Living With Emunah (Part 198): Quieting the Noise

good morning boca tov and welcome back to living with amuna our weekly effort to remind ourselves what we already know and that is there is a creator there's a god he loves us he's intimately evolved in our lives and when we attach ourselves to him we have nothing to worry about at all this is our final sheer for the season we're taking a break until the wednesday following tish above so please make a note we will not be meeting it's a good chance if you haven't listened to all the previous ones two catch up i think we're closing in on two hundred living with the munashiram so you can always listen to previous episodes at rabbiafrangolberg.org or on yutoro or youtube i want to thank our generous sponsors for the series for the year dr xavi and bella morgan really from the bottom of my heart thank you for your generosity for sponsoring the series the entire year in memory of rabbi dr brian galbet who was an incredible example of living and dying with emunah and in memory of bella's mother dr ellen shanzer who lived a life of service of great khaseet to the community thank you for your generosity and thank you for your friendship this morning shir is also sponsored by rhonda shival in honor of her new granddaughter razel emunah bienenfeld thank you so much what a beautiful baby and a beautiful name you should have a lot of nachas also sponsored not on the birthday of mehndi fishman by his children mendy is an amazing friend mehndi gives me swarm inspires me to share his ideas he's a benelli i'm a vacation should be your best year yet have a lot of nakas from your family a lot of only the best be benched with gazunt until 120 and beyond okay back in b we are back in victor meyer morgenstern's wonderful work which is a really practical ravichai meyer has chased kabbalistic ideas that are very very out there and a person has to be steeped in the language the vocabulary of kabbalah to understand but at least the way i've been able to understand it is really simplified he's taking those very deep very mystical very sophisticated very profound ideas and communicating in a way which is accessible for the masses we've been learning about bittel we've been learning about the notion that we cannot attach ourselves to the infinite as long as we think that we are a something as long as we have an ego as long as we live with arrogance as long as we think that i matter as long as we think that we actually take up space then we cannot truly attach ourselves to the divine to the infinite then we are competing so to say with him we're competing my needs his needs my interests his interests my agenda his agenda the world according to me or the world according to him the moment i let go and let god when i forfeit when i finally put myself under the care of god of the higher power that's when i can feel his presence and attach bitter and i want to be very very clear revicio meyer was very clear the notion of bitter self-nullification of letting go of stopping to think that we are actually something is not about a lack of self-confidence inferiority insecurity having no sense of self having no self-worth it's the opposite of the coin of lublin writes that the same way that we have to believe in god we have to believe in ourselves he says there are two beliefs there are two ministers of amuna there's a faith in god and we have to have faith in ourselves isn't that arrogant isn't that counter to bitter the answer is no because rosadica cohen explains the faith we have in ourselves is not because i'm an independent entity the faith is and not me who i am my skills my personality my talent talents my capability my capacity the faith in myself is that there's a godliness in me that god expresses himself through me and in me that hashem breathed life into me and i ever tell him eloquem so there's the worst side of me there's the animal instinct the animal impulse there's that which i need to fight and struggle within me but there's also the best version of myself and the best version of me the best part of me that voice of discipline self-control that voice that strives for holiness to go higher and higher that's god expressing himself through me the talents the skills the gifts the personality they're on loan they're not part of my permanent connect collection it's not who i am i didn't earn it to achieve it it's part of my dna the biology it's part of the way i was created and constructed we still have to work hard to realize those potential talents we have to take the initiative in order to express those gifts within this world but their very presence is nothing we can take credit for it's the tsalamel kim so cesar got to believe in god vegas you got to wake up you got to know there's a higher power there's a creator that there's a a master of the universe that we don't exist independently he controls the world he's in charge a person has to know that but we also have to know that he isn't just in the heavens he's not just far away lobasha kikarov it's right close to you and there's nothing closer than in your own heart there's nothing close than in your own belly in your own kishkas in your own skin hashem finds himself inside each and every one of us we have to believe in god but if we are alive then selam elohim then god is expressing himself through us we are each we are each a portion a piece of god literally and therefore we have to believe in god and we have to believe in ourselves so it doesn't matter if you've retired it doesn't matter if you've moved on to a new stage in life it doesn't matter if you're incapacitated in some way god forbid a person is debilitated struggling with illness convalescing recovering it doesn't matter if a person has certain physical mental emotional spiritual limitations whoever we are and whatever we have we are alive there's air in our lungs if god renewed our contract for another day then he is expressing himself through us our unique personality how we can persevere what we can overcome what we have yet left to dedicate ourselves to how we will write the next chapter of our life god is that author god is our partner he's by our side we have to believe in god we have to believe that selam elohim inside each and every one of us so therefore what it means bittle what we're talking about says richard meyer here we'll get back to the text in a moment but what bittle means is not i never enjoy myself i don't matter i let people walk all over me i let people step on me i feel inferior i'm insecure that's not what it means at all i can't be any more secure i can't feel any less inferior you know why i'm not me i've been without the personal sense inside of me into the telemeto kim of me you know who i am i am an agent i am a shliya of hashem i am ambassador of god and therefore i carry the greatest confidence you know if someone is an ambassador to a country and they represent the president of the united states of america someone's an ambassador they represent the prime minister of israel when they walk into a meeting with confidence what gives them the confidence not their own sense of self is rather their role their assignment their mission their charge to be an ambassador of someone who's a much greater power who has a much greater perspective so we are ambassadors we are agents of the almighty we are shlikham of hashem we are as messengers in this world so when i am expressing myself as my own independent self when i'm expressing myself as my needs my wants when they run in conflict with god then that's not good that's what i need to be in a vatel that's what i need to nullify but when i tap into when i identify when i set goals that are all about being of service to god that i'm his age and i'm his ambassador i have a mission in this world it's not easy to define i'm not the same for everyone i can't define my mission the same as yours salaam arabic calls that avodah zarah avodah zarah when i do an avodah when i think that my life my mission my service has to imitate has to be exactly like yours it's zara it's strange it's foreign to me it has to be based on who i am and where i've come from and where i'm going what are my assets what are my liabilities what are my strengths what are my weaknesses everyone has their own avodah everybody has their own mission everybody has their own reason they are here and their own things they need to accomplish you can be inspired by others but don't try to copy don't be a poor imitation of someone else don't try to do something zara to you don't do an avodah don't do a service which is zara which is foreign to you figure out your avodah but we're all agents of hashem so what is bittel bittle is not i'm a gournish step all over me i am nothing i have no needs no wants no ability to feel satisfaction pleasure happiness or joy bittel is i'm a vital i'm nullifying the part in me that is not the telemelo kim i'm nullifying the animal instinct and impulse i'm nullifying the ego the arrogance i'm nullifying the envy the jealousy i'm nullifying the anxiety the worry and the only thing left inside me is a telemelo kim i recently wrote about an a meeting i went to i think i spoke about a living with a moon a couple weeks ago as well and i heard somebody describing that a woman was describing that every day she prays and that third step of a.a which is putting yourself under the care of the higher power which is essentially bittel essentially emunah we've known it long ago that she said every day she dovens she prays she and say davin every day she prays and after she prays she meditates in other words she talks to god and then she sits for a moment and thinks and then she said something i thought was very profound she said when i pray i'm talking to god and when i meditate i'm listening to see if he's going to talk to me now what does that mean she's crazy she's off a rocker that means that she's hearing sounds hearing voices she's nuts no what it means is we have a celebrity inside ourselves there is a godly spirit and a godly voice in us and when we sit and we think and we listen when the neshama speaks to us when we're willing to listen to our neshama when our neshama finds its voice that's god talking to us now again i'm not saying well god really wanted me to do this god wanted me to do that i'm not saying cross god's own boundaries and then claim god told you to do it cross god's will or values and then claim that god told you to do it hurt or harm or injure others and then say well i heard a voice god told me to do it i'm not talking about where you know where we need to go to the loony bin we're hearing the voice of god it means that we have to listen to our nishamah listen to the pentaly listen to the voice of god within ourselves listen carefully listen attentively see if he is expressing himself to us sometimes you have to dive in on something it's a big decision that has to be made you're working on a project you have a dilemma you're trying to work through or fight through you're trying to just find yourself and find your calm i'm going on vacation i'm heading out of town tonight and i'm excited to unplug after two years with no break to be able to rediscover who i am and spend time with my family and a lot of time without that technology and a lot of time talking to him but also working to see if he's gonna talk back to me again not tell me the lottery numbers who's going to win the super bowl but rather just listening listening to the penalty it's that voice of our neshama within ourselves that's bittel that's bittel bittel is i'm not nullifying who i am i'm actually trying to give expression to the ultimate most authentic part of who i am and the most authentic the highest the part that is immortal the part that lives eternally is the tzalam of kim in me so there's a lot of noise and a lot of layers that covers that kim god created us you created us with this pure godly spirit and godly soul and then you said now go go into my world and go be my agent i'm hereby declare i deputize you as the ambassador wherever you live god says you're my ambassador represent me have the confidence when you walk in and what happens oh we have layers and layers on top of our neshama and we forget our mission and our role our ambassadorship and instead there's a lot of noise there's the noise of our own personal needs and wants there's the noise of keeping up with others there's the noise of a complicated world to navigate there's the noise that absolutely hums in the background and we can't hear him talking to us anymore sometimes we have to quiet that noise we have to quiet that noise we have to pray talk to him and quiet that noise and listen to see if he's talking to us bittle bittle is the act of quieting the noise shut down that noise disconnect from that technology listen to that godly spirit find him within ourselves okay we're on page nun alex page 51 we're making our way says the following if we can quiet and shut off the noise if we can disconnect from the technology and from the pressures chaos and complications of this world if we can listen to that pentaly the godly soul the spirit in us if we can vatel the selfishness and the ego and actually let the best of ourselves shine through our lives are so enriched spiritually our lives are enriched we feel the ultimate satisfaction fulfillment happiness and bhagasmius physically in other words and he's going to get into this in the book what i love about this he has a chapter this should i give you a little teaser we had our planning meetings l-o-b-r-s this year and now not only locally primarily and most significantly directed locally but globally you'll all have access to it as well in our moon in our yellow theme rather this year our yellow theme will include a four part series called breathe eat sleep move the toe review on those four practices breathe eat sleep move toe review torah is all about how i daven torah's all about how i do mitzvahs taught us about how i keep shabbos and keep kosher what's the torah have to say about how i breathe how i sleep how i move how i eat the answer is only everything torah has everything to say about how to do those things with discipline and what the right values of those things are and why we do them and how much is too much too little what our attitude what our approach what their role is in our lives in bayan victor meyer has a chapter on sleep a chapter on eating a chapter on not being sedentary moving because there are countless total sources there's a hashgaffer when you are an ambassador of god then you're training and you have to be a peak performance and to be an ambassador of god at peak performance what is what is the ambassador what is the what does god have to say about sleep about eat about breathe about move so not only when you live this life of ammuna and bitakon not only are we enriched by it's not just that spiritually we've grown but also physically in this world we feel at our most healthy and our most happy and our most well-rested we are doing our best i won't take time now you can google it but you'll find countless studies that show the health benefits blood pressure sugar diabetes cardiac health cardiovascular health it all improves the calmer you are the more you let go the more you practice bitter the more longer you'll live the healthier you'll be the less shallow you're breathing all that we do our entire service our ambassadorship our mission will come from a pure heart says richard meyer if we live with this way if we live with this attitude we can be satisfied even baruch yes we have a concept excuse me our rabbis tell us in pirkei usher who doesn't want to be wealthy you want to win the lottery you know how to win the lottery and be the wealthiest be happy with your lot if happiness is defined by what you have then you'll always be happy because you always have something if the happiness is defined by something you want if only if i had this past and these children if i had this job this income this car these clothing this technology if only i had that then i'd be happy then you'll never ever be happy that's why it's called the pursuit of happiness because you never arrive you never achieve it you keep pursuing it if happiness is something i don't have there will always be more you could be number one on the forbes fight you can be number one on the forbes fortune 400 force 400 whatever it is you could have billions and billions and billions of dollars more money than you can spend if you ever try to and yet you won't be happy because there's always something more to want if happiness is defined by what i have i can always be happy because i could always find something i have if happiness is defined by what i want i'll never be happy because there could always be more so we have a concept somehow be happy with what you have realize it's what you dumb you could be ambitious i am a somewhat ambitious person set goals pursue them be ambitious want more but be happy with what you have it's not a theory it's not a contradiction you could be driven you could have aspiration and ambition but simultaneously in the end of the day after all that effort after the initiative be satisfied with what you have so this principle of being samar khalko this principle of being satisfied with your lot life is true not only in the world of ruknius is true not only in the spiritual spiritual realm i'm sorry not only the physical realm be happy with your car be happy with your home be happy with your salary be happy with your income be happy with your looks be happy with your bald head be happy in life not only bhagasmius but also yes i miss seeing whether you smile when i make a joke please god we're going to resume in person when i come back follow me tish above we're going to have a hybrid model we're going to stream and be in person i hope everyone local will come back in person and for those who are not local we will stream as well so the notion of behalco maybe maybe it's better this way and i see that you're not smiling even when i make a joke and at least i can still humor myself so sameer behelko the principle of being happy with your lot applies not only in the physical world ganbarus even though a person should have spiritual ambition drive aspiration uluratsus like gala madriga's governors you should want to climb that ladder get higher and higher be more and more pious there's a combination a person has to find the balance between on the one hand being driven to daven with more focus pray with more focus live with more faith improve in your behavior but on the other hand live with simplicity is the end of the day i don't know what's intended for me just like this car and this spouse and this income are what god wants from me i try hard i work hard i try to do more do better but at the end of the day i'm satisfied with my lot similarly baruch maybe i'm not meant to have a memory that can recall shas by heart maybe i'm not meant to be able to sit with that diligence maybe i can't have that focus when i pray but i have to realize that i have to give it my best what it has in common is both in the spiritual and the physical world i'm only entitled to sit back and say this is my lot i'm satisfied once i know i gave it my all if i didn't give it my all then maybe coming up short is not because it's my lot maybe i coming up short is because i didn't try hard enough comments really my goal my shifa my ambition is to bring i want to bring joy and pride to my creator by fulfilling everything that he dreams for me that he commands of me of allah mashahu why why do i want a darvin better why do i want to learn more why do i want to volunteer why do i want to be a better leader is it all contributing solomon i'm a somebody what's my purpose what's my goal what am i running after to be a somebody the gambler shiro shadow rats is it about the mission of my article last week was about sunday motamas was the 27th year outside of the bachelorette and the laboratory i described in my article was the definition of jim collins level 5 feeder leadership jim collins the author of the book good to great to find a level 5 leader in the five levels of leadership as the person who they're not the brand the institution the company comes before them it's not about them so therefore there will be a seamless succession they don't have to be they may be the face of it they may be the spokesperson of it but they are not the brand that's level five leadership it's not about you it's about the cause it's about the mission whatever it may be and i spoke about the bachelorette but was a ultimate example of that and hirovich meyer saying the same thing for us we're doing all the right things but are we doing them for the right reasons like we discussed in the sharing in the chapters on on tahara you could do all the right things are you doing it for the right reason why do you go to deaf why do you volunteer why do you write that check and sponsor that learning are you doing it so that you are somebody are you doing it because you believe in the mission because you believe that's your mission because you want to advance the institution the cause the effort what is the goal what is the drive um and when you're doing something for a noble reason when you're doing it for god then even if it's unsuccessful you have no regret and you don't feel sad or bad because it's not about you it's not about your success it's not about your track record it's all about advancing the cause of the mission it's all about the brand this hashem the brand this is torah the brand is our service to him in this world is so what happens i think that god really wants this committee this program this idea this institution and then i try i work hard and work hard to raise money to launch it to put it together to get it together and then i discovered it doesn't work it just doesn't go then what i found is that this wasn't the rats on hashem this is not the will of god and so that is the challenge for us if when something hits the wall if it fails or stumbles or struggles and do we walk away with a smile with our head held high saying i guess this wasn't the rats on hashem i guess this wasn't the will of god it wasn't meant to be it's not part of his plan or are we devastated are we debilitated was it really all along all about us and not about him so the more that a person is bottle um the more that we can continuously try to nullify eliminate suppress purge that sense of self again i have an identity but my identity is because i have the gift of being a telemelo kim i have an identity but my identity is i'm here on a mission from god not because i'm a rabbi everybody whether you're a clay kurdish or lake kurdish whether you are a bala bus or whether you are working in avodah sakodash it's not just professionally if a person's chosen their career in the rabbinate or education or outreach every one of us no matter what we're in no matter what we're doing no matter what stage of life no matter what gifts or talents we are ambassadors we're agents we hear on shlikhas from hashem and we have to be vatta on the other side of us whatever voice in our head whatever instinct or drive in our heart listen to that penalty and listen to that godly soul give it expression in this world to the degree that we nullify god doesn't want to come into a space in which he's competing have you ever been in a place where everyone's trying to talk over you you can't get a word in edgewise you can't have your opinion expressed everyone is just talking the decibel levels go higher and higher people are competing for interrupting one another everyone's trying to talk over one another you say i'm out i'm just going to sit quietly i i don't need to compete i don't need to compete you're not interested it's fine i'll stay quietly or i'll leave i don't need to come i don't need to come again so god the shrine of the presence of the almighty is not in a place where he's going to need to compete he doesn't want to come somewhere where we're out shouting him so when the side in ourselves when the personality within us that's out shouting god who's speaking at a higher decimal level and says nah who cares what you want this is my agenda these are my needs these are my wants this is what i think so god says i'm out of here i don't need to be there but to the more that we suppress and we quiet that other voice the more that we say shah everybody quiet let's listen to hashem let's listen to tell him look him what does he think what does god want what is god assigning us what's our next mission what do we need to do then god says that's a place they invite me it's a place they want me that's where i'm going to hang out so sister of ichimayer the fee camera the more that we can quiet that alter ego in us the real ego inside us not ego in the negative sense but the real identity in us is that selam alchemist the godly soul the godly spirit the alternate alternative ego inside us the alter ego is that animal instinct the animal paul impulse the sense of self the ego ego is edging god out ego is an acronym edging got out it's you or god there's not room for both so the more that which were the bottle the vatel the more that we can nullify ourselves the more the room there is for god all that was a very long footnote and we go back upstairs back upstairs vinay she calls the dover pasha um there is no one there is nothing all there is is god he is everything everything um is a little passion it's hard it's hard you know why because when i drive the car i think who got me from point a to point b i drove i worked hard i had the money to buy the car i filled it with gas or if i have an electric car i plugged it in i'm the one who navigated i drove successfully i am the one who who got us there and that's just a muscle it's a metaphor for every other area of life income children every area of life i think i'm the driver i'm in control it's very confusing it's very complicated i have to stop and remind myself and be mindful and conscious and conscientious no no no no yeah i'm the agent i'm the one who drove but only because god allowed me to get from point a to point b the car didn't stole and the car didn't run out of gas the car didn't break down and i didn't get hit side swiped by anyone else i wasn't in traffic i didn't get in an accident i didn't get lost only because of god valor it's more over it's not just that we're in neutral that it's power of and we have to remind ourselves of what we're supposed to believe we're actually fighting inertia there's actually momentum against us because there's a natural instinct within ourselves to say ego it's all me ego i take credit my ego. a person has to know well so because we're fighting inertia and because we're trying to overcome the momentum and because we're trying to persevere over the natural instinct within us nobody wants bitter what do you mean i want what i want i don't want to suppress the voice of my pleasure my needs my wants and give in to some higher power telling me give in to the better version of myself i like the weak version of myself the weak version of myself eats well and doesn't have to exercise and sweat and is lazy and sleeps in the weaker version of myself i like it i don't want to suppress that weaker version of myself the weaker voice and only amplify the loud and give and give sound to the uh to the better version of myself who wants to do that we don't want to naturally and that's why we need to spend time dissecting and unpacking and understanding and planning and executing on what beatles is all about and i am very excited to do that with you and i'm excited to do that in a few weeks from now so we're going to be taking a break again you can listen to old episodes i want to thank the morgans very much again for their sponsorship of the whole series for the year i hope they will please god continue thank you for that generosity thank you for all the people who sponsored throughout the year hopefully we can continue to live with emunah and vegas and to improve and enrich our lives in that process join us for the last episode of behind the bema tonight for the season going behind the beam at 9 pm with the great ravanas friedman and his son the great benny friedman using their voices to teach and to sing and the father-son duo in anticipation of father's day tonight 9pm behind thebema.com you can watch and join us live looking forward until next time until after the summer stay happy stay healthy and stay holy