Living With Emunah (Part 191): Magnify the Light

good morning boca tov what a great day you know how i know it's a great day because we're alive we're here we woke up this morning we're here for another day hashem still believes in us there's more to do there's more to accomplish and we're one day closer to being able to trim the beard so therefore it is a great great day i want to thank our muna series sponsors so deeply deeply grateful dr xavier and bella morgan in memory dr brian galbert and in memory of ellen mother dr ellen shanzer so thank you very very much for your generosity also today's day of learning at brs is sponsored by the cross moscow dolce family for a full shilling for alex krause rafael arnaut cohen ben rivka should have a speedy and a complete and a painless raphua shalema thank you to our sponsors if you'd like to sponsor a future class at brs please email lee lee brsonline.org l-e-e-b-rsonline.org thank you for coming back and joining our weekly essentially support group to remind ourselves that we don't live independently we don't live on our own we don't live in a world in which we are alone responsible for all that happens to us and all that we are meant to do but there is an infinite omnipotent being there is a creator there's a higher power there's a ribonucleolum most importantly we have a father in heaven who loves us and who's intimately involved in our life he's not just aware of what's happening he is involved in curating and orchestrating what is happening and therefore nothing that happens is random it's for a reason and with that knowledge and with that faith and with that confidence we can take on whatever the world throws our way we don't have to be anxious or envious or arrogant or angry but rather with a sense of calm and tranquility and serenity we are ready to conquer any given day because we put our beta and we put our faith in avaraba seder snippets you can subscribe for a six minute snippet every day we've been going through the sit and we're up to abu rabbah and in that we have the statement lu nevos we've been talking about let us never be humiliated embarrassed or ashamed when we put our faith and our trust in you god when we lean in in that relationship with you when we are invested and not just going through empty actions and motions and not just putting a check mark next to what is demanded or expected of us but there's a relationship relationships require time they require conversation communication relationships require vulnerability when we have a relationship with hashem we are an ongoing conversation a dialogue we're speaking to him and we're listening to him regularly speak to us we don't have to worry that we'll be ashamed or embarrassed but rather we recognize that all that happens comes from above and comes from hashem so thanks for joining us we remind ourselves of what we know but we often and easily forget each and every week we are learning morgenstern the great south dakota stroll and we are on the character chapter of vegas how to cling to how to glue ourselves to how to stick with god that no matter what life throws our way we remember that god has our back that we're sticking with him and we have been talking about first of all the ore rovicha meyer's language we have to learn his vocabulary and in his vocabulary not uniquely his own but the vocabulary he's using he talks about or the light to see the light is to feel the presence of hashem in our lives to see the light to feel the light to be enlightened for our lives to be illuminated a person who's living without god without a higher power is living in the dark so much of the recovery world recovery movement recovery from addiction includes the critical step of submitting to a higher power because if you don't believe in a higher power if you don't realize that we are helpless without him if we don't submit and surrender to that higher power we're living in the dark and when you live in the dark you need to numb yourself from all the obstacles that you'll bump into living in that dark and so at the root of the core of so much addictive behavior is the concentration on the self is thinking it's all about me and i'm responsible and i'm obligated and i'm accountable and i'm to blame all that emphasis on the self leaves one needing to numb themselves or escape the world that they're at the center of but when you submit or surrender to a higher power you don't need to escape you're not the center of the world he is we're simply a spoke on the wheel instead of being at the center of that wheel then you don't need to turn to something to numb you you don't need to engage in something that will help you escape but rather we can escape in him in god that we turn to him talk to him invest in him and most of all we cling to him which is this media of of so we spoke about the light there are moments that you feel the light and there are moments that it feels that there's darkness there's a blockage there's a uh what's that called when the moon passes in front of the sun during the day see that's the problem of doing youtube live you can't talk to me what's that called an eclipse when there's an eclipse of the sun so there's moments in our lives where we feel there's an eclipse of the light of hashem of the light of sometimes we feel like we can't see we can't feel there's an eclipse there's a blockage we're unable to make contact with with him in awareness of him so in those moments we have to lean on and rely on and draw from the bank account that we have invested so much in of emunah it doesn't mean we abandon the relationship just like in any other relationship when you run into a rough patch when you have a hard moment you don't abandon you don't walk away you double down you invest you fix you correct you repair and in fact you use that darkness to not only recover light but to have greater light than ever in moments of darkness or distance then one understands what caused it and one understands where it's from then not only can you eliminate it and recover from it but you can improve and grow to be even better than ever it's a whole other conversation most recently we spoke the last victory has been telling us the critical importance of when you see that light when you feel that light when you have that breakthrough capture it concretize it you have to take upon yourself a kabbalah you have to make it not something fleeting not something which will disappear not what one of my rebellion or blackman and karen biaba used to call the hot mara syndrome the hot mother syndrome was that you hear a mushrooms right before marvin yeshiva a rabbi gets up and he gives the most inspiring stories and he paints the most aspiring picture and you are on fire and that marv is unbelievable but ten minutes after marv you're back to who you were once the marab wears off once that musser schmooze wears off you're back to where you were so how do you bottle it how do you capture it how do we make sure and ensure that it's not fleeting it doesn't dissipate it doesn't dissolve or disappear but we are able to employ it engage it and execute it in our lives on a daily basis answer is a kabbalah we have to take upon ourselves a practice a change something real something lasting something that will manifest so that even when an eclipse comes and even when the light gets blocked again by darkness we're still at it we're still going that's what we have to do you have to do so continuing where we left off we're on page anyone who's purchased the safer and i highly recommend it has not yet been translated into english beyond if you have it and you're following inside we are on page kuf alef every light and every positive feeling every contact with the divine needs a lavush it needs right our soul is connecting with the spirit the spirituality of hashem all of that is ephemeral all of that is is spiritual all that is intangible so how do you capture that it needs a lavish it needs a garment it needs a clean it needs a vessel so it can't just be academic theoretical spiritual pie in the sky we talked about last time why not cake in the sky or babka in the sky but pine this guy works too for the right kind of pie so it cannot just remain pie in the sky it's got to be brought down it needs a vessel and it needs a lavish it needs a garment in order to be able to appear in the world the target masa or lamisa to translate the light into action to translate into action and to unite and to connect the hargasha the feeling this feeling to our real lives and our lifestyle but poe in actuality and in practice how many times have you met people how many times have we ourselves said to ourselves or others you know i may not be the most scrupulous vigilant i may not be the most observant myself but i'm very very spiritual very spiritual i may not practice but i'm very very spiritual okay what does that mean to be spiritual you have thoughts every now and then that are spiritual you close your eyes and you're moved you listen to music you sing kumbaya what what does it mean to be spiritual that's nice how does the spirituality translate into action it's the equivalent of saying to your wife or husband i may not practice it very much i may not be very responsive to your needs or what you want but i need you to know i love you more than words i love you very very much in my heart it's overwhelming with love so in practice i'm not very good at practice i don't observe very much what you ask of me or what you want but there's nobody who loves their spouse more than i do i'm a very sparrow i'm a very loving person so when a person says i'm a very spiritual person and i have a lot of speciality but you say so tell me how does that manifest itself and i'm not even talking necessarily entire mitzvos even not necessarily manifesting itself within scrupulous but just tell me how do you set aside time to regulate in a fixed way pray what what is that spirituality do you volunteer do you give do you study do you learn do you repair do you improve yourself others the world around you how does this because if it can't be measured and it doesn't manifest in a lifestyle and in a real world way then it's just pie in this guy then it's just words that which is being described as a as a feeling maybe yes maybe no there's no way to measure it we need to receive the light in das you need to receive the light not just as some spiritual overwhelming or overflowing experience that again is pie in the sky but it has to be connected lahavana with an understanding with an evaluation with a plan with a resolution with a strategy with an execution and with an understanding of our lives what makes me tick and how do i live and how am i perceived and what do i want my legacy to be how will living with amunah manifest itself in my life so i look different than if i weren't living with amuna i've quoted before and i like to quote ali sadan the mechanic is a very special place in israel the nali has produced some extraordinary people many of whom lost their lives defending and fighting for the people of israel for the state of israel and they learned a mysterious nephesh they learned the selflessness and they learned about leadership and they learned about faith and trust in that very special place rafa saddam is the founder of it and i've met with him and we brought him to boca because he's a tremendously spiritual person but he told me and i think it's a very powerful exercise to engage in he said the first day of the machina is a place that after high school young israelis go to to prepare themselves for the army so it's a yeshiva but rather than be titled the yeshiva they study text not necessarily much of an emphasis on gemara as texts that will promote and increase living with amunah learning jewish the view of leadership what it means to be most what it means to be able to self-sacrifice for something bigger than ourselves that's where the emphasis is on the very first day these young high school graduates come in and he gives them a pen and a paper and he says to them mashifot what are the goals what are the aims what are the ambitions for you in your life he has them write it out and he says to them i want you to describe in five years from now what your life will look like what do you want your life to look like in five years from now that is the exercise opening day at the machina neil young high school graduates gungho to get ready for the army get a pen and paper when they come in on day one and he says to them 17 year olds what do you want your life to look like in five seven years from now describe it so they all hand it back and he says he reads through them and they all say the same thing i want to be married to a nice person i want to be in love i want to be building a family i want a nice home with a white picket fence i want a good job where i want to make a nice amount of money i want to be a good person with nice neighbors and good friendship i want to volunteer and give that's what i want my life to live and then he says back to them and he says inevitably invariably every single year it's the same result and he poses back the same question and it's the question that which amir is posing to us right now which is when you think about and when you talk about and when you describe your life now and your goals and ambitions and aspirations of where you wanted to be how is the answer you give different because you live with emunah because you live with torah he hands them back to paper and he says what on this answer is reflective or an indication that you are a torah observant jew that you live with emunah and that god has a role in your life does anybody did anybody will anybody answer when they asked five seven years how do you describe your life do you say i know more torah i'm closer with hashem i talk to him more often i let him more into my heart i see that light more it transforms me inspires me motivates me drives me where does that part of our personality where does what is supposed to be that core and central part of our identity manifest itself in our ambitions and aims and in our lives opposed to the same exercise or challenge in a different way an exit an exit interview with children when they graduate our home when they're heading off after education after living at home going to yeshiva going to seminary going to college where they're going if asked what did you take for your home what were you asked or encouraged for regularly what are your parents dreams and hopes for you is the answer ivy league or bust is the answer that i make the most money is the answer i live in the biggest house is the answer i'm the best person most honest have the greatest integrity is the answer that i'm kind and good and giving but all of those even an atheist would answer and encourage is the answer would our children graduate our homes tell someone if asked what did your parents emphasize what are your parents dreams for who you become of course successful of course healthy of course happy but does it also include deeply faithful deeply spiritual deeply practicing deeply filled with jewish pride does it include caring about the total jewish people does it include designating time every day for the study of torah does it include consistently davening does it include having a sense of ammuna and vegas living with your shamayim doesn't include having a acute awareness of an awe of god and being accountable to him being in conversation with him living with gratitude for him is that the is that what we communicate to our children before they graduate our home is it what we would write on a piece of paper are our ambitions and aspirations for the years to come so you'll say well of course that's obvious that's part of me look at my life i go to school i'm a member i spent enormous amounts of money on jewish education of course i care about that but there are no of courses we know what we really want to do by what we're doing and so says richard meyer this notion of this spirituality this devacus this faith this ongoing relationship if it remains as light but there is no vessel and there is no lavish there's no garment to wear it and to live it and to have a lifestyle that includes it then it's not real then it's not real the most authentic version of it the most real version of it the most lasting version of it the the version of it that gives us the greatest confidence in its future is when it is incorporated into our lives and our lifestyles when you talk about the light oh yeah no i live a life i go to work and i exercise and i have a home and i might make money and i go on vacation my whole life oh the spirituality that's the ila once a year i have that that's the comforts i love when that rabbi comes to town that rebecca comes to town that's when i travel in the summer for five minutes that's what no that's not real it can't be elio and it's not lofty and above and distant transcendent we don't climb to get there it's outside our lives and outside our lifestyle it has to be lived has to be part of our core identity it has to be put to practice it has to pass the test it has to be able to be measured it has to be articulated it has to be obvious um and when it's with us and when it's part of us and when it informs inspires us and when it's clearly our identity then it also empowers us and enables us and strengthens us to be able to combat the sahara in us when it what's the it when a life of a moon and vegas when in awareness of the presence of hashem when he's next to me and his arm is around me and he's looking over my shoulder in every business meeting and as i walk into the gym when i come home and he's standing next to while i'm dominating and i'm having that conversation with him and he's in the room in my chavrus and he's listening to our learning when he's watching what i'm choosing to entertain myself with when he's always there when i invite him to be present then i'm going to be able to overcome the answer i think i told last time imagine you took your trainer or nutritionist to the supermarket shopping with you it's going to be very different things in your cart when you check out if your nutritionist or trainer is shopping with you versus oh i go twice a week to a gym oh twice a week i have a trainer come but is the trainer with you when you're shopping is the trainer with you when you're the menu at the restaurant is the trainer with you when you're filling up your snack cabinet or paying it a visit late at night if you trainer if you paid or hire the trainer to be at your side 24 7 you're going to live a healthier life well our trainer in all things is the ribonuslam the almighty he trains us he empowers us he elevates us he lifts us he strengthens us he gives us the courage to do what's right and through dvacus when we invite him to be present always then we're going to be better if 247 he's with us and his presence is felt every time we choose what to say where to go what to look at what to think what to listen to how to behave then we're going to elevate ourselves we're going to be better and therefore in practice here's the bottom line every time you experience the light every time the eclipse lifts and you see the sun every time you feel the muna there is an undeniable knowledge there is a complete confidence there is a plan for me i'm grateful to i woke up for a reason i'm here on a mission i have no doubt i have no uncertainty i have no confusion there is no amalek in my life but i feel and i know that there's one hashem and he loves me and he's intimately involved in me and i'm feeling that right now battle it capture it come back to it concretize it how am i going to change my life what will i do differently because of this this comes it's this sheer this article i read this conversation the person i met the experience the trip i took now what you come back from a visit to poland a kid goes on march of the living now what i come back from merits of stroll the opportunity to put on the coattail now what i come back from where i touch something inside myself and i feel completely differently i met a hero of israel sadikart zadecas an extraordinary person that makes me reevaluate rethink my life great now what it can't remain just the experience of light you can't just be something you tell others you once had how will it change your life how will it transform things what are you going to do differently now as a result if you have an avodah in a particular area direct the light direct that experience delect direct being enlightened to that area these bone in both so indian over love and be contemplative in the area that you're working on the ear or so ayuday or and illuminate that area through the light you can take a prism and we can direct the light we can take a prism and direct the light and that's our mission that's our goal that's our purpose here is to experience the light of hashem and then take it in and direct it and direct it so there are children that's very cruel i don't encourage it we condemn it and it's wrong but there are children who take a magnifying glass let's say it's not an animal a little ant or creepy crawly but a blade of grass they'll take a magnifying glass out with the sun and they will have a blade of grass direct the heat intensify the heat from the sun through the magnifying glass they'll focus and magnify it on a blade of grass so the blade of grass will burst into flames we'll light on fire well intense heat on the blade of grass the magnifying glass you take the light and you intensify it you magnify it through a magnifying glass and now you've transformed it that which it's directed on so cesaro meyer when we have an experience the light of the sun is clear and visible there are no clouds there's no blocking it and so you see the light of hashem clear grab that magnifying glass and figure out which area of life which blade of grass you want to use the light of the sun to magnify on to transform and change its nature here in a footnote he gives several examples that i want to share with you this is in many areas of life here's an example of a person's working on the area of temptation or arrogance as i told kids while you're feeling the light and you're enjoying it it's pleasurable you are basking in the sun not the sun that's accompanied by the humidity of the heat of florida in the summer but in the winter let's say it's a january day let's say it's 65 degrees out with a cool breeze and you feel the warmth the heat of the sun on the back of your neck on the cheek in my case on the top of your head you feel the warmth of the sun ah there's nothing better when you feel the cool breeze and you need to wear a little bit of a fleece or sweater and yet the sun you feel the warmth with the cold it's unbelievable what a feeling so you're in the middle of feeling that light you're in the middle there's no block there's not a cloud in the sky there's no denial there's no uncertainty there's not a cloud in the sky in that moment and you're just enjoying the heat of the sun on your neck ah it's wonderful beautiful pleasurable so let's say you say you know arrogance is a weakness arrogance i struggle i'm starting to believe everything they say about me where i get these praise and it makes me i'm actually buying into it i believe it i'm struggling with arrogance thinking my time is more valuable i'm superior or better people are lucky to know me a person struggling with arrogance and now right now you're having a moment where you feel the sun where you feel hashem where it's undeniable there's not a cloud in the sky take the magnifying glass out and hold it up to the sun and point it towards the arrogance in you in that moment you say you know what while i'm experiencing the sun there is no me i need to minimize myself i need to recognize i need to be my vata myself i'm a nothing i'm a gornish i don't exist i will be not a blip on him nobody will remember me i come from the earth and i'll be returned to the earth and i control nothing i know nothing and i can disappear in a moment's notice so you take that sunlight on whatever area you're working on let's say a person says you know what i'm struggling with my eating i eat like a pig i eat like an animal eating for me is a hedonistic decadent act there is no holiness in the eating i'm not transforming or elevating eating i'm not finding god in food and the experience of eating i'm not nourishing my my body so it can serve my soul i'm serving my my boy i'm serving my palate a person is working on kadusa persons working on the elevating their eating so they should think to themselves so right now it's a sunny day there's no cloud i'm feeling god's presence there's no doubt or uncertainty i'm confident and it's clear that there's a hashem he loves me i'm accountable to him take out that magnifying glass and direct it on eating i'm feeling and i'm aware that everything in existence is from hashem i'm feeling his light um yo sir borrower and right now i have a clarity shout out that food is nothing food is going to decay and food is going to rot and food is going to spoil the food's going to disappear and it's really not about the food and i'm reminding myself that every time i'm eating i'm finding god in that food i'm finding out in that food someone just sent me a little clip from joey newcomb joey newcomb my good buddy joey says a cup of coffee kavaldi schmuck i'm not going to try to imitate joey there is only one but he says the coffee has within it inherent contradictions the coffee coffee's bitter but then you add a little sweetener and it's sweet and it's bitter and the coffee is hot but then again you can have it ice cold and the coffee is this and the coffee is that coffee has all these contradictions and so you hold it up and you say bitter all of it all the contradictions of it it all comes from you hashem it all comes so you could drink a cup of coffee and you can say thank god for the coffee it wakes me up thank god for the quality going or you could look at the cup of coffee and you could say god you're in the cup of coffee you you thought of and created and designed the coffee bean and you created the grinding of it and you created the coffee of it and you gave me this emotional feelings emotional connection you gave me this comfort of drinking a nice hot beverage every morning called coffee that also wakes me up and has certain health benefits although too much as in health health threats so god is in the coffee shabbos food a meal you're going to wash you're going to bench was pay sakshini this week it's a mata i hope on monday so god is in the matzah the mata is not just an excuse if you're one of the weird people like me who enjoy matzah to go eat it without any any guilt that you're having a karab mid-week but you say god you're in this matzah what is the story of pesachini what is the story of mata what is mata in the food so it's a second example that when you're feeling the light when there's no eclipse of the sun when there's not a cloud in the sky when the light of hashem is coming directly and there is no barrier it's not being filtered it's not being blocked but you feel oh without doubt without denial there's a hashem take out your magnifying glass and give it some thought for a moment what area am i working on how do i need to improve in what way do i want to be better first of all that's the battle right there if you are such a person that you live your life saying what am i working on how do i want to be better what needs improvements that's half the battle right there it's unbelievable you're engaged you're engaged in introspection you're engaged in the process of trying to understand yourself you're engaged in the process of self-improvement that's the battle right there so on any given day or week or however often we're going through that evaluation and introspection we have to ask ourselves what am i working on right now and then when you have that clarity grab the magnifying glass and direct it intensify that sunlight enlighten write what we're working on so the first example he gave was taiva argyva temptation or arrogance second example is food the next dugma nosfes another example says ravichamyar immobile you're working on loving every jew who shouldn't be working on that right now spherusa omer we're about to come to lagbaomer rubikiba 24 000 students died in a month a thousand funerals a day a thousand who's not drained after one funeral a thousand funerals a day why should i not go covered because they couldn't respect one another they didn't love each other what does that mean how do you understand that not for now so let's say someone's working at abs israel i'm working on being less judgmental i'm working on being less hypocritical i'm working on doing less marginalizing or criticizing or being holier than that or condescending towards others i want to see the spark of god and everybody i want to connect israel i want to see every jew not as a stranger but every jew is a member of my family so take that magnifying glass out on the day that has no clouds and i'm going to magnify that glass on the people who i struggle the hardest to find the god in them to realize that everybody every animated every living being is a spark is a manifestation of god in this world that's all i have to look at i need to strengthen that so yeah in shul i can't stand the way that person dresses or speaks or behaves i don't like how they vote or who they root for i don't like the choices that they're making i i just it bothers me it aggravates me i don't understand how they could approach corona differently or come to different conclusions politically i don't understand hashgraphically how they're different they're not in the shah hakolal with me but they have to lock themselves in to one ask for one time i don't like it i don't like it says richard meyer the antidote the answer is to find the god in them to take out that magnifying glass and shine and spotlight the light of the clarity of hashem on them and say you know what those are the things i don't like but what do i love about them maybe i don't like those aspects but what do i love about them where is the gut what's redeeming what's noble where is the god in them what are their skills to attribute their traits what can i connect with what can i be inspired by and what can i be what can i learn from them is you're in the middle of david and you say ooh this is a great happening most avenue my mind is wandering and the phone is vibrating in my pocket and i'm thinking about all the things that i was supposed to do and needed to do the conversation i had and what i should have answered back my mind is wandering to everything else under the sun but now i have a dominant light breaks through there is no eclipse this is not some dominant where i can't wait for it to be over this is not davening where i wish i weren't wearing a mask this is a dominating where i lose myself i don't know where i am or what i'm wearing because all i know is i'm in the presence of my father of the almighty and i am unburdening myself on him and i'm leaning on him and i'm grateful to him i'm asking him for things the light the certainty the clarity the confidence of god is coming through and it's amazing you're feeling great about it feeling when the light passes you feel i don't want to continue with darling but imagine in this last example that while you feel the light the clarity the confidence you're translating it you're incorporating it you're executing it in your daily life and you say you know i don't want to just feel connected and leaning on and grateful to him while i'm here in shul with my sitter open while i'm saying my tihillam i want to carry him with me wherever i go i want to realize he's with me all throughout the day yakshov think in that moment there's a burst of sunlight the clouds have lifted you have clarity for the moment that there's a hashem he loves us he's involved he's invested in my life what do i do with that i take a moment and i meditate on it i lean into it i reflect on it i capture it and i think to myself i'm feeling his presence so intensely right now as i mentioned i've learned from this kamashri isbach is with me all the time i may be feeling it right now but it's really available to me all the time through that light and through that experience now you know capable of it and it's accessible to us whenever we want it whenever we want it the wi-fi is always going on did you turn the wi-fi on your device your device is only going to be connected when you turn the wi-fi on it doesn't mean that the greater wi-fi in the atmosphere and environment is only on when your device is connected to it the wi-fi is working the question is have you engaged the wi-fi in your device we are that device and we have that antenna we have the capacity to contact the wi-fi of the presence of hashem the question is have we turned it on is it engaged is it connected so ravichammer gave us one two three four five five examples of how to apply this principle that when we are inspired when there's a burst of inspiration that when the clouds lift and we feel the intense presence of hashem that in that moment make a decision take upon yourself a kabbalah don't let it disappear don't let it dissipate don't let it be fleeting capture it bottle it concretize it execute on it make a decision how is this going to change me how is this going to transform me how will i be different as a result of it what will i do differently what will i do differently that's my question and challenge to you i welcome your feedback email me reg at brsonline.org tell me your stories we haven't read an immune we haven't read an amuna email in a while i love your amuni emails they give me such such so if this is having an impact on your life in a way that can inspire others anonymously or with your name share it with me and i'll share it in this class if you've had this experience where you felt the light the clouds lifted the the um the eclipse lifted and you felt the intense presence of hashem and that you bottled it you captured changed something about your life or lifestyle as a result tell me i want to learn i want to grow and i want to share it with others reg at brsonline.org reg fbrsonline.org thank you again to our generous sponsors for today we continue tonight 9 o'clock we're going behind the bema with my dear friend matthew hiltz like fascinating individual if you don't know him you'll want to come learn all about him you can subscribe on our youtube channel be notified in real time every time we go live to learn together to grow together so please press subscribe and you'll be notified in real time and share it with others until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy