Living With Emunah (Part 148): Overcome the Voice of Opposition

Good morning and welcome back to living with Emunah. As we do our weekly study group or really our weekly support group to remind ourselves what really matters, to realign and calibrate our priorities, to refocus our mindfulness on expressions of gratitude and appreciation for the blessings of our lives, to be able to come together and support one another in living a life that is the most reflective of the truth that there's a creator and almighty who not only created this world and put us in it, but he put us in it for a purpose and he is lovingly and affectionately guiding our lives even when it feels he's nowhere to be found. It's nevertheless him. I want to thank our sponsors, our generous sponsors for the whole year, doctors Avi and Bella Morgan memory of our dear beloved friend and Emunah and so much else Dr. Brian Gabbay and Nesan. And I also thank our dear dear friends who sponsored this week and the next several weeks in honor of their beautiful children Joey and Marissa Abady. Abady and their expected baby who should be well and healthy and give their family a tremendous amount of Thank you so much. We continue to plow through our learning the author of the Mishkan Evna an essay he has on Emunah called know your Emunah that the source of the ability to live a calm and confident and serene life is all found in the knowledge and awareness that all of battles and all the struggles and all the external stuff that we go through that is only an illusion that we are in conflict and battle. But if we're able to channel our innermost self, our better self, our best self then we would see the harmony of the universe. Then we would understand that everything comes together for a reason and that we'd be able to not necessarily be happy with all that life throws our way, but we'd also not be rattled or frazzled by it because we'd understand that it comes here for a reason. So we left off I shared the last week. If you have that link we left off where we are aware of the Gamara records the following story. That the great Rabbi saw one of his students who was afraid he said you must be a sinner. I see that you're afraid. I see that you have fear. I see that you have anxiety. So there's only one conclusion that I could reach and the conclusion I reach is you must have sin on your hand. Now again and I've said this a million times I'll say it a That word sin is not our word. That's not our word. That's a Catholic or Christian word. I don't even know what the word sin means. What is sin? I have no idea. We translate the word as sin, but it's an inaccurate translation. I don't know what sin means. That's not a Jewish idea. The word hate means a missed opportunity. Throughout life we have in an endless array of choices that we make. We are challenged with them almost from the moment we wake up in the morning and when we make the right choice we draw closer to the people around us or to our children then we've taken advantage of the opportunity. A hate is a missed opportunity. If I told you there's going to be a pandemic and Amazon's going to hit an all-time high and buy that stock now. Some reason Tesla's going through the roof buy now. If you didn't buy, did you do a sin? If you didn't buy you had a missed opportunity. And you know what your punishment is? Watching everyone else enjoy the fruit of that stock of having it gone up and you missed that opportunity. On the other hand if you took advantage of the opportunity the reward is that you took advantage of the opportunity and that in itself presents a reward. And that is our life with Torah and his expectations and his demands of us first of all they're for us not him. When we miss that opportunity it's a hate. If my wife says you know it would mean the world to me if you did X, Y, or Z. I could use some help or it would be meaningful to me. It would mean the world to me. If I say well that's nice, but I don't really feel like doing it. I don't have time to do it, energy to do it. I don't want to do it. And I don't do it. So that's a missed opportunity. I missed the opportunity to express affection to express loyalty, to express appreciation. And is there an external punishment? There's no external punishment. The punishment is the result namely that there's a sense of a feeling of distance or alienation that needs to be corrected and repaired now because I didn't take advantage. I missed that opportunity. On the other hand if I say sure, I'd love to. Not only that, I know you so well I did it even before you asked. I knew how much joy it would bring you. Then what's the reward? Not an external reward. The reward is the feeling of closeness, of connection that resulted in taking advantage of the opportunity and not missed it. So a hate again I've said it so many times I know is a missed opportunity and within our religion, within our philosophy, within our theology gives us 613 opportunities, 613 invitations to come close to him. And we miss those opportunities that result in a feeling of distance, alienation that result in a feeling of having compromised ourselves result in a feeling of not being our best selves and then also have a sense of course of accountability to them or we took advantage and we've drawn close and we've realized a better sense of ourselves. So here the great Rabbi saw his student was afraid. And he said the fact that you're so afraid the fact that you're riddled with fear and anxiety, not the clinical anxiety which is a legitimate diagnosis that needs to be treated, but the fact that you're riddled with just the general Jewish anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness it shows me that you have hate, that you've missed opportunities. told us of You see from this conversation this brief interaction that fear fear is the result, the consequence of missed opportunities, of mistakes that we make, of miscalculations. I see says Schwartz the reason is these don't do a lot of help when you hold them in your hands. See when a person interacts with their strengths, with their talents, with their blessings with the things that come to help them he's so joyful. Right? You're so happy. If you were so nervous and you were so afraid and how you going to work something out. You're studying for a final and you have no idea what's going to be on the test, what the teacher's going to ask, if you really have a a real grasp of the material and someone comes to you and says ah I took the class, I know the teacher here's exactly what's on it. Let me help you. Shh punk. All of a sudden you're so happy. You have this instant sense of relief this instant sense of joy. You're suffering, you're struggling with an element of pain, an ache and someone says oh that's tennis elbow. Oh that's this. Oh I had that and here's what you do for it and you can get rid of it really quickly. Boom. Even before you heal even before you you've gone through the therapy all of a sudden instant relief and happiness and an instant sense of joy that there's someone here to help me. And I'm going to get through this. And there's a plan. And it's going to make And when a person has the clarity that there's somebody who has my back. There's somebody who knows. There's somebody who's been there before. There's somebody who has experience. There's somebody who's in control and they're on my side and they're going to help me. That brings about a sense of happiness and joy. Whether it's with studying for a final or whether it's trying to get rid of an ache or a pain or whether it's any other thing in life. Well the but the opposite's also true. When you see and you look up and you say oh my goodness I have so many things that I have to overcome. I have so many obstacles and so many impediments to my happiness. This pain and this ache and this challenge and this is why I'll never heal and this is why I'll never get better. You ever get a cut in a place where a band-aid can never fit? Like between your fingers. I don't know. You say not only do I have the cut, the paper cut it's in a place that a band-aid will never ever ever hold. Like the world is against me. The cards are stacked against me. There is no hope of this ever getting better. And you just feel this sense of helplessness and hopelessness. You feel the sense of opposition, friction battling. Everything's trying to stop me. Everything's trying to hold me back. Who may I help you also? Then you're filled with anxiousness and worry and fear and nervousness and doubt and uncertainty. Then you're filled filled with Then you're filled with hopelessness. Those are the two emotions. Those are the two ways that we interact with the world. Some see this in a very mystical way. Some see this in a very cabalistic way. That the moment you make a mistake, the moment you sin you shouldn't have eaten that thing. You shouldn't have said that thing. You shouldn't have slept to that hour. You shouldn't have gone to that place. You shouldn't have looked at that thing. You shouldn't have bought that thing. You make a mistake, a hate that all of a sudden through the hate, through the misdeed, through the indiscretion you have given birth to Malach Havala. You have brought this negative energy in the world. You have given birth to this negative influence. So some believe mystically that when you do a hate you've all of a sudden introduced this force into the world and now that force stands against you. The force is the opposition to you. The force is the the force is the what's it called? Not the defense attorney, but the prosecutor. That force is the prosecutor against you. Against you. And you can't see it. You can't see that force against you. But now it's there. It's there. In the background. It's there. In the shadows. It's there. Constantly opposing you. Constantly confronting you. Constantly trying to drag you and bring you down. Constantly trying to distract you. Constantly trying to block you. I'm going to these are true. So that perspective is true. And I'll just tell you I think I I said it yesterday at the parsha class I don't remember in our parsha if you're not listening to this parsha it's not so it's a good word anyway. In our parsha you have the story of the sota the wayward woman the woman who has infidelity against her husband. She's accused she's secluded herself with another man she's not related to and then she's tested whether in fact she violated his trust whether in fact she acted out against him and if she is innocent she's blessed which is in itself a question why should she be blessed? After all after all she violated secluding herself. I didn't talk about this yesterday. Why should she be blessed? Did that ever occur to any of you? This woman was warned by her husband I see you hanging out I see you texting I see you chatting this guy. Listen don't seclude yourself with him. It's a violation of yichud if the vice president of the United States could could be careful you so can you so can we. Be careful because when people seclude themselves who have a energy between them a connection it leads to bad things. So don't put yourself in that situation. What does she do? She secludes herself and two witnesses come and testify to him we saw your wife go into the room with this man locked the door behind them the shades were drawn the shades were closed they had absolute seclusion for x amount of time. We have no idea what happened in that room maybe they played mahjong maybe they had a nach yomi maybe they were raising money for victims of covid or maybe something else happened. We don't know. All we know is they secluded themselves in that room. So that man takes his wife they go to the base on migdash to the cohen she drinks this water that tests her. She of course comes out and says no I never did anything we were playing chess or he's trying to teach me for your birthday I'm making a surprise party he was helping me and nothing happened in there. So he says well let's find out. We're going to the base on migdash and let's find out. And it turns out she drinks the water yesterday we spoke all about the ingredients in that water and why they're in there and she drinks that water and she's proven innocent. So the torah says woo she's innocent she gets a great blessing. She's going to experience tremendous fertility. She's going to have children beautiful healthy nachas children like the abbasids that give them great great nachas beautiful children. So you ever occur to you the question? I understand she's innocent put your head down walk away. You survived lucky you. You secluded yourself you shouldn't have done it. It was a terrible decision it was poor judgment you secluded yourself with this man. You survived it it turns out you didn't act out and the water validated that. Get out alive just go home put your head down start the therapy with your husband rebuild your life. What kind of bracha why does she get a bracha? She gets a bracha a blessing? Didn't she still do something wrong by secluding yourself? So I think it's the level of Yahoo the level who says the following I think it's him. He says you see a very powerful lesson from the story and from this law. And the lesson is yes she secluded herself. She did something wrong but she could have done more wrong and she didn't. She was alone and it invited and provided an opportunity to do something even more extreme even more drastic and she didn't do it. And you know Hashem appreciates and loves Hashem longs for even the small gestures for overcoming. So a person spoke lashon hara for 20 minutes but in the 21st minute had a pang of guilt and said you know what never mind I'm not finishing the rest of the story or never mind let's shut it down I'm not going to tell you more. Would you say that person should be punished only for the lashon hara? Hashem gives them a reward for having shut it down in the 21st minute. Somebody looks at things on the internet they shouldn't be looking at. They spend an hour surfing things they shouldn't be seeing. But you know what in the 61st minute in the second hour they say this isn't me I'm better than that I'm capable of more this is beneath me and they shut it down they disconnect they don't act out because Hashem baruchu says I cherish that that effort and that gesture and that love. Don't think that essentially what the law is teaching us is you know don't think I've already contaminated myself so badly I've already acted in such a negative way I might as well continue I might as well go all the way I might as well violate and forfeit myself even more. No to whatever degree you've made those mistakes stop yourself then because whatever you hold back as of now is still of inestimable value to Hashem still means the world to him still makes the most difference. He's watching and he cares and he's involved in our lives and shut it down and even after we failed you fall down you get back up. Even after you fall so the possuk says sheva yipol tzaddik vekam the tzaddik the righteous falls seven times and gets back up. The heilige Joey Newcomb sings it. Check out the song on YouTube afterwards. You fall down you get back up he quotes of Nachman. Why does it say sheva yipol tzaddik? It should be tzaddik yipol sheva pa'amim the tzaddik falls seven times. And the answer of Nachman of Breslov says is you're not called a tzaddik till you've fallen seven times and when you get back up. You're not called a tzaddik if you never fell. You didn't break your diet you didn't gossip you didn't look at the wrong thing you didn't say the wrong thing you didn't go the wrong place you didn't sleep in a little bit late you didn't fail to make the bracha you didn't lose your cool in your anger you didn't feel envious you didn't feel arrogant. There is no tzaddik there is no person who's never failed. Sheva yipol tzaddik when you fall then you're the tzaddik because you have the courage and the bravery and the energy and the resiliency to get back up. You fall down you get back up. You fall down and you get back up. The tzaddik does it seven times and so do and so do we. If you fall down you get back up. So that's the story. Hashem says she fell down. She went into a room she locked the door it was a mistake it's wrong. They're going to need some therapy they're going to have to figure that out. She shouldn't have even done that. She has to ask herself what went wrong. Why did I allow myself to be even put myself in that compromise situation. But you know what once she was in that room she had the inner fortitude and strength the tenacity not to do anything more not to compound it with another mistake and for that Hashem says beautiful. I love it. You fell down you got back up I'm going to reward you for the getting back up. And that's why when she's proven to be innocent she gets this great blessing of fertility she gets this great blessing in her life and that's the blessing Ah come back to why did I get into this? Because after the story of the sota what if she was guilty? What if she was you can get you know whiplash if you come to one of my shiurim from trying to you know get back from the detour to wherever we were going. So stick with me. Stay with me. So what happens the sota? What if she wasn't innocent? She drinks the mayim marim she drinks this water and it turns out she wasn't innocent. She didn't only lock herself in that room she didn't only seclude herself but she also acted out. She violated her husband's trust she went all the way. She drinks that water and what happens? So the gemara expands on the p'sukim of the torah and tells us she dies a graphic horrific heinous death. She dies a terrible terrible death. And then the next section in our parsha was the nazir. The nazir says woah la yikes. Reads that story gets that headline the gets that alert on his phone sota drank the water exploded everywhere died gruesome what a terrible death. What should that individual do man or woman a man or woman can become a nazir? Immediately yazir atzmo min hayayin. They should say woah that's what happens when you drink in excess that's what happens when you party and flirt that's what happens when you present yourself in a way that's not only attractive but attracting? I got to be yazir atzmo min hayayin. That person becomes a nazir that person pledges to live a life a more elevated life a different life. So Rav Ovadia asks I don't understand. This person man or woman saw the sota and saw what happened. If you make the terrible mistake what happens? There's a consequence. So when you see her die isn't that enough to motivate you not to walk in her way? Seeing her demise her death seeing her undignified end isn't that enough to make you say woah I don't want to ever seclude myself put myself in that moment I don't want to give into that temptation I don't want that to happen to me. Why do you have to go above and beyond to now say I'm going to take a neder I'm going to take a vow no more wine no more grape products I'm not cutting my hair I'm not having contact with death. Why do you have to go in the opposite extreme why do you have to actually take action? Rav Ovadia has a brilliant and critically important insight he says the following. Listen carefully this is what Rav Schwartz was telling us. He says because you know when you were a kid you read about and you learned of a sota that there are people who can practice infidelity. You heard about that there there's such a law for such a person who wasn't faithful in their marriage. But then you lived your life and you said that's just theory. That's a nice idea. Nobody I know could ever do that. I'm sure nobody ever tried that. I'm sure that never really happened in real life. I'm sure I would never do that no one would ever do that that can't ever be done that never really happened. And then all of a sudden you see the headline you see the picture you knew the woman it was your neighbor. And now you say woah. Uh peop- people do that? That can actually happen? Someone follows through on that thought and that temptation and that desire? And all of a sudden now it becomes a reality in your head. It went from the realm of theory to possibility. It went from the realm of on the books to in life and in practice. And now you need to do something to overcome and to combat that new level of temptation that you face because you know it's a possibility. You know there are people who've done it. You know it's a reality and that elevates the the level of temptation that it presents. So that's what Rav Schwartz is saying here. You know once you've done that thing you know let's say I'll give you the example in in the world of food. Right not religion. So you're in a healthy way you've lost a bunch of weight you're feeling really good and and just one day you you just gave in. You didn't have what it took. So you ate the entire bag of potato chips. You you couldn't help it. You ate the whole bag of the kettle crunch Cape Cod delicious potato chips. You gave in and you made it through the entire bag of Trader Joe's corn chips start to end you cracked open the bag and you made it to the end of the bag. You were licking the bag on the inside all the way. So what happens here's the danger. The danger is not that you had a bad day. You had a bad day. You fall down, you get back up. Joey Newcomb taught us, you fall down, you get back up. Fact that you had a bad day, everybody can have a bad day, that's okay. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. When you get on the scale the next morning and you say, "I didn't gain back all the way just cuz I had some corn chips. Nothing terrible happened. I didn't have a heart attack. My cholesterol didn't double. The scale didn't go up by 10 lb." Now you're in trouble. Now you're in trouble cuz you say, you know, that those corn chips, those potato chips, they were like poison to me. I'd never put them in my system. I would never contaminate myself with them. Why would I ever eat something of no nutritional value? I have no temptation, no desire. Here you've been good for 3 months and you're feeling great and looking great and measuring is being great because you've declared they're poison. You've declared an open war on on the potato chips, on the I'm speaking, of course, in theory and about my neighbor. On the on the potato chips and on the corn chips. But now the danger is you made a mistake. You ate the whole bag. That's what Rav Schwartz is saying. You have given birth, you have created a malach of chavalah. You've created an angel of destruction. And the angel of destruction is the next bag of potato chips that's still in the cubby because someone who doesn't love you for some reason keeps buying them or you don't love yourself and you keep buying them. And and that malach chavalah, the malach chavalah is now I know, I think I can eat that and it's not going to destroy me. So, in the back of your mind, you're starting to fight the battle all over again from the beginning. You had done so well, you thought you conquered it, you done you had suffocated and suppressed that voice and all of a sudden it's got a microphone and a megaphone and it is yelling at you, "Ah, you tried me. Nothing so bad happened. You didn't gain so much weight." It's a malach chavalah that you have created. You have renewed its sense of ability to battle you. You're back in the battle. You're back in the fight just when you thought you had gone on. Also, malachei chavalati machashavot tisa chaim she is not getting love. So, what does it mean you did a chet? You made a mistake. You made a mistake. You can make a mistake in religion, in Shabbos, in kashrus, in davening, in business ethics, in gossip. You can make a mistake in religion. You can make a mistake in health and wellness. You can make a mistake in interpersonal relationships. You made a mistake. The danger of the mistake is not only the mistake and its unique particular consequence. The danger of the mistake as that it also now is a force to be reckoned with. That you now also have a level of familiarity with it. A level of comfort with it. A level of connection to it and a level of belief that maybe it's not so bad. Our rabbis very brilliantly said, you know, the first time that you do an aveira, you feel horribly guilty and ashamed and it's terrible. The second time, you feel a little guess less guilty and ashamed. And by the third time, you've convinced yourself it's a mitzvah. No, I didn't eat and the fast day of Kim is coming up in 3 months, so I need the potato chips for the energy to give the amunah sheer and it's really a mitzvah there was nothing else to eat and Hashem would want me to eat that because he wants my pleasure after all and I should reward myself because I learned a little extra today. And all of a sudden, by the third bag of potato chips, you've turned it not only have you not done something terribly wrong, you've actually now in your mind rationalized why it's a mitzvah. You know the word rationalize, the etymology of the word rationalize, where it comes from? Rationalize is that you tell yourself rational lies. You tell yourself lies. They're rational lies. They make sense. If they didn't make sense, you wouldn't believe them. You rationalize, you tell yourself rational lies. This is my group therapy, by the way, about my eating habits. So, I want to thank you for joining me this morning. Check is in the mail to each and every one of you. Just joking. So, the malach chavalati. So, whether it's an interpersonal relationships or health or wellness or whatever area and arena of your life, the mistake is not only the particular chet that you did, but it's now the birth of the angel of destruction that you've created, the voice in your mind, the energy in the air, the new level of opposition that you have to confront and overcome. There's a formidable opponent that you now have to face again. Also, malachei chavalati machashavot they they they create and they give birth to a a world view that there's something which is opposing us. Umikach tisa mishashal polel gam kol min shlishit nigiyos. And now you're like living in this world of opposition again. Nimtza she shoresh hakochos nigiyos adam amol pachadim uchet. Chet. So, chet's what did it. So, in other words, here I'm eating well and I'm exercising, but then one day I did a chet. I couldn't help it. It was 1:00 in the morning. I just finished the work I needed to do. I was ravenously hungry. My energy to fight was lowered and I gave in and I ate the entire bag of potato chips. So, I was living in a world that I wasn't confronting opposition. But now the next day I woke up and not only do I have to live with the chet I made, the mistake I made of eating the bag of potato chips, now the next bag of potato chips is lurking. And you know what else is lurking? It says, "You don't have to get on the treadmill or the Peloton or go for that walk around the circle. Once you're already a loser ice life for these potato chips, you what what are you going to exercise? You know you hate the exercise anyway. You know you're only happy when it's over and you feel proud that it's done. You don't really enjoy it. So, once you're already eating the potato chips, and you know what? You didn't gain so much weight, so you skip a day of exercise. It looks like it could rain and who really wants to be doing it? So, let it go. So, let it go. So, now the chet that you made, the mistake that you made, A, you made a mistake, you ate a whole bag of potato chips. You feel pretty guilty, pretty lousy about yourself and you may not feel pretty not you may feel pretty nauseous at the same time. So, A, you have the chet, the mistake that you made. B, you've created this malach of chavalah that now is trying to get you to eat the wrong thing again. But now the malach of chavalah has really expanded his portfolio. The malach of chavalah is not only trying to get you to eat the wrong things, this malach of chavalah is also convincing you to drop the exercise, too. So, by making the chet, through the one mistake you made, you gave birth to an entire team of of opponents. Right? You were running unopposed. You were running unopposed. You were good to go. You had worked hard, you had eliminated the opposition, you were in great shape. You always knew an opponent could couldn't arise against you, but for the time being, you were running unopposed. And then you made a mistake. And not only do you face now one opponent, you've created an entire team of opposition. An entire team of opposition. So, what you see is and that's what the Gemara was telling us in the story of the Tanna who saw the Tanna Hamufchad who ran into a student who was living with fear and afraid, I'm afraid I'm going to eat the wrong things, say the wrong thing, go to the wrong place, do the wrong thing. I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid. He said, "You have so much fear. I see that you've done a chet. I see that you've made a mistake. I see that you've made a mistake." You see somebody who says, "Nah, I'm not exercising so much. I'm not so careful what I buy in the supermarket. I see you had a bad eating day. I see you made a mistake. I see you made a chet." Chet, that mistake gives birth to and generates, it is the source of a feeling again of opposition, of battling, of overcoming. Ki adur yeshna marashim she sovelim savlanut she chamur midas hapachadim. There are people who suffer a spiritual ailment so severe, more than anxiety and fear. Adam kaze yachol laleches berechov lo hargish pachad. There are we know all kinds of phobias. There are people who can't go outside. Mach mashu kvar shavui betisa she kol man yesh mishu rotzeh lesnagid alav. There are people who live with paranoia. There are people who live with fear of heights, fear of speaking, fear of viruses, fear of public places, fear of social settings. There are no shortage of phobias. Kasher hunigash lekabel tipul meafchanim as habaya kechisaron babitachon atzmi. So, at the root and in the therapy of so much of these phobias is a is a lack, a failure of self-confidence. A failure to believe in oneself. A failure to have a confidence in who you are, what you're capable of. A confidence and faith in the world and the people around you. There is a a deficiency. There's a virus in the system that makes you not believe in yourself and not believe in others and not believe in the world and that is that manifests itself in a phobia. Akein meatzem lahem leshavos besiva nochacha. Manikim lahem rak atomech o retza shonos migvanos mehem yoser amitiyos mehem pachus. And what's the therapy? What's the antidote? What's the response? Serene, calm, re-enter slowly, build up your faith, build up your confidence, experience things which will establish your your trust and your and your and your faith that you can live this way. And there's truth to this more or less, says Rav Schwartz. But now he's going to go on and we'll pick up with this next week about all of this is only one view. It's an external view. But there's an internal view, too. The internal view. So, this notion that when I make a mistake, I've given birth to angels of destruction, to these energies of destruction, to these voices of opposition, that now I've entered a battle and a struggle and a tension, this is all without my emunah glasses, without my bitachon LASIK surgery. This is all when I think, you know what? The potato chips are out to get me, Trader Joe's is out to get me, the Pelotons out to get me, the weather's out to get me, that the world is out to get me and I just don't have what it takes to fight anymore. I just can't fight anymore. I just don't have what it takes. And there are many of us who feel that way. Who feel that way in this quarantine, this pandemic, in this distancing. We feel that way because of this uncertainty. It is just it's just draining us of our energy and our resolve and our faith because that's our external sense of selves. And our external selves are having to answer emails all day that say, "Why do you exclude the 65 plus? Why do you exclude this? Why have you not entered the shul? Why are we not dealing in this way? Why can't we do this yet? Why aren't you allowing the other thing?" Or, "You're crazy that you started the outdoor minyan in Ukraine." And you know what? At some point, I can't fight anymore. I'm I have no energy. I'm no energy. But that's the that's the weak part of ourselves. That's the external part of ourselves that sees the world as us and them. That sees the world as battle and fighting. If you live with bitachon, which we'll get back to next week, if you live with that inner voice that's tzelem Elokim, that sees harmony in the universe, I meant to deal with these emails and these emails aren't against me and there is no conflict and confrontation and I'm simply an agent of Hashem. What am I meant to be doing and how am I meant to do it and this is all from above and it's all from him and it's all making me better. Not only does that not drain my energy, it energizes. Not only does that not make me sad or anxious, it makes me happy. We'll end where we began. What if What if the there was someone who said to you, "Oh, I took that teacher. I took that final. I took this test. Uh spend 20 minutes with me. I'll tell you everything you need to know. You're going to ace it. You're going to do great. You're going to do great." Somebody says, "I lived through a pandemic. Spend 20 minutes with me. These emails are nothing. You're going to be fine. You're going to come out the other end. It's all going to be good. It's all for a reason." That brings simcha. So, when you think you're abandoned and alone and isolated, when you're worried and doubtful and uncertain, when you feel the world's out to get you, you're you just can't anymore. You have nothing left to fight. But, when you feel like there's someone who says, "I'm here to help you through it. Oh, I had that paper cut. Oh, I had that tennis elbow. Oh, I took that final. Oh, I lived through what you got. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm going to guide you and I've got your back and you're going to get through it and it's going to be great." Then, not only are you not drained, but you're re-energized. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. Okay, let's do it. Let's make it happen. Let's go. Then, you're able to really make it happen and that's what a life of emuna and bitachon is. Hashem is by our side and Hashem is with us and we are absolutely ready to go. So, thank you for being with me this morning on this journey. If you're watching on YouTube live, feel free, please to subscribe even if you have not, please subscribe and everyone is invited this evening on 9:00. We have Behind the Bima. We have a great guest, Marvel, who is a amazing APAC student activist. He's just graduated. He's going to talk about He's going to talk about how an African-American got involved in pro-Israel activism, his feelings about the APAC conference being canceled and of course commenting on what's going on in the in the world today. We're looking forward to that conversation. It's at 9:00 tonight. Wishing you everyone a day filled with emuna, calm, confidence, love, peace. Be happy, healthy, and holy.