Living With Emunah (Part 190): Turn the Inspiration into Action

good morning boker tov great to be back living with emunah as we get together each and every week in order to remind ourselves what we already know and should know that there's a creator there's an almighty that we're here for a reason that he has expectations of us that he's in a relationship with us that we can rely and depend on him and if and when we do our lives are so much better we're much more at peace less angerless arrogant less envious less anxious our lives are just so much better i want to thank our generous sponsors of our amuna series for the year dr xavien bella morgan thank you so much for your generosity we don't take it for granted in memory of rabbi dr brian galbet and in memory of ellen's ma bella's mother dr ellen chanser thank you so much for that generosity i also want to thank today's sponsor pam and dr prospero bitbull in commemoration of her father lester greenberg's irritated ben mayer may is nishama have and aliyah also a big thank you to merrill and jeremy strauss the amazing strass family in memory of jeremy's father michael strauss thank you to all of our sponsors if you'd like to sponsor a future share please email lee l-e-e at brsonline.org l-e-e-b-r-s online dot o-r-g okay we are continuing myer morgenstern now many people email me asking what safer are we learning how can i get it i obviously say his name very quickly so i get all kinds of emails asking what's the name of ichichi is a hasidish morgenstern but known as morgenstern there's a great rav a great uh hasidic leader a great capitalist and it's still in israel today and the safer is bayam it's not yet been translated into english but it is available in hebrew on the internet and i highly recommend it to learn both independently or to be able to follow along together with us we are on page kofal of page 101 and he's been talking about vekas how to acquire this quality of device how to acquire the media of attaching and connecting ourselves to the almighty how to connect ourselves to him our destiny with him and interpret all that's happening in our lives through him to feel his presence we spent significant time on when it works well when it flows when we're inspired when we see the light most recently he's been talking to us about what about when it doesn't how are we how well are we able to stay connected how well are we able to stay elevated and enriched even when we're not feeling it even when we feel distanced even when we feel apart even when we don't feel that light before we continue i want to relate it to this week's parasha safar i've shared many many times but it continues to not only inform and inspire baba khazak to give me great strength we have two pashas this week ahrimosa and ketoshem and in kedosham we read about the prohibition lusikom velocitor we are forbidden we are not allowed to take revenge someone has done something to hurt us or to harm us we are not allowed to take revenge losing is to outright take revenge locitor is to not take revenge but to remind the other that we are in fact superior to them we're better because we're not taking revenge so the classic examples that are given are i go to my neighbor because i need to borrow the land lawnmower i need to borrow a sharp knife i need to borrow their wi-fi connection and they say no can't borrow it don't trust you don't feel like lending it don't want to share so what do i do when they come and knock on my door the next week and they say do you have any salt you have any pepper do you have any flour i say no absolutely not i take revenge that's losing lositor is i say sure you're welcome to borrow it you know why because i'm not like you i'm so much better than you you wouldn't lend to me but i'm so much superior and better to you i'll lend to you that is the prohibition of lossicom velocito we're not allowed to take revenge the question isn't why revenge is uh is it revenge sweet isn't revenge sometimes warranted why should we be nice or kind or generous or magnanimous with somebody who was unkind to us why are we forbidden if we want to ask the question even more broadly which we will not examine this morning but is worthy of our thought doesn't god take revenge kiln the kamos hashem god is known as a vengeful god so why is it good enough for god but not good for us why is it okay for god to take revenge but we are cautioned and warned we are prohibited and told to that we must stay away i just realized that i did not remind everyone in our zoom groups that our a munishir has begun so i'm going to try to keep talking while i remind everybody you'll excuse me if i seem distracted so why is amuna okay for god but not okay for us what is the source of the torah's prohibition for of the torah's prohibition for emunah so um says something absolutely important critical and brilliant says that um at the core of the prohibition of a muna of not taking revenge is to recognize that hashem is involved in every aspect of our life and that if something happened to us that we have to realize and we have to recognize that it's not coincidental it's not by accident it's not only the wish and the will of the other person but if that we've been hurt we've been harmed in some way that somebody uh that kurdish barco has allowed it because if he didn't want to allow it he wouldn't have allowed it he only it only happened because he allowed it and so on the one hand i hold the other person accountable on the one hand i hold the other person utterly responsible however simultaneously simultaneously i cannot and must not take revenge why because i have to realize that everything is from hashem so if i would go take revenge against somebody if i would go and lash out against them then it would be to knock hashem out of the equation then it would be to suggest that god didn't want that to happen to me however the other person did the other person did but we don't believe that and we don't live like that and therefore what i need to do is that if somebody harm me or somebody hurt me i'm allowed to hold them accountable i'm allowed to create consequences i'm allowed to stand up for myself i'm allowed to have some self-respect and dignity when in regards to it but i'm not allowed to take revenge because if i take revenge then i am eliminating god from the equation then i'm acting as if god didn't want it or god didn't allow it so what comes out of this say foreign concentration sorry about that what comes out from the equation is that when someone's harming when you're going through a painful thing an embarrassing thing when you're going through something that you think is unfair unjust unwarranted that a person needs to pause and a person needs to say to himself that you know what on the one hand i need to pursue my rights on the one end i need to hold the other party accountable but on the other i can't get too emotionally invested or involved in the pain or the hurt of this behavior i have to recognize that for some reason hashem intended for it to happen because if he didn't then it couldn't happen to me if it happened it's only because there was something for me to learn something for me to extract some way for me to grow from it that's what comes out for the sake of tremendous it gives tremendous strength to think about and to live life in that way two simultaneously and in parallel hold others accountable and create consequences for behavior somebody rams their car into yours you don't say well if god wanted my car to not be dented then this never could have happened obviously he wanted it and therefore i accept it and therefore i just give the other person a hug no i tell the other person can i have your insurance information you tell the other person you need to pay for the damage you caused but while i asked the other person to pay for the damage they caused and if they refuse then i pursue whatever avenues are available to me to hold them accountable but simultaneously to it i say god for whatever reason wanted me to get this dent in my car and to have to go to the body shop to have to shop it around to have to get it repaired to have to live with the rental for whatever reason i was meant to experience this they're not contradictory they're not incongruous we're able to experience them both at the same time to hold the other accountable to pursue our rights to pursue justice but to not emotionally lose ourselves but instead to filter everything through the prism of emunah through to vacas to attach ourselves to him is a very i think healthy way of approaching life but it's also a very helpful way of approaching life because rather than think of something as random or chance rather than wonder god where are you and why would you let someone hurt me in this way you realize that no you god you're my loving father and as a loving father you would never let anyone hurt me and therefore there's something to help me through this that doesn't mean i don't stand up pursue justice doesn't mean that i don't seek consequences and accountability but it means that i never ever seek revenge i never ever get emotionally invested in a way which actually corrupts or compromises myself i stay focused and vacant i attach myself to you god and i recognize and i respect that everything that happens is only because you allow it or you will it which is the same thing and so maybe you did it because you want me to stand up for myself maybe you did it because you want me to hold the other person accountable maybe you did it because i need to be humbled maybe you did it because there's something i need to learn but nothing could happen without your will oh we okay we continue now we're back with ravicharmeyer and now he continues last we spoke about what happens when you don't see the light what happens when you're trying to live with vegas you're trying to attach to god but you don't feel close to god and we gave the metaphor of marriage that you're married you have the status and identity you are bound by the moral obligations of marriage even when you're not feeling the romance the fireworks and the love hopefully marriage is something that enriches and elevates hopefully it's something that excites and energizes hopefully in marriage there's romance and intimacy but even when there is a rough patch and it's missing that does not that does not mean that you're off the hook from your responsibilities to marriage and the same is true in our relationship with hashem there are moments of high in moments of excitement in moments of closeness and moments of inspiration and moments of light moments of fire and those are wonderful moments but even when they're missing and even when we're struggling to feel it and even when we're looking for it we are bound by this marriage by this relationship by this loyalty and fidelity to him and he to us but now we continue late it's very important to put your heart very important says richard meyer to pay careful attention or that when you're feeling the light when you're feeling the inspiration you're on fire you're having a very deep and a very meaningful and a very beautiful tephila you witness the magnificent sunrise or sunset you've experienced the simcha the birth of a child or you've walked one down the aisle whether you walked out of a kumzutz or a tish or a naila and you were on fire by the song that absolutely fondly broke open that hardened heart you're on fire you've seen the light you're in love with god you're talking to him in the car and while you're cooking while you're working out you're alive sarah shalom says which admires something so critically important it is it is imperative that that feeling not remain a feeling that seeing the light that being on fire that being energized and enthusiastic spiritually religiously jewishly in a total way must not remain a thought and a feeling but rather it's got to be captured and concretized it's got to be transformed into the world of action be ready you need to know now and you need to be ready now that it will dissipate it will disappear all these feelings do we are not robots we're human beings and we live in a roller coaster of fluctuation and we're into it and then we're out of it we're on fire and then we're cold as ice and we feel close and then there is some distance it is the nature of life it can be in our marriages it can be in our relationships it can be in our relationship to exercise or food or torah study or a hobby it can be an attitude towards our profession or our employment we wax and we wane we go up and we go down we are on a roller coaster called being human beings humanity and therefore in the moment of a high in the moment of excitement enthusiasm in the moment of being enlightened and on fire capture it concretize it figure out how you will keep it going what is the kabbalah what can i accept upon myself what new habit can i adopt what new habit can i form or create so when the feeling dissipates the habit remains the habit remains so i'm on fire do i want to take on saying to him every day do i want to take on learning daffy me every day do i want to sign up for ah do i want to put in place a habit a responsibility or an obligation that even when i feel less on fire it will remain and it will keep my equilibrium it will keep me going it will provide a sense of consistency it cannot remain a thought it cannot remain a feeling then it's not real it's fleeting then it's just then it's just letters purchased by avir that's letters floating in the in the sky it has to be concretized and realized person has to accept upon themselves a kabbalah something real something that can apply something we can execute kinae life [Music] because at times during a moment of light we see hashem with great clarity we see hashem with great passion and love we are drawn to him and we're elevated by him but then what happens the person confronts a test we run into the proverbial or literal wall and now we're challenged in emunah you got bad news you're put in a challenging situation you were made uncomfortable you're struggling and now what happened to the guy who was on fire what happened to the woman who was inspired two weeks ago where was all the with god's help hashem what happened to isn't a moon amazing isn't hashem amazing let's sing let's have a kumsitz let's have a kumbaya where did it go the answer is if when you were on fire it just remained theoretical and it was never concretized it was never cemented it was never executed on then when you run into that wall you run into that challenge there's nothing to draw from there's nothing to stabilize there's nothing to hold on to hatamash is that koro kamachi of his manator vishal hagasha sadvakas vargas maybe maybe you were on fire you were spiritual you had a spiritual conversation you had a spiritual experience you had a spiritual moment where there was music or song that moved you to tears but it was a spark but what did you do with that spark if there's a spark but you don't use it to ignite something that will be sustained then the spark gets extinguished then the spark goes out how do you take the spark and how do you fan the flame how do you turn the spark into a raging fire that is the challenge and that is the question today so previously last week the last few weeks we spoke about what do you do when you don't feel it when there's not even a spark and there's no light how do you sustain it now we're talking what do you do when you're on fire when you see the light when you're excited when you're moved by that bald fellow when you're moved by that drush or shear when you're moved by that story when you're moved by that video and it's tongued on your heartstrings it's awakened something inside you you haven't felt or known for a long time and for the first time in a long time or ever now you're in touch and contact with your neshama with your soul wonderful what do you do with that how do you execute that how does it manifest itself what do you do with that is it a spark quickly grab the spark and turn it into a raging fire a flame or will the spark go out will it burn out will it be extinguished yellow levels when we talk about the light of god when we talk about spirituality it needs a container it needs a utensil it needs a garment to wear shia bora la adam maha or so hazel it's clear so that it's it's revealed so that one can observe it needs to be captured to translate the light into action and to attach and to connect feeling to lifestyle how many times have we or have we kind of had conversations with others who describe i may not be observant but i'm very spiritual so well tell me about that spirituality how does the spirituality manifest itself well i pray sometimes at times i moved i'm just a very spiritual person i just feel connected spiritually well that's like saying i just feel connected nutritionally or in a dietary way it doesn't really reflect itself in my cupboard my cabinet my pantry or my refrigerator it doesn't reflect itself in my eating habits or on the scale but i feel very very nutritional i feel very very connected to healthy eating what would your scale say about you what would your refrigerator say about you what would the video cameras around your kitchen or dining room table say about you is it just a feeling or does it manifest itself is it a reality we sometimes confuse feelings with realities and saying i'm spiritual as a feeling in theory does not often connect with the reality and therefore it is so critically important that when we're on fire when we see the light to create and to be the vessel that utensil to be that container that's called the habit that's called the kabbalah that's called to accept upon ourselves that's called a new lifestyle a new component that means that if i'm inspired right now and i say you know there's one blessing which is from the torah it's called benching maybe birha satora may be the blessing of the torah too when you eat and you're satisfied not our parsha akev not our parsha but when you eat and you're satisfied you got to make a blessing you got to make a blessing you got to say thank you we all know that we try to teach our children and we try to baby that way ourselves someone made a meal for us we say thank you hopefully at the beginning and again at the end it was a delicious meal thank you so much for the effort it was really delicious so appreciative i walk out of publix i walk out a stop and shop i walk out a pathmark which i hear is alaba shalom i walk out of the supermarket i shop in i don't go up and down the aisles and collect the items and ingredients i want and then walk out what do i have to do either at a self-checkout or at some conveyor belt i have to pay so the cost of benefiting and deriving pleasure from this world is making abraha the the commodity or the credit card that i use in this world is my words i say thank you i eat and i'm satisfied i'm full it did something for me and i'm grateful say it express it uve rakta so let's say a person hears a whole shir about benching all russia about benching they read a whole article or a book about benching they read a story about benching and they're so moved and spiritual and connected you need to take a kabbalah you need to translate that into a commitment in concretizing it in the world of action in forming and forging a new habit so what would be a new habit let's use it as an example you're moved about making brachos what would be the new habit you'd say you know what from now on i'm committed to always bench from a venture when i bench by heart i realize that i'm mindlessly saying the words i don't even remember all the words i mumble and fly through the words i'm clearing the table or checking my phone while i'm supposedly benching and thanking god so you know i'm so moved right now i'm so inspired i've seen the light about gratitude and attitude of gratitude of being appreciative of common courtesy in their hearts of saying thank you to god for the gift of the food i ate so how do i concretize it and make a commitment i'm not suggesting this is the commitment you have to make right now but it's an example of what meyer is describing that when you see the light and you feel the inspiration concretize translate create a habit and what's the habit i'm always going to bench from adventure there was a time that was difficult you had to get up out of a chair very difficult walk three feet and find a bencher very difficult require tremendous mysteriousness but today at least during the week everyone on their smart device has benching also not the ideal way to bench on a smart device other notifications pop up and they distract and they interrupt however you could open your smart device and simply bench there's no excuse today to not say a bracha from a text be it a hard copy or be it a techno technology copy there's no excuse not to be reading the words and there's also no comparison of reading the words or saying them by heart there's absolutely no comparison between the two so this is just a small example of the difference of feeling the light of tapping into inspiration and allowing it to remain in the air theoretical versus concretizing versus applying versus creating a new habit creating a new habit creating a keyboard creating a connection in the words of hmir creating a connection between how i'm feeling and how i'm acting you need to receive the light with thoughtfulness with insight so not just yeah i'm a spiritual person what is spirituality let's define it let's set goals for it let's measure it let's recreate it let's capture it to be thoughtful and strategic in my attitude towards my spirituality towards light and to be constantly evaluating and re-evaluating in a practical way my life if you ran a business would it be any different the people who own their own business or employees in a business are regularly called upon to do evaluations and reviews of the business sometimes it's weekly or monthly or quarterly or annually that you set goals and you reflect on whether you achieve them and you create new goals and you create a path towards how you're going to realize them you sit and you take a look and you reflect what's working what's not working where our goal is too ambitious where they're not ambitious enough so why shouldn't we do that in our own lives why don't we have our own personal mission statement why don't we have our own review why don't we have our own analysis why don't we set our own goals and reflect on whether they were too ambitious or not ambitious enough or the methodology the strategy to be able to achieve them not only in the world of action have i made a commitment continuing our example let's say i made a commitment hypothetically to bench from a venture have i why aren't i what are the obstacles preventing me from doing it why haven't i how can i eliminate or remove them and when i have how has that made me feel and how can i continue to do it more often or better what can i add to it maybe i'll make every blessing from a text from now on that spirituality and the light can't remain something pie in the sky even in our vernacular we refer to something that's not put into practice as pie in the sky i don't know why it's pie in this guy what if i like cake better or challenge or steak steak in this guy a new expression but pie in the sky even in our vernacular if something it shouldn't just remain pie in the sky it's got to be captured you know you have a heart-to-heart with your spouse one goes to therapy one experiences a magnificent getaway an anniversary one goes for a walk or has a conversation which feels transformative and then what what do you do with it how do you ritualize it how do you create a habit out of it how do you create some consistency does it remain pie in the sky we made commitments to one another we promised we would do this more often we talked about a new paradigm for our relationship or did we put into practice did we come up with a plan do we have a resolution will what we spoke about will the feeling that we had will these thoughts will they remain pie in the sky will they remain theoretical and abstract or will they manifest will they concretize so i'm challenging you as you're listening as we're learning this together in every area of our life reaching out reaching up reaching in in each of these three areas how are we able how will we how will we become that vessel to capture the light what changes will we make what habits will we form how will we ritualize that inspiration that spirituality be more real what are you willing to take on what are you willing to do differently in order to be able to be a different person in order to be able to change all together vazai bay satorbatsvillavadvakasiya's you know what happens maybe you relate to this or maybe you've just seen it in others but you know what we're capable of doing we're capable of having an amazing schwann yesterday i'm shuckling i'm lost in my amidah i'm davening maybe i'm shuckling and my arms are flailing maybe i'm absolutely still but in my heart i'm on fire it is the most real the most genuine the highest connection i've ever had with my creator and then we're able to finish the oven avenue close the sitter and become a ruthless business person look at things on the internet speak gossip and slander act competitively or cruelly to others how could that happen how could it be that we have a genuine authentic spiritual experience in davaning or in total learning and yet a moment later we lose it all together a moment later we're back to who we were the dogma misbala macabre if we dive and accept upon ourselves the light appropriately so how do you go from the most amazing darving and shul ooh we had about mustaf we had about fila let's say the kedusha the songs we were lost it could have gone on forever i was so moved i was so on fire i was so inspired and then we go home and we stuff our face i don't make a bracha before i don't make a barakah after i mumbled benching while clearing the table while not even paying attention while not even saying every word what happened what happened to a moment ago to a moment ago being on fire what happened to a moment ago seeing the light that is what we're capable of that we can experience at one moment but if we don't concretize if we don't apply if we don't habitualize and we don't ritualize then we lose it we can lose it in between the shul and the walk home and i live next door such that at lunch our eating has not changed our conversation has not changed our interaction has not changed velocity abu dhaba a real sense of clinging and attaching ourselves to hashem means that i don't relegate god to shule or the base of magish i don't relegate god to the ammunition or the ammunition group i don't relegate god to when god is explicitly present but god's presence informs and inspires everything in my life and so when i have that moment of spirituality and when i see that light and i have that enthusiasm then i eat differently i speak differently i sleep differently i exercise differently and i carry out my business differently everything has changed everything is different and everything is changed as a result so if in fact when you see the light you become the vessel you create the utensil you concretize habitualize ritualize and every other eyes that you can think of then it in fact strengthens you because if you took god home from shul with you now when you took him to the supermarket he's going to give you the strength and the courage not to buy the unhealthy things not to buy the non-kosher things not to buy the decadent things so whatever form of a yate sahara but if god has become not relegated to when the sinner or the shia is open to when the safer is open but god now is an active conscious part of life there's vagus there's a clinging and connection with him all the time now there'll be the strength to say oh you're in the right you're with me so a person who has a trainer so imagine you hire a trainer you pay for the trainer you work out with the trainer but then imagine you leave the good habit you leave the inspiration the light oh i'm gonna you know living a healthy life is the most important thing in the world i'd never put poison in my system i'm gonna exercise and work out all the time there's no reason i can't do sit-ups and push-ups wherever i am and throughout my day that's it that's it for now on i'm gonna be the healthiest person on the planet but then you leave the trainer and you leave all that conversation all that thought all that spirituality all that inspiration at the gym and now you go to the restaurant at the supermarket or your kitchen or your dining room table now you're lost because now you're confronting the corn chips the potato chips now you're confronting that pie it's not in the sky but it's on your table and now if the trainer is not there you're lost but what if you took the trainer with you everywhere what if you had the ability to feel that the trainers in with you in the restaurant looking at the menu trainers with you walking down the aisles of the supermarket the trainers with you in your kitchen trainers with you around your dining room table won't you feel what you feel more strength more tenacity more resolve in order to eat the right things and eat the right way and eating the right measure so we have that hashem is our greatest trainer and we don't leave him behind in the place in which we saw the light or felt the spirituality we take him with us wherever we go he is with us he's with us when we're turning on the device he's with us when choosing what to watch or listen to he's with us when we're walking in the gym in the supermarket walking through work he's with us in our home he's with us when others are around and he's with us when we are by ourselves but he's only there if we invite him if we welcome him if we want him he's only there when we practice vacas when we cling and glue and attach ourselves to him then he is there and you know what the result is the result is it gives us strength and it gives us endurance and it gives us resolve in order to triumph and succeed in the battle in the war with our yet sahara with our yet sahara so not only is it true not only is it correct not only is it what's warranted of us but it's also enormously helpful you want to live your healthiest best self you want to live your most mindful self you want to be the most proudest of your choices thought speech and deed then live a life of vacancies in which you don't leave god behind when you close the sitter or when you close the safer or when you turn off the shear but we take god with us everywhere and throughout all that we do join us tonight behind the beam at 9pm special edition until then and until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy