Living With Emunah (Part 187): Liberate Yourself By Not Focusing on Yourself

good morning and welcome to living with emunah our weekly support group to remind ourselves not only that there is a hashem but that he loves us of the special relationship that we share together of his involvement in our life and therefore how calm tranquil peaceful happy healthy we should be at all times knowing that hashem is with us i want to thank our generous sponsors of the yamuna series for the year doctors avi and bella morgan in memory of rabbi dr brian galbet and bella's mother dr ellen chandser thank you so much for your generosity thank you for your sponsorship reminder if you'd like to sponsor a future class an episode of living with amuna please email ee brsonline.org okay i want to continue this morning we started last week we took a break from biam de rache ravitramaire morgenstern on vegas which we had been learning and we took a break to discuss about matzah and about hamitz and i want to return and revisit i want to pick up and continue from there as we are in shabu shakaaba the very week in which pesach will shortly begin i want to finish that theme and if you're listening to the series it's not pesach time still worth listening don't turn it off because the message the ideas nevertheless will resonate all year round the lesson of muhammad's mata ultimately lesson of ammuna the reminder that we don't exist independently or in isolation that we are the creation we are the basma or ben melo we are the prince and princesses the children of hashem his involvement is role in our life so we spoke last week trying to understand is an anomaly we have in the world of the world of jewish law we have foods that are prohibited we have foods that are considered to contaminate the soul they're off limits they're also they're forbidden on the other hand we have foods which are permissible they're kosher they're eligible you can eat them no problem comets is this bizarre anomaly that falls somewhere in between where 51 weeks of the year no problem delicious enjoy sometimes and so on and then you have one week of the year the week of which becomes arch enemy number one is this enormous villain so which is it is a villain islam it's a hero and we discussed last week morgenstern developed the notion of the bore in the niv there is the creator and the created and the idea that matzo start with matzah matzah doesn't have spices doesn't have salt isn't introduced to yeast matza is not manipulated and therefore matzo represents just borrow the bare minimum matzah is flour and water mixed it produces matzah matzah is the bore the creator one feels the presence of the almighty in the bread of the munna that's why mata is called the bread of amuna you feel hashem's presence it is the product it is the result only of the intervention only of the interaction with hashem hametz is the mysahinivra commits a sourdough bread the effort the time it takes to produce a sour bro sour bread sourdough bread a challah to have to mix and add the ingredients challahs today cinnamon everything chocolate challa is more like a cake or a bobcat than it is to braid it to manipulate it to design it khala is represents the nivra so mata is the bore matzah is the product of hashem with no other intervention and says is that when man intervenes interacts takes initiative the result is creating so matzah represents so for one week a year back to eating the boray we go back to focusing on emunah it's not about my initiative it's not about my effort it's not about my results it's not about what i can produce it's all about recognizing above hashem emunah i live in a world in which to i have to take my initiative and i can be proud of results but in the end of the day nothing can happen without him he is the senior partner in every endeavor he is the secret source of success in every effort it's all about the beaure it's all about him so when i imbibe when i eat that matzah i'm meeting the simplicity i'm meeting something that is the creation of the boreh this is clearly the will of hashem with no human intervention with no human ingenuity at all and therefore i am affirming i am reminding emunah there is the hashem he created me he created this world he makes this world go round and as though i have to take my initiative and make my effort in the end of the day it is all about him and only then can i go back to eating so that's what we'll pick off we leave that arrogance the ego the attitude that says it's me i'm in can charge i'm in control it's about my pleasure it's about my happiness my desires my wants i have to get out of that place of gaiva i have to get out of the ego the ego is the poison that sabotages relationships the ego sabotages health the evil ego sabotages success shannon roane satman we think you know what there's god i recognize i believe i'm a believer there's a creator there's a god i even dive and i don't know me i volunteer there's a god but there's god and there's me we both take up space we both contribute we both have talents and skills he has much more than me he has got after all a finite human being but but i take up my own space there is a me independent of him that's a mistake that's muhammad's thinking we have to go strong into a week of mata we destroy we obliterate we go on a search mission to find that villain called hamitz comments that ego commits that selfishness that thinks that i am an i there's a yeshus there's a me there's an existence independent of him of god shavuot shalem an entire week lycnos allah a week long there is no me independent a week long the simplicity a week-long his fe the feeling of his impact in this world now that i have planted i've engreened i have seated within myself that there is a moon there's a god there's a creator i don't exist something from nothing i'm not independent i'm not isolated i'm not in charge i'm not in control i'm not responsible not to blame i have to do my best and once i do my best i let go and i let god and once i have eaten literally and and metaphorically the matzah then afshar laxor i'm ready to go back to now go enter a place not only of recognizing the creator but to realize the responsibility of the created the beaure the creator and the never the created but now i engage and now i encounter and now i am among the created not with a sense of ego or arrogance or independence but i now think about myself as among the created and i engage that which is created now i see myself as not an independent entity in this world separate and apart from the almighty but now i see myself as his agent as his ambassador now i am here with a sense of i'm on a mission i have a charge to represent him and to expand his presence his brand to grow his brand in this world as adaraba the opposite godola sabori my mission is to reveal god within the hiddenness you don't see smell feel taste god so i have to be god represent god live in a godly way that people say i just interacted with him or her and they are a religious personality who believes in god i want a piece of that god i love those values i love that vision the world is a brighter place a more selfless place so we spend one week reminding and reaping one week in boot camp one week in rehab one week intensely reminding ourselves about the beaure there is no nivra there's no me there's no anything there's no world nothing exists but god ain't ode mil vado matzah is anode melvado mata it's simplicity there's no salt there's no spice there's no cinnamon there's no everything there's just flour and water it is the bouree i eat the matzah and all week long i am intensely in this revisiting of this one week long intense program there is a beaure there's a creator that's all there is anode navado he is all there is that is all there is and now i can graduate that week long and i can come out now that i know the zabore now i can live as a nivra i know there's a creator now i can properly live among the created all week long sorry all year long even though we eat comments with us so 51 weeks a year i know i exist not independent not separate or apart not in competition but as an agent and as an ambassador of the almighty nasa beaufort the 51 weeks a year i live realizing my talents my skills my sense of self but not independent but rather as an agent of god tahinu shah boray s the created i am the platform to reveal the light of the creator 51 weeks a year i'm eating hamitz but i'm entitled i'm licensed to eat hummus why because one week a year i eat matzah one week i remembered the beaure now 51 weeks i can live as a nivra so all that is the introduction and it's so important we're obsessed with cleaning and destroying and burning we're all obsessed this year whenever pesach falls on shabbos with how to eat the khala friday night shop this morning fulfill sha allah showed us how to get rid of the crumbs and the physical crumbs are important is forbidden even the smallest amount but we cannot be so obsessed with the minutia so ocd on the rules in a way that we ultimately neglect the deeper meaning the polemius what it's all about and how it's meant to transform us take the time to be mindful take that deep breath and lean in when cleaning when searching for hamas when the burning of the hamas which we'll talk about momentarily 51 weeks a year have to be empowered by the one week a year and if in that one week a year i'm not remembering i'm not reminding the difference between a beret and a neighbor i'm not returning to the simplicity i'm not returning to the recognition that ain't nobody there is nothing but him what the mata represents then my 51 weeks a year are not going to be authentic and genuine they're not going to be successful we will on thursday night tomorrow night we will search and then we will destroy and we will burn the comments the we have to remember the deeper meaning don't just you know yell at your husband do you go yourself or you're running don't forget to burn the comments and take the kids and get out of here and burn it i don't want to take a moment when you're standing around that fire take a moment it's not a social scene it's not tashlach it's think about the comments in our life the sense of self the ego the anger the arrogance the envy and that's what we're going to destroy we have a minute in our home i saw it and i say for years ago when we hide the ten pieces i asked my children each of you take a piece or two and think about what this comments represents in your life that you want to overcome you want to purge you want to destroy you want to burn you want to get rid of this year what is the quality what is the behavior what is the personality trait what is it that you view and you realize are unhealthy and we're gonna go search for it we're gonna go eliminate we're gonna go obliterate we're going to go burn we're gonna get rid of and purge from inside ourselves but that takes the mindfulness you make abraham let's all think about what we're going to do we're not just looking for the muhammads in the pockets and in the drawers and the dressers we're looking for the humans in our heart and our soul in our lives we're looking for that ego that gets in the way that makes us be envious instead of realizing we have what we need that makes us feel arrogant instead of realizing as everybody else that makes us feel anxious instead of deferring and realizing we're in hashem's hands everything's with a plan and it's going to be okay we're looking for that hummus all over and then we're going to collect it gather it and ultimately burn it here yo in order to be able to receive a deeper more penetrating more illuminating sense of faith in our lives how can you live with faith if you're not a vessel to receive faith if you're running and going and doing and cooking and shopping and preparing and searching and burning and check check check check check check check check and on the checklist you stop and say what's this all about and kids kinder luck or just to my own self why are we doing this how am i meant to grow and gain from this how am i meant to be transformed by this then what will it do you're not a cli you're not a vessel you cannot receive that light of emunah you're different jew altogether when you come to that seder table you are regal you are royal a prince a princess we are transformed we are pure wearing the white of the kittel the white of the tablecloth we come to the seder table angelic but only if we did the hard work that comes before only if we come prepared and ready and eager. but if we don't have the courage if we don't have the boldness if we don't have the tenacity to go into search for the sense of self for the ego for the arrogance to clean it out to get rid of it to first identify it and recognize it then you're not going to be able to sit nita matza as gili amita smith the bread of emunah represents hashem how are you going to eat the bread of amuna if you have not turned yourself into a vessel to receive the light of ammuna and the way we become that vessel to receive that light of ammuna is in the effort the preparation it's what we do before kashmiris when the person is egotistical self-centered arrogant god says there's not enough room in this world for me and him so i'll tell you what god says no competition no hard feelings i'm just gonna pull back you're on your own subject to the elements and subject to people and subject to randomness i'm out not enough room for both of us oh you think you're somebody oh you think you're in charge and you're in control oh you think that you have power you think that you can compete in taking up space with me no competition hashem says i'm topping out i'm out of here you're on your own good luck god bless let me know how it goes we cannot live in the same place there's not enough room for both of us and this is the inner effort nikon with every amount of cleaning with all the cleaning and all the searching and all the preparing with all the cleaning and preparing that we're doing physically to think about the truth st i'm a nothing no i'm in everything i'm a child of hashem and therefore i have a telemetry godly soul but before i can come on to the thought that i'm in everything because i am an expression of god in this world and i do have a mission to fulfill it's unique in this world before i can come to that i have to realize i'm a nothing really i'm nothing without you god and now that i know that i rely and depend on you now let's talk about what i do for you how am i your agent how am i ambassador how am i your messenger what's my shlikhas what's my mission what's my mission so with the searching with the cleaning with the preparing you're not distracting yourself with the podcast or talk radio you're not just disturbed you know distracting yourself from nebach resentful and more bitter than the murder that i have to clean and prepare and the hard work you lean in and you think about as i do that i'm thinking about hashem i'm offering it feel i'm offering a prayer hashem as i clean as i prepare as i get rid of the comments the ego the the the selfishness in my life hashem help me overcome guy that help me overcome arrogance help me realize that i'm no different than anyone else we're all the creatures of you and therefore we are all the same uliq hashem help me come to a greater awareness a more acute life with you in it help me realize never get bent out of shape never get angry never get envious never get arrogant never get anxious help me see you feel you know you're in my life your arm is around me and he writes here in this footnote such an important important footnote he writes in his footnote these very thoughts that we're meant to have the hardest time in the world to have them these critically important thoughts that transform the entire yanta for us that are so so important the hardest time in the world to have them is when dafga wen erev pesach why because the pressure did you make the salt water did you make the carosas did you grind the horseradish is the table set how are we coordinating shabbos with pesach this year that pressure did you roast the shank bone did you raise the egg does everybody take a nap so they're gonna be well rested for tonight the guest did we set a place how are we doing the seating all that all that incredible pleasure pressure says richard meyer what's at the root and what's at the core of lachat of pressure at the core at the root of pressure is the mistaken notion that i must do i'm in charge i'm in control it's all on me um and then a person feels incredible pressure the gamma aloo lipo mafriullo so what happens there's so much to do and so many people disappointing that you end up angry an era of pesach a time that should be characterized by calm and peace and love and light and faith is instead filled with anger yelling screaming pressure so hashem wants us to work on that that is the work the preparation the anticipation that is the countdown to pesach and every time we start to be drawn to pressure our blood pressure is going up we're panicking there's so much to do so many people i need to do it they're not doing it i'm getting angry take that deep breath ourselves what am i so frustrated what am i so pressured what am i so worried about last year pesach what i would have given to have guests to be with other people last year pesach the pressure to get to shul and to be convening as a community last year pesach how many funerals how many zoom shiva calls how many tragic tragic deaths how many morgues were filled because they and they had to bring in refrigerated trucks because there wasn't room so stop you're feeling that pressure that panic that anxiety and this out of pesach whatever it is how much you have to pack or how much wardrobe you're gonna have to change each day at the hotel or it's how much you have to prepare or who's gonna come or how will the conversation work or how would everyone get the directory in everyone has their own pressure when it comes to arab pesach but the common denominator that's also is stop take a deep breath and become mindful again about what really matters and a sense of context and become that clea that vessel that's prepared to receive the light kenny oder shakom is all from god who owes holy he's in charge of everything i'll figure it out i'll make it work mani rak shli akshala i'm his agent i'm his messenger vimes and if i do according to my best effort this is a critical sentence if i try my hardest if i work my hardest is if a person feels and succumbs to pressure on our pesach if a person loses they're cool it just means that you're lacking in a muna you're lacking in faith it means a person thinks that me a lie it's me it's on me i'm capable i'm in charge i'm in control it all has to happen the way i drew it up the way i want a person has to take that deep breath and realize i'm not in charge i'm not in control there's a plan there's a reason i have to make my list i have to follow through i have to manage my time i have to exert my effort you can't arrive at the seder table and you didn't shop you didn't prepare you didn't chop you didn't grind and think you're going to have seder you have to do what you have to do but once you've done it there's no room for lachat there's no room for pressure there's no room for anger there's certainly no room for losing yourself there's a plan it's all up to the ribosomes up to the almighty when we see things in context and we compare and contrast and we think about this here pesach versus last year where we were at then the things that feel and seem like the biggest deal in the world should recognize that gamma is that we will endure it will pass we'll figure it out we'll make it work we'll make it work that one feels that's palpable habitual to nullify not only the muhammads bitter but to be bitter the asias to be mavata to nullify my ego my arrogance my independent sense of self this is something that's incredibly pleasurable because you're tapping into immortality and you're nourishing your soul and you're living true to yourself you know there's a terrible challenge going on in orlando apparently that's the alia orlando is where jews are meant to go on pesach apparently so they're descending on orlando and there's a challenge taking place in orlando of double bookings and of people showing up in the houses they thought they have they wouldn't have and i'm not minimizing it it's a tremendous challenge it's very difficult a major pivot has to happen find another place or be able to get back home or to make pesach last minute it is an enormous challenge not minimizing it but a bala muna a person who has tremendous amount says you know what i'm meant to be in that house pesach wasn't meant to be in this place i'm not in charge i'm not in control you see a smithsonian i'm going to release myself i'm going to liberate myself from the bondage of thinking i'm in charge i'm in control it all has to happen the way i want if you have to sue airbnb to airbnb do what you have to do but it's that pressure that angst and to lose oneself make a list what has to be done and do it so you'll say goldberg you're sitting comfortable you're sitting pretty in boca who are you what kind of attitude who are you to have an opinion about the jew of orlando who's in challenging times so i'll tell you that last summer when we met my daughter's wedding and there was a hurricane that hit new york the day of the wedding that we had moved from florida to avoid problems and we're sitting in the wedding hall a couple hours before the wedding began makeup is being done not for me and the hall lost power this tropical storm borderline tornado hit where the wedding was and the whole hall has power and you know what i did i was sitting in the lobby with family and i started to laugh thanks to this living with the moon a class if we hadn't been learning emunah together working on a moon together the last couple years i don't believe in a million years i would have been in that place but i sat there my wonderful mother who also listens most weeks to this class and with my children and those who weren't getting their hair and makeup done we just started to laugh we said you know what we're healthy we're alive we're here there's a hassan there's a call as a bride in the groom they'll be married by the end of the night will there be lights or a band or hot food we'll find out what god's plan is sometimes in moments that seem like crisis catastrophe disaster the bala munna takes a deep breath and says you know what are we alive are we here are we well is it is it a pandemic is somebody in an icu on a respirator are they in a morgue or a refrigerated truck because there was no more room in the morgue one takes that deep breath and realizes that this is not about me ain't no vado there's a god i'll do the best i have to do i'll do everything i can do let's go find some generators let's go figure this out let's go make this happen but i'm gonna start laughing and giggling because this is hashem's plan i can't wait to see how it turns out hashem he brought the power back and barak hashem it went off without a hitch and i hope the jews of orlando will have the most beautiful pesach of their lives wherever it settles and however they find a solution and however they figure it out i hope it will create the memories and the most beautiful pesach that they've ever had but the believing jew the jew of faith stops and says i'm not going to feel i'm not going to feel pressure i'm not going to forfeit my serenity i'm not going to become a slave to the feeling that i have to be in control hashem has a plan and therefore as uncomfortable and as challenging as unfortunate all of those things and how much i have to hold whoever did this to me accountable it's not going to rob me of my peace of mind it's not going to make me a slave i'm going to liberate myself and let go uh so on friday morning when we go to burn muhammad we're going to go burn the physical comments of him simultaneous to burning the physical comments when you throw it in the fire you have to stop and pause and think about what is the comments in my heart what is muhammad in my soul what is the comment of my life i need to get rid of it i need to burn it as well it's called our gosh is hyacis my whole sense of self my independence my needing to make the world revolve around the way i see it my arrogance and all the thoughts that i'm in charge and i'm in control and i'm responsible and the world has to bow to me and defer to me and fall in line to maybe zacchaeus and that we darwin and beer hammets going to dubia should be in avodah should take a moment of time that you dive in to say i want to be a new person i want to be born again clean lucky i want to become that vessel god to receive your light lord shalom in anticipation and the countdown to the holy night of saturn night a night in which we make a deposit in the amuna bank account that lasts an entire year hashem i want to be that vessel i want to feel and i want to see and i want to be the conduit that channels your light and to do what i need to stay calm i need to let go and let god i need to liberate myself from that arrogance that ego that feeling i'm in charge i'm in control vahrehvah because of them and all this depends on mindfulness go watch birhams how many people are laughing and joking and trying to throw it in and there's not one thought not one moment of anemia is not one moment of mindfulness and i'm not blaming them we lack that education we lack that background we lack that reminder but we don't because we're here and we're listening and we're learning together myers reminding us what we need to think about and what we need to contemplate and what we need to focus on and how we can become transformed and the result is not worse it's not that well you know what you're telling me to remain calm and god has a plan and find a new place and figure it out how dare you it makes things worse let me ask you the anger and the anxiety is that making it better the anger the frustration crisis disaster catastrophe is that making things better is that proving to be a solution or is it compounding the problem emunah is the solution to whatever the problem is it relieves those other problems doesn't make the problems go away it doesn't mean that you don't take your initiative make the effort but it gives us the serenity the peace of mind the happiness the joy the pleasure the health physical emotional spiritual um we have to remind ourselves of this truth um that is how we will merit for more so you want to come and experience a true pesach you want to come and arrive at pesach with the right of the right preparation you want to sit at the seder table like royalty regal and majestic you want to be able to experience true freedom then liberate yourself from the shackles and the bondage of arrogance of yeshus of thinking that i'm in charge i'm in control i am something there's a bonus level as a god he created the whole world he remains involved in my life and while he has expectations of me and consequences for me once i've done my best effort it's all up to him now i'm free now i'm liberated now i'm emancipated now i can really enjoy so my dear friends set yourself free this pesach and if you're listening on pesach set yourself free any day you don't have to wait for the next pesach every single day we have the ability and the opportunity to set ourselves free we're not meeting next week for pesach we resume right after pesach tonight 9pm we're going behind the bhima the head of the crc castro's to talk pesach castro's and much more rabbi shalom fishbein a good friend of mine until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy