Living With Emunah (Part 201): Submit and Surrender

good morning welcome back to living with emunah our weekly study of topics of emunah but really to reinforce what we know what we believe what we feel that there's a creator that hashem is involved in our lives invested in our lives that nothing is random and chance that he loves us and we love him i want to thank our generous emunah sponsors for the year dr xavier bella morgan in memory of rabbi dr brian galbet and in memory of bella's mother dr ellen chandser thank you so much for your generosity thank you for your sponsorship this morning's here as well is sponsored by adina limpel in the honor of her wedding huge masters up to adina getting married tonight to a good friend judy gross an amazing guy we're looking forward to welcoming them to boca raton as a married couple and to the building they're beautiful by islaman bistro she dedicates today's shirt to her husband you do feiga partner and living with emunah enter her parents estropinibas pastel bryndel and menachem and ben and continue to be role models of living with emunah what a beautiful way to mark a simcha and a wedding to sponsor ashir and emunah in gratitude and in hope for the home they're going to build so big mazel to adina and to yuri very excited to celebrate together with you also today she is sponsored by our dear friend linda gordon in commemoration of the second year at site of her beloved husband harvey harvey was a wonderful person who lives with amuna linda is a role model of living with faith linda we love you and thank you for your sponsorship this morning and lastly this morning shir is sponsored by henshaw gansberg in honor and with gratitude to hashem for finally making aliyah hensha is amazing and mazel tv everything should go smooth everything should go well should be in good health and safety we're so excited for you we can't wait to visit with you in the land of israel if you'd like to sponsor a future share brsonline.org sponsor brsonline.org sponsor made it easy and convenient for you in one easy place okay back to richard meyer morgenstern we have been studying the topic of bittel we've been studying the topic of what does it mean to be mavatal ourselves to nullify ourselves to absorb ourselves into god not to neglect ourselves to the point of neglect not harm not to allow others to stomp on us but it means to not think that we're the center of the universe the world doesn't revolve around us god is the center of the universe god is the source of the universe and therefore our lives are dedicated and devoted to his service included in his service is taking care of ourselves god wants us to have pleasure to have joy to have meaning to have happiness to have purpose it's not that hashem doesn't want us to feel and to experience all of that but we experience all of that in the context of serving him and living a life of service to him based on what he wants for us so there are four says richard meyer there are four madregos of bittel there are four levels of what it means to nullify ourselves and we began so far with the first two the first was bittel of kabbalah's old the first was the madriga to recognize there's an omnipotent infinite creator of the universe he's all-knowing he's all-powerful and we submit we surrender to him so i have an existence independent of him there's me there's i and then there's him there's god i have an awareness that between the two of us he's in charge that i work for him he doesn't work for me that's the first level of bitter of submission and surrender in the context of kabbalah soul that i accept the yoke of heaven i recognize that i submit to him that i work for him he doesn't work for me that's intellectual it's rational i have a yomiyun i have a day dedicated to study to think about to evaluate the evidence does god exist is there proof is there evidence i read books i evaluate i question and i come to the intellectual cognitive conclusion there is a god and i answer to him but it remains upstairs it remains intellectual the second is bitter bemidos the second category we saw last week is the idea that not only do i recognize and see god intellectually not only am i aware cognitively the first cause argument the idea that when disorder goes to order there's a designer the design argument all the arguments and all the evidence for god's existence not only i know it intellectually it's not only i know it cognitively but rather it's that i experience it i'm in a relationship it is a dynamic loving relationship i'm engaged in i'm part of an actual relationship and a relationship needs nurturing a relationship needs love a relationship needs commitment i read an article this week you can find it on rabbi from org the title of the article is if you don't know where you're going any road will lead you there and that's based on this week's parashat pasak it says look to the place that god is designated seek out his presence uh and get there no coordinates there's no address you can't plug it in the gps it's mysterious the almighty hashem by design leaves mysterious where he can be found why why did he do it that way why didn't he tell us possibly seems to be talking about the bayside mikdash so why didn't he tell us where the temple is why didn't he tell us where the basal mitesh is so we were nowhere to go we take for granted today we all know harabai is the temple mount is the holiest place on earth we know that the base of mikdash is the holiest spot on earth we know that all we have left of it is the kota maravi it's for us right now the closest holiest place on earth but the jewish people traveling through the desert who'd not yet been to harabai's who had not yet built the base of mikdash and god says there's going to be a capital it's going to be a center of holiness but he doesn't give the coordinates he doesn't give the address he leaves it mysterious and the question is why why didn't he so his kuni gives one answer kuni says because before the basha magdash before the permanent place of hashem's intense dwelling there was a temporary one it was called the mishkan and the mishkan moved around the mishkan was movable and therefore the torah couldn't give us coordinates there was no address because for 369 years the mishkan was mobile it moved around but the ramban disagrees and the ramban says that the adverb there is referring to the base not so why didn't god give us the coordinates why didn't he give us the address and says rambam the answer listen carefully the ramban says hashem wants us to seek it out to calibrate our compass towards holiness to go on a journey of inquiry and discovery and to go find it so he doesn't give us a specific location hashem wants us to intuit the location he wants us to extend our holiness antenna he wants us to turn on our holiness radar and to find it to intuit to search to yearn to look for holiness he doesn't hand it to us on a silver platter he doesn't give us the address and coordinates he wants us to go and find it and the ramban says that word shama in fact may not even be talking about a geographical location it's modifying the word no to feel hashem's presence god is our neighbor he's local he's accessible he cares there's a relationship the torah says tijushu if you want to feel hashem in your life seek him look for him reveal him connect with him you have to go find him he doesn't find you you've got to go find him go look for him oh gomeshi was wrong god is not here there and everywhere but the katsuka was right where can hashem be found wherever you let him in we have to let him in we search we go we look i have a lot more you can look at the article i quote more fascinating insightful divreitora of others what it means to intuit what it means to have a holiness compass what it means to go look uv to search to be yearning to go look to search to submit to surrender to be in a relationship to be in a genuine relationship the shabbos we're going to bench rush we're about to bless the new month of elul and we're beginning this heightened high intensity time of the year where we're working hard on that relationship with god but the acronym elo stands for many things is stands for many things but one of them elo stands for famously anila dodi vidodili i am to my beloved my beloved is to me elo ella's a reminder we're in a relationship it's not just a list of to do's and don't do's it's not just dry law it is not a burden but rather it's a relationship it is an enriching beautiful relationship and relationships require nurturing they require time they require communication relationships require us to be curious and to learn about one another what dr john gottman the great relationship expert and guru says is drawing love maps curiosity asking questions being on a journey of discovery looking just like a healthy marriage and just like any healthy relationship requires drawing love maps being inquisitive and engaging in discovery and looking to learn about the other that's what creates the romance the electricity the love so too in our relationship with hashem you have to ask the questions you have to look you have to go so i end the article by telling the story i want to see the square reba several years ago i enjoy meeting with the skv rebbe for his insight his advice is barakas and he asked me a series of questions about the community and he said at the end he said rabbi goldberg one more question and i was curious what would it be what was his last question the castro standards the era of how many shirin we have the mikvah how many schools we have he had one more question he said are there mavaksam in boca raton mavakesh are there searchers are there seekers are there those looking to grow are there people on a journey to find hashem in our community proudly i was able to tell them yes partly because of the attendees of our amazing share together living with emunah but there are mavaksam and that's the question for ourselves are we a mavakish are we searching so that was the second type of bitter victor meyer spoke about not just an intellectual cognitive bittle not just evidence for god's existence i accept all the arguments i accept all the evidence i've come to the conclusion intellectually there is a god but it means to be emotionally invested in a relationship to feel his presence to turn to him to love him to rely on him to lean on him to feel his love to feel his support to have to meet his expectations to want to give him to be in a relationship that includes ava and jira and vegas love and awe and a desire to cling to him i got a great email this week and as always i invite you to share your stories with me how emunah has helped guide your life and given you strength so someone i know this is not one of my children this is not a member of my family but somebody i know wrote to me she's in school she's away from her family and she said last year was a very anxious year she struggled with anxiety there was a lot going on obviously corona and others other significant variables and it was a tough year she struggled with anxiety and once during the middle of the year she had a terrible stomach virus and she was up in the middle of the night she was in pain she was uncomfortable she was anxious and all she wanted more than anything else was her mother she longed for her mother who doesn't want to snuggle with their mother who doesn't want to crawl into their mother's bed who doesn't want the love the support the comfort the pampering the nursing back to health from their own mother all she wanted was her mother but her mother was far away so she felt all alone and her anxiety was heightened she said to me but i've been listening to the living within a shear i've been working on attaching myself connecting feeling god's presence and all of a sudden it occurred to me in the middle of the night just when i was crying just when i was calling out and i wanted my mother i remembered that i had my father i remember that that my father was right there that i wasn't in fact alone and i wasn't in fact on my own but that hashem that god was right there with me that even when physically we're far from our biological parents our third senior parent our father in heaven is always with us wherever we are and whatever we're going through and as soon as she realized that and she embraced that she leaned into that her anxiety calmed down she felt comfortable she felt confident she was no longer afraid our father is with us wherever and whenever not just intellectually and cognitively but emotionally in our heart and in our soul we take him everywhere it's interesting today is daf and the daffy omni gemara sukhada today's dave talks about what is the definition of a katana who is the miner who is the miner who's not yet the age of education of who's exempt from sukkah and who is the qatar is obligated in sukkah so the gemma first suggests maybe the one who wakes up in the middle of the night and calls their mother is a minor and if you wake up and don't call your mother then you are mature you're an adult but then the gemara says but what do you mean even a gundle even an adult wakes up in the middle of the night and calls out to their mother and the gemara concludes the child calls out mother mother twice and the adult may instinctively call out mother but then they gather themselves and they're able to move on from there so it's amazing the story the person shared with me the timing nothing is coincidental exactly when the gemara confirms for us that we know even adults instinctively call out to their mother but we can collectively all call out to our father whether we have biological parents or we've lost our biological parents god forbid whether we're in proximity to our biological parent or far away from our biological parent we all have a venus we all have our father in heaven whom we can call out to whenever whenever we need him so we continue now with the third level the third level is bitel hayes this is a high level this is the level we strive for it's an ambitious level it means not only do i exist and he exists and i realize i work for him that's level number one level number two is i exist and he exists and i want a relationship i love him i'm in awe of him i want to cling to him i want to stick with him level number three is that he exists and in his presence it's as if i don't exist at all kamatama liad rabbo like a student in the presence of their master of their teacher yellow cotton like a little child is in the presence of the greatest of the generation in that moment doesn't matter who you are how accomplished you are when you are in the presence of greatness you're not hungry you're not tired you don't have to go to the bathroom you don't exist all you feel is the presence all you feel all that takes up space is the significance the greatness the presence of the other so the third level of bitter is to realize that the omnipotent infinite almighty ribonucleon abstra the great bonus the great king of kings is so great he takes up all the space i don't even exist in that moment there is no eye there is no me there is no more i want but rather i blend into him madre gazoo nickeray's bitter my sense of yeshus my sense of yesh my sense of my sense of i my sense of existence is nullified i submit and i surrender i'm in his presence i'm the presence of greatness i'm not the center of the universe there's no my need there's no my want there's no my anger there's no my envy there's no my anxieties no my arrogance there's no me there's just him and i blend into him which is not to forfeit myself we saw several weeks ago in a footnote that doesn't mean that i am denying myself it means i am realizing the greatest part of myself because who am i really if not an extension of god so as an extension of god i am realizing and recognizing the greatest part of who i am by blending into him madriga zoo we realize that god is primary god is central god is everything and i am secondary i am ancillary even though i exist i'm alive i feel my pulse i feel my heartbeat i feel myself breathing the oxygen in my lungs i know that i exist i know he created me i know i'm here me come on who made vince lamont i may exist but i'm secondary i am nothing hashem is everything i am secondary to him is bonane umar how is this how does one accomplish this by contemplating and by feeling that hashem nourishes and he wills everything into existence he is mahadish behold that if hashem would cease willing us to exist we would cease to exist we only exist because he wills our existence so yes i exist there's him there's me i exist but i only exist because he wills it um and to be contemplative and thoughtful how i feel at every moment how fortunate how blessed how lucky i am to be here how people didn't wake up this morning how people can confront illness accidents catastrophes crises collapses of buildings how we could disappear in a moment so my existence which i'm aware of and grateful for i'm aware of i'm not denying my existence but i know it comes meshed um hashem flows his blessing flows he wills and that's the only reason i'm here um and therefore on this third level a person knows and feels shashami's barachu hashem is the center of the circle of my life he is the center of the universe villus atmo and me my life humaysh cadaver tafel secondary i'm here to serve him what does he want from me today what does he expect of me today what mission does he have for me today i am his i am his agent how am i meant to change the world how am i meant to change my world for some people their mission is to get through the day some people confront physical spiritual emotional mental challenges and their mission is to get through the day to be a good husband father to be a good wife mother just to be a good human being that's their mission others have a mission to be of service to others others have a mission to cure cancer bring world peace others have a mission to sit and learn torah to be a model of what it means to diamond with kavanagh others have a mission to transform the world with their loving kindness but it means i know i exist but i exist not waking up saying what are my rights what are my entitlements what do i get out of this world but instead asking what are my duties what are my obligations what am i meant to give to this world what am i responsible it's a whole different mentality it's an entirely different perspective or attitude towards this world and towards life not what can i take but what can i give not what am i meant to what are my entitlements but what are my obligations it's not about me it's not about my want i'm on a mission for him now hashem says within your mission rejuvenate within your mission recreate recreation within your within your mission be entertained relax enjoy that's part of our life and our lifestyle the torah and hashem endorse it but ultimately we do those things not as it ends to themselves we eat we sleep we enjoy we're entertained in order to position us to have the strength we need to continue in our mission to make a difference in this world um so yes i exist and yes i'm aware of my existence but i maintain a constant and consistent awareness that my very existence is only because of his graciousness because of his goodness because of his generosity and as quickly as it comes is as quickly as it could disappear as quickly as it could disappear unfortunately we know too well we know too well okay that is the third level and now we move over to the fourth and final level the fourth and final level of what it means bittel bemidsius the fourth and final level of what does it mean to nullify ourselves the first was intellectually cognitively bitter because i realize that there is a god i don't exist on my own i didn't come into being by chance there is a god and i serve him i worship him i work for him he doesn't work for me level number two was not only do i know that there is a god intellectually i know there is a god emotionally and i'm invested in an emotional relationship i'm a mavakish i'm drawing love maps i'm searching and i'm yearning and i'm looking and i'm curious and i'm investing and i'm nurturing and i'm nourishing and i want to love and i want to be filled with awe and i want to cling to god emotionally level three is bitter not only do i know intellectually there's a god and not only am i in an emotional relationship with god but i realize that the world is about him not me that my life is being of service to him that he dictates what my mission what my charge is in this world and the fourth level is bitter bemidjis the fourth and final level is madrigal this is the completion this is the highest level this is the ultimate aspiration not that i exist but i'm in an intellectual and an emotional relationship with him not only i exist but his existence is primary my secondary i don't even exist in his presence i'm nothing i'm simply an extension of him i'm a manifestation of him i'm an expression um so we talk about the ultimate the highest level of bitter what does it mean to submit what does it mean to surrender what does it mean to go through life and to realize that yes i want to enjoy and i want to have fun and i want to accumulate things i want to have experiences and i want to be enriched by my relationships but ultimately i'm doing all of that in a context i'm doing all of that in the context of there is a god i have a relationship he has expectations of me that is bitter that's bitter madre gazoo adam zohala there is such an intense awareness such an acute awareness that god exists he is the source of all the entire universe is an expression is a unity of his existence this is such a vibrant dynamic living idea with me everything is simply his light including me and my life is all just his light in this world it's like a prism one ray of sunshine goes into the prism and it refracts into several colors into many rays of light that come out so the rays of light picture the other rays of light the colors coming out the other side of the prism they think that they're independent diverse colors but really they are all just an extension they're all expressions they're all manifestations they're reflections of the one ray of light that came into the prison so we too we look like we are diverse manifestations of god in this world we look like we are each our own personality each our own life each our own lifestyle however we are just an extension of that original ray of light that comes in um so when we realize that we say i'm not an independent color of light coming out the prism even though when i look to my right my left it looks like there are other independent separate distinct colors coming out i realize all of us are really united in that we are an extension of the one ray of light coming in everything is his light so god's wills the world us and everything in it and we don't have an existence that's independent separate or apart we are part of a ecosystem of the world so to say all his light um so if that's the case i don't feel my sense of independence my identity i blend in i am absorbed within the light of hashem so these are the four madregos these are the four levels of bitl and these are the four levels of feeling hashem in our life and every person each person each person at every level has to try to climb them according to who we are and according to our lives and according to our peckle our baggage our lifestyle our struggles our challenges our opportunities our assets each of us is positioned differently each of us is positioned uniquely and therefore each of us have an invitation and opportunity to connect to god in our own way he says in the footnote reviews and each of these levels have levels on top of levels so let's start at level number one and here here's your homework my friends level one intellectually intellectually have we explored are we in the vakish have we spent the time to look for and to find god have we looked around the universe and realized it's not filled with random chance and coincidence but the world is filled with opportunities to make a kinion the world is filled with opportunities to acquire god to acquire god in the weather in the nature in the experiences in the people in the goodness in the blessings that we have studying biology chemistry physics studying metaphysics studying of course primarily hashem's torah his written diary the entire world is an invitation to find and to acquire god in our life intellectually so let's work on the first level first level is bittel kabbalah soul first level is intellectually to know he's there stop living this lie stop thinking the world is about you your happiness your want your need the world revolves around you it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't life is very short and tragically people leave this world so soon so unexpectedly and the longer we continue to live that illusion the longer we hold on to that farce that the world is about us our happiness our needs our wants the less our life is the longer the shorter we're actually alive even if we are among the living but the sooner that we submit and surrender the sooner we recognize that he is here and the sooner we start to think in that way explore be curious inquisitive draw those love mats love maps discover discover what your mission is what's your shlikhas why are you here why are you here who was it mark twain said the most important two days in a person's life are the day that you were born and the day that you figured out why why were you born why is this world better with you in it why does this world need you in it because if you woke up this morning if we woke up this morning hashem has determined god has declared that the world needs us we have something to contribute we have something to give we have something to do god left us in this world it's because there's work that's yet undone so what is it what is it what difference am i meant to make could be a difference to my family it doesn't have to be something on a large scale it could be a difference to my family could be a difference to my community could be a difference to my coworkers and the difference i could make is just living my life to its fullest trying to make it through the day being healthy when there are a lot of things that are opposing forces to that health but we're not here for ourselves so that first level that very first level is to realize i woke up this morning i have oxygen i have air in my lungs i have a heartbeat in my chest i woke up this morning bittel to submit the cabal soul god doesn't serve me i don't wake up and say god it's not fair why do i this why am i missing that and how come i don't have what they have and how come this and how come that i wake up and i say look at all that i have and what do i do with it what difference am i meant to make with it what's my mission who do i need to call or check in on how do i need to volunteer where do i need to show up what learning do i need to do what volunteering do i need to do what work do i need to do what improvement or repair to the world do i need to give to my driver the first level and this is our homework i'm giving you homework you got to submit that homework by next wednesday morning 8 45 a.m your homework our homework i'm on this journey together with you my friends our homework is level number one madriga number one my dragon number one is bitto the cabela's old not just lip service you could daven three times a day learn the daffy me volunteer for tom keshabas write lots of stucco checks but you still haven't accepted there's a god in the world you still haven't accepted that there's a god in the world yeah maybe somewhere deep inside yourself but you're going through external motions it's a checklist because this is what we were taught this is how we were raised this is what we want to want to believe but take that leap make it believe submit surrender recognize take some time to think to evaluate to explore about the evidence of hashem's existence about his presence in your life find him hide and seek go on a search find hashem he's all around us you won't have to look very far he's all around us so that is the first level the qabala the bittle of intellectually taking that leap that once we realize he's here the omnipotent infinite god then of course we serve him he doesn't serve us then of course he is in charge he says jump and we say how high so that is the very first level and when we do the irony is normally when you submit and surrender you've given something up here submitting and surrendering you don't give anything up you only gain you gain a relationship with the infinite you gain immortality you gain eternity you gain happiness serenity tranquility you gain satisfaction you gain purpose so letting go letting god submitting and surrendering is not about giving up submitting and surrendering to god is not only about not giving anything up it's about gaining something gaining what is the greatest thing that could be a relationship with the almighty himself thank you so much until next time don't forget first of all you can sponsor a future class brsonline.org sponsor brsonline.org sponsor one convenient place you can choose a date in the future is there a yurt site someone's birthday someone getting married you can choose a date you could put in the language you can make the payment all in one convenient easy place and if you'd like to continue to learn together it is an honor and a privilege to be able to learn torah together if you'd like to continue subscribe on youtube you'll be informed in real time every time we go live you can find classes and articles that are by from goldberg.org or you can download the app and learn with us on a regular basis thank you for the honor until next time stay happy stay healthy