Living With Emunah (Part 225) - Selective Memory is the Key to Happiness

good morning boaker tove welcome back to living with ammuna our global campaign is in full swing which means we need your help if you're a bs member you're doing your part if you're not a brs member and you listen and learn and read and watch and enjoy and please take a moment and contribute enable us to continue to teach and to spread torah and our messages we really need your help so open a new tab if you're watching online right now open a new tab on your browser go to brsonline.org global brsonline.org global if you're sitting here and you're not brs member open take out your phone we'll wait open your phone brsonline.org global and do your part to help us we really really appreciate it we need everybody's help so please uh join our global campaign the amino series is generously sponsored by dr david bella morgan in memory of rabbi dr brian gablet sukharan of raja and in memory of bella's mother that's ellen shanza ala shalom this year outside is on the 10th of adar we're going to head into other bays today's shir is sponsored by carol walden memory of miriam boss eliot levy is carol here she's in israel enjoy israel in memory of maryam and aliyah so again thank you all for being here thank you for coming on this journey together reminding ourselves and i hope everyone did their homework do you remember what your homework was your homework eaten by the dog your homework was it's a smile so has everyone been smiling and is your home different is the energy different is your children different is your husband different is everyone around you and everything different more wrinkles oh boy cannot take responsibility for that you can blame me for a lot of things but your wrinkles i don't think are among them so we spoke last time all about simha being a choice happiness is a decision it's not an emotion and the science that you're not happy and then you smile when you smile then you're happy and the energy that we put to the universe is what comes back comes back to us and we walk in a room negative abyss and a miserable complaining then people pull back from us they don't want to be around us there's a tension and negativity between us nobody wants that negative energy and when we make the concerted effort to smile then good things happen because people want to be around positive people people want to be around smiles so someone sent me an email i'm not going to tell you who it is because i don't have her permission but she writes the following since the end of the amount of class today was about smiling i thought i'd share this with you i was at a shabbos mill in new york city when i was single and i wasn't in the best mood i guess the dating was getting to me anyone out there dating singles listen to this this is for you i was single i wasn't in the best mood to get the dating was getting to me a bunch of single guys were there at the meal and the lady of the home told my rebbetson i needed to smile more if i'm looking for a shirt i guess a person who's tired they're exhausted they're emotionally spent you know not to minimize to be single to be dating to be hopeful it's a roller coaster your hopes are raised and then they're dashed and then you're excited and then it doesn't come through and you're waiting and nobody calls and then somebody sets you up and it didn't it's a lot of ups and downs and it can show on your face person could be tired the person could be sad so this uh hostess told the rabbits and latoya's for the good for the benefit of the person it wasn't staml you know the person you sent me sat on my meal miserable fabulous and i said it for the benefit tell them to smile more so listen to this simchas torah i walked out of shul the upper west side of new york city and i started to smile going down the stairs with hundreds of singles around me and my husband saw me smiling and he came over to me because i was smiling that's why he struck up a conversation and now they're happily married with a beautiful family and wonderful children so she writes me this email to say that dating got to her and she was down and out and the hostess told her robinson who sold her smile more so she came out of shul when there were a lot of singles and they she might have still felt down and out maybe her mood hadn't changed whatsoever she was still down and out and still sad but she made a concerted effort a determined effort the singles around i'm gonna smile at this farm sale i'm gonna smile with the kiddush i'm gonna smile if i'm around uh i'm at the wedding and uh you know there's boys on the other side i'm gonna smile and when you smile good things happen when you smile the whole world smiles with you so send me an email next week if you got engaged this week because you were smiling i'd love to be able to share that story but you know we talked about and that was the homework and it continues to be our homework every day and every week and the reason it continues to be our homework is because it's hard so easy to forget so easy to forget before you go into the house smile before the kids come in the car carpool smile when you get home smile when you're putting them to bed smile do it homework smile it's hard it's a lot of reasons to not smile there's a lot of reasons to frown you watch the news you read the news you hear the news not only the news that's six thousand miles away or far away the other side of the world but the news in our own community and the news of people that we care and it's hard it's hard to smile and there are moments that you cry there's nothing wrong with that too again it fluctuates if you smile all the time it's not real either but yeah you have to smile to put an energy into the room a concerted effort so put a little post-it note on your steering wheel for carpool put a little post-it note in the fridge for breakfast put a little post-it note for bedtime put a little post-it note before you walk in the house smile smile the whole world smiles with you this sense of simcha that we've been learning about which comes from emunah says well how do i smile it's fake people see right through it what's the point of the fake smile so again the science shows that your fake smile will make you happy that's what the channel is i know you're smarter than the science right we're smarter than the research what's the point it's fake i don't feel it people see through it it doesn't accomplish anything i got it all the cynics and skeptics i got it but the science says you're wrong science says you don't have to feel it it works in the opposite order smile and then you'll start to feel it smile and you'll feel it smile everybody right now put a smile on your face ready right now there we go some of you just worked muscles that haven't been worked in a long time some of you forgot we have to give a little tutorial afterwards how to smile some people made a career a life out of not smiling they think that i have to be that person who never smiles it's not a simple thing i want to get into our learning but i'll just say this there are people who don't want to smile because they legitimately have challenging situation and they feel what does it say about me if i'm happy how could i be happy when my child my spouse my parent my sibling my life how could i smile my neighbor my friend how could i smile smiling mean that i don't care smiling to me that i'm callous smile mean i've forgotten we have a cottage club that meets once a month the people in the year of mourning there are people who come for many years after and it's a i wouldn't call it a support group because the whole reason it works is because we don't call it a support group so it's a non-support group support group but we basically get together and we learn something about mourning and grieving and life and then people open up and they share and they're in a comfort zone a safe space of other people who are going through a similar circumstance and often the conversation comes back to a person who loses a loved one and i'm not talking about their 118 year old grandmother died and it's so sad but it's not tragic i mean people go through tragic circumstances and lose a loved one and they feel i can't smile i can't laugh i can't have fun because how could i move on what does it say about the person who's no longer here if i was able to laugh or smile or move on or have a moment but that's part of the process the beauty of our system says there's shiva there's shloshem there's the year there's then the year at saint the cisco we don't forget there's a yiskar and there's a euro site and we don't forget we mark our calendar and in some ways people's calendars revolve around remembering we don't forget we don't forget but by marking our calendar and designating time to remember we also give ourselves permission to live life to smile to laugh to enjoy without guilt without shame without hesitation and i think the same is true in life no matter what we're going through and again we can't tell people how to feel it's a famous article from a great therapist that i've once i've shared several times about comfort in and dump out wherever you are on the concentric circles of the problems in other people's life you can't tell people how to behave but even the people going through the hardest of times need to sometimes smile you sit in a shiva and they tell a funny story about their loved one they burst into laughter and it's cathartic so what they're not grieving no that's the form of grieving is to laugh is to live life is to remember through a moment of laughter so simcha the fact that we have the capacity to feel simcha the fact that we have the ability and we make the decision to be happy and to smile should never make us feel guilty and it doesn't suggest or imply that we've forgotten people close to us we love or their challenge or their circumstance we designate time to dove and to cry to be there to care but we also give ourselves permission to live because otherwise what is life so you have to smile you have to smile and if you have to set reminders on your phone set reminders on your phone once an hour we have apps that tell you to breathe there should be apps that tell you to smile i'm sure there are so i'm late to the game but there should be apps and reminders and alerts and things that buzz on your wrist and in your pocket and wherever else that's how you smile whenever you're doing i mean if you're at a funeral and the thing goes off maybe it's not the right time but i'm saying yeah assuming it's the right circumstance smile somebody's pouring their heart to you and crying you know the thing buzzes don't start smiling but assuming it's the right moment you have to smile it's a smile smiles our energy smiles our life smiles how we plug in when our battery is depleted and you need to revive and come back smile happiness joy is the way we plug in we're on page mayor morgenstern of ichimeyer morgenstern and he's talking about how frostless first of all we talked about the formula for joy and happiness the joy for happy living is to feel whole the reason we fail to feel happy is we feel incomplete we're feeling complete or broken something's missing in our life how we feel happy is by attaching ourselves to the source of wholeness who is the source of completion and wholeness only the almighty only the ribonus alone the hashem in heaven he is whole he is complete when we attach ourselves to the complete one we feel complete and then we can feel happy even when things are on whole even when things are missing so we're struggling we're suffering we're worried we're filled with anxiety we don't know what will be we calm ourselves by taking deep breaths we remember we attach ourselves to hashem we say hashem i submit and i surrender to you you are in charge you're in control my flight was canceled it was delayed i don't know will be will i be stuck i'm panic i'm frantic i'm running i'm rushing take a deep breath and i let go and i let go hashem you're in control you're in charge i'm waiting for a diagnosis a lab report a doctor's phone call i know i'll have to take care of something what will be when the time cut hashem i'm letting go there's nothing more for me to do so there's no reason to be anxious or panic i submit and i surrender something's missing in my life what's missing in all of our lives you know what's missing the confidence to know what will be none of us could ever know what we'll be none of us know what we'll be by the end of this year what message will come in what will happen in our lives we'll walk out that door god forbid we don't know what's waiting or what will come or what will occur none of us can live with confidence and surety about what will be in our lives so something is missing namely prophecy what's missing is confidence what missing is a crystal ball we're all incomplete in the sense that we don't know what will be so how do you get out of bed in the morning how do you operate how do you live how do you know what if i don't get there okay what if something happens to my child what if the deal doesn't go through what if i get diagnosed what if what if the joshua doesn't work out what if i have to run to use the restroom in the middle of speaking what it what what if what if what if all kinds of panics and fears and anxieties that people have so you could live life with that fear and that panic or you could let go and like god say i can't control i've done everything i can do to set up to live the best life i can live and there's nothing left for me to do so what's the point it never ever ever ever ever made anything better worry anxiety fear never made anything better if it motivates you to do more to be ready then great but when you've done all that you can and there are things out of your control and now you're just filled with worry and fear it has never made the flight come more on time it has never made the lab report come back better it has never made the people children's spouse the person that you're negotiating a deal with act the way you want it's never made anything better only worse all we do is sacrifice our emotional physical spiritual health in the process so let go and let god surrender and submit hashem i'm going to be bisimka you know why you are whole while i don't know what will be you do well i can't have confidence or a crystal ball in the future you have well i can't control the universe you can so you know what i attach myself to you i'm incomplete i'm unsure but you are the epitome you are the source of wholeness of completion so when i attach myself to you i have the confidence and the comfort and the ability to smile i could smile take a deep breath usually what comes before the smile is take a deep breath it's really hard to operate those micro muscles when they're so tense so when you're all tensed up you can't smile and just this morning in my daughtering you can't tell you how many times i did a check-in where i just tried to relax my shoulders it's a lot going on a lot my mind and a lot happening and a lot to do and a lot on the plate and i just felt like this dominance not flowing like i'm not here i'm there i'm in my to-do list i'm in my outlook calendar i'm in my emails i'm in my tasks i'm in my sense of being overwhelmed by what has to happen today and every day i'm not here i'm meant to be here right now and i felt that a lot lately and not only in my conversation with hashem but i could be sitting with my children or with jochen she's even protesting she's going to show up today because she's upset i'm not just joking she had jury duty this morning she is fulfilling her civic duty she was a good citizen but they already dismissed her so she's on her way back so um so you ever feel that you feel i have so much going on i'm not where i'm meant to be i'm not here with my children i'm not with my spouse i'm not in this conversation with hashem which i'm supposed to be having right now i'm not doing the thing i was meant to be doing right now i'm elsewhere i'm absolutely present so sometimes you have to center and ground yourself and the way to do that is to do a check-in to do a check-in with yourself in every which way we're going to get to the text i promise this is why it takes us so long like 28 minutes i ramble and then we get to like two minutes of breathing so just let me ramble for two more minutes so you gotta do a personal check-in and what's the personal check-in like how am i feeling and i realized i was so wound this is my dominance like choking and your muscles and your shoulders are over your head that's how like tense you are then you just take a couple deep breaths i'm not like a yoga like buddhist whatever right now i'm just this is just normal and not that that's not normal there's nothing wrong with that sorry but i'm saying i'm not like trying to compete with your yoga teacher right now i'm just saying you can in the middle of davening just take a deep breath and just let go and you'll watch your shoulders go down two feet i'm not exaggerating your shoulders can and only when you do that check-in do you realize how wound up you were you could be so wound up you're about to snap your muscles are about to tear your emotional muscles are torn up and shriveled and shredded you have to do that check and just breathe okay right now i gotta answer these emails right now i'm davening i'm here phone goodbye right now dinner with my family i'll get to what i have to do and scramble and bluff my way through a talk on the mirror leaving and running to shanghai okay fine i'll get whatever right now i have to and par so what usually precedes at least in my experience what precedes that smile is that deep breath because you can't smile when you're wound up you can't smile when your shoulders are punching you in the face you can't smile when you're just slow down that heart rate just let go of those shoulders take a deep breath we've shared countless times how do you say breath in hebrew yeshima how do you say soul in hebrew it's the same word you restore your soul through the breaths you take hashem placed our soul in our body through a breath the breath of life he breathes life into us and then we're breathing that life right out through the way that we live and so the way that we restore that breath that life that soul is through breathing so let's get a little hokey for a second we already made you smile half of you are never coming back here again already made you smile and now we're going to take a deep breath and then we'll get into the text ready just do that check in just let your shoulders go just loosen those muscles just let just relax deep breath i know there's a lot to do but there's nowhere else to be right now other than hearing the emotion the only other place to be is on another tab donating to the global campaign that's the only other place to be and if you don't i'll be wound up and stressed out so if you want me to be able to unwind and de-stress take a moment take a deep breath and then go on beerusonline.org global and do your part okay the whole wreck of orega back into viktor martin thank you for letting me get that out of my system i feel so much better now in every moment and every time hashem is opening the window every moment hashem is offering an invitation you know he went online now they're evites instead of through the mail like the whole world today so if you know if you have to make a list of the top 10 good things that came out of corona i would say evites instead of wasted money on invitations it's got to be like top three no never made sense to me invitations uh having had to do them a couple of times barack hashem a billion times over the cost of every invitation and it is designed to go in the garbage there's nothing that you there's no keepsake to an invitation you get it you mark your calendar and in one motion it comes from the mailbox into the garbage and people spend all kinds of money on it so this is one of the gifts of corona evites let's move it online let's give each other permission to do that so why are we talking about that invitation hashem this is my therapy hashem thank you hashem he opens the door he opens the window every moment hashem says no i'm here come on in he's a therapist he says come on in therapists you have to make an appointment they may not have a slot for you could be expensive when the clock strikes whatever amount of time they gave you you're out of there like vladimir you're in the middle of a sentence i'm sorry the thing went off 45 minutes are up see you next week but my heart is wide open my chest is open my heart is out here 45 minutes i'm sorry next appointment time is up ribonuclear says my couch is available my door is open 24 7. you know what it costs zero nothing all it costs is you're walking through that door all it costs is you're accepting that invitation the only cost is you're having that conversation and he says talk to me confide in me yell at me unload on me i'm here i'm here um so you know what happens hashem offers invitations all the time and he says i'm here lean on me let me support you let me listen to you let me express my care concern for you let me be my let me be your punching bag but we say no why because i'm stuck in the past i'm stuck in the past or i'm worried about the future so we forfeit the president you know what life is all about life is all about turning the page the secret to life the message to life you want a good life a happy life you want shalom bias in your marriage you want a great relationship with your children you want to succeed in business you want to be able to live with health and wellness physically you know it's all about you ready for this you learn and master the art of turning the page turning the page means yes yesterday's page is filled with hurt maybe yesterday's page is filled with happiness maybe yesterday's page is filled with failure maybe yesterday's page is filled with success yesterday's page could have so much written on it but how many people get stuck on yesterday's page and they just carry that same page with them over and over and over again and they're on the same page they can't turn the page can't turn the page we all know people like that we know people who 37 years ago we didn't answer a text and they still carry that around would you like to come for shabbos lunch oh that would be nice considering you text me 37 years ago when i texted you and you didn't answer me i'm glad at least now you invited me and you're like seriously really you know so they're all those people that are living on yesterday's page they have combined they have a matrix they have a spreadsheet they know exactly what you said what you did where you seated them at the simcha next to the band they know exactly you didn't respond to their response card so they're not responding to your fancy expensive response card there are people who walk around and they're on the same page you know what happens when you try to keep so much on one page you have to scribble and you're right in the margins and there's no there's no room when you're trying to write everything on one page and you keep re-reading the same page you know what you do when you re-read the same page you re-read the same hurt and you re-experience the same pain and you re-experience the same failure and you re-experience the same suffering because you just refuse to turn the page you're on the exact same page i once spoke on a on rosham kippur many years ago you could find it i think in our yamada-ram digest online but there is a very rare illness where people have an inability to forget you know sometimes and certainly if we have people in our lives with dementia with alzheimer's forgetting is a curse as we grow old forgetting is a curse we have to contend with we don't welcome it or we don't want it but forgetting is also a blessing it's an enormous blessing there's a handful of people in the world like this there's like 10 people in the whole world like this where you can say to them 50 years ago you say a date and they'll tell you what they were what you were what the weather was outside and every detail of what happened in their life i forgot the name of this condition there's literally maybe 10 people in the whole world with it they have an inability to forget there was a 60-minute segment about them and not coincidentally they're all divorced or never married because how could you have a marriage where you can't forget and forgive and move on where all the pain is remembered contained and compounded it builds upon itself so blessing is an enormous forgive forgetting is an enormous blessing i think i spoke about it on the yom kippur on the possible midbar we died we say in our davening we invoke the puzzle i think it's your miyo hashem says hashem says hashem has this incredible nostalgia he says i remember i remember when we went through the desert together i remember your kindness i remember how amazing it was how much love there was you followed me into the desert and we had such love and bliss and happiness and joy and you really hashem that's what you remember you know what i remember complaining miserable frabison of terrible incorrigible jewish people and that's what you remember hashem it was a miserable trip from the second you took us into the dead was there yet i didn't get more water and the meat's not good and uh seed is terrible and uh my seat doesn't go back and the air conditioning is not set right in the hashem's like you remember it was amazing i loved it it was fantastic it was great so what's the shot what does hashem say that hashem is the perfect memory so the answer is you know what hashem chooses to employ selective memory hashem says you know how this relationship is going to work only if i have selective memory because if i actually use my divine memory you don't have a shot if i remember everything every moment you're finished the only way that you've got a chance is if i employ selective memory and in the young the rhyme we remind ourselves you know we've got to use a little bit more selective memory a little bit more selective memory yeah you hurt me 2 700 years ago but you know what i'm choosing not to remember that there are people who have a chronic problem of doing this very special amazing people in this room who let people walk on them hurt them and they never stand up for themselves they forget so quickly that it's actually the opposite problem it's the opposite problem there are people who are so quick to forget so easy to forget who turn the page so quickly they allow themselves to be hurt that's also a danger it's also a problem it's also a problem so you have to turn the page at the right pace you have to know how and when to turn the page when someone earns turning the page and when they deserve for you to still still be on that page because they haven't earned it yet so this is a complicated subject and i don't mean to minimize it or dilute it by just trying to cover it quickly but that's what you're here is saying this is the eight sahara the atari says get stuck get stuck you've got your spreadsheet and that's all that's open in front of you all the people and the things and the hurt and the emails and the texts and what they've said what they've done our children our spouse our co-worker our neighbor guy next to me in shul the woman who sits near me and that's right in front of that one page i can't turn the page so i just remember god that you i felt you were once not there and now i can't ever talk to you again so the secret to life the secret to success if you take nothing else out from today it's not me it's a rich admirer is a new page a blank slate every morning we wake up and there's a new page there's a new page you know they're people walk around notebooks all day some of you have them i don't know how you find anything in the day wherever every meeting every conversation every share there is a value to the exercise of writing it helps you remember better but within the notebook i don't know how you find things and how many notebooks and where they are and how you know and indexes you create but the beauty of having a notebook in life is you can wake up every morning in the very first exercise hashem thank you i'm alive my faculties work i'm so grateful and now i take my notebook and here's how i start my day turn the page turn the pitch it's a new day loss we started in snippets ms vyatsev after shema we say emma's reactive in the morning at night because hashem we see you in the morning the light the clarity the beauty the possibility the optimism the hope a night where we live with the failed dreams the stumble the suffering the hurt then we have to tap into the amuna in the morning it's night it's the morning it's clear at night we're in the cloak of darkness same as we ought to have in the morning at night but we wake up in the morning our coffee cups are almost ready i'm sorry i have to let go right so the next batch no next we're going to do notebooks notebooks that say turn a new page start a new page notebooks new page every day a new page a new page a new page for your sp you know you wake up so the night before you had it out with your spouse whatever usually it's not that important behind it out with you spouse and the joshua recently i mentioned the five five by five rule it's not my rule i don't even remember whose rule it is but there's a five by five rule i actually saw someone the other night who told me that it's changed his life the five by five rule mostly because his wife reminds him all the time about the five by five rule and he's able to let things go the five by five rule is if it won't matter in five years don't spend more than five minutes on it whatever you're upset about right now if it won't matter in five years don't spend more than five minutes give yourself the five minutes because they're frustrating things they're things that upset you don't pretend they're not upsetting you they can upset you for five minutes but it won't matter in five years you could change it if it won't matter in five weeks five days then don't think about it for more than five minutes so things that we get all bent out of shape that person said this i can't believe the school the show's policy is that i can't will that matter in five years think about where your life will be in five years think about please guide your family in five years think about what will be happening in five years and will you still be hung up on that policy policy of the institution or the thing the person said or that lunch invitation unit will you still be hung up if it won't matter in five years don't spend more than then five minutes turn the page it's the secret to life so you have it out with your spouse at night and when you wake up in the morning you could either remember oh yeah i forgot i'm in a fight there are people there are people who do that they're people like hi good morning oh shoot i forgot i'm in a fight i forgot i'm supposed to be upset i forgot we're not really talking darn it how do i go back there not talking i forgot we're not talking so that's one attitude towards marriage that's what makes therapists a lot of money or you could wake up and say you know what there are issues we have to resolve as dr john gottman says in every fight there was a conversation that needed to happen that didn't happen so there are conversations that need to happen we'll have that conversation but you know what new page new page turn in the page leave a notebook next to your bed you don't have to write anything in it ever just turn the page it's just the exercise the mental image i'm turning the page you know what last night you said that thing you did that thing you didn't come to bed yet i'm i'm turning the page so i would want you to turn the page for me i had a bad day i want you to turn the page turn the page come to work with the kids with the turn the page it's a secret to life daf khadash turn the page and we want to turn the page today so let's do one more sentence person has to think as it says i was born today today is the first day of my life i'm one day old i'm one hour old i'm one minute old i'm as old as this new page i just turned it's a new life it's a new lease on life it's a brand new start it's a fresh beginning it's a fresh beginning we have this opportunity every day is a new day and every mote shabbas will have dilbey we have the opportunity it's a new week it's going to be a new week it starts with light it's we're learning now about abdullah and we learned mishra quotes there's a practice we started several years ago i highly encourage it to have two tea lights two candles and from the haddalah candle you light two candles and they burn motei shambas and they sit on your dining room table and from abdullah you light the two candles and then you go and you scurry and you have your motei shabbos you get your pizza you go to your office and bonham you have 17 events to attend to we're about to change the clock i love it i can't wait but to change the clock you get your motif showers back so whatever you're going to scurry and go and do and then you come home and you see the two lights that are still burning and you say you know what there's a little light of shaba still going i haven't yet gone to the rest of the week still a little light that's still going that from the light of shabbos you experience shabbos and shabbos is its light and then from the light of shabbas you have the candle and from the candle you light two lights two tea lights of course the next to nothing two th what did tea lights cost next to nothing you'd be surprised how long they burn often we go out on multi shoppers we have things to do and we go back and we come back and those lights are still there and they remind me as much of the weekend i have to do when i to go no the light of shabbos is still burning still a little bit more light there's still a little bit more light so every morning we wake up it's a fresh day it's a new page and every mote shabbas every sunday it's a new week and tonight is rosh chodesh thursday friday rosh about to launch the second adar it's a new month and then we have a new year so the entire calendar our lives our time consciousness revolves around new beginnings and fresh start and invitations to turn the page turn the page stop living and being stuck in the past stop holding on to the hurt stop living in the failure stop living with the anger and resentment stop stewing in the sadness and turn the page give yourself permission to turn the page allow yourself to let go and say that doesn't have to be me that wound up nervous hilaria that person whose shoulders were taller than their head the person who couldn't breathe that doesn't have to be me that was yesterday that was the me of yesterday i'm letting go turning the page it's a blank slate i get to define and draw who i am today i get to create the image of who i am today it's a new day it's a new me and you know what you start with i'll close with this idea that we're going to get notebooks and we're going to every day turn the page and the first thing we're going to draw on the new page every day is a smile smile every day we're going to turn the page and draw a smile and now you're ready to go now you can write 4 000 things you have to do now you can write down the people who said things you got to work out and reconcile and the conversations you have to have every day a new page and every day the top of that new page needs to be a smile and that will change our lives again this is richard meyer this is simcha simcha we're working towards the month of aadhaar we're beginning the second aadhaar thank you thank you appreciate it adam i'm telling you the same voice hazard a month later not when we enter the calendar month of other nicknames when other enters us what does other enter us other aleph is hashem the one and only dar means to live when hashem lives in us and hashem lives in our world when adar enters us when you live life on your own you think you're in charge and you're in control you think you're to blame when you live with poor pride and arrogance envy and anger then you're filled with sadness enters us not we enter the month of other when the month of other when the attitude of adar enters us when we live with al of dar we see hashem everywhere and we lean on hashem and we confide in hashem and we submit to hashem then i ever happened to skip down the street in life because you say i don't know what's going to happen today i don't know what's in store i don't know how i'm going to get through this or out of this or over this or under this but all i know is hashem's in charge he's in control he's got a plan and everything he does is for my best and i can't wait to find out what happens turn your life into like a movie that you can't wait to find out what happens now you're a character in the play you're a character in the movie so you've got to play your part you've got to play your role you've got to recite your script but you don't know what's happening in the next scene so instead of being filled with anxiety and worry be filled with curiosity so curious how this plays out so curious what happens next i'm so curious what he has in store it's like someone who loves you blindfolds you and says i'm taking you away where just come with me i'm so curious hashem i'm so curious i'm with you it's vegas i'm clinging to you i'm with you i'm so curious what you have in store so i have a smile in my face as i wait to find out join us tonight from behind the bema i'll be speaking to my friend rafal from the ukraine he's uh runs the tikva odessa orphanage he has hundreds and hundreds of orphans and a whole system and community that they took out five days ago on buses with private security and they're driving all over ukraine for trying to find safety security be getting an update from him from the ukraine and speaking to abelia stefanski who went from giving a daft to eight people in chicago for four people in chicago for eight years and today gives a daftyome how many people you think listen today 10 000. what is he doing that gets 10 000 people to listen tune in tonight but only after you go on the global website so if you want to put a smile on my face and enable me to turn the page if you're a bs member i'm not talking to you do your part but if you're not a brs member please brsonline.org global instead of telling me how much you enjoy the amount of share show me how much you enjoy that we'll share brsonline.org global stay happy stay healthy stay holy