Living With Emunah (Part 221) - Happiness Within Sadness

Good morning and good everyone. Welcome back to living with and I want to thank our generous sponsors for the series for the year Dr. Bella Morgan who sponsored memory of Brian Galvin and a memory of Dr. Ellen sir. Thank you so much for your generosity and your sponsorship. There are so sheets up here for anyone who would like not only good morning but good dish to all as well as we are celebrating the very first day of the mission of Adam Marvin the simple other has begun which means you have to be happy and that's our topic that we are learning and studying the connection between and simple the connection between having a life of of calm of peace of mind of serenity being able to smile and be joyful and live life with the happiness and optimism and positivity is all a reflection is a barometer is the metric of the that we are living with that we are living with when a person is sad and despondent person is down and out when a person feels hopeless and helpless it means they feel that they are absolutely all alone when a person says I'm never down and out situation is never helpless and that whatever happens no matter how tragic painful difficult it is it's for a reason then they're able to somehow maintain their simple so before we go by to before we go further in the safer we're learning Morgan Stern I want to offer one clarification because one of our listeners sent me an email with a very fair question flash criticism slash question mostly question and I want to try to clarify I want to clarify because she wrote you know we've been studying about simple and we've said that simple is the reflection of our level of Mona if you're if you believe in a sham you feel his presence if you're in conversation with him if you know that he's holding us up supporting us carrying us if you know that nothing in our lives is random or chance but everything is by design and for a reason then you'll be the simple you'll have a skip in your step you'll be whistling you'll be walking down the street with a smile no matter what's going on in your life and she writes to me fairly so but what happens when something terribly painful person sustains a loss person has a disappointment person has an enormous regret what happens when someone is feeling down is feeling traumatized in pain is shaken by something that happened aren't we supposed to believe and haven't we also spent time I don't know what we're number we're up to in our living with series but in the hundreds of that we've had we've also spoken and taken time we've also talked about that even when you feel you're down and out a sham is right there by your side that you're never too low to turn to a sham you know it's a matter of time a sham says I'm with you in pain wherever you are fact motion when a sham first recruits him to be the leader of the Jewish people he recruits him in the unusual circumstance the unusual phenomena of the bush that's on fire but not being consumed the snare in it's not being consumed so Rashi there already quotes what kind of a bush what kind of a flora did a sham reach out to motion from a bed of roses violets beautiful purple Bougainvillea what do they call them Bougainvillea where from where did a sham reach out some magnificent hedges that are shaped in swans a thorn bush a lowly thorn bush and why did a sham reach out to motion from a lowly thorn bush he created all the flora all the landscape he created the whole world certainly could have chosen a more beautiful backdrop why did he choose a lowly thorn bush Rashi says because a sham is telling us Jewish people are in slavery and servitude they're in pain I'm not coming to you from a bed of roses I'm coming to you from a thorn bush I'm with you I feel that pain I'm right next to you I'm not feeling sympathy I'm feeling empathy it's not that I feel bad for you I feel bad with you so she writes to me all this emphasis on simple doesn't make a person feel guilty who talk of feels sad there are legitimate reasons to feel sad there are legitimate reasons to be in pain there are legitimate reasons to feel down and out so this emphasis on simple and simple being the metric or barometer of the what kind of faith that we have do we have happiness and we've spoken a lot about a sham like people doesn't want to be around a negative sad person right we're drawn to positivity and we are lifted and our lives are enriched when we're around the people that are positive and optimistic and hopeful that's what comes us and that's what brings us happiness and just like we don't want to be around a sad sad negative cynical complaining hypercritical people neither does a sham so she writes to me so does that mean that a sham doesn't want to be around me I'm sad right now I'm not happy I'm dealing I'm struggling I'm facing I'm confronting challenging times I'm sad I'm sad so does a sham not want to be around me what happened to a sham Sarah what happened to a sham says I'm with you in the thorn bush I'm with you in whatever circumstance I'm with you in whatever state I'm with you with whatever you're going through what happened fair question right I thought it was a fair question I didn't write her back yet I thought this was easier I'll send her the link or maybe she's watching um but I think the answer is the following when we talk about these principles we're talking about them in large but certainly there are circumstances and chapters and periods of our life where we are between these things this is what we strive for this is our ambition this is our goal there are people who suffered people who struggled nevertheless are able to maintain a certain level of it's extraordinary extraordinary it's angelic not even saying necessarily we're capable or responsible for there are stories of people who walked through concentration camps who lived in ghettos there are people who were hiding in the forest while it was painful and suffering and struggling debilitating horrific horrific horrific they probably did not have a skip in their step and they weren't whistling down the street but they were able to maintain and preserve a certain sense of a of a happiness in life of living in the moment of appreciating any good that there was or that there is I think I told you recently when we visited in Israel and I asked him how he's able to be so joyful he lost the love of his wife his partner Robinson list one of the extraordinary people of our time and he gave the great martial the great example that I shared just like you say my phone is dead my iPad's dead my laptop died and then you plug it in and it comes back to life he knows that she will come back to life some mason so she's not gone and she's not dead just like your iPad or your computer it's temporarily inaccessible and it will get plugged in and be back to life so therefore he continues to live her values he feels her presence and he has a happiness he didn't feel guilty he wasn't apologizing he's not defensive about it are you going to tell me never said that is no longer here can't imagine I'm sure he is in moments of simple that he's celebrating within his family every Friday night when he has the unusually large crowd I'm sure he feels the sadness all the time but he's made the decision to be happy it's a decision so to the dear listener who emailed me the answer is it's okay to be sad sometimes it's okay we have a whole institution of Alice just before I came here so on the phone with somebody who's father died and we have to plan everything right after the it's sad I wouldn't say to him look this is a sham's plan so smile be happy father's gone be happy this is his plan and you'll plug him in he'll come back to life they'll be with me to say such a thing is cruel it's cruel to inhumane it's against Torah it's against Allah Allah we go to a Shiva call we say I'm welcome you with him something's missing something's lacking there's a hole in your heart may a sham feel it may you feel whole of course there's grief there's Alice the reason is no on Yom Tov the holiday comes and we're learning this now the holiday comes in the middle of Shiva it interrupts and it cancels the Shiva in the middle of it cancels the why the answer is because they're incompatible a holiday is a time of simple great joy and is a time of great grief and grief and joy are incompatible there's not a while you sit Shiva you have to do it with a smile there's no such thing it's with a tear do we not all sit on the ground do we not cry and mourn and grieve for the loss the calamities the tragedies throughout the centuries and the millennia we didn't cancel from the calendar cuz you have to be the simple so there are moments and there are times there are experiences and there are episodes there are chapters in our life where we are sad and a sham is sitting right down next to us a sham is there with his arm around us a sham is not feeling sympathy for us he's feeling empathy with us you know it hurts him too it pains him too that expression of godliness of a sham in this world is no longer here with the loss of that person when a person is going through a challenging time with a child you have to go to parent teacher conferences or having a prescription filled or going to a therapist and you're struggling with a certain child you turn to a sham and you say a sham the says there are three partners in a person father the mother and you so guess what a sham you're coming to parent teacher conferences with us you're coming to the therapist with us I want you to be as sleepless at night and cry as much and worry as much as we do cuz you're the third parent we're all in this together and a sham says I'm right there with you 100% there are moments of sadness we don't deny it we're not in denial of it we experience it we can lean into it but we can't persevere or get stuck there we can't have it become who we are forever there's no judgment of people who've gone through great loss and not bounced back or recovered no judgment God forbid no one until he's walked in anyone else's shoes can ever judge them so I share that not from judgment we are learning this aspirationally We are learning this as our goal and we are learning this and this is really my answer to that person who emailed me. I think I think that even while you're sitting on the ground said literally or figuratively even while you're going through a painful moment if you realize you know Hashem at least there's meaning to this pain. At least my faith allows me to believe that it's not random or chance that it's not simply for no reason but that there's meaning and there's order that there's something that one day I'll come to learn or understand. I know you're by my side. I know you're the one who prescribed this. I know for somehow and some reason this is what's right and for the best and therefore even within my sadness I can feel a certain sense of simcha. Simcha doesn't have to mean a smile and laughter. Simcha can mean feeling whole. There's nothing I told you the Kotsker there's nothing as as whole as a broken heart. There's nothing as whole as a broken heart. So even when my heart is broken it feels whole to be broken because I'm with you because you complete me because you compliment me because you make me feel whole. So our goal is not to deny sadness or create guilt over grief. When those feelings when those moments come feel them but feel he's there with you. Not where are you and why and how could you but you're right by my side. I don't understand it. I'm protesting. I'm objecting. I'm not happy that this is what you think is best. But simultaneously as much as I take my initiative I also accept and recognize that you're in charge you're in control. I submit. I surrender to you and in that there is a joy and a happiness. In that there is a simcha that I could submit and surrender to you. There's a simcha that you're in charge that you're in control that there is a reason. You know you ever have a kid that's up all night screaming crying in pain not feeling well sick. So first thing you take him to the doctor. What is the best thing in the world that a doctor could tell you? Ear infection. Strep throat. What is the worst thing a doctor can tell you? Viral. Some virus going around. Sorry. The doctor says ear infection strep throat prescription antibiotic by tomorrow will be feeling a lot better. By day three you can go to school. Today is 6:17 Q-tips up their nose first but eventually they'll get back to school. Why? What do you mean my kid has strep? Or the truth is it's true for us as adults too. We don't feel well we're sick. You go to the doctor. When the doctor says I've examined you up and down through and through did a lab it's viral. Good luck. Feel better. Have chicken soup. And you say ah now I don't feel well and my pain and suffering has no meaning. I don't know what it is or how to get out of it. But when you know the diagnosis and you know the cure and you know the reason you can identify then you can feel okay. The parent takes the child out to the pharmacy to pick up the antibiotic because it's an ear infection or strep throat is besimcha. Not besimcha the child suffering or they didn't sleep the whole night before but besimcha there's a reason. I understand there's a reason for it and we're going to come out of it. Hashem doesn't give us the diagnosis of the challenges we're through. He doesn't send us an email that says this is the reason this is the meaning this is the purpose this is why I did it. But yet when we can go through life understanding this this is not a random virus this is there's a diagnosis. There's a reason Hashem is putting us through whatever he's putting us through then we can feel the simcha within the pain. And that's really my answer to the author of the email. There's a simcha even within the pain. Don't deny the pain. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel shame about being in pain or struggling. But when you realize that Hashem is right by your side and he gives us the strength the tenacity the resilience to be able to get through it when we know that he's suffering with us when we know that it's not random but it's for a reason then we can find a simcha even within even within the pain. So I wanted to start with that. I hope it's a clarification. I'll share with you the email I probably will get next week of whether that clarified or not. We're on page kuf mem tes 149. The safer B'yam Derech Hachaim Rav Yitzchak Meir Morgenstern known affectionately as Rav Itcha Meir Morgenstern and we're up to the left hand column lachein hasimcha emamesh miyessod ha'avodah. This is I'm going to tell you a word I've said a million times. I'm going to say it a million more. I said it last night in sinner snippets. I said it Friday at the beach. Saying it to you today. The day I become a broken record and you all stop coming I'll hang them up and move to Israel. But until then my favorite divrei Torah I'm going to keep repeating for myself not for you. The Moreh Enaim the Chernobyl Rebbe there were once Jews in Chernobyl before that meant you glow glow in the dark because of horrific tragedy that happened there. We hear the word Chernobyl we associate right away with a terrible tragedy. But there was holy Jews in Chernobyl there was a Chernobyl Rebbe. He was the father of a dynasty of Chassidus. All the Twer Twer Twersky's Skver and all comes from comes down from Chernobyl. So Chernobyl Rebbe has a safer Moreh Enaim and Moreh Enaim he says the following Mish Enichnas Adar today is Rosh Chodesh Adar. It's the first of Adar. And we've got two months 60 days. We've got two shots at this this year. We've got the extra leap year. Mish Enichnas Adar Marbin Besimcha. The month of Adar we add we increase we promote we expand the sense of simcha the joy the smile the happiness or the confidence the faith the belief that everything is for a reason even if it doesn't manifest externally but inside we're able to feel whole by filling whatever's missing with the knowledge that Hashem does everything for a reason. So what does it mean? It's the simple understanding Mish Enichnas Adar Marbin Besimcha is when we enter the month of Adar Mish Enichnas when you enter Adar the month of Adar Marbin we expand our simcha. But that's a really tough it's a really tough obligation. Just because the calendar says today is the first of Adar? What if you're going through a challenging time? What if Corona's weighing on you? What if whatever other disappointment or challenge you're going through? So Mish Enichnas you looked at the calendar ah I checked Google. I checked my Outlook. I checked the funeral home calendar. I checked whatever calendar I use ah it's Adar. Ah I'll just put on my smile. It's Adar. Some counterfeit fake smile because it's Adar? How does that work? So the Chernobyl Rebbe says it's not about our entering the month of Adar Mish Enichnas Adar it's about Adar entering us. And what does it mean for Adar to enter us? He says the word Adar Adar alef dar. Alef is one the one and only the unique the distinct Hashem. The one alef also the the letter alef is spelled aloof alef alef lamed pei. Aloof means the mighty the one and only the great the source of everything. Aloof dar alef dar. You see we go through the other months of the year we go through our lives and Hashem is hidden. Hashem is hidden you can't find him. We want to want to grab on. We want to hug. We want to hear his voice. We want to talk to him. But you can't see him. There's a hiddenness to him. There's a hiddenness to Hashem. There's a hester panim. There are times in our life where we feel he's right in front of us. You have a magnificent experience in nature. You experience a magnificent miracle. Something seems to all work out that you thought was not going to and in that moment you feel the divine presence. You're in the presence of the divine and you know with confidence and certainty there is a God and he's involved in my life. Those are incredible moments but they're far and few between. For the most part we say where are you and how can I find you and I'm in search for you. Why are you hiding? There's a hester panim. He's hiding. Our job in this world is Adar. Alef dar. To bring Hashem to live and dwell down here with us. To look for him to peel back the layers and to find him. To find him. Again have a hashgacha pratit what's out there. And to find him the hashgacha pratit the little coincidences the random things that happened the things that came together the things that worked out and said that wasn't random or chance. That wasn't coincidence. That was you. That was you. You showed your face in that moment. When I got that parking spot or when that thing worked out or when the person called just at that moment or when I pulled up just in time or when the thing that was you. You showed your face in my life. Hashgacha pratit it came together. It was a moment of tremendous hashgacha. That was you. That was you. Alef dar. That was you. So our mission our challenge in life Mish Enichnas Adar not to enter the month of Adar but the month of Adar to enter us. And then Marbin Besimcha. When Adar when it enters us to live a life in which we are looking for revealing identifying Hashem giving him a dirah betachtonim giving him a dwelling place down here on earth exposing revealing talking about him then Marbin Besimcha then you feel more simcha in your life. You know the degree to which you're on your own good luck. You go buy yourself on your own. And my children often have to go do something and they say Abba can you just come with me? Just come with me to the Corona test. Just come with me to fill the car with gas. Just come with me to go buy the thing. Why? Just go do it. You got it. Nothing's going to happen to you. I just feel better. Just just come with me. Just come with me. If you're there your presence gives me more confidence. Makes me feel everything will be okay. There's a backup who I know has my back if something goes wrong. Can you just just come with me? It's the shul parking lot. It's 30 seconds away. Just go get tested. Why do I have to come with you? Or it's why? Why do I have to The answer is cuz your presence just means something. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says I'm coming where do you want to go? I'm I'm coming with you. You need me to go with you through Costco? You need me to go with you to the DMV? You want me to come with you to get tested for Corona? You need me to sit with you in the waiting room at the doctor's office? You want me to come with you to the lab while you're waiting for that lab report? I'm coming with you. If my mere presence gives you comfort and confidence gives you strength I'm there. When we go through life knowing he's by our side knowing he's by our side we feel better calmer less anxious more confident more more ready to take on whatever comes our way. So that's what these months are. That's not going to get into perm because we still have 6 weeks till then but that's the holiday of perm I say every year Megillah's Esther Esther comes from Nister Hashem is hidden. Esther Megillah's Esther Megillah of the Nister our job is to peel back and find Hashem that's the whole essence of perm that falls in Adar. So in the in the month of Mishna Adar when Adar enters us all of Adar that the one and only God comes down and lives here on Earth with us and that enters us and we live in we celebrate perm and what is perm? How many times does Hashem's name appear in the Megillah? Zero Bobkiss Gurnisht none zero nothing. Hashem's name doesn't appear. You read the story it's a remarkable story 10 beautiful chapters Hashem's name doesn't appear once. What's it doing in the canon? What's it doing in Tanakh? What's it doing among our holy scriptures? There was a debate whether it should be in there but it is. Why is it one of the 24 books of Tanakh one of the crown jewels of the Jewish people? Hashem's name doesn't even appear. If you think about it for a moment it's insane. One of the books of our religious canon does not have God's name. It is a secular book without God's name with no reference to God. Is that crazy? Now the truth is God's name does appear every time the word Hamelach is used. From the Gaon said every time the word king is used it's a reflection to description it's God. But more than that the whole purpose of the book is to realize that the Megillah is written with black letters on white parchment. The Weinberger spoke about it the other night when he was here. Black letters on white parchment. Hashem's name doesn't appear in black letters but it's all over the white parchment. And the question is do we only read the black letters? Do we live our lives only reading the lines or do we see what's between the lines? Do we only read what's written on the lines or do we live our life reading between the lines? Reading the lines of our life is just the doctor the co-worker the boss the family member the friend this is what's happening to me. Reading between the lines is there's a Hashem. There's a Hashem. Everything's for a reason everything's for meaning everything's for purpose everything's by design. So when I can find Hashem I peel back and I discover and I try to understand what's the message and what do you mean and you're right with me and therefore I'm not worried and we'll take on whatever's coming our way. So when we do that Marbin Besimcha if you only read the black letters sometimes you have a lot of reasons to be sad lonely afraid anxious but can you when you could read and find Hashem's name on the white parchment then you can build your confidence and your faith and you could believe and you could feel good. Besimcha doesn't mean whistling and happy and smiling. Besimcha means feeling whole feeling confident feeling able to take on whatever greets you for that day. Okay let's start. Page left hand column. Velo chein Velo chein Asimcha Mamesh Mitzvah Simcha is one of the core foundations of Avoda. You know we call work work we call service of Hashem Avoda. Avodas Hashem. Why is it called Avodas Hashem? Because it's hard work. Hard work. I know you're sitting here listening and thinking and I'm thinking it while I say it. This is what we're meant to do why is it so hard? Why aren't we taught it? Is there a curriculum of Simcha in Jewish education? Unfortunately so many of our most core and central values ideals beliefs are absent. That's not to blame any of our amazing educators at our schools who are under such pressure to cover other parts of curriculum but this is a personal pet peeve of mine. I believe every Chumash class every Navi class every Halacha class every Gemara class the punchline should be this. Yes this is what happened in the story in Chumash what does that teach us about Emunah faith in Hashem Simcha Bitachon? Yes in Navi these characters underwent that experience that episode what does that teach us about how they dealt with it their resilience their faith and so on. That's the Halacha what does that show us about Hashem's blueprint for this world his formulas prescription for how we're meant to live. The punchline of every class in Jewish education should be what does this mean for our relationship with Hashem? So yes we were learning the Halacha the law or we were learning the narrative of the Chumash or the Navi or we were learning the Gemara and how it was derived in the back and forth and my ox scores your ox and so on. But what does that mean about Hashem's will? What does it mean about Hashem's way? What does it mean about Hashem's presence in our lives? That has to be the punchline of every conversation in Jewish education. It it has to not be possible that a Jewish child graduates Jewish education and says I can repeat the 39 Melachos and I can tell you all the months of the year and I can tell you all the stories in Chumash and Navi but I don't have a relationship with Hashem. No one ever talked to I don't know who he is what he wants from me I don't feel his presence I don't know how to talk or spend time with him I don't know what it means to be Besimcha because I can trust that he's always there and with me. It can't be it can't be that they could graduate and never have these conversations. So it should come easy we feel it should be core and basic foundational central but it's called Avoda and the reason it's called Avoda is because it's work. Avodas Hashem is hard work. It's hard work. But is there any meaningful relationship in your life that's not? That's not? If someone tells me you know we dated we fell in love it was love at first sight we got married and it's been bliss and seamless we never have had one fight and all we are is perfectly in love all the time and there's birds chirping and there's it's unbelievable I say nebach I believe them but they must have a very shallow marriage. They must have a very superficial marriage. It can't be very deep it can't be very rich it can't be very dynamic it can't be very filled with energy and electricity and romance because that's just not possible. Two human beings who are different and from different backgrounds who are trying to integrate their lives it's work it's hard work. Another one of the things that we omit when we teach our children. Depending on which school and which background they start talking about getting married I don't know kindergarten or pre-K too but by ninth 10th by 12th grade seminary they're already focused almost exclusively on marriage. Does anyone talk about how hard work it is? Does anyone mention that it's hard work? So don't be frustrated and don't despair if shortly into it you have to work on it. We're learning about ourselves we're growing that's the purpose of marriage. It helps it challenges us to be our best selves to think and to care outside of ourselves to compromise and to sacrifice. So is there a relationship in life which is not hard work? Is parenting not hard work? We long for we wait we daven with Hashem's help and we bless all those who are waiting they should have children grandchildren great-grandchildren. But you daven you long for you wait you think it's going to be amazing and then that first sleepless night the first explosive diaper the first virus undiagnosed illness from the doctor. And by the way all these are the little problems. Little children little problems big children big problems. Then you get to the big problems. Then there's you know defiance then there's rejection then there's challenge with communication. Is it not hard work to be a parent? So show me a meaningful relationship in your life and it's going to be hard work. There is no meaningful relationship that doesn't have hard work. Sorry for the graphic description there. That's the best part of being a zaida you don't have to deal with any of that. You have a Bobby. She somehow reason likes that but um there's no relationship in life that's meaningful and that's worth it that doesn't take hard work. And the same is true of our relationship with Hashem. It's called Avoda for a reason it's hard work it's work it's work to remember to be Besimcha. Some people the default status they wake up in the morning and the default is to be sad not happy. The default is to assume something's wrong and just wait to figure out what it is. The default is to know there's something to complain about and to just find out what that is. And other people wake up and they're happy and even when there's something to complain about or a reason to be sad they choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice it is not an emotion. Happiness is a choice it is a decision it is not an emotion. The Mitzvah Gedolah is one The Mitzvah Gedolah it's a Mitzvah Gedolah if there was Hashem Besimcha. It's not just a Mitzvah we're not usually in the business of ranking Mitzvahs but this one we do. It's a Mitzvah Gedolah Liyos Besimcha. It's a great Mitzvah. So Hashem is Baruch Hashem is with us and to be happy that he's with us. To be happy that he's with us. Sometimes you're going through a challenging time or a hard time and you have that loving marriage that loving partner and you say this is miserable it's difficult I'm really afraid but there's no one else in the world I'd rather go through it at least I'm happy that I'm doing it with you. In a good healthy marriage situation you say this is miserable it's challenging it's difficult I don't know how we'll get through it but at least I'm happy I feel happiness and comfort and strength that we're doing it together I'm doing it with you. So going back again to our emailer there can be a sadness and a suffering a challenging time but Hashem I'm brought happiness there's a Simcha there's a wholeness that at least I'm doing it with you. Doing it with you. We're princes and princesses we're royalty we're children of Hashem literally literally we are the children of Hashem. We have a there's a piece of God in us in us and he's with us wherever we are. When when this in truth it gives you strength, gives you power, gives you confidence, gives you courage. To be able to confront whatever's coming our way, but I taste me calling a feel us to be able to get up from every time we're knocked down. We get knocked down. There are things that knock us down. There are people who say things and do things that are hurtful. They knock us flat. They knock us down. There's unexpected challenges in health God forbid or wellness. They knock us down emotionally, spiritually. They knock us over. There are things we had a burst pipe in a wall, one of our kids' room, a leak in the floor. It's out of nowhere. What a lesson by the way. Last night you have it was showing me the pipe. Immediately they broke up on the wall. They replaced that little piece of the pipe, but now the work starts of figuring out what has to be done. Do you call insurance? What do you pull up? How do you do it and everything else? So I said the little piece of the pipe is on the counter that they took out. I said, "Where's the leak?" You could barely see a little pinpoint leak in the pipe. So I said, "You know, the leak in the pipe, it's frustrating, it's upsetting. We'll figure it out. That's the sad part. But you know what the miracle is? That this house is filled with pipes that don't have that little leak." It's a miracle. It's an absolute miracle. Right? When's the last time you stopped in the morning when you said you said, "And I thank you that my pipes don't leak." By the way, in my house, in my body, in my whatever. Thank you that my pipes don't leak. Next time you say think about the pipes in your house too. It's a miracle. It's a miracle. When was your house built? How many years has water been flowing through those pipes? The pressure, the change in temperature, intense heat in the winter, in the summer, the intense cold we've had here in the winter. What? Is it not a miracle that the pipes in your house don't once every year burst? It's a miracle. A little tiny little that that creates all this damage. A tiny little I thought it'd be a big crack. The pipe just split in half. The whole wall filled with what? A little pin You can't You can't even find it without a tool to measure that they found where it was. Tiny little pin. It's a miracle. It's a miracle you have indoor plumbing. Can you imagine having to go to an outhouse every time? Imagine what taking a bath looked like not that long ago. Indoor plumbing is a Thank you. It's a miracle. He says, "You know, you come at me when everything goes wrong. When's the last time you said thank you to me when everything is right? In the comfort and convenience of indoor plumbing. When's the last time you said thank you when everything was working? When the pipes were all flowing? You're only going to come at me and say, "Why me?" and "How could you?" when the pipe bursts? When the rest of the time they're all flowing, it's all working? It's a miracle. It's an unbelievable miracle. How could you not be We'll gladly fix this. Thank you for not bursting once a month. Once a week? Once a year? We'll fix it because it's a miracle that we have pipes. It's a miracle we have indoor plumbing. It's a miracle that a toilet flushes. How does that work? It's a miracle. It cleans itself out. It flushes. It's indoor plumb It's an absolute miracle. It's a miracle. It's not even electric. You can use it on It's a miracle. You understand that toilet's not being electric was designed for Jews. Now there are fancy schmancy toilets. They take a lab sample. It's unbelievable. Electric. They plug in. But I'm saying the basic toilet was designed for you. How else does it make sense that a toilet has no electric component that it's a on Shabbos? What would Shabbos look like if in addition to having to tear toilet paper before Shabbos, we had to figure out on Shabbos because toilets were not usable. There's miracles all around us. You're amazing. Thank you for the toilet. Thank you for the pipes, the indoor plumbing. You're amazing. You're everywhere and I feel such gratitude and I'm so about the little things. You're incredible. When we recognize this we have the to face whatever is on us. And I taste me calling a feel us and to get up. So you're knocked down. How do I this should be the biggest way that anyone is ever knocked down? A little pipe in the work that you have to do. It's annoying. It's frustrating. It's difficult, but it should be the biggest challenge that we ever have. But it knocks you down because you weren't expecting to deal with it and the many hours it will take. So you get up from it though with him. And you say for whatever reason it was meant to be that that pipe would burst. Whatever reason, maybe we'll figure out why. Maybe never will. But that was what was meant to be. So no problem. You accept it. Yeah. We accept it. Let's And then we can succeed in all of our challenges because he's by our side, because he's with us. Because we know. So that's the mission. That's the ambition. That's the goal. That's the goal. It's to be committed. Is to always be happy. Happiness not always happy, skipping, laughing, joyful externally. We go through challenging times, stressful times. So means to feel whole. To latch ourselves on to the one and only who is whole is We're just at the first paragraph of the next page because I want to feel like we at least covered a little bit of material. I'll give you a little teaser for next week. What we'll begin with next week is where does sadness come from? Where does sadness come from? So there's all kinds of sadness. There's the sadness of loss. There's also an emotional sadness. And the emotional sadness here comes from again not clinical that needs help, that needs support, that needs medicine at times or other intervention. We're not talking about clinical sadness. When we talk about this, we're just talking about general universal feelings. So he talks about and it's fascinating because in psychology I have the Very fascinating book about what's going on in our time and our generation. Dopamine, the dopamine generation. Challenges with drugs of people who take uppers and then have to take lowers and they're misusing Ritalin and attention drugs and enormous challenge that none of us really appreciate that's going on right now on college campuses, the world at large, among adults trying to regulate feelings and the fulcrum, the balance between pain and pleasure and what's going on in people's lives. And the more that we need to take these things in order to feel pleasure, the more dulled our sensation to pleasure, which means we have to do more. And that the natural psyche chemically is designed that pain and pleasure have to balance out. So the more pleasure we artificially create for ourselves, the more that the pain vectors kick in to create a pain, which just makes us want to have more pleasure. It's a very sad book of what's going on in the world today. What I thought was very interesting about it is it very much correlates with what the Torah tells us. Not surprisingly. What the Torah knew all along. Not surprisingly. And included is this. Part of pain that people experience emotionally is People feel sad when they feel they don't measure up. People feel sad when they cross a boundary that they claim they care to keep. And that's why a person who acts out and we'll leave that generic and ambiguous intentionally. But whatever compulsion a person is challenged with, maybe it's speaking Bless you. Maybe it's eating unhealthy. Maybe it's speaking Maybe it's gambling. Maybe it's drugs or alcohol. Maybe it's looking at inappropriate images, acting out. Whatever compulsion a person is struggling with, but psychologist research shows after violating that compulsion, that boundary, people feel depressed. They feel sad. There's a sadness that comes from a vera. When we claim to have moral ethical or simple values and boundaries and we don't keep them, we feel sad. We feel depressed. We feel shame. We feel shame. So when we claim to value X, but then we only live Y, we feel broken. We feel inconsistent. And we feel broken and that brings a sense of sadness. So we'll talk about how to address that, overcome that, how to try to navigate that. But meanwhile, a good to everyone. Don't just enter the month of today. Today is the first of today. Don't just enter today. Let enter you. Find in your life and then feel a sense of today. Till next week. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay home.