Living With Emunah (Part 158): Hashem is Right in Front of Us and So Far Away From Us

okay bokutov and good morning welcome back to living with emunah our weekly group support group to grow together and to work on our sense of feeling awareness mindfulness that hashem is not only in existence but he's in our lives he's acutely aware of everything that is happening and going on and that we are deeply appreciative to him and love him i want to thank our specific sponsor for this morning's class our beloved linda gordon in commemoration on the first year at site of her husband harvey gordon-harvin was an amazing man he was devoted and loved linda and our community and was kind enough to share linda with me for so many years that she worked together with me and continues to do so and harvey is sorely missed not only by linda but by all who knew him and his neshama should have a uh a big aliyah so the shaman should have a big aliyah also want to thank our weekly sponsors i don't have anything printed out here today i don't have my printer uh we'll come back to that but let's get started let's get started okay um so today we're gonna have a little bit of abbreviated class i gotta hit the road we're heading back home finally thank god can't wait wish us well a little update shaytal has yet to be found continue to uh think about it i share that with you now for your sympathy so that you know that every amuno story that i share whenever i tell you hashtag prata stories they don't always have the great ending it's not like can you believe this almost that was about to this was going to and look how it worked out beautifully and perfectly in the end all's well that lives well and they lived happily ever after it's not always that they lived happily ever after so still missing still no response still no clue where it is but that too is by design that too is the way that it is meant to be and barak hashem for that that's okay hashikaka protest is not always when it works out well everything saskatchewan sometimes the answer is yes sometimes the answer is no sometimes hashem clears a path and sometimes he stands in our way and we reroutes us and redirects us in a way that will be so much better so you can only celebrate you can't always be happy you can only accept and be grateful when you can see the way it works out by definition it works out that's what we spent the last several years learning together is to get ourselves to get our minds to get our hearts to a place where we know that by definition it's always working out even when it doesn't seem to go in our favor even when the result seems to be inconsistent or incongruous with the way that we draw it up or the way that we would want it was in charge and therefore by definition it is always going in our favor there's a book on emunah that was popular several years ago i won't tell you which but it begins with a story it's a great breast liver teacher who wrote it and it was translated by another popular teacher and the book opens with the story of um of a person who was in traffic and delayed getting to a plane to a flight they meant to be on and they missed that flight and the whole time that they were delayed and frustrated in traffic they were frustrated why would hashem do this to me now i'm going to be late i'm going to miss this important event this important simcha it's important meeting and they were furious they were frustrated they were really upset and disappointed and then of course as it turned out the plane went down there was a terrible accident now the person understood oh such hashikaka and that's how the book began with that story of as we go through our lives there are times we are terribly disappointed but hashem always has a plan so i went to go meet with the author of the save for the author of the book a great sadhaka in you shall i with no challenge against him but trying to understand and i said to him that's an easy story the story where you see the way it worked out in the end for you and you therefore are overwhelmed and feeling with gratitude that's easy what about the person who was wait listed on the plane what about the person who did not have a seat right away but when the other one was stuck in traffic a seat opened up and that person then got their seat assignment and they went down how about that for ashkaja prata story they really weren't supposed to get a seat on the plane they really didn't have enough room they really were only on the waiting but a seat opened up and lo and behold the seat opened up on a very plane that went down lost their life left the children orphans and their wife a widow is that protestory too and the answer is yes it's painful unbearably painful hashikaka prathas means divine providence it means hashem is involved in our life not always when the answer is yes not always when the answer is what's good that esther waxman not teach us when our son nachshon was kidnapped and the idf on a rescue mission went in to get him and he was murdered and she turned to a nation of israel who had lit candles in his honor and who had prayed many of whom had never moved their lips to utter a prayer before and she said don't think your prayers were in vain hashem heard all of our prayers just sometimes the answer is no and when a parent says no to a child it's not because they don't love them the note of the child is as much a reflection of the love of the child as the yes as the yes so losing a shaytan fedex is uh inconsequential compared to the other examples i've given utterly inconsequential and unimportant at least to me but um but the point is that we can't only live our lives identifying and pointing and recording for our family yamuna watap group that protest when it all works out would you believe in pratis what were our stories this week forgot to take the garbage out once take the garbage out and discover that the car door had been left open by the kids little things every day that practice not only when they work out even or also or especially when they don't work out they too are practice okay as i said we only have a few minutes together today and i want to just study one paragraph in the abu dhabi the 14th century rav david abu daham and in birka he has a he has a paragraph he has an insight and that's what i want to study with you you don't have a handout i'm going to read it to you please just listen and the abu drab answers what i think is a difficult question a difficult certainly grammatical question but a question that if you're thoughtful and you say these 100 times a day that we were meant to the way we're asked to then you can't help but be bothered by it and that is the formula for abraham the formula for bra when you start every brahma that we recite by the time this morning you've already said your birth and you said an ashiyatsa until i said instead of shahakal on your cup of coffee maybe ishtakumazonos if you're not being careful with your weight you've already made several brachas and every brahma begins the same way hashem means barak blessed what does blessed mean blessed are blessed what does that mean baruch giving hashem all of a sudden we're all hasid and we're giving hashem what do you give the omnipotent infinite all-powerful when we are so finite and limited so we're not giving hashem abraha what we're doing is acknowledging that he is the makor hashem is the source of all bracha he is the source of all bracha any blessing in our life health parnassa children nachas whatever shall unbiased whatever it is in life that we want or whatever that we have whatever that we deem or characterize the bracha he is the makor brah hashem is the source of all that and that's what we're acknowledging baruch we say and we're asked to say a hundred a day no less than a hundred a day every brahma that we say begins in the second person you baruch hashem the source of all bracha is you hashem and what do we do immediately we all of a sudden pivot right away so we start out who clapping them we talk to hashem as if he's opposite me not as if he is opposite me you you you're in the room i'm in a conversation with you and i want to tell you i acknowledge you are the source of abraham um then we pivot the source of our blessing is you second person hashem eloquenu our god melech the king of the universe so all of a sudden we pivot to third person we go from second person you atta to melech king of the universe third person we're now describing god like he's not in the room like he's not right before us so what happened what is the shift from second person to third person from you are the source of all blessing to talking not to god but talking about god it says but madrish tom lakulam hashem the sumid the answer is based on this possible we spoke about this last night in another context living our best selves the final installment the very first rama and all says one should live their lives with this pasik this verse opposite them all the time it's not that hashem was in the shul or shema is in the basement or hashem is there when i'm listening to my amuna class but then i go on with my life i go to the supermarket i go to the gym i go to work i go to the kitchen i go to hashem the negative he's with me when tumid all the time consistently and constantly he's looking over my shoulder he's with me so if you wouldn't watch that in front of god don't watch it if you wouldn't say that or repeat that in front of god don't say it or repeat it if you wouldn't look at it if you wouldn't go there if you wouldn't think hashem is always in the room should you say you want to live your best life you want to live your most virtuous life then live life with hashem always being in the room always being in the room i said last night and i'll repeat again i don't know how many of you were there that we had a wonderful wise member of our executive board used to say there's an expression if you can't do it in front of your spouse it's cheating if you can't do it in front of your spouse it's cheating if you wouldn't flirt like that or say that or text that or you wouldn't do that in front of your spouse then cheating don't do it and she used to say on the executive board if we wouldn't do it in front of the membership then don't do it don't make that decision it's the wrong decision and i said i always tell my accountant i want you to push the envelope i want you to save me as much money as possible if you wouldn't do it in front of the irs agent don't do it it's a great motto it's a great it's a great metric for life if you wouldn't do it in front of that person to whom you're accountable then don't do it so if you live that life that way that your accountant can you know push the envelope but only up to what they would do in front of the irs agent during an audit if you wouldn't do that in front of your spouse don't do it and if you wouldn't do that if hashem were in the room then don't do it because he's always in the room shivisi i see hashem opposite me his guiding hand is on my shoulder he's hugging me he's holding my hand he's walking me through he's there with me in the difficult moments and the lowest lows and the highest highs i can lean on him i could thank him i could laugh with him i could cry him i could yell at him and protest him he's lineage he's opposite with you he's myth me tumid always always that's the possibility that's how david lived his life and if you think david had this blissful life if you think sat in the comfort of the palace and had his servants serving him and at his harem of women and was immersed in the study of torah and holding akumsits all the time that was not david malek's life had a son who rebelled against him and tried to kill him he had a father-in-law who tried to kill him david mello's best friend he had to depart from dublin america had a difficult difficult life where he had to squash rebellion and he had to fight battles david had it difficult but in every situation and scenario whether it was the challenges within his own family or within the jewish people shivisi hashem the nagdi he lived his life that hashem is opposite me when tumid always he's le negditamid he's out with me wherever i go on the side of the highway or with a lost shaytal or with a loss of power or with a tent blowing away or walking down to the chupa with the greatest smile and the biggest joy hashem is right there he's right there it's a beautiful image and it will literally elevate and propel and enrich and empower our lives said it says ram so when we begin every bracha 100 times a day baruch the source of all bracha is you second person hashem hashem is right there they came in hashem is you're my buddy we're sitting around we're having a lechaya we're enjoying a coffee talk you're my buddy you're right here you're right opposite me it can breed and cultivate a very casual attitude a very casual relationship you can become very flippant in your relationship with hashem because after all atta you're on a second you're on you you're on this first name basis with hashem second person you talk to him baruch hashem so you rebbe you talk to him third person does rebbe want a cup of water it's so wonderful to see rebbe how is rebbe's family your rebbe you talk to a third person and a kurdish barack or you talk to you second person you you you borrow that can breed says the abu dhab you could become very casual you could become very flippant and that's why we pivot immediately and look malachor alone on the one hand he's right here he's opposite me he's wherever i let him in he's with me always tumid but on the other hand i have to realize that he's transcendent he's in the heavens he's distant i can't conceive i can't comprehend i can't understand him he says the king of the whole universe he transcends time and transcends space and he's all powerful and he's omnipotent and the omniscient and he's every other fancy word you know says the abu drama hariva khan should take no broken no the reason we shift from second person the third person the language for second and third person is vinister he's opposite me he's hidden from me so we formulate every bracha it begins with he's opposite me and the bracha pivots too he's hidden from me why would i confuse things why would i be inconsistent in the brah the answer is because hashem is both simultaneously this is what it means to live with a moon and it means that as much as i feel that relationship as much as i feel and perceive his love as much as i can lean on him and love him back he's also not my buddy he's not accessible he's not understandable he's categorically different and therefore no vanistor negligence he's opposite me but hidden from me in my bracha and in reality on the one hand through the way he interacts with me he's revealed he's revealed in his presence in my life he's revealed on our family you know recently we were all together and we experienced somehow this thing and i took out the phone to record it my kid said we're all here who are you recording that from and i said because someday you're going to go back in this what's app group and we're going to listen or if you're having a hard day and you wonder whether hashem exists or whether he cares you can go back and you can listen that all of us my wife and i and our children record whenever something happens that we say ah isn't hashem amazing look how that worked out isn't that incredible for good or for better hashtag they still haven't found the shaytan that's also protest fedex doesn't answer it doesn't care doesn't get back to us has no clue where it is that's also ashkaaka pratas it's meant to be maybe should be allergic to the shaytal maybe she'd break out in hives from the shayto maybe the sheitel who knows who knows it's also practice it's also practice some of us as i said have learned to live without hair so she loves to learn without hair it's okay i'm just joking there's plenty of the shades so practice so why do we record it if we're all there when it happened for posterity to be able to go back and to listen to it so how do we know hashem be massive when we look at our lives and we say i have two feet and they work i have two eyes and they work i have a heart beating in my chest and it works my lungs are filling up i'm able to breathe it works wow there's a hashem according to his actions and deeds i see him and i perceive him and he's very real in my life but at the same time when i try to describe him if i'm trying to describe him mr mitzad mahuso he's hidden when it comes to his existence our soul is the same way our soul on the one hand perceives him he's very real he's ever present and on the other hand i'm on a journey to find him to search for him to discover him and so on and so forth so the bracha is i utter it i articulate it with my mouth but i'm mindful of it i'm moved by it in my heart hallelum the heart is hidden ishmael but the mouth the sound is heard had the work of me goofin the human being is made up of a soul and a body the royah which is a piece of god literally deserves to be the opposite god all the time but my body is so physical and corporal it can't it blocking that minister so says this is the reason so every bracha we recite and we're meant to say a hundred of them a day a hundred brachas every day second person to third person and the one in casual comfortable and the one hashem is here and he's present and the one and i could talk to him is my best friend he's right before me he's my spouse my confidant my lover he's right there i can tell him anything lean on him depend on him rely on him yell at him i could tell him anything he's no hashem you but immediately i pivot immediately i recoil immediately i have to recognize he's also melancholy is the king of the whole universe he's accessible through the good things he does for me but he's hidden in being able to describe who he is and just as that's true about hashem it's also equally true about us we have our body which is our physical manifestation of who we are but it's not really who we are the real loss is the neshama is the soul the helicopter that peace of god that he breathed into us literally that's who we really are we are a soul we are a soul and we have a body we're not a body and we have a soul we are a soul that's who we are so the words we move our lips they're part of the physical world but the intent the the mindfulness the movement of it is in our hearts so just like hashem has a revealed and hidden we too have the revealed and the hidden and our bracha corresponds and reflects with both of those things i'll tell you just in closing and i apologize again we're a little abbreviated this week but and i reserve the right to say this in another context or maybe write it up i think this pandemic one of the messages of coronavirus and i know you and i are both equally so sick of talking about this but one of the messages of coronavirus is coronavirus covid19 is hidden you can't see it it's invisible to the naked eye how do you know it's there luffy massa because when someone contracts it when they it's transmitted to them they struggle to breathe they cough god forbid they need to be intubated minimally they need to be in bed resting they know it's there this invisible virus is there but we try to understand it the greatest experts in the world still have no clue what we're talking about from one day to the next our conjecture changes from one day to next our conclusion we reverse from one day to the next we admit we're humbled by how little we know or are able to understand about it and perhaps one of the messages is there are things that are invisible but they're very real there are things that we can't fully understand and it doesn't mean they're not true and just like that's true about this virus which has gripped the entire globe in my lifetime and yours and some would say in all of history in an unprecedented manner this has gripped the entire globe every human being alive the whole mother earth everyone has anything done that ever kursh baraku has sent down to the world something we don't know why we don't want it we can't wait to get rid of it i can't wait to overcome it but he sent down something to the world that even though you can't see it it's real and even though we struggle to understand it it has an impact and that's a message for all of humanity and for all of us the things aren't only real when you can see them even things that are invisible are are as real some ways they're even more real is the most real so on the one end of according to his impact he can be felt and perceived but when we try to come to describe him to understand him is incomprehensible we cannot and that's all communicated in our bracha so every bracha you're going to say for the rest of the day i see someone sipping tea someone having a cup of coffee every brook i'm sure you said you broke already enjoy but every bracha you're going to say the brachari shona the bracha the asha yatta that will inevitably come later every brahman you're going to say baruch hashem you are the makor brah are you the source of all the bracha in my life i'll you you're right here in the night you're always in the room you always have your hands on my shoulder you're always holding me up when i feel like i'm gonna fall you're always reliable and i can confide in you hashem you're you second person casual comfortable you're here then all of a sudden whoa one second he's the king of the universe the abu drab doesn't write this here but we do the same thing give you a little sitter snippet preview for a long time from now we do the same thing when we daven is the amid the not 19 brachas of barakat you give me you this you give me that you you you you what do we do right afterwards the felis whoa we fall right on our arm and we say tahaman i just spent the last several minutes talking about you and you and you and making demands and you give me this and you give me that you you you what do i have to do immediately afterwards i fall on my arm and i say a moment later i have to collapse on my arm and i have to say hashem i understand the difference between us i understand that we're not equal i understand that i can't begin to understand who you are so today was just a little abu raham we'll pick up next week with a new text altogether but this little paragraph in the abu dhabi is so powerful and without it i don't think we've actually said an authentic brah our entire lives so i bless you that as you say your blessings i bless all of us that as we say are brachas that we should be mindful and present with intention we should be transformed that we should shiver hashem that he should be equal and opposite us always feel his presence in every which way in a way that will elevate us in a way that will empower us in a way that will comfort us in a way that will strengthen us in a way that will hold us accountable he should be opposite us all the time and please god we should all stay happy stay healthy stay holy tonight behind the beam at 9 00 pm from the road special guests from judah michelle always inspiring my buddy rav judah 9 p.m tonight wishing everyone a great day if you haven't yet please subscribe to our youtube channel and as i said stay happy stay healthy