Living With Emunah (Part 199): Don't Cry Over Spilled Seltzer

good morning and welcome back to living with emunah after our summer break it is great to be back together working on our awareness and mindfulness that we did not come into existence by accident or randomness but the almighty has created the world he is intimately involved in our lives and the more we remember him attach ourselves to him the more invested we are in him the better and the more alive we will be i want to thank our generous amunisiri sponsors uh our dear friends dr xavier and bella morgan a member of rabbi dr brian galbet whose second year at site just occurred in memory of bella's mother dr ellen shanzer thank you so much for your generosity thank you so much for your sponsorship this morning's particular class is sponsored by the diamond ginsburg newman and berman families to mark today the completion of the shlosham of our dear friend their beloved husband father son brother and brother-in-law and uncle khaim diamond allah was a dear friend of mine who left this world way too young 30 days ago a big heart a generous spirit he had a very very authentic relationship with hashem was a real role model to me and so many others and how authentic and real that relationship was he cared passionately about jewish education and taking care and protecting children and uh we think about him on the sloshim his memory continues to inspire us and we hope and pray that his family finds comfort for through the tremendous tremendous person that he was um thank you for coming back for our living with emunah we have been studying morgenstern when we last left off we are going through the chapter on bitl how to submit and surrender how to not leave lead lives driven by ego ego stands for edging god out but rather lead lives of humility of submission of surrender to recognize that as hard as we try and with all the initiative that we take ultimately in the end of the day it is entirely up to him we work for him he doesn't work for us he is in charge and we do all that we can and everything in our power but at the end of the day bittel we submit we surrender we are the vatel to him as we've studied many times in the past when we were working on the safer before the summer break the idea of bitter of submission of surrender is not to a god outside ourselves but god inside ourselves we're not giving up our sense of self we're actualizing our most genuine sense of self the best part of who we are is our telling elohim the best part of who we are is our godly soul our godly and most noble spirit so when we submit to our godly soul submit to an ambition for a godly life when we submit and surrender that god is in charge and we accept we're never angry because this is the way it's meant to be we're never envious because he provides what we need we're never anxious because as long as we've done all we can then by definition things will work out the way he wants it to be therefore a life of ammuna a life of submitting of bittle of surrendering to him is not forfeiting ourselves but is in fact actualizing and fulfilling the very best version of ourselves because that selam elokim that godliness is inside of us so i want to tell you on this week's parasha very beautiful insight connected to amuna in bittel you could use the dish of but really relevant all the time because we said nalenu you are familiar with this i want to tell you a vort advaitora before we start know today and put it in your heart that god is our god the almighty the omnipotent the all-powerful the one who was is and will be elokim he is our god basham i am in the heavens and on the earth below a node there is no one else but him that is all that is all so ivan karliner tells us to read it the helicopter carliner levaran of carlin the author of ko airsoft he says read it the following we have to know no no with full confidence that there's a god it's not conjecture it's not doubt it's not possibly but no extend your antenna pick up the signal think about how all of creation that is sophisticated by design as a creator feel his presence i spent part of the summer in the west out west in wyoming grand teton national park yellowstone god is everywhere he's undeniable in the magnificent wildlife in the scenery in the ecological cycle he's everywhere there you don't have to extend your antenna far to pick up in circa there is no rock like god in some artist like god he's everywhere but the truth is no matter where you are if you extend that antenna and you feel his presence and you realize that what's going on in your life are not mere coincidence happenstance chance it is all by design and it's all from above yeah data study contemplate think about and know and where does this knowledge have to be placed knowledge normally is associated with the head knowledge thoughtfulness comes in the brain the head but this is a different kind of knowledge and the passage says we sing in allenum our parasite says where's this knowledge the hashemosa place it where el eva because the farthest distance between any two points in the world is the distance between our head and our heart there are so many things that we know upstairs don't eat that and don't sit all day and don't get too little sleep don't say that don't look at that and yet it doesn't filter down from the head to get to the heart it's the farthest distance and that's why the torah tells us and we remind ourselves daily in elenu know that there's a god and where does that knowledge have to exist where does that knowledge have to be placed put it in your heart and what's the knowledge who i look him there's a god he was he is he will be it takes more faith to be an atheist than to be a believer that he knows lust and loves us he's watching us and he is choreographing our lives he is basham he is above us and he is on the earth below anode there is no one but him there is no one but him but says ravana kalina read the passage differently that if in fact you are successful in knowing that there is a god and putting it in your heart then ain od you will not need anything more a node you lack nothing that's how you read the passage that's how you sing the davening ain't o doesn't mean that there's no other god a note is not as in anode milvado as although that's also true that there is no one and nothing other than god he is everything but that's not what a node means says ivan carliner ain't means there is nothing you don't need anything else you don't lack you don't crave you don't need if you put god in your heart then work hard work hard be driven professionally in your career work hard be driven in your physical health well-being work hard be driven in your relationships whatever goal you set for yourself work hard but a node we lack for nothing there is nothing more there's nothing else there's nothing else other than knowing and putting in your heart there's a god and he loves us and the joy the gratitude of giving him we just spoke about in our messiahs yeshua so i want to begin before we dive back into the that to tell you a couple stories from the summer i'd love to share the amount of stories because nothing is as powerful as living it and i want to share the image stories one where it worked out and one where it didn't but both of them are emunah because we don't only live with emunah you know i've spoken about a million times my family what's app group after several summers ago learning something with my daughter and the hour of motion of biaaco said you need to keep this diary so we created a whatsapp group internally our own nuclear family where we record and my children do it's a beautiful thing whenever something works out that we say thank you hashem divine providence it worked out so my wife thought i was crazy the other day because after this story happened to us i went and recorded this on that group for my children and it wasn't the typical traditional classic hashtag story where this almost happened and then thank god it all worked out thank you hashem there was that too where on our long flight out to the west we uh my wife and i were in a row three seats all three people were in it the third person their tv didn't work they asked to be switched they did we ended up having an empty seat for the two of us thank you hashem what a wonderful turn of events not enormous but every little thing to acknowledge god even in the little things thank you i should have nothing's coincidental nothing's chance it's all from above on a different flight on the flight back i had a seltzer can sitting on the tray of the airplane and my briefcase was open beneath it thank god my laptop was on the tray on a different tray and in some movement that occurred let's just say in shuffling in and out of those seats at times of the flight i don't know who i i'll take responsibility knocked over the seltzer can turned entirely upside down and spilled the entire full can in the bottom of my briefcase there was a puddle the entire can of seltzer in my briefcase that had technology some papers and was a briefcase that i valued and now it was filled with seltzer and my first instinct was to lose my cool to get bent out of shape my first instinct was to get angry and rage how'd this happen and why did that person have to move right now and why was i asked to shift and why was it sitting on the on the uh on the tray and nobody had had it to drink and then i caught myself i said whoa goldberg wednesday mornings living in the moon you talk teach you preach you learn you study you encourage others take a deep breath relax and realize for whatever reason hashem wanted that seltzer can on the bottom of my briefcase and my wife and i had to turn the briefcase over and it literally poured out into a cup drain it tried to soak try to squeeze it and try to dry it and barakasha everything was fine it was no big deal and you know what if i would have been angry it would have ruined the flight ruined the vacation would have created conflict would have lost my calm and cool and instead living with the moon everything's from hashem and when we landed i recorded on my for my kids on that what's that group listen to this thing the can was there it's i love you hashem thank you hashem so what are you doing that wasn't a good story it didn't work out i said it always works out we don't only record the stories where it worked out in our favor the whole notion the whole idea is it's always working out in our favor that's what bittel is nullifying relinquishing surrendering submitting is the recognition that god i'm not in charge you are and that whatever happened something i wasn't in control of it was by design it wasn't by accident it wasn't random there was a reason it happened there's something i was meant to experience gain learn it happened for a reason whether i appreciate it whether i like it or whether it was uncomfortable i actually was incredibly grateful it wasn't a diet coke it wasn't some soda that would have stained and become sticky and would have been smelling it was seltzer it was seltzer it was fine my briefcase took a car wash it was a beautiful and wonderful thing second story second story we went for a hike my wife and i one of the days that we were out there a wonderful magnificent hike if you've never been to phelps lake in the grand teton national park you must go among the other magnificent things there are to see anyway it is up in the national park we took an uber to be able to get there and we got up the dirt road and into the park and at the rockefeller preserve in order to be able to begin this hike we spent many many hours on this magnificent hike to the lake around the lake sitting at the lake a little hezbollah this we've talked a lot about that many times just sit we don't have to talk to each other we're talking to god just experiencing just experiencing no noise because we want to hear god's playlist want to hear the ripple of the lake i want to hear the the leaves when you hear the birds chirping i want to hear the natural sounds all around god has that amazing playlist and most of the time we don't hear it because we're creating artificial noise so we had an amazing time we came back after many many many hours and went on my phone to order an uber problem deep into the national park there were no uber drivers local there were no ubers coming to get us uber was unresponsive called the taxi we knew in jackson wyoming taxi wasn't answering no taxes available we are stranded in the park happened to be a lot of signs about bears and being careful about bears i wasn't sure exactly what to do saw a couple coming out of the car parked and heading to their car and asked them do you happen to know a taxi do we know someone we could call and they said we're happy to drive you out of the park now these were very normal wonderful looking people safe looking people was not very concerned they were there on vacation as well from texas you could see that by all their gear and swag was texas university of texas turns out actually he's a professor university of texas anyway he get in the car he's driving us out we said just drive us to civilization we'll get an uber from there you're so kind so gracious thank you so much nothing more necessary said well we're going to jackson if you want to ride to jackson we said we're going to jackson thank you so much we really appreciate it that's so helpful they said where are you staying we told them the hotel we were staying at they said we're at the same hotel so not only were people in the right place at the right time not only were they kind and generous and gracious and willing to take us they were in the exact same hotel as us thank you hashem they took us back it was amazing and we had a great conversation about anti-semitism on the campus of university of texas wonderful wonderful non-jewish people and it was great to have met them and in the off chance that they're listening they're not thank you very much back to bayam bittel please continue to share with me you're living with the moon stories i love to read them and i'd love to share them because it takes all that we're learning in principle and turns it into practice avodah's habitual if you're following inside by um morgenstern chapter on bitter we're on page noon base avodah's a bitter the work the effort the service the exercise of submitting and surrendering to get to a place and a feeling of the actus the unity and the singularity of god tahinullah to live with a clarity there is no one there is nothing but him now by the way we could just be grateful to that couple they gave us the ride right place right time generous thank you for taking us thank you for not kidnapping and killing us feeding us to the bears thank you for taking us all the way back to the hotel but then we would ignore the fact that who put them there in that moment at that time who made us come out of the park exactly when we came out who made them come out who made us at the same hotel it was all from above ain't owed milwaukee bihiros to recognize with clarity with true clarity shane ode milvado claus there's no one there's nothing but him we're living in a matrix he is programming designing he's organizing orchestrating all of it ancient we are an illusion we are a figment of god's imagination we have initiative he designed a world in which we think and we feel like on that matrix that we're making choices and that we take initiative but he is behind the scenes designing it all in all that exists exist as an extension of his light we only exist because he allows us to because he imagines us we exist because he wills our existence like an axe in the hand of the of the chopper god is controlling the whole world we are an extension of him so we're stuck in traffic or the plane the flight worked out or the seltzer can tipped over the person gave us the ride whatever is going on in our lives it is from him and this is not asking a lot of us as we can shared countless countless countless times and all of this in this whole class as you see from my seltzer story i still need this is all about realizing that living with the moon is not a great gift to god it's not a sacrifice we make for god it improves drastically and dramatically our quality of life it can measurably change our physical health spiritual health emotional health when we can temper our anger our anxiety our envy because we realize it's all him don't don't lose your cool don't get angry don't sabotage relationships don't sabotage vacations don't sabotage happiness realize it's all from above but sasha zai's to live with such a clarity to live with such a knowledge to live with such a mindfulness that we're not confused or conflicted we don't even have an awareness of our own existence we spoke about before this summer and victor meyer pointed out in a footnote that we know we relate to this we've been in the presence of greatness of great people of brilliant people of accomplished people that while we were nervous and sittering while we were in their presence we forgot we exist in that moment we weren't hungry we weren't tired we'd have to go to the bathroom we didn't remember our own name there was no me there was no i in that moment in that presence in that greatness there just is that greatness i blend and i'm absorbed into it i have no eye awareness no ego awareness i'm just in the presence of a great person a great thing of a great natural scene of a great natural event and there is no sense of i we're we're totally oblivious to it so just like we experienced that when it comes to other forms of greatness we can live with that awareness always with that clarity that there is hashem there is god and therefore bittle i submit i am absorbed i surrender into him there is no me independent of him there is only him that is all that exists it's a very high level it's a lofty level it's a difficult level it's an ambitious effort but it's possible it's doable there are those people we know them they are righteous sadiq and said kaneos men and women who live such lives so that when the seltzer can't spills they don't even not for a moment not for a moment i told the story the last class before the before we took our summer break that i was in uh a bagel shop and a waitress was bumped into and spilled hot coffee on the arm of a dear friend of mine and he didn't yell he didn't scream he didn't embarrass her all he raised his arm as the steam was coming off of it and he said and he said gamsula tova gamezlotova so we are capable what i admire that friend that that awareness the presence of mind that ability to regulate himself he didn't scream out she didn't embarrass her he didn't yell at her he said come to lotova so we can live with that clarity be heroes such a clarity such a mindfulness such an awareness that all that we experience and integrate from the spilled can of seltzer to getting the ride to whatever else works out or doesn't work out that ain't no water there is no one and nothing but him it is all from him it is all from above there's no me there's no my ego my honor what i want my the way i wanted it to work out and a person who lives with this lives with an enormous pleasure yoser mig this person is tapping into the greatest pleasure as we've been saying let's picture for a moment life without this if there's no god there's no meaning there's no purpose there's no order to the universe everything's random and everything's chance everything is on you and you are responsible for every consequence what kind of a life is that bitterness anger resentment jealousy arrogance what kind of a life is that tension and uneasiness what kind of a life can let it all go let it all go smile become it'll work out we'll get there or we won't it's all the way it's meant to be to live the truth we're tapping into the truth everything's from hashem and all of our effort all of our work all of our relationships a truthful and a genuine heart a genuine and a deep desire to cling and to connect to hashem that's our mission that's our mandate that's what we're trying to do that's the life we're trying to live that's bitter that's bitter vegas is clinging to god i exist in the eyes attaching to him bittel is i'm so aware of his presence he is so larger than life he is so great there is no room for me the me is just totally nullified and surrendered it's bitter in the presence of the hymn he writes in the footnote of which amir bizoha shikomak al-habouri and one will merit that all of our thoughts will be only on god the creator tony iraq legalized when we live this way by the way and we see him everywhere you know many times i've told the story about getting the ride in the grand teton national park phelps lake because when one feels god has involved invested in their life when one has a story to tell about can you believe the way god made it work out can you believe what god did for me can you believe it so when when that happens when that happens then you want to tell the story to everybody because you're so excited it's all you could think about god is involved in my life he's invested in my life he's making things work out in my life i met with a couple today i'm doing a wedding soon please god it's not the first wedding for either of them and i asked them how they met and they said um they said it was good fortune their job was moved from some place to down here i said that wasn't your job that was god moved your job so you could meet the other person they actually had a dating app where they had set the parameters based on a mileage where they lived and then when the job changed they moved down here the app automatically updated the mileage distance circumference that would determine possible matches and because it updated they found each other so god's your shahn godzilla there's so many components to that story that had they not worked out you wouldn't have met moving the job the reason you have to be in a certain city the app forgetting to change the setting so the gps would determine the coordinates in terms of the possible matches based on the mileage there are a lot of moving factors in that story it's all god it's all god and when you feel that and when you recognize that and when you're aware of that you can't stop thinking about it and you just want to tell others about it and in all of our dharvani and all of our service to hashem our avodah we feel i'm a chariot i'm a chariot i'm a vehicle for hashem hashem exists and we have a great relationship and i just want to tell the world i want to be the conduit i want to be the catalyst i want to be the vehicle through the instrument through which the world connects to him that's all you see that's all you live that's all you feel. and a person like that merits to feel the divine presence god can only dwell if he's not competing with another when the other appreciates him if god is competing he's not going to compete he goes home he doesn't need to compete he's so great he doesn't need to compete god doesn't compete god doesn't compete so the more that we nullify submits surrender the more we recognize when i'm in the presence of that greatness i don't even need to exist the more of his presence will feel and the more that we feel i need to advance myself i need to remind the world who i am i need to nourish and feed my sense of self then god says it sounds like you got it covered you're good to go i'll just take a step back i'll let you have your space ki kevan shumaki because we can become the chariot we become the klee we become the vessel through which god expresses himself in this world with nothing that is a barrier nothing blocking nothing filtering the light of hashem hashem is that divine light in this world and we are meant to be the prism through which he expresses that light through which he expresses that light so that is our our mission if we're acting as a proper prism and we are filtering and spreading that light everywhere he will pour more light in the more light he pours in the more we will filter and spread it out so if we want to be zoha if we want to merit to feel his light if we want to be enlightened we want to feel his presence and we want to see his light then promise and pledge to be that prison that filter to share that light to spread it with the whole world so a person will never think oh i am the source of the light i am just reflecting the light i am the prism of the light i'm not the source of the light i am just meriting i am just privileged to be able to share and spread the light visually this is the reality of the world it's an illusion that we think anything exists or that we exist we are all extensions of him we are meant to absorb and acknowledge the truth of his existence to be that merkava to be that clear to be that vessel to be that instrument to be that vehicle and to share it and spread it and teach it to the world leos lo dira batartonem that we are meant to be his ambassadors his agents his spokespeople we are meant to be as publicists here in this world and it's not because he has an ego god forbid but the more people who merit to receive it and get it the more that they'll benefit too so what comes out is that when we're in avatar ourselves when we practice bitter when we submit and surrender and nullify when we have no ego and id when we realize it's all god anode melvado we'll merit more of god we'll see and feel his presence great we'll have the relief the tranquility we'll be able to have the serenity we'll be able to have the peace of mind we'll be able to have the gift of his providence if we pledge and promise that we are faithfully going to serve him and be that vehicle to share and spread his message outwards so thank you for joining us again with living with amuna it's great to be back together all of ashioram are back uh following yamantova we'll be back in person a hybrid model we will both be learning in person as well as streaming professionally very excited to be able to offer that following the yamamutova until then we remain here on this youtube channel please subscribe please consider sponsoring a future episode of living with amuna it's very easy to go to brsonline.org donate brsonline.org donate and in one place you can choose the date put in the language and make the payment to sponsor a future class thank you for considering it join us tuesdays for partial perspectives wednesday mornings for 10 minutes of meeting with usharam followed by living with amuna friday afternoons to return friday into arav shabbas you can find it all in podcasts on youtube rabbi from goldberg.org youtube.org more until next time stay happy stay