can see the questions coming in so if you were watching you couldn't but several of the questions were actually about this were the following thank you many people experience a miscarriage or stillbirth which is one quarter of all pregnancies a quarter to a third of pregnancies don't end in life they unfortunately end in miscarriage or stillbirth which is a statistic that young people should know you haven't made this point they should not think well as soon as I want to get married I call the and I'll be married within a few weeks and then when we decide we want to have a baby nine months later we'll have a little baby bouncing in our arms we shouldn't scare them and we shouldn't create anxiety over this for them but we should also prepare them for the way that life works because then they won't be shocked in a way that they can't they can't overcome later the stronger we are the more we can withstand so we should be honest and forthcoming about not only the Beauty and the broccoli when everything goes right but some of the challenges when it goes wrong so a quarter to a third of of pregnancies and then miscarriages still birth and often people feel and I remember vividly this was a feeling that you haven't had that that we had what what's the point what was the point why why go through pregnancy why go through pain and nausea and sleepless nights well I go through aches and pains or I have to have gone through delivery and induction why I have to go through recovery why have milk come in and the body continue to tell you that you should have someone to nurse why it's all it's all pointless it's all meaningless it's all for nothing I very recently had somebody who suffered several miscarriages ask why does Hashem keep toying with me why does he cause me this pain why get pregnant if it's not going to ultimately yield and conclude in a healthy baby why what's the point what's the point of the promise what's the point of of the hopes and the dreams that they're just going to crash what's the point of it what's the point of it and I shared a perspective of Moshe Wolfson has shared it others base tells us that mashiach is not going to come out the moment of creation Hashem created Every Soul that was destined to exist so 5783 years ago he created babies that are not yet born he created Every Soul that was destined to exist and he has some Celestial file cabinet some storage system in the sky and at the moment or 40 days after conception when he deems the time is right he reaches into his file cabinet he takes a soul and he puts it into a a body that lives a very short finite amount of time in this world and then he extracts the soul from that body and hopefully they have been United for 70 80 120 years tragically and sadly it's way too short but in the scope of Eternity It's All Too Short 120 years the scope of Eternity is the blink of an eye is nothing but it's United for a short time and then he extracts the body from that the soul from that body the gemara says that the ultimate Redemption mashiach will not come we will not transition to the next phase of reality until every nishama that he created 5783 years ago comes down to this world needs to be realized in this world and only when the nashama comes down then and only then can mashiach come can redemption occur can the next phase of reality happen and therefore and therefore there's no such thing as a miscarriage that's sort of Wilson writes there's no such thing as a miscarriage miscarriage suggests that it wasn't meant to be it was a waste something went wrong there was a failure something didn't happen and there was no purpose it wasn't fulfilled the goal was not reached this was for nothing but we don't believe in miscarriages We Believe that whoever was chosen was chosen very painfully and unfortunately and would never ask for it or sign up for it but they were a vehicle and an instrument to bring a soul down that though it never saw the light of day it brought us one step closer to mashiach into Redemption because each person needs to be that vehicle that instrument and in fact in some ways is even a Holier and pure instrument and vehicle because a baby that's born becomes a human being that makes choices and that soils that Soul because we don't always make all the right choices so even though kind of shama is God the soul you gave me was pure but nevertheless it gets blemished and contaminated and soiled and that's what chuva we have to undo it and cleanse it but the soul that came down and never lived in this world and never experienced Free Will and choice never made a mistake it was here pure and it was returned pure the person who carried such a soul was a vehicle and a conduit was a host with something so pure and it wasn't a waste and it wasn't for nothing but they played a pivotal and critical role in the incremental progress towards the complete Redemption and towards mashiach and what a privilege that is not one we'd sign up for or wish or hope for anyone but if they did they should look back and feel comforted to know that it's not for nothing it's not for Waste it's not random or chance it's not for nothing so several of the follow-up questions that people asked yeah well that doesn't feel so good when you're going through it that's lovely it's nice that's philosophical save it for living with emuna Goldberg nobody wrote that but that's how I read it save that for a living with emuna Wednesday mornings but when you're when your body is in pain when you are recovering from the aching arms that should be holding a baby or from a body that's telling you you should be nurturing and and feeding another human being that philosophy that doesn't cut it that doesn't do it to which I ask what's the alternative again I know that and thank God this was the biggest challenge we've gone through in our lives and we're grateful in the big menu of options of what it is but at the time I remember that that was what a comforting thought that we had you haven't said it to the doctor in the middle of the night during induction waiting to give birth to this lifeless baby she said you know thank God that we believe in Hashem because I don't know how I would get through it I don't know how others get through it if you don't you just lie there in pain thinking random chance just a victim of nature just happened there's no meaning there's no purpose there's no reason there's no order there's no higher explanation just happens how do you get through it when you feel you're a statistic or your data or you're a victim of chance it's when you surrender to a higher being and when you believe that even if you don't have access to it there is an understanding and a purpose there is a higher order there is a tackles to what you're enduring that's what gives you the strength to get through it I showed that they never had an explanation in our case they never had an explanation they did a chromosomal analysis and checked the umbilical cord and they check everything they never had an explanation why what happened what went wrong we'll never know some people would be plagued by that I was comforted by it because if you knew why something went wrong you would wonder why did it have to go wrong and could we have fixed it could we have known it and could someone have done something about it and when you never know you have no choice but to conclude this was from Hashem it wasn't meant to be this was by Design This was his choice this was from him this is the way it was supposed to happen I don't know why and I don't know why we had to endure that pain and we wouldn't welcome it on anyone else but it was what was meant to be why am I telling you all this and rehashing it because he said foreign there is no one and nothing but him in odmovado the tradition of that if you're in a horrible moment you have to say there is no one there's nothing but him there is nothing but him so now our next motto our next bumper sticker is you're with me you're by myself today this is what he said means that what I am enduring is not random and it's not chance there is a tackles there's meaning there's purpose it is leading me towards a ticket in my life and that gives it meaning and gives a purpose you know the saddest thing in the world the hardest thing in the world is when you think something has no meaning and no purpose when you think that you are overcoming or confronting something for no reason that is the hardest thing when you know there's a tactless then you can take it on too many in our community are having to give their kids poison to make their kids better they're having to give their children poison to make their children better to help them heal please God have a full and a speedy recovery I was just talking to one to give your child poison to make them sick to see them lying there in pain so hard for a parent but what enables the parent to do it there's a purpose the pain as a tacos the talk list is to make you better tacos is to get you closer to a goal topless is to get to a destination so if you were in pain for no reason at all and no explanation and no nothing to come out of it you could never survive such a thing but to undergo a treatment because you know that its purpose is ultimately to heal to repair to get you to a better place so then you can find what it takes to undergo that treatment because it's a treatment means whatever we're going through in life is the treatment that we're meant to take Hashem is our father in Heaven and sometimes he gives us chemo sometimes we have to take poison and it feels like poison and it's the experience of poison and it's the pain of poison but he's giving us a treatment because it's what he needs to give us to bring a repair to bring a chicken to get us to the next place to get us where we want to go not because the story is going to necessarily have the outcome we want though we hope and we pray and we'll do everything in our power but even if our won't our moon is not because it has to have that outcome sometimes the answer is no sometimes the repair the tikkon that we had to undergo our guest tonight I'm behind the bhima is that it doesn't have a positive outcome but for the 11 children for the husband they turned it into a ticket they saw that painful experience as a form of treatment that they were getting from Hashem it's a tackles we can overcome almost anything when we believe it has attackless when we believe it as meaning and purpose we believe it has a reason when we believe then then we can walk through hell we can walk through some others when when you're imadi but if you're not imadi that's going to make it better it's not a miscarriage you were helping the world get one step closer to Michelle why why were you chosen why did you have to be the one to do it I don't know but it wasn't for no reason there was a tahlas there is a treatment for the world this was what was necessary to get one step closer so I just I saw that last week of lopianski I watched that and I thought I had to share it with you because it's really so fundamental to everything that we study and learn and everything that we're working on collectively together aramuna cannot be founded on only positive stories and happy stories and goosebumps stories and stories that have the ending the fairy tale ending that we want he didn't find two thousand shekel he didn't find 220 or two sheko he found himself and the Moon is the way we find ourselves our true selves who are we and why are we here and what relationship are we meant to and are we capable of having and how can we feel he's by our side how can we live how can we put on our amuna glasses so we don't just have emuna it's not sitting in a drawer on a dresser it's not something that we practiced last week or last month it is the glasses the contact lenses that we have a go step further can a Muna become the Lasik surgery so that we permanently transform our vision to see him everywhere glasses you put on you take off we had children who went last night to see something one of the text of us I forgot my glasses I spent all this money for you to go enjoy that thing you forgot you go out what do you mean you forgot your glasses but Hashem they saw they enjoyed forgot to let me forgot your glasses if they're glasses you could forget them I forgot to live with that Muna I got all frustrated I got angry I got anxious I got envious I got egotistical I forgot to wear my glass I forgot to see Hashem but I reacted those are glasses contacts once you put them in you can't forget them you're wearing them lasek you reconstruct the eye so that now it only sees clearly can we get to a point of Lasik on our emuna eyes that we only live in a world where we see Hashem everywhere we see Hashem all around us that's our goal when it's we're all going to walk through gate some of us at some point in life I'm going from here to a funeral for someone I only met once a tragic circumstance a family called me it's not an observant family not connected to BRS but this man a little while ago was moved to whatever reason his life to try to explore Judaism more seriously and Found Me online and started listening to our shurum and printing out our partial perspective right up and sharing it Shabbos at his table and his family said he wanted to get to BRS and he wanted to meet me Juni was diagnosed it's a neuroradiologist a young man in his 50s Juni was diagnosed with an illness last week he had a coma and he went into a hospice and the family said he wanted to meet you he'd love to meet you before he dies could you come see him I went to see him and he wasn't conscious but with his family I had a heartfelt exchange because even though we never physically met but if we learned Torah together our souls have been spending a lot of time together when you learn Torah with someone even from a distance your souls are connected and I felt connected and I only met him once and he's not part of BRS but for his children and wife I'm gonna go to the funeral straight from here they're walking through gate some of us right now I think he's 56 or 57 years old and June as a neuroradiologist he got the film of his own scan and diagnosed his own illness and knew how little he had to live they're going through gate some of us they're going through their own Gates some of us so you tell me say Rabbi it's a nice philosophy that doesn't make me feel better what's the alternative does it make you feel better to feel there's no God it's random and chance there's no reason certain quota people are going to get that horrific dreaded disease every year and leave this world only six months later and you're the lottery winner he's from the wheel and you won the lucky lottery your father your husband that's better that's easier it's more comforting it's also not even true the truth is there is a God and there is a world and there is meaning there is purpose and there is talk less and when we lean into kiyata imadi then we can walk through the shadow of death then we can walk through the valley of hell when when do we find the strength of fortitude only made it's not me is so you're going through something printed and the doctor gives you the prescription underneath it right before you give it to the pharmacy when you get the first uh card for when your next appointment on the medicine bottle when you take the medicine on the mirror on your steering wheel on your dashboard on your home screen wherever you're going through whatever you're going through Gates or mothers we can go through anything and without imadi God not with us if we're all alone and we're facing a world that has no meaning and no purpose and no order and no right and no reason then I don't know how you can get out of bed in the morning I don't know we can go through anything okay let's start let's start let's just go through at least the first two lines so this is a safer TFI amuna his series I'm coming around The Good the best the right the righteous to draw out these are all the secrets and again I I shared you could take a look at the link I posted this morning a great article by Surly besser also getting a lot of play this morning in mishbach you'll appreciate his words in the text that we're going to spend the next month's learning when you know a little more about who he is we're starting into the safer we're not starting from the beginning we're not starting from the beginning feel free to keep the copy if you want to take notes if you're not taking notes return it so we could keep bringing it back each each week says Hashem you place you opposite me always who sings that a main and primary principle of foundation of Torah and one of the ways the righteous live that they walk before Hashem Hashem you're opposite me always I don't need it on my home screen and my dashboard and my refrigerator and I don't need it in my on my mirror because I live it I'm wearing those I'm in the glasses so you're always I see you opposite me always if you have an escort with the King if the king is visiting you in your home if the king is by your side if you have a shadow if you have a shadow we only use that's a new term kids need a shadow when I was young I don't think anyone had a shadow but today everybody's been through it today Shadow kid needs a shadow I need a shot you have to iron Shadow the new shot one in the shadow because they need someone they're only be on their best behavior there's someone shadowing they need a shadow so we all need a shadow and we all have a shadow and his name is Hashem he's your Shadow literally Raise Your Shadow and and what's the idea of his being our shadow are you going to watch that if he's sitting next to you on the couch are you gonna say that if he's sitting next to you at the table are you going to are you going to do that if he's watching over your shoulder what you're doing he is our shadow he's our shadow the king now he is our shadow the he is not someone we can manhandle the he is the king the king of kings the creator of the universe we know that you know our our um are our mental health podcast called out of the Shadows next what's coming out very soon that trauma the impact of trauma so why is it called out of the Shadows because so much of mental health challenges happen where in the shadows people feel alone and isolated and by themselves people go into their own head and the conversations they tell themselves people live with shame and stigma and in the shadows and that's where these challenges happen and are and that's where they lead to um acting out and behaviors which are destructive and sabotaging and negative because they're in the shadows they're in the shadows they're by ourselves but a life of amuna is to never feel isolated and never feel alone and never feel in the shadow and never feel stigma still feel Hashem is by my side if he's by my side I'm never alone if he's by my side I'm never by myself he's by my side he can take me through whatever it is I'm facing whatever it is have to overcome but it also means he's watching everything that I'm doing he's watching everything that I'm doing come on tonight it works both ways when you live with when you wear the amuna glasses and you see and interpret and filter everything in the world and your world that Hashem is there it both gives confidence and faith and comfort and builds us up to know we're not alone but it also creates an enormous amount of responsibility and accountability and supervision and that's what we're mind trying to achieve that's what we're leading towards so at least we've started the text today is saying that our mission our goal the definition of living with emuna is to feel Hashem is our shadow he's by our side wherever we go whatever we're doing he's by our side he's with us it's always easier it's always with us the kind of just came back she was at the Robinson conference maybe she'll share at some point her experience of the represent coming we always tell each other whenever we have to travel by ourselves we always text each other I wish you were with me it's always easy to travel when we're together it's always better when we're together right some people are like a little little alone time a little alone time maybe they say that but a little alone time a little by myself a little space a little margin I don't know if she needs it at least I mean when I say it I hope she does that you know it's always better you're sitting by the gate you're delayed you're on the plane you're uh wait it's always better when you're it's always nicer it's always nicer of gam Leo we're trying to get to the place of amuna that you're never traveling by yourself you're never like which gate do we have to go to scrambling to get through security it's delayed what's going to be what seed assignment did I get you're always like Hashem we're good we're going together let's go they changed the gate Sean let's go they said it's time to board Hashem let's go we got to get to the overhead space we got to make sure there's enough room for our bag the level we're trying to get to the life we're trying to live is to get to a places where them Leo trying to get to that place of the moon is hashems our shadow he's always with us he's our escort he's our shadow he's our person helping us it's unbelievable he's taking us with us throughout wherever we go and because he's with us wherever we go we're able to get through whatever we need to I have to get to this funeral unfortunately please stay to hilum please stay today for a little extra tell them only good things stay happy stay healthy stay holy