Living With Emunah (Part 169): The Antidote

good morning and Boer [Music] to we come together for our living with amuna are living with amuna each and every week in which we remind ourselves that a there is only one there is no one and nothing but him he is our everything [Music] I want to thank our sponsors for the series for the year Dr z and b Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr Brian galbert a great role model of amuna for all of us and in memory of her mother Dr Ellen chanler who lived a life of service and to the Jewish Community thank you so much for your generosity and thank you so much for your support we continue with our living with amuna we are learning This Magnificent safer a new safer with the teachings of Morgan by and we are on the chap of De us how to cling to God how to connect to God how to stick with God how to feel that God is over our shoulder he is by our side no matter what obstacle we face no matter what hurdle we have to overcome no matter what challenge that lies in front of us Hashem is with us he's watching us he's holding us accountable he's supporting us he's lifting us up he is by our side and even he's suffering with us when we're going through a difficult time and when we are struggling and when we live that life when we know he's by our side when know he's with us then we can live the most meaningful the most purposeful then we can live a life in which we have the greatest strength possible I I want to share before we get delv back into the sa for a beautiful teaching that I heard yesterday someone shared with me from he quoted from a different safer I forgot which safer he was quoting from a in this week's Pas Pas has told us y we know comes out of G he has this interaction with a there and he plants a field and due to his great Merit God blesses him enormously and yet is is able to reap a harvest of a hundred times he reaps a harvest of a h hundredfold and we know that he keeps an exact accounting because he gives generously he tithes what he takes in y is very very generous with his income the the verse is very interesting it says planted and he found that year a h hundredfold so quotes and I forgot again I apologize from whom he quoted that what do you mean he planted and he found how does it work if you plant you didn't find you reap the Harvest of what you planted my magnificent Garden is finally coming into being and we have beautiful Peppers that are finally growing so you plant that Garden you don't find Peppers you find money in the middle of the street you find a lost object that somebody left you find something that you didn't work hard or didn't anticipate or didn't uh or didn't plan for but when you've planted VRA when you plant so when the thing grows you didn't find it it's the result of your planting it's the result of your hard work that is the question so what does the verse mean he planted and he found it's a contradiction if you found you didn't plant and if you planted then you didn't find so he answers very powerfully and we've learned this lesson so many times before he answers you know just because you planted in one place doesn't mean you're going to find in the same place often we make our effort we put in our hisas we we take our initiative because that's our job that's our responsibility Amun having faith in God doesn't mean that you can sit back passively and complacently and wait for him to step in we have to exert our effort we have to do our work we have to try however the result doesn't necessarily come correlated with our effort the fact that we put in the effort is a form of prayer I pray with my lips and my words and I pray with my hands and my feet my actions and my Deeds both of those are expressions of prayer we Prayer by talking and turning to God and we Prayer by showing God that we're ready to do we're ready to jump into the sea so it will split before us but in the end of the day even that which we're ready to do doesn't mean that the results will come because of us the initiative is necessary it's the key that unlocks the blessing that he's waiting to give us but it doesn't necessarily come from the same place why am I sharing that with you first of all it's a beautiful teaching it's an Insight that we've shared often but that is beautifully expressed through a verse in our para but I also want to share it with you because I got an email I've been encouraging you my T our listeners members of our living with amuna support group share your stories I know I'm enriched by your stories of living with amuna when you were willing to give up and then you remember that God's got a plan when things worked out and you saw hashem's hand you saw God's hand in the unfolding so I got an email I asked everyone to share it and I'd love to share them with you so I got an email I don't have permission to use the person's name I didn't ask for it so I'll just tell you the content of the email without the author somebody wanted to share a story that reminded me of sh I work as a professional organizer and I haven't been busy as I would like to these past few weeks I finally decided i' put in a little extra hisas a little extra effort and I reached out to a designer to see if she'd recommend me to some of her clients almost immediately after I emailed her I received a message from someone else inquiring for me to help organize their mother's move when I asked how she heard of me she said from a Facebook group it reminded me of what you said about Hashem helping us once we put in our effort the just because I put my effort in one place doesn't mean that's where the blessings will come from and uh and so that was a perfect expression of this teaching VRA we plant you've got to take your initiative you've got to do your networking you've got to promote your business we have to take our initiative but the V you'll find that the success doesn't necessarily come in the very place that we planted it could come from anywhere that is the way that God operates that is the way that God functions our initiative is a form of our prayer VRA we plant all over I've got a Network I got to send out my emails I've got to I've got to promote my business VRA I'm planting everywhere but V lo and behold all of a sudden at a left field someone's gonna call me who had nothing to do with the effort or initiative I was showing yet the initiative was the key that unlocked the gates of the flow of blessing of BR the chef of BR that Hashem had waiting for me that is able to then come from elsewhere so keep those stories coming they give me a lot of they strengthen me and it gives me the opportunity to share with you and to strengthen you as well okay we're on page P I don't know if anyone was ever able to get this beautiful saer his teachings we are on vus and we have a footnote that we have to make up for before we keep going we last left off with a section that had a footnote and we didn't have time to see that footnote in side so what was the context of the footnote we last left off if one merits to truly cling to God to stick with God to know that God has our back so it's not just that a life of gives Serenity and peacefulness and peace of mind it's not just that it gives you greater mental health spiritual health and physical health and it does give all those things why would I ever be envious or jealous of someone else if I know that God is giving me what I have why would I ever be angry at someone angry at nature angry at the universe if I know that God controls the universe and everything that he does is for my good even when it's painful even when it's difficult so a life of amuna helps us confront and avoid anger envy and all these negative qualities that corrode and that corrupt and that confuse and that cloud us not only does it do all that not only does it do all that I found like a Salesman like I'm trying to sell you amuna not only does it do all that but for three payments of 1999 not only does it do that but amuna also gives us the strength we need to fight and to combat and to defeat the Yahara you know what the Yahara is there's that voice inside us it's not like what he taught us when we were little kids like there's some devil sitting on one shoulder and the angel on the other shoulder and the devil's got the Pitchfork and he's wearing red and he's got the horns and the devil's whispering in your ear it's not that image unless that image works for you the Atara is in our own minds it's our Alter Ego the Atara is the one who says it's a good idea eat that bag of potato chips at 12 o'clock at night you won't regret that when you wake up in the morning that's the Yahara that's the Yahara the Yahara says that juicy lenara that gossip it's so delicious share it it doesn't matter if someone will be harmed or hurt everybody knows it anyway and you'd say it even if they were here and it's public information theara is that voice inside us that voice of negativity that voice that sabotages our relationships and our happiness and our success it's that voice that tries to drive us in the wrong direction and undermine us it's the voice of Temptation and seduction and insatiable appetite and what is the greatest antidote what is the greatest tool that we have to be able to defeat it a life ofus because never give up not those corn CHS from Trader Joe's and not the image that you see on the internet that's tempting you and not the gossip that you so badly want to share with your circle of friends it doesn't matter what your Kryptonite is what your yat Sahara is and each of us have our own but don't have don't have despair don't give up and don't give in and don't walk away but realize that if you cling to Hashem if you live a life of amuna it gives us the strength and the tools that we need to defeat it and you can walk through life peacefully with a certain sense of Peace of Mind everywhere you are you're with Hashem and because you're with Hashem you have all the strength that you need in order to overcome anything that you need to overcome reminds me of a story I told recently I don't remember in which context if it was living in amuna then I ask you for your forgiveness but it's worth repeating the story of the father and the son that are going for a walk and the son asked the father when they come to a huge log and he says Dad do you think I can lift this and the father says if you use all your strength so the sun bends down and he musters all his strength and he tries the large lock and it doesn't budge it doesn't move it doesn't go anywhere so he says Dad do do you think I can do it he said yeah use all your strength you got this so the sun bends down again and he puts his all and he takes a deep breath and he tries to move it and it doesn't budge and this happens the third time and he turns to his father and he says Dad you told me you thought I could do it I would succeed if I use all my strength in the father says that's right but you didn't use all your strength you didn't ask me to help and the almighty is over our shoulder and he says use all your strength and you know what part of your strength isus when you cling to me when you stick with me when you're with me then you're using all your strength and when you live your life and you go at it alone when you confront whatever is your Kryptonite your Kryptonite might be shopping and putting debt on your credit card that you can't afford your Kryptonite might be the food that you shouldn't be eating your Kryptonite might be the thing you shouldn't be looking at the acting out you shouldn't be doing or the substance you shouldn't be using your acting out might be reacting with anger with rage whatever your Kryptonite that's tempting you if you think you can go at it alone if you think you can overcome if you think that you can Purge it from within you by yourself you are gravely mistaken you're wrong none of us have that inner strength to overcome that voice to be able to defeat that kryptonite but if we use all of our strength and part of our strength is turning to our father and saying Dad I need your help abti whatever you call them please help me then if we engage and employ all that strength then there's nothing that we can't overcome so don't have don't ever give up don't despair don't give stay strong because when we use all of our strength there's nothing nothing at all that will stop us so that brings us to the footnote and the footnote says the following many mistakenly think that thear this voice of Temptation and I don't mean somebody who's struggling with a real um a real addiction somebody who has a diagnosed addiction when a person has a diagnosed addiction learning about amuna is going to be part of the solution even in the 12-step program part of recovery is submitting to a higher power it's not a coincidence that the recovery program which is true tested and true and which works and which is a beautiful program that program includes as one of its steps submitting to a higher power essentially recognizing that amuna is part of the recovery program it's not a coincidence but a person who's diagnosed with an addiction of course needs therapy and needs support and needs serious uh needs serious intervention and help so I want to be very clear about that I'm not suggesting that whatever you struggle with just come to the Yun and you're good to go you don't have to do anything else often there are other things that need to be done however what I am saying is whether you are seeking professional help or whether you're part of Aruna and working with Aruna clearly part of the answer is by definition submitting to that higher power it's not a coincidence it's why the program works if you work it it works because it includes submitting to a higher power so many people think many people feel that is greater than their strength they don't know what to do the answer isos why do they despair why are they hopeless why do they give in why do they indulge that voice that ends up sabotaging their life because they think they are all alone they don't submit they don't recognize they don't cling to and stick to that higher power you know what the greatest weapon the greatest gun that you can use to fend and fight off the is the greatest weapon the most successful weapon to fend off theara is is our RAB taught says inin I created theara God says what do you think you're struggling with something I don't know about I'm God I invented you I programmed you the hardware and the software I invented the Yahara I know that voice of Temptation I'm the one who gave it to you I'm the one who planted it in you I'm the one who presented it to you and you know what else I gave you Torah tavin I created the Torah as the tavlin as the antidote as the spice another time we can talk about why do our why do rabbis formulate it it should say that Torah is the medicine the Torah is the therapy why does it say Torah is the tavin the word tavin means a spice why does it say Torah is the is the spice is the tavlin okay fine because you insist I'll explain it now Tor the tavlin what does it mean Torah is the tavlin what is a spice a spice is what takes an otherwise dull dish and it gives it life it makes it palatable it gives you flavor it makes you want to eat it the goal of Torah is not to extinguish theara because a person who has an extinguished aahar we know this sometimes there are children adults who need to be medicated they need a little bit of help with their anxiety Then it' help with their add but you have to find that right dose that's not going to numb the person and Rob them of their personality the goal of the medicine is not to give the person the strength and the courage to be able to conquer whatever is they're struggling with by essentially turning them into a Golem the goal is not to dull the person until you've essentially extinguished the Fire Within them the goal is to channel and transform the anxiety or the add or whatever it is into living a healthy and a vibrant and a successful life so similarly here the Torah is not here to extinguish our life you know the yahar is a beautiful thing and you look at me you say what's the matter with you Goldberg Yara is a beautiful thing we're spending all this time talking about how to defeat it how to not give into that voice that says eat this say that look at that go there how to have mindfulness and presence to find the most meaning the most disciplined the most dignified life so how could you say the Yara is a beautiful thing you know how I don't say it the rabbi say it when the Torah and Genesis describes creation and it says God looked and he said it's good and then it describes God looked and he said it's very good our rabbis understand good is the is the good voice very good is thear you know the passion that's inside a person that expresses itself in poetry The Passion of Entrepreneurship and creativity and Innovation the passion that is romance and relationship that's all from the Yahara that all draws itself from the notion that a person has passions that a person has desires person has longing that there is emotional and physical blood flowing through their veins without that we were dull and nullified we'd be sleepwalking through life we'd be dead there'd be no inov no creativity no romance no passion there'd be no life itself theara is the life force the challenge and the question we have is how do we Channel it and how do we direct it and what do we do with it if it's uncontrolled that Yahara that passion expresses itself in an unbridled uncontrolled fashion it's not directed to No Boundaries for it that's when we have lenti justness and loudness that's when we have promiscuity that's when we have negativity and danger but if it's Direct Ed which is what Torah says Torah says don't put out that fire in your belly for physical pleasure however experience it with the right person in the right setting at the right time how do you know who's the right person when is the right time what's the right setting what are the guidelines for it Torah tavlin Torah is the spice it gives the flavor to life it tells us don't put out the atahar but here's how to take it and direct it here's what to do with it I'm not trying to take away and suppress my appetite then you'll be malnourished but you have to eat the right thing in the right quantity in the right time in the right place with the right BR before and after how do I know how to do all of that the answer is Torah tavin the Torah gives me the spice of life the Torah gives the flavor to life the Torah doesn't try to numb us and make us walk around like we're zombies the Torah says take and capture and bottle that Yahara that passion that desire that longing that's flowing through your veins and express it in the most healthy most healthy manifestation the so when we say that Torah is the antidote to the what do we mean the core the of Tor is clinging to God clinging to God gives us that strength knowing that we are not alone that we have companionship and camaraderie that we have a cheerleading team rooting for us that we have access to the source of all strength who's sharing that strength with us knowing we have a father and we ask our father to help us is the only time we can say we used all our strength a person who merits to live a life of who glues themselves and attaches themselves and clings to God and feels the joy of closeness [Music] to then you're gonna hate bad you're gonna hate evil you're gonna hate evil if you are if you have your father by your side if you have that source of goodness by your side you're going to be repelled you're going to be repulsed by by that which is wicked that which is evil that which is negative as we say in our doming Friday night from those who love God they hate evil this is the antidote says if we work on thatas feel and see Hashem everywhere Hashem is in nature and Hashem is in what happens in my day Hashem is in my history and Hashem is part of my destiny Hashem is in everything that's happening to me I see and I feel and I'm mindful of the almighty's presence always and wherever I am he's always in the room he's always by my side he's always with me so then I have the strength I need to overcome T and sin and GAA these are the most pernicious these are the greatest kryptonites these are would sabotage all of our happiness and success and relationships TAA desire and lust I'm tempted to take my phone and look at that wrong thing I'm tempted to eat that wrong thing I'm tempted to say that wrong thing but then I remember you know who's right next to me would I say it in front of my father would I say it in front of my Rabbi or my rebi would I say it in front of somebody who I am inspired by who I aspire to be like well if I wouldn't say it in front of them I shouldn't say it in front of God I just have to remember he's in the room if I remember he's by my side if I cling to him and I remember he's right there then I'll be able to say you know what that's not worth it he's taught me that's not worth it I know that the pleasure of overcoming that impulse the pleasure of having the discipline to say no is more powerful and stronger is a greater pleasure than whatever I gave up in the process and Ken of jealousy Envy lust I look at the person next to me and I want what they have and I want it instead of them I deserve it more than them but if God is by my side if my father's right here and he always tells me I give you what you need my son my son my daughter just rest just relax don't worry you have what you need you have what you deserve you have what's best for you don't look at what anyone else has then I'll never be filled with Envy or jealousy sinner why would I hate someone else if they're my sibling we share the same father haa why would I be arrogant and why would I think that I can micromanage and control the world why would my ego forc me to think that the world has to conform to my view and my wishes and my plans if my father right by my side and I know he's the one in charge he's the one with the master plan so deas cling to God inviting him into the room having him by our side is the strength we need it is the medicine it empowers us and it enriches us to be able to triumph over whatever we're confronting in this world again if you don't believe me empirically it works part of the recovery program and make no mistake I've written about this after I've had the great honor of presenting at uh recovery meetings to people who've reached major milestones in their recovery I I I've walked away and I'm blown away and it works the people who go to the program and stick with it and one of the things that blows me away every time I've been there is the people in that room have the courage to admit their addiction they stand up and they say my name is Pony Almon and I'm an alcoholic and I'm addicted to drugs and I'm addicted to gambling and I'm addicted to whatever it is they have the courage to admit their addiction but let's be honest my friends can any of us can any of us really say that there's nothing we're addicted to some are addicted to their phones some are addicted to social media some are addicted to Netflix some are addicted to working some are addicted to working out some are addicted to shopping some are addicted to eating some are addicted but you know what many are most of the addictions I just mentioned they're not diagnosed they don't have the stigma of addiction in fact we praise the person who works out too much and we even praise the person who works too much even though they are also addicted in an unhealthy way that's compromising their happiness they are also struggling with compulsiveness they feel compuls to have to work out to have to work and it's wrong and the answer to whatever addiction whether it's one with a stigma and a diagnosis and one ends up in a room with others or whether it's the ones that every one of us face every one of us none of us can admit that we don't have something we're addicted to part of the answer and part of the solution this was what raay is telling us no matter who you are no matter what your addiction is part of the answer is submitting to a higher powerus the recovery program the 12ep program borrowed that from us that is our tradition the I created addiction says God and and I created something called submitting to a higher powerus the recovery program just gives it a new language a new vocabulary but it's an ancient Timeless teaching of our Torah and our tradition whatever is your working working out shopping Netflix social media gossip things we shouldn't be looking at overeating whatever is your addiction he gave us the answer and the answer is a life of because the person who truly truly merits the person who truly has arrived at a place of of clinging to God there is such an acute awareness of and a mindfulness of the presence of Mighty and you so care what God thinks he's in the room and all you want is to make him proud all you want is to gain his approval that you would never do anything to disappoint him you would never do anything to hurt him you'd never do anything to undermine the relationship you have with him so again if we want the answer to never feeling jealous or envious the answer to never getting angry the answer to always being happy and satisfied with our lot in life the answer to never ever hating another the answer to never giving unto our lust or longing or desire in a way that we have compulsive Behavior the answer to it all isas cling to God stick with him invite him to be in the room mindfulness consciousness of his presence in our life because once you once you take that bold step and once you invite him and know he there you won't want to disappoint him he is the source of all the King of Kings the infinite the omnipotent the one who's in charge of everything that we want and everything that we cherish and everything that we love and everything that brings us happiness and we'd never want to disappoint all we want is his approval all we'd want is to give him that Nas and that will help us regulate and control our thoughts and our speech and our Behavior which is exactly what a meaningful life is all about that is that footnote so really the chapter is about Vas the chapter is all about clinging to God sticking with God but V is throwing in is that that submission to God that clinging to God is exactly what we need in order to overcome whatever urge whatever compulsive behavior before you give in before you reach for the corn chips before you reach for the mouse or the keyboard before you reach for the social media before you stay at work an extra hour even though your spouse and your children are waiting and missing and want to see you before you give into whatever that is say you know he's right here and he's giving me the strength and he's whispering in my ear and he's looking at me because he wants to have from my making the right choice because making that right choice will give me more happiness than whatever it is I gave up in that process let's just do a little bit more because all we did was the foot the same par we're continuing with o every Jew needs to believe and know you need to know you need to believe that you can believe this is another profound lesson a profound idea we're just going to start it this week and continue it next week because it really needs to be developed but you need to believe that you can believe because some people have gone through their lives and they say you know I've tried I don't see God I don't feel his presence not even not only do I not see or feel him I feel abandoned by him I'm going through a hard time I'm going through a difficult situation and I struggle to feel connected I struggle to see or feel them in my life and I don't believe anybody can so you have to believe that you can believe you have to know that you're capable of feeling his presence you have to know that at a magnificent sunrise or sunset or visit to a national park or a visit to a magnificent natural setting or at the presence of the birth of a child or at something coincidental simply working out that you have to know that you can feel the presence of the almighty there is such a life there is such a possibility of living a life with a clinging and a presence an awareness of his presence that we can get high on God you have to believe before you begin the process and the journey of living that life it's predicated on knowing that you're capable of living it you have to believe that you have the strength to do it you have to look at others that's why reading biographies is such a powerful tool Tab and shakar once spoken our Tab and shakar gave the most popular class in Harv's history on the science of Happiness an Israeli scholar and he spoke in arul about happiness and he talked about it's a very powerful statement he made as the author of self-help books you would have expected when asked what books he recommends to find greater happiness productivity and life you would expect him to say go to the self-help aisle read self-help genre of books but he said don't read those books even though he writes them don't read them he said if you want to find the greatest happiness and meaning and purpose you want to draw the greatest strength to live the best life read biographies read biographies when you read biographies of great men and women when you read biographies of great people and not h geographies a geography is not a biography a geography says that that man or woman they emerged from the womb perfect they were born knowing and they were born with noara and they were born Practically Perfect that's a he geography and it's lovely it's nice if you want for a hobby interesting reading then go for it but it's not going to transform you if you want to do reading that's going to transform and inspire you you have to read a true biography and a biography shares the good the bad the ugly the pimples the warts it shares the struggles it shares everything rautner wrote a famous letter to a student and the student was ready to give up the student was feeling helpless and hopeless and rautner says in there I wouldn't say it but rautner does he says you think the was born the the great mayor of KAG Kagan of Roden the great who to us the is synonymous with the power of speech with controlling our speech with never gossiping or slandering with never speaking lashara do you think the was born the he worked on himself he struggled he overcame he worked on himself and he took on that responsibility that goal and he became the Father the symbol of that movement of being careful of the power of speech but he wasn't born that way writes rutner none of us were born that way and so said tal shakar not necessarily talking about reading biographies of of rabbis and rebant he's talking about in general read Lincoln biographies about how many times he failed before he succeeded and broke through read the biographies of people who turn to Faith as part of their solution as part of their answer as part of what helped them turn around read those biographies so says Ray that if we don't think that we're capable of tapping into this antidote this solution this medicine bar we all have struggles and we all have things that we need to overcome and we think that we're not going to be able to do it we think that yeah this Amun is for somebody else somebody else could live that life of knowing God's in the room but me never seen him I've never encountered him I've never met him I'm not sure I believe in him I'm not sure he believes in me read a biography read a biography of somebody who did believe who was a Believer who discovered the life of belief it's one of the answers believe that you can believe is the foundation is the prerequisite is the step before a life of belief we have to have amuna in amuna you have to believe that we can live this life of deas because the payoff is so enormous the payoff is so enormous you know when you're in that room and I don't know how today's she turned into a endorsement of the recovery program although you know it's great but if you're in that room you know one by one the people who choose to share they talk about how sobriety has given them their life back so when the thing that they were addicted to they thought gave them happiness they needed the next drug they needed the next drink they needed the next gamble they needed the next whatever it was they were addicted to they thought that was the answer to their happiness it was clouding their judgment it was confusing them only a life of sobriety from it only a life of submitting to a higher power only a life of knowing that God is in charge and God is in control and we turn to him for help and need him by our side now that life of sobriety offers a Clarity and offers a happiness a joy a meaning of fulfillment you and I we all capable of that we have to invite him in the room we have to submit to that higher power when we have that urge or that yearning for that thing we're addicted to to go for that snack at midnight to go watch one more Show on Netflix to stay at work an hour longer to work out one more time than we need to which is taking us away even from our family whatever that addiction to to dig deep and to know that God is by our side and with him by our side and with our submitting to him God says I created that addiction I created that instinct that compulsiveness but you know what I also gave you the antidote stick to me cling with me invite me to be by your side and I will hold you up and together Together We Will Conquer those enemies together you will Triumph and discover a life of Happiness a life of fulfillment my dear friends have the most wonderful day stay stay healthy stay happy and stay holy join us tonight 900 PM we're going behind the Bea with Ben bman on our YouTube channel feel free to subscribe listen to behind the beima rate and review until next time always live a life with amuna [Music] there's nothing but him have a great day everybody